Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 927 | Don’t Look Them In The Eye…

Episode Date: August 3, 2022

Bolt shuts down… Email with an ad / Call Daisy… Paul Pelosi to be arraigned today… Boob Day celebration from PETA… Monkeys still attacking in Japan & Thailand... Who Died Today: Batgirl the movie / Vin Scully 94… Last witch cleared… Elon Twitter Trial date set… Elon's dad says lose some weight… Job reviews and memories… Subscribe to the YouTube Channel… Subscribe www.blazetv.com/jeffy / Promo code jeffy… Email [e-mail]  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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South Burlington, Winooski, Richmond, California. Who doesn't love Winooski, Vermont, by the way, this time of year? And Portland, Oregon. And you're thinking to yourself, hey, what happened to my

Usain Bolt e-bike? Where did it go? It's just sitting there. in a pile on the sidewalk. I can't get it to go anywhere. That's because the company just shut down and left. No more bolt, uh,

e-bike or e-scooter anywhere in those cities. Yeah, we just shut it down. Sorry. Ah, we're just going to leave them. Don't worry about it. You guys figure out what to do with that junk, okay? Nobody was riding them anyway. Does any, seriously, seriously now,

these companies have raised a lot of money in the last few years, a lot of money. for their e-scooter e-bike business. I mean, one company, Bird announced that it was going to go public. $2.3 billion valuation. You know what it's worth now? $135 million.

You know what it's really worth? About $10 or whatever you can get for the recycling of the e-bikes and e-scooters. The scooter and bike rental company, Hellbiz or heel biz H-E-L-B-I-Z? No, don't. I don't want to hear.

It's not a morpho phallis. Debuted in the market. Last year, it's worth about 50 cents. No, 50 cents. 95% drop. There's nothing. I wonder why that is. I wonder why.

Downtown Dallas, this show is from broadcast live in Texas. And I know Dallas has those e-scooters and e-bikes, because I've seen them in downtown before and I actually saw one person riding it. I was amazed. And they had the councilman, right, or the mayor hit the kid that was on the e-scooter coming out of the parking lot.

So there's that story. Other than that, it's the only two people I know that ride them. And it's only where it's the surface of the sun in most of the country now. You're not riding the e-bikes. I mean, you barely are outside. So if you're looking for the bolt scooters and they're in that pile of the sidewalk and you're wondering, hey, how can I get that to work? You can't.

And the cities are wondering, what should we do with that pile of e-bikes and scooters? I don't know what to tell you. Give them to the kids. Let the homeless people have them. You can figure out how to turn them on. Other than that, maybe you just, I don't know. Take them to the recycling point. Here you go, guys.

Burn it up for some energy. I don't know what else to do. Welcome. Welcome to chewing the fat. Okay, so I got an email at Chewing the Fat at Theblaze.com, and you're welcome to send your correspondence to me at your leisure. Chewing the fat at theblaze.com. And this email comes from Brendan, who says,

firstly, I would like to thank you for all the entertainment and news that you bring to your audience. well, you're welcome. It goes on to say that he's from Topeka, Kansas, and I've been listening to your show daily since episode 662. I mean, I'm sure you've gone back and listened to the other 662 chewing the fats as well, right? But he doesn't say that. And he's been doing his due diligence in advertising the show, too. Well, thank you.

I appreciate it. You follow the rules. If your subscriber, whenever somebody asks you, what are you listening to, the answer is chewing the fat. I know you're going to listen to other stuff. That's fine. But when asked, you see somebody with the headphones on and they say, hey, what do you listen to?

Chewing the fat with Jeff Fisher. That's a basic answer. He says, my wife found this article picture in her Pinterest feed. And I'm a big fan of Pinterest. I mean, I have a Pinterest account. I have a couple of locked Pinterest. Okay. I don't know other people seeing them.

I think you know what I'm saying. All right. So, and she showed it to me, and I thought you might enjoy it too because I laughed out loud. So I looked at the little article. It's like a newspaper or a magazine ad. And so I don't know how old it is because I don't think we're all, you know, I'm swiping right or left. All right these days. I'm not going to the newspaper in the singles ad section.

Okay. in the singles ad section, I guess it appeared in the Atlanta Journal. Single black female seeks male companionship. Ethnicity, not important. I'm a very good-looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping,

fishing trips, cozy winter nights, lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. When you get home from work, I'll be at the front door wearing only what nature gave me. Oh, yeah. The oh yeah, it was me, not her. And it's signed.

