Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep. 58 | Roger, The Ripped Kangaroo Dead at The Age of 12

Episode Date: December 10, 2018

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You're listening to Chewing the Fat on Demand. But just to let you know, because this is for the podcast, what I'm not going to say here, you only get three edits. So choose wisely. Maybe I'll get three edits. Hey, I'm trying to work here. Yeah, don't worry about the show. Yeah, it's being recorded right now. Anyways, you only get three edits.

That's all. So choose wisely what you want. Is that like a new contractual arrangement with you or something? That is a new contract. I was not part of those negotiations. Tough. I learned that one from you. tough. So you get three edits.

Don't use my lines and stuff back at me. Oh, right. Huh. Ain't that up. Don't do it. Don't do it. But anyways. I was not part of this negotiation, so I don't, I'm not into it. I'm not involved in it. Okay, that's fine. You could talk all you won, but I'm saying you only get three edits. I'll edit one because you were cursing at me. And I'm going to put, I'm going to leave that. This is staying in the podcast. You were cursing at me. So I had to, you're lucky, you curse.

And by the way, so you're all listening, I have to bleep. No, not bleep. I have to, the way that he works around this is that he curses, and then that doesn't make it through the podcast. That's how he works around this. They start cursing up a storm, and then I'm like, man, I can't use that. Definitely cannot use that.

Weird how that happens. Weird. Isn't that? That's a little behind the scenes are chewing the fat. Weird how that happens. supposed to start recording like, you know, one o'clock and usually three hours later for a 40-minute podcast. That's all I could give you. Out of the three hours that we record, I could only give you 45 minutes because the rest of his, Jeffrey, just being mean to me.

Well, I'm like a battered wife. I do. I do suffer from battered wife syndrome because I come back to you. Well, I'm like the battered wife of the gamer. You would want to go there? No, I don't. Okay. No, I don't want to go to that.

But we all saw the video this weekend, right? You saw the video of the gamer and the hollering and the beating of the wife and the wife coming back and screaming. It was really tough to watch. There was no violence in the video, but you just hear it and you know what's happening. I think that's what makes it worse because your imagination gets all wild. It does. And I'd like to just comment as saying that I don't know if anyone has actually said that they don't believe it. So let me be the first.

I'm not sure I buy it. You don't buy that happen? I don't think I buy it. Because nothing happened on screen. It was all off screen. The stuff that was supposed to have happened was all off camera. Yes. We just heard.

We just hear her crying. Right. We hear the baby crying. Right. But we don't see. There's no, there's no video evidence of him hitting her. And there's not one. Even on the audio, you don't hear like a dunk over like, you don't hear none of that.

I think you do once. Oh, you do? Oh, okay. No, I want to play it. I know I really want to play it too, but it's really rough to play now. But I think the first video, there were two. Yeah, there was two, yes. The first video, the very first time he gets up, I think you hear.

Okay. What a sounds to be like a punch or something. Okay. I think. I got to go back and listen, but I don't care. Don't buy it. Also, the issue that I'm having with this, too, is that the guy who reported on this docks the guy. give out all his passwords and the accounts were deleted his Twitter was deleted so I'm upset about

that of who is this guy to serve as judge and jury right docks the guy give his passwords because according to what I've never heard of the guy until yesterday or two days ago right um and I was like oh he's a big streamer he's streamer I get it you know he's trying to work and somehow you destroy his livelihood because allegedly he hid the wife. Now we learned that he was arrested, I'm putting this in air quotes, arrested,

but not charged and the wife is okay according to the guy that docks them. So, and I'm having kind of difficulty because I went back and look at the history of the guy that docks them he has never tweeted. And he's tweeted like maybe once a year since 2015, and in

2017 he stopped tweeting and he started tweeting about this. So, that's what I mean. The whole thing is a ruse. Because we learned from Jake Paul, one of the Paul ones, that he did something fake in order to gain some in YouTube. Wait, what? You remember that one? I think I learned that from you or your son, something like that.

The Paul's, I know, he got in trouble and it didn't cost him anything because they ended up making all kinds of money with the boxing matches. But the one brother was the one who videoed the suicide forest. The suicide. With a Chinese guy. Yeah. Yeah. In Japan? Yeah.

