Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 851 | HAPPY ANNIVERSARY OKAY!

Episode Date: April 13, 2022

ELECTRIC SHOCK HELPS WITH WHAT?  LOUIS CK IN THE NEWS…  Monkey alerts…  Gilbert Gottfried dead at 67…  Cameo for me?  My Wedding Anniversary…  Who Died Today: Helmut Huber...  NYC POS POI now Suspect…  Lost story about Instagram model…  Spotify podcast exec leaves...  Airport News: Turnstiles numbers looking good… Secret to not being delayed… Biggest fine so far… TSA finds sword… Drunk runs the gate… Uninvited guest… Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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We get new health news and coverage every day. And some things you think, wow, that is great. I'm glad that they're working on that. Well, researchers, then there's some headlines that you think. No thanks. Researchers believe they have found a cure for premature ejaculation. I know it's a problem for some. I got it.

And, you know, nobody wants it. Okay, I got it. But doctors in Lebanon were able to help one man kick the issue by letting them undergo electric current therapy. How about no? How about no? the medics ran an electrical current through the man's man part and stimulated the nerve and that helped him out so all you got to do is give yourself a little extra electrical current to your and you're good i don't think so no thanks i'm good welcome welcome to chewing the

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only available to you, the chewing the fat listeners, and only for a limited time. $300 off and free shipping at liveouter.com slash jeffy. L-I-V-E-O-U-T-E-R, D-O-T-C-O-M, I won't spell slash and Jeffie, J-E-F-F-F-Y. Live-O-O-O-R-E-F-E-F-E. Terms and conditions apply. Speaking of getting shocked down there, I see where Louis C.K. back in the news again, you know, he just won a Grammy and now everybody's all wound up. How dare they give Louis C.K. a Grammy? Because, you know, he was dropped. I mean, my gosh, he lost everything. And I know. Don't feel sorry for him, Jeff. He was, you know, diddling with himself in front of people.

Yeah, after he asked them. And they all said, okay. And there was a story about one of his friends, we've talked about it before, that said, no, not now, dude, we're having pizza. I mean, that was the deal. So, but he's already apologized for it all and said, hey, they're true. And when you have power over another person,

asking them to look at your man part isn't a question. It's a predicament for them. And the power I had over these women is that they admired me. and I wielded that power irresponsibly. Okay. He's apologized, and now this time he's back, and people are pissed. So the one girl who had called him out before, she is all wound up again.

She said, nobody cares. That's the message this sends, him winning the Grammy. No one cares. she goes on to say that even talking to you right now I know this will not work in my favor but so many people are asking and it's hard when he's in the constant news cycle

I don't think it is hard that's part of the problem right? Oh no stop see that's the kind of stuff that she's talking about everybody thinks she's crazy and she says trust me this is not about the attention right Okay. All right. No problem.

So anyway, congratulations to Louie. He's back in the news again and winning the Grammy and good for him. And I'm guessing now he's picking and choosing the people that he's asking to be able to dittle himself in front of better. It's not just everyone now. It's like we're friends, right? Yeah? Can I go ahead and take care of business for a while? I mean, really? Are you going to say no? Yeah, you probably are. You probably are.

If you're friends, I will say I'm a little disappointed in a lot of my friends. Because I have never had that question asked of me. I know. I'm disappointed. I know some friends that should be on this list. And they're not. I want to, you know, I should have had at least one person in my life. Say, hey, Jeff.

I know we're just sitting here watching a little TV. You mind? Right. Not once. Not once has this happened to me. Very disappointing. Hey, Jeff. But see, this is different.

This is now, now, I'm not saying I haven't been propositioned. I'm just saying that I haven't been asked if they could just, you know, take care of themselves. Oh, I want to just electric shock the whole thing and be done with it. Do you? Do you? I got to stop talking about this stuff. No, seriously, stop playing the music. You're just making it harder.

