Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep. 61 | Can You Be Without Your Smartphone for an Entire Year? | Guest: Andrew Heaton

Episode Date: December 13, 2018

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So a little inside baseball. As I'm sitting here preparing, which is a, I mean, really just kind of looking over some stuff for my podcast chewing the fat, I have an opportunity to watch and listen the recording of something's off with Andrew Heaton. And I was today not different doing the same thing. And I wanted to bring Andrew in because Andrew I was watching today. Thank you. You embarrassed yourself and you embarrassed me. and you couldn't hear when I was screaming at you from this room to your room to fix it. I think I actually didn't hear some screaming at one point.

That was you? Yes. Is this because I don't wear pants during broadcasts? No, I don't care about that. Who wears pants? Stop it. Why would you do you lose a war? I mean, look at this.

Yeah. I mean. It's a very nice speedo, Jeff. Thank you. My mom said, listen. It's a very patriotic speedo. I haven't seen an American flag speedo in a while. It's a smaller version.

The, so I'm watching you record. And you're going to your guest, who is the host of Lost in America. Lost America, Turner Sparks. And you introduced him by saying, coming to America. I did. Yes. And, of course, that is like America's, I mean, that's one of the best movies of all time. I agree.

No question. I agree. Well, you agree. And yet, you said on the air, embarrassed, this is where you embarrass yourself and me, and the network. Oh, my. And Blaze Media. I mean, everyone is embarrassed. And in the country.

You happen to say that coming to America was with Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd. Yes. Oh, no. I was thinking of trading places. That's correct. Oh, my God. Now, and you can't. I mean, apologies.

We do accept apologies now. Can I just cancel the podcast? I mean, no. It is way too late of that. Right. So I just want to make sure. sure that you're aware. And I'm from the 80s.

I was born then. I've seen those films. What was I? Whatever excuses you have now. I'm going to take some of that ginko biloba and some of those other supplements, see if I can't get back on my game. I would definitely up the dosage. Oh, man.

Yeah. Okay. Thank you for, oh, thank you for pointing that out to me. I'm going to sound like quite the fool on my podcast. I mean, we're done now. Yeah. Okay. All right.

Thank you, Jeffrey. Okay. Welcome to Chew to Food to Fat. With, uh, yeah, me. Jeff Fisher. Thank you for coming along for the ride today. I appreciate it. Don't forget you have one day left for your opportunity to win a scout elf.

And win the dog, the new dog. And we've got some movies. And this is just to make Chris mad. We've got the scout elves to give away. We've got the St. Bernard to give away. We've got some movies to give it. We've got music. We got all kinds.

We got the plethora of things from the scout elf. company from Alf on a shelf people to give away. All you need to do is tweet a picture of how you're going to make a good home for the Scout Elf to me at Jeff EMRA, at Chris Cruz, and hashtag it chewing the fat, hashtag Scout Elf. We'll pick the winners tomorrow. You will be, you will hear if you won tomorrow on this podcast. Okay. And we will alert you on what you need to do if you win.

Yeah, we see you, Jacob Smathers. We see you, beautiful family. Barry, we see you, but we're concerned about the picture you tweeted at us. Oh, yeah, the torture. Yes, we see you. We're looking for a nice home. Yes. Torture does not sound like a good home.

No. Patriotic pudding, we see you. Love, that's Connor, seven-year-old Connor from Ohio. We see you. An epic one, we see you. You say you have a tiny home with an attic that serves as a bedroom. and a master bedroom where my lovely girlfriend sleeps with her dog in a queen-sized bed.

Wait. Yes. Okay, go ahead. Hold on, he gets better. So his girlfriend sleeps with the dog in a queen-sized bed instead of me. And her two wonderful boys who wake me up at 5 a.m. without a fail every morning. Hashtag Shunda fat, hashtag Scout Elf. Who sent that?

This is Epic one. Epic, we need to talk. Yes, we do. You need to see. You and I need to have a conversation. I think we need to have like a... There sounds almost like epic one needs an intervention. Yes.

You know, two married men. Jeffrey's been married for 100-something years. I've been married three months. I mean, that's total time married. That's not just the one person. No, no, no, that's total time. Yes, yes, that's total time. What, what, six wives?