They leave a phone number. Call, ask for Daisy. I mean, I don't even know how old Daisy is now. I don't know when this was listed. I don't know if Daisy is around, but we're calling the number. We're going to go out of Kent and call. Daisy. Okay. In this ad, the phone number is 404-555-1-2.

Okay? We are calling Daisy right now. Let's see if Daisy is still around. All right. Let's see if Daisy is there. Welcome to CenturyLink. What? What? This is Daisy's number now? City and state. I'm Daisy. That's what I want to talk to, Daisy, in Georgia.

Is this a business, government, or residential listing. Residential. It might be a business. I don't know. Daisy might be working out of this. I don't know. Could be a business.

Probably residential. I'm sorry. I didn't catch that. Is this a business, government, or residential listing? Residential. I'm sorry, but I'm having trouble hearing you. Is this a business?

Residential. Residential. Residential. I would be happy to help you with that. What listing are you calling for? Daisy 404-55-1-2-1-2. Hold on. I'm looking up your request.

What is going on with the phone lines? Let me transfer you to an operator who can assist you further. Please hold for an operator. Why are we calling? How come we had to go through the operator? I never have to do that when dialing out on these phones. I understand. What is happening?

Don't look at me and shake your head like you don't know what's going on. What is happening? Do they even have operators anymore? My mother was a phone operator for like 50 years for Michigan Bell, Bell telephone. What city place? I can still remember the headsets and all the plugs and stuff she used to work on. I used to go there all the time. See, they don't.

They don't even have operators anymore. I'm going to get somebody in Panama. I can feel it. Last time I talked to an opera, someone from a help center for Sprint was in Panama. She was great. She was really nice. During the lockdown, she could only go out once a week to get food. It's agonizing.

Oh. Daisy, Georgia? No. Yeah, I want to speak to Daisy in Georgia. Okay, this phone number, 404, 555. Oh, my sweats where we got. What city in Georgia? I'm guessing Atlanta.

I don't know. Atlanta. Moment. But I have a phone number. I have a phone number. I don't know why we ended up with you. But the phone number is 404-5-5-2-1-2. One-two.

It's 44-55-5-1-2-12. That's correct. And I'm looking for a daisy. Daisy. One moment, please. Not the BB gun, but the hummus. I'm sorry, but there is no listing found for the number 40455-5-1-2. Is there anything else I can have to do with? We've been lied to.

No, thank you very much. I appreciate your time. You've been very kind. Thank you. Have a nice day. You too. We've been lied to. This whole thing has been a ruse.

It's not even real. I am so angry right now. Not really. But I really wanted to talk to Daisy. Damn it. No, Daisy or not. That's good stuff. So as of this recording, I'm still a little angry over Daisy, to be honest with you.

I really wanted to talk to Daisy and see if she was still available, but I guess not. As of this morning, Paul Pelosi is going to be arraigned for his DUI in San Francisco. So I don't know the outcome. I'll talk to you tomorrow on what the outcome was, what he's going to be. He's going to be fined, get his hand slapped, he's going to have to pay for the medical care of the guy in the Jeep. because it was, according to the reports, it was a major collision. I'm sorry, major collision damage in the crash on the 28th of May. And Pelosi was in his driver's seat in his damaged car near that intersection.

And the other guy, John Doe, was out of his vehicle, out of the Jeep, leaning up against his car. And he said, everything's fine. and they asked Paul for his driver's license. Paul gives him the driver's license and his 1199 foundation card, his way of saying, hey, I donate a lot of money to scholarships for the California Highway Patrol's children, so let me go. Without saying anything, just give him the 1199 card. I'm not going to say that I'm giving you a bunch of cash,

but you know it's happening, okay? And this still didn't work. So he has signs of impairment. Of course, we're talking about Nancy's husband, Paul Pelosi. They've been married for a thousand years now. And I believe that he was coming back from the girlfriend's house. She was on the East Coast doing something on the East Coast, long gone. And he was out at some friend's house coming home.

Uh-huh. Okay. I mean, if you were married to Nancy, hello. So he had slurred speech, strong odor of alcohol beverage. You know, that sounds like, you know, I'm not saying that the guy wasn't drunk. He blew a 0.082, which is, I don't know, a couple of drinks, two or three drinks maybe, depending on weight. And Paul's, you know, I don't know what Paul pulls ways.

