Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 87 | Something IS COMING!, 1,000 Amputated Brazilian Penises & Barbie Turns 60 | Guest: Mike Daugherty

Episode Date: April 29, 2019

It's MONDAY and Jeffy has stories for you from Brazil, Toy World and the U.S. Also if you are looking for a business idea you might want to open a soap store in Brazil. SOMETHING IS COMING! Also Kris Cruz is BACK! MEASLES OUTBREAK ANALYST: Michael Daugherty, is President & CEO of LabMD, an Atlanta-based clinical and anatomic medical laboratory with a national client base. LabMD specializes in analysis and diagnosis of blood, urine, and tissue specimens for cancers, micro-organisms and tumor markers. He has 15 years experience in diagnostic medicine.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Want to know what makes Amazon probably the best company in America in today's world? Most companies go to make changes and you think, oh, man, now I've got to put up with that. Amazon is now cutting its prime two-day shipping guarantee. I know. Look at Chris Cruz. That's immediately where your mind goes to. Oh, no, what? I'm sorry, no. Immediately you're thinking, what?

They're cutting its prime two-day shipping guarantee? Yes. You know what they're doing? They're making it one day. That, my friends, is what makes Amazon Numero Uno. I should probably buy some stock or something. I mean, Bezos is busy fighting with the divorce.

That's just double me. not to own the part of that company. A little bit about crime done wrong, but really what's going on out there on the roads in America. We have something that I've wanted to do for quite some time, and I just haven't done it.

And so, apparently you're not supposed to do it. But this man has his mannequin dressed up riding with him in his car. Oh, I chauveling. And she's got the seatbelt on, she's got the shirt on, she's got the hat on. Yeah, no, you can't be

doing that in the carpool lane. No, you can't. But is there a difference between the car pool lane and the express lanes? Okay, so if I, like this guy's going through the carpool lane where they want multiple humans riding in a car

to save gas. That's what they're saying. Yeah, to save the world. Yeah, to save the world. Yeah, that's a good. It's a safe the world. But in the, in the express They say multiple passengers get you lower prices. I mean...

Do you do that? What's that? Use the HOV for lower prices when you buy yourself in a car? Well, that's what I'm saying. See, I think. Like, I like to be, for instance, there's times when I travel with my kids, if they're riding in the back, I don't know if I get the discount for that. I forgot to look. I don't think I do.

So in order for you to get a discount, I find out. I found out how you could get a discount. You have to download an app called... This is for the Texas Express Lanes? But I mean, my kid's right in the back. This is what you're talking about. Yes, yes. This is for when you go into the express lane

and say, HOV, instead of being 17 cents, it's like six cents. Whatever it is. Whatever it is for, you know, two passengers. Yes. So you have to download the app Drive-On. That's the Drive-on Texas Expressway. Okay. And then what you do is, when are you going to have, you know, so for example, on mine, I have a schedule where when those periods come on, is automatically turns on the HOV lane on my car.

And it tells Texas that I have more than two people in my car. So even at the times that I have my wife in the car, I don't get the break. No, you're not getting the break because you have to turn it off. That is illegal. And now I'm pissed. Yeah. And I thought I was still getting the break with when I have my kid or my wife or. Or someone I'm giving a ride to.

How do they know? In the front seat of the car. They're taking a picture of me. No, baby, no. We're taking a picture of my plate and my car. Oh, baby, no. You have to download the app. See, like right now, as we're recording this podcast,

I have 10 hours until the HOV discount ends. And I could go through any HOV discounted expressways and get that, you know, HOV. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That is ridiculous. What's the app name again? HOV. Hold on.

Drive-on text. The drive-on text. Said that to me. But that's ridiculous. I can't believe people would do that. What's it called again? Drive-on-Texpress. Because you know where the time is

that I'm going to be right with other people? When? Monday through Sunday. 24 hours, seven days a week, man. That's what I do. do all of it yeah look my now how do they if they if they if you put in your schedule that how do they know you're

they're telling the truth or not they don't they don't is the honor system just because you went out of your way to get this app that app has got to be worth more money to them than the savings they're giving you so that all our information is going to Amazon and Google and Facebook well you are putting every other damn company in America

the information that you put in there is the same information that you put for your past. That's what I mean. It's where they're selling that. Yeah. Absolutely. Yes. Yes.

