Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 95 | Baby Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor, BOO BEES?, & Airplane Problems

Episode Date: May 8, 2019

You know it! Jeffy and Kris Cruz breakdown what's happening at the House of Sussex. We have a name & somehow we started a new segment "Jokes by Jules" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How is it that I cannot talk politics on this podcast? You can't. You just don't want to. For the love of all that is holy and sacred in this world, can our elected officials please, please do something other than trying to get rid of Donald Trump. Anything. Anything. Just something other than getting rid of Donald Trump.

Hello. It's winter. Thank you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What it is, I did Pat this morning, and he gets me in this political mindset a little bit, and I get thrown off.

So, sorry. I apologize. Plus, Harrison. I'm sorry? I'll say four more words to you. Archie Harrison. Mountbatten, Windsor. The new royal baby.

It's been shown to us today. Cute little thing, cutest little thing ever. Mom and dad walked out into the St. George Hall that nobody's supposed to go in, by the way. Just a little helpful hint. And we didn't really see, I mean, we don't even know if it's real,

to be honest with you. We don't even, the kids not even move it. We don't know if it's real. Are they going to show? Yo, Archie! Archie! We didn't know his name was Archie at this time, though, when they came. Step up, step up, go on to the camera here.

All right, we got the pictures. Let's do some question and answers. Q and A, let's go. We only care about the baby. Show the baby. Kud. Yeah, so we care about. And we care about mom. Mom looks fine. Mom's dressed up, made-up looks good.

She looks like she's starting to fight back a little bit better. You know, still a little priggers. Hello, hi. Congratulations. Thanks for taking the time out. I know you guys must be really, really busy. Yeah, no, we had a schedule for the last couple days. Remember you told us the last time when you announced them at birth that we'd see in a couple days with the baby? Remember, we was all on the schedule? But go ahead. Megan, can you tell me this what's like becoming a new mom and tell us a little bit about baby Sussex, as we call it?

It's magic. It's pretty amazing. I mean, I have the two best guys in the world, so I'm really happy. I'm sorry, what's with the accent? What's with the accent? What's that accent? She's just the mom. It rubs off. I'm a British now.

I'm no longer I speak American. I'm a British. Do people speak American? Is that what it is? Is that what it is to speak American? Yes, yes, because I get that all the time in high school when I spoke Spanish. You got a douche over. Can you speak American?

No. Were those classmates? Yes, classmates. Because you went to somewhat stupid school. I probably did. I probably did. It was in regnant country. Did you inform them or did the teacher inform them?

It's not American. Sit your ass down. Do some book reading. Tell us a little bit about your son. What's what do you like? Is he sleepy well, good baby? Yes. He has the sweetest temperament.

All right, stubbornness. I can't tell you. I know No, never mind, go ahead Calm and You got some I know, I love me too I will say this

Harry does love Megan He does, you can tell Would you watch it? You can tell. If those of you that We're going to have to, I'm going to give you an end service today on how to watch

Chew of the Fat But for those of you watching right now You can see how much he really I mean, he really does love her And so that's nice Megan wants. Megan gets in a special couple days

who does he take after does he look up like anyone we're still trying to figure that out everyone says that babies change so much over two weeks we're basically I'm sorry I'm sorry what no no no no no

oh my gosh I told you that baby was not born on Monday I told you that baby was born on Monday it was questioned it was questioned right and over the weekend they stopped the bed because they thought the baby was here and they didn't

They weren't sure. Henry just confirmed. Prince Henry just confirmed. That's not what he meant, I don't think. Okay, listen again. Because I think what he's saying is that the baby's changing two weeks. Right. That's what you have to say when the baby was born two weeks ago and passed a test.

Everyone says that babies change so much over two weeks. That's just a slip in the top. See, Megan read the script. She did. She read the script. She said what the queen told them to say. freaking Henry here, Prince Henry, just blew it out of...

Because it does... It does... I want to be on the side, but it does sound like it. Because it is. Listen again, Jeffrey. We're still trying to figure that out. Everyone says that babies change so much

over two weeks. We're basically... Oh! Basically, all right, go ahead. How the changing process happens over this next month, really. See? This next month, really.

So he's talking about that. So now the baby was born a month ago. And over the next month, that's what he's talking about. He's just talking about the kids change so fast. First couple of days, you don't really know. But you do, though. You do have a good look with it. You know, I mean, I've been to every birth of my children.