Not China. Don't. Oh, sorry. Don't get them mixed up. No, I apologize for the Chinese people and the Japanese people. The, uh, you know what? I hope they take, I hope they accept the apology. The, uh, anyway, I, I don't remember if it was, but that wasn't, that's not what

you're talking about. No, that's not what I'm talking about. No. You're talking about faking something else. You know, it's, why not? Why not? I mean, we all nothing. Welcome to chewing the fat.

yours truly Jeff Fisher and of course the producer Chris Cruz thanks for being around we've got a busy day today I'm serious today has been one of the weirdest days in my life in a long time really really that really has been a strange day and I just I want you to I want you to welcome you to my world I can't tell you all of what's going out of my world so let's just talk about what's going on around all of us. Not just me, okay? We'll start off with some sad news. A couple of sad news stories.

Do you remember the Uranus Examiner in Missouri? Yeah, it's closing. I know, dry your eyes. The Uranus Examiner, it's the Missouri newspaper that, you know, everybody was having a fit over and the big argument over it. Well, the editors announced that Friday was was the last one. They've only had a couple of additions.

And the managing editor, Natalie Sanders and Louis Keen said, they blamed a judgmental fuddy-duddy squad. And I agree with that. I agree with that 100% because it was, it's Uranus, Missouri. Right?

Who doesn't think Missouri is Uranus? And, you know, I've been to Missouri numerous times. Love the state. No, really. But they said many people supported the paper, but banks declined to loan money to it. Many businesses wouldn't advertise in it. I mean, and in part because Keene owned a strip club, what? What?

You kidding me? Is it illegal? I don't think so. I mean, look, I know that Uranus is an unincorporated tourist spot. along Route 66. I'm sorry, Route 66. And it's always known for its quirky attractions. It's had a fudge shop.

It's got the world's largest belt buckle. Huh. I must not have entered mine. The decision now, now, this is where it gets sad, though. Belaskey County has no newspaper. That's where it gets sad. There's no news that they could possibly get in Uranus, Missouri now, because they don't have a newspaper.

It's sad. Sad news. Sad news that The death of the Uranus examiner More sad news I know I hate to I know I'm sorry it's Monday Well let's just get through it okay

Do you remember Roger Ails? Yeah he died The giant kangaroo Who you know Made news Because his pictures went viral Because he looked like the big giant weight lifter guy It looked like he'd been doing roids

you know, the Ruanroids. And his mother was killed in a car accident. And that's why you got to know Roger, because he was rescued. And was growing up at the kangaroo sanctuary in Alice Springs in Australia. And, I mean, if you know anything about Australia, you know that the kangaroo sanctuary in Alice Springs is the place to grow up. Now, he grew up to be six foot seven. And 196 pounds. And we've seen the pictures.

I mean, he's a big old kangaroo. He's a big old roo. They didn't give us a time to mourn. They didn't know he was ill. We didn't know anything. All we do is we get the announcement from the kangaroo sanctuary in Alice Springs. They lost their beautiful boy. Roger, the kangaroo, dead at the age of 12.

Now, you think to yourself, wait. the kangaroo was only 12 but really kangaroos only lived to be about 14 years old and another thing that happens to kangaroos which is why you want the sanctuary really why you want the sanctuary

in Alex Springs is because when kangaroos start getting sick if they have some kind of disease or they start getting you know they start feeling bad yeah the other wild dogs and dingoes in the outback They just kill them. Ooh, we got a sick one, dead.

And they eat it. It's over. Now, apparently, Roger had like 12 partners. So we could have little Roger Ruse running around. Oh, I was thinking of an STD. Like, did we check for STDs? I mean, we could call Alice Springs,

the sanctuary. Oh, shoot. I'm the producer. So let me, I'll get back to you on that. Sorry, that's my fault. Now, they're getting condolences from all around the world, but Roger did struggle with arthritis, fading vision,

but was really loving his retirement. I didn't even know Roger was stopped working and he retired. Impossible some STDs. We don't know. He was sick, is what happened. He was sick, yeah. That's why we, that's why they never, he stopped. retired in

2016 at the age of 10 because he was struggling with illness that penicillin wasn't helping. So, while he was 6-7 and a couple hundred pounds, you start getting those

STDs kicking in. The dingoes and the wild dogs are looking for you. Man, they're after you. That's your good meal then at 6'7. He was lean meat. If you look at him, he was all, lean, so that's all lean meat.

He was at the time. It was at his heyday. Yes. It was his heyday. Not here at the end. Oh, no? No. No.

He was struggling. Yeah, but he's not even kept, he was not even to keep his lean. Like, you know, that sucks. He was sick. That sucks. That sucks. And arthritis, he could barely hop around like a kangaroo. Couldn't see anything bumping into walls.

Roger the Rue. Dead. At 12 years old. All right. to animal news. And I mean, I've got, this is unbelievable today. You know, some days the fat pile just gets bigger and bigger. And other days, the fat pile stays the same because there's a side fat pile.

