Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 66 | NASA Needs YOU Ladies, Dying Animals & Daddy's Little Toy

Episode Date: April 3, 2019

Jeffy brings you the news from the water cooler that includes shark and horse heads. NASA needs females for a study and careful someone could be STALKING you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So I told this story this morning on Pat Unleashed. I'm watching the show with my wife. And it's one of the newer TV shows that are out there on the network. It's one of the shows that she likes. And the guy gets, the guy, it's a hospital show. And they bring in a patient with his kids. And he appears to be a black man, an African American man with two African American kids. And they take care of him.

and when they go in to talk to him, the doctor in the show says, Mr. Garcia. No, I'm not putting up with that. You can't do it. You can tell me a male is a girl. You can tell me a girl as a male. You can play gay.

You can play lesbians. You can play any kind of LGBTQ, L MNO PQIA, L MNLPA, L MNLPA, Z, anything you want. But I will not stand for the renaming. I won't do it. There's not a chance. that that guy's last name was Garcia. And I know that sounds bad.

Welcome to chewing the fat. So happy, happy April. I didn't know this, but April is distracted driving awareness month. And man, I am, am I celebrating that? Are you? I am celebrating distracted driving awareness month, yes.

Because I'm aware of the distracted driving than I'm a part of. Oh, that's not funny, Jeff. That's not funny. So in Texas, you can't text and drive. It's against the law. There are many places you can't text and drive. I get it.

It's fine. And I understand the distractiveness of that. And I have come close. I'll tell you how I understand how it could happen is because it's almost happened to me a couple of times. So I learned my lesson. You don't do it anymore. No, I do not. I know because I've been texting you.

I call people back. Yeah, you call back or whatever. Which I hate. I wait. I'm texting you. I wait until I stop. It's not the same. I know.

And I apologize every time because I understand the process. You text people because you don't want to speak to them. I got it. I understand. And but it's over, it's over. Quit texting me. Yes, no, yes, no. Thank you.

Okay. Talk to you later. No, don't have the last word. We're done. All right, you can have, I give you the last word on the texting. We're done. I'm not replying anymore. And I know several people in my life.

continue those texting conversations. I don't want to, you know, I'm not throwing anybody under the bus. Then why are you looking at me? Anyway, so, but they're looking now to make all kinds of interaction with the cell phones illegal.

So there's no talking without, you know, you can talk wireless with the blue kids of stuff. You can't, yeah, all hands free, which, no. No, not whatever. No. Why can't I, I can hold my phone up and still drive.

Do you have positive control of your car? Yes. With one hand. Absolutely. Absolutely not. Oh. I absolutely do. And this is not one hand and in one knee.

No. No, I don't put my knee. Barely walk on my knees. I'm not driving with them. No, but I mean, I, no, yes, I have control of my automobile. I've driven for a thousand years. I have control of my automobile. And by the way, if there were something bad happening and I was talking on the phone and I went, oh, I would just drop the phone and grab it by with my other hand.

You will drop your phone. Yeah. You will drop your phone. Yes. You would not drop your phone. You love your phone too much. You drop it. It's in my hand in my car.

You let it go when you drive the car. Why if it cracks? Now you have a crack phone. I have insurance. I pay for insurance. At least that's what I think I do. So I don't take attention to any of the bills that we do. that's somebody else's job.

I'm told that we have insurance, I believe. I don't know if that's still intact or not. I know I have a little bit of time left before I can get a new phone, which is very disappointing, but that's another story. So now they want completely. And I found out that really, like, when you pull up to a red light, stop, right? Look around at the cars around you. Oh, yeah, we did this already.

The world is texting and looking at their phones. that is illegal too. You're not supposed to be able to do that. I mean, obviously everyone does, but you're not supposed to be texting. Texting. No. And even when you stopped. You're still on the road driving your car.

So technically that's illegal. I mean, I didn't even, I'd do that forever because that's my time. I mean, I've joked about, I've had a couple of text conversations going and I was dying to get a red light. never got one. Made it all the way home without hitting a red light. But that's good, though. Only time I'm praying for red lights, not one. But that's good though. You didn't get no red lights. Any day I want to get home fast. Every freaking light turns red. I want to have a couple of texting conversations with people. Green lights. But that's supposed to be illegal too. So they're looking to get rid of all. I mean,

they're going to be hardcore on all that. Who is they? Texas. The lawmakers. Come on. Ted Cruz, focus on something else. Well, no, this is Texas, the state of Texas. All right. Ted. So Ted Cruz. Isn't he a senator for Texas? He is a senator for the state of Texas. Exactly. He's not a state senator.

The senator from. Oh, there's two things. So anyway, in New Hampshire, a police pulled a lady over. Now, this is also, I don't know if this is illegal all over the country. It should be. I don't think it is, though, because I see it happening quite a bit where people driving with their animal and their lap. Stop it. But that's my emotional support animal, Jeffie.

Put it in the back seat, put it in the trunk. But that's my emotional support. Put it in the seat next to you. Put it in the cage, tie it up. I don't care what you do? Get it off your lap when you're driving. Now, the argument to that is, right, they're holding the dog with one hand, driving with the other hand.