So it's got to be a way that the state is. It's making, yes. They're making money off of that. Plus it gives them a better example of who's with you at what times. You know, even though I know we're, you know, everybody's going to stretch the truth a little bit. But there are some times when you're actually have your children or your family with you that you're riding on those lanes on the express lanes. holy cow and it's 50% off the text press HOV you know that's how much it is

so you take in like I said it's wow it's 17 cents you're paying you know six by the way just to be clear it's not 17 cents I'll be clear about that okay I'd be willing to foot the bill at 17 cents well now they take 40 bucks right and now they automatically don't even get me started on that it was I gave them the okay for the 20 for the 20 yes

They didn't ask about the 40. They didn't ask. That must have been in the fine print of the 20, saying that whenever we decide that we want to take more, we can. Because now you've given us the right to take anything we want out of your account on a monthly basis. Thank you, good day. Because all of a sudden it was like, oh, hey, we're taking 40 now. You start getting low on your account.

No, they don't make the upload chewing the fat sound. Wait. No. No, their sound, when they take the phone, they take the, it's like the electric chair. Take the 40 out. I mean, that's nice of them. So the toll right here, that if you leave like over here, it's 14 cents. And it's not 14 cents.

I'm freaking looking at it. It's 14 cents. It is not. Because the H.OV lane. It's not 14 cents. It's not. I see them put the cost up on the screen. Which one are you looking at?

The regular price or the HOV price? I don't know. Exactly. We're done. We're done. I want to start talking about another story now, but now I'm just really angry at the state of Texas at the whole HIV,

making me download another app, selling my information, the whole damn thing. I'm going to catch HIV from going through that thing by having to get this app. Careful, it might cut your penis if you go to Brazil. Oh, no kidding. The head of the new president of Brazil,

who is, by the way, supposed to be like the Trump of South America, right? He was saying, hold on. Where is he saying? Oh, I've got two Brazilian stories today. Geez. Oh, I got the other collapse story, too, in Brazil, too. That's it.

And I haven't even got to the other roadway story. I'm not, right, we'll get back to the Brazil story. Because I'm going to go to the, I'm so pissed at Texas right now. And their HOV and the whole app thing, I cannot tell you. Charging me if it's then it's not 17 cents. I don't care what he says. 14. So the police in Michigan are appealing the people who picked up some,

money on the road to turn it back in. Yeah, that's not going to happen. So apparently a truck, this guy, he's got $30,000. He's got $30,000 in a box. He doesn't put it in his truck. He leaves it on the bumper in the back of his truck. Drives off and falls off. Money flying everywhere.

Now, people are stopping and picking up the cash as I would. as any true person would do. You see money flying around. I'm stopping. I'm picking some up, right? I don't care. Usually it's coming from a one of those armored trucks, which then, you know, you're questionable. It's questionable.

Isn't it like the federal? It's not questionable for me. I would stop and get it. There's no heartbeat. I'm taking it. And unless they come, excuse me, we have a picture of, yes. Who is this? This is the FBI.

Oh, no, no, no, no FBI. No, no, no, no, FBI here. No, I'm the FBI. No, no, no, no, me not speak English, no. We're here because we got you on camera. Oh, camera, no, I don't know, no camera. No camera here. Picking up money from the road that spilled out of the armist.

No, no, no, no, no, no Benjamin Franklin's here. No, no, no, no Benjamin Franklin. So unless that happens, I'm not turning it in. But this wasn't even that. This was some guy. So, he, they ask, oh, can people, uh, People have to turn it back in. I'm sorry?

No? Turn what in? So, thank you. So they found $2,500 of the 30 grand. They found $2,500. Well, he's lucky he found something. You are lying. He's got a little bit of it back.

So they're saying that by, they're saying that after this happened and they asked some, like a couple of teenagers turned in $630. That's what I found. A woman gave. him 3,900 bucks back. No, honey, no, no Abla. No Abla. No, Able Spanish.

No Abla. And the teenagers for 630, are you looking for good grace? Were you not supposed to be there? Were you doing something else? So you had to turn the money in so that nobody knew you were out there on that road. Why would you, as a teenager, 630 bucks? That's a millionaire. I'm deep pocketing that.

I don't care. Where did you get that? I found it. I found it. I found it. And that's what you actually did. I found it. Okay.

So the police. are asking people to turn it. Yeah, that's not going to happen. Oh, no. And thank you for asking police, but no. How about we write that off? You just write that off. Isn't he covered by the FDIC?

Probably not, because that's not a bank. He already took it out of the bank, right? The covers doesn't go after. No. Oh. So sad. There's no coverage. FDIC, man.

No, but I took it out of the bank. Yes, we know. Yeah. So the FDIC isn't going to help me? Sorry. Yeah, sorry, that's not going to happen. I mean, so the man leaves the cash on the back of his truck. That's not my fault.

That's his stupid. That is not my fault. That's his fault. Yes. I'm sorry, and I'm sorry that this happened to you. I truly am. I mean, I'm very sorry that this happened to you. And I would be, I would ask people to turn it back in if it were me too.

