Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 58 | Still a Chance - Cruise Ship Rescue & Who Doesn’t Know Donnie and Marie?

Episode Date: March 25, 2019

Jeffy brings you today's headlines that include cruise ship gone wrong and Jeffy still has a chance to win. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to it, Chewing the Fat with yours, truly, Jeff Fisher. Happy, happy day. Happy day to you. You look great today, too, by the way. I don't want to, you know, pretend like I'm fudging the truth or anything, but you look great. You really do. Nobody won the lotto on Saturday. So we've got $750 million on a Wednesday night drawing.

Could be the last day. of chewing the fat. Oh, no, the next day will be. Thursday will be. I hit the $750 million. I'll come in and say goodbye on Thursday. I promise. I can't wait.

Now, eight powerball tickets worth $50,000 sold on Saturday. They were 88, 88 are worth $50,000. $1,000. $1,000, $1,000. A total of 101 powerball tickets had third place prizes. So people want some money on it. Just not the big drawing. I know.

I know, sad, sad, sad. Now, if you want even more sad news, think about this. Now, in this story, it talks about, you know, your opportunities and your chances to win. And I got it. Don't try to take my help away. He'll do it. But this guy, the David Johnson, that won in Brooklyn in December, who hit the $298.3 million jackpot. I mean, the day after Christmas, that's a nice holiday break right there.

Now, he took the cash option, which was $100,000. 180,000 or 180 million, 227,550. After taxes were deducted from that, $114 million. Now, I'm not poo-poo at $114 million. But what? I mean, you win 298 million, technically. And you only take home $114 million? That's a problem.

You should have moved out of New York. You shouldn't have bought the ticket in New York. That's a problem. And then you move on to, well, if you hit the 750 million powerball jackpot, your tax bill, whether you go with an annuity spread out over three decades or as an immediate, reduced lump sum,

24% of your win is withheld for federal taxes. However, the top marginal tax rate of 37% means you'd owe more to Uncle Sam at tax time. State taxes would also either be withheld or due depending on where you live and where you bought the ticket. Stop it! I just want the 750 million. Ain't nobody got time for that?

Thank you. But actually you're going to have to have time for that because the IRS comes knocking. Ouch. Yeah, you aren't lying. Yeah. How much did you owe over $150 million? Ouch. Okay, but where's the real out?

I thought we put the real outch in the system. Wrong six, I'm sorry Welcome to the show Of course, every show In America And maybe even around the globe today Is gonna want to talk about The Mueller Report

Now one of the reasons that I do chewing the fat Is so that I don't have to talk about the Mueller report Okay, this is chewing the fat I try to avoid So much of the meat of the politics because everywhere you go today, you're going to hear about the witch hunt that was the Mueller report. I know, 2,800 subpoenas, I got it, 500 search warrants, 19 lawyers, 45 FBI agents, 230 communication records, 50 wiretabs, 40 FBI agents, I got it.

And at least $25 million, probably over 30 when it all comes to the end. No, I'm not talking about it. tired of it, sick of it, and you should be happy that our president was exonerated. Put a little smile on your face. Our president wasn't a traitor? Yay! Plus, I'd rather talk about being on a cruise ship

and having to be rescued off the cruise ship. This is why I've said over and over again, I'm not doing cruise ships. I don't like cruise ships. These monster cruise ships, They get into trouble. Rescue helicopters took more than 475 passengers from this cruise ship that was stranded off Norway's western coast. It sounds like maybe Norway's Western Coast might not be the place to be.

That's all I'm saying. The vessel departed for a nearby port under escort, nearly 900 people still on board. All right? The Viking Sky carried 1,373 passengers and crew members. when it had engine trouble in the unpredictable area of the Norwegian coast, known for rough, frigid waters. Yeah, no, I don't want to cruise there. I mean, I barely would say,

I barely want to go into the warm waters of the Caribbean. Why do I want to go to the Norway, the frigid waters off Norway's coast? No, thank you. So the crew issued a Mayday call Sunday afternoon. Five helicopters flying in the pitch dark took passengers from... Five what? Five helicopters.

