Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 88 | John Bolton's Mustache, Snoop Dog and Martha Stewart Dated?, Dad TALK

Episode Date: April 30, 2019

Jeffy is bringing you the news that you don't hear like why is John Bolton's mustache cockeyed and guess who dated... Don't forget to subscribe, rate and review. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Okay, so I'm watching a live feed here as we start recording Chewing the Fat today. And they're talking to John Bolton, the National Security Advisor. And of course, they're talking about Venezuela. And I promise you, I'm not going to get into politics. I promise. What's going on in Venezuela is a nightmare for all involved. Please don't send our military down there. Let them fight it out themselves.

You need to make a movie out of it and not watch. Yes. But I'm looking at John Bolton. And I think John either he woke up and he was half asleep, but the right side of his mustache is shaved too short. now. Yeah, it is. I mean, by too short, I mean, the last side of his, of his face, okay, which is stage right is fine because it kind of goes underneath his nose and all the way over to the crook of his mouth. But the right side looks like he trimmed, he cut it too short

this morning. And it looks cockyed. I'm sorry, but I thought it was a camera angle. And I want to add this. If our National Security Advisor is shaving himself, what are we doing? It's the end of times. If this guy doesn't have somebody doing it. Why is he not going down to the barbershop or at least a shaving bar. Right. Or having a guy. I don't mind a tax increase to get his mustache fix.

I don't know about that. He's representing us. In national television. Does the senators have their own barbershop? Doesn't he have available to him to that? If he does, then what the hell is he doing? I mean, all the congressmen have their own little barbershops there, right? Even our boss has a barber come to him.

I mean, and I, so, I mean, so I, I, I, I, I like that. I mean, I, I don't go to a regular barber either. I don't go to the barber either. Right. I mean, it says, I don't make money. Wait. No, I mean, I go to a salon. Yeah, me too.

I go to like the membership ones. Yeah. They give you free booze and hot towels when you walk in, shoe shine. And I'm saying, I don't say, I don't make. money and I go there. Why is our national advisor not going to one of those? Okay, there you go. We've got to get them on the phone. I'll work this out.

So I know it's a big day in Japan. For our listeners, we do have some listeners in Japan, so I'd like to say hello. But I know Japanese Emperor Akehito has announced his abdication at the palace ceremony. He's saying goodbye.

Going to end his reign and power. Now, am I big on Japanese politics and the emperor and all of that. No, not really. And I apologize for not understanding at all. But just let me say this. His son is going to be taking over for him. His son is 59 years old. All right. So yesterday, all I can think of is how pissed off Prince Charles must be. Right. I mean, Prince Charles is 70. He's been waiting for his mom to step down from that thrown for 40 years, maybe even, you know, 69 years since he's 70. But, I mean, he's been, he's been waiting for a long freaking time for a queen to step down.

And she is not doing it. I mean, I, if I'm Prince Charles, last night and today, I'm dragging mom into the TV room saying, oh, look, look, what's happening? Let's watch the news. Let's watch the news. Oh, my gosh. Emperor stepping down, emperor stepping down. Amazing, isn't it? I mean, just, I don't mean anything.

Buy it, Mom. I'm just letting you know that's what's happening in the news. He's got to be pissed. Do you really think he has access to the mom? That's a good point. I don't think he has access to the mom. Can I get into see Mom? She's busy.

I know, but it's the middle of the now she's busy. I just want to see my mom. Yeah, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. That's a good point. And especially if he brought the wife with them. Yeah.

If he brought the wife with them, he said, could I get into the see, Mom? The footman will not let that happen. Hello. Mom. No, no, no queen here. No, no, mom. It's Charlie. No, no.

No, Charlie here. No, Charlie's Charles. No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Um, uh, bye. That's time for you to leave the palace. Sir, uh, I don't want to have to call security, so just let me walk you out. Order.

You ain't lying order. Big time, man. Big time. I also saw, I, I, I feel like I talked about this, but it's, then I was reading the story today and I feel like I don't remember talking about this. So a few days ago, we find out that two separate meat producers from two different states have issued recalls of their raw ground beef. I make no mistake, of course, it's about e-coly contamination.