It's like a, you know, it's like the roll along the side. This is a fat roll along the side from the pile with animal stories today. Delray Beach, Florida. Students at a Florida house school looking to get a little candy bar from the vending machine. popped their money in and looked inside the machine. There's a rat climbing through the rows of the vending machine. That would put a nix in wanting to push L2 or R2 or whatever is your candy. Right?

You're thinking twice about that. Are you though? You are. Really? Heck yeah. You're double thinking that snicker bar. Now I'm talking about most people. Me?

No, I'm dropping. Snicker bar is S2. Okay. And down it. And then you, I mean, you have to open that thing up carefully, though. Oh, yeah. You don't want to drop down. Yeah.

Yes, yes. Right? Or it's candy bar. Because you see the, and it drops down in there, but you don't know about that rat sneaking around. Or is there any more rats. Right. Because here's where there's one. There's more.

There's more. That's a fact. Pita. So they started freaking out and they posted the video online. And, you know, the school obviously, oh my gosh. The vending machine company was alerted and an extremely. Terminator was called. It was particularly disgusting because students eat from that machine throughout the day.

All right. So let's say you pushed S2 and drops down the Snickers. You reach it and you pull the Snickers out. There's no bite marks. You're golden. I mean, if the rat has not gnawed into the snicker bar, you're good. You're good. If you pull out a Snickers bar and it looks like something's been gnawn on that,

bad boy? Are you eating it still? Don't ask me that question. I'm asking you. I'm eating it. Of course you're not. You're a whoa, what the heck? And you're turning that thing in, right? You want to find you're leaving a note posting for the vending machine people. Somebody owes me some money. In today's world, you're snapping a picture. You go viral. You go viral. You get free snickers for life. Well, at least from that vending machine guy. Yeah. Snickers is like, we got nothing to do with it. When it left our company, we were good. We were rat free.

So, I mean, that's a little, I don't want rats in the vending machines. That's a little New Yorkish for Florida. Now, the good question here is, what happened to the items that were already in there? Oh, you know, they just got rid of them. How dare you? You know, they did. No, I will say this. Put them in the discount pile.

No, the vending machine guy took them all out. He said, it probably took the machine out. He took the machine out, put it in a new machine. They hosed it down. But if I'm the vending machine guy... Here we go, Jeffrey. Give me. If the packages are not not down, I'm reselling.

Thank you. That's money. Thank you. I take that to the elementary school down the road. That's a lot of money. And put it back. Yes. Absolutely.

Yeah. Did those come from the rat machine? No. No. This is a brand new box. No. Yeah. No.

We're not throwing those away. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, wait. if they're not really... If they're not nod on. No, of course, yes.

If they were just, and then of course, before being exterminated, you know, hopefully the exterminator didn't come in, then you just started, like, putting poison down the wrappers, you know, in the machine. I could still wipe those off. You're not eating the rappers. Really? Do you not eat the rappers? See, that's where I stop.

I stop. If the exterminator put some poison in there, okay, I put it aside, and then I'm not selling those. Maybe I'm giving those for free, but I'm not selling those. Let's give the sick stuff for free. Here, go get sick on me. That's what you do. That's a good plan.

This story, I have no idea why this story has been making the rounds, except that it's just a, you know, it's a funny little animal story that's, I saw this like a week ago. And, of course, you know, it's been in the side roll for a while now. But a moose rang a doorbell to, you know, wake up a couple in Alaska at the last. their house. Now they thought maybe somebody was playing a prank on them. The doorbell rang. It was early in the morning. I thought maybe it was an aftershock of one of the, of the earthquakes. I guess earthquakes are ringing doorbells. I don't know. That's what they said. That's what the family said. Now, he looked out the door and didn't find anything. So he thought the kids were

playing ding dong ditch. Now, the other reason I never played that, as a kid is because you had to ring the doorbell and then run real fast. He had no about doing that. I'll wait out here. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll be in the ditch and you go. But that, I mean, who plays dig-dog? Do you kid.

Kids in Alaska are playing ding-dog ditch. Stop it. Well, my sisters in Alaska, you only get five hours of daytime. You really think you're doing that? You're not playing that. No, you're not doing that. Now, so he goes to the video. Let's roll the tape.

It's got video. Why is he, why isn't that checked first? Why are you thinking, oh, it must have been kids? You're looking at the video. Now, maybe he's going to the video going, ah, it's got to be kids. Let me see the video. Play in a stupid dig, dog ditch.

