Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 9 | Death Row Doesn't Get The Chair

Episode Date: January 18, 2019

Jeffy gets to the fat pile and somehow doesn't read all the fat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why didn't we think of this? I mean, this is tremendous. We should have thought of this. Tyler Heap buys a scratch-off ticket, a scratch-off lottery ticket, scratches it off and wins a dollar, wins $1. Okay. Now, we've all done it. We've all won a buck and said, oh, I finally won a buck.

But he decided this is in Iowa, all right, in the great state of Iowa. He decides that he wants to be treated like a big winner, So he drives to the lottery office with his dollar ticket and says, hey, I'd like the big check and the big pomp and circumstance and the big to-do over my lottery winnings. And they did it. They gave him the big dollar check. They put him in the room with the cameras. They had them come out. They introduced them.

They did the whole thing. Why did we not do this? Because we have him won. All right, speaking to the lottery, though. And really, I haven't won a scratch-off in a while, although we do play scratch-offs. I haven't when we're joking around about not telling when I win. But a lot of times, like if you, on the big money tickets and stuff with the mega and the powerball and you go in and you've got three or four different tickets and you put them in and you win maybe eight bucks or 12 bucks or stuff like that, I'd do that. That happens a lot.

But, I mean, big deal. I mean, big deal. You have an opportunity to win $350 million. Oh, here's $8.00. No thanks. But this California man was arrested for stealing his roommate's lottery

ticket. Okay? I mean, not a good plan. How much was a ticket? $10 million. $10 million. Okay, so the winner, they purchased $30,000. of scratch-off tickets.

He won $10 million from a scratch-off. That's a big winner. That's a lot. So he bought $30 scratch-off tickets, and he thought he won $10,000. Okay. All right. He told his roommates about his good luck

and planned to cash it in the next day. That was his mistake. Yeah. So when he went to collect his winnings, the clerk informed him that the ticket had been altered. And he's like, what are you altered? And this is a ticket or scratch-off?

This is a scratch-off. Okay. So it turns out the roommate, Adul Sassosahyang. One more time. S. Adul Sassizigian. S A-O. Type this in. Well, you need, oh, I need, this is going to be too good.

S-A-O. Oh, no. One moment while we type in the letters. Please hold. We're waiting for the pronunciation of this man's last name to come up. Thank you for listening. Appreciate your listenership. Your listenership is very important to us.

Please hold. Please hold your listenership. Hey, welcome back to chewing the fat. And we've got the roommate, Adul... Salazar, like I said. I mean, I was pretty close. Adul... Sousanjian.

Went to the same store and bought the same type of... Now he's got a plan now, right? I mean, he's got it out. goes to the story, buys the same type of scratch-off. He then alters the losing ticket and swaps out the winning ticket, trades them out. So he's got the winning ticket, right? Now he thinks that it's 10 grand. But he finds out later, it was 10 million.

Amazing. So the guy who originally bought it had reported the ticket stolen. So he goes, the, a dual. Salluz-un-Ji-A-Ang... Goes to the lottery ticket, and they're unaware of the ticket being reported stolen, and they begin their administrative investigation. I know. And the whole lottery thing is kind of agonizing with the whole investigation.

So, which according to the Iowa lottery, they told a dual... Salos-un-Ji-A-ing. That any prize worth more than $350,000, we start this administrative investigation. So, officials reviewed the surveillance footage and noticed that... Salazar Jai-ang... Did not buy the winning ticket. They contacted the police department.

They lost a joint investigation. So now, when... Salaz-un-Ji-ing... returned a few days later, thinking he was about to collect his 10 million. Ah, uh, arrested. Whoop, who? He was right. Thank you.

Brought to the Sacramento County Jail and charged with grand theft. Okay, so now he's in jail for grand theft, right? All right. But now, a dual... Salus and Jai. The roommate is in jail, although actually the former roommate now, right? So, but the thing that ticks me off here a little bit on the story is that he, He's in jail for grand theft.

I mean, a dual... Salos and Jayang. In jail for grand theft. But... The lottery still hasn't paid the first man his 10 million. Because they said, look, we hope to get the man who bought the ticket his prize. But we've got to complete our investigation first. So if...

I mean, what's what? Did... Salvos. ...stead... Steal the $10 million, or did he not? I mean, if my man hasn't collected his money, then... Salos-on-Ji-ing. What do you steal, a piece of paper?