This one is... She's coming close. She knows. Yes. She knows, too. It's that time. It is. Yeah, I just got mine.

And I have some issues, too, Jeffrey. I think we should do a podcast, a Saturday podcast, and kind of air our grievances, and I think we'll be good to go. Because it has some issues with my wife. I think it's... Already. Already. Three months in.

I'm with Epic One right now. So maybe we do like an intervention. You're sleeping in the other room? She's the wife's sleeping with the dog? Yeah. Dude. Yeah. Come to think with though, that's not her fault.

Now that I break this whole story down a little bit. As we feel another layer of the onion off. So we take the elevator down to another level. Yeah, but that's not a bad idea. We'll get some people get their numbers and we'll talk to them and have a little intervention, a little cry session and a little bit session. A Saturday, a Saturday help podcast chewing the fat. I like that.

I like that. Now listen, as you know, this isn't, you know, politics and politics and news and everything else day-to-day news. But there are some threats right now across the country. And whenever time you're listening to this, just know that it is about 2 o'clock, 3 o'clock in the afternoon Eastern right now. And at this time, there are various threats to businesses and other schools, businesses, and even, and even, who the hell threaten zoos?

and a person threatens us. Stop it. Leave the zoos alone. But there are threats out there and the police are actively checking into it. But as of right now at this time, they're talking about states New York, Massachusetts, Tennessee, Oklahoma, Kentucky, Louisiana, Florida, Iowa, Michigan, Utah, California, and Mississippi. And the list does keep growing. I'm not going to read you what the stupid email says. That'll be all over or the responses. just know that, you know, just say a prayer that what's being reported is not true.

It's not a very funny prank, but let's just hope that it is. All right. All right, let's move on. Let's get to the day because I've got a way that I'm going to make a hundred grand, and I'm going to do it. I tell you, they better pick me. They freaking better pick me. Who?

Every day I say I'm going to. I want to host, want to host the Oscars. Do they get back to me? No. No. They've stooped so low as to accept. They made a story,

a story about Whoopi Goldberg saying, oh, I'll do it for you, but my background is pretty good. Now, Whoopi's got, and Whoopi's an Egot holder, which is, you know. Fantastic. Is it?

Whatever. She was, we went over Whoopi already, the preview days. I got it. But I offered way before Whoopi. Do I get a story nationally? No.

I nominated you. Thank you. And then you were the one that told me I didn't, couldn't get the job. So was the nomination real or you were just not real? This way. All right. So now I want this company to pick me, vitamin water. All right.

First of all, let me just say I love vitamin water. There's no other drink that I drink. I know a lot of times you see what looks like appears to be a Coke Zero can next to me. It's actually vitamin water in the can. Yeah, because I don't like vitamin water, people look at you, you know, like, ooh, Jeffie's drinking vitamin water? What kind of freak are you? But they expect me to be drinking Coke Zero. Really, though?

It's vitamin water. I'm sorry? Vitamin water and Coke is the same company. Why am I? You're welcome. You're welcome. I should be sporting the vitamin water, though you're right. And I will.

I'll drink vitamin water. I'll put the vitamin water shirt on. I'll wear the vitamin water exercise, spandex pants. Maybe I won't go that far. I'll wear the vitamin water shoes. Whatever you want. Okay. But they're saying that they're going to have the

2019 phone-free challenge. All right? Vitamin Water has asked if customers would turn off their phones for a year in exchange for $100,000 cash. Dear Vitamin Water, I'm your man. I'm your man. Now, according to Vitamin Water's website, entering the contest is easy. You just share on Instagram or Twitter what you would do.

Instead of scrolling on your phone with the hashtags, hashtag no phone for a year, hashtag contest. The entries for the contest are open until January 8th of 2019. After collecting the responses, vitamin water will choose a participant. So one person, they're not choosing, they aren't giving four or five people an opportunity. One person gets a shot. they will choose a participant who will then trade their smartphone for a numbers calling only mobile device. So you're giving them the smartphone and they're actually giving you a phone that will dial out. So, you know, for emergencies or you want to talk to someone on the phone, they're not taking the phone away from you.