I've seen the pictures of him on the beach with Nancy. Pretty hot, actually. He was a Nancy I'm talking about. So he's probably, what, a couple hundred pounds, maybe, 180 pounds, something like that. So that's like two or three drinks, blowing over 182. It's not too bad. Drug driving is drug driving, Jeff. I know.

I know, and I don't recommend it. And they also say that he had drug in his system. Oh, all right. No problem. And they were both fine. They both declined medical treatment on the scene, which is a mistake. Never declined medical treatment. on an accident because you want to have the paperwork, man.

You got to have that paperwork. Because now the guy, John Doe, realized, oh, that's Paul Pelosi, Mr. billionaire, Mr. multimillionaire. He's worth a lot of money. And plus his wife is the Speaker of the House, Congresswoman. Yeah. Oh, oh, my upper right arm and my shoulder and my neck since the crash. Oh, I've been getting these headaches.

And I can't lift things with my right arm. right arm? Shut up. I mean, come on. I mean, I would probably try the same thing, to be honest, but you can't, and I'm you're a little late to the party. Okay. So we'll see. Of course, Pelosi's attorney talks about the drug reference being a statutory boiler

plate language. I put that in everybody's DUI, which I mean, it's probably true. So we'll see what happens. I'm sure that he'll pay the fine. He'll have the buy the guy the new Jeep, pay for his medical bills, have to go to DUI school, promise he'll never drive drunk again,

be on probation for a couple of years, and that'll be the end of it. And we'll, you know, I'm sure that's probably what's going to happen. But we shall see. It's interesting, though. Just remember, this is a rule of fat right here. if you're in an accident

I don't want you to be hurt I don't but if there's a possibility you always ask for medical attention right then so that you have the paper trail because I we were rear-ended ones

rear-ended darn near killed them yeah and everything was fine I remember I could still see I was up to the red light I could still see in the rear view of mirror I can see it in my mind's up I can see that car coming up and going,

that guy is going way too fast. And I can see my oldest son was just a little kid in a car seat then in the middle. I can still see his car seat screaming up, you know, put up away from the car seat. I didn't do what it was supposed to do, right? I mean, it saved everybody's life. But my wife was in the rider's seat and we didn't get medical attention mistake because she paid for that with, you know,

serious neck damage after it. I mean, it was a nightmare getting things to get taken care of insurance-wise from all the people in the accident because, you know, like I got hit. If I remember that right now, it's all coming back to me now, which is starting to tick me off

because if I remember right, this guy hit me in the rear of my car by four-door Osmobile. I love that car. And $8,000 I paid for that car used. You can't find that car in today's world. Anyway, but because I hit the guy in front of me, then that's my fault. All right? So I get hit, but I wasn't parked far enough away.

I was supposed to park, I guess, eight miles back at the red light. I was sure that's what happened. No, maybe I'm wrong. I don't remember. I just remember fighting the insurance company over trying to get my wife help for a bad neck. Anyway, file the paperwork. All from Paul Pelosi, being drunk. I'll stop now.

All right, let's go to the break room. I need something cold to drink desperately. Oh, my gosh. So good. All right, as long as I've got you in the break room, I want to tell you about, I like knowing exactly where my meat comes from. That's a fact.

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Moinkbox.com slash jeffy. So yesterday was a day of celebration for many, and I didn't mention it on the show because I kind of wanted to keep it to myself. uh national boob day and uh what a celebration we had for a national boob day but i see my friends uh you know if you love them over at pita uh were criticized i mean if you're going to celebrate national boob day okay i'm all right with you celebrating but they had uh tweeted out are you drinking from a cow's boobs of this national boob day

and they had the guy you know underneath the cow sucking on the cow teat and uh you know the cow is looking mean of course because PETA believes that all animals look mean at humans and now that we have

your attention the dairy industry doesn't want you to watch this but cows are literally dying for you to see it ditch dairy now I can watch this video It says the following media includes potentially sensitive content. That's want to be clear that any time Twitter or Instagram tells me or Facebook,

I'm sorry, meta, the following media includes potentially sensitive content, I'm clicking on it. That doesn't make me not watch something. All right? That makes me watch something. I'm not going to. Oh, my gosh. It's sensitive content.