I had a couple of them. I told them weren't mine. But they do, you know, they're your kids. You know what they look like. Now there's kids that look like both parents. All my kids when they were young looked like both of us. all the moms and me. By the way, if a baby's ugly,

do you tell the parent that it's an ugly baby? They know. Do they know? Yeah. Do they know? Yes. Yes. Okay.

Yes. His looks are changing every single day. So who knows? He's back on screen. How you find parenting generally? Is it still special? All right. See, this is where I get to how do you find parenting generally?

This is what, this would, I know this is a little press conference and somewhere out to get it and everything. Okay, but how do you think take parenting in general? Well, it's been two weeks now. Royals. It's been two weeks. It's been really difficult. I've had to wake up twice and make sure that the nanny was taking care of it.

We have the speaker because Megan likes to be able to, you know, wake up and hear the baby. But we're just so exhausted. We don't want to have to run over there and take care of it. So we set up another speaker so that when the baby wakes up, Megan can wake up and let the nanny know that they need to go take care of a little Archibald I'm sorry, it's Archibald.

It's got to be Archibald. We'll get into the name thing here a little bit. Let them finish up there in the St. George Hall. It's amazing. It's only been what, two and a half days, three days. See? Back on script. He knows.

He's back on script. He knows. Exactly. He's back on script. It's a slip of the tongue. Was it? Yeah, it's a slip of the tongue. But we're just so thrilled to have our own little

bundle of joy, we have to spend some precious times with him as he slowly, slowly starts to grow up. And I hate you've been off to see two special people in the minutes. Yes. The Queen and the Duke. Yes, and we just bumped into the Duke as we were walking by, which was so nice. So it'll be a nice moment to introduce the baby to more family and my mom's with us as well. So it's been a really... Can't bring up on mom.

Here we go. Another great grandchild. Can we have a little peek? We just can't quite see his face. See? And they don't let you see it. Wow. Can we have at least the guy, at least they got the guy.

That guy is like, how about you drop the blanket down a little bit? We have a little peek. Thank you all so much. They didn't do it though. I'm sorry. And thank you. You're welcome.

See, there was no accent there. It's just an accent. What little accent she has. She forgot. She forgot. What little accent she has. It's because she lives there. You pick up where you live.

You pick up accents wherever you live. That's what people do. By the way, if I want to see a royal baby, I expect it to be treated like the Lion King. I want that baby to be held like Mufasa. Like Mufasa. Like Mufat, like Simba was held. Yes.

Yes. Bring the kid out. Let's see it. Here he is. Oh, this is Archibald right here. Check him out. Although he's not Archie yet because we didn't tell you his name right now in the Great All. We told everybody the name later

after we introduced him to everybody. So that's his name, which is, I don't mind, I wish it was Archibald. I don't care that it's Archie. I don't care if they call him Archie. They can introduce him as Archie. They can play with him as Archie. They can call him Archie on their social media post,

whatever they want. But his given name should have been Archibald. Archibald, Harrison, Mountbatten, Windsor. I do like that. I do like the Mountbatten Windsor stuff. But he does in game Merkel? or he's a royal

but Merkel's not there that's not happening that is not happening that might be that might be over here when she has to register him here in the States but that ain't happening there

oh when they go to South Africa yeah when they go to South Africa yeah what's the kid's last name Mountbatten Windsor no seriously what's the kid's last name by the way that I love that Mountain Bear me too Mountbatten Windsor I love it

now according to according to our deep investigation, Wikipedia, senior titled members of the royal family do not usually use a surname. Okay, so there's, you know, I mean, nobody is called, right.

Idiots. So since 1960, Mountbatten Windsor incorporated Prince Phillips adopted surname of Mountbatten, which I love. I do like Mountbatten. Has been prescribed as the surname for Elizabeth II's direct descendants who do not have royal styles and titles.

Right? So, I mean, he's not even good. I mean, they didn't even go with Lord. I know, which is weird because he should have been Lord Archibald. Harrison Mountbatten Windsor. Yes. What are they? I mean, they've had two weeks to think this out.

Well, a little insider to the world family has told us that they're not happy with the name. because they broke kind of like tradition. And Archie's more modern. Archibald is from the 1700s. This Archie is more, you know, because we all know the big famous Archies of the world. Of course. NFL quarterback Archie Manning.