The same is you're talking on the phone. But do you have positive control of the vehicle, ma'am? I don't think you have a positive control of your vehicle with the dog. Do you think she's going to drop that dog? Well, even if she does, you don't. You don't drop the dog. The dog is sitting there, right? You're just kind of holding it.

trying to say, you know, you hit a little bump and out it goes. Why is it over the chihuahua? And then you hear that, ew, ew, yeah. You know, do you stop when you have something like that happens? Oh, no, you keep going. No, you got to stop. No, you keep going.

No, you got to stop. You keep going. You keep going. You flee the scene. Oh, you got to. You know, I have my, I got a dog story. You dropped a dog to the window? A runaway dog story. So I'm taking my,

I'm driving my mother-in-law, the first mother-in-law. back to her home because she stayed with us for a while. And so we're bringing her, we're bringing her back to her place. And we're kind of following her. And so she stops at a red light and something is bugging her. So she,

she opens the car door. And she doesn't realize that her dog, and we, none of us realize that her dog, Sadie, her little dog that she had, ran out. She closes the door on the road and off we go. So she, I mean, she, we're, we searched for this. dog for a week.

And we finally did find it. Because there was a lady in the car, about three cars behind us that said, I saw the dog get out and I just, I couldn't believe that nobody was going to get him. So I just stopped and I grabbed him and I threw him in my car and I've had him for a week. So she stole the dog. Yes. And we had her arrested and thogged. What's thogged?

Anyway, that's what we had happened. So this lady in New Hampshire gets pulled over because she's got a baby. goat in her lab. Where else is she supposed to put it? Okay. This has got to stop. Now, as the story goes on, you want to feel sorry for her. And did you think, oh, gosh darned.

You know, she's just taken, she's got her little pet goat with her. Those pigs? She was, and they let her go. She's operating without a valid driver's license. Oh. And she's got a baby goat in her lap. And we just said, give her a citation to let her go. Come on.

Right. Where is the criminal justice system? Thank you. Where is the criminal justice system? Now, we have got, I don't know that I have time today to get to every story I have here in front of me. We do. We got some good stories. The fat pile is fat today.

So, I mean, we could go with animals. We could go with stars. We could go with, I just realized that, I don't know if you know if you know this, but I just realized that Jennifer Lopez's World of Dance. I had that idea too. What do you mean? Well, there's a guy that's suing Jennifer for the world of dance because they say, they claim that Jennifer stole the idea for World of Dance show that's, I believe, on NBC.

Yes. So this man claims that he pitched the idea for the competition series 10 years ago. And now he just realized this? He just realized it. Now, he claims that he pitched the show called Let's Start. the dance. But that's not world of dance. See, now I pitched the show,

let's start the world to dance. So she saw your idea. Right. And his idea. So back in 2000, he did his in 2009. I was in 2008. According to legal documents,

he alleges to have faxed a letter to Alan and her production company. Well, who the heck is Alan? Alan must be another production guy, right? Probably her guy. Yeah. Alvin.

her choreographer, Debbie Allen, yeah, the choreographer for the show. Alan and her production company in an effort to see if she was interested in producing the show, but she never heard back. Okay, so, I mean, he never heard back. So you can't prove that she got the facts. But she got the facts.

But if this guy proves that, if they say that, oh yeah, well, she got the facts. I fax too in 2008. So she's your idea of well. Let's start the world to dance. Jennifer. NBC owes me money too. So now...

I think it's like 6.5 million. So now, right. 6.5 million he wants, he's asking for it. So seven years into this, all right? World... This has been on, right? This show's been around. Yeah, he's been on for a long time, yeah.

He knew it was going on. It's been promoed forever. All right? So now that it's kind of a hit. Hey, you know... Hey, that's my idea. Uh, you owe me some money. Millions.

Hello? It wasn't, hey, what are you guys doing? You're producing the show here. That was my idea. Let me in on it. Let's do it. Let's get this thing going. So wait.

Are you saying that he waited? into the show was profitable and then sue her. I said it appears like that's actually what happened. Wow. Wow. So if he gets $6 million. You get what? I mean, he's asking for five at actual damages and 1.5 impunitive.

I'll tell you what I'll do, Jennifer. Just because I know you look. I know you're busy. She is. I know. She's doing this. She's filming a movie. She's filming her hooker movie or her stripper movie that she's got going on.

And she has a Broadway. I mean, her Vegas show. She's just getting married. Alex Rodriguez And so, I mean, she's got a lot of things on her plate She does. So, look, just $5 million.

For you? I faxed you. I know you saw, I know, don't look at me like that. I know you saw the facts. I know you did. And I know that sneaky little choreographer

saw it too. So just give me the $5 million. I don't need anything in unitive damages. And just call it even. So our friends at NASA are back at it again. The project is called artificial gravity bed rest study.

We talked about it a while ago where they wanted people. They were going to pay people to come in and lay down for, I think, three months. No, two months. And you just have to lay down. You know, you eat, drink, and exercise. Laying down? Yeah. In bed.

And the daily routine, showering, getting dressed, eating, exercising. In bed? You cannot stand up to do them, says the website. And there's just continuous data selection. Now they need women. They've got the men slots all filled up, of course. Who is lay in bed for two months and do nothing but lay in bed or two? Yeah, I can do that.