What they're taking from you is the smartphone looking, you know, social media, emails. If the participant makes it for six months, they get 10 grand. if they make it for 12 months they'll be gifted with $100,000 I can do this I can freaking do this it would be now I guess I have to play along like I can't do it

this would be very difficult the first couple weeks would be pretty hard actually no question because I did this past weekend we went to grapevine you know to see Santa and do the Christmas thing with my wife's grandkid

and all my kids and everybody running around I'm sorry who's grand kid My wife's grandkid. Not your grand kid. Oh, well. It's your wife's grandkid. Yeah. Okay.

My kid has a kid that's my wife's grandkid. It's a pretty basic family tree stuff. Okay. I go, we go down there and I left my phone at home. I left, I did leave my smartphone at home. It was a little shaky. I was a little shake because I had some tweets in drafts that I was going to send. There were some stuff I wanted to take.

a couple pictures of an Instagram as weird, you know, walking grapevine, you know, hit some social media stuff. I wanted to, you know, I had a couple of things. I wanted a couple of NFL scores I wanted to keep up on and stuff like that that you used to being able to do that you can't. Ooh, that was a long Sunday afternoon. How many hours were you without it? Oh, wait, you couldn't keep track because you didn't have a phone.

Right. Wow. How many keep time? You can't. Wow. I didn't even know what time it was. Actually, you know what? I didn't know what time was when we left.

We were walking back to where we parked. We walked by a restaurant that had, it was a restaurant bar, so they had a couple TVs on, and one of the games that I wanted to keep track of was on, so I stopped. And some guy came out, and as he opened the door, you could see a clock inside the restaurant. And I was like, whoa, it's getting late.

It's getting late. I can't believe I've lasted two whole hours. It was more, it was longer than that. But it would be a struggle for the first little bit. But after, I think once you get past that, you know, the shakes and you get through that original withdrawal. Is that a drug? Oh, yeah, it is.

You think so? Oh, it's a drug. Is it worse than a drug or is it like a drug? I don't know. It'd probably, it'd be close. Hmm. That'd be good to study. It'll be close because you're going to go through some withdrawals.

No question you are. The vitamin water offered a small guide to participate. If texting is a pleasant experience, you can go on the internet. Obviously, we all, you know, we have other internet accesses. They're just telling you give up the smartphone. So, and you can't be using other people's smartphones. Okay. Now you can use, like obviously, I have a tablet and I have, you know, I wonder if you're able to,

like if my wife shows me pictures all the time, but she uses her phone. wonder if that counts. So you can go to their website and look at the rules. But they also say, for those that are tempted to cheat, and they say those, which is really, I mean, that's just a story. So if you're tempted to cheat, at the end, there's going to be a lie detector test to make sure you're truly unplugged. That is fascinating.

That is fascinating. So do you know how angry I would be if I unplugged for 12 months for $100,000 and then the lie detector test showed me wrong? Vitamin water and I would have a battle. However, I'm willing to do it. Now, the problem is that what I would like to do is share the whole giving up the smartphone thing on all the social media accounts. So the only way that I could do that is, you know, post it from my phone. And they're not going to allow that to happen. But vitamin water, call me.

Having lived in Florida for many years, I know that Gibsonton, Florida, just out since Tampa Bay, Greater Tampa Bay, is the home of carnival workers. That's where they used to winter. They would come. So there were plenty of carnies around Tampa Bay during the winter. And then it happened to, you know, it was a lifelong obsession. And there were plenty of, I remember Lobster Boy doing a TV show and because he was a lobster man. And then he got charged with murder. There was all kinds of.

It was a big Carney. Yeah, yeah. Lobster boy. Tell me you don't even. What kind of anti-carney person are you? So this story out of Arkansas. It's fascinating because they make it believe like it's not true. They try to pretend like something isn't true.

And I'm here to tell you it's true. So three carnival workers have been charged with capital murder. They killed a couple at a Kansas fair. The horrible story. And then they drove the couple in their own vehicle to Arkansas and buried them in shallow graves in this state park. So, and then, but Kansas Attorney General said 52-year-old Kimberly Younger from McIntosh, Florida, 54-year-old Michael Fowler from Sarasota, and 35-year-old Rusty Frazier from Aransas Pass, Texas. I'm not really, never been to Aransas Pass, Texas.