Wait. Okay. I should not have signed up for the headline monkeys in my Google Alerts. All right. So I've got a number of things that I, you know, have to Google searches for the headlines of these stories. But I was getting, I was finding these great monkey stories. And I thought, well, you know, I'll just, I'll let Google Alert send me the monkey

stories. Huge mistake. And there are monkey stories on top of monkey stories, on top of monkey stories. Every day. I didn't realize that. But like today, it's just one story. Like I get the Google Alert and it's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, seven of the eight, nine, ten stories in the Google Alert email, all on the same story. And so it's just different entities reporting on the same story.

Monkeys can sense their own heartbeat. Oh. okay great they're aware of their pulse which may aid future psychology research oh really yeah because this is a new study from the california national primate research center man do i love to california primary California Primate Research Center So we know that they can perceive their own heartbeats

Which is a kind of animal model For interception It refers to the ability To sense the internal state Of one's body When your heart races Are breathing and quickens So it's important

That this work gets done And it's really good For future psychiatric And neuropsychiatric And neuro-psychiatric research as dysfunctions in interception are associated with anxiety, depression, and Alzheimer's disease. Okay, great.

All right. Don't harm them when you're studying them. Don't electro-shock their brains to figure out if they can feel pain. I don't electroshock those things either. Don't do it. Okay. But I'm just saying every day now I get these damn Google alert emails with at least. Maybe that's their limit.

Maybe it's just 10 a day they say. on me. I don't know. I just, I had enough of it. I'm going to have to take them away from my Google Alert. I think I'm sick of seeing the monkey stories. Because then we get into, see, this one is, well, no, they're all. Some Sultan bought a painting of Parliament full of monkeys, apes, and frogs. Okay, that's the only story in the monkey Google Alert that isn't about the heartbeat. Got to make that go away. Got to.

All right, let's go to the break room. I got to, it's fine. Let's go to the break room. I need something cold to drink and start thinking about something different. Maybe. So good. Okay, so we have sad news today. We found out yesterday that Gilbert Godfrey.

Dead. Oh, we found out yesterday that he died. And that today he is still dead. at the age of 67 years of age. Very sad news. I guess he's been sick for a while. He's been struggling, according to representatives and the family. I mean, they posted they were so sad.

That's where, you know, I mean, he was a big time social media user, so they posted they were so sad and continued to laugh. I mean, and everybody, you know, has the picture of Bob Sagitt, Louis Anderson, and now it's right in here. Are you enjoying yourself? Okay, so. I'm leaving all this in, by the way. This is just for you.

I don't understand. You know, I'm in this. This can't be part of the show. But I'm just saying that I have my phone that I was looking to actually read the one post from the Godfried family from my phone. And then it starts, I get this. Oh, it's not there now. What? Wait a minute.

Let me clock out of this. My back out of the screen. What is happening? Now it's not there. It needs an electric shock. It needs to happen. Okay. I don't know why it's doing that.

When I hold up my phone in a relative proximity to this microphone, I get that noise, which now doesn't happen. What is happening? But I love the fan. I'll get back to the story now of Gilbert Godfrey. Although today is a sad day for all of us, please keep laughing as loud as possible in Gilbert's honor. I love that very much.

Rest and peace, Gilbert. Now, you know, Gilbert did the thing when he was hawking being on cameo all the time. And I think I need to replace him. I think I need to have the Jeff Fisher Chewing the Fat Cameo Channel section bit, part of, whatever they call it. what do they call it you on cameo is what they call it oh okay good all right fine

but he would do he would you know you could you can hire him to say anything and I mean anything and I think I want to take that job from him I think that'd be fun to have you can say whatever you want just email me I don't know how much I charge for that

probably what like a quarter I could probably rake in a buck or two which you know There's no stopping me going to the bank with that money. And you just, you know, you can charge for calling people, shut up! Telling people happy birthday, shut up. I realize, oh my gosh.

Like a side note from Gilbert Godfrey. Today is the 13th of April, 2022, for those of you listening and not listening live. But April 13th, it's my anniversary of my wedding. anniversary to this wife. Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary.

That's my cameo. I just wanted to wish you happy anniversary. I'll do that for you. I'll wish your significant other, your spouse, happy anniversary for you in that way. Hey, uh, Jeff just wanted me to pipe in and tell, you happy anniversary bitch

it just seemed like yesterday I could do that I could take I could take Gilbert's place because remember we played his Christmas one where the guy was giving a present to his

sister he gave his present his sister a present every year and he upped it this year adding Gilbert into the bit right so he gave her her present which was an award with a little snow globe on the Christmas snow globe with an award on it. And he had Gilbert present it to her, you know, via cameo video for the giveaway.