Archie, great NFL quarterback, great college quarterback, great father, had two great players. I mean, one is still playing. One is retired, great. And you got, of course, the jazz saxophonist Archie Shep. Who? Really? You're embarrassing yourself.

I'm a Jev a jazz fan. You never have Archie Shep? Oh, oh, oh, oh, Archie Shep. What was I thinking? Yeah. And of course, we all know. The world knows Archie Shep, the jazz. Duh.

And of course we all know the red-headed cartoon teenager, Archie Andrews. Is that this last name? Yes. I don't know that I probably would have lost the game show on that bad. Archie. I don't know that I knew that it was Archie Andrews. But anyway, yes, everybody knows Archie, right? So how much more

Jughead? Do you see how they covered that? You got the NFL player to cover her side of the family and you got the redheaded to cover his side of the family. So you got the redhead, the comic book, Redhead covers the Royals. You got the jazz player

covering Megan's family and America and you got NFL player covering America. I like that. I'm sure that's exactly. what they were thinking to 100% of what they were thinking and this is the first anglo-american member of the royal family oh yeah yeah i mean i still want to see the kid and a little disappointed we didn't get to see the kid this this whole thing today was a show that wasn't really a show it was a

nothing show we didn't have the lion king moment and i mean we didn't even have when the guy said hey how about pulling the blanket down a little bit let's see the kid we still didn't get get that we just got like a little little half turn or something we didn't even I mean was the heat turned down in the St. George Hall the kid too cold well I mean I'm not sure what's going on with that but I don't like it but we got a couple of stories of Oprah uh what what is Oprah gonna give baby well I mean this is fantastic right I mean I've already sent my gift over did you did you yeah I said what did you get them I get it I get everybody the same gift oh the plunger Yeah.

Baby does not need a plunder yet. They might, though. They might. Yeah. I didn't know how many footmen they had, so I sent 10. Oh, they got more than 10 baby. 10 just sits in the back waiting for the other ones to finish. No, I say I give plungers to housewarming presence.

That's not a baby. Baby, you don't know. Anyways, Oprah will give the world baby. Oprah's worth what? 10 trillion dollars. Right. I mean, billions, right? She's an Oprah network.

What do you think? What would you think Oprah will give a baby? Because we all know that, you know, Tesla? A Tesla baby carriage? That's Elon Musk. That's Elon Musk gets that. I would like to see Tesla, Elon sent over a Tesla baby carriage.

That'd be cool. Just get one from, what is it, Gaco or a Graquel? No, I mean, just a special. Just one that you makes for them. You get one from there and then just slap a sticker from Tesla and just send it. Come on. You can sell them for it. Sell those things.

That's another way. Elon. You're one. welcome. You're welcome, my friend. If you have any more things that you need help with, call me. In fact, this is the second time I've asked you to be on my podcast. The first time I may have reminded you that we could just kind of hang out, you know, chat, talk about some stuff going on around the world, what's happening, you know, space, whatever.

whatever you wanted but now we can talk you know Tesla baby carries come on so what do you think Oprah's going to get him I still I love Oprah getting him the Tesla baby carriage

but you know be realistic Oprah can get him anything she was why can't she get him a Tesla baby carriage or she got him a lifetime of books from Oprah no but the books were from

Oprah I know about the Lifetime Books. Archie will get a library fit for Royal. The full already, I mean, she's having the library built. I guess. Or is Archie just another member of the Oprah Book Club? Yes.

Archie got the free upgrade membership to Oprah's book club? Isn't that special? And that special? Every month, little baby. When is the, does Oprah send out once a year, once a month? Once a month, I believe. Once a month, yeah. I mean, okay.

Does she need the latest book from Dr. Phil going to Archie? I don't know. Yes. I mean, I can see giving books to the kid. No problem. I see that absolutely 100%. Because, I mean, I told you my aunt, not a royal, by the way, was in charge of the state of Michigan library.

and we got books from the time I could remember from her every year, you know, from little kid books on up to, you know, teenage year books. And yes, in the early 1800s there were books. They were hard to come by by that time. Interesting. She gave birth at the London hospital. I thought they gave birth like at the castle.