Right? I mean, I would hope that... I would hope that... Sours-in-Ji-ing. I would hope that... Don't step on me with the guy's last name. Please, just be ready. Just push play.

It's all you got to do. It's push-play. Let's hope that... Salos-Jang. All that for. Has a good attorney. All right, so in the summer of 2016, You remember that the all-female cast of Ghostbusters?

Boo! Oh, it was released into theaters in the 70s. And it looked like it would be really, really not good. And to be honest with you, I have not seen it. Me neither. I've only seen clips from it. I have not seen the movie. I haven't seen it anywhere to watch it,

which makes me think it lived up to its not good. good possibilities. How don't you see it on demand? That's what I mean. I don't remember. I've never seen a chance to where I thought to myself, well, I probably should watch it. Because I would because it's, I love the Ghostbusters theme. Every time I see Ghostbusters come up, I watch it.

And I would, and because it had the expectation of being really, really not good, I would watch it because I'd want to see if it lived up to it as I'm sure that it did. And now we know that it did because you can't even find it on that, right? You can't even scroll through movies on demand and go, oh, hey, there's the Ghostbusters. So that kind of tells you something, too. Ooh. So anyway, in the end, of course, a huge disappointment,

and hardcore fans hated it. But now, as of today, apparently we're in talks for a new Ghostbusters movie. Boo. Okay. All right, whatever you say. But I'm just telling you, they're making an effort to bring back all the emotion

and spirit of the first two movies, says Dan Aykroyd. Shut. Studios described the new film as the next chapter in the original story. So they're blowing past, they're blowing past the three women. Ghostbusters. They're leaving that in the dust. They didn't want to mention it. Four women.

Or four. I mean, whatever. The one woman was two? Was it the one, the fat one? Who are the, who are the stars in the Ghostbuster movie now? Don't, don't. Don't bow your head and shame like you should have already had this information for me. I do. Melissa McCarthy, Kristen, Wayne, Kate Lincoln and Leslie Jones.

But they still count her as one. Who is the four? Sorry, still thinking about Melissa McCarthy. Leslie Joan, the lesbian, the black lesbian. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And see, they're all funny in their own right. They just tried to outdo the Ghostbusters movie. Why would you?

You can't do that. Right. Okay, so. So to prove now, I wonder what's the difference is the money. All right. So the original Ghostbuster movie, what'd that make? $242 million. Wow, some of that's got to be adjusted, though.

Let me get my calculator adjusting. Oh, it's broken. Well, somebody will have to do that is adjusted for inflation. My inflation adjusting calculator just broke. I know. I know. Wouldn't you know when you need it? A book of oil.

That's when things break when you need them. Right. Thank you. So then they had the second one, which was, you know, eh, yeah, but I mean, they, you know, still, it's still original cast. And so the second one made,

112 million. See, but still over 100, still 100 million. I mean, they're still okay. So then the 2016 one. Before you go there, hold on. The first one was only released in 1,500 theaters and made 242 million. And that, is that global? Seems like that.

Seems like it should be more than that. And then the second was released in 2,000 theaters, 112 million. I know. You sure? Now that's not just the U.S.? This is Lifetime. Gross. Lifetime gross.

U.S. globally? My whole point of the question? Globally. Okay. So it is overall. Ooh. But they've had to make, now they had to be, I mean, how much of money did they make on a ghost bus

stuff, all the toys, all the stuff, all the games, all the bits, all the, yeah. I mean, aside from the movie, the original Ghostbusters movie had cartoons, animated Ghostbusters, all, I mean, huge, yeah, games, video games, all of it. I mean, a fortune. I mean, Bill Murray's still living off of that money, yeah. So, you know, I mean, good for them. It was worth it. The first one was worth it.

So the 2016 version with the three to four women. Released on 3,000 theaters. Yeah, I mean, it was everywhere, right? They were jamming that. I mean, they were jamming it down our throats, right? I mean, it was the new Ghostbusters. It was the women. It was these funny women.

We were going to take over the world. We were going to redo the Ghostbusters movie, and it was going to be a big deal. Now, where you tell me the number? All right? I have a feeling there's going to be more than I think it is, which is going to disappoint me. Right? I know you're shaking your head, so it's going to be more than I think it is. Did they crack a hundred million?

They did? See, we've got to adjust the other Ghostbusters movies for inflation. That has to be done because that hurts. If they cracked $150 million, I give up. What did they? What was it? $128 million. $128 million.