All right. We've got the tent people. I saw the ship and looks like. One just fell off. Oh, yeah, dive in. Drive in. Man and woman overboard. Man and woman overboard.

Bring them up. Hook her up. Bring her out. One left. Oh, there she is. Oh. Oh, we can't bring her all the way in. Somebody pull her in.

Somebody tag her in. Now, fortunately, no one died. All right. We got 20 people suffered injuries as a result of the incident. I got it. Okay? And they're receiving care. And, you know, the one guy said he was holding on to his wife's hand,

and the ship tilted one way, and waters crashed through the doors. And he couldn't hold on to his wife's hands. Oops! There you go. Oops. Oh. I couldn't hold on. and there she was gone.

She was down the other side of the ship, and then the ship tilted back the other way. Here she comes again. She's back at me. I got her. Yep, she's alive. Good. Thank God.

Fortunately, that happened because I couldn't hang on to her hand anymore. Check that life insurance. I mean, the footage was fascinating. This big, I mean, this monster ship, right? I mean, these Viking Sky cruise ships are just monstrous. And it makes you think that the engine failure will do that to a ship like that. Oh, yeah. I didn't know it would, like,

Like, okay, okay, fine, you don't have engine, but really? Well, then you're in, I mean, you're in the, you're in the Norwegian coast, the known for rough, frigid waters. Oh, look, there's the Norwegian coast. We're coming up on the Norwegian coastline, Viking Sky Cruisers. And look at how beautiful it is. Boy, the water is so cold. You don't want to fall into those. Oh, oh, boy, we just lost an engine.

Engine number one is gone. Oh, boy, there goes engine number two. They got all these, I got three or four engines gone. I'm sorry? That goes engine number one. Oh, I've got two more. There goes engine number two. Well, we've got those back engines.

Well, we've got one, maybe we can keep her up. And then the frigid waters are banging that ship everywhere. May Day, May Day. Scary, right there. I mean, serious May Day, right? And you don't want, I mean, I don't know. I'm not big on the cruises anyway,

but the last thing that you want to do on a cruise is, I got to do it, just put this on. Yes, sir, just put that on. We're going to jack you up. Oh, no, not you, though. How much do you weigh? No, you're going to be part of it. No, look up the lady next to you.

We're bringing her off. Not you, though, so. Sorry, I know, but I'm already here. No, no, no, no, we can't. We can't. We've got to fly the rest of the people out of here, sir, sorry. I mean, even there, you're concerned about the fat guy seating on the helicopters that are flying people out of there. 475 of them, though, they get out of here.

I mean, what a great job on their part. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it's night. They're pulling people off of there. They're dropping them down. Is that how they pick? I think it is, yeah. Women, children, and not five people.

Over here, we're flying over the Viking Sky. We're going to pick up this helicopter can hold 40 people. We're just hook them up. We're going to spin them up in a lot. Oh, no. Yeah, we're bringing him up. We could only hold 35. So, I'll strap on another one.

Yeah, that's all they do. That's how they do. You're in trouble there. But wait, only wait, 290. No, I'm sorry. 290. Yeah, maybe 290 a few years ago, sir, not today. Okay, 290-d.

According to the hook that just took the first tug on you, that's not too long. Hook up to the lady next to you, please. But the footage is great. Seriously, I don't want to go on the cruises. I don't want to do it. You're locked on a boat. We've talked about it.

You're just locked on it. It's not a boat. It's a ship. I got it. And you see some of the newer ones that they're building now and they're christening. I mean, they're monsters floating in the ocean. There's this huge Trump hotels, bigger than Trump hotels. Just floating.

No, thank you. No, thank you. They're not bigger than Trump hotels. Oh, well, I mean, they possibly could be bigger than Trump. Trump cruise lies. Yeah, no. I'm surprised he's not involved in that. Maybe he is.

Ooh. Just something else to go after him on. One quick crime done wrong story today. Ooh, this is worthy of crime done wrong today, too, because this 19-year-old from Missouri has been accused of allegedly spiking his co-workers' drinks with hallucinogenic drugs. Police were called to an enterprise Rent a car location in Arnold, Missouri. Who doesn't want to rent their cars?