I would say. But deep inside, deep inside, you know, you're not getting it. No. And I'm sorry. He's lucky that the public took it. What if? I don't know. What's that thing called forfeiture?

Civil forfeiture. Civil asset forfeiture? Right. What are you doing with 30 grand? I'm sorry. How come the police aren't asking him about that? Thank you. Why is he with $30,000 in cash in a box?

Well, nobody's asking about that. Maybe they did. But it's not the story. But I'm not giving the money back. I'm sorry. And that's the only reason they want it back so they can take it themselves. Thank you. They're not getting it back.

Were you out there? Don't you drive that road every day? Yep. And one of our listeners knew what the circus. She lives next to the highway and I was so upset at her that she didn't go to get money. It's free money. Yeah, but it's only $30,000. Oh, sorry that $30,000 doesn't mean anything to you.

But us poor people down here, $30,000 is a lot. I know, but if I could get, you know, $600, that's a lot. It is if you're there. If you're there, you go, oh, is that money flying around? You stop. You get it. But to drive out of your way, no, by that time, you get that you've wasted

wasted time and energy. You're not getting anything. Maybe it might pick up a $10 bill or something. $10 a $1.5. Yeah, but it costs you that much to drive there. It's $30,000, $30,000. $30,000. It's nothing.

Speaking of $30,000, being nothing. So I go to the movies this weekend. And if I hear, if I hear another state federal representative, talk about price gouging when storms come through this country, when we have hurricanes, when we have tornadoes,

when we have winter storms, and they talk about places price gouging people, if I talk, if I hear that again, I'm going to, I will explode. So I take my daughter to see a movie this weekend, not the Avengers. Everyone else was at the theater to see the Avengers. We were going someplace else. So I wasn't concerned about how to, having a seat. So we get there and we and we're waiting in line to the at the theater to get,

you know, you can't go to just walk in to see a movie. You've got to pick up some food and drinks to take it. I don't think you have to. No, you have to. It's a law. They don't even let's in the building. However, they've upped the ante on this. They've up the ante on the, the law of you getting food and drink and must see a movie, which I'm going to start deep. I'm just going to start bringing my own. Okay. So, You pay for the movie And I don't even remember What the tickets were

It was under 30 grand I don't keep track So It's the usual price for a movie Whatever it is You know It's five bucks You're seven or eight dollars

It was like 13 or 14 bucks You know whatever That's what you pay Anything you know The tickets Anything under 10 bucks For a movie on the weekend That's what you're gonna pay

Somewhere in there Especially if it wasn't The Avengers Right Right This movie was on his last run You know This is the last weekend I think that it's showing

or whatever. So anyway, and my daughter really wanted to see it. Father daughter date. I'm a sucker for her saying, I really want to see this, but it's the last weekend

and then it'll be out. It'll come out next week. We'll be able to get it at the house and we won't have to go any. No, Dad, I want to see it at the theater. Not the same. With Hugh. Oh, shut up.

She got you with you, didn't she? Not even. He's lucky I brought her along. Anyway, so we get the theater. And we get her ticket. So we go and say, okay, we'll go up and get something. All right.

So, I don't know, A large popcorn. Okay. An icy. Okay. A soda. What size so I see? Large.

Okay. We're getting, you're shopping with me. Sorry, I forget that I was with the fishers. Sorry. 30,000 is, you know. So, large popcorn. Okay, sorry. Large icy.

Large soda. Skittles. Skittles. The bag thing. The regular size of skittles? No, it wasn't. It was a bigger bag. Bigger bag.

Okay. I like 30 bucks. Yeah, they'll get you. What? Plus the tickets. You're already $50 a day. I mean, that is, I mean, we've been going to the dine in places where they bring you food and I'm willing to spend, you know. Oh, yes, that's different.

I'm willing to spend $30 grand at those places. That's what they get for it. When they're bringing me a burger and fries and a root beer float to my seat. Yes, I give you $50. And here's $30,000. Have a nice day. 30 grand. Yes, it makes sense.

Thank you. But when I'm walking in. to a joint and I have to carry it to the theater? AMC or Cynemark? AMC. Oh, it's a big. AMC.

I'm sorry. And I don't want, listen, I don't want AMC to get mad at me and say, who's a lawyer? 28 something. Oh, that's close to 30 than to 20. Thank you. I mean, I might as well just throw, I threw the change on the carpet. Let's just take it all. So I say to the guy, I say to the guy, ooh, he gives me the price.

That's 20. I was like, how much? $28, sir. $20. something, I was like, holy crap. And he goes, I know. He goes, I know. Well, then fix it.

Sir, we don't do that. Corporate. I just work here. I was not anything to do with that. But I was amazed. I mean, I really was amazed. That is unbelievable to me that. Especially if you're not getting...