That's still too close. So it beat number two by 10, oh, by 14. That's embarrassing. But they had to double up on theaters. to make that up. And they probably paid the female actors. I'm sorry, they're just not female. It's the actress.

No, they're not actresses. Oh, my God, don't call them that. You racist. Oh, man, you. What kind of male woman-hating person are you? They're actors. They're all everybody's actors now. nobody's there's not

I don't know what you call them anymore but they had to pay them a lot of money right Melissa McCarthy didn't do Ghostbusters for for 10 bucks right and and what's her face Leslie Jones yeah she didn't do it for 10 bucks either

so I bet you Melissa McCarthy probably got what 10 mil Leslie Jones maybe they all got paid the same my God maybe we're breaking a story that they're going to have to we're going to cause a Ghostbusters

fight because they all got paid different money. Maybe they all just got paid the same $10 million and tried to work out a deal on the back end. You could make your own jokes from that. Four women making out a deal on the back end. Never mind. $14 million? Oh my gosh.

Please, please tell me Leslie didn't make that much. What I'd like for you to do is tell me that Leslie didn't make that much. Oh, she didn't make that much. Thank you. See how easy that is? Thank you. What did she make? If I have to put this audience on hold again for you to tell me what she made, I mean, I hate doing it.

Please hold. Thanks for listening to Chewing the Fat. Your listenership is very important to us. As soon as we have the information you need, we'll be right back. For those of you that are listening in English, please hold. Your listenership is very important to us. For those of you listening in Spanish, for favor,

I mean, thanks for holding. Your listenership is very important to us more than you know and as soon as we get the information we're looking for, we'll come back and pick up the line and doesn't appear that we're ever going to have the information so I'm never going to put you back on hold is what I'm going to do even if you're listening to Spanish

it's too late. We don't know what Leslie made really, doesn't say anywhere You know she didn't make 14. I'm sorry, she just didn't. You're not paying Melissa McCarthy and Leslie Jones the same amount of money and that god-awful Ghostbusters movie. And it really ticks me off that it made $128 million. Is that tell me, please tell me the $128 million was global.

That was not U.S. Makes me feel a little bit better. We need to get someone from Gatorland on this program. And we've talked, airlines are starting to have already made new rules and regulations for emotional support animals. So you can have the emotional sport animals, but you just can't travel with them if it's, let's say, I don't know, a ferret,

a weasel, a chicken, a turkey. And people have had, you know, you've got the little show ponies, you've got the little turkeys, but I would love to talk to someone from Gatorland who is one of my favorite places on the planet in Kissimmee, Florida, which is just they're actually in Kissimmee,

but it's like the borderline of Casimir Orlando. And if you've ever gone there, it's beautiful. I've talked about it before. I love it. And the gators eat hot dogs. It's so much fun. And why am I telling you about Gatorland and emotional support animals? Hmm.

Because Joe Henney, the owner of Wally, the four and a half foot long alligator, is his emotional. support pet. Well, howdy, folks, and thank you for calling us right here at Gatorland. A virtual extravaganza, fun and excitement. Man, you're going to love this place.

Now, if you need generale information on an espaniola, why, you can press number five or English. Why, you ain't got to go nowhere. You can just stay right here. I'm going to tell you Gatorlands open every single day from 10 a.m. till the chickens come home, which is currently 5 p.m. Now, listen up. Well, it's good in here at Gatorland for just 29.

99, children 3 through 12 years of age, you're just 1999. Well, I've been living in the same and Thunder three is always free. Now, I'm sure you already know this, but you know, just the case you've been living under a rock somewhere, Gator Land is home to the all-new stomping Gator off-road swap buggy adventure and the world famous of the Freeman Gator Zip Lying. That's right. That zip lines voted top ten best zip lines in the entire world. If I'm lying, I'm dying. You know they're not letting me do the Ziplier.

Wild and crazy rides out here. You can go riding through a pond full of hungry alligators in the swamp buggies or go dangling over giant crocodiles on the zip line. Either way, you're going to end up screaming like a little girl. I don't care who you are. Now that there shall be funny to see. My reservations are highly, I see, highly recommended for the screaming gator zipline, and you can log on to gatorland.com to learn all about it and reserve your spot.

Now, get this. The best part is all-day admission to Gaterland. It's free with your zip line purchase. on Gatorland.com. Now, come on, Wally, it don't get no better than that. If you can't go on. Come on, Wally, that's the guy's pet. I'll zero during park operating hours and speak to a cute little gal.