Duh. Where else would you go? Two employees began to feel weird and dizzy for no apparent reason. Police spoke, I mean, why did he let this? This is why it's dumb. Dummy. Let's them call the police instead of saying,

no, it's all right. I'm feeling dizzy too. It must be something we all drank. Let's just go outside and get some air or something. But they spoke with a 19-year-old who has not been identified. He admitted to putting LSD in the water of two employees. and in the coffee cup of a third. They were too uptight.

They needed to have a little bit better energy. So I just gave me a little LSD. The manager told police that she noticed the employee acting strange and messing around with her drink and a dropper, so she decided not to drink from her water bottle. Oh, okay. Were you just that smart? I think not.

The drugged employees were taken to the hospital. They were held until the effects of the LSD wore off. officials took samples of the water and they didn't even arrest the guy so it's not even crime done wrong he wasn't even arrested their way to he could face charges of second degree assault

and possession of a controlled substance if the lab tests show there was LSD in the drinks he told you he didn't so if they come back and it's not LSD what is it where they feeling dizzy from

You know, it was, I don't know, jolt cola. I mean, I don't know. What could you, maybe he's hoping it was jolt cola. They started feeling dizzy. No sugar. Right. I don't understand. He told you he put LSD in the water of the two and in the coffee cup of the other.

He told, yeah, I did it. Yeah, they needed, they were just so uptight and they needed to have better energy. I just, I put LSD in their cups. Take me away. How else are you supposed to go up? What? How else are you supposed to get up? Thank you. Thank you.

You're working at Enterprise Rent-A-Car in Arnold, Missouri. I know. Nobody's coming into rent a car. No know what to do. I know. I'll put LSD in it. Everybody's drinks and they could just get all high. It wouldn't make it for a fun day.

But that's bad. No, you don't want to do that. All right. I've been asked to do a retrospective today on Tech 9. We lost them. We lost them over the weekend. How old was Tech 9? He was 47.

I know. I know. He was too young to go for Tech 9. However, we get reports that Tech 9 is dead. But the real Tech 9 says that Tech 9 is dead. No, hold on. Tech 9 says the real Tech 9 is dead, but the real Tech 9 says Tech 9 is dead. Tech 9 says the real Tech 9 is dead.

But I'm really confused now. So we did lose, we lost a tech nine, the 47-year-old tech-nine. If you follow him on Twitter, the real tech-9 is the one that is dead. Tech-9 is still alive. So the real tech-nine dead at the age of 47. But Tech-9 is not dead. That's retrospective. Wow.

I know. Look, don't. So I just want to make sure that I do have it right. So because I don't want to do the ret. I don't want to. He's retroactive. has got to be serious, all right? So the real tech nine.

At 47 years of age, dead. This has been verified by tech nine, who let us know that the real tech nine is dead. This has been retrospective on CTM. So I'm surprised they didn't stop this guy before he made it to the walkway to the plane. in Russia, in Moscow at the airport of Moscow, this 38-year-old standing in line waiting to get on the plane naked. This crowd behind him, he's in line, he's not making a big deal.

He doesn't seem to be impaired by any kind of drug or alcohol. He wasn't stopped by anyone. He wasn't trying to attract anybody's attention. He was just standing in line waiting to get onto the walkway to the plane naked. and people are filming him and he's just standing there who, who, who, yep, now he said

at one point after being stopped that he flies with more agility when undressed. I don't know that that means that he has some mental issues. That's very possible. But he was,

he walked on to the jetway, you know, heading to the plane, and that's when he was stopped. And so people are still walking by him. He's standing there naked. He's standing there. They're like, Um, dude, you can't be, no, you're not, they're saying this to have been Russian.

Dude, uh, what are you doing? You can't, uh, you can't fly naked. We're gonna, we've got you handcuffed here. They handcuff him like he's gonna do. So, he's gonna do somebody, is he hiding a weapon. So they handcuff him, and there he is in the jetway. He's just naked. He's sitting there on his knees.