No, I don't want to watch that. So let's see what it says here. What it has, it's got a video of, let's see, this baby was torn away from her mother. Oh, no, it's sad baby cows. Torn away from his mother and was just shaking. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. And this cow was trapped in quicksand. Yeah, until the farmer came. Got it out of there. The farmer doesn't want it. Oh, no. This cow had an infected hoof. That's a problem.

I mean, the farmer should be taken care of that. There's no doubt about that. But, I mean, I was raised on, I was raised. I grew up throwing cow patties. You know, my brother and I and my friend across the way, across the field, dairy farm. We would throw, I couldn't remember coming back across the field. I probably told the story not long ago because we was talking about coming up coming out of the cornfield.

I remember, and not, you know, the cornfield that fed the cows. Coming home with cow poop all over me and my mom saying, freeze right there, mister. All the clothes off in the yard getting hosed off right there. That is not, you are not coming in the house like that.

That is not happening. Freeze right there, mister. That was it. They're not doing that. So anyway, PETA cares. Peter cares as they celebrate National Boob Day. I hope you had a very special celebration for National Boob Day. And if you didn't know that the 2nd of August was National Boob Day,

put it on your calendar and you can celebrate. Now, you know, any day could be Boob Day, just so you know. You don't have to actually celebrate on the national particular day. You can celebrate it any day. So just saying you can. You know, I see the pictures that PETA puts out of, you know, the harming of the animals. But nobody wants that. Nobody wants the farmers to harm their animals or the evil farmers.

But it doesn't stop me from going, oh, those darn farmers are treating those cows so bad. I don't want to eat steak anymore. No, I do. I do. Do I want you to be mean to the animals? No. But they're animals. Humans first.

That's a theme here on chewing the fat. Humans first. You know, I talked about the monkeys in Japan, the gang of monkeys, okay? Now, they killed the head gang leader, or at least they killed one of the gang members. All right, so the monkeys are still attacking people in Japan. He swarms of monkeys.

They brought in a special crew of investigators and shooters to hunt down these monkeys. It's incredible that it's still going on. I can't believe it. They're under attack in Japan by monkeys. They're trying to snatch babies. They're biting.

They're clawing. No. Humans first. Is that one of them right there? Yes. Is that a monkey? Yes. Thank you.

Goodbye. Hello to monkey. Is that another one over there? Thank you. Now, the first one that they got, they tranquilized it. And then they, I told you, they tranquillized it. They took it away. They looked for the tats.

They got the gang tats on the monkey. They said, yep, he's in the gang. And then they shot it. I'm sorry, they didn't shoot it. They put him down. It was reported they put him down. I'm sure that they didn't have the guts just to shoot him right then. And I know we're not supposed to kill primates.

I get it. but if they're attacking humans, yeah, sorry, you're going down. Humans first. Then I see another story about monkeys in Thailand are starting to cause havoc. Remember, we talked about the monkeys going crazy because there were no tourists, right, during the COVID.

So now people are starting to come back. And the monkeys have all been, you know, they've had this time alone and are over there, you know, and people got some food they got some drinks and we're going to take that and that's ours uh no

they're attacking people uh no that's why you have to travel uh if you're going to go somewhere where it's possible that there are monkeys that are going to attack humans bring your weapon because when the monkey starts attacking you're going down

and I would say I would say bring a gun that you don't have to even cock. All right, just bring the gun that you look at the monkey and go. Yeah, you're going down. Don't take the time to cock that thing. You want the automatic weapon, man. I'm serious, man. Is that monkey trying to grab my kid?

Goodbye. Have a nice day. And that'll stop the other ones too. A couple of the other little monkeys will go, whoa. I'm going to sit back here and smoke my cigarette. Let these people go on by. The humans first. They tell you, when confronted by a monkey,

do not look them in the eye. Make yourself look as big as possible, such as by spreading open your coat, then back away as quietly as possible without making sudden moves. No? Here we go. Are those a couple of monkeys right there and I'm walking down the street.

First of all, I don't need to make myself as big as possible because I am as big as possible. Second, monkeys, I don't need to make myself big. I'm not backing away. I'm not changing where I'm going. No, I want to go there. I'm the human. I would like to go see that store.

Are those monkeys trying to stop me from going to that store? Anyone else? Any other monkeys around? That's what I thought. I'm going to the store. Somebody needs to clean this up too. I don't want to have to walk by here again. With Amex Platinum, $400 in annual credits for travel and dining means you not only satisfy your travel bug, but your taste buds too.

