Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - How to survive a Zombie Apocalypse and 'Nude Dude' update 3/28/15

Episode Date: March 28, 2015

Today on The Jeff Fisher Show, Jeffy explains 'How to Kill a Zombie' & reminds you to tune in to 'The Walking Talking Dead' podcast Monday afternoons on The Blaze Radio Network. Jeffy also gives an update on the North Carolina man who enjoys chatting on his cell phone in the buff at his front door. Plus, great job tips and cool new tech gadgets! All that & more on The Jeff Fisher Show!Jeff Fisher is live from 6am to 8am ET, Saturday. Listen for free on The Blaze Radio Network: www.theblaze.com/radioFollow Jeff at twitter.com/JeffyMRA Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Life signs stable. It's alive. Set it loose. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. Polarizing. Calculating, disingenuous, insincere, ambitious, inevitable, entitled, overconfident, secretive, we'll do anything to win, out of touch. Words according to the HRC Super Volunteers Pack for Hillary Clinton, you're not

supposed to use when discussing the almighty all-seeing Sue saying Hillary Clinton. Huh. Amazing. Polarizing? I think we know what that is, right? Calculating. Scheming ruthlessly. Dysingenuous.

Not candid or sincere. That doesn't sound like Hillary at all. Not expressing genuine feelings. Insincere. Hmm. That can't be her. Ambitious. No.

Pushing her husband to governor and White House and becoming a senator, Secretary of State, and considering running for president of the United States. That's not ambition. Inevitable. Certain to happen. Unavoidable. I hope not. Entitled.

She most definitely is that. Or she, I should say, feels that she is. Overconfident Maybe a little Secretive No She's not secretive She just had that whole

Separate server thing Set up in her basement For private emails and friends That's it though Don't worry about it We'll do anything to win Does that her? I think so

represents the past. Old? She's getting there. Out of touch. No. She's just out hawking money around the world for the Clinton Foundation and trying to keep the world to make the world a better place. Now, I guess we could say, you know, removed from reality. Maybe a little.

No. Now what they want, really, is that's a double standard. And they just don't want to use these words to describe the great Hillary Clinton. Be nice. And the whole calculating, I love the one story from the Washington Post, talked about if you Google Hillary Clinton and calculating. There are 140,000 results from The Daily Caller, The Blaze, Bright Bar at the Daily Telegraph. So I'm guessing that a few people. Think she's calculating.

That's it, though. I mean, there's only a few. Now, I guess we could stick to what you want to call her. Like, just stick to. It doesn't say in the story what we should call her. It doesn't mention the word manipulating, controlling, grandma. Now, I'm sure that they want you to use words that, you know, best ever. exquisite, meritable, solid, superior, valuable,

valuable, worthy, accurate, exact, precise. Now, if you go back to words that we may use, or that I should say me, not we, I don't want to lump you into this pile, awful, desperate. extreme, loud. How about terrible, awful? Nope. Not that. Don't use the... Anyway. And I'm sure that she most definitely doesn't want to use what I call her.

It's out of love. It's out of love for me. Kankles. So remember when discussing Hillary Clinton, if and when she decides to run for President of the United States, and you're discussing her around your dining room table, don't use polarizing, calculating, disingenuous, insincere, ambitious, inevitable, entitled, overconfidence, secretive, will do anything to win, represents the past, out of touch. Do not. Do not.

Whatever you do, use those words. when describing the all-knowing, the all-seeing, sooth saying, Hillary, Rodham Clinton. Welcome. Hey, what's going on? I have got so much stuff today, and I just got lost in the whole words of describing Hillary late last night. But I wanted to congratulate the actress,

Teraji P. Henson. Taraji, I'm going to say her name correctly. It keeps throwing me. T. A. R. A. J.I. P. Henson. Taraji. P. Henson. Now, she went off. She's an actress, and if you used to look on her face, I'll tweet the picture at Jeff E. M.R.A.

The story from the Blaze. But she apologized to the Glendale Police Department in California because she went off on them in a story saying that she didn't want to, she didn't feel comfortable sending her son to the University of Southern California, alleging that an officer in Glendale had racially profiled him illegally searched his vehicle. And the Glendale Police Department, they were like, to Raja. Yeah, no? Here's the video of what happened.

And the video is amazing. The police officer could not have been nicer. I hope and wish that I had police officers that nice. Pulled them over for driving through a flashing crosswalk as a person crossed. So the officer pulls them over. The son admits he has marijuana. and riddlin in the vehicle. Okay?

He's got marijuana and riddlin in the vehicle. The officer cites him for the marijuana and takes the marijuana. So I'm going to cite you for the marijuana and I'm going to take it. But I'm not going to cite you, if you have the riddlin in the car and you're not supposed to have it, don't take it. And I'm not going to cite you for the moving violation. I'm going to let you off with a warning because that's a more serious offense. than the marijuana. I'm sure you can get out,

you know, you can pay the fine and you're good to go with the marijuana charge. But if I cite you for the moving violation, then, you know, you're going to have to go to all these classes and everything was going to be there. So here you go. Uh, I wouldn't do that.

I don't want that for you. Oh my gosh. Amazing. So she says I wouldn't want him to go there. Her son was, you know, possibly racially profiled. And the police said, No. Here's the video. So, she wrote on her Instagram, and I'm sure the story is everywhere now, so she'll be asked about it again and again.