Aransas? It's got to be Aransas. Aransas Pass, Texas. They're jailed out a million-dollar bond. All right. Now, Alfred and Sunny Carpenter, Alfred Sunny Carpenter and Pauline Carpenter, the witch from Wichita, had been selling crafts and jewelry, purses, hand-made stuff at the fair in Barton County, Kansas.

Investigators believe the carnival workers used the couple's recreational vehicle. Yeah, they drove the bodies back there. Okay, so police and Arkansas said that younger texted the other suspects posing as a carnival mafia boss named Frank Zetchik and ordered him to kill the customers or the carpenters and dispose of the bodies. Fowler told investigators that he believed this was an initiation into the carnival mafia. Now, the Van Buren police spokesman, Jonathan Ware, when asked in his email, hey, is the Carnival Mafia, does the Carnival Mafia even exist?

Jonathan Ware replied definitely made up. Mr. Ware from the spokesperson for the Van Buren Police Department think again. The Carnival Mafia is something that we all

should be aware of. Do not mess. Don't mess with the Carnival Mafia. I don't even really like to be called Carnie Mafia. I mean, if you're going to refer to them, you refer to them as the Carnival Mafia. And I don't even know if the Carnival Mafia is responsible for this or not.

But this happens, I want to say more than it happens, I got to look it up. Now, we have to look it up and see, this happens more than I think people want to believe. An armored truck opened up and cash was flying all over the place.

It happened in New Jersey. Traffic was all backed up. People were running around trying to pick up cash. Caused multiple crashes. The armored truck was spilling cash out along Route 3. How come this never happens to me? Why? Why does it not happen to me?

I watch those armored trucks drive by all the time. I'm waiting for that door to open and start cash, start. flying out of it. Now there were $100 bills flying everywhere. People were grabbing the money as fast as they could. Very dangerous, too, because you're on the highway and you're out there trying to stop in the middle of traffic, trying to pick up $100 bills. It's amazing that people would do that.

I understand. I understand the feeling. You see $100 bills floating in the air flying by. you want to get out. In one of the videos, you see a black sedan where this guy is on his hood and the hood smashed in, the airbag is deployed. It's amazing. But they don't know what caused the armored truck to open or have the money start flying around. They don't know how much money was lost.

he believes that Richard said people on her bus felt bad for the armored truck driver and said it was Christmas for some and the loss of a job for another right no way that driver still has a gig no way

Texas is actually on fire these days I mean we find out that Apple is moving to spending a billion to build a new joint down in Austin Have you, have you been to Austin lately? Every time I go down there, my son, my oldest son lives down in that neck of the woods. And I mean, they are, you think it's building here in DFW? I mean, Austin is on fire, man. There are cranes and construction crews.

If you need a job, if you need a job in America today, and you come to me and say, I can't find a job, you aren't looking. you can come to Texas and find a job I mean you can work If you go down to Austin you walked out of the street Need help? Yeah, and you're working I mean I don't see how I've gotten You know how many jobs I've gotten that way in my life?

A lot. A lot. Need help? Yeah, okay. Come on. One radio station job I got I walked up to the radio station I was going to see about getting a job there

The guy was loading the van. I just grabbed a speaker and started helping him load the van and talk to him. I started working there next Saturday afternoon. I mean, you're just, you're not, you're doing something wrong if you can't find a job in America. Today, I know that you're talking about, the economy, the economy's booming. And you go down to Austin, Texas, so you can't find a job. If you can come to the state of Texas and you can't find a job, there's a problem.

There's more of a problem than just you not being able to find a job. I mean, we talked about Apple, another billion building in Amazon, our building in Austin. Amazon is coming to Fort Worth more than they already are choosing the Alliance Airport for their air hub, which is going to be more jobs. It's also going to be more airplanes flying over the metroplex, which means that they're going to be flying over my home. I don't know how crazy you have about that. Bad move, Amazon. Bad move. Bad move.

What's that? I can still call my trailer home. It's still home. No, it is not. It's a trailer. It's a home. Home is where the heart is. It doesn't matter whether it's a laundry box.

It doesn't matter whether it's a television box or a trailer that you worked hard at and you've got it up. So it looks like it's not on wheels. And, you know, but you can pull that thing away anytime. Whenever they start coming after you, that thing pulls away. But it's still home. I didn't say, I'm not trying to. claim I have a house. That's for people with money.