A popcorn, a couple of sodas and skittles, almost 30, just under $30. And it's weird because... That's outrageous. For those 30 bucks, I could get a nice burger with soda and a ruby flow delivered to me. That's outrageous. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. And it would have been cooler than it was in this too. because AMC, I don't know what the deal is if they forgot to turn the AC on. It wasn't the fires

of hell, but it was, it wasn't. My daughter brought a blanket didn't have to use it. That's how not cold it was. You could quote, that's how not cold. It might have been warm to other people. To me, it was not cold. That's amazing. The movie was fun. I got to be with my daughter. But that's not the point. The point. is $20. For four things. Four things. Four things are just snacks.

There's not a food. So we're leaving and my daughter says, I wonder if they let me have a refill on this. Oh, hell yes. They will. Don't even ask. You just go up there and refill it. Yes.

Well, shouldn't I ask? Nope. My daughter's trying to be nice. I'll just ask. Nope. You won't. Just go refill it. Somebody says something to you.

I'm standing right here. Just go for refil. Oh, yeah, we're going to stand here. You're going to drink about 10 of them. We're not leaving. We'll talk to these people in line for the. Avengers for the next hour. All right, we'll go to Brazil real quick.

I know I teased Brazil here, so we'll go to Brazil real quick. All right, so the head of Brazil, the Donald Trump of South America, says that a thousand penises are amputated every year due to bad hygiene. If you'd like to make a little money, send soap and water to Brazil and just put it on the market. Let them set up a roadside table. It says soap and water and you're going to sell it left of them. Apparently they don't have it in Brazil. Now, according to this, it's really not hygiene. Yes. It's more HIV and cancer and other diseases that are going on, which actually makes sense. You got a giant country. I'm sure in America, that we want to think about it,

but I'm sure that there are a few penises being amputated here in America in which we're going to have to look up now. I'm not even going to play any music. I'm just going to stop talking. And then when we find out how much it is, we're coming back. Of course, we thought it would be faster than what it is. So maybe I will start talking again. So we're just trying to figure out how many people in America have their penises amputated.

I bet it's not as much. I'll tell you what, now that I think about it, now that I'm thinking about it, don't tell me a number yet. All right. So Brazil says this guy says he has a thousand. due to bad hygiene, poor hygiene. And it's really cancer and HIV. So I bet in America, though, we have enough medical attention

to the safety of male penises that we're not losing them as much. Although we've got a lot of people, man. We've got, what, 400 million here in the U.S. now? That's a lot of hanging around. You could quote me on that. All right, so how many? Sorry, there's a picture that come up

No, you do not want to see diseased No, oh my friend, no, don't look at those, man But how does it work? Okay I don't want to see it Don't show it to me Don't hold that up to the camera, holy cow People aren't chewing the fat don't want to see that

I don't care if it's a medical thing or not Don't look, turn your head away from that you don't want to see seriously let me see that again though I want to see what it actually looked like so how many what's the number no I didn't mean it I was just joking I don't want to see it again

No I'm trying to find the number I know that's what you're trying to do How about doing it? This is not good to have you back by the way I'll tell you that This is the case So this is what happens to you on vacation man Jesus let's go

This is one of the things that you're going to have to search for Oh no Because I cannot find any because I have Massachusetts man has first successful penis transplant in 2012

due to a penile cancer oh yeah 64 year old man became the first tell me you don't want to do that the first man in Minnesota to undergo a successful peanut transplant due to cancer

so wow 15 hour surgery well that's not bad 15 hours that's not bad yeah but think about it it's a surgery you got a brand new penis

Okay, numbers for amputations. Doctors perform. They all cares about that. Nobody cares about Lorena Bobbitt cutting off her boyfriends because we all know that story. So what. We know people cut it off. So what? We know wives threaten that against their husbands forever.

That's part of the deal. I know when you sleep. Okay, thanks. Shut up. Make me dinner. Okay. I have 22,000 new cases of penile cancer are diagnosed every year. Okay.

Since 2008. So there's no way that each one, there's no way that all of those are getting amputated. No. And then about 400 of those of those 2,000 cases, they die from penile cancer. Ooh, that's sad. So now you're about 1600. Very good. And we don't know that in that, we don't know.

We don't know if the four, if any of the 400 had an. amputation prior to death. Exactly. So we're still at the 2000 really. Yes, we are. And according to this, peanut cancer is rare in North America. Yeah. And it's diagnosed in less than one in less than one man. Yeah, 2,000 people. There's nothing. There's nothing really. So I don't think we'll have a statistic six on how many. We're not getting close to it. We're not getting close to it. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. And this is from the cancer.org, the American Cancer Society. So that's what we can't find numbers because it's really not there. No pun intended.