That's the powerful backing of Amex. Conditions apply. Okay, who died today? Who died today? First, Batgirl. the movie dead I know

they spent 90 million on this 90 million bucks and when they had budgeted 80 million and it ended up costing them another 10 million because of COVID protocols so you know

they were all ready to go it's been shot it's all good to go you know we're not going to do that oh yeah Warner Brothers we're not going to be releasing a bad girl uh yeah we i know we completed the filming but and i we're just not going to do it listen

the decision not to release bad girl reflects our leadership's strategic shift as it relates to the dc universe and hbo max oh leslie grace is an incredibly talented actor and this decision is not a reflection on her performance yeah it is i got news for you Yeah, it is. So we are incredibly grateful to the filmmakers of Bat Girl and Scoob Holiday Haunt and their perspective. This is another, oh, I didn't realize they pulled the plug on two of them. So now you're not going to get Bat Girl or Scoob Holiday Haunt. The White Belt, we'll have to wipe away my tears.

we're grateful. We're grateful to these filmmakers and their respective cast, and we hope to collaborate with everyone again in the near future. Do you? Do you? Okay.

Maybe they do. Maybe they do. Maybe they got down. They looked at the final cut to Batgirl and Scoob holiday haunt. And they thought, you know what? Nope.

Not going to do it. But we already spent 90 million. Yeah. So what? We bite the bullet on this, my friends. All right. We don't want people to see it. We'll just put it in the can.

In fact, burn it. Burn it. We're just losing money is just gone. Everybody got paid. We're done. I don't want people to see this god awful thing. Now, maybe not. Maybe we can be fortunate enough in a couple years that HBO Max says,

you know, we've got Scoob a holiday haunt in the closet. We could just bring that out and release that. Oh, yeah, let's do that. I don't think you have to worry about that. I don't think that's going to happen. Anyway, Batgirl and Scoob Holiday Haunt dead from HBO Max. Also, Vin Scully, legendary broadcaster, Vin Scully, voice of the Los Angeles Dodgers for a million years.

He's the only person ever to be the broadcaster of the Los Angeles Dodgers for a million years. All right, so I was like, I don't know, 60 some years. It was a long time. Vin Scully, legend. 94, passed away. Rest and peace, man.

And I wondered, I knew. I kept getting people sending me Vince Scully Clips last night. I'm like, oh, no. Why do people care about Vince Scully clips all of a sudden? Because, it has to be because

it's over. He left us. It's gone. Now, It says, I don't think it said, I don't think it said why, what the cause of death was. It was just, he was with his family, of course, and we loved him. We got the presidential national freedom, died at his home in Hidden Hills, survived by five children, six grandchild.

Yeah, it doesn't say. It was just everybody's around him. But it did, I will say that one clip that was sent to me by VIN was, pretty incredible. Socialism failing to work as it always does. Right. This time in Venezuela.

You talk about giving everybody something free and all of a sudden there's no food to eat. And who do you think is the richest person in Venezuela? The daughter of Hugo Chavez. Hello. Anyway, O and two.

Anyway, O and two. We're between pitches. Anyway, we're going to do it. That I love. That's baseball, man. Rich green finches, we've got to fill some time. Yeah, Venezuela sucks. Socialism sucks.

Anyway, the richest person in Venezuela. Yeah, the daughter of Hugo Shagos. Anyway, oh, and two. It's awesome. That's awesome. That's America right there, my friends. That's a Vince Cully, American. Dead, the age of 94.

Anyway, oh and two. I love that. I don't know. Anyway. Oh, and two. The middle of the pitches. We're in the smack dab in the middle of the...

It's not even the inning break. He's just in between pitches. Anyway, oh, and two. Let me tell you about... Let me tell you about... Let me tell you about Gatorade. They're sponsoring this pitch right here. I love that.

That's baseball announcing right there. So we have, uh, thankfully, thankfully, the final witch. Elizabeth Johnson, Jr., sentenced to death in 1693 for witchcraft. She's been exonerated. I'm sure she feels much better about it.

She's happy. We've exonerated her. Yeah, never mind that we killed her back in 1693 for being a witch. Ah, you know what? She probably wasn't. Oh, really? Yeah. So I guess there was a middle school teacher spent years lobbying for her acquittal with their students.