That's a manila. The outbreak is sickened 156 people in 10 states. That's not a lot. That's not a lot. Ten states. So K2D Foods operating out of Georgia recalled 113,424 pounds of ground meat. I'm sorry, if you're getting meat from Georgia? Oh, no, that's their pack.

That's their, that's their plan. Why get me from Georgia? This meat was vacuum sealed packages that they send out as ground beef puck. Like a puck, like a huggy puck? Yes, that's the way it's spelled. Ground beef puck. The meat was shipped to distributors in Port Orange, Florida, Norcross, Georgia, and to be sent out to restaurants all over. And the other place only recalled 53,000, 200 pounds of raw ground beef products.

shipped under the North Star imports and sales for institutional use only. So all the meat that's being recalled were the meat that they were sending out to restaurants. So don't worry about it. Or do the keep ordering those burgers. You're fine. You're fine. I'm telling you, we got to start cleaning up some of the plants. I know, you know, it's probably, look, 113,000 pounds of ground meat, whether you want to call it ground beef puck or ground beef, whatever you want to call it.

Ground beef yuck. really is a small portion of the pounds of meat that this country eats on a daily basis. So, you know, there isn't anything to worry about. But it does feel like we're getting more and more stories about contamination. Now, perhaps it's that we are actually getting cleaner. And we're getting more news about contamination because we are getting cleaner and the news of dirty stuff is more shocking. So, I mean, let's hope that that is the case.

We also told you about the recall of the kids rockers, but now they're recalling again. So the kids two recalls another 700,000 baby rocker sleepers. Which one of those? Now, they have the little of the pictures of them, and if you look on the screen now, if you're... Oh, those. Oh, got it.

You see how they're... You forget that we have that feature. I don't know why. I mean, I just put the picture up. You can just take a look. Duh. Whatever. So this is the second time

and only a matter of weeks that these baby rocking sleepers have been recalled. Now, they talk about following the number of infant deaths. Okay. Nobody wants infants to die. Absolutely not.

Period. But these deaths of the five infants were since 2012. Oh, that's not. I haven't had anyone in this time frame since 2012, according to this story. Now, there may have been near brushes with death with babies. I don't know.

But if it's taken that long, if we killed, and I say we, we, it's like, I know, if infants passed away, regrettably, pre-2012, what hasn't happened in the past seven years. And how they're dying, I'm sorry, I need to know. Well, they're, you know, they'd be rolling over in that rocker, right? So the rocker would keep moving and they'd be rolling over and there's no way for them to roll back over. Oh, okay. Okay, because it's open. That's what I just looked at the picture. So they're open.

I'm like how they're dying. Like, I don't understand. So they're rolling in their face. They've got to roll back over and then there's no way to roll back over. So they're not secure for the baby to stay upright. I'm guessing. I'm guessing. I didn't say anything about that.

And it's your recall because how many died? five since 2000 let me reword this hold on maybe I'm hold on well I was not I'm not I'm not right this wrong hold on yeah but I'm questioning myself two of the kids two rocker sleepers recalled on April 2019 following the deaths of at least five infants oh since yes I that's why I questioned myself

so since 2012 up to today we've lost five children so you're right yeah so no I was thinking about it wrong though but So that is a lot. I was thinking that nothing has happened in the last seven years. This is the only amount of time that it has happened in is in the seven years. Well, the only reason I was saying that is because they recalled, you know, because babies are dying. Have we recalled Planned Parenthood?

No, but we should. I'm just pointing that out, you know. Five little babies have died. Planned Peral kills five in two seconds. Oh, terrible. I know. Can we put the same logic? And, you know, that's other same lot, Trigger, buddy, I told you yesterday, it's just a side note here.

A side note that really kind of irritates me. And I may have you mentioned it yesterday, but I went back and looked again. So I take my daughter to see a movie, and we're watching the trailers on Saturday. And one of the movies that is the trailer is The Hustle with Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson. And man, does it look funny? And they star as female scam artists. And man, does it look? funny and just I mean by funny looking funny I mean it doesn't look funny okay it's gonna be stupid

adult but it's so that at the end it's rated PG 13 and it even says with the PG 13 um it says at the end PG 13 crude sexual content and language okay so why was unplanned rated R because they kill babies only reason only reason. This movie should be an R. Even in the trailer was just disgusting. And I don't care. What is crude? And I don't care. What is crude sexual content? What does that mean?

