Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Jeffy's Corner: Jump Around

Episode Date: April 25, 2015

Jeff Fisher is live from 6am to 8am ET, Saturday. Listen for free on The Blaze Radio Network: www.theblaze.com/radio & www.iheart.comFollow Jeff at twitter.com/JeffyMRA Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to the Jeff Fisher Show. What if is the question? What if? What if? What if? You ever asked yourself, what if? No, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about what if everybody would jump?

What would happen if everyone on earth stood as close to each other as they could and jumped? And everyone landing on the ground at the same time? What if? this particular scenario is worked out and let's see what happens. At the start of the scenario, the entire Earth's population

has been magically transported into one place. This crowd takes up the area the size of Rhode Island, but there's no reason to use the vague phrase an area the size of Rhode Island. This is our scenario. We can be specific.

They're actually in Rhode Island. Okay, so all the people have gone to Rhode Island, right? You with me? At the stroke of noon, everyone jumps. As we discussed elsewhere, it doesn't really affect the planet. Earth outweighs us by a factor of over 10 trillion. On average, we humans can vertically jump maybe half a meter on a good day.

Even if the Earth were rigid and responded instantly, it would be pushed down by less than an atom's width. Next, everyone falls back to the ground. Technically, this delivers a lot of energy into the earth, but it's spread out over a large enough area that it doesn't do much more than leave footprints in a lot of gardens. Slight pulse of pressure spreads through North America, continental crust, dissipates with little effect. The sound of all those feet hitting the ground creates a loud, drawn-out roar, which lasts many seconds. Eventually, the air grows quiet.

Seconds pass. Everyone looks around. There's a lot of uncomfortable glances. someone coughs. A cell phone comes out of a pocket. Within seconds, the rest of the world's five billion phones follow. All of them, even those compatible with the region's towers,

are displaying some version of no signal. The cell networks have all collapsed under the unprecedented load. Outside Rhode Island, abandoned machinery begins grinding to a halt. The TF Green Airport at Warwick, Rhode Island, handles a few thousand passengers a day. Assuming they got things organized, including sending out scouting missions to retrieve fuel, they can run at 500% capacity for years without making a dent in the crowd.

In addition, all the nearby airports doesn't change the equation much, nor does the region's light rail system. Crowds climb on board container ships in the deep water port of Providence, but stocking sufficient food and water for the long sea voyage proves a challenge. Rhode Island's half a million cars are commandeered. Moments later, I-95, I-195, I-2-95, become the sites of largest traffic jam in the history of the planet. Most of the cars are engulfed by the crowds, but lucky few get out and begin wandering the abandoned road network. Some make it past New York or Boston before running out of fuel. Since the electricity is probably not on at this point, rather than find a working gas pump,

it's easier just to abandon the car and steal a new one. Who can stop you? All the cops are in Rhode Island. The edge of the crowd spreads toward the end of the Southern Massachusetts and Connecticut. Any two people who meet are unlikely to have a language in common, and almost nobody knows the area. The state becomes a patchwork of chaos and coalescing and collapsing social hierarchical. Violence is common. Within weeks, Rhode Island is a graveyard of billions. The survivors spread out across the face of the world and struggled to build a new civilization atop the pristine ruins of the old.

Our species staggers on, but our population has been greatly reduced. Earth's orbit is completely unaffected. It spins along exactly as it did before our species all got together and jumped at the same time. But at least now, we know. What if everyone got together and jumped at the same time? So much more on the Blaze Radio Network just around the corner. And another reason, another reason why you should love Lindsay Lohen. Yeah, I know.

I know. You thought you couldn't love her anymore? Well, you can't. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. Only on the Blaze Radio Network.