Yeah, houses, man. You ever live in a trailer? I actually almost moved into a trailer park once. I never have. My aunt and uncle had a place in Florida, a vacation home in Florida that was a double wide with a big porch around and everything. That thing was nice.

It was freaking nice. There's a lot of room in that bad boy, but still a trailer. That's the place that had the Carney guy lived next door. Speaking of Carnies, that's the place. This guy retired. He retired. How far off am I from Texas is booming and getting a job? So I'm talking about my aunt and uncle's double-wide trailer in Lakeland, Florida.

And then next door to them was a guy who had a hot dog deep frying, hot dogs, anything deep fried. He had his little wagon at the fairs, and that's what he did for a living. And he had the wagon in his backyard. He's retired. The wheels were off it. But every time we would come,

he would open up the windows, and he'd deep fry stuff for us. I mean, you want to talk about living large. Come on. You kids get that. I miss being at the fairs. Come here, talk to me. And you just sit there and eat until you were sick.

It was so good. You know, that's kind of a problem, isn't it? I mean, for a lot of years, I was just a little kid then. Even then, I was just eating until I was sick. Eating fried, deep-fried hot dogs and whatever he wanted to deep-fry, put in front of me, I was eat. Weird. Anyway, where was I?

Oh, yeah, Texas, home trailer. I never, and I almost lived in a trailer, where I was at. I almost lived in a trailer part because I looked at a trailer and I thought, you know, why not? Why not? Because it was in a, you know, a gated community. And, you know, in the round.

And I go check out this trailer and it just wasn't right. You know, it was all beat up. It was an older model, but it was pretty cheap. I came close to pulling the trigger on it. I mean, deciding. Can't use that. That's a horrible, horrible phrase to use it today. World pull the trigger.

I came close to deciding to live in that trailer, and then I found an actual building, an actual building to live in. But I could actually, I could live in a trailer. It's not a mood to be. It's not a bad thing. I had another friend of mine had two trailers.

He had one trailer, really a brand new one, single wide, brand new one. And then behind it was an old airstream. And then what he did is he put a, screened-in porch between them over the over the over the middle so he had like this big screened-in porch area with the roof so it was almost it was like this you know it was a complex of trailers and it was it's kind of cool actually are we done with my my trailer stories i mean i've got some more probably i can come up with that was done a long time ago

the one thing that a lot of double-wines don't have are fireplaces And they don't put a lot of fireplaces in the trailers. And there's a reason for that, I understand. But I love fires. And I remember, you know, we had a big old metal Ben Franklin fireplace in our family room and then a built-in brick fireplace in the living room when I was growing up. It was so nice. And I remember when they first started coming out with the three-hour burning logs.

And they were told you couldn't put them in the metal. Fireplaces people had those fake little thin metal fireplaces in their basements and stuff because those three hour burning logs burn so hot that they couldn't be in the metal So you had to if you were gonna use those you had to put them in the in the brick fireplaces which were nice for us because you could put those in the living room and they would just burn and then you'd use the wood in the in the Ben Franklin in the family room Well now there's a way for you to enjoy fires and still have that beautiful, wonderful aroma of KFC. I mean to tell you, if you want your house smelling like KFC, you can get it by ordering the KFC fire-scented log.

This is amazing. I don't know that I want my house smelling like KFC. What? The KFC 11 herbs and spices fire log. I don't think I want my house smelling like that. I do. It smells delicious. 11 spices and herbs.

It's so cool. It's environmental friendly. What are you? It was this a sales pitch for the KFC fire log? Yes. Yes, I am. And I'm a little upset because we try to buy one for our fireplace here at the chewing. You did not.

What? We tried to buy one. We did not try to buy one. We tried to, as a collective here in Chew and Chew in Fat Podcast, we try to buy one for the studios, to Chew and the Fat Fireplace, and they're sold out. That kind of pisses me off, actually. Yeah.

When you tried to order it? Because it wasn't we. When you tried to order it, he was ordering it for the we, but he ordered it. Why would they advertise something that's out of stock? KFC. You know people are going to buy your stupid fire logs. They have some product.

And why are you making a limited amount? Right. Just go into the end of the year. Come on. You want my money. So this is their payments and orders fulfilled by Envirolog Incorporated. Quality one, five pound fried chicken sent in fire log. Limit one per customer.