You see they're dancing. They're having... In fact, one scene, she kills a guy. One scene, she pulls a shotgun out and the guy says she meant... Fezzas, right? And she goes, I don't worry about her. She never hits anything anyway. And she pulls a trigger and the guy falls over dead. Oh, that was unexpected. It was funny as you just killed the guy.

It was just, my point is, is that this is PG-13 with a stamp of crude sexual content and language, but unplanned had a, you know, a minute of an actual, you know, the way of an abortion looks. And we can't give that a PG-13. Just a little bit of an issue is all it is getting to. really kind of irritated me when I saw that, the trailer. So you know how they test roller coasters? They put in new tracks of roller coasters, and then they put in like a dummy, blow-up dolls.

Oh, blow-up dolls. Well, you would think it was regular dummies, right? They put in, and they strap them in, and they wheel them around the roller coaster for a bunch of times. But in Ocean City, They were testing their new Playland Castaway Cove's Gale Force roller coaster. And they had all the dummies in and then all of a sudden, fooom, do dummies fly out? We just shut it down right now.

We don't want humans flying like that. And according to the roller coaster people. What is the name? What is the name? The roller coaster people. I don't think that's their official name. Yeah, that's their name. Roller Coaster People

Yeah. They're part of the amusement park. They're the roller coaster people. Is there an Inc Corporation LLC? They're part of the Ocean City, Playland Castaway Coast, Gale Forest roller coaster people.

Thank you. I already told you the name of the place. But the people that were looking at it and were the rollercoaster people. You got to give them credit. I did. They're the rollercoaster people. I don't feel like you give them credit.

Are you a stockholder in Playland Castaway Coves, Gale Forest roller coaster now? Yes, I am. So they've got a dummy that says here when properly filled. So it's a blowup doll. It's not just, you think of a mannequin, right? We talked about the guy having the mannequin next to him in the car yesterday. You think of a mannequin that's already just, you know, plastic or rubber or whatever they're made out of.

And some petro technology that makes them. But apparently what they're saying is that, oh, yeah, it's an inflatable, like, water tube that's just in there. and the dummies fell out, but the harness wasn't open. The harness was still locked. And, you know, the ride is fine. Apparently the water dummy just had a leak, and then they came out.

So don't worry about it. And you know that roof that they landed on at the hotel next to the roller coaster place? We fixed that right away, so it's no problem. Don't worry about that. Everything's fine. How would you like to be the roller coaster people? You're out there testing,

and it had gone around a few times, and then all of a sudden, out comes to... Shoo! Shoo! Oh, turn those cameras off quickly. Oh, look, the harness is still latched. Everything's fine. We've got to open this up. We've got a deadline to meet.

Good luck. Good luck. And, of course, we have, long as we're on, you know, stupid things. Which is really the show. I was going to say, isn't the whole show stupid things? Is that what you were going to say? because you're part of it. In Florida,

and of course from Florida, we had a man who apparently, who apparently, allegedly, allegedly was hallucinating. Now, I don't understand why you'd end up admitting this, but apparently this man used a bedpost

to attack a mattress. Now, he thought that his girlfriend had a boyfriend in the bedroom and he locked him in there and he grabbed the bedpost and he thought the boyfriend was hiding in the mattress

so he beat the hell out of the mattress with the bedpost. How else are you supposed to do that? Now she, while he was busy beating up the mattress, sneaks out of the room, calls the police and the police show up and arrest him and as the sheriff's office said after they arrested him

well he admitted that he's just been high on meth. Whoa. Why would he admit that? Why do you admit that? I was just beating up the mattress. It's okay for me to beat up my own mattress. It's my mattress. I can do it over the hell I want with my mattress.

Did he take the mattress tag off? Because if he did, Oh, that's a good point. The mattress people might come in arrest. Big mattress. You did not want to mess with big mattress. That is illegal, right? What, the tag on the mattress?

Yeah. You can't remove that. For real? Yeah, you can't remove that. No, you, if it's your mattress, you can do with it what you want. That tag is there. It's illegal to take the tag off before you purchase it. Yeah, but even when you purchase it, like I'm reading it here.

It says, why do mattresses have, do not remove tags? It's illegal for you to remove under penalty of law. It is illegal. Prior to me purchasing, you should read the fine print. I am reading the fine print. I am reading the fine print. It says here, underpren. under penalty of law, this tag not to be removed except by the consumer.