Another story out of Rizal. Last week I told you about the comedian who had a heart attack on stage and just died on stage. He went out on stage. He didn't feel good, but he said, I got to do the show. He goes out on stage. He makes a joke about dying in front of him on the stage and then sits down and everybody's like, hey, should we clap?

Is it okay? I mean, is he dying? So the guy walks, the guy in front of the. The club finally walked out on stage after he'd been laying there for a little bit like, I don't know if this is a real joke or not. He said, I expected the comedian to sit up and go, boo. You know, when I came out to check on him, only he couldn't do that because he had a heart attack and was dead. Yeah, sad.

Somebody called 911. I mean, he's gone, right? So in Brazil, another Brazil story, that's where it got me stuck in Brazil here, a Brazilian male model died after collapsing on a catwalk. So he's got Fashion Week in South Paulo, Brazil.

Oh, hello. And he's walking along. Look like he tripped onstage from a shoelaces or something. Just another clumsy model falling on stage. Only, yeah, no, he's just dead. He just dropped over dead.

And there's video footage of this. Hello. I mean, that's sad. that's really sad and of course there's video I mean we'll shoot every fashion thing in the world good thing it wasn't in New Zealand though if you shared the video you'd go to jail they're already arrested one guy in New Zealand

that shared the shooting video ah what yeah two counts he's been trying to find he played guilty to two counts of whatever he violated really bad so they're accusing him of sending the video to an unknown person

and the videos of the shooting of the gunman in at Christchurch in New Zealand. And, I mean, he killed 50 people at two moths. It was horrible. But according to New Zealand's chief censor. I'm sorry? New Zealand's chief censor, David Shanks.

I want that job. They banned both video and manifesto written by the white supremacist. Wait. So they banned it And it's also It's illegal to view Possess Or distribute them

I can't even see it But what if I see it Accidentally What if What if say for an example I'm sitting here And Chris Cruz says Here look

Yeah Oh my it's illegal You go to jail We both go to jail Oh you'll go to jail Oh you'll go to jail I know But you showed it

No Did I see it Did I distribute it? Did I send it to someone else? No, I didn't. But you showed it to me. You're going to jail with me, my friend. There's no way I'm going to jail without you.

That's it. All right, let's go to the break room. I seriously need a drink of soda. And today is most definitely a Coca-Cola zero sugar. Before, I want to tell you, do you see the new Coca-Cola ads that are coming out that they're making such a big deal about? They're print ads, but in the print, it shows that the perfect timing when the bottle is open as open. And the perfect timing when the can has opened, you know, like this. Or the perfect timing when the soda has poured into the glass and it's bubbling and fizzing.

So they've got the, they show this in print ad. And in the ad it says, bet you heard it. Bet you heard that too. and you definitely heard that. And they're perfect Coke as in there. Everybody's making such a big deal about it. See, I think. And I think it looks great.

And of course, I can definitely hear it. And I have opened my own can of Coca-Cola Zero with other great marketing tips for them that they could call. I've got another great ideas for Coca-Cola to use in print ads as well. Call me. Okay. Just call me 888-90-33-33. Somebody will pick up the phone.

email me chewing the fat at the blaze.com or what you can do is subscribe to chewing the fat with Jeff Fisher. Just subscribe. What you can do, Coca-Cola is subscribe and then send it to all your employees and say, hey, you guys should subscribe to Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher. We already did this. I know. I'm doing it again.

They already did it. So why not go to another company that you use? Because I kind of feel like right now that Coca-Cola didn't do this. But you said it, so they did it. Once you subscribe to chewing the fat, and then you can rate and review it and pass it along to your friends and do whatever you got to do.

But most importantly, just subscribe, okay? That's all you need to do. It's most important. Just a couple of quick headlines here in the break room. It looks like finally Mattel is making things work. Barbie, who is 60. Remember we talked about Barbie turning 60 a couple months ago? She just turned 60 this year.

Think of that Barbie 60 years old. And they're trying to make us now have the special, you know, overweight bar. The fat Barbie? Yeah, we're not doing the fat Barbie. Or the handicapped Barbie. I know. We've got the handicapped Barbie. So it's working, though, because they finally are up 7% in the first quarter of this year.

So happy birthday Barbie who's working for them. They're highlighting whatever, you know, fat Barbie handicapped Barbie, running Barbie, jumping up and down Barbie, amputated Barbie. Whatever. They do have the amputated. Whatever, whichever barber you want they've got for you. So good to go. And it's working for them.