I do want to speak to the cute little girl. Now, if you're looking for Bucer or Cooter or any of them other fun-loving folks that work here at Gator Land and you know your party's extension, why you just go ahead and press that any time. For a company directory, because you ain't sure who you're looking for, why you just press that button with the number three on it. Now you're getting the hang of it, ain't you? But if you want some general park information,

don't you dare touch a button. Well, there I go to speak Spanish again. Oh, my goodness. But anyhow, if you need to know some stuff like prices and adventures and all that cool things to do at Gator Landing, you've got to have it right this very second. I know how you are. Why, you take your big old hairy finger,

reach over there and press that number one key. Now you're getting the hang of it, ain't you? For directions to Gatorlander, or to get your address to plug into the little old, GPS thing of my jigger you got there. Press number two. Why, you can press zero at any time to speak to a real life person. I sure hope a real life person answers.

Don't make no lie out of me. I got to go of screaming and a zip-lining over some big old gaiters and crocodiles out here. So see you later, alligator. Wow. I mean, I guess we could have pushed zero. Guess we could have pushed zero and actually talk to a real-life human being maybe. but I don't know that I want to talk to Gatorland anymore.

I like going there. It didn't dissuade me from loving Gatorland. It just dissuade me from talking to the people that are there. And it all started because Wally, the four and a half foot long alligator, is this guy from York Pennsylvania's emotional support pet. That's a problem. That's a problem. Gators are not emotional support pet animals.

I'm sorry. No. And he should be, he should be checked. He should be checked. There should not be, no, no, Joe, it's not like a dog. No, he just loves to be petted. No, no. Gators are not for that.

Gators are for Gatorland and feeding them whole chickens and hot dogs. That's what gators are for. I'd ask to call Gatorland again, but I'm afraid what would happen. So there's a trust fund set up with $30 billion in it already. All I have to do is know that I have mesothilome. What is it? Methothelioma. Yeah, mesothelioma.

Mesothelioma. Why can't I say mesothelioma? That's right. I think it's a mesoth part that's throwing you on. Mesothelioma. For 30, there's a trust fund for 30 billion set up, so, I mean, just to get a little bit of that. Oh, I think, I think I've come down with, you think you have it? With mesothelomium.

What is it? Methaselioa. That's what I said. I come down with that. Do you have a cough? Yes. Chest pains? Yes.

Actually, you did have a bad chest pain turned into a heart attack. Yes. Shortness. of breath? Yes. Fatigue? Yes. Night sweats. Yes. Bloting. Yes. Nausea. Yes. Sureness of breath. I already answered yes. What are you trying to trick? These trick questions? Yeah. Weight loss. I started to yell. All of a sudden now. Yeah. Loss of appetite. Kind of? Just because I don't have one doesn't mean I don't have it. That's not fair. Ask me the questions again. chest pain

no just yes does your rib hurts I'm not asking no I'm not answering no to any of these what's your pain level either you have it all or you don't get it what's your pain level 10

oh you always have to say 10 yeah always yes yes right now your pain level is 10 but I didn't show you the smiley faces to the angry face between zero and 10 what's your pain level 10

oh you just took some medicine I know, it hasn't kicked in. Ted, we just gave you some medicine an hour ago. What's your pain level now? Nine and a half. That is so true, though. That is true, though. That's how I do it.

Wow. Wow. They're trying to treat you for what's wrong with you, and they can't do that if you're going to be dishonest. I'm not being dishonest. That's how it happens. So, I need your help. Not you, Chris.

Don't look up like you think I'm going to ask you for something. I need you to subscribe to the, to the podcast. It's all. Just subscribe to it. And then when you have to you subscribe, you can rate and review it. Most importantly, though, subscribe and share. I want you to subscribe to the podcast, and then I want you to share it with a friend or a non-friend.

I don't care whether you like the person or not. Just share it. And then you can rate and review it because that helps us grow as well. When people see the podcast, they get good reviews. And it goes up on the podcast review rating board. that's a special little podcast review rating board. Nobody knows that that exists except for me. But you can rate it 20 stars and review it best podcast ever,

so you don't even have to think about it. And then you're done. But for sure, subscribe and then share it with a friend or a non-friend, but share it none the least. One of the reasons that it's important to subscribe to this podcast is because a lot of people make mistakes on the air. They say things they don't. You know, they screw up and they don't admit it.