Thank you. Because that's what I said. Oh, so it's not illegal. By the way, this mattress is 92% urethane foam and 8% rayon. Stop talking. So I'm going to tell you two names. And I want you to just close your eyes. And even if you're driving, pull over.

or not and close your eyes. And I'm going to say two names to you, okay? Snoop Dog, Martha Stewart. Two names. I'm just throwing them out there. Close your eyes and think, Snoop Dog, Martha Stewart.

Now, would you, you can open your eyes back up. Jesus, don't hit the guardrail, man. Go back over in the lane. You can't drive straight for longer than that amount of time? Wow. You get your license checked. In a special private memoir from Martha Stewart,

she has revealed that she had a never tiring sexual relationship with Snoop Dog. Right? Come on, baby. Now that is world class. Snoop Dog even had. his little his little his little SWC

nickname for Martha short for skinny white chick right come on oh yeah baby oh yeah oh yeah

oh yeah Martha come here my little SWC with the pimps in the crib huh Drop it like it's hot. Drop it like it's hot.

When the pigs try to get at you. Park it like it's hot. Parking like it's hot. Oh yeah. It's just me. Snoop. And my little SWC. Drop it like it's hot.

Oh, by the way, those are actual lyrics from my man Snoop Dogg. No, I recognize them. Yeah, those are good lyrics. I am all about the Snoop Dog and Martha Stewart. Drop it like it's hot, maybe. Drop it like it's hot. That is, I mean, good for them. You know what?

I should see that. Good for them. I do too. And, you know, when you see them together in photos, I can absolutely see them. You know what? Wherever you find love, you find love. And that is very odd couple. It's a very totally different spectrums.

But yet they're the same spectrum, right? They're living in the same life. I mean, both criminals? I was going to say, I knew she went to jail, but I didn't want to put it out. I was like, didn't she go to jail? Oh, yeah, she went to jail. Yeah.

I mean, the streets were so much safer with Martha behind bars. Come on, man. Oh, I mean, I do not feel safe since she's been released. Have you seen Snoop Dog's YouTube channel? Actually, actually, yes, I have. Because I started watching it because of something. What were we watching? We're watching Fluffy.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's with Snoop Dog, right? That's right. All right, that's enough of Snoop Dog. I got them thirsty. I don't want to talk about Snoop Dog's YouTube channel anymore. What you should do is subscribe to Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher.

Oh, wait. Snoop. Snoop. Thanks, Snoop. Snoop, you got to, dude, you got to, you got to subscribe to chewing the fat, bro. You got to subscribe to chewing the fat, man. Oh my gosh. Where did you get this, Snoop?

This is good. This is so good. Never mind, you don't have to subscribe to chewing the fat, man. I'll just sit here and ride this one out, okay? All right, let's go to the break room. I need to Coca-Cola Zero. Oh my gosh. I could use a brand new one too because that one is empty.

But I'll wait. So good. I see that McDonald's is adding new menu items. McDonald's adding new menu items. I mean, it's been a while since they've added a new menu. Well, they added the new meat. So now their meat, it's not frozen. It's all prepared like a, like this bougie restaurant.

Oh, whoa, whoa, so it's fresh? Yes, yes. It's just like flash frozen? Yeah, it's no longer flash frozen. So now the cook, the actual cook has to prep the burgers, you know. No, not at McDonald's. Okay. Stop it.

That's on American if McDonald's. Oh, yeah. We've got a cook planting patties at McDonald's. Yes. That's on American. Every morning the cook has to, you know, grab the ground beef. I don't believe it. Okay.

I don't. I don't believe there's no way that. You know how much time. that waste and how much money that is? Why do you think some of the owners, owners operators were pushing back because that they have to hire someone else?

I thought that, like even Wendy's has like the flash frozen, right? I mean, they're fresh, but they're just the flash frozen. That's what we do to fish. When we bring in fresh fish, fresh in quotation marks, are fresh because they're flash frozen. If you catch them and then you give them the quick freeze job,

that's apparently still. Fresh. Yeah, so fresh. Okay, whatever. But the only company that I know of that has distribution places that are close enough to be fresh, like In-N-Out Burger makes a big deal about that, where they open up franchises, but they also, they don't open up franchises unless there's a distribution center that can get you the fresh meat within, I forget what their time frame is.

