Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Jeffys Corner: "Can I Interest You In A Vacuum Cleaner, Doc?"

Episode Date: February 20, 2016

Jeff Fisher is live from 6am to 8am ET, Saturday. Listen for free on The Blaze Radio Network: www.theblaze.com/radio & www.iheart.comFollow Jeffy on Twitter: @JeffyMRA Like Jeffy on Facebook: www.facebook.com/JeffFisherRadioFollow Jeffy on Instagram: @jeffymra Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to the Jeff Fisher Show. When our water heater broke down last month, it was a nightmare. It took five hours for the plumber to show up, and he charged us a couple of hundred bucks just to come out. Then it cost another $1,800 to put in the new water heater. By the time it was all said and done, I felt like I'd been taken. But what else could I do? The smartest thing you can do is get a home warranty from American residential warranty.

Their home warranties pay to repair or replace all your major appliances when they break, and they will break. And at the worst possible time, call American Residential Warranty right now for free information on home warranties starting at just pennies a day. Don't wait for your refrigerator to stop running or your ceiling fans to stop turning.

Call American Residential Warranty right now. Ask how you can save up to 50% on washer and dryer coverage. Just call 1,800-6-6-39-10. That's 1-800-6-39-10. Again, 1-800-6-6. 68639-10. Call now. I'm in, Sam, I'm in the Sprint store the other day with my wife. Looking at, you know, whatever.

She wanted to check out something. And they actually helped us in, you know, another, some kind of new deal. Who knows? I don't know. I don't pay attention. The guy standing there talking to my wife. And my wife is, you know, talking about this. And she asked me, what do I think?

What do I think? Here's what I think. I don't want to lose any of the benefits I have right now, and I want to spend less money. That's what I want. If you've created that, that's the deal I want. If you can't give me the same product or more that I have already for less money, we don't need to talk. We're done.

I've already got to deal with you. And my wife is like, oh, my gosh. What's wrong with that? I don't want to talk to these people. I just don't. So anyway, they have this thing in their store from what's her name, Kate Spade of New York. She's a designer. She's got phone cases, designer, designer laptop sleeves.

And I'm looking at these designs. I am missing the boat with my daughter. My daughter, some of the stuff she draws is beautiful. And beautiful enough for a phone case. I'm just going to call it Maya. NYU. We're just going to create Maya. And that's going to be our deal.

I mean, I was, I stopped and look. I mean, seriously, I was, just stood and stared at. Kate Spade. A phone case designed. Kate Spade. Stop it. I mean, I got it. I think it's a great idea.

Congratulations, Kate. You got a deal. I should have thought of it before you. I should have had my daughter drawing stuff for these stupid phone cases years ago. It was a great idea. And then I read a story about this lady a cancer survivor who designs cards. She whizzes. She received.

And I thought, you know, how many times have we said that? How many times have we thought? And we've joked around. Cards, you know, are they're not that good. I'm not a big fan of them, really. I like giving them just simply because they're okay. I'd rather have the kids make their own cards. It's more personal.

It's better, right? And it says what they want to say, whether it's, you know, I love you or I'll see you next week or whatever it is. And the picture is what they want the picture to be. You know, whatever that is. And so it's more personal. So this Emily McDowell was diagnosed with stage three, Hodgkin's lymphoma at 24.

and she's in remission now. And she claims that the most difficult part of the illness wasn't losing her hair, you know, being called Sir at Starbucks. But she writes that many of the close friends and family members disappeared out of her life because they didn't know what to say. Or, you know, people say the absolutely wrong thing. So she has come up with cards, the empathy cards for people to actually to give that are real life.

The first one that you see is I'm really sorry. I haven't been in touch. I didn't know what to say. I mean, how many times have you said that to yourself that you just wanted to say? This is a tremendous idea. Just so you know, card number two, I'm totally on board for driving you to treatment, cleaning your place, helping pick up flattering wigs,

coming up with badass visualization exercises. And if you twist my arm, I guess I'd also be cool with lying on the couch and watching trashy TV together. I know it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. I love you. Come on. And people have a hard time seeing friends and family suffering and going through the whole cancer thing.

And you can, that's what I call it, the whole cancer thing. It's just bad. I mean, I've seen it, I've been up close and personal a couple of times. One turned out bad. The other turned out good. Actually, a couple times turned out good. And it's during the process, it's really frustrating because you don't, you know, people say, look, everything happens for a reason.

And that's when you give the card, please let me be the first to punch the next person who tells you everything happens for a reason. I'm sorry you're going through this. Right? I mean, that's like the pregnant woman that everybody wants to touch your belly. A no. I know hashtag F. Cancer doesn't help you get through it. I'm here anytime you need me.

A great idea. A great idea. Right? Giving cards that actually say what you want them to say. Emily McDowell. I'm so. sorry you're sick. I want to say, you know, that I will never try to sell you on some random treatment I read about on the internet. Right? When life gives you lemons, I won't tell you a story

about my cousin's friend who died of lemons. One more chemo down. Let's celebrate with whatever doesn't taste disgusting. And that's what chemo is. For those of you want to wear, it's poison. They put it in your body to kill everything. And then your body fights back. Hopefully. That's what the hope is. Kill everything in your bloodstream and then your body. But while the chemo is busy killing, you don't feel very good.

