Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Jeffy's Corner: Hookers & Blow

Episode Date: January 9, 2016

Jeff Fisher is live from 6am to 8am ET, Saturday. Listen for free on The Blaze Radio Network: www.theblaze.com/radio & www.iheart.comFollow Jeffy on Twitter: @JeffyMRA Like Jeffy on Facebook: www.facebook.com/JeffFisherRadio Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to the Jeff Fisher Show. When our water heater broke down last month, it was a nightmare. It took five hours for the plumber to show up, and he charged us a couple of hundred bucks just to come out. Then it cost another $1,800 to put in the new water heater. By the time it was all said and done, I felt like I'd been taken. But what else could I do? The smartest thing you can do is get a home warranty from American residential warranty.

Their home warranties pay to repair or replace all your major appliances when they break, and they will break and at the worst possible time. Call American Residential Warranty right now for free information on home warranties starting at just pennies a day. Don't wait for your refrigerator to stop running or your ceiling fans to stop turning. Call American Residential Warranty right now. Ask how you can save up to 50% on washer and dryer coverage. Just call 1-800-6-6-39-10.

That's 1-800-6-8-6-39-10. Again, 1-800-6-6. 686, 3910. Call now. So, the question is, what would you do with $800 million? That's the power ball. Drawing tonight, January 9th, 2016, $800 million. It may go up to 900. Everyone assumed that it would be up to a billion, but it hasn't quite grown like they, you know, like it doubles faster the smaller.

And now that it seems that the numbers are changing a little bit as it gets bigger, so it doesn't grow as fast as it does when it's low. It's a strange thing. I don't want to get into Jeffie math with you, but it's a strange thing. still 800 million cash payout uh what uh 400 400 million 375 something like that that's not bad that's not bad and you can't play if you you can't win if you don't play right i mean that's the that's the that's the that's the moniker of the lotto. Odds that you win the $800 million? One in $292,000,200,000.

Now they changed those odds in October. They lowered the odds of winning from one in $175 million to the one in $292 million, roughly. $292,000, $200,000. They wanted to up the jackpots. It worked.

Odds of being struck by lightning in the U.S., one in 700,000. Odds of dying in an assault by a firearm. That went in 358. You have a pretty good chance of that. Odds of giving birth to identity. quadruplets. One in three million.

Wow. Odds of being arrested if you're drinking, if you're driving drunk, one in 200. So what would you do with $800 million? That's a different tax bracket for sure. and you almost don't want to play, right? Because you just don't want to go into that tax bracket. But you can't win if you don't play. And you have to take a shot, right?

I mean, you could take the 30-year annuity of $800 million, right? So you get a check every year, every month for the next 30 years. Or you take the cash pay out. According to this story, I said, you know, $375, $400 million. This story claims that at $800 million, your cash payout is just under $500 million. Amazing. Amazing. You got to take the cash pay out, right?

Have to. Because you know, I don't care what they say. You know, in 15 years, the lottery is going to come back and say, we don't have your money. Sorry, you are gambling when you want it. We don't have to pay. You have a nice day.

You know that's going to happen. Feel it. Oh, no, Jeff. They put that money into accounts that they can't touch. And it's just strictly your money. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So you want to get what you can get.

You can quote me on that. You want to get what you can get. and 400 million bucks ain't bad. And you can quote me on that too. Now, if you had the conversation with your family, what would you do? Really? I mean, that's a lot of money. And most of us, and myself included, although I think I have a pretty good idea.

That's a lot of money. $400 million. I mean, you can quote me on that too. That's a lot of money. That's more money than most people. have any idea what to do it. You can pretty much get and do whatever you want, half a billion dollars.

So charities, trusts for your children, right? Property, homes, and you're going to want to be able to, you know, take care of, you know, take care of everything. When you start talking about paying off bills and cars and stuff, It's $400 million. Of course you're going to do that.

That's without question. Of course, that's nothing. Of course you're going to do that. What's going to be the problem is being able, you're going to be able to get and do what you want for a long, long time. So you're going to have to manage that money. And that's work. I know it's a job that many of you want.

