Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 818 | You’re Already Dead…

Episode Date: February 25, 2022

What would you do with it? Soldiers on Tinder… Psaki and Peter in NYC?... Russians in Space… Swingers club has to move… Louis CK in Ukraine? Subscribe to the YouTube Channel… Subscribe www.blazetv.com/jeffy / Promo code jeffy… Email [e-mail] Plastic Surgery gone wrong… Houses of the Hoity Toity: Not Really… Who lives longest?... Animals, Bugs and Artifact section full… Game Show: What’s The Lie? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Boarding for Flight 246 to Toronto is delayed 50 minutes. Ugh, what? Sounds like Ojo time. Play Ojo? Great idea. Feel the fun with all the latest slots in live casino games and with no wagering requirements. What you win is yours to keep groovy. Hey, I won! Boating will begin when passenger Fisher is done celebrating.

19 plus Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Concerned by your gambling or that if someone close, you call 186653300 or visit Commexontera.com. Blaze Radio Network And now Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher So I read a tweet this week I know, surprise

but I actually read this tweet and I took it to heart and I don't know why but I just I can't get it out of my head so Peter Diamandis who is you know a philanthropist and a futurist and he's got a new thing going with

this life force which is really incredible but his tweet if I gave you one billion dollars and asked you to do something to make the world a better place what would you do? And I took it serious. Now obviously there's a thousand,

well one joke for sure just by giving me the billion dollars you've made the world a better place because I now have a billion dollars. However, if you were to actually take that seriously. What would you do? What would you do?

We talk about people in their foundations all the time and how they, you know, the funding has gone bad and they're skimming money and they're spending money on doing this and spending money on doing that. But a billion dollars. I mean, that's more than feeding sandwiches to the homeless in a park in Orlando, right? I mean, that just is.

It's a lot of sandwiches for the homeless in the park in Orlando, Florida. No question. But what would you do? And I don't necessarily have an answer. I just have been, I've been pondering it. I've been pondering it for two days now. And so now I'm pondering with you. So email me, email me, chewing the fat at the blaze.com.

If I gave you a billion dollars and asked you to do something to me, email me, email me, chewing the fat at the blaze.com. make the world a better place, what would you do? And I'll read them. I'll read them on the air. I want to know, I want to know what would you do because I find it,

I just, I can't, I can't stop pondering. Because other than, you know, I mean, I'd have to take a salary. I can't just do good with a billion dollars

without a salary, right? I mean, hello. Got a family to feed. So, if I gave you a billion, you know, you're doing good, with what, $800 million, $200 million salary?

Okay. I mean, still, though, it's a lot of us, still a lot of sandwiches in the park in Orlando for the homeless. Anyway, I just, I mean, I'm fascinated to see what you, the listeners of this program,

chewing the fat, would do if I gave you a billion dollars and asked you to do something to make the world a better place, what would you do? Welcome to chewing the fat. All right, so we're here in day, two of

Ukraine invasion from Russia. I'm sure some of the soldiers, the Russian soldiers are bummed because we have reports that they were on Tinder prior to the invasion. Right. The Russian soldiers were like, well,

just hanging out here on the border. Maybe I'll go into Ukraine and take care of a little business. So apparently they were posting all over to winter. Oh, Twinder. That's what they call it in Ukraine.

It's Twinder for the Twinkies. Not just stop. Write your own jokes. I'm not going to write any more for you, okay? So apparently the reporters were they had heard that the Russian military were all over Tinder on the border. So some of the reporters in Kyiv were. were changing their location to Kharkiv. Is that how you say the city next to the border?

Amorpha Fallon. Yeah, right there and by the border of Russia and Ukraine. And so you changed their location, all the soldiers were popping up on Tinder, getting ready for a little Ukraine business. What else are you going to do? You're stuck in your tank or eight hours a day or more. And you got Vlad going toe to toe.

with Joe? I mean, swiping right, baby. Swiping right on the Ukrainians. Oh yeah. And I mean, I will and have been on record. And I'm a big proponent

of Eastern Bloc women. So, I mean, I don't blame Eastern Bloc men for being a proponent of their own women. That's what we're put on the planet for. Anyway, I wonder if the once the soldiers, you know, if they were taken care of a little Tinder business, once they, you're right, right.

Now did they end up crossing the border and now they're, you know, or did they save them? Don't bomb that building. That's swipe right building, man. So I don't know. I'm just asking questions as all. I don't know. And I see where the two Russian cosmonauts are still... What did I call them?