But, I mean, they don't even do the Flash Frozen, I don't think. So McDonnells only does their quarter-pounder burgers, with fresh, not frozen beef. So just the quarter pounder? So the rest of it is a lot. So the rest of it, you still get. Thank God. America is still America.

The double cheeseburger, cheeseburger, your hamburgers, you still get, you know. Those are still McDonald's burgers. Yes. Oh, good. Whoa. I was worried there for a second.

But this is supposed to give the fresh meat burger is juicier and more depth flavor. Give a McDonald's a distinct. So really what you want to order is it like, if you don't like all that quarter pounder stuff, you just order a quarter pounder plane. And you get a fresh burger. Yes. Yes.

Nice. I like that. But you're paying $4 instead of $2. Ooh. Oh, no, honey. No, no, no, honey. No $4 here. Hello? Yeah, this is a $4 burger. Oh, no, no, no $4 burger here.

No, that's not happening. No, no. I am not paying that. So anyway, McDonald's is finally, they've tried some items out around the world. You know, they always have, if you travel to McDonald's around the different countries, they have different stuff. So they're adding four new items on top of the, I mean,

that's educational today for the McDonald's fresh burgers on the quarter pounders. That's, I mean, it makes me concerned. If McDonald's are starting to go fresh, the world has come falling apart. And also they added the French fries with cheese and bacon. That came the same time that this came out. Yeah, yeah, well, that's the cheesy bacon fries from Australia. They also add the grand extreme bacon burger.

from Spain. Yeah. It's got the creamy, and they say bacon sauce. I say creamy, bougie sauce. With bacon and Gouda. Ooh.

It's delicious. They have the, they have the, uh, Stroop Waffle McFurries from the Netherlands. Uh, the McFourer with caramel waffle cookies blended. That's probably.

That's delicious. Really good. We need to do, uh, that needs to happen. Are they already out? Do you have one of your due people in there? I do.

But they're not. but they're not here yet. Like those items are not here yet because I went to McDonald's yesterday. According to this story. Well then we need to get Irving McDonald's. They want over there by the ghetto. They need to open up because they don't have the...

According to this story, they're supposed to be here in June. So send somebody out there and get them. I want it now. Because the bacon cheesy fries are already out and the beef is already out. I want the strew waffle McFurries. That sounds really good. Maybe we'll do it and chew in the fat. And then the cheesy bacon fries.

Yeah. And then they have the tomato mozzarella chicken sandwich from Canada. Ooh. Breaded chicken breast with tomato, mozzarella and a tomato in herb sauce. Do I need to have the tomato in there? No,

the tomato. Although it's probably good. Yeah, I don't want the tomato. Depending on what kind of McDonald's tomato you're getting. That's what I'm saying. I mean, if you're getting the tomato, are you still getting the flashed frozen tomatoes on your fresh quarter pounder?

Yeah, the quarterponder doesn't get tomatoes. That's a shame. That's a whopper. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. What comes on the quarter pounder?

I just, I thought you get lettuce, tomatoes, no. What? Mm-mm. Really? Yeah.

There's pickles, uh, onions, mustard, ketchup, uh, cheese. That's it.

No tomatoes. No tomatoes. No tomatoes, no lettuce. that used to be a sandwich. They used to have a sandwich that had like a whopper, but it didn't sell, so they took it out of the menu. But no, the only one that has a tomato is like a chicken sandwich. Okay.

Yeah. Ooh, so then tomatoes are not going to be that good, not that fresh. Ooh, don't want that. Okay. Never mind. But the McFlurry. I want that Carmel McFlurry. I mean.

I mean. That needs to happen. Yes. That's a mistake not having that on the menu. right now. That will sell. McDonald's, what are you thinking? Call me. That'll sell. Also, I think we need to have a little talk.

Come on in. Close the door behind you. Sit down. I know. I just want to have a little talk with you. It's come to my attention that some people are having some difficulties understanding the process of subscribing to chewing the fat with Jeff Fisher.