It was awesome. Hi, it's Gilbert Gottfried Nitchis from McKenna and it's coming from Jared. Now, first of all, Merry Christmas. Merry, take a deep breath. Merry Christmas. Now, I want you to open up your gift. Okay? Okay.

I open your gift. She pulls the box up. And now, congratulations on being the world's biggest bitch. So, Merry Christmas. You, you, McKenna, you are the biggest bitch. Awesome stuff. Awesome stuff. And then that's the Snow Globe.

with the award on it that says that she's the biggest bitch that is hysterical and just to be clear he can't do that anymore i don't know if he's got any recorded in the can they can release them you know make it into an album the unheard cameos from gilbert just an idea for the family you know go ahead and sell it gilbert'll be all for it and then i saw where i got an email okay so I saw that he died and I posted it on all my social media accounts, Jeffrey JFR, Twitter, Jeff Fisher Radio, Instagram, and Facebook. I may have even thrown it up on Getter, but I'm not sure about that. I don't recall.

But then I get an email from Corby say, one of Jerry's kids. And the story was Gilbert's death. And I was like, what the hell is he talking about Jerry's kids? And I deleted it because I already knew. I already knew Gilbert's dead. I got it. Perhaps you should follow me on one of my social media accounts that you'd know. But then, okay.

So, but I appreciate it. And just like I appreciate you, the listener to chewing the fat, sending me things to email chewing the fat at the blaze.com or messaging to be on Facebook and Twitter about stories that you've read or heard, I appreciate it because sometimes I haven't heard them or seen them. Sometimes. This time, however, I had seen that Gilbert died. And I didn't understand the one of Jerry's kids.

I don't remember Gilbert performing on the old muscular disc muscular dysmuscular. Amorphophallus. Yeah, that telethon. But it's possible? I guess it's possible. And then I already deleted it. So I just moved on. Well, then I find out.

So I see that, you know, it confirmed. I said, he had a heart problem. What are you talking about Jerry's? And I hear this morning I come in, and Keith is talking about with Pat, and we're here looking at the stories for the show, and he mentions Gilbert Godfrey and says muscular dystrophy. And I thought, oh, it wasn't muscular dystrophy. And then I thought, and then I remember Corby's email saying Jerry's kids,

and I'm like, wait a second. What did I miss? So I go back and I read, okay, so he had a heart abnormality called recurrent ventricular tecardia and an arrhythmia, an arrhythmia, okay, tecardia and arrhythmia caused by myotonic dystrophy type 2. Okay. Myoconic dystrophy is a genetic disorder, which is kind of Jerry's kids. progressive muscle wasting and weakness, which predominantly affects the limbs and face,

but can create increasingly dire complications for respiratory skeletal and cardiac muscles. You don't want none of that. I don't want anybody having any of that. However, now I get the Jonah Jerry's kids' jokes. Okay, I apologize. Now I get the Jerry's kids' jokes, and maybe I should have read deeper into the story

and realize that that's a kind of a muscular dystrophy kind of thing. Gilbert Godfrey. Dead. At the age of 67. I mean, that wasn't even who died today. Who died today? I mean, I could just say I just did it. Or about I could give you a who died today too, all right?

Who died today? Susan Lucci's husband. Yeah, now Susan's still with us, but hubby is not. Her husband, 84, Helmut Hoover. Dead at 84. It's a tremendous loss. Is it? I mean, yes, it is, of course.

Very sad news. They were married for, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say a long time. so technically they were married in 1969 so I'm right 1969 that's a long time I mean my I've been married to this wife 20 years

this is our anniversary I gotta remember that 20 years is 20 years yeah 20 years my anniversary Happy anniversary okay but that's not that's not you know that's not 1969

that was a long time and he was actually a fascinating guy They've been married since 69 He spoke a bunch of languages And it talks about how he was their manager And a CEO of their Pine Valley productions So and she is I mean Susan is

75 now I mean He's not looking bad for 75 I'm just saying I'm just saying he spoke several languages And it says here I'm sure it has nothing who do with the publicist speaking.

