Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Jeffy's Corner: Say It Again, It Sounds So Good & a Halloween 'Ha-Ha' for the kids

Episode Date: October 31, 2015

Jeff Fisher is live from 6am to 8am ET, Saturday. Listen for free on The Blaze Radio Network: www.theblaze.com/radio & www.iheart.comFollow Jeffy on Twitter: @JeffyMRA &Like Jeffy's Facebook: www.facebook.com/JeffFisherRadio Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to the Jeff Fisher Show. America WK with your host, Andrew WK. It's hard enough just to run your own life than to run everyone's life. And I don't think we should look to these leaders or a stereotypical leader to lead our lives. Ideally, they should protect the conditions which allow us to live freely. America WK, Saturday's 10 a.m. to noon on the Blaze Radio Network. So I'll read you a little story of the future. What the future looks like and how bright it is.

Okay. Okay. One sunny day in January of 2017, an old man approaches the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He speaks to the U.S. Marine Standing Guard and says, I would like to go in and meet with President Obama. The Marine looks at the man and says, sir, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here. The old man says, okay, and walks away.

The following day, the same man approaches the White House and says to the same Marine, I would like to go in and meet with President Obama. The Marine again tells the man, sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here. The man thanks him and again just walks away. The third day, the same man approaches the White House and speaks to the very same U.S. Marine saying, I would like to go in and meet with President Obama. The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looks at the man and says,

Sir, this is the third day in a row you've been here asking to speak to Mr. Obama. I've told you already that Mr. Obama is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand? And the old man looks at the Marine and says, oh, I understand. I just love hearing it. The Marine stabs to attention. Salutes. It says, see you tomorrow, sir.

The future. Maybe just a little bit brighter. Just a little bit brighter. Or maybe not when it turns out that we find out that the police have a spy tool that can indeed record your calls. Eh. And the stingray spy tools. I can record your calls. Don't worry about it.

If you're not doing anything wrong, what's the problem, right? Right. There's no way they could turn anything into what you were talking to your friends about. Right? Right. Right. And this new device, the new coin-sized device, this is a company trying to, they've created this device. It's a coin-sign device.

You put it on your belt for women, and it hooks, it's kind of cool, actually. And I want to believe that it's kind of cool, but I'm trying to think of ways that it's going to be bad, and it is going to be bad if used wrong or someone hacks it. It's a little, I'll read to you exactly what it is, and they're crowdfunding. So, I mean, they're still looking for some money to get it out there. And I'll tweet the story and put it on my Facebook bag. But if the person is attacked, they press the button on what's called Athena. It sends out an alarm.

the company says is louder than a freight train, which is pretty stinking loud, while also transmitting an SOS signal that goes out to the cell phones of friends and family. So you've already got a program to friends and family cell phones. The signal then pinpoints your location and suggests the recipients of the message contact police. Your emergency contacts are sent a link with your distress signal and current location. That's kind of cool, right? I mean, if you're in trouble, you need help, really good to have.

And it'd be good for your, I mean, that's great for children. Now, they're talking about women and being attacked, but it'd be great for kids. If you let your kids go out and about, all the parents that get in trouble for letting their kids walk to the park. Maybe if they had Athena, you could say, oh, something goes wrong. I've got the Athena, and they can push that. Here, push it, Billy. Show them what happens. and let the freight train noise

knock over the health and human services person. But you can help them out. I'll tweet it. They are crowdfunding, and if you believe in the idea, help them out. It'd be good for you.

There's some really cool stuff. It is Halloween. I mean, I don't want to bring you to Halloween. Everybody, there was all kinds of Halloween parties last night, right? I haven't been to one in a long time. I used to go to them a lot years ago. You know, before I passed 75, after I passed 75, the last 25 years I've slowed down to my Halloween partying.

But there's some really cool stuff, and the kids still love it. I mean, I tried and tried to. You talk my kids into, look, we won't go trick-or-treating, okay? But before you say no, hear me out, we'll go and we'll buy 18,000 pounds of candy, and we'll just eat the candy. We'll just stay in the house. we'll close up the house, we'll put a sign on the door, and we'll say, hey, we're out looking for zombies,

we're out trick-or-treating, and we'll leave some candy in a bowl, and then the bowl will be empty, or we'll leave an empty bowl in front of the house and say, we're out trick-or-treating, and people will say, oh, the candy's all gone already in the bowl. No, we never put it in there. It's a helpful hint from meat, by the way. Just put the bowl out, saying, hey, take some. Take candy, we're out trick-or-treating, but you never do put candy in the bowl.