And then he gets on his butt and he leans back. And he's, I know, he's just lean back. And he's like, I just wanted to fly, okay? I'm not drunk. I just want, I just want to fly. fly better. So he's been taken to a medical facility which I understand.

But, I mean, you have to feel pretty good about yourself, whether it's crazy or not, to just walking through the airport naked, right? How many are walking through the airport naked going, hey, I got to fly naked. Raise your hand. That's what I thought.

So did he get there naked? Did he get naked in the bathroom? What's the story? He said he took off all of his closed before boarding the plane. So I don't know if he took it off once he got to the airport. It's possible that he took it off once he got to the airport. But he made it closed to the jetway. I mean he was still this the videos showing him in line. You know, waiting to get on the naked or go through the doorways to walk the jetway to the plane. Hey, he's naked. And people ride him out. Right. But I don't think anyone did. I think

people are filming and finally somebody at the airline went. There's a naked guy On flightwork here in Moscow And we got to stop him What flight is it? That's the flight That's the flight That's the flight

That's a little-year-old Gracie guy That's watched around this airport before We got to bring him down Okay, bring him down So I mean he's He's out Just handcuffs People are walking by filming him

I mean I love the idea that he flies undressed because it makes him more agile when he flies. Does it make sense? I get it. Yeah, the pastor says it makes him

more agile when he's on dressed and he's on the flight. Yeah, we're going to go ahead and have to him bring him in. Let the people just continue to board. We don't want to stop the boarding of this thing. People get really pissed when we stop the boarding. I'm saying this in Russian, actually, though, because this is in the Moscow airport. I'd take some guts. Crazy or not. I mean, he's

out of his mind, right? Take some balls too. Yeah, he kept his hands covered out of. I don't know how big those were. Just leave that there. Speaking to be a naked, though, you know, the naked bike ride

in Philadelphia every year, they had it. Missed it? Well, they had it in September last year. Oh, we missed it completely. Well, it was really, really chilly. And, you know,

what happens when you're naked and it was chilly. So they moved the way. No, you know what? No, I don't know what happened. Yeah, there's shrinkage involved. It's like jumping in cold water. Same thing. So it was cold outside. Shrinkage involved.

So apparently they don't want that September happening again. So they moved it up to August. So the next naked ride in Philly is in August now. I got to get ready. But you see, there are several people that were standing along the streets, getting off their bikes, taking pictures with people in Philadelphia. and he was not worried about it being chilly.

I guarantee you that. There was no chilly-ness worry on his part. But a lot of people were a little upset over the shrinkage riding the bikes. So anyway, we got that to look forward to in Philadelphia, the naked buck ride, bike ride, buck-naked bike ride. Ooh, I like that. We should start a buck-naked bike ride here in Dallas. I like it. We could do it in September here in Dallas because that was not a thousand degrees.

We did it in August. you'd get really, who talk about a sun tan. Speaking of bicyclists and bicyclists, some of my favorite people. Careful. No, I know. Some of my favorite people.

I love bicyclists. They should be able to have the road all to themselves. Unfortunately, there's some people that, you know, drive cars. And we've just got to watch out for them. But now they're telling us that there's one simple trick that we need to do. Now the headline says, This one simple trick for not killing bicyclists became a worldwide phenomenon. It's rare that a bicyclist gets killed this way.

But there people, when bicyclists are riding their bikes along the road and people open up their car door, and the bicyclist hits the car door. And apparently that's going on all over the world. And we can't have that. We cannot have that. That's just wrong. And, you know, the idea of sitting in your car parked, parked, and looking in your rearview mirror. is that a bicycle is coming

he's just about at the edge of my car I'm going to open my door you can't be doing that that's just wrong what they want you to do now is they want you to it's called the Dutch reach the Dutch reach

no I know what you're thinking don't look at me like that no it's not that kind of reach that's a French reach we're talking about the Dutch reach any relations to Dutch oven so no they might be distant cousins

so instead of like you're in your car and you go to open the door with your left hand in America and places that drive on the left hand side you're parked on the road and your door is right there opening up to the road right so you open up the door

without looking you park you open up your door and that's where the bicyclist comes along and hit your door and what a shame that is when those bicyclists hit the doors like it is It's really sad. People have gotten hurt and a lot of doors have been hurt. A lot of doors been injured. So, and I know people have gotten hurt from it, don't start with me.