I promise never to refer to your illness as a journey unless someone takes you on a cruise. Cute little cards from Emily McDowell. And, you know, tremendous idea, a million-dollar idea. And so is Kate Spade, New York. Sprint phone covers. iPhone covers. Samsung phone covers. I'm serious about my daughter.

I've got to get that going. It doesn't even need to be New York or Texas or Dallas. Just my, uh, we've got to make that happen on phones. but selling is I've always kind of hated selling I'm not a sales guy you know on the radio or television I mean I can

I'm happy to tell you about products and hopefully you decide to purchase those products because I find them good enough for other people for me to use and for you to use but actually sell you something I've always hated that

And that's because you have to close, right, what they call close. And that means close the deal. End it. Make the deal. Buy it or what? In or out. I've just always hated it. I was thinking about that because Doc Thompson and Skiplecombe were here in Dallas this week.

And so I had an opportunity to see them, you know, a few times while they were here in town. And I don't know if I should tell you that. We were talking about a couple of ideas that Doc has for the show. And he was, we were joking around, and I started telling him about, you know, I used to, I've sold carpeting. And I've sold, well, they're not vacuum cleaners. I've sold compact cleaning systems. What do you have in a vacuum? And I gave him the sales pitch.

You know, and I remember most of the sales pitch, like when people say, I already have a vacuum cleaner. Well, vacuum cleaners don't work. look what do you have in a vacuum nothing right that's exactly what you're picking up with your cleaner but with the compact cleaning system and it's out and it's fascinating to sell it and it was a great product

I loved the product it worked but and then I had an old guy that from Arizona that took me under his wing selling carpet for a company that had opened up.

And we, you know, did the rounds. And he was an old sales guy from way back. So he, you know, stepped me through the wings of selling carpet. And it's fascinating to do, but I just hate the clothes. I've got a cousin that's made a fortune doing multi-level marketing. But it's just hit and move. stick and go don't no waiting

sell close it and move on and I've always just hated that but I you know it was the worst now that I'm thinking about this stupid

compact cleaning system when I was selling compact cleaning systems I lost a car a car of mine was destroyed I bought a car and I had an old black station wagon that I had bought from someone, a friend of my mother's that used to be a flower wagon from a funeral home.

I love that black station wagon. Ford had, it was great. But, you know, I was old and breaking down at the time. So I got another car and I left it parked in the parking lot of the building that we were go to for the compact cleaning systems. And this was in Michigan, so it's winter or it's snows, which I hate. And so we had a big snow, and the snowplow pushes my car into the back of the parking lot under this giant mound of snow. Right?

So my car is under this giant mound of snow. There's no way I'm getting it out. But that's the only thing that could have happened to my car. So I know it's there. Right? So I got to wait until spring to get my car out of this mound of snow. I know it's there. It's on a place.

A guy watched, you can see where the snowplow just pushed it back into this pile. I gotta wait till spring. So it's getting close to spring. And I think, well, you know, maybe I can go over and dig it out, try to get a star to get it out of there. I go over there. Someone has tunneled into this mound of snow to my car, got in the car, and they've been partying in this thing. I don't know how long throughout the winter. There's cigarette butts and empty cans and a blanket and a pillow.

I mean, they're partying in my car. And the things are broken and crap was burned. And so I'm like, I walked away. I walk. I was like, that's agonizing. And I had a set of golf clubs in the back of it that are gone. I forgot about that. I forgot about losing my golf clubs.

I was, I was, I will, car and golf clubs gone. Just because of the snow plow plows into this mound of snow. All because of compact cleaning systems. So then a couple months go by. I don't even remember how long, but I just know that I was, you know, at the house and I, I get. Yes. Hey, Jeff, Mr. Yes.

You own the, uh, black station wagon over there and such, such. Yeah. I'll give you a 50 bucks for it right now. You just sign this paper. Okay. Thank you. Have a nice day. All.

All. Because of those bastard compact cleaning systems. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. On the Blaze Radio Network. When our water heater broke down last month, it was a nightmare. It took five hours for the plumber to show up. and he charged us a couple of hundred bucks just to come out. Then it cost another $1,800 to put in the new water heater.

By the time it was all said and done, I felt like I'd been taken. But what else could I do? The smartest thing you can do is get a home warranty from American residential warranty. Their home warranties pay to repair or replace all your major appliances when they break, and they will break. And at the worst possible time, call American Residential Warranty right now. For free information on home warranties starting at just pennies a day, Don't wait for your refrigerator to stop running or your ceiling fans to stop turning.

Call American residential warranty right now. Ask how you can save up to 50% on washer and dryer coverage. Just call 1-800-6-8-6-39-10. That's 1-800-6-6-39-10. Again, 1-800-6-6-39-10. Call now.