They never go back to it. This podcast, we own it. We own it. Like, for instance, the other day, we were offering this podcast for $100 million to El Chapo. Because he gave his, you know, he said they gave the former Mexican president 100 million. And I mean, this could be, you were listening to Chewing El Chapo for $100 million. But apparently we missed a name. We did.

We didn't get, we didn't give him a full name when we were mentioning him. Yeah, we were saying Joaquin Guzum. which is I mean this is a beautiful name a beautiful name the best name out there but there's another name that we missed right we did Joaquin Archivaldo Guzman Loera and I want to apologize that's a we were wrong and we didn't mean to not call you Joaquin Archivaldo Guzman Loera we just we weren't aware until after the broadcast and I know, you know, we made a big deal about chewing El Chapo for 100 million.

And had we known that we, obviously, obviously had we known that we, there was another name, we would have said the entire. Joaquin Archivaldo Guzman Loera. So I wanted to apologize and I wanted to say, look. This is embarrassing moment for your friend. It is. It is. I've got my tail between my legs right now.

We do. Yeah. And I just want to say, I know I said that I would chewing El Chapo for 100 million. Because we didn't give you the full title of your given name. Joaquin Archivaldo-Gusman Loera. We'll make it 90 million. Chewing El Chapo for 90 million. And we'll say the most beautiful name in history every day.

Joaquin Archivaldo, Guzman Loera. Now, we also made another mistake, and I say we, me. I made another mistake yesterday, which was pointed out to me on my Facebook page, and I wanted to apologize again. I talked about totally clips of the heart. The song totally clips of the heart, and I can't say totally clips of the heart without thinking about the song by Bonnie Raid.

And Bonnie Raid didn't sing the song. It's Bonnie Tyler. And it was pointed out to me on Facebook that, hey, idiot, wasn't Bonnie Rae. It was Bonnie Tyler. And you're right. I'm sorry. I apologize.

It was Bonnie Tyler. Totally clips of the heart. Now get off me, okay? Subscribe, rate, review, and share. Thank you. I mean, today is Friday, right? This broadcast we're recording on Friday. Look at this fat pile.

My gosh, it's supposed to be. That's just one week. It's supposed to be fat pile Friday. How about that other side? Don't ignore the other side. I know. And then the other side. Oh, I know.

Quit looking at every role. Okay. not difficult not to look at. So we talk a lot about, we've covered a lot about Netflix. You know, we've talked about them being in trouble for the Bird Box Challenge

and apologizing. And another story from the Bird Box Challenge is that they used a train scene blowing up for the horrors of the time from a Canadian train wreck that happened. And apparently it's actual footage from the Canadian train wreck, which is like the worst train wreck of all time.

Sorry. I mean, do you, want us to change the whole movie for that. And Netflix, you know, good for them, said, oh, really? Yeah, no. Thanks. Well, this is like the, this is like the Satan on the Sabrina scene.

Remember that? They caved into that, though. They gave in it to that. Yes. Well, they give him money and they give him credit. Yeah. But the scene's still there. Right.

Well, that's true. They left it in. They left the send. No, we're not taking it out. Shut up. Here's. So maybe they threw a couple bucks to, you know, the Canadian train trestle people. I'm a big train fan, life in the train age.

I love it. I love trains. Seriously, I do. Always have. So, you know, hopefully they threw them a couple of bucks. Here's to the memorial of the Canadian train trestle blow up. Thank you. But now they've added, get this, this is Netflix now, they've added 8.8 million new paid subscribers around the world.

revenue 4.19 billion. Now they, you know, they're still burning that, you know, three billion for the, for the original content, but the revenue is 4.19 billion. Now they say that fell short of targets. I mean, that's, that's again, that's a, that's a company saying,

we should make $5 billion. And they fall short by, you know, 4.0. We didn't, we're not making anything. any money. We said we were going to make 5 billion and we only made 4.19 billion. We're not making any money. We're broke. But, I mean, that's what they do, right? I mean, they overestimate. Hulu has more than 25 million subscribers now.

That's up another 47%. Amazon, you know, they are still out there and they'll never give you the numbers because their Amazon Prime numbers are kind of scoured because it's all wrapped up into one thing. You're got to be a prime member and being a prime member still gets you into, gets you into everything. And, you know, you've got AT&T and Disney rolling out their stuff. You've got HBO. Now, according to Netflix, their biggest competitor, Fortnite.

