Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Jeffy's Corner: Lovin' to keep Livin' & WTF?! (Florida)

Episode Date: September 10, 2016

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This is the Blaze Radio on demand. Hey, this is Jeff Fisher. We'll get to the podcast. First, though, what if there was a progressive liberal phone company targeting conservative candidates and organizations? Would you want to switch to a conservative phone company to help fight against their liberal agenda? Or do nothing and accept that as the cost of owning a phone? Well, now you can take action. That's why Patriot Mobile was created.

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How to live past 100 or to 100. How many of you believe that you can do it? Raise your hands if you think you can. Those of you that are closer to 100 than, let's say, 10, 15 or 20. I'll probably think, you know, 100 doesn't say. sound bad. It's all relative. When you're 20, holy crap, 100. When you're 70, 100 ain't that far off. It looks pretty good. I think I can make it. Well, they've found the secret. So you might, you can write it down if you want or you can, you know, you may be able to remember what I'm going to

tell you. But the secret on how to live a long, happy, happy, you know, Healthy life. Rampant sex. According to the residents of a town in Italy, one in ten locals live past 100 years old. Scientists spent six months looking into why people living in the tiny community seem to live so long and how they ended up basically immune to medical conditions like dementia and heart disease. Turns out a great sex life. Oh, and a good Mediterranean diet based on olive oil, rich and fresh fruit, vegetables and fish.

That's it, though. Forget about that food stuff. It's all about sex. In fact, the mayor last counted, 81 of the village's 700 residents are over 100 years old, are over 100 years old. which leads us to believe why sex robots could be the biggest trend in 2016. When you find out that rampant sex is going to make you live to be over 100, what's the first thing that comes to your mind? A loving wife, a girlfriend, a human?

No, a sex robot. Lonely human seeking mechanical companions. the biggest trend in 2016, sex robots. And good news. When you find out that rampant sex will have you living to be over 100 years old. Chuck, my man Chuck, Chuck in Florida on the line. Hello, Chuck in Florida. How are you?

Greetings from Florida, home of the rudest city in America. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Miami. What are you talking on? Nobody cares. Nobody cares. What kind of speak?

It's a Skype connection. Is it good or bad? I mean, it sounds like you're on some kind of big speaker phone in the middle of a dance hall. Sorry about that. Is it any better? No. But go ahead. Okay.

Well, very well then. Well, no, that's fine. It's just a weird. I don't know why it sounds like that. I've never heard it sound like that from your Skype connection. We must investigate. Maybe it's because I've reorganized my office and there's less crap in here. So maybe it's...

Put some crap in there. Yeah, we're going to have to baffle the room a little bit, as much as I am baffled every week. I was getting to the stories of the week. It's a very interesting Florida week. If you haven't noticed some of the headlines, the Galaxy 7 exploding in the Jeep, That's the top story from the week. Another. Go ahead.

Shall we go into that one first? Yes, let's do that. Let's do that. This is from St. Petersburg, and apparently a young couple went shopping, had their kid in the car, was going after some bargains at the local flea markets and yard sales, came home to unload their bounty. And as they were getting back in with the kid and the dog to take them to Petco, they discovered their Jeep was on fire.

Now, they had left their Galaxy 7 phone charging on the center council there, and it caught on fire, apparently burning up the Jeep completely. Yeah, well, I mean, the phone's been recalled, so, I mean, they should have turned it in. Yeah, but I think this was just before the recall. If I looked at the date of the story, I remember seeing that they had already mentioned that somebody in Australia had like $1,400 worth of damage. to a room, a hotel room that they left their phone in on the charger, and they just started the ban, like, earlier this week. So these stories are, you know, within a week or so of the ban happening.

It's pretty scary when you think about it, because now the FAA is completely banned that model phone from any airplane. Well, first of all, no, the recall happened late last week before. It wasn't late last week. Yes. It was last week because I remember talking about it. And I also know that people should be smart enough to know not to plug it in, and they should have already turned it, turned it in.