I guess it gave the kids some. to do try to quit the witch um i hope we you know figured out why they thought she was a witch and most of them weren't witches i know so uh they finally cleared the old non-witches name part of a 53 billion dollar state budget plan oh that was just involved in the budget i got you so it was in the budget you know what we're going to clear the witch's names too okay good Thank you, Governor. Appreciate it. So she was the victim of a witch hunt.

Oh, okay. She also disappointed that she couldn't share the moment with her students who are currently on summer vacation. I'm sure. I'm sure it'll be okay. They'll understand. We did it. We did it. You'll be able to have a big witchcraft celebration when you come back.

Yay! Yay. So she was the only non-witch left in the books that needed exonerations from, and after descendants. So some of the descendants, probably. My great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,

great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, was killed for being a witch, and now she's been exonerated. So. Put that in your cauldron. And I see, speaking of trials, where we've decided that we know the dates now that they're going to, Elon's going to be in front of the judge with Twitter in Delaware, the Delaware Court of Chancery. October 17th through the 21st. They're going to be there.

The two will have an expedited trial focused on whether the billionaire's termination of his agreement to acquire Twitter was justifiable. So does that mean if the judge says, oh, it wasn't justifiable, you have to pay them $44 billion, and it's yours? I mean, where the judge is going to tell him what he can do with his money,

what he can't do with his money? Okay. Or does he just say, you know, it really wasn't justified. You guys need to work out a better deal. It seems to me. And I think, didn't they, I thought it was reported

that they had a deal where if it wasn't, if they either one pulled out, they had to pay like, I don't know, one or two million or something. I spit on a million dollars. All right, I'm worth $200 billion. Here, take that with you, get out of here, all right? Get yourself a little something on the way out too, okay? I need a little walking around money, Elon.

Here's a million. Get out of here, all right? I've got like 80 kids, and I've got rocket ships in Texas. I've got rocket ships in Florida. I got car companies all over the world. I spit on your million dollars. Okay, here you go, Twitter. So we'll see what happens if Elon is going to take over Twitter.

Twitter's definitely back to being Twitter these days. When it was looking like Elon was going to take it over, they definitely stopped being Twitter. What we know of is Twitter. and then when Elon said, no more, they went back to be in Twitter for sure. So we'll see what happens.

You know what I mean. They were banning people and putting different posts. Again, if you tell me, this is an offensive tweet. I'm looking at it. All right, don't tell me that. I'm looking at it. And I said, remember the story we did on his dad?

What a terrible person he was and how the dad was the father of a couple of kids from his stepdaughter. and oh yeah oh yeah we brought the got rid of the old hag wife and brought in the stepdaughter we adopted and we took care of a little business

and he's got a couple of kids with her and so Elon was saying what a terrible person his dad was and he hates him he's such an evil guy and so remember the pictures of Elon on vacation he was on the ship

and everybody was making fun of his weight and say that he had put on weight and I mean who among us first of all I mean we all we all can't be Brad Pitt wearing skirts and having our calves tattooed

okay I got it so but the dad was like oh I'll take some diet pills and lose some weight his dad's holler out of being a fat kid I mean I wonder they don't like each other his whole life I mean the kid is like told that his dad told him he was worthless

his whole life I've been eating badly I take some weight loss pills it's awesome so love you too dad take care you evil bastard anyway oh and two

it's my honor of Vince Kelly today it's no matter what from now on the rest of the day and someone says something to me I'm just going to go Anyway, oh and two. That's my work. It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything.

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Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. So I was looking at these stories yesterday. BuzzFeed put out this list of people talking about their real jobs. You know, they were upset of revealing secrets from their jobs that more people should know. Some of these get very dark. So it was almost, you know, it was a click-baitish kind of story, but I didn't have to click on pictures.

It was all one story, so I'm okay. not as long as I'm scrolling through it, that's fine. You got me on time, though. You got me on time on your website, on your screen. All right, but I'm not clicking 85 pictures. We've been through that. And it still, remember, it still should be illegal, too, by the way, that if you have a clickbait picture of someone,

and they say, look what they look like now, and I don't get to it by picture 10, I'm done with you. I'm done with you. I don't want to get that one. the one it took me like 60 or 70 before I finally got to the picture that was

the one that made me click on it that should be illegal they should shut down the website completely because of that. I want everybody, I don't want people to lose their jobs but I do want to play shut down so if it costs them their jobs, darn the luck. Oh well. So I worked in for rent,

this one, Anonymous in Florida. I worked in forensics for years. People think it's really cool because of shows like CSI and NCIS, but it's really a lot of gross scenes and burglaries and not many homicides. We don't interview suspects. We don't have guns. We work a scene for a few hours or a few days, and then we go home, exhausted and filthy. We're highly educated and trained in what we do, but we can still get pushed around by

detectives who want scenes to work their way. Not the right way. It's nowhere near as glamorous as the shows make it seem. We definitely don't wear heels. So wait, your job isn't like it's portrayed on an entertainment television show? Get out of here. I won't hear of it. I work in a grocery store.