Let's roll the tape. He rolls the tape, and this moose is at their front door, but the moose isn't coming up with head first at the front door. The moose is backing his old moose caboose up against the doorbell and ringing it, and then goes away. So the moose is playing ding-dong ditch. The moose is playing ding-dong ditch. Wow.

I don't know what the moose call it. I don't know what moose is called ding-dong ditch. Ding-don-ditch. Nah, it's got to be like a moose caboose-coboose ruse. Ooh, I like that. Moose-cabooose. Like it. Doesn't really work, but.

Wrong with it. Just run with it. Yeah, they play, no, really, in Moose's world. I've been to the Moose Sanctuary in Australia. It's right next to the Auster. It's right next to the kangaroo sanctuary in Alice Springs. And the mooses, they laugh. Oh, man, they laugh so hard about playing moose caboos.

They get to see who gets to back up the softest. It's just touched the normal ding-dong, and then run. Moots are big, man. I don't know if you've ever seen mooses, bad, but they are big. Mooses are big animals. Which is why they have to go very soft. That's a trick. How soft can you go?

Right. Right. When they're playing. Moose, caboose, ruse. Yeah. Oh, man. That's so much fun, moose. Caboose, ruse.

So I, it's the mooses. It's not me. I don't know what you're talking about. So stupid. And so there's video this weekend that I keep seeing making the rounds on my, on my interwebs about the Florida State Highway Patrol trooper, pulled over a trailer, a horse trailer. a horse trailer with a pickup

and then all of a sudden, no, lemur popped out. So I'm going to watch it. It's really kind of boring. I mean, you see the lemur kind of jump out of the trailer and he's wandering around.

It's a cop. He just jumps out. He's running around. No, he doesn't attack him or anything. Right. Nothing. And apparently the guy, you know,

the guy was drunk. But he actually tried to help him. He said, a horn. He said, Hey, that Libo, his name is Miko, and he bites.

That's it? Yeah. That's what he did. did. And then the cops shot the lemur. Whoa. No, they didn't, but I wish they would. That's the only reason I watched the video.

It's the only reason I watched the video. Because you want to see the guy shot? I wanted to see the lemur get shot. Do you hear me, Pita? Peter. I wanted to see the lemur. That's the only reason I watched that stupid video was to see the lemur get shot. Now they got, they took, he gets arrested for DUI.

And it says in the story, several charges, including DUI. So they must have charged the guy Shane Taylor. No, the Libre, well, technically, yeah, the Leber got arrested too because the state wildlife officers took him. Why? I know. He didn't do anything wrong. I know.

He was just going along for the ride. Since when do we start prosecuting passengers? And then there was also a few other exotic animals, including a tortoise, a goat, a parrot, and a wallaby. Okay, what do this guy do for extracurricular activities? Because if he's drunk with a zoo like that, I really want to know what he's doing. Well, he most definitely wasn't playing moose, caboose. Roo?

Ruse. Mm-hmm. Oh, we can go with some more. I mean, I've got three more deep dive animal stories here. Deep dive. It's Monday, right? It's Monday. I know you didn't want to go to work today.

I didn't either. It's Christmas. You know, maybe did a little Christmas shopping yesterday. Saturday, Friday and Saturday, we're here in the math. Metroplex were crappy days. Sunday was nice, so everybody decided everybody's got to go out. Why is that? And of course, because it's just the way it is.

Why is it that after like two days of rainy, all the time, everybody decides, oh, here we go. No, stay inside. So, I had already arranged to, you know, go see Santa Claus with the family. And my wife's grandchild, you know, had to take her to Santa Claus. and, you know, there's a couple stories this weekend where people are in trouble running around and hollering at kids telling them Santa Claus isn't real. Shut up!

Shut up! So we were wandering around Grapevine, Texas all day yesterday. I'll post a video. I tried to make a little money, actually, at the kissing booth. I know. How many takers? Come on, man. I was surprised, too.

I don't know why you still here because you might have made a buttload. I know. I don't want to sit down when I tell you this nobody took me up on it so yeah we're out and about Christmas capital of freaking Texas or whatever they call themselves over there Grapevine is nice and we take the pictures

you know it just pissed me It really pisses me off when I read the stories about the people running around hollering Because say you're real Shut up We got it douche I was in such a mood I wanted somebody to start hollering at yesterday

we were around Santa Claus just like a punch him he'd almost shut up so the giant tortoises on the Galapagos giant tortoise the Galapagos

Galapagos Galapagos Shut up my god I didn't no one asked you no one needed to hear from you so they have a lifespan of over 100 years.