I can do that. Look, I remember talking about this because it was for $18,500. For two months? That's not bad. I know. It doesn't seem like it's enough. $18,000. Doesn't seem like it's enough.

Shut up. All you're doing is laying on a bed. It would be so hard. For $18,000? And so one of the other things that you have to do is, you know, you have to do all this laying down, and you have to get up, put in what's called a short arm human centrifuge. Ooh, that sounds like it hurts. For 30 minutes a day.

Sounds like it hurts. I don't have short arms. If you know that, so I don't need to be in the short arm human centrifuge. It generates artificial gravity and distributes fluids from the head. back into the body. See, I told you it painful. It does not sound like it could be a good time. You'll spend 60 days with your heads tilted down 6 degrees,

which mimics conditions in space without gravity sending blood to the legs. Six degrees towards where? Astronaut's heads fill with fluids. Yeah, your feet are up, your head's back. Resting in the puffy head bird leg syndrome. Oh, man, do I hate the puffy head bird leg syndrome? Oh, man, do I hate that? researchers are study how the shifts in fluid this is all a big study right for nassas but they need

women so look go to nassas website and tell them you want to you want to right i mean you want to be part of the uh the nassas study that's uh i mean it looks it sounds fun except for the syndrome part i don't want a syndrome out of it the uh artificial gravity bed rest study uh you know it just sounds like it'll be so much fun and then getting in the short arm centrifuge human centrifuge Oh, that does not sound fun at all. Plus 18, I'm telling you. I know, look, I know people, you know, $18,500 is... That could pay some bills, babe.

Two months, though, for $9,000? Do you make $9 grand a month? So anyway, another story from Netflix. NASA administrator Jim Brittenstein accused, India of endangering the international space station. Last week, India blew apart one of its satellites orbiting Earth to test a rare anti-satellite weapon. So now he's saying that it created hundreds of pieces of audible, orbital debris, orbiter,

orbital orbital. Oh, that too, yeah. Yeah, debris. And some are big enough to pose a potential threat to the ISS. Now, I think we've all seen the movie, the documentary Gravity. With Bullock. And so, I mean, you know what happens with. debris in space.

That's not good. It's not good. So he's now afraid that other countries are going to follow India's lead and do this. To destroy more satellites? Yeah, just to test their weapons, right? That's what they're doing. They're testing the weapons. Thank God for Space Force.

Right. So now most of the stuff, you know, once the, once the debris starts flying around and either flies out of the atmosphere or flies in and burns up, you know, whatever. It goes away. you'll be fine. You know, maybe once in a while. Once in a while somebody will break through and you'll see, oh, I saw, I saw something hit the ground in Florida on Saturday night.

That was that debris from the India thing? No, that was, that was not. That was not. That was something else. Oh, okay. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. You'd be fine.

Worry about it. Stop worrying so much. All right, I got to go. We got to start into another business. I mean, this is getting out of control. So the Philippines sees 757 tarantulas. Now, of course, the headline is creepy enough, right? I mean, the headline is creepy cargo.

Philippines sees 757 tarantulas from Poland. That's a lot of tarantulas. Right? But look, I mean, we are starting to smuggle animals all over the world. That is big freaking business. Now, why you would want a tarantula? I don't know. One of the apartments I lived in in the past in my life, we had a pet tarantula.

Really? Yeah, Larry. Was it yours? Larry. No, no. No, but Larry was part of the family. Part of the crew. Yeah.

The first time I brought my in-laws or my mother and my cousins up to the apartment because I'd live there for a while. Larry was out. They weren't happy about being there. Wait, wait, Larry was a rumor? He was wandering around. We didn't know where he was. I told him, sit down and we're here for a little while, but he'll be on the lookout for Larry.

They didn't stay long. I'll tell you what. It's a way to get rid of relatives. Makes sense. Yeah, we got a pet tarantula. Where is he? He's out. I don't know where he's wandering around.

He's walking time. Wondering around the apartment. It could be anywhere. Just be on the lookout for him. He won't hurt you, probably. But I don't know what they get for the tarantulas, but they also, they're looking. to shut down the Komodo island for the Komodo dragons.

They're looking to shut that down next year. I don't know why they're waiting so long to shut it down. But they caught. They're trying to smuggle the last ones. Right. They've got five or six thousand of them on the Komodo park there where you go and visit them. And they're saying, you know, people, I mean, 10,000 visitors a month.

I mean, there's a lot of people. That's a lot of business. Right. So. That's probably what it is. Yeah, I know. Yeah. But I say if you're concerned about the dragons, you shut it down.

Right. You get your, you know, if you've. Don't be greedy. Right. And maybe they aren't. Maybe that's the farthest you can book in advance. I don't know. I've never thought, hey, you know, for vacation, let's go to the Komoda Dragon Island.

Wait, you're not going this year? Well, I'm going to start because one of the reasons that they're going to, that they want to shut it down and let the dragons breathe and read and count them and make sure everything's okay. is that they busted this ring that had 47 Komodo dragons or 41 Komoto Dragons and get 35 grand to pop for those things.

Yes, we are smuggling dragons. 35 grand. Those are big things though, man. You don't just walk up and grab them. At least with the tarantzes, put it in a little plastic cup and you're good.