He improved his English by watching John Wayne and Humphrey Bogart movies. Okay. Still dead at the age of 84 years of age. Helmut Hoover. Susan Luchie's

husband. That's who died today. I was kind of sad, actually. It's the matcha or the three ensemble of Cado's Siforah of the fact that I just deniches that I'm energize

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ten people shot dozens injured in New York City during the morning rush hour yesterday. And the man wearing a gas mask through smoke canisters, open fire in the Brooklyn subway. And police are searching for Frank James, who apparently left a credit card and a key to a U-Haul van at the scene. Uh, not too smart. And so he's still at large. Amazing, amazingly.

I guess the feed for the cameras and the Brooklyn subway are tied into the Epstein cameras because just gone. Oh, no, we don't have them. Sorry, we have eight billion cameras in New York City. Yeah, but those weren't working.

Got tired to luck. And I wish we had them, but we just don't. So anyway, all day yesterday and this morning, he was a person of interest. Person of interest. Robert James Person of interest Mayor Eric Adams

Who finally showed up by the way I know he has COVID And I only took him three or four hours yesterday After the shooting to show up And make a comment Nice of him He is now a suspect Rather than merely a person of interest

Okay He remains at large And is now considered a wanted fugitive That's not good you could quote me out that. If you're a person of interest, you might be able to just, hey, we want to talk to you.

Why don't you come with us? If you're a wanted fugitive, you're going. And thankfully, no, I mean, as bad and as horrific and as evil as this was yesterday, no one died. At least not yet.

I mean, there were some people in critical condition, but they said yesterday that there was nothing life-threatening on the ones that were, you know, that were injured severely from the shooting. So good. I mean, that's,

that's good news. Is it? Yeah, it was only shot 10 times. That's not funny, Jeff. Stop. It's not funny. But if, I mean, you have to feel that as long as you're alive,

then it's good. You have to feel that way, right? Right. You have to. If I see one more monkey story about feeling their heartbeats, I swear to you. There's going to be an issue.

There's going to be an issue if I see that, man. I can't take much more of the monkey story, man. And then because I was looking for Gilbert Godfried this morning, because I remember doing the story of Gilbert, and I found him was in my January emails from the show sheet where we talked about his cameo and saying Merry Christmas to McKenna and awarding her the award that she won.

There was an email from January that I never saved to my show sheets. It was just something that I had sent to myself, a story that I wanted to read and possibly due for the show. There it sits. It's still in my email. I only have like, I don't know,

80 to 90,000 emails, something like that. So, you know, there's close to sometime in January because it was in the gills. Gilbert Godfrey, neck of the woods when I searched them. There's a California TikTok model. I don't know if she's a model anymore. I don't remember putting her in the Who Died Today pile, so she's probably still alive on her Instagram and TikTok channels.

Her name is, what's her TikTok channel? Amorpha Fallis. Yes, at Amorpha Phalas. and the reason the story was written, though, it's a California model. She asked the question, doesn't everyone add sugar to their pizza? Oh, no, baby.

No, oh, no. And so there's all kinds of footage where she puts a spoonful of sugar on a slice already of this Canadian bacon pie. and then there's she's got pineapple on it which no thank you I'm not a pineapple person

okay I know that some people all of a sudden put pineapple on and all of something they're a pineapple person am I a pineapple person now I'm a pineapple person now no I am not okay I'm not turning into a pineapple person but no and then

apparently she puts sweetener in the mariner sauce she puts like saccharine or sweet and low in the mariner sauce. No, baby. No, no honey. And then we scroll down into the story where it's showing pictures of Amorphophilis.

And, uh, Oof, California model is a stretch. So go ahead and just keep putting sugar on whatever you want to put it on. Because, and according to this I know that it's and there's something for everybody but she's got like 7 million followers

on Instagram so I don't know if she's got any maybe she has a only fans or Patreon account and you know these are you know these snaps on Instagram and TikTok are to get you over there

I bet you that's what that is so if you're you know one of the 7 million see a snap come through and go, oh yeah, today's the day I want more of that. And then you head over to the only fans. Possible, I don't know.

