Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Jeffy's Corner: Pooch's Hoochies - Tinder for dogs

Episode Date: June 27, 2015

Jeff Fisher is live from 6am to 8am ET, Saturday. Listen for free on The Blaze Radio Network: www.theblaze.com/radio & www.iheart.comFollow Jeff at twitter.com/JeffyMRA Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to the Jeff Fisher Show. Don't miss The Morning Blaze with Doc and Skip. Now this from our international file, police in Brazil are searching a worldwide web of evidence in hopes to find a dude who shot a man in an internet cafe. An ombre with a handgun can be seen on a security camera walking into the computer cafe and aiming a gun at the victim's head. The gun jammed and he left before the reality of what was happening could click with the patrons. The Morning Blaze with Doc and Skip.

Weekday morning, 6 to 9 Eastern on the Blaze Radio Network. All right. So my man, Aaron, that works on the show, is all hyped up about this Lexus hoverboard. Have you watched Blaze TV or listen to the Blaze Radio Network Weekdays? You know, we have a program called the Pat and Stu Show, of which I am a part of. We covered the Lexus hoverboard. We watched the video. We talked about it.

Everyone's all hyped up because we want the hovering board so bad. We can't stand it. It was in a movie. It said it would be here in 2015. We've got to make it. You know, okay, Lexus, thanks. It was nice. But look, A, if you watch the promotional video of the Lexus hoverboard, no one gets on it.

It is hovering above the ground, but no one's on it. Also, there's no way that that hovers. like it was hovering. It's built on some, the magnet. I'm only pretending to be a scientist here. Between magnets and, I don't even know what it's called. I should have looked it up when I was talking to him during the break, and it got me thinking about the hoverboard.

I should have looked up the exact what they call it. But you know how trains hover with the magnets and the pressure up above the tracks on some of the fast speed train, speed bullet trains. And the hoverboard looked like it was doing the same thing. So you see the concrete, but in that concrete or underneath it is that metal plate so that the magnets will make it hover and move. We're a long way off before, you know, my kid hops on a hoverboard and hovers to the neighbors. And safety-wise will never have that created to be a major use. We can't even ride a bicycle without putting on a safety suit.

You think you're going to go down the street on a hoverboard without a safety suit? You're dreaming. I've got a hoverboard that hovers four and a half feet. That's against the law. You can only hover two feet. That's legal. Quit hovering that high. If you fall from four feet, you're going to die.

All right. Whatever. Shut up. So the headline of this story. And this is another safety story. This is what's going to happen with the hoverboards. Okay. People are going to go, yeah. When no one's looking, I hover my board, 18 feet off the ground.

I've got super duper capacitor hovers. Yeah. Okay. So you go ahead and do your little silly two feet or less on the hover down the sidewalk, pansy. Okay. I'm over here hovering 18. Got it. Same thing. The headline.

Time smoker, Eddie Van Halen. Guitar picks, magnets gave him cancer. That's not really what he said. Well, what he said? First of all, he's been cancer-free. And he was doing a lot of drugs and everything. But when he, they was talking about having this tongue cancer, they asked him, hey, what do you think?

You're a long-time smoker. What do you think happened? And he said, well, you know, I spent all kinds of time in the studio and I was holding guitar picks, brass and copper guitar picks in my mouth during that time. And those are filled with electromagnetic energy. And, you know, could it give me cancer? Could it give me the tongue, give me a tongue cancer? And that's it. He was just saying it.

He didn't say it actually did it. He was just saying, you know, it's possible. possible. I think that's what I think that's what did it. And he even said, hey, doctors say it's possible, but they don't know. Now it's possible, but they don't know. So that's just his belief. It wasn't that he was saying, you know, I got cancer. I got tongue cancer because I had this metal guitar pick, this magnet guitar pick in my mouth, and I'm going to sue metal guitar pick.com. No, that wasn't all Now, you heard of Tinder. You know what, you know, Tinder, the app, the dating app of Tinder that's used all over the world,

specifically, you know, really well around college campuses and where a lot of you young people preside. I love the Tinder app. And you get to, you know, you put your face on Tinder and you get to date and you get to meet. And it's all in your area. It's all in your local area. And you see the picture and you go, eh, no, and you swipe left. And you go, yes, you swipe right. So you keep them.