The Komoto Dragon, man. They're monsters, man. He was like, you're coming with me now. I don't think so. Okay. Yeah, right. All right. Let's go.

You got a lasso of those things, man. But for 35 grand, and then you've got to sneak them out. You know, you're not putting that in a backpack. Backpack's moving around and his is us. Don't worry about it. My computer's on. My computer's on. Fan is on.

It gets hot. It gets a new one. Damn Apple. All right. So just the, other day, I'm talking to my son about the Joaquin Phoenix Joker. And I'm thinking it must not be that good because we have heard zero about it. Yeah, it's being really quiet.

And I thought, you know, the filming's been done. We haven't seen it heard anything about it. So it must be rough, right? So today they dropped the trailer for it. It looked pretty good. Looked really good. Now, and it looked different from the other jokers, which is most important to me right i mean we've got you've got to do something different my question to you which one is your

favorite joker i mean there's like the guy to committed suicide he was my favorite yeah he's ledger was really good i mean he was he was sick enough to be great and this and phoenix's joker looks like he's on the precipice of that okay you know the beginning you get a little bit you see that's the beginning up to being crazy you know up up to the what makes him joker because the joker from suicide squad that was horrible garbage yeah garbage yeah horrible and the you know the other joker with Nicholson you know that it's dated

it's dated now it was good it was good for the time it was good and the joker in the actual Batman TV show was great but dated yes it was a funny Joker it wasn't a serious joke we've evolved from that

we want scary Joker we want people killing people yes period we want people back in the day he was like oh ho ho ho right I'm trying to rob the bank exactly and now I'm going to kill everyone

in the bank and take the money which is what we want. Thank you. So this looks like it's the buildup, you know, the pre- crazy crazy. It's the buildup of what makes him Joker, which I kind of like. I kind of like the thought of that.

And it looked pretty good. So we'll see. We'll see. I don't mind Phoenix. But the only thing that problem is it's got what's his face in it, Robert De Niro. And just, I don't know what party plays. The Trump thing.

De Niro is I've had enough of him. You know, I, I know, And I love a lot of his work. I mean, I love a lot of Robert De Niro's work. But he really has pushed himself out of my love with his anti-Trump world. He plays Murray Franklin. And I love Mary Franklin. That doesn't mean anything to me.

Thank you. I just looked at the IMDB page and got the name of his character. Thank you. Appreciate it. And he takes a shoe size of 10 and a half. Thank you. It doesn't do anything for me. But I hope, you know, maybe it's good.

you've got to I really have had a tough time the last few years splitting apart the actors and their personal beliefs and their acting work because a couple of them De Niro and what's his face?

DiCaprio you know and and Jim Carrey you know in there you they their beliefs are so crazy What did the copra do to you? Oh, he's, I'm sorry. Mr. Green, Mr. Climate Change. You still bothered by that?

Oh, that was like years ago. No, no, he's still bad. He's still bad. I'm here thinking you're going to drop like a name that people will be like, oh, yeah. I don't think the copy is on people's list. I think he's just on your list. Okay, which is what I'm talking about. I didn't say, oh, look who's on other people's list.

I'm saying, I'm having a tough time. Also news today. lethal weapon 5 to be announced soon and I don't know if that's true or not but I don't know if we can I mean now we're looking at lethal weapon 5 the retirement home

but they're saying Pesci's going to return so I mean the series was great and you know they've got they're trying to bank on a long rolling series why because they all want money because we know bad boys is not enough money bad boys three is coming out doesn't do anything to me for really bad boys will smith and uh lawrence no yeah but again

a series right i mean they're trying to you know we want you know bad boys 20 okay you got fast and the furious if we can make if we can make right it's fast if there actually is fast and furious 20 i mean they're coming well there's huge right i mean if they can milk it they will so they all want money but maybe it'll be good Maybe, you know, Mel Gibson and Danny Glover and Joe Pesci working again from the retirement home will be good. And that's actually what it might be. They might actually be at the retirement home and find people stealing opioids from the retirement home.

I just wrote you your lethal weapon five. You're welcome. Doches. Also, we talked about this that's happening. It's back in the news again. the AMC is going to host the 59-hour, 22-film Marvel movie marathon ahead of Avengers Endgame. And so... Did you get your ticket?

No. I did. Stop it. For End-game? For End-game. Yeah. Now, that's number one now. That just broke the record.

Yeah. It was fascinating how they did it. Tuesdays and they beat Star Wars, the Force Awakens over the pre-sale records. But I messed up, though. I forgot to look at how long is the movie? Three hours. Yes, exactly. Three hours in two minutes.

In two minutes. Yeah. I remember that stuck in my head because I'm like, holy cow. My showtime is 1155 p.m. Ooh. Yeah. On a Thursday and have to be at work the next day. You're not sleeping.

No. Unless you fall asleep in the movies, right? You're halfway through end game. Exactly. That's probably what it's called the end game. Right. And you're going to wake up and the people are going to be, excuse me, excuse me. Excuse me.

Credits are rolling. How come you're still there? I wait to see if there's something at the end. I want to see if there's a sleepy previous. Holy cow, I'm not sleeping. Why don't just happen?