But she said, I would like to publicly apologize to the officer and the Glendale Police Department. A mother's job is not easy, and neither is a police officer's. Sometimes as humans, we overreact without gathering all the facts. as a mother in this case, I overreacted, and for that, I apologize. Thank you to that officer for being kind to my son. Wow. Taraji. Now, that is fantastic.

Fantastic. And I don't want to make light of it, because it is fantastic. It was nice if you'd finally come around and realize that, hey, we screwed up, and I'm sorry. But next time, let's not go directly. to the race guard. This is the Jeff Fisher show on the Blaze Radio Network. Are you looking to save 50, 60,

even 70% on your phone bill? Well, here's a tip, Broadvoice.com. Hi, it's Bradstags of Blaze TV here. Broad Voice offers high-quality phone service for only $8.95 a month. You may ask, how can I save so much money? What's the catch? Well, the secret is the technology. Broad Voice uses VoIP technology

that takes analog audio signals from your phone, turns them into digital data and then transfers them over the internet. This means crystal clear sound and cheaper phone bills. Broad Voice has been ranked in the Deloitte Technology Fast 500 and Inc. 500 as one of the fastest growing private companies in America. Get Broad Voice right now for only 895 a month. Keep your existing phone number for free and Broad Voice will send you their easy plug-in adapter free.

All this and you get unlimited local calling for just 895 a month. Plus for a limited time, Broad Voice will even give you your first month free. Do what we did here at Blaze Radio. Make the switch today at Broadvoice.com or call 888-332-8036. 888-332-80-36. The Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. Welcome to it. How are you?

How are you been? Not sure why I called. I guess I just really wanted to talk to you. The guy I get that, sorry. A little England Dan and John Ford Coley for you. Classic. But I can't get the stupid song out of my head. So when you follow me on Twitter today and I post that song, you can join me in singing it and keeping it in your head for the rest of your day.

You're welcome. Welcome to the Blaze Radio Network. 888-9033 is the phone number. 1-88-9-0-33-33-3-93 is the phone number. No place for you else to be. No place else for you to be than right here. if I could speak properly, the Blaze Radio Network. Plenty of programming, live just for you today.

Michael Pelka, Pure O'Pelka coming up right after this broadcast. Then we give you a little Glenn Beck weekend, rewind to what happened during the week. Big stuff happened during the week. If you're not aware, listen in, you'll find out. We had a big interview on Blaze TV and covered it quite intently on radio with Grover Norquist. and it's fascinating to say the least. And then Chris Salsato, Mike Slater, Joe Pags, all live on the Blaze Radio Network. Boy, man, Coke Zero.

I love it. However, Coke Zero is number 10 in the top 10 of sodas in America. Coca-Cola is still number. number one. However, Pepsi, Pepsi just passed Diet Coke for number two. Coming in at number two, Pepsi Cola. Passing Diet Coke. So you got Coke Pepsi, Diet Coke, Mountain Dew, Dr. Pepper, Sprite, Diet Pepsi, Fanta, Diet Mountain Dew, Coke Zero.

Top 10 sodas in the U.S. Now, these rankings are according to beverage digest, and seriously, who doesn't get that in the mailbox every week? Fascinating reading. Now, according to beverage digest,

low-calorie soft drinks dropped. Dropped by 20% in the past five years. People aren't drinking it. They've drinking less soda overall, but the diet drinks, hard because of mistrust of artificial sweeteners which

I think a lot of that is maybe a little made up. Oh yeah. However, you can't change the attitudes. You can give people the facts, but they hear something you know, you hear something from people who tell you things even if there are lies and you believe

it, Barack Obama. So for that reason, Minnesota companies have been experiencing, you know, low-calorie drinks, non-sugar, Sweeteners, Stevia, they're all doing their Pepsi True. Coke life. So congratulations to Pepsi. However, I'm sticking with number 10.

Ice cold. Coke zero. Very good. Now, I'd like to say a few things. Remember when we all went crazy over Brian Williams and his misremembering? And everybody, I mean, Brian Williams is done, right? Nobody's talking about him. He's gone.

I get the story. I guess the story is over. If he went away for six months, I doubt he's coming back. He may still secretly think he's coming back, but you're not, Brian. You're done, babe. Write a book. How to Misremember Things. Write a book, The Real Story, the Truth.

Brian Williams, the real story. And then I would maybe add on a little paper book in the back, the misremembered stories. So you have the truth. And then what you actually said for years, something like that, Brian. You might sell a few. You might sell a few. But I doubt you're coming back to the news, babe. Okay?

Because I know it's gone away now. but when people say misremembering, who do they think of? You. Okay? So, stay home. You're good. Just start the book right now. Listen, play with your kids.

Get up in the morning, make them breakfast, run around, do a little playing with the kids, get them off to school or send them upstairs to be homeschooled, and then they probably go to school. You've been paying top dollar for that private school. You might want to consider pulling them. I'm out if you're a little short on cash these days. And then go ahead and write your book. You just hang out, write your book.

Relax. It's okay. I'm sure you still got a little money in the bank, but take it easy. That money blows through fast. Believe me, it blows through fast. Chelsea Handler, did an interesting. interview. And she claims that she was almost Cosby.