And now there's a new study. Now, this story kind of ticks me off. Because there's nothing to it. They want me to, they're leading me to believe that they've found something. They've done, they found zip. Lifespan over 100 years, according to the National Geographic, a new study is pointed to genetic clues that can explain the length of the tortoise lifespan and could be applied to human life in the future.

Okay. Now, that makes it sound good. We've found something, right? The study, which was published in a paper Monday by nature, ecology, and evolution. I mean, I normally get nature, ecology, and evolution. It focused on two tortoises, and it found tortoises like George. I'm sorry, the two tortoises. One was a lonesome George.

And so it found one tortoise. Handful of gene variants would promote healthy, full immune system, quick DNA repair, a natural defense against cancer, according to the paper. Okay, great. How does that help me? How does that help the humans? It doesn't. Now, in the future, maybe it will.

I know that we're comparing the DNAs of the lengthy tortoises lifespan. We're comparing them with, you know, humans and chickens and a mouse and dogs. and geckos, but we really don't have any correlation yet. So it doesn't really reveal anything yet, does it? Nature, ecology, and evolution. No, it doesn't. And then this story about this year, we should give thanks for spiders. No, thank you.

We all hate spiders, but we shouldn't. We shouldn't hate spiders. Why? Because they're so good for us. Unbelievable as it may seem. Spiders work in controlling the insect population. It serves an even more important function than preventing the spread of communicable disease. It prevents what would be otherwise a massive permanent global famine. That's all because of spiders.

Spiders are protecting us all. What would a world life be without? spiders, according to this story, pretty terrible. We shouldn't be scared by spiders. If you get bitten by a spider, you're simply not going to die. But you know, unless, of course, you're old or young or have an unusual allergic reaction or refuse to avail yourself of any medical treatment. But other than that, you're not going to die from a spider bite. But you actually can die from a spider bite. Now, apparently, a lot of people haven't died in quite a while from spider bites, but we're supposed to be thankful

for spider bites. No, that's not true. We're not supposed to be thankful for spider bites. We're supposed to be thankful for spiders. And just because we get a spider bite, it doesn't mean we should hate spiders. Wrong. All right, I'm done with animals.

I can't do animals anymore. I can't. I don't want to do animals anymore. I know we could do crime. We could do, oh, this is actually one of my favorite stories. Oh, no, before we do that, let me tell you about Elf on a shelf. All right, so we talked to, what's your face, Chandabelle. You know, what's your face?

You know, the elf on the shelf lady. She's the North Pole official storyteller, right? That's her title. She's the chief storyteller at the North Pole. Okay, I'm sorry, I do have to interrupt. The North Pole chief storyteller. My goodness. I need not want to do this, but I had to.

We talked to her on Friday about, or Friday, Saturday, whenever the hell we talked to her. I got my days mixed up. When do we talk? We talked to her on Saturday. Yeah. And we talked to her about the new Scout Elf, and they've got a new dog, and they've got a new this, and I knew that. And the elf on the shelf is all, you know, wonderful. And it's time to get the elf, and the elf shows up.

So, and there's new books and new movies and new music. I mean, it is an elf on the shelf world. And Chandar was really great. She actually is the North Pole chief storyteller. And she gave us some stuff to give away. We have Elf on the shelves to give away. We have the new dog to give away. We don't have the new reindeer, though.

Very disappointed about the new reindeer. They gave us all this free stuff, but they didn't give us a new reindeer. That's the thing I'm upset about. But they gave us the stuff to give away, and we're going to do it. So if you want the new elf on the shelf, the new dog that goes with the Scout Elf, the new movies, the new music, whatever you do, hashtag Chewing the Fat, hashtag Scout Elf, and give us the good home that your Scout Elf is going to get. I want to know about the good home that you're going to give the Scout Elf. And we'll pick the winners.

And we'll call you out on Friday's podcast here at Chewing the Fat. Okay? Very good. Hashtag Chewing the Fat. Hashtag Scout Elf. And let us know, you could even take, you know, you can send us a picture of what, you know,

where is the elf is going to live, where he's going to show up at. And we'll give him away. All right? Just for you. It's my way of, returning the magic that is Scout Elf on Christmas. Thanks to Chandra Bell, the North Pole Chief Storyteller.

Happy? I got it right. I knew what the stupid thing was. Anyway, everybody wants me to go on a cruise. Everybody wants me to go on a cruise. They're just going on a cruise. They're so nice. My sister-in-law.

Oh, let's go on a cruise. We've got a good deal. The whole family can go. My mother-in-law. Oh, it'd be so. nice we can go on the Disney crews. It'd be so nice we're going to ship. No.