Oh. We compete and lose to Fortnite more than HBO. Why? They said when YouTube went down globally, for a few minutes in October. Viewing sign up spiked. So, and so they're talking about YouTube

more than Fortnite. They're just using Fortnite. Oh, so the streaming of Fortnite is what can bring them. That is, I know your son is a big into Fortnite. Does, I mean, into YouTube, does he watches Fortnite? Maybe.

Because Milo does and I was like, okay, let me see what this. Oh my God, that is a full production. Yeah. It's amazing. and people do storylines. We're Fortnite. I'm like, that is genius. It's for free.

My kids are YouTubers. Yeah. I mean, there's just, there is no question. The shows that we watch on Netflix and streaming and cable television are because I want them to watch them. Hey, we're going to watch this so it becomes our show. Got it. But there are shows that we watch together, my son and myself and my daughter and myself, that are strictly YouTube shows.

They're just our shows. You know, my, you know, YouTube. I watch YouTubers and all, you know, every story is, so I was watching this particular YouTuber and, and I just want to strangle them. And then I remember they're my children and I'd go to jail, so I don't. But. You don't want to do the Homer Simpson?

No, I don't want to be an animated cartoon. What is the Homer Simpson? Don't lean back like that and drink your booze that you're not supposed to be drinking during the day. where Homer strangles Bart. That's what I was talking about. I was not talking about you being yellow or a cartoon. I'm talking about that.

Well, I believe Homer Simpson, no matter what he strangles, is still a cartoon. And by the way, why are you putting my business out there? What do you mean? People don't know what I'm doing.

You don't have to tell him what my business is. I don't know what you're talking about. What you just said I was doing right now? What was I doing? Put your booze down. A little testy, are you? I am. Because you're not supposed to be drinking during the day, like I said.

Says who? I don't know me humans civil society civil and it is 2019 I don't think we've been civil since 2016

wow I think it was longer than that really we haven't been civil for a lot longer than that seriously and by the way and by the way if you want to get really testing

nobody knows whether you're drinking booze or not it's just what I say well they know it is you speak to truth so I am drinking A little margarita. That's kind of a good point. Unless I come back, you know, Monday and apologize. Yeah, exactly.

Oh, I apologize. It was a mistake. Chris drank a lot more than one glass of margarita, okay? What'd you call it? A big of margarita. Yeah, whatever. It's a whole rolling L thing. Oh, we've got to get to some of the fat pile.

I've got to get this fat pile down. My gosh. Been doing it all week, and I've got a stack of stuff here. A stack of fat. Is it a stack of fat? or a pile of fat or a pile of fat? A pile of fat? Yes.

You don't stack fat. You don't stack fat? No, you pile it. You pile fat. Okay, so I got the fat pile, which is why we call it the fat pile. Oh, wow, you just clicked too. We are complete idiots. We?

Canadian man, been banned from going on Royal Caribbean cruise liners. Oh, no. Oh. And this program loves the sadness. Oh. Yeah, no, no, no, we don't. But, I mean, you might.

I mean, your people might go on cruises, you know, get on and off the island. But no. I do not. I cruise, you're stuck on this giant. I know it's not a boat. Okay, I get it. It's like a city floating in the water. It's a hotel.

A big hotel. I mean, they're monstrous. It's one Trump Tower on the water. They are monstrous. But you may have seen the video by now where the kid videotaped himself jumping off the Symphony of Seas onto his, you know, whatever. But the Symphony of Seas from the Royal Caribbean Cruise Lenders did not like that. What? I know.

I know. They don't like filming people jumping off the ship. We like to knock them off ourselves. There you go. So he's been banned, completely banned, from the cruise line. I don't know if they've got, I don't know if they have facial recognition at the other cruise lines because they're all in collusion with each other. Are they? Oh, my gosh.

Because he could just go, you know, where has been from Royal Caribbean? They're banned from Royal Caribbean. So he could go to Caribbean Royal or the princess or carnival? Big ship is not going to let that happen. Big ship. Big ship controls all that. They do. I mean, they're in it together. You know, as soon as he walks by the prince that alarms going off.

Even the Disney Cruise? Disney Cruise. Oh, yeah. Oh my gosh. Yes. They're part of big ship. Don't kid yourself. Really?