They should run her off. Now, if she's trying, I don't know, I can't, since I didn't hear, I don't know if she's trying to be funny because she has a tough time being funny and she tries to be funny a lot. I know a lot of people like her little stories and her little show and her little Netflix and why did she get the late show? She was going to be on TV. Uh-huh.

Okay. But she says, oh my gosh, you know, a decade ago, a close call happened to me in Atlantic City Hotel. Cosby tried to arrange a meeting in his room. Someone in the hotel came down and said, oh, you know, Mr. Cosby would really like to meet you in his hotel suite. And I thought, that's really weird. You thought that's really weird.

Bill Cosby, who you, by the way, in the story at the very end it throws in, Bill and Chelsea were performing at the hotel together. So Bill Cosby, the Bill Cosby says, I want to meet Chelsea. What's you going to do, hang out in the lobby and drink tea until you walk by? No. It's going to tell you, come up to the suite. Bill's not going to wander around. And fortunately, I had the foresight to bring along the film crew that was working with me.

And we went there and thank God because now I know what would have happened. Do you? Do you? So she said, I didn't even remember. I didn't even remember that took place except that one of the guys in the camera crew text me after these stories about Bill came out and said, Wow, that could have been you, remember? Oh, yeah.

That could have been me. Okay, well, let's see. First of all, it makes me want to believe Bill more than ever. And when you say believe Bill, he hasn't even admitted to anything, right? He's still performing. Story's gone away. I get that people are saying that it happened, but is there any charges? Any cases?

He's going to court, any filings, nothing, right? So, sad thing is, though, new phrase, Ben Cosbyde, everyone knows what it is. The Jeff Fisher Show, the Blaze Radio Network. Is the Jeff Fisher Show. Welcome to it. 888-9033 is the phone number. This is, as the announcer just said,

The Blaze Radio Network and the Jeff Fisher Show. Michael Palca, Pure O'Pelke, coming up right after this broadcast. I'm not sure what Mike's giving away this today for listening to his broadcast. I hope it's, you know, maybe, I don't know, self-stamped post-it notes or something. Oh, my gosh. There you go, Mike. It's an idea for you. Stamp your little picture on a post-it note so people see you every time they rip the

post-it note off. Oh, my gosh. Sadly, he was probably going to do that. All right, so last week, last week I told you a little bit about a Charlotte man who is people in the neighborhood is all wound up at him because he was standing, he walks around his house naked, right? And he's been in trouble. People are upset and people, you know, the one mother said her daughter every time, I'm going to go out is what's his face naked in the door again. No, okay, I can go. So, you know, you know he's there.

and he's been there for forever, right? Jared Leaper. Okay? Now, there's an update to the story that happened this week. This from WBTV

on your side. The president of the HOA says there's peace in the community tonight because there's finally a plan in place to deal with the nude neighbor. Any more episodes of nudity going forward. Police say there will be arrests and criminal prosecution will follow.

But the neighbor Gerard Leeper says his privacy has been violated and his feelings hurt. They said, know me. Because I got nothing but love inside of me. For anybody. Gerard Leeper says he is not a threat to the Cardinal Glenn neighborhood. But the people

who live on those stage circles say they've had enough of him and his alleged tendencies to stand at his door or by windows nude. Why stand at the door naked? We have to practice serenity in this world. And that's what the world wants, everyone to understand serenity, rationalism, being reasonable.

Lieber says from his point of view, neighbors have been on a witch hunt, taking pictures of him while he's inside his house. I would not stand outside my door naked, and no one has a picture of me standing outside my door naked. What they have is a picture with intrusion of seclusion. Neighbors say what they see is a man with no regard for communities. or decency. Residents say

when they reported Leeper to officers in the past, not much was done because he was on his property. Fed up, they held a closed meeting with police. Leaper went to the meeting to hear what the neighborhood planned to do. Criminal prosecution is one of those avenues.

Tetraud Golding says that Leeper intentionally displays himself again, so a neighbor in a public place can see him, he will be arrested. But first, the community wants Leeper to get counseling. The neighbor Oh, yeah, no. Is that calm as for right now?

With the weather warming up and neighbors about to spend more time outside, a frustrated Cardinal Glenn community was desperate to solve the new neighbor problem. To see if you're naked inside your house. He went home from the meeting alone, but didn't stay home. He's a man convinced a wrong was done to him. The picture is not on the front porch. It's inside my home. In Charlotte, Colleen Harry, WBTV on your side.

Okay. Now, I'll give you that Gerard Butler may have other issues going on. Okay? I got that. But that intrusion of seclusion is an issue. House, man's, kingdom, king of castle, that kind of thing. you should be able to walk around your house naked. Do I want Gerard in my neighborhood?

You know, probably not. But if he was there and he's in his, you know, if he comes out of the house, then you got an issue. He's in his house. Yeah. That's, you know, that's the naked guy's house. Don't look when you walk by.

I just, I don't, it doesn't make any sense. And now, now they're telling him, you've got to seek counseling. Yeah, no. How about this? How about, you don't look at my house. How about that? How about if I come out of my house and I'm naked, then the police can do something.