No, they talked about giving birth, but they weren't going to make it like, like William and Kate hung out at the hospital for a couple days. But that's the future king. That's true. I want to make sure that the queen was okay. Yeah. A princess.

Whatever, she's going to be the queen. Doesn't work that way. Yeah, Game of Windsor. We're playing. By the way, we and you came up with a nice Game of Thrones scenario. We did. Off air. We did.

And I don't know that I can, I'd have to, I got to go back and write it all down and maybe we will do that someday. But it's definitely, it could definitely happen. No question. By the way, due to the Archie name that upset the bootmakers because Archie was 1001. So it was out of the list. 100 to 1. Anybody have it? I mean, do we know if anybody had Archie?

Yes, me. You must have done yours right after I did mine. Oh, you did it too? Yeah, before you. Right. And they, you know, so they screwed up the name betting, right? They screwed up the timelines. I mean, what are they doing?

It's time for them to get out. They need to get out of there right now. I like the picture of the queen and prince were there checking out the baby. And brother Williams sent the thing. I like, you know, welcoming his brother to the sleepless nights of, you know, parenthood or dadhood or whatever it was. Ha, ha, ha, ha, joking around with them. The same thing from William.

Bill, what's the last time? Seriously. Seriously. What is the last time you got up with the kids? I mean, maybe what, a day a week? You feel like you got to be a day, so maybe on Sundays you get up early and get them ready for church, which I doubt.

Oh, the church come to them? Like, why they're even leaving the house? By the way, our insider, our royal insider whisper, tells us that the queen is usually the first one to see the new baby. Yeah. Not this one. Ooh.

A giddy Megan reveal how they accidentally bump into the Duke, which is her husband, in the grounds of the castle while making their way to the photo call. Nice. So he got the peek. He got the look. All right. So he's out sneaking a drink.

And how old where he's not supposed to be at? Right. He's outside. He's got a bottle stashed in the bushes out there. So he can catch a drink in the way from the room. the queen is drunk he can't drive around anymore and uh in they come that's good that's just a surprise that's that's nice that's a cute little that's a funny little ha ha ha the queen won't think it's a funny little ha ha ha but the rest of us can so anyway the baby's here congratulations to uh

to harry henry i really am disappointed in the name and not be not like the others are The others are just, I like the name. I just wish it was Lord. And I wish it was Archibald instead of Archie. But then when you think to yourself, that would be Lord Archie, does seem a little, a little strange. We can't go in there. That's Lord Archie's room.

It doesn't really work. Doesn't really work. Congratulations, anyway. Harry and Megan for finally showing us your child. It's either been with us for two weeks or two days. By the way, are they still going to Africa after seeing the baby? Of course. What do you mean? Well, yeah, look, they're going, that's already, that's a done deal.

We can't repeat because CNN got in trouble before the question. This is stupid. We talked about the possibility of the child being more, Uh-huh. African-American than Anglo. We talked about that because it was a possibility. I mean, it's not like it's not like it's a secret that Megan is a half-baby,

half and half or whatever the heck they call it. I'm sorry, Megan is what? You know, half baby. Breaking news. I don't think no one knew that. Yeah, no, I don't know. I wasn't probably was supposed to say anything. I probably wasn't supposed to say anything.

So just disregard my half baby. Half baby. Yeah. Don't say it again. I wasn't supposed to let it out of the bag. So now the next thing about the baby is who will be the godparents? Oh gosh. So, I mean, it's got to be William and Kate, right?

But Megan won't. So another Windsor whisper tells us that it could be Megan's friend, Jessica Mulroney. Serena Williams or Amar Clooney. Oh, yeah, one of the Clooney's. Yeah, the Clooney's are a big one. Clooney's are a big one. You know who would be a huge get as godfather and godmother to this baby? Oprah.

And I think that they're better friends with William and Kate than they are with Harry and Megan, Barack and Michelle. That would be huge. That will totally put Barack Obama worldwide. Oh, my gosh. But is the queen going to allow that? Oh, it says that, that she's done. She's over with now.

I mean, Megan's already pushed that button way to the end. Right? I mean, Megan's going to do what Megan wants to do. Harry will push back a little. What about Megan, whatever Megan wants to? Right, he'll push back a little because grandma will call him over and say, Henry, no. Well, Grandma, that's what we do now. Sorry, we're done.