Keep the ones you like, get rid of the ones you like. It's all based on looks, all what you like. And then sooner or later, you may, you know, when it's 2 o'clock in the morning, you may end up with Tinder photo number three, who is just three blocks away waiting to hook up with you, become Tinder photo number one. Well, now there's going to be a Tinder app. for your dog.

Oh, how cute. How cute. A Tinder app for dogs. And you know that dog people are just going to eat this up. Eat it up. It's going to be unbelievable. The KFC Lab, we'll just go down some headlines here for you. I love some of these stories that will keep you in the loop.

Water cooler talk for you. Okay. So when you get to work on Monday, you can go, Hey, I know a little bit about that. Take a drink of water, sip your coffee, and say, I can talk to you about the KFC lab. That, you know, they soon said the guy had the deep-fried rat. No.

No, it wasn't. It was just chicken. How about you apologize, you little, orp? But, no, that's not going to happen. Good news for Japan. You can now legally dance in public. Yay. Yeah.

I wondered this why I've talked about it often. I lived in Florida for a long time. Wondered why in the heck. Okay? I could not find drugs washing up on the shore. People found it all the time. I used to look at the beaches and walk the beaches and look for bales of marijuana, packets of cocaine,

rolling up on the shore, nothing. Once again, here we go. A surfboard washes up. Tijuana. A surfboard washes up in Tijuana. A motorized surfboard. Full of meth. A good way to get into the country except

you don't have any control of where it goes when it storms. I'm sure the person that's filling up the hollow motorized surfboard probably did a little bit too much meth. It's just my guess, but I could be wrong.

Well, that never happens to me. never and if you're looking they remember they found the drugs earlier this week and the coconuts big bust full of coconuts i had nothing to do with that we just busted a lady now with the cocaine she had three pounds of liquid cocaine in her uh in her breast implant three pounds of liquid cocaine in her breast implant you go ahead and write your own jokes on that because i've got a whole boy that I've already written. Okay? Yeah.

I got a whole bunch that I've already written. Promise you that. Now, there's some stuff. We talked about the hoverboard and how people want to, you know, they want to have it because it was in back to the future. And it's 2015. And we got to get the hoverboard. The future's here.

The future's here. The future's now. The future's now. We've got to do all this stuff. Well, where's my flying cars? Why can't I have the flying cars? Where's my flying car? How is we going to do it?

Is it going to be safe? we can't even we've got we've got self-driving cars and driverless cars that are close to run and i like that that story where the driverless cars almost hit each other and they didn't they made such a big story about that i guess the good news is they didn't hit each other right i mean that's the whole point so i mean that's the whole point it may have been too close or it may have been not quite right but the application actually worked they didn't hit each other so anyway uh the flying car every time i see a flying car car, I'm thinking, that's not what people

are going to buy. And this latest one, this AeroMobile, the latest one, this AeroMobile, it looks beautiful. And it looks like the best one. It's similar to the original ones that we used to see where you park it in the wings. Come out. It turns into a plane. This one actually looks really

good, and it looks like it does it pretty fast. But it does not look comfortable. You're not going to run down to the store in it. Okay? You're just not. And you still have to go to someplace like, I don't know, an airport to take off. So when you get to a point where you can fly, and they're never going to let these things start flying around the city.

No way. We talked about this before. I think they'll do it outside the cities. You'll get more and more cars like this, so you'll have an opportunity to, you know, maybe a landing strip and a takeoff strip. I'm heading westbound is the takeoff. Eastbound is landing.

you're now into city limits you must land. City limits must land. You cannot fly more than 1,000 feet above land. Hit a pole, your fault. Remember, keep your hands on the guardrails at all times. They'll never let that happen. So, I mean, it looks nice and everything, but it's not really ready for prime time.

However, you make those a little bit cheaper, make them a little bit more comfortable. I believe you'll be seeing more. And it looks like it's a little more airplane-y than automobiles. And by that I mean, you're going to have to... You see the people out on the roads driving automobiles, right? You see those people?

You do not want those people driving and flying that thing. I guarantee you that. And I don't think they could. That's another thing. That's my point. It's really more airplaney than it is automobilly. You can quote me on that too. It's more airplaney than it is automobili.