I don't want to be trapped on a boat. It's a ship. And I know they're huge. I just, I joke around calling them a boat. I know they're just these monstrous ships. And being trapped is well, it's kind of

a weird thought because while you are trapped on this ship, it's a big place to be. trapped on. I mean, you've got a lot of things to do and a lot of moving around and you go to four or five stops. You go on some

Caribbean cruises and you go on some Alaskan cruises and you just enjoy the trip, right? That's the cruise that you're on. You enjoy it. And I saw a picture. There was one social media guy posting pictures from one of the new

cruise ships and he was so happy about the room and I thought the room doesn't really impress me that much, But okay, and you got to be up top. You can't be down with the lower levels. I mean, if I'm going to go on a cruise, I got to be up top. However, there was a cruise ship, a Norwegian cruise line vessel that was docked in Cuba. And people got off and, you know, sightseeing in Havana, walking around.

So, we've dropped, we're dropping you off. you go walk around Havana, be back by 3.30 because we've got to leave by 5. So you want to get back on it? You want to get around, you know, you want to get back. You don't want to just run up at 5 and try to chase the ship away. Well, it didn't matter because they came back between 3 and 3.30 to hop back on the ship after their day of traversing Havana. There it goes. Hey!

Hey! Wait, wait, wait for, wait, wait for us. Off it goes. It departed three hours earlier. Now, I don't know whose fault it was. The people, of course, blame it on the ship and the cruise line. But according to the itinerary that they have, it was supposed to leave at 5 p.m. that day.

but it disembarked at 2 p.m. So I'm not sure where the mix-up was, but somebody made a big mistake. Now, apparently in this story, the couple bought seats on a airplane and, you know, flew back home. And, of course, they were just devastated because their cruise ended early.

In a statement, Norwegian said the company had notified guests of the time change more than a month before the Havana stop and circulated it on their e-documents. Oh. Additionally, the day before calling into Havana, the cruise director announced a new time repeatedly throughout the day. Oh. Did he?

Additional signage was placed on the gangway for all those disembarking to see. Oh. It seems that the terms and conditions state that the shipboard time may differ from the port of call and its guest responsibility to follow the shipboard time and pay all expenses. is incurred to rejoin the ship. Oh! In the end, it's the traveler's responsibility to know when to be back on board that ship. You miss your cruise home.

There's no one to turn to for a refund or reimbursement. Oh! Hey! Wait, wait! Wait for me! Wait. Wait for me. stuck in

Savannah oh that would not be good I got this whole crime thing you can do it go right ahead go ahead and do your crime city but just let you know

your warning that you are at 45 minutes as of no no I don't buy it I don't believe it I don't believe it

tough you know don't don't don't Don't talk about, you know, when you have a co-worker that you hate, or you have difficult people that you work with, don't do it. Don't do that whole routine. Don't. I don't do that.

I don't know what you're talking about. Really? I don't. Don't you hate when you have a coworker that you can't stand by yourself to work with him? Don't do that. I don't believe I've ever said that. Really? No.

Let's roll the tapes. Let's roll the tapes. Oh, wait. I can't roll the tape because you have me delete that stuff. Let's roll the tape because I may have spoken. I may have talked a little bit. about having to, you know, put up with employees or coworkers that really are incapable of doing their job correctly.

But, you know, they're here and you got to work with them. That sounds like something I might say, right? So I was just guessing. But whatever you said, I said, I didn't say. I don't remember what it was now. All right, this story, look, I've got all times. I've got crime. I've got a stack of crime in this fat roll over here on this side of my body today.

That's unbelievable. But before we get to actual crime, actual crime, I want to actually talk about this lady who is getting all kinds of trouble because she claims she's going to cancel her baby shower because they, nobody likes. what she was going to name her kid. Okay. I am so ticked at this. I could not tell you. I don't care what you name your kid. A, B, C, D, E, Chris, Jeff, Bill, Maximus, Elvis, I don't get your kid.

Name your kid what you want. And in fact, this lady, this story is true, if it's true. And I'm putting a big if it's true on it. The name is actually cool. I love the kid's name. Squire Sebastian Senator. That's a cool name. Oh my, give it to me one more time.

Squire Sebastian Senator. Done. That is, yes. I know. So all you family members, let me reiterate what she does. told you because I want to be sure that what she said is clear to you. And this is she, where's her darn quote here that she said, her family members because she's not having the baby party anymore.

I'm not crazy. I'm not mentally unstable. She calls her family fake. F you all, fake a family. You won't get to be part of my baby's life. and it's all because you had to judge him. My baby's name will be a revolution. I mean, I love this chick.