How about that? But if I'm in my house, how about I'm fine? Okay. Now, of course, the news gives you the report. There's one report that says he was arrested eight times by the police. for indecent exposure. Sure. He was arrested eight times because they arrested him

and then they realized, oh, wait, he's in his house. We can't do that. But we made the neighbors feel good because we arrested him. I'll get out of here, Gerard. But there were a couple other charges. At least the TV station gave you the real charges.

Gerard Leeper has been charged with indecent exposure several times before and convicted once in 2006. He was also convicted of assault on a female. in 1998. Okay. So, some kind of fight, and they convicted him once on indecent exposure. All the other times, no.

I get it. Most people, you know, you don't want that in your neighborhood. I got it. I got it. But, while the intrusion of seclusion may not quite be the right line, I like it. I like it. The intrusion of seclusion.

And Gerard, no, seriously, unless they, you know, you've got some kind of law, which I doubt in the homeowners association, otherwise they would have used it already. Tell them no on the counseling unless the Homeowner Association is going to be footing the bill for that. and the police notice he said possible. Yeah, they're just going to rest, make the people feel good because I'm in my house. Now, the comments of this story are fascinating. They really do go both ways. One, of course, talks about actually making him disappear. I live in Charlotte, and I can sure you, if you lived in my neighborhood, he would have most likely gone missing years ago.

Oh, really? Yeah, somebody in our neighborhood. We don't like. We kill them. We make them go away. A few neighbors used to make up some signs that read cover up, dude. I'm okay with that. Why not?

I think he should have had a sign, too. Quit looking at my house, peeping Tom's. Now, this guy's been arrested eight times for a decent exposure. He's got some serious mental problems. The public has a right to walk down the street and not see his genitalia. He's right there within clear view of anybody passing by. He needs to be constrained by the law. Yeah.

Coming down the street, the public street, on his private property inside his private home. One comment. Talk about a victimless non-crime. What the hell is wrong with people who are objecting to this? I'd rather have a nude neighbor than a neighbor with a neighbor with a leaf. or a neighbor with blaring music or a neighbor with barking dogs or a neighbor blowing tobacco or marijuana smoke onto my property. Why are people looking in his house anyway?

Shouldn't they be cited as peeping Tom's? In Oregon there was a guy who mowed the lawn nude. It wasn't illegal. Okay. That's Oregon. And nobody wants to see the guy mowing lawn naked. Whether riding lawnmower, pushing lawnmower, whatever. And I seriously, I'm okay with, I know, you know, what's the difference between it's on my property?

Really, a lot of that property from the center of the street, and I forget different residences, different municipalities have different footage. But from the middle of the street, into your yard is the Kingsland. Okay, you still have to keep it up. You still take care of that little strip of grass between the sidewalk and the road. and then you take care of the grass between the sidewalk and the house, but a lot of that grass between the sidewalk and the house really belongs to the king. So when the king, oh, I'm sorry, did I say king? I met with the municipalities, cities, counties come by and say,

we're going to widen the road. And you, we're going to knock this back a little bit toward your house. And you could say, what, that's my yard? And they'll say, yeah, no. No, it's not. But if you're inside your home, windows open, you should be able to walk around naked. And I'll bet you, I'd like to see what kind of a huge issue it would be if it was a hot girl standing at the front door talking on the phone. I'm sure every husband in the neighborhood would be going, hey, isn't it time to take a walk on it?

This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. The Jeff Fisher Show. 888-90333 is the phone number of the very Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. Mark and Maryland, you are on the broadcast. How are you, sir? Oh, right. Shouldn't complain. What if they end up with a 600-pound man in a Speedo?

They like the sunbatheath. Exactly. Or, I mean, you do see a lot worse, perhaps wandering around Walmart, even with clothes on. Oh, yes. And on the beaches. Now, I will say, you know, what problem would you have in your neighborhood with someone standing at their door or walking around their house naked? Do you tell your kids don't look? Do you just think that's Mr. Weirdo?

Away from the big city. And to where, you know, you have the freedom to do what you want. You can go out there with a leaf blower wearing your speedo, you know, being of excessive girth like myself. I appreciate you putting that in my head, Mark. Thank you so much. Have a nice day. I appreciate you. Now I'm going to be thinking about a fat naked man with a leaf blower in the yard.

Got to be a good look for somebody, though, right? Has to be. All right, so, you know, we'll move on from the naked guys. I just drives me crazy. So, I see a post talking about working in the movie industry. And I think, wow, I read this guy's post. And I think that's good advice for anyone who wants to have a job and keep a job. And I'm out of work my entire life.

You know, a lot of jobs. Can't keep a job, as a matter of fact. But this man says, make sure. still amazed at the clueless production assistants that managed to get hired on video and film productions. No matter how low you are in the food chain, you're there for a reason and people are watching, so make sure your first day isn't your last day. Now, here are the 10 things he is telling you to do on the video or film shoot. However, put these intact for any job, and you'll keep that job for a while.

Number one, show up early. You're the new kid. Nobody's going to wait for you. show up on time or don't show up at all. Even if it leaves, even if it means you leave two hours early in case of traffic. Oh, you mean find out a way to get to work on time? Huh.

Or early? Huh. If the producer client, the assistant, or anyone else is carrying more equipment than you, you're doing it wrong. Bring a raincoat, flashlight, protein bars, cab fare, mobile phone charger, and anything else you can think of.