Cosmomots? Yeah, that's what they call themselves. I can't even speak. What is wrong with me? The two Russian cosmonauts were not using Twinder are remaining at the International Space Station. And so Biden just sanctioned the Russian space program.

him. So, I mean, are they waiting for Elon to send up a taxi? God. Weightlessness. Maybe, I guess Bezos is going to go up. Yeah. Carmelide! I mean, that would be space tender, though.

So maybe they are. Otherwise, they're just hanging out up there doing nothing. And now, I mean, there are wars with Ukraine, not us. And I think it's the Russian cosmonauts are up there. I think we have a couple up there, and I think maybe China has one up there as well. Yeah, no, not a European astronaut, not China. China's doing their own thing.

They don't want anything to do with us. They don't hang out at our dump. They've built a new, they've built a new condo up there in space. They've got their own thing going on. So there's four NASA astronauts, two Russian cosmonauts, one European astronaut. Ooh, we could take the Russians out. Easy.

You coming to rescue us? Yeah, we're down to. It could happen. I don't want it to, but it could happen. So, I got that going on. That's my coverage of the European invasion, Russia, into Ukraine. You're welcome. You're not getting that from Fox.

I'll tell you that. You're not getting that from CNN. Well, no, you're not getting that from CNN. You're not getting that from MSNBC. Speaking of CNN, you see where, what's her face? Jen Saki is up for taking, what's her face's job?

Rachel Maddow? I thought Rachel was just taking a little time off to, you know, produce her podcast and do other CNN stuff, MSNBC stuff. stuff. But, I mean, okay. Bring Jen in? She'd be a good fit for them. I mean, I don't know that I could handle her for the whole. I mean, she does the press conferences. Well, I mean, you know why she wants to go to New York, right? Because Peter is going to be back in New York. You go ahead.

Go ahead. I see your hand. Thank you. That's right. Because Peter is going to be going back to the studios. He's not going to be at the White House forever. And then it's going to be, I got to be in New York. Just down the street. I'm in the city, Peter. Oh, yeah. Right?

I think that's happening. I think that's happening. That's why. So she's going to take a TV gig just to be in the city because Peter is not going to be at the White House forever. He's a strong voice now. They're going to move him. you know,

within the next year he's out of the White House, guaranteed. He'll be back in the studio. And then, Jen will be in the city too. Right. Mark my words.

Mark my words. That's a two in the bat prediction. Right there. When Jen takes the gig in the city, Peter's out of the White House too. Just, you know, coincidentally. Oh, yeah. done tape it today

me too that's happening I'm right I mean as long as we're talking about Europe and business and invasions let's talk about the swingers club

in Ireland that's going to have to move I know it's the owner of the attic swingers club is really bombed It's a swingers club with customers from all over Europe, including Ireland. It's facing a closure as devastated, devastated the owner and, of course, the customers.

43-room club called The Attic has been operating in the Osmiston Road Business Park in Derby United Kingdom since 2007. the owner has now got to find a new home by November by November of 2023 so he's still hanging he's got a little bit of time the building was sold to the ALB group

those bastards they said hey don't worry about it everything's going to be fine we're buying the building but yeah you'd be able to stay don't worry about it eh yeah you know what we bought the building and

Now you're going to have to move. We're giving you until November of 2023. Find a new place for this dump, okay? Customers are upset. For the Swingers Club going away? No kidding. He said he's had plenty of offers, though, to help him find a new home. So maybe they will find a new home that's suitable for them.

It's a big place. 43 rooms? includes a school room. I know. Adult cinema room, a maze, a dungeon, realistic dogging zone. It employs around 20 staff whose jobs will be lost. Oh, no, if the club closes permanently.

It welcomes couples and singles of all ages with a younger influx of couples attending in recent years. Oh, so the older ones are dying off. Get some younger ones moving in. It's only costing you about $15 for couples. 35 for single men. Ooh, only 10 for single women? Oh, yeah.

That means there's 8,000 men and two women. As a matter of fact, we're not going to charge you anything. Go on in. Get out of here. You're in there. The club's rooms are, well, that's if they enter the rooms. Oh, wait. So those are the only, that's what they charge if you're going into a room.

Oh, okay. Now, each room is equipped with cleaning equipment on hand to maintain hygiene, of course. Also, the club is very popular with the LGBTQ plus community. And with transvestites in particular. Isn't that? Oh, in particular. I mean, I was going to say this part of the LGBTQ. It's an inclusive atmosphere for everyone, regardless of sexual orientation.