Three hours. It better be packed. Oh, with, no, not with people. I'm talking about like, with something that could keep me

entertained for three hours and two minutes. Oh, it will be. I hate when you do that. I really hope that you know that hate when you do that. The U.S. Department of Justice has sent a letter to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

You know, the Oscars. Warning it. The Department of Justice. Warning the Oscars. Don't be blocking streaming companies like Netflix and Amazon from competing for Oscar awards. Now, thank you. I want to say,

good? but on the other hand I don't want to say good what are you doing why is the justice department doing it not a year freaking business go hopsing your little butt back there because there we all got pissed including me at stephen spillberg for his little little duchiness against Netflix yeah he is too he's really there's another guy I don't even want to see him in these movies anymore except the ones that I like there's a lot of them okay but the letter sent by the head of the justice department's anti-trust division to the Academy CEO, Don Hudson.

Now, they were considering changing the rules, right? Proposed by Spielberg, of course. By Spilberg, yeah, because they wanted to restrict movies from competing for an Oscar. How dare you? How, that is major douche right there. So, look, I want Netflix and Amazon, they should be able to be, they played by your rules. If it's a movie. They played by your rules and they released it to theaters and then they brought it back to their streaming services and they played by your silly little rules so that they could win their Oscar.

That's all they wanted was to win their Oscar. Just give them the Oscar. Or a nominee. Give them an Oscar and then they'll walk. They won't have to freaking worry about it. Or I don't know. Here's an idea. Make better movies.

But for the Justice Department to get involved. No. No. Stop it. That's not good. That's not good at all. That's not America. Yeah

No, it really is Let's go to the break room I need a drink Seriously, I need a drink Maybe alcohol It's been a long time So I've been drunk But I'm going with Coke Zero right now

All right, we're in the break room Let's talk a little animal A little animal talk You know, there's There's all kinds of horse news today And when I say all kinds, two, two big horse stories Animal Control officers

in Kansas City, Missouri are investigating how the dismembered remains of a horse ended up. Okay, this horse that they found in the park of Kansas City was not doing that. It may have been doing that, I don't know, earlier in the day. It may be doing that before it got killed, but it was not doing that when they found it. So a man playing disc golf, all right, stop it with the disc golf. It's called Floresb golf. Yeah.

Frisbee, right? Ross. Frog. No. It's disc golf. Yeah, but it has a name. Yeah, disc golf. No, that's not it.

You ever play it? Of course you have. Actually, so have I. They put them in. The first time I ever saw them was when we moved to Texas. And there was a couple of different places that we went to that was like a couple of different parks that had them. Silly. Silly.

So police spokesman says the horse appears. to have been prepared for consumption. They got a little barbecue at the park. I mean, I don't know why they just left it out there. So they removed the carcass was placed in a barrel and dumped in the park. Oh, okay, I see so there was no meat. It was just the carcass. So that people were cutting up the horse to eat, but they didn't know how.

It was not doing that. And so they just dumped it in the park. Got it. So they didn't run it through a chip ring. at the park. So this is not a mob hit? This is not a mob hit. Because when I read this story, I thought it was a mob hit.

Yeah, no, this is not a mob hit. This is a, this is someone not knowing how to get rid of their remains. Just throw it in a trash bag. Oh, that trash can is heavy, huh? Yeah, no kidding. Come over for a steak tomorrow. All right. The horse's head, hooves, legs, and trails, ribs and lungs scattered in the

the area. So the meat's all gone. I mean, they've cut off the meat. They're barbecuing the meat on Sunday dinner. So what you're saying is the cop should come back on Sunday. Yeah. And see who's the one barbecue and meat? Thank you. Is that horse meat, sir? Yeah. Is that horse meat? Let me taste it. Let me see what. Has you ever had to horse meat before? No, I have. Oh, man. Have you? Have you? Have you? Animal control is going to lead the investigation unless it's determined the horse was stolen. Yes, I have had horse meat. Shut up. We had horse meat.

I've had, camel, bear. I think I've had tiger. I think I've had, bear is not that good stringy. You've got to cook it right. Isn't that with all foods?

No. No, so. Don't you have to cook the food right to taste good? No, my gosh, man. Okay. You're not even a chef. Don't even talk to me about that. And you are?

I am a chef. Also, another horse story. a thoroughbred named Arms Runner marked the 23rd death since December 26th at California's Santa Anita Park 26th or 23rd horse death. Race horse death. Amazing. Why are these horses dying?

Somebody's juicing them. Yes. Now, last, in 2017, there were 20 deaths. That's said I need to. All right. So, I mean, it's not like horses don't die. I get it. Wait, what?

It's not like horses don't die. They don't live forever. I understand that. But since December, four months, 23 of them are already kicked over. And something's going on. Something's happening. And horse racing is big business, man.

Big business. A lot of money. A lot of money. You win a couple of races as a horse. You are living large. You ain't lying. they are bringing female horses to you left and right man you just yep nah I'm not doing that

that's not gonna help that one's not racing either not doing those I need to see I need to see a Philly all right come on get over here also the big story today was so this guy is fishing in in Australia and he hooks a big fish okay it's a shark he knows it's a big fish when he hooks it because it's a big monster fish

when you see the picture yeah I mean it's and it's a big monster fish so as he's fighting with it reeling it in he feels something else attack that fish so it light it's like it goes for being really heavy to a lot lighter whoa

he throws him out of the boat that's just me talking I didn't say that but he probably almost got thrown out of the boat and that though and so the picture is just the shark head. Something. When he's pulling in, he's fighting with the shark head,

or with the shark, something comes along and bites the entire shark. Completely off, takes the entire, whoomp, chomps the shark body and just leaves the head. You know, off he goes. A, get out of the water. B, I mean, the bag.