If this is a real story, this is the name I was meant to give him. This is how it will be. He will not be allowed to have a nickname. Oh, you can't go. You can't say that, Mom. People will give him nicknames no matter one, baby, but it's okay.

You can feel that way right now. I know you're angry. And he's to be called by his full and complete name. Okay, that's good. As he's a little baby, you can make that happen. But as he grows up, you're going to have to, you won't be sorry, baby. I love you. And I'm glad you named your kid.

What you want to name your kid is fine with me. I think your name is a tremendous. I don't think you're crazy. I love the name. However, you're not going to be able to pull that off once he leaves your, what you leaves your little caring hands. Sorry, not going to. happen and your uh your little baby squire sebastian senator will be fine i mean they're gonna call

them what triple s triple s baby squire sebastian senator i love it now i would be i'm fascinated to hear a last name because remember we talked about the abc d a bcd e bcd and we want you know names have to kind of flow you know you know you know how it works So I'd be fascinated Squire, Sebastian, Senator Brown doesn't really work. Squire Sebastian Senator Lewandowski. No, that doesn't really work either. Squire Sebastian Senator Fisher. Oh, I like that.

That one rolls right off the tongue. Squire Sebastian Fisher. Oh, I forgot Senator. Oh, no. She's going to be mad at me now because I can only call her kid. All three names. Squire, Sebastian, Senator, Fisher. That doesn't really work either.

I know. I was just kidding. So it better be a good name. It better be a good last name. Otherwise, she might have a point. First, that's it. You only get called the three names. That's it.

We don't need to know your last name. Squire, Sebastian, Senator. Nobody needs to worry about your last name. Your last name, Cruz. Squire Sebastian Senator Cruz. Eh? Eh? If this story is real, though,

you people that gave her a hard time over naming her kid, Squire Sebastian Senator, in the words of the mom, the mom of Squire, Sebastian, Senator, F you. So where'd you go? I got a whole stack

of stuff to do. I look up and, uh, you're not here. I'm referring, not you, not you, the listener. I know you're right there. It'll be silly.

I'm talking to Chris Cruz, Mr. Executive Producer. Mr. I got to be part of the show now because just to be show off, Mr. Executive Producer. I look up and you're not here.

And then I see you walk by and walk back. I mean, something more important than the show. Yes, yes. Sorry. I had to go take a pee break.

We've been here for three hours. Then you need to, we need to work. on that a little bit. Work on what? It's called Human Nature. Oh, so you tell me that I can't go to the bathroom? I'm telling you that when we're in the middle of recording a segment, you don't get up and go

to the bathroom. That's what you do. You were done. I was not done. I was still finishing the story. You said F you. I had not even gotten to F you yet. Yes, you think I was watching.

When you said F you and you turn off your mic, I went to the bathroom. When I came back, you just were just restarting and called me out. You need some sort of help. or something. I don't need help. You know, do you ever see the, you know what we need to get you? Don't, don't, don't. You know my fascination. No, stop. I hate, is Fox News on? Is that why?

My fascination with the, the catheter guy. I am a fan of this guy. This is every day you. Oh, the catheter guy. Chris, Chris, Jim, Jim, the catheter guy is on TV. We need to talk to him. He has to be. Some people want to talk to world leaders. Some people want to talk to authors.

You know what I want to talk to? I want to talk to Jim the catheter guy from, you know the catheter company. The catheter company. You know who I'm talking about. All right, we're going to pause because I got to find, you got to hear the commercial, all right? I wish you could see it too. But if you just, you'll be able to, once you hear it, then someday you'll be watching. Oh, that's the one that Jeff was talking about because it's the, it's the catheter company with Jim the catheter guy.

And this company actually saved his life. And if it saved Jim's life, I think it'll save Chris's life. So if this commercial has a way to get free samples, we need to call and get Chris Cruz some free samples of the catheters. So just, I want to stop for just saying. I've got to find this commercial and then we're going to play it. Okay? So just bear with me. I won't pause the podcast long.

You won't know how long we've paused it. All right. It's Liberator. No, Liberator Catherer. Jim, the Catherer guy with Liberator Catherer. It's one of my favorite things in the world. You have to hear, you have to hear Jim, the Catherer guy. Go ahead.

Do you use catheters? Are you using the catheter that's really best for you? Oh, oh yeah. Oh, yeah. That's Jim, that's my man right there. Oh, yeah. Now, have you ever had a catheter? For real.