Well, I mentioned the, I mentioned this whole Ukraine thing's got Europe all shook up too. Man, these places of business are like slowed down. I was looking at some of the photographs from the attic. I mean, you'd have to, and then, to get past some of the, you'd want to, and then, you'd probably be okay with it after that. Let's go to the break room. I need something cold to drink desperately. Oh, my gosh. So good.

We need to look this up and see if it's actually true. One more Ukraine story. It looks as though Louis C.K. was supposed to perform in Kiev this weekend. And as of, you know, a day ago, it wasn't canceled. Now, I'm guessing Russian troops on the streets of Kiev would assist in that cancellation. but it's very possible that that show has been canceled, but it wasn't as of yesterday.

So he just announced. And I was right. There's no way. It was still on, but that was, you know, before the troops moved in. He just posted on his website,

my flight was canceled because no one can fly there now. Oh, so the show is postponed. The show is canceled. It has not been canceled. It has not been canceled. It is just postponed. So good news for the people in Ukraine. Louis C.K.

will still show up, you know, at some point in the future. All right, well, we might as well just stay in the eastern block. All right? We're going to stay in the eastern block for now. because there's a Russian beauty queen who was on her way to possibly getting three cuts to clown face. But no. She, uh, Yulia Terasovich. Tresovic.

Amorph a palace. 43. The runner up in the Mrs. Russia international pageant two years ago decided to under, so I don't forget she was the loser two years ago. I know the runner-up. She was almost there, Jeff. Okay.

She decided to undergo plastic surgery at one of the top clinics. I came to them with a beautiful, healthy face. I just wanted to correct some nuances caused by aging. That's what happens. That's what. I just, whenever you start thinking about correcting nuances because of aging, I know. But now, now she's lost her health.

Disfigured during the facelift surgery. That was not funny. That was not funny. So she had her eyelids done. It's called blepharoplasty. Amorphalus. Yeah, that's what it's called for the islands. and it's the removal of excess skin

and cheek fat reduction she underwent emergency surgery follow-up surgery performed by an other doctor to save her eyes oh no so now oh man she has

scleroderma right just stop that's what it's called amorphalus It's a rare genetic condition that causes hardening of the skin All right Now she

There isn't any evidence She suffers from autoimmune disease Which also affects other organs Okay she has scars In her cheeks And they ripped out all my tissue My eyes don't close And I can't smile

I can lift my upper lip one part of my face doesn't work well that's what happens when you just want to correct some nuances caused by aging and you go to a top clinic it's just sad

it's just sad make sure just make sure you go to a top top clinic don't just go to those top clinics Go to a top squared clinic. That's where you need to go. Top squared. I should invest in that, actually.

Do you want to correct nuances in your aging face? Top, top clinic. Top squared. We're here for you. We won't leave you disfigured. I mean, right there's a selling point. Are you the we won't leave you disfigured? guy? Yes. Yes, I am. I mean, we're still in the break room, so I'm waiting for, I've got to finish

watching a few shows. Like, I've got to finish the Tinder Swindler. It's not the Twinder swindler, although it should be. But it's, I got to finish the Tinder Swindler, but I get it. I get the whole con. And then I see everybody, I see the big promotion for Kimmy on HBO Max, which was a fun ride. I enjoyed that. There was a couple of things. things in there that didn't make sense like why it got so violent. I'm happy that it

did and it made for, you know, an interesting show. But what the boss was hiding didn't seem to warrant the violence. Anyway, it was a fun ride if you watch it. But there's nothing

I'm running for... I mean, Walking Dead started up again. So, you know, you've got Talking Walking Dead for those of you that's, you know, subscribe to this podcast. You know that. You see it drop on Mondays. If you're listening to this right now and you are not a subscriber to this show and you're freeloading off someone else's subscription, nobody likes that, at least of all me.

Okay. So find a platform. You can use the one you're listening on if you want or find another one, but subscribe under your own name and under your own. address. Nobody likes a freeloader. Anyway, Tocke Walking Dead is back because Dead's back for part two of the final, of the three-part final season. I know, it's never ending. I've almost had enough.

It's been, it was really good. And another episode of 1883 this weekend, but no football. I mean, I'm lost without football. I really am. Don't, don't shrug like that. Man, the Saturday's without college football, and Sundays without NFL, it's been hard. It's been hard. Yes, it has. This episode is brought to you by Peloton. A new era of fitness is here. Introducing the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus, powered by Peloton IQ, built for breakthroughs with personalized workout plans, real-time insights, and endless ways to move. Lift with confidence, while Peloton IQ counts reps.