What? Yeah, that's BS. One per customer? No. No, stop it. One per customer. It takes $1 per customer. Five days to get here.

Put it up on Amazon and get it here. I want it dropped to my front door tomorrow. I don't even want one of these stupid things that I want it at my front door tomorrow. I love their disclaimers too. Each fire log can burn up to 2.5 to 3 hours. That's not bad to burn. That's a good burn. Can be stored and there's no shelf life.

Store in a safe dry area away from pets. May result in craving for fried chicken. We know the fire log smells great, but please do not attempt to eat it. may attract bears or neighbors who are hungry. Please don't put face directly into fire an attempt to smell fried chicken. You know the people have done that. You know people have done number three and number five. People have done that.

That's why they have to put that in there. Yes. Because people already try to eat the log as is burning or put their face so close that they're like babies butt on their face. I don't know if they tried to eat it well as burning. They tried to probably get their face really close to smell it. They probably tried to eat it as like a snack bar. That's my KFC chicken snack bar It's a fire log

So 1899 Includes tax shipping and handling That's not bad $18 for that That's not bad though Think about it 19 bucks That's not bad for one freaking fire log

Yes Taxes and shipping and handling Already included So what shipping is You know Two bucks Handling is usually like $599

Subtrack that is $10 Yeah So you're looking at $2 dollar $2. That meant America. What the hell? I don't want to have my house smell like KFC though.

You were telling me something about a bagel shop? I lived. At one point I lived in an apartment above a bagel shop. And, you know, that first little while is good. Delicious. After a little while, after you're done with that first little while, you're really tired of smell of bagels. But didn't you get, like, used to us? Did not smell it anymore?

Not really. Really? No, not really. It goes, because by the end of the day, it starts to fade, so you're okay at night. You know, it's okay. And it's gone. Although we, at that time, I was living in that apartment, we were burning other things. So we took a little bit of the edge off of the bagel smell.

But that's why we were living in a cheap-ass apartment above a bagel shop, okay? but in the morning time, you know, they get there and they start firing up the old bagel machines, you know, by about 4.35 o'clock in the morning, they're starting to fire up the old bagel machines and you've got that, you know, the full bagel smell is on by that time.

That's why you needed to, you know, be passed out by the time they get there in the morning. It was in kind of a restaurant district because behind us, behind our apartment was this kind of fancy restaurant that used to be a bank and they called it the bank. And we were on the second floor.

And so the cooks and the cleaners and the busboys and stuff would all come out of the alley to smoke and hang out and sit there on their brakes and stuff. We used to trade them substance for crab legs. And we ate like kings. We ate like kings. It was so good. Ah, well, enough of memory road.

I see the headlines today, you know, making the rounds on the socials. At Jeff E.MRA, Jeff Fisher Radio on Facebook and Instagram. And I want to thank you for listening to Chewing the Fat, by the way. If you subscribe, please rate and review it. I'm not telling you what to do, but just be, you know, rate at 20 stars, review it, best podcast ever. Then, you know, you're done. You don't have to think about it after that. But I do like the idea.

that if you are going to tweet at us, make sure you use the hashtag Chewing the Fat. That'd be great. So we can, you know, we can communicate with you back on that. And if you have any information that you'd like to keep private, you can always email me,

Chewing the Fat at the Blaze.com. So this story is hard to make the red rounds. Everybody is, uh, what? That was so creepy, dude. What do you mean? Don't do that. What? That was creepy.

You can contact me at Chorne the fat at the blaze.com. That's creepy. Don't do that. I just wanted people to know that if they had something that was private. See, right there, right there.

That's creepy. I just want to let them know. Okay, do it again? I want to let them know that if they had something that was private. See, right there, right there. They could email me, chewing the fat at the blaze.com.

But then you go back to normal. What are you talking about normal? It was creepy when you say private. I just, I wanted people to know that they can email me at chewing the fat at the blaze.com if there was anything they needed to share that was private. See, right there.

Right there, you did it, right there. No, I was just talking to the people. It must be my headphones then. It must be, because it makes my headphones and something makes you sound creepy when you say private. Might be just your headphones. Or it might be just me.