I'm on the bicyclist side here, really. No, I mean it, I am. So what they want you to do is the Dutch reach. So instead of opening with your left hand, they want you to reach across with your right hand to open the door, which means you turn your body, which means you have an idea to look to see if you can see with your peripheral vision, if someone is coming on that bike

so you wouldn't open the door until the bike rode by. And that saves lives. Does it? That saves lives. So I am all for the Dutch reach. I'm all for, if you're driving an automobile and you're parallel parking on a road

and you have an opportunity to open your door and there's a one millionth of a possibility that a bicyclist would be riding his bike by you, when you open the door, you should do the Dutch reach, because we do not want that to happen. We don't want that to happen. Because a bicyclist

and a door do not go together. A sad, sad day. Sad, sad day. The Dutch reach saves lives. Get this thing. Now, I can't do it anymore. seriously just do the Dutch reach I'm all for the bicyclists

not getting hurt and they own the road and all right let's go to the break room I need a drink of Coca Cola Zero sugar oh my gosh I saw some of you tweeting over the weekend asking Coca Cola Zero to become a sponsor

of chewing the fat. Thank you very much and I appreciate it and continue that there's really no reason why they should not be a sponsor. And as we're on our way to the break room, I just wanted to say that I wanted to congratulate, I didn't get an opportunity at the end of last week, but my son, Maximus, who joins me on Talking Walking Dead Monday, by the way, Mondays today, oh my gosh, you get two podcasts today. I mean, you're welcome. Earlier in the day, you get your alert, boop, and that's Talking Walking Dad. And then later in the day, you get your...

We had that. For earlier than that, you get that. Thank you. Oh, that sounds so good. And last night's episode was really good, by the way. So you're going to want to listen to that podcast. But if you don't like Walking Dead, don't worry about it. Just still download it.

Yeah, yeah, that's right. I mean, you want to download it, of course. You don't have to listen to it. And, of course, you want to subscribe to chewing the fat. Duh. You don't have to do anything else. I mean, I know we've asked you to rate and review and share and all that stuff. but most important is subscribing.

And so, you know, after you subscribe, then we're going to ask a little bit more of you because you're a subscriber, duh. And you know the show and you enjoy it and we want you to, you know, tell your friends. You don't even have to tell people that you know or like. You just have to tell people. That's all.

And you could rate and review it. Easy, 20 stars best podcast every year done. Piece of cake. That's all we ask. I have a question. question for this reviewer Sam Wilkinson 5 10 and a half I mean 10 over 5 what is that he put it was a fraction a fraction 10 over 5 okay well thank you I appreciate it I mean you don't have to follow directions of 20 stars best podcast ever and you know Sam obviously

didn't but I mean whatever it's 10 over 5 I'm sure I'm sure This is going to be a mathematical thing that I'm going to hear. Of course, 10 over 5 means this. Stupid. Yeah, I am. I guess I am. Oh, 18. Okay, I guess I am.

Or you could be like Whitney. Follow the rules and put 20 stars, best podcast ever. Thank you. Jeff and Chris make a great team. Well, I mean, that's going above and beyond, actually, of what I asked. Thank you. Thank you, Whitney Garrett. I mean, Whitney isn't 100% correct.

Oh, she is. She said 20 stars. And I know what she said. Right there. If you stop right there, that's where she's perfect. Yeah, but she went above and beyond. This is what you call extra credit. And you get extra credit.

This is also when you fail when you try extra credit a lot of times. Sometimes the extra credit doesn't work out well to your advantage. Oh, I just want to do a little extra. You should have just done what you were told. Really is what should have happened. You know what? I was not going to read this one because it's a little, you know, it could get you upset. But I'm going to read it.