X form and tracks your progress. Let yourself run, lift, flow, and go. Explore the new Peloton cross-training tread plus at one peloton.ca. So this is, I guess we could do houses of the hoity-toity. Really, this is the houses of the hoity tooty, but not really. This is a houses of the hoity toy-toity. Not really. So this woman is obsessed with the 1970s.

She keeps buying stuff so her house is like a time capsule of the 70s. And I guess it would be cute to go in, maybe. But, ooh, I mean, you walk in and you see the 70s refrigerators and furniture and pictures and wall hangings and wood bandling or fake wood bandling. And the sofas and the curtains and the, ooh, I mean, I began collecting vintage antiques in 2015. And I think it was the nostalgia that drew me in. Yeah, well, just sticking with one little era of vintageness. I don't know, maybe we think about something else.

Not because I lived in that time, but because I was born and I did. But it just gave me the feeling of seeing my grandmother's house. Move to Florida. You'll find one. Although there's probably less of those these days. Those people are probably all dead that moved. Yeah. Ah, never mind.

Don't move to Florida. Okay, so I'm thinking at least get something out of it. Bring people in. You know, coming to her the vintage house. something on the weekends you run tours on the weekends check it out this is a 1970 clock what do you think of this one

this wood paneling I got from a house and Ohio doesn't it great look at that bookshelf man isn't it great yes it is I mean it's a little frightening maybe if mom starts doing that

you might think no mom we're not doing that. You're not going to have all the appliances that they had back then because most of those don't work anymore. Although those are pretty good appliances still

in the 70s. You know, the one thing that my mother had, the one thing that my mother had, that I would like to have just as maybe this lady has it in her house, then I'm not seeing a picture of it. But there was a

two oven stove. So the smaller oven on top with the glass doors that opened up and then you had the burners for the stove, for the stove top

but it pushed in. So when it was in the not working position, you just saw two burners. But you pulled the slide out and it turned into four burners. and then you had a big oven and broil. You could broil capabilities on the bottom underneath. I know.

That's world class right there, man. I'd like to have that. Nah, never mind. Never mind. No, I just show me a picture. I'll find a picture on Google and go, oh, yeah. My mom had that.

That's what this lady needs to do. Just hang some pictures up from Google. Oh, look. That's what the 70s sofa looks. like, glad I don't have to sit on that crap anymore, unless I keep living, living longer. So I see a story where this tells me the states with the highest life expectancy, and of course, if you have the highest life expectancy, you have to know what the lowest life expectancy states are.

Now, the highest life expectancy, I mean, I guess you would have guessed it. If I asked you, what state have the highest life expectancy? What state would you say? Are we doing the game show now? No, we're not doing the game show. Now I'm just asking a question. Seriously, I may find another contestant if we get to the game show, but I'm just talking about

if I asked you, give me the state with the highest life expectancy. No, this is not the game show. I swear to God, I'm going to pull the plug on this whole damn thing. Is it Hawaii?

Right. I don't know that I would have guessed that. Now, off the air, I asked Corey, I said, I wonder if the state's lowest life expectancy. And he nails it again. What's the state with the lowest life expectancy. I swear to God, I mean.

Mississippi. Right, Mississippi. This is why he's a contestant on the game show. What's the lie? Because right out the bat. I don't know. So number two, the top five.

The top five. Highest life expectancy states, obviously number one, Hawaii. Number two, California. Number three, New York. Number four, Minnesota. Number five, Massachusetts.

Now, if New York is up there, I'll give you that Massachusetts is up there, somewhere in the Northeast, Vermont, New Hampshire. Right, a lot of hoity-toits, spending a lot of money on, you know, clown face and heart problems. as what's happening. But the lowest life expectancy,

I mean, I guess Mississippi, they always come in as the fattest, I mean, most overweight, right? They always come in at that. Yeah, they come in at Mississippi. You know, am I, you know what, I never can, I read a book 100 years ago on Abe Lincoln as our 16th president,

Abraham Lincoln, 16th president, United States of America. And in this book, they said, that as a kid, when he was asked once how to spell Mississippi, he spelled it, am I, crooked letter, crooked letter, I, crooked letter, crooked letter I, humpback, humpback eye. And I can never, never get that out of my head. So anyway, Mississippi is the last bottom, worst, lowest.