Congratulations. You just threw it all into like the space and whatever. That's not good marketing there. It seems to be for them. Yeah. I will say that they're making a big deal out of the sales of the Dow being up 7%. But then they also say, don't forget, it's been nearly two decades of declining figures. So it's up 7%, but they've been down there down about 80% of what they're,

of what they were. So really, we're still in the red. Yeah, we're way in the red, yeah. Way. What you said? They need to come up. They need to come up with new versions of the Barbies. Yeah, they debuted at the New York Toy Fair in 1959.

How old were you? In 59. I mean, I don't remember seeing it there at the toy fair, but I guess they were supposed to be there. I must have missed it. Were you looking at the other one? Congratulations to Avengers Endgame. We brought them up people in line to see them,

1.2 billion. Worldwide. Worldwide. Oh, yeah, they suck then. Yeah, worldwide. Yeah, not the U.S. Because domestically, they got like, like, what, 600 or something million? I don't care.

It was a loser's. I don't think it was 600 million domestically, right? It was only like 350 or four. Yeah, it was low. Yeah. I mean, it only set the record. That's all. Did it be Titanic or Avatar?

Yes. Yes. It's like the number one. man Disney's sitting on some money right now think about it no think about it think about it they got Marvel World

Star Wars world then the Disney world that got Lion King coming out they got Aladdin coming out like and then I saw a story today that phase four for the Marvel world starts with Gardens of the Galaxy 3 yeah

and it says an entire whole new universe yeah nobody dies nobody dies they're all coming back. It's a wonderful thing. I know. What? Can you just... Oh, and they just released the next eight release dates.

They have not said what movies come out, but the next eight release dates, they release them today. And plus, we also, as long as around movies, I know that, along with Private Ryan and Forrest Gump are going to air again on their anniversaries this year. So they're going to make a big to do

with the older movie, too. So not only do we have episode 80, of Episcopal galaxies and Star Wars and whatever damn movie. What's his face has got the Avatar. You know, that's what? Avatar, yes. Let's just remember this, okay? There's still only one Avatar.

True. I know we've had this big talk about what a huge thing and what a huge thing Avatar is and what a beautiful thing is and it's part of Disney. And we're going to have, we've got scheduled avatars from here until the end of time. But there's still only one avatar. All this talk, one avatar. But anyway, you get to look forward to seeing Forest Gump again in June and saving private riot in June as well.

All right. So, uh, welcome to chewing the fat. Uh, we're in the break room and, uh, I just, you know, we've said for quite some time now on this podcast, something is coming. What's going on? What's happening? I mean, if you just look at the headlines, thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. This isn't just for tornadoes and hurricanes and so. This is for, I mean, measles outbreaks in Los Angeles. Five cases announced. More will follow. NYC area families quarantined themselves over measles panic. Health officials issue quarantine at two California colleges. We've got blood-sucking kissing bugs jumping on girls' faces.

Man, I'm telling you, we've spared no expense on the production on this. We've got untreatable Lyme disease going on. What? Oh, wait a minute. We've got untreatable Lyme disease. Oh. I mean, yes, right, it's the beginning. It could be the beginning of the dead.

No question about that. So anyway, I wanted to bring in Michael Doherty. He's the president and CEO of Lab MD. And his company is a, you know, medical laboratory. They analyze blood and urine and tissue specimens from humans all over the country. That's their specialty. And Michael, what is going on? I mean, we've got the – what's happening?

How scared do I need to be? This is an octopus, right? In the sun of the octopus, we start with about 10 years ago when we're going to be like, oh, I think I'll let my politician tell me what to do when I'm sick. I don't know how stupid that is, but I guess I'm going to find out. And now we're down to like the fifth inning of the game, where the entire culture has decided that by going to the Google School of Medicine, they know. So you have many, many examples of utter self-righteous stupidity,

that people actually think that they're so entitled that if they think something is a scientific fact, because they're an existing human being, they're right. Hello, Jenny McCarthy. Thank you. And so you've got idiot after idiot, after idiot, and I'm being really nice. These people that have decided that, you know what? They know what's best. They don't have to go to medical school, and they can, you know, contaminate the rest of us because they know.

You know, we don't learn from history, and we have a media that does not remind people of, you know, iron lungs and tuberculosis hospitals and forced isolation by the community because, you know, it can't run around contaminating people. I mean, at one point, did we not have leper colonies everywhere? I mean, well, that was a... Oh, yeah, that was nothing else. Never, no, sorry. I forget that. I'll take it. I'll bring it up to you.