You're already shipping us to Africa. You're already shipping us out to Africa for, you know, the next 10 years or more just until you die. That's the only amount of time you want us away from here is just the amount of time you're still alive. So that's what I want now. I want Barack Obama and Michelle Obama, God, parents, to Archie, Harrison, Mountbatten, Windsor. Would they say yes? Would they say yes?

Because Oprah, you got to have, it doesn't have to be from the same family, though. You don't have to have husband and wife. No, it doesn't. To be godparents. By the way, American actor George Clooney, neighbors of Megan. Yeah, in their one house.

Yeah. So, I mean, they're friends. No question. And Clooney, Clooney should be a good get. It'd be a good get. And that, you know,

that's a good couple. And, you know, that would be a good get, no question. But Barack and Michelle would be a lot better. I mean,

even Clooney would tell you that. If you get the call, would you do it? I mean, you have to. You have to. It's an honor. Yeah.

Despite. Do you get anything from it? Yeah, you get the honor of being the godparent of this child. Yeah, but here's the thing. That's a special place. Hold on. Isn't when the godparents, like, if the parents die, aren't you in charge? Yeah, you're responsible.

Uh, yeah. What are the, never mind. If something happens, God forbid, you're in the castle. What are you talking about? You want that. that. Now, you don't want anything bad to happen, ever. What if it did? Excuse me, excuse me, Queen, I got to come in. No, no, no, no, no, no, you better open this damn door.

No, no, no. I'm the godfather of your great-grandson, Archie. Oh, and I'm here. Archie. Oh, no, Archie's your great-grandchild, you know, the son of your grandchild, Harry. Who? And Megan, I'm their godparent. Yeah, they're dead. They're dead.

Terrible what they happened. Terrible what happened to them. But I'm here to take care of them now. So if you want me to live in the... I look into the camera. I look into the camera. I'm right here. Can we just open the door?

No, no, no. But it's me. No. The godparent. We can just live. I'm just going to live in the cottage. No, no, no. No, no.

No, no. I won't be a bother. I won't be a bother. Why in the hallway? I would know. Well, I just wanted to let you know I was here. So I'll be here taking care of it. If you need something.

No, I'm... No, no. No, no. I'm not done. I just... I just was here to... No. No.

All right. So, uh, at an opportunity to... There's a... There's a... The person that works here. Here are the Blaze Network Studios. She doesn't get a gender?

She will get a gender in a moment. Okay. Sorry to interrupt you. I mean, you're watching Flinch again? Oh, we need to discuss that. I know. We'll talk about Flinch. So she, this person,

always, you know, coming across with, oh, did I tell you a joke? Can I tell you a joke? So I figured, you know, let's do, we'll try a new segment. Chewing the Fat. Joke of the day. Jokes.

Jokes by Jules. See? Even she gets a name now, Jules, right? So, welcome to Chewing the Fat. Thank you. Thank you for having me. You're welcome. She sounds sweet.

She's nice. So, it's going to be a daily segment, right? You ready to write jokes for me every day? I think so. Are you ready for it? Okay. Oh, I'm born ready. All right.

Don't you. Don't you worry about my readiness. So jokes by Jules, joke of the day. Go ahead. All righty. What kind of bees make milk? What kind of bees make milk? Oh, I don't know.

What kind of bees make milk? I'll tell you, Jeffie, it's boobies. Okay, so are these jokes? You know, I like it. I like it. Are these the one-liners that you're going to do? Are you going to do one-liner jokes or do we get explanation jokes? Yeah, I got to mix it up. Yeah?

So you got another one for today? Wait, one is another one? What? I can't stop laughing right now. I know. I'm laughing so hard. I know. I don't think I can handle another one.

Okay, well, take a deep breath. Just breathe. Breathe yourself, right? Because today's the opening day. Oh, okay. Jokes by Jules. Okay. And it is jokes, plural, by Jules.

Yeah, they only get better from here. So there you go. So go ahead. All right. Why do seagulls live by the sea? Why do seagulls live by the sea? I don't know. Why does seagulls live by the sea?

Well, Jeffie, I'll tell you it's because if they live by the bay, they'd be bagels. Wow, a great opening day. I joked by Jules, man. And listen, if your side is hurting as much as mine, I don't know what to tell you. Thank you. Absolutely.

I appreciate it. Thanks for having me on. a part of chewing the fat and jokes by jewels. I hope she's not getting paid. Sh! No. I mean, after, I can't. I can't stop laughing.