I'd be happy to take that job as well, but it is work to manage the money and to manage, you know, make sure that it's doing what you want it to do. Now, for many people, their idea of winning money is just having fun. So I see a report earlier in the week when the lotto, the powerball, was only 500 million then. Peanuts. I didn't even play. That's not true. And so, of course, you know, local news stations all across the country, where the states that have the Powerball are doing their news reports. I mean, radio stations,

maybe Mike Opelka is giving away Powerball tickets on his show today. I'd probably not. But most morning shows in radio stations, I mean, that's an easy, easy good bit to do you know TV news has got to do stories on it obviously asking people on the street well would you go down there doesn't know a lot of money how come you don't play how much money do you spend do you play radio stations in the mornings hey we're going to give you a chance at 800 million dollars you could win a lot of ticket and you know you go out and you buy you know 50 quick picks and you give them away on the radio And, you know, it's a good bit.

It's well worth, you know, it's fun. It's fun. So one report in Prim Nevada went out and did their live reporting, Fox 5, went out and did their live shot on the news about what people would do with, you know, if they won the lotto. And this is perhaps the best answer ever.

in America. We're here at the line where people are doing it the old-fashioned way. They're just filling out bubbles here. I want to turn some of these people around and ask you guys, sir, can I ask you what your lucky numbers are? I'm gonna pick 14 24-2-7-15. Those are your lucky numbers. Can I tell you what? Do you know your chances of winning?

Slim to none. Slim to none, you're right. Let me tell you, it's one out of 292 million. What do you think about that? I knew it. You knew it. Your numbers are lucky, though, am I right? Can I ask you, if you want all the money, what would you do with it?

A bunch of hookers and cocaine. Oh, okay, that's not good. Yes, it is. We're looking for a different answer. That's probably not the answer that we're looking for. All right. $500 million can make a huge difference in someone's life. Ophelia, thank you.

Thank you. It's a live TV grand. And the news reporters, 500 million can make a huge difference in some people's life. live news reporting. Ah, that's really not the news answer we were looking for. That's what you get. I mean, that's the, I heard it out of the news. I said, that's ridiculous, man.

So what you can do a lot, see, most people, most people, you know, they see the cameras and the microphones. I don't know if this guy was for real or not. I want to believe that he was just because it was tremendous. That's a tremendous clip. And we'll tweet it out. I'll tweet it out at Jeffrey MRA. But most people, they kind of get, you know, backed off and, you know,

a little shy, you know, news cameras on, the numbers. What would you do? Oh, I would, you know, help my kids. I get a new car, buy a house, get some property, you know, give it to my favorite charity, give it to my charity, whatever. That's what the news is hoping for. I would help my sick parents get a place where they can live out the rest of their life in peace and security and safety.

Yeah, yeah, we all would do that, okay? We got it. No. What we want to know is what would you do if you want $800 million? A bunch of hookers and cocaine. Yes, thank you. Thank you. That has got to be the best answer ever.

A bunch of hookers and cocaine. I got that the guy probably wasn't for real. The video is pretty convincing, though. And when you get your shot at live news, you got to take it, right? So from now on, I want you to remember that when app, Ever, ever, ever when asked. If you're out and about buying a lot of tickets, they throw the live news camera on you,

what would you do if you won the money? I want your answer to be. Bunch of hookers and cocaine. Fantastic. Fantastic. I want people across America to answer, hey, what would you do if you won? A bunch of hookers and cocaine.

Thank you. That's what I would do. Guaranteed. That is great. So have fun. Winning $800 million. I am, that's, man. You and I, you and I would get together one last time.

When I win tonight, when I win tonight. Cross my heart. Cross my heart. Hope to die. That we'll get together. one last time. Before I go spend my 800 million on... Bunch of Hookers and Cocaine.

This is the Blaze Radio Network. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. When our water heater broke down last month, it was a nightmare. It took five hours for the plumber to show up, and he charged us a couple of hundred bucks just to come out. Then it cost another $1,800. to put in the new water heater. By the time it was all said and done,

I felt like I'd been taken. But what else could I do? The smartest thing you can do is get a home warranty from American residential warranty. Their home warranties pay to repair or replace all your major appliances when they break, and they will break. And at the worst possible time, call American Residential Warranty right now. For free information on home warranties starting at just pennies a day. Don't wait for your refrigerator to stop running or your ceiling fans to stop turning.

Call American residential warranty right now. Ask how you can save up to 50% on washer and dryer coverage. Just call 1,8006-39-10. That's 1, 800-686-39-10. Again, 1-800-6-6-8-6-39-10. Call now.