Because Murphy's law is real. Number four, Make things happen. Nobody wants to hear it can't be done. They've all made the impossible happen before, and they wouldn't have survived this long in the film business. They're not interested in hearing about your problems. They're interested in solutions.

Bring a note, pad, and pen. Someone's going to give you orders. Write it down. Your job is to help make the movie. You can't get distracted by taking selfies of you next to the cool camera, riding the craft service table, or chatting up to cute makeup artist. Be a problem solver.

don't wait to be told, find what needs to be done, and do it. If you have to be told more than twice, they'll find somebody else. It's not about you. Don't be the first in line at lunch. Give up your seat for a client. Don't take the closet, the closest parking space. We all know you're a genius and should actually be directing the movie, but right now, you need to pay your dues.

Number nine. Remember, they may not remember what you did right, but they'll sure as heck remember what you did wrong. and be the last person to leave is number 10. If the director has to carry a trash bag to the dumpster at the end of the day, you'll never work in the business again. This was from Phil Cook's website. And 10 things to remember on your first day of a film shoot.

There's some other fascinating stories on Phil's website. You can check it out. I'll put out a link to this list. But this is a good list to give any of your children. children, any of your relatives. If you have a relative laying on the couch right now that you let move in a year ago that said, hey, I'm going to be out looking for a job, but I can't find anything, or I had that job, but they didn't like me.

Just hand them this list and say, you know, there's some good reading here. You might want to get off the sofa and take care of the list. So much more to come on the broadcast. Thanks for being here. 8-8-90-3-33 is the phone number. It's some really cool tech stuff next hour, too. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. Only on the Blaze Radio Network.

The experiment was a success. Begin Life Force reboot program now. Stand clear. Signs stable. It's alive. Set it loose. This is the Jeff F. Show on the Blaze Radio Network.

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All right, so I'm thinking about, I was thinking about, you know, the job tips that we talked about earlier. and did you know that I could advertising for brothel testers I think I could be a brothel tester perhaps I even was one and wasn't being paid for it now I'm a little mad a brothel is advertising quality control testers

check the standards of their services why why was I not paid for doing this oh see now this one in Berlin. I'm okay with Germany for a little while. Go there, work a little, make a little cash. Come on home.

According to the advertisement, the job is an international company with more than 120 workers, Germany, China, Spain. Now, now you're doing some traveling. You check out brothels all over the world? Nice. Practical experience with many years of brothel visits necessary. Why am I not hired for this job? his job even advertised.

They should have just called me. Call me. You know the number? You can tweet me. If you forgot the number, you lost it, you got a new phone. The phone fell in the water. You had to get a new phone. No updates.

You couldn't transfer anything. The card got lost. Okay. I understand that. So just tweet me. At Jeff E.M.R.A. I'll see it. And we'll talk.

That's a good gig. Brothel tester? Come on. Getting paid to go to brothels? Instead of actually paying to go to brothels? Okay. This weekend is a good weekend and a bad weekend. Well, Jeff, what's so good about this weekend?

Well, we have Earth Hour tonight. Yay! 8.30 local time. You can celebrate Earth Hour. Turn those lights off. 8.30 to 9.30, local time. Celebrate Earth Hour. Yes, Earth Hour sweeps across 24-time zones,

six continents on the 28th of March. Oh, my gosh, that's today. Be the first to see Earth Hour celebrations from New York to Nairobi, Paris to Panama. So, now you can celebrate with the people at earthhour.org. Or you can celebrate with us here at the Blaze Radio Network and turn every light out in your house. Go start your cars.

Put some firewood in the fireplace and get that burning. Turn the gas stove on. Turn the electric stove on. that the hell turn the showers on and just let them run burn them for an hour that's a good thing it's going out this weekend the bad thing Sunday is the walking dead finale the season finale we'll probably have to wait until I don't know another hundred years for the new season

it will seem like a hundred years but we have the finale 90 minutes, two hours, whatever it is. It won't be long enough. Sunday. Better be good. This season has been really good. And, of course, if you followed along on the podcast with myself and Aaron Hernandez,

no, not that Aaron Hernandez. He'll be in prison for quite a while after the wife's testimony yesterday. That's the other Aaron Hernandez. But I'm talking about our Aaron Hernandez here at the Blanche. Radio Network, who joins me on the podcast every Monday afternoon for talking walking dead. He's the expert. I just stumble along through the show. But I got me to thinking there's all kinds of little things that people do.

I wonder if we're ready for a zombie apocalypse. Now, there is a scientific model for what a zombie apocalypse would actually look like. and they have it all spread out as Cornell University and a couple other universities all put it together and where's the worst. And I think you can guess, really, right? I mean, there's some pocket points that are really bad. East Coast, northeast coast, middle of the country, Chicago area. And then, you know, the big cities, really bad.

Now, then it starts spreading out. Now, they do their plan. When you see day one of the breakout, day two, one week, two weeks, three weeks, four weeks, two months. There's not very many places that you can go. You're going to be struck by it. And just like on the Walking Dead television show, everyone gets touched by it. It's just a matter of whether you're surviving or not. And we've seen on the Walking Dead how difficult it is to survive.