Never by it. We had, we had that if you knowingly infected someone with the AIDS virus, should go to jail. Yeah, thank you. And President Obama rolled that back for some political tail kissing of the gay community, right? Right. That's what he did it for. The big picture is, look, you've got people.

people politicizing medicine. And because you've gone to the doctor doesn't mean you know medicine. Right. So we have a lot of deciders going on that are dumb and dangerous. And then when the media is wrong, I think we all can agree that they don't immediately have a newsflash that they made a mistake. They bury the story and they don't talk about it. So where are we at now?

I mean, we've got new cases being reported, you know, all over the country, almost daily of what's happening. at what point do we actually reach and say enough is enough? And I don't know necessarily know that mandating, you can't mandate smarts to begin with, but I guess you can, you know, I don't know, when do you reach a point where we box them up? Well, I mean, this is the whole visceral fight within the country right now. I mean, this is the establishment wants political power over everything. They want political power over our income and our health care.

so that they can control us and keep us nice and docile. And so there's a big fight right now about this, right, and pretty much everything. And then they go, oh, there's so much fighting. If we didn't have Trump, we wouldn't have fighting. Wrong. If we didn't have someone that wasn't exposing how corrupt you all are, we wouldn't have fighting. And so where we're at, I'm not optimistic is of one switch going on changing everything. I think we have to understand this is all interrelated.

We have to have accountability for people to choose to allow their children to be infected and infect others. And we have to have to elect people that have the integrity enough to not politicize and exploit medicine and health care. Because here's the thing about medicine that's so perfect. Everyone can get scared about it, but we're all ignorant of it. And most of us are until we're at the end of our lives. And then that's only when we become educated medical consumers. And guess what we're close to when that happens? Death.

So that minority of educated people keeps falling off. So it's easy for politicians to dupe the masses because it all sounds wonderful. Oh, my. I mean, there are people that actually believe that there is autism started by vaccinations because Jenny McCarthy said, though. And do they ever read medical journals so they know that it was debunk years ago? Of course not. Of course not. No, of course not. There's no way to do that. Now, putting that aside, how much of it do we have, you know, I know that we're making it, you know, with our political enemies and political people who are on our side politically, but how much of it has to do with, I mean, we're allowing a lot of people into this country now that, and I, by allowing, I mean, by not allowing, by just letting them infiltrate this country illegally and it's okay.

1400 a day, I believe, was the last number I saw. And they're coming from communities and countries who aren't as up to speed medically as the United States. So they're coming to us not being vaccinated with diseases that are easily spread. Why haven't we had that brought to our attention as part of? Instead of build the wall, build the wall. and we need something to stop sickness? Because I don't believe that people connect the dots enough because I don't believe there's enough story out there to let them understand.

And it's really unfortunate because there's a whole lot of people that just aren't engaged. It's also politically incorrect because the people think, they have rewritten a narrative so that illegal immigration is equal to immigration. And so they think you're a terrible human. Do you believe that we're actually discussing this, that people out there think you're terrible human beings and they will attack you politically because you want to test someone's health

before they enter this country? Right. I mean, what planet are we on? I know, I know. I mean, we want it. We don't even even thinking about not just letting someone in the country, you know, undocumented, not illegal, is agonized. You should be, you should be thrown away.

not the other way around right and and as long as we sit there on our lazy tails and go oh well that's not going to happen much here's the problem doesn't happen much is exactly how it gets in it's a multiplier with disease it's not you know everyone gets sick at the same time it grows so you cannot they like to play this game here's the other thing that cracks me up they don't want you to let anyone in okay but they're all perfectly okay that we all have to stand in line for hours to get on a plane.

No kidding. Oh, that's perfectly fine. But that's for our safety. That's right. That's for our safety. But, you know, someone else has to be checked because they're sick before they get to come into the country that we build and pay for. Oh, no, no, no, no. You're a terrible human being.

Well, you know what? Sign me up for terrible. Yeah, no kidding. Then I'm terrible. They're going to be alive and terrible than dead and, you know, oh, sweet. And that's the same, but that's the same argument that they use for the airlines. I mean, you're absolutely right. That's the same argument.

It's, wouldn't you rather be alive? If we could just stop one terrorist. Okay. But there's words, but it's all the odds, and it's all the numbers and the probability versus the severity. And, you know, it's like it goes all the way. You can't select it. But that doesn't surprise me. I mean, they're only, they only use moral outrage when it works in their favor.

You know, Donald Trump is this and that, but Bill Clinton, we don't discuss that. You know, we'll fill the airwaves with other crap. So I know that we're talking to Michael Doherty, a president, CEO of a Lab MD. I know that you have had your fights over the past, I don't know, a dozen years or so with the government and your, according to them, lack of cyber security for your company. And I know that you've authored a book The Devil Inside the Beltway, the shocking expose. of the U.S. government's surveillance and outreach into cybersecurity. How's that going? Where are we at?