We never have never have more in the back. Well, what kind of dump do you work at ever? If we had it, I guarantee you we'd have it on the shelf. If you ask an employee, if they have more of something in backstock, and they will walk to the back room and just stand there for three minutes. Maybe longer if you give us attitude. Now, I will say, having worked in the grocery business for many years, there was always backstock,

but you try to have the least amount of backstock in the back. You do want people to buy, But there are times when you have sale items and you have a lot of extra stuff. I mean, stores like to buy big products that they sell a lot of on sale so that when it goes off sale, they put it back to regular price

and they make that money. All right? So in today's world, they probably jip you out of that. I think we've talked about it before where if you buy, let's say, for example, I bought 10 cases at $2 a case. And then tomorrow the sale goes off

that I'm selling the sodas at and it goes back up to four bucks a case. Well, I've made the difference right on the cases that I have left. But in today's world, they probably redo that. Oh, you have eight left. Well, those will go back up to $4 now, not $2. So you're making the same amount as always. That's what they do to gas stations.

That's how gas stations, you know, with their margins. Like if you have gas at, you know, $100 a gallon and it goes up to, and you bought a bunch at $100 a gallon, and it goes up to $200 a gallon. You don't get to make that extra money you're making isn't yours. The company says, oh, yeah, well, you still has 50 gallons in there so they make up the difference on you. Anyway, but they do.

Sometimes there is stuff in the back, but I will say I have done that before, knowing that we don't have product in the back. Yeah, let me go check and just go to the back room, fire up a smoke, catch a couple of hits off the smoke. That's back when you could sneak a smoke in the back of a grocery store. Can't do that anymore, man.

They shoot you dead. They shoot you dead. There's bodies roll out of the back of grocery stores. When you see bodies rolling out of the back of grocery stores, yeah, that was somebody trying to sneak a smoke in the back of the stores. Plus the Walmart stores have really small backstock areas. I mean, they are, a lot of times are really jam-packed, especially when they get trucks and stuff.

When I worked for, when I worked for Nabisco for a short period, you know, that was my, I had a couple of, Walmart's and a couple of targets and you order the Nubiscoe you set up displays and then the shipment comes and you get there put the product out on the shelves and the displays and they want you there on the day the shipment comes man

I don't want that stuff sitting around in the back collecting you know there's not all that stuff in the back bro none of it which is why when you have damaged product especially when you work for Nabisco you take it with you you know leave it there for someone to pick up that would be silly oops

has that box of Oreos Darn the luck. I'll just have to take that with me. I work at a home improvement place as a summer job. This is from Hey, it's madness. I work at a home improvement place as a summer job, and the amount of times I have gotten hit on by creepy old men is ridiculous.

They think very low of you, yet ask you why you don't have a boyfriend and how they could fix it. They like to ask me my age, A lot too. It can be a fun job at times, but the certain men that are extremely sexist and creepy and just plain rude make me thankful it's only a summer job Well, first of all, first of all, I'm not real sure Why they think very low of you if they're asking you hey How old are you because I want to make sure you're an adult? I mean hello. That's not creepy. That's just

trying to follow the law. They're under age, you've got to leave a B. I mean, if you're hitting on chicks that are working at Home Depot, bro, come on now. Girls, how are you doing? Oh, yeah.

Excuse me. Hey, cruiser. Hey. Hey, little girl. You know where I can find the hammers? You guys sell any bedding around here? Oh, yeah.

Nothing I like. All right. Stop. At Home Depot? Why not? Why not? You know, let's take a shot. I get it.

You're at Home Depot is the only time you get away from the wife. Why not take a shot? Hey, I like a girl with a work belt on. Oh, yeah. All right, stop. All right, stop. I'm currently working as a student in Balmer. Man, who doesn't want that gig?

This is from 32, New York. I'm currently working as a student in Balmer. It's amazing how many people ask me what we do with the man part of men we have in the prep room. Really? If you want to know, what do you think they do? If you're an embalmer and you're embalming people, aren't you supposed to, they're supposed to be intact?