I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Let's go to the break room and get a drink. I need something to... It's funny. Funny. Headlines, as long as we're in the break room. Uber and Lyft drivers on strike. I don't know if you know this or not,

but if you've been shut down today, weren't able to get Uber or Lyft. Sorry. Good thing we order our Uber early. Right? Now, we weren't in New York, Los Angeles, London, or Glasgow. Who says, why are we not there? These are the big cities where the big shutdown was.

The New York one was, big deal. I mean, the New York one, that's just because the cab drivers want to shut them down, right? It is a good thing. We did order breakfast from Uber Eats, right? And they delivered them perfect. On time, brought us food, perfect. And I'd like to thank them for that. I'm glad they got us in before the shutdown.

Did you tip? Yeah. Oh. Big tipper? It's, man. I kind of like the Uber Eats plan. because if you're go to if if I go to the place let's say I go to

I'll pick something at random I hop oh that's what you had this one of this was just at random I don't think it was and you order and then you leave you have to go leave a tip because you're there you're looking at the waitress in person that you brought you the food and everything but at Uber Eats

that's just the deal well even on this building I don't even see the Uber Eats guy. Security texts me and says, hey, you foots here. So I don't even see him. So they don't even wait around for it. No, they just drop it off and go. Yeah. So I kind of a fan of that. I am a fan of that. That's a good way to go. So you tipped.

But of course. Of course. Duh. According to this story, airlines are going to need to consider removing overhead bins after passengers stopped to collect on board luggage amid the evacuation.

of the crashed of the crashed arrow flop plane um no no that's the first thing to tell you when the waitresses are doing the little show flight attendants yeah waitresses and they do the little show you just leave you don't grab your crap you just leave apparently some people did well he's an idiot he and she deserves what happened to them well they got the problem is is that if you stop Some of the people who were behind. Well, those were Edith. They did not push. Right.

And also, we don't actually know if that was the cause of them not being able to get out. The investigation will show that they, you know, people were pushing and they, you know, they could have got caught. And no, we don't need, don't look for the pilot. I don't want to make fun of the crash. No, don't make me make fun of the crash because I will. And I don't want, I don't want to make fun of the crash. But because I don't know if those people were already injured.

you know, at the moment of the crash, and then the people who got off the plane are just fortunate enough to be the ones to get off. Thank you for flying fish, your air. For those of you that are in the front of the plane that's not burning, don't grab your luggage and just get off the plane. Those of you in the back,

see, you can't make me, I can't do it. I don't want to, it's not. Those are you in the back. Friday Department should be here soon. I mean, 30 people, or whatever. We can't make fun of it. We can't. We just did. Move on.

We can't. We just did. Move on. And by the least, 40 people died. A Mongolian couple died of a bubonic plague. We talked about that the other day of the bubonic plague on the plane. The passengers on the flight, don't worry about it. You'll be fine. Yeah, thank you. Those of you flying out on fish your air,

don't continue yourself with the, with a couple of who has Bubani plague on the plane, you should be fine. I don't think you got it from them. They got it from heating raw marmot. Right. But they're fine. No, they didn't breathe on you on this airline. This is a recirculated air in this tube that we're all in.

Don't worry about it. So sure, they had Bubani plague. And sure, they died. Sure, don't. But you, you're fine. Don't, don't you worry about it. one little bit. You'll be fine. You might as well leave that on.

We have another airline. Thank you for flying fishery air, actually, Qantas. Those of your eating on this flight will realize that we've used biodegradable cutlery packaging made from sugar cane and clasp starch to help with our zero garbage flight. For those of you that ain't decuturally, the cutlery, the packaging, and are now barfing all over. the plane. Yes. No, that didn't happen. That was just it actually happened.

It could have. Canned water is now on the market. Canned water. Now apparently there are some still companies that have canned water on the market. But this particular canned water is called liquid

death. Whoa. Liquid death. And it markets itself to the people who are into, you know, heavy metal and punk. and water. All right. Liquid death.

Now, it says that, uh, look, their, their marketing campaign is death is right there in the brand name. The marketing campaign will be murder your thirst. I like it. It has a melting skull on the front. It doesn't have a mailing list. It has an email cult. There's no lame contact us button on the website.