Saskin. Because I will say. No, I'm not going to say that. Never mind, I was going to say, I will say. And then I edited myself, what is wrong with me? So I don't know if this is good news or bad news for Spotify's podcasting business. but the guy Courtney Holt who was in charge of Spotify's

podcasting business and he's responsible for you know ink in the deal with the Obama's Prince Harry and Megan which have done beautiful right I mean that boomed I had Joe Rogan uh he just left he's out have a nice day

oh okay now I know I know know they all stood behind Joe and they're all excited about the queen. I mean, the princess and Harry and the Obamas and we just love them. But the guy that fought for him all is out. So we'll see. I guess he's going to go be some big shot over at Gimlet. G-I-M-L-E-T.

No, don't play the stupid amorphof of Phelis. But that's a studio. And he apparently was part of the acquisition team prior to the Spotify deal. So anyway, we'll just see if that means any other big changes over there at Spotify. Because I know, you know, you've got that guy leaving. And there's shakeups over at Twitter, thanks to Elon.

I mean, those people are all wound up. They don't know what to do. They're beside themselves. beside themselves that Elon has taken over. So, all right, good luck. God bless. That's what I say. Black Friday is here at IKEA and the clock is ticking on savings you won't want to miss.

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Shop now at Icefield. IKEA.ca slash Black Friday. IKEA. Bring home to life. So yesterday we talked about the new, the busiest airports around the world. And we're back, baby. US of A. We're back. We knocked the other airports offline.

And, you know, Atlanta number one, DFW number two. And so they apparently, according to the index from the airline flight, U.S. consumers spent $8.8 billion on airline flights in March, up 28% over pre-COVID-19 levels. Oh. So they really, I mean, we'll see if they're, I don't know that those numbers are actually worth it. Let's look at the, we have not looked at the TSA turnstile numbers in a while. I've come to think of it. See how good are they?

So according to this, today is Wednesday the 13th. My anniversary, like I said, I keep saying, and I've got to remember them. On Monday, they had 2,181,446 people through the turnstile. And in 2019, they had 2,484,000, almost 2,500,000. almost 2 million, 500,000. In 2020, yeah, this was one of the low times in 2020, man. They were down to 100,000 people. I mean, nobody was flying, man.

Oof, I mean, was that an airplane? Nope, those are parked at the airport. Oh, okay. And then last year they had one and a half million. So they're climbing, they're getting back. They're back to it. Awesome. I mean, they're talking about how much stuff they're finding through TSA again.

now we just had somebody that had a sword in their cane and it was confiscated and I thought well okay so you know he tried to sneak it through you know what if a guy with a sword in a cane

if he can take down a plane with that you got me come on now now you don't want anybody to get hurt so they you know they found him now he claimed I had no idea that there was a blade

I didn't know that there was a blade in there. Right. But good answer. And just stick to it. They searched them again, you know, pat him down, probably gave them every orifice probe, and they got him on the plane.

He took out of the same. Go ahead. You're fine. But they, you know, they kept the sword and the cane. I don't know if you'll be able to buy it at the used TSA goods store, or if that just goes into the into the hall display case.

as things that have been confiscated. I also see where the American Airlines passenger who spat on the crew and then tried to open the door mid-flight, which I don't think you can really do anyway. I don't think that happens. You can try, though, and they did. And so now they've been given, like, the biggest fine ever.

It's been hit with an 81,950, $50 fine. That's the largest ever issued by aviation regulators. There was a second fine of $77,272. Was issued to a Delta Airlines passenger who bit a fellow traveler after trying to hug and kiss another one. Oh, man, that's got to be a good hug and a kiss for 77,000. Oh, yeah. That's the only fancy.

No, anyway. So we've got that going on. see where a the one flight from where were they flying from gosh darned I got to find this stupid story the jet blue flight from Cancun

multiple passengers captured on video arrest me I don't want to go back up in the air so apparently they had trouble landing amid stormy conditions at Newark

Liberty International Airport Shaking up passengers were informed by the pilots that the plane would take off once more for its scheduled destination. So they took off and then, oh, no, we brought it back down. And then they sat there out on the tarmac for a while. And the passengers are like, uh, we've been out here for hours and we don't want to take off again. And you can arrest me about it. We're leaving. And they never did let them off.

