Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Jeffy's Corner: Act Better!

Episode Date: February 27, 2016

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You're listening to the Jeff Fisher Show. When our water heater broke down last month, it was a nightmare. It took five hours for the plumber to show up, and he charged us a couple of hundred bucks just to come out. Then it cost another $1,800 to put in the new water heater. By the time it was all said and done, I felt like I'd been taken. But what else could I do? The smartest thing you can do is get a home warranty from American residential warranty.

Their home warranties pay to repair or replace all your major appliances when they break, and they will break. And at the worst possible time, call American Residential Warranty right now for free information on home warranties starting at just pennies a day. Don't wait for your refrigerator to stop running or your ceiling fans to stop turning.

Call American Residential Warranty right now. Ask how you can save up to 50% on washer and dryer coverage. Just call 1-800-6-8-6-39-10. That's 1-800-6-6-39-10. Again, 1-800-6-6. 68639-10. Call now. Now, we can talk a little Oscars if you want. I was looking at for the best picture.

And I've got a few to see yet, and I had a couple of the best pictures loaned to me, like Brooklyn and Room, Spotlight. I really wanted to see Reverend. I haven't gone to the theater to see that yet. And so I've got some movies to watch. Who cares? I was going through the Oscars,

and they really kind of ticked me off. And with their whole, there's not enough African Americans. Okay. I mean, I've had enough of them. They're eating their own. Now, there's some good actors that are up for awards, and perhaps, perhaps maybe the African-American community

could, I don't know, learn, you know, that they shouldn't, you know, get in some movies and act better. I don't know. But that's not the way it's going to. work is it? No. No, it's not. So they're looking like it's, you know, you've got Cranston, DeCaprio, Damon, Fast Bender, Eddie Redmayne for Best Actor. I mean, those are some big time actors. So good luck. And the best actress, Kate Blanchett, Brie Larson, Jennifer Lawrence, Charlotte Rampling. I mean, good luck. God bless. And it's going to be Sunday

And I love them. I love them. I know I'm a freak for these movies. I got it. But I don't know that I can take the Oscars anymore of the glad-handed and the back-slapping. But I did love the story that showed all the stuff they get for free from the 2016 Oscars swag bags. The nominee gift bags. Right?

I mean, they're worth a couple hundred thousand. Maybe more. But there's a, we looked, I was looking down the list, there's a couple of big items. The year's worth of Audi car rentals, well, that's 45,000. A paid trip to Israel is 55,000. Walking tour of Japan, there's 54,000.

So you're already, you know, there's 100,000, you know, 100,500,000. And there's another couple big ones here. One more big one that got you up to about 200,000. So you're really only getting about 50,000 worth of, usable stuff. What was the other big stuff? Oh, and you get

10,000 meal donations made to an animal shelter, a rescue of their choice. So they'll give you a nice little tax right off for that. But a lot of this is a haze dual vaporizer, personalized M&Ms,

a lifetime's supply of protein nourishing cream and cleansing bar. That's 31 grand right there. Wow. Tribute video services. The ultimate poor care set. I am a huge fan.

I'm becoming a huge fan of skin care products. The Healing Saint Luminosity Skin Serum and Hair Follical Stimulant. That's what I want. I want the Healing St. Luminosity Skin Serum and Hair Follicle Stimulant. Worth $193. 10 personal training sessions with a lot of Alexa Seltzky. Come on.

You get a chapstick. $6. There better be a big chapstick. Better be a big container a chapstick. Chocolatanes, drunken fig cake bites. Oh, doesn't that sound good? The chocolatean's drunken fig cake bites? Oh, man.

The dandy patch antiperspiramins solution. Nice. Truzy earrings. For 25 bucks? Come on. Come on now. You get the Fit Club TV Ultimate Fitness Package. That's over $6,000.

What? A three-day stay at the Golden Door Resort and Spa in San Marcos, California. $4,800. Three-night stay at the Grand Hotel Excelsior, Victoria and Sorrento, Italy, $5,000. Three-night stay at the Grand Hotel, Donazzo and Lake Como, Italy, $5,000. See, okay, I'm a fan of those.

I'll be willing to go there for two or three days. But I'm sure you have to pay your way to get there. That's kind of disappointing. I wonder if I get to use my Audi rent a car in Italy, though. Huh? So you need to have a car. Signature vodka, $70. Slimware plates, $30.

Steam a spa system. $5,000 for the steamest spa system? Sundial powder coating. I love the sundial powder. coating. Oh, blow dryers and flat irons. The vampire breast lift. Yes, I want to know what, actually, what that is. We need to find out what that is. The $125 wallet.

The $740 Park Plastic Surgery, $5,530. This is all part of the Academy Awards 2016. Oscar Swagbag. The 740 Park Plastic Surgery for 5 grand. You know, we've talked about this before. I get the plastic surgery. But you have to really be vampire breast lift. You have to be really willing to stop because what happens is you get one cut.