Huh? That's just, you know, that's just coming from someone who wants us all the candy. Anyway, and then we'll go in the back room. We'll watch a movie and we'll be happy. And we don't have to go out. No. We got to go trick and trade you. We don't have to go trick and treat you.

We got to go trick and treat it. We got to get an outfit. We got to go out. Okay. Let's go. But it appears, though, not that I'm crossing my fingers or anything like that, but it appears it could be storming. and raining.

All the weather people have been saying that it's going to stop before trick-or-treat time. And I have a feeling that they may be saying that just because it's kind of like, when you work in radio, some things you just never say. Like you don't want people to be, it's going to storm and you're never going to trick-or-treat. You don't want to say that, right? You want people to think that they're still going to trick-or-treat. And it's good. So it's looking like the possibility that it's going to stop raining before you trick-or-treat.

Which, okay, so if it doesn't, then it's like, okay, well, we were wrong. And it's like when you work in, when you work in FM radio, it's never partly cloudy. It's always partly sunny. Okay. It's never partly cloudy. You never want to bring people down. You're always looking to break people up. It's agonizing, I know.

But I'm, you know, just letting you in on a little tip. So there is a Texas mom that's creating Halloween wheelchair costumes, which is really cool, right? And I just saw a tweet, really. I should have thought of this myself with a house that had old people walkers, and the whole front yard was full of walkers. And there was a sign that said, beware of walkers. Ha? That's a great Walking Dead live.

That's funny. That's really funny. And speaking of Walking Dead, congratulations are in order. Walking Dead and Talking Dead, which means that my podcast with Aaron Hernandez is going to be renewed, talking Walking Dead, is back for a seventh season on AMC. Duh, you think? I mean, come on. First of all, they re-upped the new Walking Dead way too early.

They should have thought about that, and I hope they call me. Call me. And we'll figure out what to do with it for the next 20 episodes, because I know they re-upped it for 20. Maybe we'll get you going in the right direction. But the first six or seven, oh, rough. But the real Walking Dead, this season has been, season six has been great. And you can go to Theblaze.com slash radio, Jeff Fisher's show, download Talking Walking Dead every Monday and find out exactly what happened

and perhaps what to look for in the future on the latest Walking Dead every Monday on The Blaze.com slash radio. Jeff Fisher and Aaron Hernandez, Talking Walking Dead. Anyway, season seven will be back. They just re-upped it on AMC. So I'm sure they've got a few more Englishmen that they're going to give jobs to. I'm amazed at how many of those characters are. Not from America.

But I love them anyway. I love them anyway. And it is Halloween. We've had stories all over the country about people eating their friends and being mad at them and starting to eat people. We had the fun house. I think it was in New Orleans, but it might have been Florida. I can't remember. We had the fun house where the guy was gnawing some kid,

starting to eat some kid, and they thought it was part. A few people walked by thinking it was part of the fun house. First of all, the picture, if the picture of the story was the fun house, you should not have gone in there. But second, if it was, then it deserves to happen. But one father was walking his kid through and said, I heard the scream and that was not a, you know, that was not a fake funhouse scream of world.

That was a scream of actual horror. And, you know, he rescued the kid had some, you know, skin and trouble. Who's doing, stop it? Okay. I know there's vampires and everything, but there's no point if you, unless you're on bath salts and you're thinking, I'm out of my mind. I don't know what I'm doing. I've got to eat people.

Stop it. Okay. My gosh. It's agonizing. Now, I know some of you want the joke of the week. You're asking me for the joke of the week. I gave you the little President Obama story as kind of a joke you can use with your friends. But I'll give you the kids joke, the Halloween's kid's joke of the week that my kids gave me, I don't know, a couple nights ago at the dinner table.

Okay? You ready? You can use it. You're welcome. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? Because they had spare ribs. You're listening to the Jeff Fisher Show. The Blaze Radio Network.

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It's going to be a winning door. You're going to get tired of winning. This door is going to be so winning. You're going to get tired of it. It'll be tired of the door because it wins so often. It's a winning door. It's a winning, terrific, special, terrific, phenomenal door. Pat and Stu, weekdays at 5 p.m. Eastern on the Blaze Radio Network.