They stop me once you're in it, you're in it, baby. You can't quote me on that. That is a Jeff Fisher, Turing the Fat. Quote, once you're in it, you're in it. And so they finally took off. It was only, they were only six hours into a three-hour flight. And so it was a dangerous time to fly. They just couldn't do it.

Oh, okay. Sure, fine, no problem. I mean, the pilots are, I'm going to go out on a live here. The pilots are pretty good. So if they're not considering taking off, that's probably a good choice. But, I mean, how long? Obviously, you wait three hours. You're not getting off the plane.

All right. We're going to take off. We're going to, we're not, you can't leave the plane. That'd be a tough one. I mean, there's got to be, there's only so much time you can wait on that stupid tube out of the tarmac before going crazy. Right. I mean, we've all been, we've all landed. There it is again.

That's my phone. What's happening? Okay, we've got to see what's going on with my phone. What is happening with that? No one is. is calling? Is this some is this some sort of Google

I watch? I think that's that's what it is. If you're watching me, I'm recording chewing the fat now. Oh, they went away. Okay, yeah. Take that. This something has got to be done

with either this microphone or my phone. Or me. I don't know which, but something has got to be done, okay? And then I see, we might as well stay on the airport. I see where a suspected, well, I'm guessing that it's not really suspected anymore, a suspected drunk driver arrested here in Dallas at Lovefield, not the mothership DFW, but, you know, over there at Love Field in Dallas.

He drove through some field gate crashed into a couple of planes and drove into a private hangar Yeah, we got a little crash on the east side Lovefield We got a little crash coming through, a truck driver coming through there What's going to happen? Yeah, well, he failed the field sobriety test

And yeah, no kidding. And then they transported him to the hospital due to his level of intoxication. So apparently, according to Love Field, there were no impact on any flights Saturday morning. So, I mean, that must have been, it was like 3 a.m. I don't think there's a lot of flights going off at 3 a.m. anymore. I think the earliest flights are, you know,

except for the UPS and the FedEx and the Amazon planes that land by my home that come and go at 3 and 4 a.m. every day. Which I'm okay with because I know that one of those packages could be mine. And I'm happy. No problem. Good to go. But most of the commercial airlines, they don't leave until like 5 or 6 a.m. now. There's no, there's not a lot of the red eye flights anymore, which is, you know, a little disappointing if you wanted to fly.

Because that's the time to fly. If you want to fly, man, there's a little helpful hint from Jeff Fisher and chewing the fat. get the early flight out. Don't wait around. Because if something happens, let's say you've got the 8 a.m. flight. Not early enough, man. Get that 5.36 a.m. flight.

Get out of there. Because if something happened, let's say a drunk crashes through the gate and into a hangar and causes a delay. That is the rest of the day, man. Rest of the day, you're done. Every airport in America is back. backlogged because of that guy.

Because they start deadpanning those flights. But the 6 a.m. flight? He's already gone, baby. You're already in the air. And you're looking back at the guy crashing through the gate going, ha ha. Yeah, I'm already on the air. Good to go.

You're welcome. Just a helpful hint from me. What is it? Why did you come in here? Every time he gets done with something, Rob thinks he can just, Walk in here. What?

I was just asking how you were doing, Jeffrey. I didn't get a chance to talk to you today. How are you doing? Fine, thank you. How's your day doing so far? That's a different show. I know. That doesn't mean I can't throw it out here.

It's a different show. Get out. Why are you even here? You came in here. I'm celebrating. You came in here because the show that you produce on top of the other show, the Pat Graham-on-Lis show,

It was done early. I know. Well, then get the hell out. But if I leave, I don't get paid. So now I've got to figure out. I can guarantee you, I am not paying you to sit here. I promised you that. Wait, you pay?

You pay people? No, that's my point. Oh, darn. Thinking, how do I get a gig with you then? To sit on my butt and do nothing. You just have to be me. See you a Friday. I didn't think he'd ever leave.

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