Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Jeffy's Corner: "Happy Birthday, I Need Clean Socks"

Episode Date: September 19, 2015

Jeff Fisher is live from 6am to 8am ET, Saturday. Listen for free on The Blaze Radio Network: www.theblaze.com/radio & www.iheart.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to the Jeff Fisher Show. Hey, it's Glenn, and I want to remind you, peace of mind is tough to come by these days unless you have a Liberty Safe. With a Liberty Safe, you won't worry when you leave the house because you'll know your valuables are protected. And right now, you can get free delivery to your home on any Liberty Safe. Go to LibertySafe.com for factory direct pricing. LibertySafe.com made in the USA lifetime warranty and peace of mind. LibertySafe.com. I must say, happy birthday.

to my wife. Happy birthday. I love you. She's out camping, which she wanted to do. She loves to camp. So do I. A two star or above.

But she's out. Scouts and my son are camping. And I made a little birthday for her yesterday. You know what's special about the birthdays, what happens around everyone's birthday? And you're thinking, you know, what am I? I need to get my wife.

I need to get her something. Of course, you know, I mean, you have to get something, right? You don't? No, you do. And I, you know, what would happen prior to someone's birthday that you wanted to do something, you know, really nice for? Like, I don't know, car repairs. I don't know. Wash machine floods the house.

Just a couple things. So you had that going for you, you know, before your birthday. So you know that you're going to live with the cupcakes and the ice cream. Oh, man. Come on. Is it a new law, by the way, and I mean this sincerely, is there a law that I miss being passed that when you take your car into a repair shop you cannot leave that repair shop until you pay at least $500 and usually more.

It was like something that I missed in the whole lawmaking thing across the country. This is a new executive order from the great Barack Obama. Did I miss that? Because that's the way it is. Okay. You pull in for, hey, I've got this thing wrong for you. And out comes. All right, we've got the report from the mechanic here.

You need, well, really, you should get new tires. You know, it's not a must, but they're riding a little low. And then they run down a litany of phoenortners and buttons and switches that need to be fixed and taken apart and moved. And, you know, we can't. Look, look, the part. Part's only $39.99. But it's going to cost, I got, I got guys got to work on it. They've got to drop the whole frame.

they've got to take the side panels off. They've got to drop the exhaust and then we've got to get that two-inch hose and put it on. And then we've got to put everything back together again. That's going to cost you $345, just in labor alone. Come on now. Go on. Come on. Stop.

Not enough of my whining about cars. And then if I'm whining, then I'm going to whine about my washing machine too. So throw a quick load. Thursday, I think it was Thursday evening, well, it doesn't matter. One of the evenings, we, my wife throws a load of laundry in late. I'm not going to do that, that done throws it in late, and we go back in, and, you know, laundry room is off the kitchen, and our bedroom is off the other side. So, you know, I mean, it's not that far away.

And we're laying there and watching some stupid show, who knows what it is. and you hear, and I'm thinking, what the heck is going on? Did you know that there's a lot of water in a washing machine? I don't know if you know that or not. And when it screws up and doesn't shut off and keeps cranking out, man, some serious water comes out of that thing. Our kitchen was a new swimming pool. You have a brand new swimming pool. There's the water everywhere.

Just agonizing. And then, of course, so you've got to go shopping for the new washing machine, right? And do you get the set? Do you think, I mean, the dryer's working great. Do you replace the dryer too? I mean, because you can't. Oh, my gosh. You can't have the different kind of dryer than the washer, right?

Or can you? And now the new. new washing machines all have, you've got to take high test laundry detergent. There's no more regular. We bypass that. If you've got the older washing machines where you can use the regular gasoline

and the regular wash and now those days are over. Those days are over. And if you put that into the washing machine a and I don't know, it makes me want to try it actually, but I don't want to spend another, you know,

$2,000 They say that if you put the old laundry detergent into the new washing machine, it'll mess up the engine. And it does nothing but create a monster amount of suds everywhere. And you just got suds going around coming out everywhere. I almost want to try it. If someone would like to loan me, you know, two or three grand, I'll film it for you. I'll do it. But until then, nope.

And then, you know, you have to pick and go shopping with your wife and look at laundry. Washing machines and dryers. This is a soap. It's beautiful. Yep, I like that washing machine. It looks great. Do you want the front loader or the top loader? You have to program this particular washing machine will hold 36.2 gallons of water.

And this machine, washing machine will hold 36.4. But the point two actually holds more because it's a wider circumference on the thing. Shut up. I don't know which one do you like. I don't know that one's kind of nice, but, you know, whichever one you like, I know. I like that one too, but that one's got the, you know, it's got the scrubber for the delicates, and it's nice, and I can put the comforter in it and it works. That sounds great.

That sounds great. Do you like that one? We'll get that one. Yeah. I can try to get it there for you. I don't know. I can't, I can't, probably, can't get it there tomorrow. I know that sign says next day shipping, but we're bugged.

I know, but not the only way you can get it to your house now is, you know, you can take it out of here yourself. I'm not doing that. Well, then let's see. We'll get it there sometime. I know you got to do a lot of it. You know, don't, that sign, if you look at the small print underneath it, it says next day shipping, if available.

And then did you know, besides, aside from that, now they have the new washing machine and dryers that are wider and bigger. So if you like those, uh, Go home and measure your doors. Make sure you can get them in your house because if they can't get through the doors, it ain't going to be delivered. We'll sell them to you, but it ain't going into the washing machine room. Okay?

We're going to leave it out in the garage for you. Agonizing. Washing machine shopping, dryer shopping. So the next time that you go into Depot, Lowe, wherever stores, whatever, you know, whatever store is selling your little washing, machine and dryers, take a look at them. And think to yourself, if I need to get one, what would I like?

Because there was an old guy there, and he was shopping around. We were talking to the guy. The guy was actually taught. We were going to buy one. And this lady comes up and goes, excuse me, I don't mean to butt in. But we're next. I just want to let you know that we're over here and we're next. And I mean, I was close to like, I'm going to be talking a lot longer now.

go away I saw you over there and we saw you your little staring at guess what I've got about 18 more questions right now we're going to get down to

how long the cord of the plug is attached to before he gets done with me okay so go away but the guy that was with her then he comes up oh no I take that back the guy who was

who was helping us has some other guys some other guys walking by and he goes, hey, can you help this couple over here, which was nice? And he goes, yeah, of course, the guy that he asked, you know, doesn't know the answers. Of course. So this guy has to come and ask our guy the answer to a question. So it did no good. But the old man is pissed because the new watch. There's no agitator.

Is that an agitator? It says agitin. No, it's a new modern. It's agitates. It doesn't do like the old ones. No. It doesn't do that. No, sir.

Your wife is the agitator, okay? Live with that one. Pure Opelka with Mike Opelka. I don't want to make you mad, but I have a feeling a couple of the stories I want to talk about this week are going to really have you spinning, steaming, stomping. Wait a minute, that's what they did to me. I'll share them with you anyway. Please join us.

Pure Opelka. Saturdays 8 to 9 a.m. Eastern on the Blaze Radio Network.