Now, Cornell, Cornell University created a video of how to survive a zombie attack. Now, I would say that you could probably watch the Walking Dead and learn how to survive a zombie attack. However, for those of you that think I can't, I don't think I could do that. Let's see if the Cornell video will help you survive an actual zombie attack. What exactly is a zombie? In technical terms, a zombie is any human or zoological being that has passed into death beyond the hope of recovery and then is later resurrected by condemned religious practices or other unnatural methods. There are ways to tell if a being is or is not, in fact, a zombie.

You can see here in this example, this zombie has sunken in eyelids. You can also tell me because of his blood-stained lips and clothes. Activities zombies enjoy are just usually walking around. Activities they do not enjoy are playing basketball. No, okay, they don't enjoy that. Riding a bicycle. Oh, yeah, you never see a zombie riding a bike. That's pretty good.

And reading the daily print. Yeah. If you spot a zombie doing any of these, they're probably not a zombie at all. Now that you know how to identify a zombie, let's find out how to hide from them. That's good advice, except that I'm guessing during the zombie attack, there probably isn't any print newspapers to read? Just a thought on my part. Okay. So how do we...

Is there a way for us to get shelter? Shelter is one of the most important resources that you can have if there were to be a zombie attack. First of all, a trash can is not good shelter. Oh, what? I can't hide in a trash can. If you were to hide in a trash can, it is almost guaranteed that you will be found and even alive. I knew it. It's bad.

Bad. It would also be stupid. On the other hand, abandoned houses. like these make great shelter. Advanced technologies such as doors and windows seem to confuse some. Yes, they do. Yes, they do. If you hide out in an abandoned house, you're almost guaranteed to make it through the night.

Well, I guess you are. However, in the video that Cornell University probably spent grant money and study money on, The human who is not zomified is standing in the doorway teasing the zombie. That's not a good idea. That's not a good idea because it doesn't mention anything about really making the zombies mad in this video, but I don't think you want to do that. You may be guaranteed to make it through the night, but I don't think you want to make the zombies mad.

Because then you're going to have to find out, I don't know what weapons do you use. Yes, there are many different types of weapons that you could use against the zombies. For example, a baseball bat, a crow ball. That's a good idea. A butcher knife. Yep. Shears or a hammer.

All of these are very good examples of weapons. On the other hand, there are some not-so-good weapons options. Oh, you. Please tell us. A sandal. Bug repeller. Why would you use a sandal? a fax machine

and a leaf why would you use a leaf why would you attempt to use a leaf on a zombie it doesn't make any sense you can throw the fax machine I guess you might start swinging the sandal maybe why would you use a leaf

now you have those weapons but the idea that you have the weapons I mean how do you kill these zombies Now you've got it In fact, striking a zombie in the head With any sharp or blunt object is the only way to kill them Wait

What Now you've got it In fact, striking a zombie in the head With any sharp or blunt object Is the only way to kill them Oh, okay, whoof You couldn't kill them if you struck them with a sandal or a leaf That's

No way Could you kill them with the sandal or leave Now Alright so you've you've made it this far This is so sad You've made it this far How would I must know how to survive

If during the zombie attack Tip number one Always make sure to have a good supply of food on hand Thank you That's Really That's Tip number one?

Can we hear tip number one again? Because I don't know that I got it. Tip number one. Always make sure to have a good supply of food on hand. That's a good tip. What's the, what's another tip? Another tip that people don't know is that zombies are actually afraid of fire. No, no.

They're afraid of fire? Wow. So if they're afraid of fire, I should probably make sure I have matches. or lighters or what kind of fire starters or something that'd be a good idea. I just want to know that that was from bad idea films.

And yes, that was a bad idea. You should stick with the Walking Dead. But you should also remember the tips I gave you because besides being, sounding, having not good,

those tips were darn good. The tips were good. The video and audio, not so much. Here we go. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. Jeff Fisher Show. Hi.

1-88-903-33. Welcome to it. Michael Pelka. His broadcast, Pure Opelka, coming up immediately following this broadcast. We've got a couple of quick stories here, but you know, you had the Justice Department sex party report, sex with a few. his wife, sex with anonymous partners on the job, sex parties funded by drug cartels. I bet those were fun.

And I mean that. An overseas porn ass tightening his, oh my gosh. I have got a part of the Justice Department. But it doesn't surprise me that then we find studies coming out that say, you know, we've all heard pornography bad, pornography bad, pornography addiction bad. and really any addiction is bad. I mean, everything in moderation, right? I mean, that pretty much goes without saying everything in moderation. Sex, drugs, rock and roll, food.

I didn't even tell you about food this week, did I? Well, we'll move on to food then. My gosh, everything in moderation. Choices have consequences. You've heard it before. You know it. If you're like me, you've tried it. every diet in America, or at least what you thought was every diet in America.

Some of them worked for a little while. Some of them didn't. Most of them fail because you don't learn the right way to eat. Well, you can do that with Simple to Lose. Simple to Lose.com. You know, the first six months, I lost about 120 pounds. And it's amazing. And you eat every three hours.

You follow the Habits of Health program that, Dr. Wayne Anderson has developed. And you use the program with the simple-to-lose plan. And what is the simple-to-lose plan? Something different than anything else. The free health coach. You call, you sign up, you get that free health coach. That health coach sticks with you throughout the entire process.