It's been recalled because it's the possibility of it catching fire. Here's an idea. Don't plug it in. Stop using that phone. It's a bomb. Yeah. I mean, Samsung has already said they're taking them all back. Most of them, there were millions of them that hadn't even made it to the shelf yet,

that they're just sending back to the shop. Samsung's not had a very good year for all of this. I heard there was some other batteries, issues with different models. Don't start bashing Samsung. Now, I'm a Samsung fan. Get off. I'm a Samsung fan. So don't we start bashing Samsung. I want them as a client.

I love Samsung. We can put a positive spin on this, I'm sure, somehow. So, yeah, and I guess this is probably my favorite story of the week, Jeffie. You can find this one somewhat amusing. A husband whose new wife had a one-night stand with a third stripper gets the shock of his life nine months later. Oh, no. Oh, no. She's at her bachelorette party.

And they have a little person stripper come out for the bachelorette party. That is great. And apparently after the festivities, she had sex with him. And guess what? the child was born nine months later with dwarfism. And the husband was a little surprised to say the least. So I'm sure it just happened once. I mean, absolutely just happened once.

And I'm guessing that the husband, the husband is not a dwarf? It is not, apparently does not have the genes and cannot pass it on. So they're pretty much guaranteeing that this is the stripper dwarf. That's great. I mean, she had to at least come out through it with saying, I've got the gene and don't tell him I don't. I don't know. Apparently, they did this here in Florida somewhere

because they got the story in my newsfeed, but they're back in Spain in the hospital when this happened, so they can't even claim anything that, you know, they, it was a one-night playing somewhere in Spain? No, no, no, no. Welcome to Florida. No, it was definitely a Florida case. First of all, Florida is one of the few places that really enjoys the expertise of entertainment from dwarfs.

We had the first ever case of dwarf tossing, if you remember that back to the night. I do. As a matter of fact, I do. It was a proud moment in the life of Floridians, the dwarf tossing. Although, I, you know, I'm not really that opposed to it. apparently they weren't either because there was a big up arising with the little people saying that they wanted to be able to continue the sport because it was one of their primary sources of income and they were bringing to that. Exactly. They needed the work. Of course, it's also the Florida man with his Facebook profile picture being his mugshot from the Weekly's most wanted photo.

I love that one. He's got to have a little picture, right? Yeah, yeah. It just happens to say wanted for felony warrants of BOP in two counties, case of battery, has his name age, vital statistics. And the Stewart Florida police officers right there is Johnny on the spot, you know, they figured, I think this guy is somebody we need to look into. That is, that can't, that he couldn't have done that himself, right? I mean, are we creating? The officer was, it was surreal. Facebook is a great way to communicate and connect with old friends and family. Corporal Brian Boscio wrote from the Stewart Police Department's Facebook,

if you're wanted by the police, it's probably not a good idea to use the wanted of the week poster of yourself as your profile pick. Yeah, probably not. That's probably a good choice. Yeah, I'm thinking stay away from that. We are getting dumber and dumber. All right, Chuck in Florida, chuckingflora.com. Thank you very much. I appreciate it.

I'll talk to you soon. Thank you for you. Stay weird. Um, he has got to put more bookshelves in his room. Okay? I'm just saying. I know he wants to try to pretend like he's Mr. Clean Guy, Mr. Straighten Up, Mr. I'm going to take care of stuff. But no, I want crap in that room.

Okay? I want crap in that room. I want stuff everywhere from now on. All right. One last story I wanted to tell you about. If you thought that once we have robots, that racism wasn't going to happen? Think again.

Okay? Think again. A beauty contest, judged by AI, guess what the robots? They didn't like dark skin. Oh, no. No! Robots created by the white man!

The first international beauty contest, judged by machines, was supposed to use objective factors. Symmetry and wrinkle. identify the most attractive contestants. 6,000 people from more than 100 countries submitted photos. The artificial intelligence supported by complex algorithms would determine through their faces most closely resembled human beauty.

The creators were dismayed to see there was a glaring factor linking the robots did not like people with dark skin. I can't even read this story anymore. I mean, we need to change the algorithms. All algorithms matter. Okay. That's all I'm saying. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. Hey, this is Jeff Fisher.

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