The button says, summon us. and I mean, we're It should be in cans, right? Have you had? Have you had it? No, if we hate plastic now, if we're supposed to hate plastic.

It's got to be canned water then, right? I had canned water in Afghanistan. Yeah. It's water. It's water in a can. But I was wondering because he goes, so I don't know where they're getting to for them.

You see that soda. Oh, yeah, because you know the carbonation. Yeah, so I don't know why the, or some of them, The other ones where you could just peel. Yeah, the peel. I can see the peel. Yeah.

But when it... That's got carbonation in it then. So that's not just canned water. That's not canned water. That's soda water. Yeah. Yeah. But it doesn't taste like soda water.

It just tastes like water. I would not drink that. Absolutely. I only drink it once because it was kind of cool. I have a question that. You know what? No, thanks. I have the bubonic plague, right?

That's how you got the bubonic plague? No, I'm fine. Before I drop over with the plague, let me tell you to subscribe to chewing the fat with yours truly Jeff Fisher. Okay, make sure you subscribe. You did have a heart attack, so we don't know what's going to happen.

I had a heart event. I don't like calling it. A heart attack. Yeah, that's a hard event. Yeah, so we already lost you. We almost lost you, so we could lose you. I don't know what the bombing the quag. I just had a check up. How was it?

I just had a check up. I'm fine. Things are looking at. And by the way, you told me a little story earlier. Don't be joking around with the doctor. And that's not a doctor you want to joke. I joke around with all my doctors. And I know you do.

And I say that like, I've got thousands of doctors. You do. You're a hundred and what? I have many doctors. And I, and I, and I, I'm me to my doctors. You, Jeffie. However, because a couple of them are, they, all they want to do is talk about, you know, world events and what's going on in the world. And, you know, talk about the podcast.

They talk about the show. They talk about the blaze. You know, can we, hey. What do you think? Bring us up. What do you think? Maybe we talk about me a little bit, why I'm paying you to be here.

But the heart doc that I have, I haven't joked around with him at all. He's a pretty serious guy. And the last time, this last week when I went for the checkup, I broke into a little bit of joking around. You don't do that. He did not go for that.

That's what I'm telling you. Hard doctors are shared doctors. Those are like the serious. He did not go for the... If you give the wrong joke, he'll pull whatever he put inside your heart and... Dead. Done. Done.

But it's got a being... He's a doc, right? He's a human being. He's got a joke around. Now when you're freaking a heart doctor. Why not? Because you're a heart doctor. Whatever.

Lighten up a little bit, Francis. That's what you said to him, didn't you? You said that to him while he was reading your shirt. Lying up, Francis. did not like that at all, did he? I'm just reading here. Just reading here. Yeah, Francis, look at me.

Just reading here. Let me put my hand down where I put that thing in you. I'm going to pull it out right now. You don't need it anymore. Oh, darn, he died. Is that a problem? Yeah, it's, I guess, kind of disappointing to me, though, because I like to joke around with him.

And I'm at the point now where, you know, I don't believe I've ever gotten a clean bill of health in my life, but I actually have, you know, things are looking up. You know, I've lost a little weight. I'm feeling good. You know, the medication is working. Everything's fine. So, you know, I'm not smoking,

which I really today is a bad day for that. Yeah, by the way, audience, I saw this guy trying to smoke a stupid Sharpie. Today is a bad day. He was holding that Sharpie. Oh, he's doing it out right now. If you look at the camera. It's been five months.

Good, Jeff. Five months. So good. Since I've had a cigarette. So pretty. More than five months. And today is a day that I could really, really smoke a cigarette.

I mean, it was not a cigarette. It's not a cigarette. I need a lighter and a fresh pack of cigarettes. This is what Pat hates you because you're taking his sharpie and putting in your mouth. Fresh pack of cigarettes. Don't put it back where he puts his Sharpie. He'll never know. You're right.

He'll never know, but like, dude. I'm going to see him using it on Friday when I'm here on the show. Everybody looks at him. Like, you just put that in your. So, don't say anything to him. Why are you getting at the camera? Don't say anything to them because I want the people to know that are watching this podcast.

Don't say anything to them. Now, speaking of that, do we have time? I know, I want to be able to explain it and I know that we've yapped on quite a bit today. We have time. Let me look for it. All right, so I want to talk a little bit about subscribing to this podcast. And please subscribe.