And you're able to talk to them, and they can talk to you. Mine used to just call me out of the blue. I'd be ready to sit down to a giant, you know, pizza, soda. what are you doing? Nothing. Nothing. Getting ready to have one slice of pizza and some diet soda. No, I don't want that steak sandwich I just ordered, sir, cancel that order.

That's what the free health coach is for. And when you're having problems yourself, really, you feel like sometimes you sit at the couch and eat your ice cream and you think you're all alone. You're not. You think you're the only one that's ever sat on the couch eating ice cream. You're not. You think you're the only one that's lost weight and gained weight, lost weight and gained weight, and struggled with your weight. You're not.

Simple to lose.com. Simple, the number two, lose.com. I'm fascinated with how it works and helps. It just has done wonders for me. And I lost about 120 pounds, and then I lost, and I gained some back. I'm I, you know, you struggle with working the plan and choices do have consequences. So you say to yourself, well, yes, choices have consequences and I'm making those choices. And once you realize that those choices, your choices actually do give you those consequences,

it's time to make the good choices, not just the bad choices. And so many people fail because when they go off their diet, they just go back to binge eating like they were eating before. No, you didn't fail. You just step back a little bit, that's all. Simple2.lose.com. Simple the number two lose.com. A lot of really cool tech stuff coming on. This is the Jeff Fisher Show.

Only on the Blaze Radio Network. A Fisher Show. Welcome to it. 888-90333 is the phone number. Sure, to a U.S. senators announcing retirement last week. Dan Coates, Republican from Indiana and the great Harry Reid from Nevada. Good to see you go, Harry. I know you'll only be around for another 20 months.

Like Eric Holder. I'm going to leave someday. And we'll all just celebrate your retirement. And sure, Representative Barbara Lee, Democrat from California, proposed a resolution on Wednesday that said, as the climate changes, it will cause food and water, scarcity around the world. That will create pressures on poor women in particular,

since they are often charged with growing food, collecting water for their families. It'll force women to trade sex for food. That coming from Representative Barbara Lee, Democrat from California. Sure, you've got all that going on, but you also have some really cool technology things going on. And perhaps when the technology reaches a certain point, people like Representative Barbara Lee from California will just be overwhelmed and go away.

We won't have to worry about it. Okay. So, let's talk about some of the – these stories are just – I don't know where to begin because I love the idea. The team of biohackers, they figure out how to inject your eyes. eyeballs with night vision. Inject your eyeballs with night vision. I mean, amazingly. They found that they've been using it based on could enhance healthy eyesight enough

that would induce night vision. And they used the kind of chlorophyll called Chlorine E6, which is found in some deep sea fish. and it's used already to treat night blindness. Now, what they did is they went ahead and shot it directly in rats. And then, of course, one of the biotech members said, well, just shoot my eyeball with it. Let's go. And I will say, having not had anything injected into my eyeball directly in my life,

It doesn't look like something I want to do, but it's really cool that you can do it. It's going to mean a lot. It will help all kinds of things in searching for it's all for your safety. Nothing bad can ever happen with injecting someone with chlorine E6 and letting them have night vision in their own eyes on their own. nothing bad can happen. This is all for your safety. What if your child gets kidnapped and is out of the woods? Do you want to stop the search at night?

Of course not. We've got a man here that's going to inject his eyes with night vision juice. Chlorine E6. We're going to go through the woods at night and try to find your son or your daughter. All for your safety. All good. Nothing bad will happen. Okay?

Remember that. So that's kind of cool, right? Really cool. A lot of applications for that. Cells that make up your body filled with amazing molecular machinery. You know that. So these guys, in Germany, invented a new technique creating movable structures, just a few millions of a meter long out of DNA.

shape-shifting DNA nanostructures. Little machines. Now, they say, and it's working, the molecule that stores your genetic information consists of two strands that snap together. Pieces of the DNA also glam onto other ends. So these nanostructures then can glab onto the other ends. Now, according to these guys, they can control it. Right?

And I love the professor, Heinrich Dietz, lead author. The beauty about the system is that it's really simple. Uh-huh. We're creating nanobots to shift your DNA. The beauty of the system is it's really simple. You have blunt-ended DNA that serves as glue. You don't have design sequences anymore. You only have to design shape complementarity.

Shape complementarity. Shape complementarity. Say it again with me. Everyone. Shape complementarity. Using this molecular glue, they put bits of DNA together and built structures. Nanobots, movable arms. Billions of a centimeter long.

Unbelievable. They put the pieces together. And what they, now what they figure that they can do is they can make it a drug carrier that would deliver specific compound to a certain location and only that location,

where it's say, you know, a tumor or whatever it is, and they could put certain whatever drug inside the nanobot or nanobots. and then when the doctor decides that it's right, they can turn it on and it will shoot the drug out. And when they find that it's wrong, shut it off.

Now, let me say again, nothing bad can happen with this technology. It's all for good. Say you get sick. Say your little child. Get sick. You're going to one. nanobiot technology.

You don't want the drug to go in and save your child. It's all for your safety. Nothing bad can happen. Okay. Boeing Patent's Force Field. That's a great headline because you start thinking, how cool is that? Okay. They've been granted a patent for, really, it's a

forerunner to the force fields that you and I think are an actual force field, way, way off from the actual force field that we think of. However, it is pretty cool. You turn it on and it senses a shockwave and an explosion or whatever and it will send out an electromagnetic arc to a selected region and it will stop the force of whatever it picked up. Now, it doesn't stop objects, which is yet. Okay? So in the first medium, it probably would be like air would generate a second medium of density and make it hot and shoot off, and then it would stop that force, whatever, the force of the explosion coming toward the vehicle or the building or whatever.