Chris, you ever really had one? I did. In the military, since we do long convoys, we had first learn how to insert our catheter ourselves. And then... I'm not a fan of that, really. No. And then when they were long convoys,

you're like, all right, catheter up. I'm like, okay, here we go. Are we going to just do up to each other? Would it be easier? I thought that's what the military was, one for all and all for one. I think that's the three musketeers. I've had catheters a couple of times, a couple surgeries, of course. Oh, yeah, of course, yes.

Oh, strangest feeling. And it's a even stranger when the last one I remember the guy said, well, I got to go get the nurse and we'll pull the catheter out. And I was like, okay. No, that was the first one. So the first one comes, the earth comes, and goes, I breathe out, who pulls it out. And then the second one, I'm like, oh, no, just where I'm yanking this thing myself.

It's time to go home. But my wife was there, so I let her do it. It's nice to me, I thought, hey, I love you so much. You're going to pull this catheter out of me? But if you can't make it through an entire show without going to the bathroom, and that's a, I mean, that's a radio thing. You should be able to make it through a show without having to go to the restroom. I'm talking to you, Chris Cruz.

Don't look like I'm not talking to you. We've been here for three hours. That's a radio show. Exactly. So I went to be... You should be able to sit, the length of the show. Whatever it is. Exactly.

Whatever it is. So if you had to catheter up for the military, you might want to, we might have to get you some free samples. Let's, I want to... Back to Jim the Catherer guy. Do you use catheters? Are you using the catheter that's really best for you? Oh, yeah.

That's my boy. For years, I'd been using one kind of catheter, and I never knew that there were other really great catheters available until Liberator sent me samples to try. If I had not tried the samples from Liberator, I might never have found the perfect catheter for me. Liberator Medical sent me a catheter that was easier for me to use right out of the package. Right out.

I even use them in my airplane and carry four or five and can be gone for a whole. day and now that I've felt pause for just so it's it. Okay so most of the time the television is on and I'm not actually listening to this commercial. I'm just watching it. Jim the catheter guy and I'm reading the verbiage on the screen. So I've never heard

Jim. I didn't realize that Jim. I mean don't they have like a big bag? You have to take four or five to be gone for the whole day? Don't they have just like a bigger bag you could put out or something? No, they don't. It's not that big. So you have to, you know, you got to redo? Yes.

Ooh. But I listen to, he maybe needs to stop drinking that much water. Well, no, it's good for you though. No, I know, it's good for you. Don't bad mouth drinking water. That was easier for me to use

right out of the package. I even used them in my airplane and carry four or five and can be gone for a whole day. And now that I've found the best catheter for me, it's made my life much easier. There are so many

innovative catheters to upgrade to. Call Liberator Medical for your free personalized sample pack. Get the best catheter for you. We are getting some for you, Chris Cruz. We are getting some for you. And also on the screen, what's my favorite? It talks about him getting the gym upgraded to the lubricated liberator catheters. So that means that the trial ones that they sent out are not the lubricated ones.

You're doing that? No lub. Oh. I guarantee you After spaying up in the plane all day With four or five non-lobed catheters You are ordering the lubed catheters The next day, my friend

You're gonna have those Amazon overnight You want those, yes, I'd like to lubricate it And deliver it at the front door right then We have to talk to Jim, the catheter guy Now he may not be willing to talk to us But we have to try to find out who this guy is Because I want to know A, if it's true. Like he's going to tell us.

Yep, I'm lying about it. So we know he can't lie. It's got to be him. And we have to find out how he, you know, if Liberator now gives him his lifetime needs with the lubricated Liberator. We are calling and getting Chris Cruz today, a free sample of whatever Liberator sends out. for catheters, because he's, I mean, obviously, and I care about him.

He's a co-worker, he's a friend, and I care about him. And if he can't go an entire show without going to the restroom, not only should he probably seek medical attention, but I want to help. And I want to help, and I'll get him some catheters to help him get through the day. I mean, you're welcome. Is that it?

We're done for the day. Thank you so much for listening to chewing the fat. I appreciate it. From the bottom of my heart, I mean that. Make sure that you subscribe, rate, and review. It helps with other people finding out about the show. I've got so much stuff. This is how the fat pile.

This is how you get fat. By each day, there's more stories, more stories, more stories. I try to get to them all. And then I get sidetracked like today with Jim the Catherer guy. and it eats up my time to talk about, you know, the guy who's trying to ban porn on college campuses. I have to talk about this guy. What kind of human being wants to ban porn on college campuses?

It's college. What do you think Tinder originated? I mean, anyway, follow me at Twitter at Jeff EMRA, Facebook, Instagram, Jeff Fisher Radio. You can email me, Chewing the Fat at the Blaze.com, And when you tweet or Facebook anything, make sure you hashtag it chewing the fat. See you tomorrow.