Yes. So he's done. No more cruise lines for him. I mean, maybe if he changes his look, maybe if he waits a few years, because he's only 27. So by the time he's going to say. 60? Whoa, 60? The retirement cruise? Yeah, I mean, who are they going to knock? You can't come on. 33 years ago. You jumped off our ship. Well, it was docked. Um, yeah. It was on my Instagram page 33 years ago. What is Instagram? Right. Thank you. Nobody even has it anymore. I still have it on my original phone in my desk

drawer. What is a phone and what is a desk drawer? Thank you. So good luck. Congratulations, Actually, congratulations to a Nick native. He's a native? N-A-Y-D-E-V, Nick Native of Vancouver, Washington. Congratulations, you, sir, are the winner of no longer being allowed on cruise lines. Yay! This story's been in the pile all week, stacked in the fad pile all week. And I've been meaning to get to it because

I love the idea of doing it, but don't film it. Don't take pictures. So guy comes into Waffle House, passes out on the Waffle House counter. The worker starts putting condiments all over the guy. Like on top of it? Like he just put ketchup packages.

Oh, he actually squeezed the ketchup? That's my understanding. My understanding is, yes, it wasn't. He was not stacking fat of the guy. No? He's just squeezing ketchup, squeezing mustard all over him. It's a messy place. Huh?

That's messy. I know. But it'd be fun to do. Oh, it's fun to do. Right? But you don't take a picture. You don't take a picture or a video. And you make sure that nobody else does, right?

So apparently the Waffle House employee, um, uh, they, they were taking pictures. and filming videos and doing Instagrams. And so they've been fired. I know, big surprise. Waffle House. I mean, if you're Waffle House, you can't put up with that. It's Waffle House. The bar is not that high.

It's okay. Wow. No, it is not okay. I mean, one of the employees even got behind the man and pretended he was a puppet doing video show. Okay, if you're that asleep, you deserve to be. condimented on and he's just a puppet.

This is so funny. I mean, it's not funny at all. It's horrible doing this. Is he suing Waffle House? It doesn't look like it. Wow. It doesn't look like. We've apologized.

We learned about the event. We, free Waffles for a line. We've terminated the employees involved. There are actions no way to represent our company. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The thousands of other prostitians. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We want our customers to have a positive experience daily shut up you don't know if he didn't have a positive what if he does what he wanted no he didn't although at least the man's a fiancee shared the footage and said we don't need to go how did the fiance get the footage I don't know but she saw them you know what is this is an inside job this is an absolute inside job as soon as I saw I busted out crying so the fiance did you yes crying for pain laughter because we're laughing.

I mean, we're not laughing here. Because the outrageous prank went viral. You're famous. I didn't see it, though. It went viral and I didn't see it. I didn't see it either. I'm a little disappointed. I saw the guy jumping.

I didn't see the condoms. I know. I'm very disappointed that I didn't see the... But it didn't go viral. See the waffle? If we didn't see it. It did not go viral. I mean, I watch this stuff all the time.

I really do. And worst case scenario, my son would have come down and said, exactly. Do you see this guy at Waffle? I was going to catch up all over him? You know, when you go viral, when your son or daughter comes up to say, 90% of the time I've seen it.

Yes. 90% of the time I've seen it. Because you get shared on Facebook. Or Twitter or Instagram, whatever. I mean, or a news story. I mean, we see it.

I mean, I see it. I get news alerts. That did not go by. 24 hours a day, seven days a week. That's all, it's all we freaking do.

And we do it for you. Yes. Thank you for saying that. And we do it lovingly for you. I mean that. We suffered through it just for you. Well, I don't know,

I don't say suffered. But we went through it for you. I mean, And I worked my eyes and my tongue to the bone for you. Is that what you had the heart attack? You worked so hard? Yes. Yes, that's exactly what happened.

I don't want to blame you because I did it for you. And I did it. I chose to do it. It was my choice. So it's not your fault. Don't take blame. Don't take blame. Be happy this weekend.

But really, it's because of you that I had a heart attack about dropped over. And really, I did drop over. It's just the way it goes. Okay, can we also, two stories we have to get to before we say goodbye. All right, and I know we got to go. Get off me. All right, I know you're busy. You're almost home.

You listen to the podcast. Thank you. Don't forget. Don't forget to subscribe and rate and review it and share it with anybody. I don't care whether you like them or not. Share it. Saying, hey, here's chewing the fat. Love you by.

Or, hey, here's two in the fat. Hate you buy. Whatever it is. It doesn't matter. Just share it. Now, so, so, We were supposed to have another execution in Texas this week. And he got at the last minute, night before, halted.