C, get out of the water. I mean, D. Fukushima. Thank you. That's what's happening. That's what happened. Last we would cover them.

We have the Sunfish. We have the Fukushima sunfish. We have the Fukushima lobsters. And now we've got Fukushima tiger sharks. Oh, the tiger sharks don't do that. I didn't really. Sharks see sharks? No, not tiger sharks.

Tiger sharks are the stupid ones. No. Yes. I don't think so. They're called the nursery shark. No. That's the ones you can swim with. I don't think so.

From Fukushima? No. My friend, you do not know what you're talking about. Stop talking. Wait, what are you doing? You're not going to cover the Gypsy Lani story? The what? The Gypsy Lani?

You live in Michigan. I'm just doing animal stories, and then I've got a couple of fashion stories to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you're from Michigan, right? I was born and raised in Michigan. Yeah, so where's gypsylani? The what? Gypsylanti, Michigan.

Why? Yeah, Y. Yipsilani. Yeah, Jipsilani. Yipsalanti, Michigan. Yeah. Did you see what happened over there? No, I don't live in Michigan anymore.

Beware of the goose. The police department has issue and statement of beware of the goose. You're throwing stories into the break room now? I am, I am. Because Giisilanti says. Yipsalani, Michigan. Yipsalanti. Yeah.

Police say that the attack happened on the north end of the school campus. Gooses are mean, man. Yeah. And it shows a goose attacking. and chasing a person in the parking lot. That's not the first time geese, goose's, goose has attacked people. They're mean, man.

There was a story now of a year, maybe even longer ago. And I get, you know, I get, after a few hundred years, time just gets so confusing. Where the guy was, the goose has kept attacking his kid. And so he came out and started firing his weapons started beating them and people were all pissed. Oh, no?

I think my kids alone. You're going down. I mean, you're a goose. It's funny because according to the school, a few students have tried to take selfies of the geese when they're hissing, but they advise, don't do that. You know, you're no kidding.

Take a selfie, you get a goose up your ass. Can I quit you on that? Yes. It's like my grandfather used to say. What did he used to say? You ever see a duck? Do a duck? No?

No, but I've seen a goose, goose a goose. Want to show the world you're a fan of Glenn Beck? Pat Gray or Jeff Fisher. Wait, what? Go over to shop. Theblaze.com and find everything you need, like t-shirts, mugs and caps.

Do you need me to model the blaze swimsuits? Because, you know, that's not a problem. Get to shop. com. I'm still willing. And get your Blaze Media merch today. I mean, is that a no to me wearing your little swimsuit? Uh,

because I'm willing to do that for you. Nah, Jeffie, we're good. Man, I was willing to. and tell me you wouldn't click on my calendar. Come on, man. Okay, tell me. Yeah. Forget about the fire, man.

You know you would. Right? Chewing the fat Jeff Fisher. Thank you. Thank you. They're still like hotcakes. World class. And that brings us to us.

That's a cute little, cute little promo there for shop. Attheblaze.com. As long as we're, you know, promoing, why let's, you know, this is chewing the fat and you need to subscribe. Subscribe. Spit the word out of my mouth. Subscribe to Chewing the Fat Podcast,

and you can do that wherever free podcasts are sold. Look, yesterday I got down on my knees. And poor man. Got down on my knees. So I'm not doing that today. I refuse. But just know that your subscription counts, and it helps. And it means a lot.

And I did get an email at Chewing the Fat at theblaze.com from Stephanie, thanking us for reading her is this Stephanie 6-5-4? Yes Yeah she emailed Chewing the Fat at the Blaze.com

and said that she listened to the podcast and she was happy that we read her review on the air and Well she was kind of bitching at us too Well

She wants it to yourself She said she was a big fan Yeah And she said she listens every night So thank you I appreciate it. It means a lot to me Also she appreciates

That your show comes out of 530 Central time. Well, she said she listens every night. Yeah, so she appreciates that the show comes out. No, she didn't say that. If she says she listened to it every night. Because she has to because it doesn't get put out until the end of the freaking day.

It means she appreciates the show comes out at 5.30 Central. So she's claiming that if she ever comes to Texas, she wants to, you know, we're on her visit list. Good luck getting through security. But go ahead, stop by any time. But you can stop by any time. If I'm here. Security.

When you drive up and you see the Volkswagen bug out there, you know I'm here. True. And so just come on up. Just come on up and knock on the door. Just tell them. Just tell them who you are. And she gives a little disclaimer about herself. She says, plus I'm super badass cool.

So you'd have fun meeting me. Does she include measurements? Because usually that also is part of the message. I didn't read the entire email. Let's do fashion. Oh, walking down the runway. All right, so, look, I wasn't consulted on this, but I am, I am oddly for it. The U.S. Postal Service, and you know, they're supposed to consult me when things happen.