Could be just me. I mean, I'm just telling people, that's all. Okay. I don't know what you're, why you're so hung up on creepy, I was just telling people if they had something private that they wanted to send me,

I could. All right, get it. Move on. Dude. I can't stop now. Move on. I can't. I know.

Move on. We're like at 38 minutes in this podcast alone. Move on. I can't. Please. Well, I started to move on. I was in the middle of it. Oh, so now's my fault.

Yes. Because I was in the middle of doing a story, promoting the podcast, promoting social media, promoting a way to contact the show, and then back into the story. you again. Same thing, all in one. And then you got a butt in with your nose creepy. Don't do that. It's not creepy. That gets me sidetracked. See, I don't like when you do my voice. I don't sound like that. You do my headphones. It must be my headphones. That's how I sound. Yeah. There you go.

I can't. A. First of all. Okay. First of all, I'm not doing you because I don't do silly foreign accents. So anyway, today, I'm making the social media. Actually, sadly, I do, and it's, that's why I don't do them. A Chinese factory worker has survived, being skewered with metal spikes when a robot malfunctioned. Now, there's a couple of things I have in question about this story, but I really probably should just, this is a fascinating story to me, and I really should actually just read the story before I start talking about it. Because some of the, I know it comes as a a surprise to you, but some stories I read the headline, and then I get into the story here

on the podcast. But this story, I actually feel like I should read before we talk about it. So the podcast is pausing now while Jeff reads the story. We've paused the podcast. While Jeff momentarily reads a story, your listenership is very important to us. Please hold. This is where most places take a message. Say they're going to call you back. not doing that. Have you noticed the places are doing that now?

They let you unhold for so long and leave you hanging for so long you're just about ready to hang up. That's why you can't hang up anymore. They figured us out. So just as the break point of you hanging up, you've had enough of their please tell us here,

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So this worker does not look good at all. I mean, the picture of this guy with the spikes in him, it does not. He's lucky to be alive. He truly is like me alive. But the headlines. is factory robot impales worker with 10 foot long steel spikes

with after horror malfunction. Now, what do you get from that? I get that these spikes were 10 feet long. And that's a big-ass robot. But actually, it's 10 foot-long steel spikes. So there's a picture of who I assume is this guy because there's six spikes sticking out of them. but I only see six

I don't see four other holes really and I know I'm not even using the other hole jokes that I could but there's no spike holes and then there's another picture of the 10 skewers that were removed so I guess my boy did have 10 in

they that does not look good man I mean to tell you he was first taken to the hospital before he was transferred to another hospital. They took him to one hospital and they went, ooh, not here. Do. Go to the general. Go to the general one. You need to go to the big one up the road. Yeah. This is Midland. Go to the general.

We do flus. We do a flus. Here's a mask. Here's a mask. They got a cough. That's what we do here. We're not doing spikes. Okay. You've got to go. So they set him to the big hospital. And six steel rods fixed on a steel plate, pierced his right shoulder and chest and four penetrated elsewhere in his body. So the six were seeing but they were all coming from the other direction. He must have hit the

six and then turned around. Oh yeah, but that's what happened. The six we're seeing now around his left middle back and his left arm. So he must have those six I don't know if they happened one at a time.

You're like or three or four. because it looks like six, and then he probably turned around and got the other four. He's lucky to be alive. It looks like when Indiana Jones tries to go to like those caves and just those booby traps and the spikes come up. Yeah.

That's how it looks like. That's why I thought they were 10 feet long spears. So I don't think it was AI. I think it was who's trying to find the cup of, what is it that? Indiana Jones trying to find the cup of longevity. Yeah, that's what it is. It's the cup of longevity. That's what he's looking for.

Yeah. It's the tea of life is what Indiana Jones is looking for. Jesus. I can't. I can't. So they couldn't do x-rays or anything because of the metal rods, right? They stick them in. It's like putting them in a microwave.

Mm-mm. Dead. His condition is described as stable, and he will undergo treatment. No kidding. And he was already able to move his right arm. His right arm didn't even get freaking. Oh, it's his right arm. Did I say left arm?

Yeah, I'm in his right arm. It's done his right side and left side. I'm looking at the picture backwards. Duh. He was inspecting machinery in an area where components were assembled with the robot caught him by surprise and then just started firing these things. Amazing.