So, the object. is subscribe to the podcast on whatever platform you desire iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, Iheart radio, whatever platform is yours, you subscribe. Then that's it. You don't have to unsubscribe but subscribe again the next time that you come around. You subscribe once, and you're done. It's just that simple. Now, when we say rate and review, that is specifically for iTunes.

Okay? You rate and review, and you can rate and review as often as you want. That's fine. Now, other platforms have other different ways that you can comment and review, but it doesn't work the same way as iTunes uses their rate and review. But all you need to do is subscribe once. You don't need to try to play with the system by subscribing and on subscribing. I know, don't look at me like that.

You know you've been doing that. Some of you've been doing that and it's driving a little crazy. That's why I had you close the door because not everybody's doing it. It's just we know for sure. We know for sure it's you. Okay. And that's why I want to talk to you alone. So there's no need to do that.

Just subscribe and you're good. And then you'll be alerted when the podcast uploads. Boop. You hear that? Oh my gosh. That's chewing the fat. And on Mondays, you'll get the early. Poop.

Oh my gosh. It's part of the talking series. Talking Throads is going on. right now. And then Saturdays, you should get one early in the morning. Most Saturdays. Boop. Is that a Saturday?

American Dream Story? It is. Oh, my gosh. So, that's all you didn't do is subscribe once. And you're good. Now, let me say this to you, as long as you're here and you're sitting down. Let me say this to you. Is every device you own subscribe to chewing the fat?

Because I think that's where we're headed. Okay. whether it's your phone or your laptop or your desktop whichever one of those is not subscribed to chewing the fat that needs to happen. Boop. That's two. What about the phone?

Boop. Thank you. Okay. Oh, what? You have a smart TV? Boop. So, now we're done. Wait, there's one more?

You have an Alexa? Boop. Okay, so we're done. Thank you. All right. You can go now. No, close the door. I don't want it left open.

All right, so Sports Illustrated, making a big deal out of the cover to feature a model wearing a burkeen. We're going to start again. So Sports Illustrated. So Sports Illustrated, making it. I don't want to talk about this. I skip. Where's the skip button? That would be on your podcast.

Do we really need to talk about this? do it's not sexy to see a girl fully clothed have we not learned oh well i disagree with that how we not learned that what happened jeffy what happened to playboy when they said let's not longer put naked girls on the magazines what happened to them i don't know jeffy what happened to them thank you so they opted to go back and they oh look at that nobody's buying our naked magazine because we don't have naked Cheers.

So you don't want to talk about it? I do not want to talk about this. Okay, let's turn your mic off. Because I'm going to tell you about Sports Illustrators, putting the burkini on the cover. And I want to tell you that I have no problem with it. I really don't. And I do disagree with Chris.

There are plenty of times when females are gorgeous, fully clothed. Not when they're wearing all that what she was wearing. Let me say this. My problem is this. I don't have a problem with anyone. that wants to wear a burkini, a burqa, a burq sock thing. I don't have a problem with any of it. You can wear whatever you want.

Seriously. But I thought the deal was that unless it's mandated from on high in your country that you have to wear your burqa, if you're wearing it specifically here in this country in the United States, if you're wearing it here, you're wearing it because you don't want to show yourself off, right? You're conservative. Your body and your face and everything about you is for your husband. Yes.

Why is your mic still on? I thought you didn't want to talk about it. Because this is aggravated. So I thought that that was the reason why. So there's no point in doing the swimsuit edition because you're doing exactly. opposite of what you're supposed to be wearing it for. I don't understand it. As a matter of fact, I don't even know why we talked about.

I told you not to talk about it. So anyway, women, new study, snore just about as much as men is the headline. Good. I say, no kidding. That's a fact. So according to the new study, the same percentage of men and women snore,

well, they say 92% of men snore and 88% of women. So they're saying that, you know, Kenneth says she doesn't snore. Right. And there are snores there about the same average volume-wise. Ooh, guys are snoring 51.7 decibels and women are snoring 50 decibels. Oh, that's pretty close. Yeah, that is. 88% 72% admit it.

out of the 88% that snore, 72% admit it. I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you had to say, Candice said she doesn't have. She doesn't snore. Of course, when you first, I mean, everybody, what's the joke? I don't snore. I stayed up all night one night to see if I snored and I didn't.

That's one night, you idiot. Well, that's also staying up, not sleeping. You put a camera. You can snore. You put a camera. And that's your test, right, to see if you snore. Look, everybody snores at one point or another in their life. Very few people don't snore.