I mean, I'm on the Board of Governors. The Governors, yes. Yeah, I mean, I always wanted to be the Postmaster General, but we did some research and saw that the Governor, the Board of Governors has more power than the Postmaster General. Yeah. And those are appointed by the President. of the United States. Thank you. And there's no reason why I should be on the board of governor.

So now I just say I am. I have business cards and everything. Do a badge? No. No, I don't have a board of governor badge. What I want a badge for is my Heinz ketchup police. I forget. See, there's so many things that you want,

I just keep forgetting which one is when. Now I wrote those down. So the U.S. Postal Service has now decided they want to sell a clothing line. okay well hold on I've seen the post people and I see them at their work they're not that fashion

that uniform that they have it's not that fashionable I know so I hope I hope they got some good stuff coming out when you look at the website it looks pretty cool they've got the tank top that says priority

oh hello they've got the they've got the little cutoff t-shirt says express on it is that priority with the party blue with the bird? Yeah Oh, I love that blue. Yeah.

Yeah, that's a good book. And the one, they've already got the, they've already got like a tote purse. Oh, the Express mail. Oh. That's sold out. It's already sold out. Wow. It's pretty cheap.

It was like 15 bucks. I wonder it sold out. So, I mean, and look, who doesn't want to walk around with postal service stuff? Thank you. Right? Thank you. I mean, look, anywhere from 15 to 55 bucks for whatever they have. That's not bad.

That's not bad. No, it is not. The post office? No, it is not. And look, anything that we can boost a little cash for the post office, I'm all for. Because right now they're in the red. Right now, you mean like in the last, I don't know, 80 years since forever? It's in the Constitution.

We must have a post office. But I will say that the next time that they'd like to expand their... Do something like this? They need to... Did you check your phone number? Maybe they called you. You'll hold me. So another great fashion.

design coming out now. The janty which is a gene panty. What? What? So the brief style shorts can be worn under or over pants. This is like an adult diaper

as a gene? So we have denim gene diapers? Underware that doesn't need to stay under there. Oh good. So it's like a superhero underwear? Oh, good. Yes. We have the Superman underwear is now. Oh, okay.

Stop. Where can you get them? How much? Stop. What are you talking about? Well, look. You can get them from the, look, according to the Montreal luxury e-tailor.

Oh, come on. Who doesn't get their panties from the Montreal people? Luxury e-tailor. Yeah. Essence. S-S-E-N-S-E. That's a good word. currently stocking the bootelicious bombum for a $315.

I'm sorry? $315. For a pair of denim. Now the Parisian label, Y Project, the same crew who bought us thigh-high ugs for $800 have now crafted the janty and they've decided that maybe $800 was a little steep. It was a little steep, yeah. $350. I can see it from eight to three.

three it's less than eight so next year a hundred bucks year after that they're going to be putting them on the postal service website selling them between 14 and 55 dollars guaranteed one last fashion story and I'm not sure I really want to do this story because it's not first of all it's funny in a sick way and you know me I'm not my gosh

I don't want to be a part of anything like that So one more fashion story, Amazon pulled some baby jumpsuits off their site. And, you know, as an entrepreneur and a capitalist, you think, hey, stop it. What are you doing? Why are you pulling my product off your site? Apparently, the jumpsuits for the babies, look, I've always said for years that nobody looks in the crib and sees their baby. all babies are beautiful. Most babies are beautiful.

You know beautiful babies when you see it. But they're in the crib, and you love them. They're your kid. And you look at them in the crib, and you never think to yourself, someday he's going to grow up to prop to 7-Eleven. I can't wait. Nobody thinks that. Nobody thinks their little beautiful baby boy or girl

is going to grow up to be a criminal, right? Well, so now these little baby jumpsuits one says daddy's little slut I am not laughing all right I am not laughing this is now the reason they pulled them is they claim that it's aimed at pedophiles I disagree with that

I disagree too I believe that this is they're trying to be funny and the other one is I just look illegal CSO wrong I'm not laughing at that either don't even I mean we know you look illegal anyway I don't know what it doesn't mean anything

coming from you Oh, you mean, that's what the jumpsuit sounds. Sorry. Yeah. Oh, sorry. So, but I mean, that's just somebody trying to be funny. Yes. Yes.

And the other one is Daddy's little toy. With another word in between little and toy. Do you Google that yourself? Daddy's little toy. Okay, but I disagree with the, the aimed at pedophiles. I don't think when the person went out and created this said, I want this for pedophiles. He was pushing the limit of being funny of parents looking at the pedophiles. their kids. We've seen

girls out there with a shirt that says slut on their breast side, on their buttocks. You know, like for example, the USPS on the boddocks of one of the pantses express mail. Do I hate that? I mean, when I see girls wearing

that stuff, I just want to makes me so angry. I mean, that's somebody's daughter. Makes me so angry. I can barely look. Sick, whole thing. Crime, arrests, stalking. That's what we have left in the podcast.

In the criminal justice system, there are police officers that think they're smarter than people every day. Officers in the United Kingdom decided, hey, let's put a knife surrender bin on the street corner because there's a 52% spike in knife crime, across the area over the last year. We can tell people, hey, here's a little red mailbox

and people can put their knives in there for safety. A day later, it was broken into. No, what? I know. Are you reading that wrong? That's April Fool's on April 3rd. Okay. You're reading that wrong.