The governor call? He got the governor call. We were all waiting at the room. The guy was just ready to plug in the chair. Ring ring. Is it the governor? Oh, is it the governor? And they have everybody expected the call to be.

This is the governor. go ahead and juice and plug it in. But no, it didn't happen. Unplug, unplug, unplug. Unplug. We think he's mentally handicapped. We think he's mentally handicapped. We can't fry him.

We can't fry him. What? Stop it. He would have been the first in Texas of this year. I know. And that slows down our percentage points with you. We've got to pick up the pace a little bit. Yep.

So this guy convicted in 2010 of murdering a 13-month-old child in an exorcism ritual. If this is an exorcism ritual, he's mentally capable of getting the juice. I'm sorry. No, you're not killing a 13-month-old kid and saying it's some sort of devil worship and then come to me and say,

I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah, and he was not even his kid. It was his girlfriend's kid. I mean, that really kind of, that upsets me because he's got no business walking around. Absolutely. And we've got no... Well, he's not walking around.

And we have no business. He's still in-depth raw. It's just they're not going to kill him. And we're paying for him. Oh, yeah, you're right. So whether he's walking back and forth at death row or walking up and down outside for an hour a day, whatever, whatever they do to,

whatever they do for possible tards in prison. All right. That was just a stupid joke. I realized, mentally handicapped, mentally challenged. Someone's struggling with the reality. of life. All right, so I could go a lot farther, and I've really stopped myself there.

I want you to know that. You did. I did stop myself. I saw it in your face. So you're welcome. Maybe I'm welcome. But one more story. I've got to do the story.

Because the story is just, this is another example of, you know, they want me to like all the extra overweight models. Okay. They're forcing that down my throat, down my eye. Plus size models. I'm supposed to like them.

I'm supposed to say it's okay. Yep. Everything's supposed to be okay. I'm not supposed to hate skinny people. I'm supposed to hate skinny models. Thin privilege. We've got to have, you know, the oversized, the plus size models. Men are women.

It's got to be, how dare you think a person is a man or a woman? Toxic masculinity tea. Okay. So now they, we have a big push for, uh, genuine. This encourages women to grow out their body hair in the month of January. No, baby, we're not doing that. I do not, no. No, I mean, you can do it if you'd like.

Yes. Any females in my family? I'm laying down the hammer. I'm not looking at you. That does not happen. So they're trying to tie this in because of a no-shaven November, which is supposed to raise awareness of prostate cancer. and testicular cancer and men's suicide.

Did you know that was all that we were pushing on no shape November? Prostate cancer, testicular cancer, men's suicide, doesn't anything about anal cancer. Doesn't anything about that, but maybe it just throws into under cancer. But now they want January. No. Isn't prostate cancer but cancer? No. Kind of.

But that's not where they... is kind of. I don't want to correct you because this is your show. I don't make you look stupid. No, that's fine. No. But I'm here like, you're right.

They didn't talk about cancer. But they were prostate cancer is, you know, it's like in the middle. Because those are the, you know, it's part of, part of the,

part of the back and part of the front. That's what I meant. So it's all rolled into one. That's what I said. I did cover it. That's what I said that. You're stupid. Okay, what are you 12?

No, you're stupid. There's a whole, there's like eight pages of this January story, and I'm just telling you this right now. Have a happy weekend. Enjoy the Super Moon. Enjoy the football playoffs. Have fun. Who won?

But shave. Okay. Shave. And for those of you that didn't catch more on trivia, you can go back and listen to Pat Unleashed the Friday show and listen to more on trivia, but just let me tell you that the Los Angeles Rams beat the New Orleans Saints in Moran trivia. It's going to be a tough one.

It's going to be a tough game because a lot of people are thinking New Orleans is going to win this game. And I don't know. I think I agree with Moran trivia. I think L.A. is going to beat New Orleans this year. This is their year. They're on fire. But either way, it's going to be a great game. And that's what happened during Moran Trivia.

So thank you. Have a good day. But please, for all that is holy. For all that is holy. Even if it's extra cold, I know it's winter. I know it's storming across the country. I know it's cold outside. I know you're going to want to stay inside and build a fire.

If you were smart, you bought extra firewood already. You've got to cut up. You're ready to go. Go out and get your stuff now before the big storm hit so you can just stay inside and stay warm and hope you keep electricity and hope you have power to watch the games. Shave.

That's all I ask. Shave. Janu Shave. Maybe that's my new fightback plan. January? No. Genu Shave. Doesn't really work.

I'll think of something.