And as you get, as you age, like the first hundred years I was alive, I don't snore at all. Really? What happened? Then downhill, man. It was like, ooh, he's a hundred years old snore. That was the bar. Yeah, a snore. I snore when I get a massage.

I don't know why. As soon as he. Oh, go continue. Just because my head is down, doesn't mean you have to stop talking on this. I want this entire story. So as soon as she touches my feet and does like a feet massage, I don't know what this girl does, but she makes me snore.

Like, there's no tomorrow. I do not. I asked her if that's normal. She said it's not, so I got to go get checked. But, like, I snore when I'm getting a massage and loudly and very embarrassing too. So that's what I thought on that would be that. I think I'm too relaxed. What you think is snoring is not snoring.

All right, so let's go. No, finish. Finish. Oh, I just did. Oh, okay. Selling it on the black market. Not eBay, though. I don't know. I haven't checked eBay.

That's what I said. Someone apparently thought they just turned on their mic and tell me that eBay isn't the black market. Do you know that? Yes. Do you know that? You know for a fact that eBay isn't the black market. Yes. Okay.

Well, then there you have it. There you have it. if you were living in a small city in whatever country, let's say Frankfurt, Germany. Whoa, that's pretty specific. Yeah, I'm top of my head. That's pretty specific. Where's that at?

And Germany. Yeah, but where's that at? Frankfurt, right there in Germany. Next to. You go, you get into Germany. Okay. You take Highway 1. Okay.

And as you pull it to Germany, you take Highway 1 to country road two. No, Country Road 22. Make it left. Okay. Right into Frankward. That's Frank.

Right into Frank. Okay. So apparently for years now this town has got this horse that it's a 22-year-old Arabian mayor. Oh, I mean, this old horse, man. And it

just rolls around the neighborhood. Every day goes for a walk. And so, So the owner has now taken to putting a note around its neck saying, hey, nothing's wrong. I'm just out for a walk. I know where I'm going. And he stops in that. They show a picture of the horse being petted by a little baby in a carriage and the dad's petting it.

And the dog is looking at it. I'm like, you want to leave? That's my duty to get rubbed by people, not you. but it doesn't say anything about if the horse is strolling through downtown Frankfurt dropping a horse poop everywhere like a wild horse you're right yeah I mean maybe the old nag is 22 years old is like I know not to go to the bathroom I'll wait till I get back home doubtful though doubtful don't have diapers on them you can't put diapers on horses yes they have the carry sack that you hang on yeah a lot of people don't do you have the

plugs that they use you don't want to put a plug in there so then we go to brazil again with another animal oh spin the globe yeah yeah so animal oh we got i mean i got animal stories all over to play yes you do all right so let's boom oh we're in brazil we're in brazil all right we're in brazil so right there it's a way it's a country right there in brazil so you drive into Brazil. Okay. On Brazil, road one.

Road one, okay. You take that in about, oh, I don't know, off the top of my head, I'd say that's probably about two or three kilometers. Oh, yeah,

you're right, kilometers, that are you miles over there. Freaking, and you'd make a left. And, and takes you right into Sel Paulo.

Oh, that's what the big Jesus is. Yeah. At least I think that's the city. This is. Wait, you give you directions to a C-D? Just go, he's going. I'm pretty sure.

I'm pretty sure. So I've got a parrot in a zoo that was shot in a drug. It was in a drug shootout. It was shot in its beak. Now it's blind, all right? And it's been in the zoo for a while. All right? Now, while it's been in the zoo, it got bit by a snake.

Now, fortunately, the snake wasn't poisonous, but it's already the parrot is like, just kill me. I mean, I'm pretty sure. If you ask anyone involved, the parrot's probably just like, just kill me. I mean, I just want to go. I've got a bullet hole in me. A snake has bit in me. My name is Freddie Kruger, the parrot. I just want to just lay me alone.

I'm sorry, what's the name? My name is Freddie Kruger. Does they have a, uh, a sweater. Yes, yes. It's an Amazon, it's a, you know, one of the Amazon parrots, which are great. I love those birds. The cacao's, yeah. They're really great parrots, man.