I need your subscriptions. And you need to share it with your friends, share it with your enemies, share it with anyone. I don't care. Tell them, hey, subscribe to this. Think of you. It's really good. Have a great day. By the way, next week, I haven't told you this, but I'll tell them.

Next week, we have a contest of subscription. We're going to give you some guidelines. You have to prove to us that you shared with your friends and you could win a chew-and-the-fat mug. Oh, nice. But I'm trying to work out the rules because when it's a contest, work out the rules. I sure it's fair, but it's going to come out and it's on you, and you have to prove to us that you're actually sharing it more to come Monday. That's great.

I'm smoking my cigarette now. Yeah, I can see that. By the way, that's pretty good, though. For someone hasn't smoking six months, five months, you still got it. Oh, you never lose that. It's not like riding a bike? Yeah, oh, man, you never lose that. All right.

So I find myself, recording this podcast and just between us there's only one way that you're able to view it. All right, you got to go through some steps. You do, you do. A lot of these shows, if you just go to the blaze.com slash TV, you'll find out the link, there it is.

That's not this one. This is special. So we had a question. Yeah, we did. We had a question from a listener. She sent it from her iPad, which I don't know why it tells me that. Chris, where do you go get a video of you and Jeffie doing you in the fact?

Jeffie is always saying you can see things on the camera. Is he joking around? Please let me know. Thanks. We'll call this person D. D, first, thank you for listening. Absolutely. Thank you.

Thank you for being on board. And I appreciate it very much. And, you know, share with your friends and make sure all your devices are subscribed to this podcast as well. but obviously she's got an iPad so make sure that you reboot that and I don't know if it's a new if it's an older model you might not be able to see it no no it has to be a 10.1 model and up

so if you have that then reboot it and you're gonna need to reboot the Wi-Fi at your house yes you do you do and you have to make sure that you're up to date on the software and the iOS software I don't know what Andrew calls their software just software yeah okay so if you If you're running an Apple product, make sure you're an iOS is up to date,

and you're running a 10.1 or higher. If you're an Android, any specification on an Android? Just reboot it. Just reboot it. Okay. Make sure you have the latest app. But that's very user-friendly.

That's very user-friendly. Yes. And then, and then you go, and then if you are using, let's say, iTunes podcast, you have to make sure that is updated. Yes.

I mean, everything has to be... Everything has to be updated. 100%. So after you reboot your... Internet. You might as well reboot your television. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. All of it is clear. So you're right now at the step of rebooting your Wi-Fi. So the Wi-Fi just reboot it. You know where the Wi-Fi is at your house, right? Where the Wi-Fi is. And if you don't know where it is, call your provider and they'll tell you where it is. You should, though.

You've watched it. You let them in your house. What are you doing? True. Or they just broke in. Some people might have just broke in. It does. But amazingly, they broke into my house.

And yet I still know where the Wi-Fi. Oh. You know where the Internet connection is in my house. Yeah. Yeah, they made me. They just said, look, we're breaking in and we're not, but this is where we're putting this. This is where they're putting the box. All right, Jeffie, so we're at the rebooting everything, okay?

So, now, it's still, I know, look, I know it's frustrating because I got nothing. I'm just trying to help you out here because it's, you know, it isn't as easy as going to the blaze.com slash TV and subscribing. Or blazhthstv.com. Yeah. What did I say? Theblades.com slash TV. Right.

But it's blazstiv. It's okay, though. We're not there yet. But it's still, you can still go to the blaze.com slash TV. Or you could go to blazTV.com. You know, it's just to make it much simpler. But we're not there. You said that.

You're right. We're not on the blazcTV.com. It pissing me off with that. We're going to get into a fight with that right now. I apologize, though. Okay. I realize that it's the blazedtv.com now. It's not the blazed.

It's not the blazed. com, though. Oh, my God. I'm going to throw something at you right now. It's baysTV. That com. Like I know it's very difficult. BlazedTV.

Like I said, The blaze.com slash TV. Okay, that's fine. They could do that. But if you do BlaseTV.com, it's much simpler. Come on. These people are literally, you have, I know this listener right now that this podcast is in front of their Wi-Fi waiting.

Okay, well, everything is rebooted and you're good to go. You got all news. And then, you know, I'm going to have to finish this up tomorrow.