However, it's close. And they're probably closer than what they have the patent for on this. They get the patent for this, and then they're already way beyond that. So we're almost there. We're almost there. It's not going to, right now, they're saying, you know, it won't protect people, vehicles, or buildings from direct hits, but it's going to protect from shockways of nearby impacts. So direct hits, you're still gone.

But if you're not a direct hit, you're good. You make sure it's on and it will deflect. And again, this is all for your safety. Nothing bad can happen. Nothing. Let's say your child was in school. Learning, educating, growing, being the little Billy Bonnie that they are. And someone lights a bomb.

the building next door at the government building next door. And it explodes and the school has the shockwave from Boeing turns on, stops the school from shaking and exploding down and saves the lives of all children inside. Only good can happen from this device. Nothing bad. All for your safety. Now, this is probably one of my favorite things because we are so close. If you take the injection of the chlorine E6 or whatever the heck it's called for the night vision.

I think it's chlorine E6. I can't remember what the heck it's called. It's going to drive me crazy unless I can think of it. So just bear with me, okay. Chlorophyll chlorine E6. Yes. For night vision. Shoot it in your eyes.

Night Vision, okay? Now, Sony has developed these glasses, glasses with a connection, and you have to have, you know, your app, you have your phone, an app you carrying it with you. But it's glasses that you wear, and you have the app, and it creates on your phone or on your glasses, you see. Your glasses are your screen. So you see who's calling. You can talk.

You can get GPS coordinates. You can get GPS to. stores, all of it. Hologram optics. Really cool. So, how close are we? To remember the show, Continuum, when she has the eye,

and really it's, she has the, the, uh, uh, eyepiece in her, in her eye. So it's not glasses. It's inside. Uh,

well, that has all this information and comes up as a screen. So she sees it. We're close to that. Very close to that. With this. Very cool. I will say that it's a little, you know, it's got the little wire hanging off

to the side, the little control thing that it looks a little clunky. It doesn't look bad. It just looks like I don't know that I would want to carry it around, although it would be really cool to use. And you put the glasses on and all the information is on the screen. Now, this with the show. shooting up your eyes with the chlorine E6, we're very close to being able to do things with our vision and our brain that we can't even consider right now.

And it also bodes well with what I said, I don't know, quite a number of years ago about we're just going to wear helmets. Why do I want to wear these little glasses? And then have to worry about if I want to talk to someone, I need an earpiece, I need an earpiece, which this phone I don't think has. I didn't see an earpiece on it, so you can't get audio. The audio is a separate thing. So why not just wear a helmet? And so I pull the, face mask down, and I've got my screen. I can see out of it. I've got my computer screen. I can talk. I can have headphones, earpieces, I can have a microphone in the helmet. I can talk. I can listen. I can

guide the computer, voice activated, or I can use, you know, whatever control I need in my pocket, whatever app process. And we're all just wear helmets. I love it. And don't forget they're going to be charging for this. You're not going to get this for free. I mean, they make sure that please note that these are possible use cases, the video that they show. They require dedicated applications and services.

Of course they will. They'll require dedicated applications and services. Of course. We don't want you to think that we want to use your stuff for free. Well, we do. but we don't want you to think that. So you've got the helmet. And that's,

I mean, that's the alien, right? You see the aliens with the one eye. The one eye isn't an eye. It's just a screen on the head. It was just developed over, you know,

millions of years. Oh, wait. What? No, never mind. That can't happen. You're out of your mind, Jeff.

I know. I know. I'm crazy. For right now, though, I'm happy with just wearing my helmet. Can I have that, please? Sony.

Sony. The glasses, they're cool, but can I just have my Sony helmet that has everything available? You sure can, Jeff, but that's going to require dedicated applications and services. You know that, right? This is The Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. Not much time left. Michael Pelkin coming up right after this broadcast. So I'll save my porn stories for next week.

So we've got some tremendous porn stories for you. Now, it's official the Walking Dead Companion Show on AMC. Dennis Crabtree tweeted me a few hours ago, and then I had my man Aaron look it up. It's official the new show. I didn't think it was real when I saw the tweet from Dennis because it's called Fear the Walking Dead. I don't like it.

I don't like it. It should be called something else. They should have contacted me. And speaking of one more Walking Dead story, okay? Walking Dead, call me. Why am I not been contacted to be a walker and be killed? on your program. I should be killed on your program.

And I know Glenn Beck started his little thing earlier this week about maybe we could give away a walk or kill to the listeners or something. Yeah. Uh, no. Uh, we can do that with me. So call me, AMC.

And I love you listeners. And yes, after me, no problem will give you one. But before me, uh, no. Uh,

have a great week. Okay. Have a great week. Wow. Look at you. Anybody told you you look great yet? No? Well, you do.

I mean, you look great. Except, you, uh, you're really not going to wear that all day, are you? You are? Okay. All right. Looks good on you. This is the Jeff Fisher show. Only on the Blaze Radio Network.