Last year, construction worker miraculously survived after he was electrocuted, thrown from his workstation and then impaled through the anus by a four foot. This place is a dangerous place to work. So the 22-year-old man was part of a team that was setting up the stationary robot

at a Volkswagen plant when it grabbed and crushed him against a metal plate. Ooh. That is not good. And I know the jokes are all that robots are taking, they're pressing us,

they're taking over, they're going to kill us. They may actually, with the two stories that we did, this guy and the other guy, the other person that was electrocuted, and the other person that had the rod up the anus, the robustness would be seeing how much they can, how many times they can hurt us without killing us,

putting us to the test. And I know now is the time that everyone sees Santa Claus. And I told you that I was out seeing Santa Claus with my wife's grandchild this past weekend. And you see Santa and you have fun and you meet the kids. And it's usually at a mall. And you either make an appointment or not. If you don't have a point,

me, stand in line, wait around until they're ready to see you. And as children lined up to meet the Santa at a mall in St. Ives in the United Kingdom, this is not happening in America. We only fight, Santa's only fight to the streets in America. You don't do bad things around kids. All of a sudden, the fire alarm went off, and the kids were in line. Santa got all upset and began shouting and swearing at shoppers were tearing off his hat and beard.

The fire alarm's going off. Santa's ripping off his fake beard, his fake hair. Get the F out! The smoke machine and a family that they had the fire alarm was going off. A smoke machine set off was what set it off. And it began freaking everybody out. And the Santa instead of saying, kids follow me let's time to get out of here follow sandin to be safe get the f out

taking off his beard oh man I bet you parents were so bad the guy dressed a cent at the corn exchange is an absolute disgrace came charging in ripped his hat and beard off in front of 50 kids and started shouting and swearing one mother who wished to remain anonymous told the the Cambridgeshire live website, Santa used the most vile language ripping off his hat and beard with steam literally coming from his ears. I'm not sure why he was so cross,

noting that one of her friends' children became very upset when Santa told him to get the F out. It'll be okay, baby. Don't worry about it. The mother quickly told the children that the angry man wasn't the real, Santa. Thank you. Fake Santa. I hate fake Santas. Real Santa would have helped those kids out.

You know, I don't know if you've ever, see, this is what happens to me. But we went to see Santa Claus. I'm trying to remember if it was in Florida or Pennsylvania. One of the states I was living in. You know, the kids were real, kids were real little, so it must have been Florida. We go to see Santa. And it's part of a radio station thing. So we're there for the arrival of Santa Claus. and Santa Claus is coming. It's the first day. It's the first night. Santa Claus comes on his sleigh.

And, you know, he takes pictures with the kids and everything, but it's a big radio station, VIP event. And, you know, the mall is part of it. And it's all, let's go. And we're going to go see Santa Claus. And he's really cool Santa Claus. And Mrs. Claus was there, who was actually really his wife, the real Mrs. Claus.

And we're in line. And, you know, we're halfway through the evening. and kids are taking pictures and everything and it was a cool event. And this other guy comes up who is a fake Santa, only not in a Santa suit. He's got his jeans and a shirt on,

but he comes up and he's got his long white hair and, you know, his beard, and he is another Santa. And I thought Mrs. Claus was going to have a freaking heart attack. She about pulled him by his beard and drug him through the side store, drug him out back.

She came back a few minutes later, and she was like, that cannot be. He was there to see the other Santa. You know, they were, obviously, they're in the Santa Mafia. So they all know each other. They all have their own little Santa Mafia, so they all know, all know each other. But she was such a believer in saying that, you know,

that confuses the kids when, I don't know what he was thinking. I don't know why he would do that. And she was, it was fascinating to watch because Santa was, you know, he's taking pictures and he's doing his thing. And he kind of looked up and he had a look on his face like, what? What the hell are you doing here? And I'd like to take you outside right now and have one of my reindeer stop on your head. Instead, Mrs. Claus grabbed him by the beard and drug him off.

But there's a, now there's a fine example, though, of even fake Santas can have real beers and real. here, unlike the guy from the United Kingdom who's fake beard, fake hair, fake suit, telling kids to get the F-A, a little smoke and fire alarm happens, he loses his control. That's the mall trying to put one over on you with a fake Santa. Amazing. Isn't Santa supposed to say, ho, ho, ho? Get the F out!