I mean, the one that we used to have, my mother-in-law, my first mother-in-law, had one. And that bird, I'll tell you, that story, Pete was his name, great bird. That bird did not like very many people. I mean, it did not like, and I say very many people, almost anyone. The only person that that bird would fell in love with was my oldest son, Elvis. Nice. When he was a little baby, he would stay at his grandmother's house. And grandma would put his little case or prison or kid prison, whatever it is, right next between the sofa and the bird cage.

Because he had this big giant bird cage, you know. And that wasn't a playpen. It was more of a kid prison play area. But I was between the, it was between the sofa and the bird cage. Elvis. Elvis. Elvis, that bird, Elvis could grape that bird and throw it across the freaking room, step on it. Elvis, Alice, Evans come right back to him.

My bad, they didn't care. Alice, Alice. And somebody else comes to reach it. What was that? You said, oh, come here, Pete. I don't want to, oh. And he's just pecking you, man. Oh, he picks you.

Oh, he picks you. Oh, he's been, get back. If you want to, if you want to take him somewhere, you put a glove. Yeah. Okay, then the other than he has a bit. Ah. That bird loved that. When they find somebody they love, man, it, you are theirs.

There's no question. So maybe, you know, maybe. Freddie Kruger had somebody loved at the zoo because he was there. But after he got bit by the snake, then he was like, okay, I'm shot, I'm blind, I got bit by the snake. Then he gets stolen.

Thieves, it broke into the zoo, and they stole two parents, and they stole a cylinder of gas, which I don't know what the cylinder of gas was, but that's what they took from the zoo. I don't know. I don't know what kind of gas it was. Laughing gas.

I just said, I don't know. Like, what kind of? I just, I don't know. A cylinder of gas. I feel like this is bad journalism. So, it's South Paulo. You know, it's those bastards. Don't bother me.

I'm just telling you their story. And drive there, go see them. Go down Brazil Road 1. 18 kilometers, make a left. I thought you said three kilometers. It takes you right in. It's one or the other. Okay.

It's kilometers. Who knows? True. So. It's like Celsius. So then, it's still. A couple days later,

Freddie Kruger shows up outside the zoo again. He's got a little blood dripping from him, but he's back. What the hell? So I don't know if he pecked his way out. It was like, oh, hey, Freddy. And they let him go, I'm assuming, I'm assuming that they kept the one that could see.

And it was like the handicapped one, they were like, holy God, just. Oh, that's racist. Just like, we get rid of that one. Right. I know, but what are you going to do? They're criminals. and so it shows

back up still alive hanging out at the zoo with the bullet hole the snake bite had now gone through a kidnapping. I mean that's a heck of a pair not kidnapping

I apologize spin the glow I was going to do another animal story but I can't anymore because Freddard is come on because Freddy's the best one Oh Freddy's the best one

See this one is just a tiger attacking somebody Oh well It's just the globe I'll stop I don't know it's Where we at? Oh, Topeka, Kansas. Where's that at?

That's right there in the state of Kansas. And look at a map once in a while, would you? So a male. That's right there. I can't be the only one that does not know where Topeka, Kansas is. Kansas. Kansas. Yeah, Kansas.

The center of the country, okay? The middle. Kansas, the state. Yeah, just because you repeat it does not mean that's going to automatically. Oh. You know, it's a piece of land that the United States considers a state, not just a territory. That sounds something familiar to you?

That's low. That is very low. How dare you? So a male tiger apparently attacked and injured a keeper at the Tobika Zoo. And I guess everybody's okay and we're okay with it.

Just a tiger just attacking somebody. I mean, I don't, maybe we stop putting animals down now that kill humans or attack humans. See, we have to we're going to have to re-explain the way things work on the planet

earth to even everyone, even at zoos. I know we all love animals. They're a beautiful thing. And we were glad they're at the zoo and we like to come and see them. But if you attack a human, you die. And you do it in front of all the other animals. You know, it's just like, I don't know,

North Korea or Saudi Arabia. You bring them out into town square and you kill them. So the other animals realize, ooh, even the tiger gets killed because he attacked a human. We better not attack humans. I mean, that's what has to happen. Right?

Right? Just... Right? You can play any music you want to play. Sorry, we're done. We're done. You get to just decide that now? Because it says this is chewing the fat with Jeff Fisher.

It doesn't...