There's no way that a box full of knives was robbed. I do not believe. I apologize for the story then. Fake news. In Anchorage, Alaska, police have arrested three juveniles, suspected of crashing a display of 1,800 food cans collected for an Alaska food bank. All right. So they build this chest high structure by 17 engineers. It takes 17 engineering students at Anchorage Diamond High School.

There's that question. Remember, I was asking you, how many engineers does it take to build an 1,800 can display? Now we know, 17 from Diamond High School. Now, three students. The display was there as a. as the annual can structure competition. I think 17 people for the annual can structure competition. Okay.

How many? All right, but good for them. All right, good for them. They're a good thing. It's a good thing. Yeah. So, uh, police say that the suspect slammed their bodies into the display.

And then they fled. No. So two of the suspects are from the same high school as the engineering students. Really? And the third. being pushed into crime from public school students as a homeschool student. Amazing. So the food was valued like $2,300.

Now, it says that many of the cans were damaged. Yeah, they got a dead in them. It's a dent. But the food bank is evaluating whether damage cans can be accepted. Yes. Yes. There's your answer. Yes.

You go ask a homeless person? You're coming to the food bank for food. Do you want this? You want this can of potatoes that has a little dent in it? It's got a little dent in it. Oh, then I don't want it. Yeah, I don't want it. I don't want it.

I can't do that. I need unbent cans of potatoes. Right. No, I can't do that. If it's a dented can, I'm not taking it. Yeah, well, duh. But your family will starve. I don't care.

No, I want the undented one. Stop it. So this, I've got a couple of stalking cases that are amazing. All right. So in Australia, a cup. A couple is, the takeout line of McDonald's, right, in the drive-through line. So somebody honks the horn at it, this guy and his girlfriend.

Honk, honk, let's go. Which is a little annoying, I might add, in a drive-through lane. Everybody wants to get through and get through, right? There's no... I don't understand why that's a problem. However, Ryan Sharp, 33, deserves to still be in jail, and he is. All right, because he didn't apply for bail. he launched a six-week campaign

of stalking and harassing this couple that honked their horn. Are you freaking giving it? Now, at the end, he blows up their car. I mean, that needs to have some mental health. There's got to be some kind of mental issue with that. There has to be.

That can't be. It just can't be. And in Utah, Now, it may sound from time to time that I'm laughing, because I'm not. I am not laughing about this at all. This is very serious. An extreme stalker.

That's what they're calling them, an extreme stalker, has a Utah's family home under siege. So a Utah family has become the victim of extreme stalking because, well, up to 20 people a day are showing up at their house. Hey, we're here to. provide electrical or plumbing or tree trimming or towing services yeah no we didn't order any of it i mean that is not funny i am not laughing about that at all because that's just wrong okay uh he spotted

pictures people taking pictures of his house looking inside his windows late at night sitting and parked cars outside uh the police have records on all kinds of people that are showing up because there's some fellows are showing up. I think it's a computer, you know, somebody's using a computer program. Duh. And so it's costing some companies money, right?

I mean, pizzas are being sent there. Environmental cleanup companies are showing up. Are the pizza paid for? One Saturday morning, the, they got a call that the house was flooding, so the whole environmental cleanup company shows up,

got their crew there. Yeah, no, we're not having any environmental cleanup. They're claiming that costs us for a grand. Environmental, House is flooding. We need to clean this up. Yeah, no.

We didn't call. So now, now, police cars parked outside the house. Wow, they got protection. Around the clock. Wow. They put a big yellow sign of the driveway. Alert.

If you've been asked to provide any services to this address, such as a car, tow, home repair, locksmith, plumbing, food deliveries, anything else. Please call North Salt Lake Police. Wow. We are all victims of this scam. I mean, that's, I mean, they're, you know, it's a big scam and people are, you know, continuing to come. And I get it. I get it.

But look, people are showing up there looking for drugs, maybe trying to sell some. Prostitutes are showing up. Oh. I mean, I would not be right. Hello. Who is it? This is, Bill, I'm looking to get my fix. I'm sorry?

I need my fix. I was told this is where I could get my fix. I was told this is where I could get my fix. No, no, you got to call the police department. Do you see the sign up there? No, I can't. Got to go. Thanks for help us.

Sorry. So, but he claims now that he feels... Who's he? Mr. Gilmore, the man that lives in the house that's being stalked with his family. The Gilmores. Okay. Wow. He feels trapped in his home.

Threatened. My wife is scared to death. constantly. My other family members don't like to go outside because they don't know who's coming. It's very threatening. But I thought like he can't leave the house? I guess not. I guess they, is there like a mob of people outside like, hey, you order pizza? Yeah, there's 20 pizza delivery. I mean, I don't understand that. Leave. Now, I get the idea that, you know, look, the entire neighborhood and the house that would become a, it would become a real pain. Now, it's kind of a, it's kind of a funny idea. I kind of like the idea of the idea of the for a few days.

What's the reason? Yeah, I don't know. Maybe they honked their horn at somebody in a drive-thru.