What's happening? So winning against the government means that you get to fight for 10 years. They get to drain you dry, and you get to raise $13 million in pro bono defense, which I did. And we won a year ago. Because, see, what people understand is these agencies, they persecute you through process. So to win, you have to sign up for like seven years of fighting. Right. all the way and most companies won't do it so and how can a single most companies but let alone a single person

right and luckily i was here's the reason why i got picked up because i was a small businessman and we and we had cancer detection i mean this is this is the utter shamelessness of the bureaucrats when they destroy a medical facility that has 700,000 cancer patients and they're fine with it and did you hear about in the press not much nope you know there's a big story about it in business week you guys can Google FTC wounded lab MD, and it came up in 2016. But did Bloomberg keep fanning the flames? No. Did anyone in media?

I don't care what political side they're on. I couldn't get on Fox. I was so tired if people asked me when I was going to be an O'Reilly or Hannity, because you could never get it down to six minutes. You know, now you can. But it's tough getting story about this. Now it resonates with what's going on. But unfortunately, I was an early adopter.

I was screaming in the middle of the Obama administration. They're corrupt. You know, no one would say anything. Now, I mean, it's swamp and administrative state and, you know, all that stuff. So I don't feel so lonely. But I did win, and now I'm suing everyone like crazy, but the bigger picture is you don't win. The company is destroyed. People are, once the government taints you without you're dead.

Because most people are afraid, and they won't pick up the mantle to fight. And so, and you have to know that when you go. And there's very few warriors. And even being a warrior, I mean, you're still wounded. It doesn't matter. Exactly. Now, I had certain lines I wouldn't cross. I would not have my finances decimated.

I had all my earnings decimated. I had my career decimated, but my net worth wasn't decimated because I got lots of pro bono defense. And the reason I did that is because there's so few people that will stand up and fight. So it wasn't difficult to fund it. Now, trying to fund things that's the Supreme Court to show that judges don't care about fraud on the court and judges don't care about lying in court by lawyers, no one would fund that. And no one would fund that fight. So I had to finance it myself to get rejected because everyone in the Beltway knows that the courts don't care about lying lawyers because they think that it'll just increase their caseload.

So what do you think lawyers do when they know that judges don't care about lying lawyers? I'm sure that they don't lie, Michael. That's what you're trying to say? They lie. In the name of defending their client. And, you know, they get so ruffled in their pristine black gowns when you make, tell them this. But, you know, and the public doesn't see this. And the public can't see it because lawyers can't talk to you about it.

Right. It's what makes lawyers very unhappy as well. Hey, well, that's a shame. I don't know that... I have a few good ones. I do have a few good ones. There's exceptions to every rule, Michael. I know that.

That's okay. The website is The Devil Inside the Beltway.com. Michael Doherty, president, CEO of Lab MD. I appreciate it, Michael. I know you're up against the clock and so am I. I wanted to talk to you a little while longer. Thanks for joining us on Chewing the Fat. All right, so this weekend.

I'm going to wrap up today with just this story because it's been kind of gnawing at me all weekend. Thanks for listening to Chewing the Fat, by the way. And I appreciate all of you listening and coming along for the ride. And I appreciate you even more subscribing to the podcast. It's just whatever. But I see the headline, NASA and FEMA with its partners, including the European Space Agency and the U.S. Federal's Emergency Management Agency are gathering at a 2009. Planetary Defense Conference in early May to investigate what would happen if an asteroid came hurling towards the Earth.

It's a five-day conference. They plan to engage in a tabletop exercise. Whatever. Don't ask me. Don't. Don't. You know, all that is this guy sitting around with their laptops open. That's all that is a tabletop exercise.

Yes. You know what that is? That is just them not believing the documentary Armageddon. Why do they not believe in that documentary? They even tell you in the beginning of that documentary, it happened before it will happen again. I don't understand. I don't understand.

On top of which, a Harry Stamper, i.e. Bruce Willis is still alive. Bring him in. Bring him in. He can explain it to you. And that's, I mean, their whole deal, their whole deal is, uh, they got to think up ideas.

Even Harry Stamper is like, this is your, this is your idea, there's a backup? I mean, NASA, you got people thinking of shit. You got people picking up, and people backing up those people. Right? And this is the best they got. I'm just saying it.

And it worked. It worked. I mean, we don't work. We lost Harry Stamper, or Bruce Willis is still alive. How about we just sit around in their tabletop exercise and watch Armageddon? And then as if they take a break, they can come back and watch Deep Impact. Okay, because there's two right there. They'll have it solved.

Now, deep impact. Now, obviously, don't be stupid. That's a movie. I know that. It's not a documentary like Armageddon. however they you know still will help them out give them some ideas with NASA's table top exercise ugh