Jay Pace says, love that Jeffie, all 500 pounds. No, no problem. I look, right now I'm at 4.82. You lost some weight. I have. I have lost about 25. So I'm not over five now. So, you know, no problem.

He might have, you know, been listening. He might have wrote that, you know, before I lost the weight. Man, 500 pounds. We've talked about that a lot, but, I mean, you start pushing five, six hundred pounds. You're doing some, you're doing some weight, man. You think the helicopter's pulling you out of a ship at 500 pounds? No. No, no, no, no, no, no.

There's not a chance of that happening. All right, we're here to pick you up, get you off of this thing, make you safe. Oh! Yeah. Ah, no, no, no, no. That's not going to happen. Oh, no, sir. Sorry, but unless this ship hits the ground and stops moving,

there's another rescuer tugboat come along. We're not done at top of this thing. Look, I'm going to wait a next to you, okay? All right. We're done. I mean, holy cow. If you're 500 and 600 pounds, you're not getting air lifted out. It's just not going to happen.

Are they even going to let you in the cruise? Well, I think so. I think cruises have weight limits. They're like these monster ships. And they can't handle a 500-pound guy in there. You probably have to pay for two. No, that's an airplane. Because they have all you can eat, buffets and stuff.

And at 500, ooh. You're doing some distance. You get a stamp on your wrist. You're doing some distance at the all-you-can-eat-a-a-fas on the cruise chips, man. All you can eat is it for you. You get one round. Yeah, all you can eat. But after we close this thing down, doesn't mean you can still sit here.

We're shutting down. When we say we're shutting down, you got to leave. Wait, are we fat-shaming? Yes. Oh, yeah. At 500, 600, 600 pounds, you're definitely getting fat-shamed. Really? And that's okay?

I didn't say it was okay. Oh, okay. That's fine. How dare you? How dare you? I didn't say it was okay at all. Except you're not getting airlifted off of this ship, my friend. Sorry, that's not happening.

And we're not laughing on this helicopter either, but we're not picking your ass up, I'll tell you that. It's not going to happen. Do you know. Anyway, what I was saying to begin with is that I wanted to say congratulations, and I didn't get an opportunity to say congratulations to my son, Maximus, who is, You know, co-hosting on Talking Walking Dead with myself and Jason Buttrill once a week,

got his Eagle Scout award. He is now an Eagle Scout. And that means what? It means he's now an Eagle Scout. And that means what? Congratulations. That means he's now an Eagle Scout. How can I translate that into real world?

He's now an Eagle Scout. The world translates it into you move up on the list of people they look at for jobs. Does it? Yes, it does. Yeah, it does. That's a fact. It's just like you milk things by going into the military. Oh, that goes, that throws further than an Eagle Scout.

But if he wants to go in the military, he jumps ahead of where you started in the military as an Eagle Scout right off the bat. I already had that. So. I already had that on the bag. Oh, you did? Yes. I went into an SE2. How did you do that?

I went to RTC program. There you go. And that's a step, that's a step like the Eagle Project. We'll do that as well. Yeah. I didn't realize that. No, I won't say that. Go for it.

No, no, no, no. You better. Nope. We're in the break room. And? You better say it. We're in the break room. Let's do some headlines.

The headline. Do it in the headline music? Really? Okay. That's, no. That's enough. No. Okay.

That's the entire thing. We're headlines. That's all just our headlines. No. All right. I'm just going to give you the headlines. So I just know that headlines, the reason we don't,

delve into the headlines is because we just don't want to know all the information. We just want to know the headline. Knitting with a repurpose. Woman makes a suit of plastic bags. You don't want to delve into that story. You do not want to delve into that story. Why this woman is making a suit

with plastic bags. Sheep rescued from being tied to a tree in Brooklyn. You don't want to delve into that. You don't. How did the sheep get there? You see what I mean? You don't know. We're not going to, we don't want to know.

police say drunk passenger urinated on luggage during flight you don't want to know well he had to go to the bathroom why would you go to the bathroom you don't want to know you just you just don't you just don't want to know manned manikins to send message to nosy neighbor actually I do that I want to know that one we need to dive in on that one that one that one is fascinating because the neighbor wants to build a new fence all right he wants to build a new fence so he's going to put a new six foot fence up okay and the neighbors get pissed the one neighbor because the one neighbor says now now

The HOA says only three foot, only three feet. So he's already put the six feet fence up. And so is the neighborhood. But this, you know, the guy reported them. So the HOA police have got to show up. And so they say, no, but can't. Right. You know, the HOA police with the fence.