We've talked about it before. And you look good. You think, wow, that looks okay, man. If I could just do maybe the other side. and get down here, take care of a little bit of this. And so you go for that. And then pretty soon you're like one cutaway from Cloud Face. And you see it happening with those.

You see it happening with the actors and actresses and people that you know. They're just one cutaway from Clown Face. Would you try the vampire breast lift? Let's see what the heck this is. I have to know that Dr. Ronald was also behind the injection of, ooh, this doc injects something into the women's private part to rejuvenate the G-spot of the vampire breast lift kit. We've realized a few things about this world. We'd like to introduce to the vampire breast lift lift. but the idea, which made famous one day,

what else, one of the 50 minutes, 18,000, it doesn't say what it is. The good doctor draws patient's blood extracts pallet-rich plasma from their blood and then injects it back into their breasts. If you'd prefer a more in-depth walk-through. Okay, so it takes your blood, extracts the pallet-rich plasma,

the PRP, in parentheses, from your blood, and then injects it, back into your breasts. So it's the vampire breast lift. Yes, I want that. I mean, I think I need that, actually. I'm tired of, tired of my breast sagging.

So, very important that I get the vampire breast lift. For $1,900 bucks, takes your blood, takes out the, takes, the PRP, the pallid, rich, bitch, plasma. It will inject it back into your breasts. Hollywood, man. I freaking love Hollywood. Okay. What I really wanted to talk about,

well, now I want to talk about the vampire breast lift kit for $900 because it sounds extraordinary. And the doc also does some other things that fascinates me. And I may have to tweet that out at Jeffie MRA. or put it up on my Facebook page, Jeff Fisher Radio, maybe doing an Instagram shot, a vampire breast lift kit on me at Jeff EMRA on Instagram as well. But I really wanted to talk about astronaut Scott Kelly. The guy has a couple days left in space.

He's been in space for 334 consecutive days, and he was up there another time too, right? And he's doing this test. And I've been following him, thanks to my wife, actually pointed it out to me a few months ago. he's been documenting his space on Instagram, his space day on Instagram and social media for NASA. And he's been up in the space station and he's coming home in a couple of days.

A man do I want to talk to him. We're going to try to get him on the air. I really want to talk to Scott Kelly. There's a brother, a twin brother that stayed here on Earth. And they are doing the studies between the brothers. brother who stays on earth and, you know, the other brother who has been in space for a year. And, you know, the differences in what we can do, and we're going to learn, and we're going to learn so much from these two on what the future will bring for us in space travel for the human body.

And I don't know when he comes home if he's going to get the vampire breast lift kit. I mean, I don't know if that happens once you've been in space, but he's, he said he's ready. he could stay up more. He said he was happy to stay up more, but he wants to get home and jump in the pool. And he wants to get back home to Houston and jump in the pool. Now obviously he gets home,

he's going to have all kinds of tests to do and everything. But think about this. He said his time and space, this is the second stint. He's actually tallied 520. 20 days in space, which I think is a record. But he said it's somewhat of a harsh environment in this interview. You don't feel perfectly normal.

There's a lack of running water. He compared the impact on personal hygiene to the effects of having been in the woods camping for a year. Boy, doesn't that sound good. And the close quarters that are the inevitable result of being shut into a medium-sized house with five roommates. almost half the time I've been here between sleeping and working on the computer I've spent in a box the size of a phone booth

that's the size of his crew quarters wow and the biggest toll of this extra long work trip is the isolation and it showed there was a picture that I saw one of the pictures over the you know with the past year or whatever was them

in getting ready to take off. And I thought, I don't know that I could do that. It felt like I was in the MRI machine again. Just looking at that picture, felt like I was in the MRI machine again for my shoulder because I was about ready to freak out in that thing. I don't know if I could do that. But Scott Kelly does, he does cumulative days in space.

He's the man right now. And, man, I hope I would love. to talk to him. A Russian, oh, I see. Scott is good for the U.S., but a Russian has spent 14 months in the space station. So, Scott, I mean,

what are you doing, man? Stay up another year. Let's go. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. On the Blaze Radio Network. When our water heater broke down last month, It was a nightmare. It took five hours for the plumber to show up, and he charged us a couple of hundred bucks just to come out.

Then it cost another $1,800 to put in the new water heater. By the time it was all said and done, I felt like I'd been taken. But what else could I do? The smartest thing you can do is get a home warranty from American Residential Warranty. Their home warranties pay to repair or replace all your major appliances when they break, and they will break. And at the worst possible time, call American Residential Warranty right now. free information on home warranties starting at just pennies a day.

Don't wait for your refrigerator to stop running or your ceiling fans to stop turning. Call American residential warranty right now. Ask how you can save up to 50% on washer and dryer coverage. Just call 1-800-686-39-10. That's 1-800-6-8-6-39-10. Again, 1-800-6-6-39-10. Call now.