I mean, that's the deal, right? We do not cut the band parts off. Wow. Why would that even be a thing? Thank you. Why would that be a thing? Well, I mean, I can understand why that would be a thing, but, I mean, that's something you just don't talk about.

That's black market stuff. And you just do. Right, you just, hey. I'll meet you in the back. How many man parts you got for me today? Nah, that was too small. I don't need that one. Send that one back.

The people I work with are extremely professional, and there's a level of care and respect that goes into the job. Oh, thank you. Thank you, Inbalmer, student. Man, what kind of... There's got to be a better gig out there as a student, right? I guess if you wanted to be a funeral director, wanted to work for NCIS or

CIS. CSI, right? Not CIS, CSI, yeah. That show first came out, never mind. NCIS still going strong, though, except that it's over with now because Mark Harmon gave it up. They're coming back for another season and stuff,

and Mark is still a part of it, but he's not out of the shows. I like a lot of the characters, but without Gibbs, man, hello. That's CIS. I've been a teacher for 30 years trying to continue for a few more years. This is from 54, Texas.

Things were bad but manageable before the pandemic, but now everyone is burnt out. Teachers are leaving left and right and everyone else is finding an exit strategy. Everyone who leaves makes more money with less stress. More is piled on our plate with little support. Some are at least lucky to have good principles. The only thing keeping us are the kids.

Most of them want to learn, but they are behind. It becomes harder to motivate them. Sometimes parents are allies, but you're mostly on your own. I could probably retire and then drive people to the airport half time. Make more than I do now with half the time. You become an Uber driver. There you go.

It's a lot you need a little, I mean, seriously, get to your therapist, get some help. It'll be okay, all right? You're not going to be happy because you know what's going to happen. 54 Texas. Hey, I just want to get to the airport lady. Shut up. I don't care that you used to be a teacher, okay? I don't care.

Just drive me to the airport. I've been a, this is from 48 New Mexico. I've been a mammography X-ray technologist for 25 years. There have always been rude patients, but it seems to be much worse over the last three years. For some reason, people think they could be as rude as they want to be, and we're just supposed to smile and, take it. I've been cussed out using

the F word, been called terrible names. I have a clipboard thrown at me. Oh, no. Oh, no, honey. So, you're using your machine and squeezing females' breasts as hard as they possibly can, and you're upset that these women are upset?

Okay. All right. I don't think anybody's getting mad at you just for the X-ray. That could be wrong, though. I mean, maybe you ought to nice and up a little bit. Okay? Just nice and up, just a little bit. I'm an airport customer service agent. Your office is 2 million square feet and you're void of any micromanaging and you're supplied with a constant flow of new friends and staff.

Many people get trapped in these roles is what we call the golden handcuffs because of the flight benefits like round trip to London from Canada with 78 bucks. You just pay the tax on flights. The job itself is taxing as you work wild shifts. The airport is 24-7. I don't think the airport is 24-7 anymore. Maybe some of the workers are working 24-7, but, you know, I don't see a lot of flights at night anymore. I mean, only the delivery flights. I mean, UPS and FedEx and Amazon.

But the other landing strips, those are shut down, man. Anyway, it's a ton of fun. Each day is totally unique. I have many great stories of interacting with people at the airport, and the majority of them come from being outrageously upset or having poor judgment. So great. That's so nice. I'm glad you taste.

I mean, it's good that you love your job. But I've dealt with a few of the people who work at the airports. And it, I can understand. I can understand being frustrated with them because I have been frustrated with them. And I'll leave you with this from 55, Washington. A paralegal does 98. percent of the lawyer's job. Most lawyers are

narcissists who only love is counting how much money they make. They have no sympathy for their clients. It's all an act. Parallegals have their client's best interest at heart and form real bonds with their clients.

Oh, here's an idea, paralegal. Why don't you just become a lawyer then if you hate them so much? Oh, you can't become what you hate? Okay. So is the the paralegal joke the same as the lawyer joke. Hey, what do you call a paralegal at the bottom of the ocean? A good start!

Oh, wait, you mean paralegals are not assistants? They're long-term certified professionals. I'm supposed to be nice to them when working with attorneys because they control everything and they could just take everything that's going good on your lawsuit case. Okay, sorry. Just a joke. Just a joke.

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