Boop boop. Ah, we're coming in. Come out of the house with your hands up. No, that don't. Just come out of your house with your hands up. I don't have my. I don't know. They just come out.

And so he's already put it up. So he cuts the six foot fence. down to three feet like they're telling me he has to, but he puts up naked mannequins all along the side of his, on his property. That's smart. So the people that didn't want the six foot fence. Now you get to see naked mannequins.

This is what you get. You get naked mannequins and every day I'm going to change their positions. Nice. Whoa. What kind of position? He didn't say that. That was me, but I would. I would change the positions every freaking day.

There you go. That's what you get. poorly named sexual harassment perfume pulled from shelves. What's the name? I know. What do you mean? What's the name? What's a poorly named perfume?

The perfume is sexual harassment. That's what it's poorly named sexual harassment. That's not smart. Are we not supposed to dive into these stories? We're just supposed to read the headlines, I thought. Oh, were you doing headlines? I mean, that's what I thought we were at. You wanted it.

Donnie and Marie Osmond. officially announced the end of long-running Las Vegas show. Oh, that's sad for Donnie and Marie. I mean, they've been doing this show since they were 100 years old. What? Who's them? Donnie and Marie Osmond? Yeah.

Oh, we're done. Turn your mic off. Seriously. Today is the day. Apple is expected to launch its original contact and content streaming video services today. They have their event at 10 Eastern time today. I wonder. Yeah, that's what they were launching.

Yeah, that's what they're launching their original content streaming video services. Yay. Because I know you could get, you could get car karaoke through them already. Now, this isn't going to be like, according to the reports, Apple versus Netflix for their pay-per-view because Apple versus every other third-party selling video subscription services because Netflix is already. Yeah, they're capitalized on that. Go ahead. We're doing you. We're Netflix. Go ahead. You play your little game over there, but we're Netflix. Disney's coming soon as well.

Oh, yeah. They all want to come together. They just purchase Fox, right? You have Netflix, CBS, All Access, Hulu, Amazon Prime Video, YouTube, Premium, HBO, Showtime, Apple, Disney, Warner Media, NBC Universal. I mean, they all want a piece of the Netflix pie, man. That subscription, man. They want it all. And look, um, it's, it's. It's turning into subscription fatigue.

By the time you end up subscribing to all these people, you're paying what you're paying for cable. Or more. Exactly. And you're getting less than you're getting cable. So, yeah, you're not getting live. I mean, you're not getting, you know, you're not bringing you live. Now, some of the streaming platforms do bring you live events,

which Hulu and Roku does do. Roku does too. I've watched a few big events on, Roku that, you know, were major events that I wanted to see live that you could watch. My question to you is, what do you subscribe to? Right now? Too many.

That's what I'm saying. I want to see what do you subscribe to? Too many. Well, Netflix, of course. Hulu. Well, Roku's a free thing. We don't necessarily, you know, that's part of the main platform.

But I have bought, I do have, well, I purchased Roku devices. So, yeah, I mean, I bought that, right? I've paid them for that. HBO You pay extra for that? Yeah. Through who? I think through Hulu.

I'm not. Same here. I'm not sure. Either way. Either way. Because I wanted to. Not missing Game of Thrones. It's coming soon.

April, right? Yeah. I'm not missing the Game of Thrones. It's not going to happen. Plus, the only thing that concerned me was, was there was some kind of thing that concerned me and my wife said,

don't worry about it. From the HBO thing because I was like, well, just get it from HBO then. It's going to be a something. Oh, it's going to be an issue, yeah. But I think it's not. I don't remember what it was now, what that issue was. If I think of it, I'll tell you,

because there was something I thought of originally. I was like, no, no, no, don't go through Hulu if this is going to happen. Oh, I know what it was. Because Hulu only lets you watch one device. Yeah, one device at a time, yeah. No. And so if that, if the HBO, is through Hulu, but it sticks to the one device thing?