You live in Mississippi, you're already dead. That's pretty much what this says. But the bottom five states leading up to Mississippi, All right. Tennessee, Kentucky, Alabama, West Virginia, am I, Cricket, Letter, Cricket Letter, I, Cricket Letter, Cricket Letter, I, humpback,

humpback, high. Bottom five of the states with the lowest life expectancy in the United States. So if you're listening to this show right now in your Mississippi, you're already dead. Just know that. You already are.

and Hawaii being the number one state for life expectancy and they're like still have their mask mandates and lockdowns going on. I don't know if they'll ever change that now. You might be stuck in quarantine going to Hawaii forever now unless the businesses say, excuse me, governor, we'd like to make a little money.

We'd like to bring tourism back, please. So we'll see. I know reports are, for those of you listening, live today, 225-2022. CDC is supposed to loosen the coronavirus mask guidelines today. So will that mean that Hawaii will loosen their restrictions? I kill me. I kill me. Because no, that's probably not going to happen.

Hawaii will probably wait until the airlines stop theirs. When the airlines stop their restrictions, Hawaii probably will stop their mask restrictions. But I doubt that they'll stop the quarantining and the vaccine mandates for visitors. I doubt that. They're pretty strong on that still. So we'll see.

And maybe that's why they're living the longest. Or maybe not. I mean, it's just because they're out there on a couple of islands. and fish. I don't know. They've got the big problem now. Oh, I can't talk about that. That's part of the game show.

Damn it. Yeah, I know. I know. It's an animal themed game show. And I've got, and Hawaii is in the game show. What's the lie? So I don't want to spoil that.

I may have already spoiled it. Damn it. With MX Platinum, $400 in annual credits for travel and dining, means you not only satisfy your travel bug, but your taste buds too. That's the powerful backing of Amex.

Conditions apply. I could make the next hour on animals, bugs, and artifacts. Okay? I was just looking at, you know, for the show, I have a section for animals, bugs, and artifacts. And it has gotten so big now. I'm going to have to actually do them at some point to get rid of them.

You can't quote me on that. I'm going to have to do them to get rid of them in my animals, bugs, and artifacts section for the show. And that doesn't even get me to the animal-themed What's a Lie game show today. I mean, so if I do What's a Lie, that doesn't really get rid of what I have under Animals, bugs and artifacts.

But it's coming up on on time for What's the Lie game show. So let's roll into it. As it's time for What's the Lie on Chewing the Fat the CTF Game Show What's the Lie?

It's where we have four headlines and one is a lie. Three are correct. That's how that works. We bring a contestant in who then hears the four headlines and tries to choose which one is the lie. Hence, the name of the show, What's the Lie? Our contestant today, Corby, Corby, welcome to What's the Lie? Thanks.

It's great to be here. Always happy to have a just a heart. heartfelt welcome from our contestants, isn't it? Yes, it is. Oh, they're excited to be here and you are too. Corby, you ready to play What's the Lie? I guess. Let's do it. Okay. Now, what we do, Corby, is I'm going to give you four headlines and you have to choose when I'm done telling you the four headlines, which one is the lie? You're aware of the rules and regulations of the game, correct? Yeah, great. Headline number one,

thousands of feral chickens are roaming in Hawaii. A new bill proposes a unique solution to stop them. That's headline number one. Headline number two in our animal-themed What's a Lie, by the way. Two Clydesdales that appeared in early Budweiser commercials broke free at their Missouri breeding facility ranch and attacked a beer delivery truck. Headline number three in our animal-themed once-a-li. Danish police seek info on apparent escaped kangaroo.

Headline number four in our animal-themed once-a-lie games today. Magpies have outwitted scientists by helping each other remove tracking devices. Those are the four headlines. Corby, you've got time to decide what's the lie. Headline number one, thousands of feral chickens are roaming in Hawaii. New Bill proposes a unique solution to stop them. Headline number two, two Clydesdales that appeared in early Budweiser commercials, broke free at their Missouri Breeding Facility Ranch and attacked a beer delivery truck.

Headline number three, Danish police seek info on apparent escaped kangaroo. Headline number four, magpies have outwitted scientists by helping each other remove tracking devices. Corby, have you decided what's the lie? The Clydesdale's? Absolutely correct. Congratulations, you, sir, are a winner today on What's the Lie? Oh boy, what I win? You won a brand new...

Thanks for listening to What's the Live. Brought to you by CTF, a subsub the area of chewing the fat. Can I go home now? Stream and subscribe to more Blaze Media content at theblaze.com slash podcasts. Unwrap holiday magic at Holtrenfrew with gifts that say I know you.

From festive and cozy fashion to Lux beauty and fragrance sets. Our special selection has something for every style and price point. Visit our Holtz holiday shop and store or online at Holtrenfrew.com.