I do. No, no, no, no. No, no. We'll just pay HBO separate. So you got the HBO separate. Well, as far as I can tell, that's what she said. My wife, as far as I can tell through Hulu, it's still HBO is a separate thing.

You're getting it through Hulu, but if you launch the HBO app, you're still getting it through HBO, not Hulu. Hulu, so I'm not sure what... Oh, that's weird, yeah. I'm not sure what the deal is there, but if I launch... Yeah, but as far as I know right now, that's not going to be an issue, because that pisses me off with Hulu. Because I get my HBO free through AT&T.

Okay, yeah. Yeah, so that's one of the perks. But is it, you know, again, is it free? No, AT&T is paying for that. Yes, exactly. You're paying for it when we're another. So I'm trying to think, do I pay for, no, I don't pay for CBS. Showtime?

No, showtime. No, showtime. Some of those channels, some of those channels, if you log on to your cable company's app, you're able to view some items, not all, not all, but you are able to view some items on those separate channels through your cable company's app. Not the cable company themselves, but if you go in through the app, you have to go the back way. You can still catch some of them, not all of them, but you still do get some. My mom has Spectrum, and I'm using her login to have live TV over here, but I only get certain channels. I don't get all the channels.

Now, that's illegal. I know. Boop-p-whoop. I hope that happens soon. In Animal News today, on Friday, we got news that in Illinois, a truck carrying three. thousand piglets overturns. 3,000 pigs running

around the highway in Illinois. I mean, that is blocking some traffic. That's doing some distance for you. I-70 out of St. Louis shared a photo of the truck. They warned motorists of course. I mean, they had it shut down. The piglets

some piglets made it out there running around all over the highway, sliding down in the ditches everywhere. Unbelievable. Now, the police obviously take their pictures and ha ha ha, ha, their customers are hamming it up this morning. But if I'm driving, if I have to take I-70 in the morning, I do not want 3,000 piglets running around the highway.

Ain't nobody got time for that? The beloved sea lion at the San Francisco Zoo, I could start crying right now. The sea lion was once rescued from a gunshot wound to the face. They brought it back to life and raised it at the zoo. it's been blind it's a blind sea line for gosh sacks got shot in the face

they brought it back to life it passed away finally at the zoo I mean the sea line was looking for death thank you I mean really the sea line was like oh dear Lord please death come to me I'm blind

I have a bullet wound in my face and they want me to be nice and perform for these people at the zoo please death come come to me please It says 2010. I mean, it's been like nine years. Oh, dear Lord.

Dear God, please. Please, death come to me. So it finally did. His prayers were finally answered. And sad news out of Dallas, Texas, actually Irving, Texas, which we are broadcasting from here at the Mercury Studios. A lady had her pit bulls at a clinic. And they had to be there. They had to go in a clinic because they were quarantined.

They had bit somebody in the neighborhood. all right so they were quarantined because they wanted to see if they had rabies so she goes to feed them on Saturday and the clinic yeah go feed your dogs and after a little while the people at the clinic are like did she ever come back in now we don't know what happens so they go look the dogs are biting they killed her the dogs attacked it's not funny stop laughing I mean she's out back the dogs are attacking her, they call the police, the dogs won't stop attacking her, the police come, they got to shoot the dogs.

Even to, even to kill up and see if the lady's still alive. I mean, okay, so the dogs are bad dogs if they're in trouble. Maybe somebody at the clinic, I don't know. Keeps half an eye. The clinic's like, yeah, go ahead.

Go feed your stupid dogs. Hour and a half later, she ever come back in? Whatever happened to her? She was out there feeding her dogs. I don't know. I'll go look. Holy cow. And the dogs. I mean, that's sad. Sad. Dude. She's ladies of moms. Stop laughing. I don't know why your laugh is not even funny. It's not. It's not funny. I don't know why your people are laughing.