Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Jeffy's Corner: Turkey Drop

Episode Date: October 17, 2015

Jeff Fisher is live from 6am to 8am ET, Saturday. Listen for free on The Blaze Radio Network: www.theblaze.com/radio & www.iheart.comFollow Jeffy on Twitter @JeffyMRA Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to the Jeff Fisher Show. Hey, it's Glenn, and I want to remind you, peace of mind is tough to come by these days unless you have a Liberty Safe. With a Liberty Safe, you won't worry when you leave the house because you'll know your valuables are protected. And right now, you can get free delivery to your home on any Liberty Safe. Go to LibertySafe.com for factory direct pricing. LibertySafe.com made in the USA lifetime warranty and peace of mind. LibertySafe.com. We did get a tweet from Vecker Fitzfrances.

and they want to know if asking of course for the nephew. If I, you know, I started this thing about, you know, jokes. I mean, there's always jokes asking me if I'm going to have more jokes today. I mean, there's always a joke to get you through the day, right? I mean, sadly, last night we were going out to dinner and we're driving to the restaurant. and my son and my daughter and my wife and our we're trying to come up with the we're writing our own jokes

about the skeleton skeleton jokes you know it's almost Halloween and we've got some great Halloween stuff coming up later in the show but I'll give you a let's see why did the skeleton cross the road because he had a bone to pick with a chicken thank you there you go that's an easy there's a kid joke for you with the skeleton okay

So sad. So sad. So sad. So we're talking a little bit about breaking up with things. And I know. I say goodbye to cable TV. It's a sad day. It'll be, you know, I'll get over it. I was ready to say goodbye. There's really, we had, I sat down.

I mean, my kids are really the ones that are, but dad. But dad, we, no, that's okay. We got all, there's still plenty of things to watch. It's okay. I know, Dad, but... No, son. It's okay. We got 8,000 things over there in that cabinet right over there called DVDs.

You can watch those. And there's other channels that we subscribe to. It'll be okay. I know, Dad, but no, it's okay. So I've got withdrawal symptoms going on with the children. But I really, it's okay. Look, I tried to explain. to them, look, we pay $8 million a month.

I thought it was a little steep, but that's what we were paying. So I'm saving $8 million a month now. I mean, and I'm still in the red. I'm not sure how that works. There were, look at how many, I tried to explain to them, look at how many channels we had on the cable box. Okay, we had, I don't know, seriously, I really don't know how many channels. There were like a thousand. and maybe two or 300 were maybe pay-per-view channels.

So we'll say 800 channels, okay? I'll even give you 700, but there was more than that. I think it was pretty close to 800 total. And I asked him to tell me, you know, what channels you watched. And there were maybe three or four. And that's the same with all of us. Why the hell am I paying for these 800 channels when I'm only watching three or four. The heck with it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. It's agonizing. It's a waste of money.

And I love TV. I'm a huge fan of television. Always have been. Love it. And will I miss being able to sit down and scroll through 800 channels and say that there's nothing on and maybe see something stupid and watch something stupid? Yeah. Yeah, I will. But it'll be okay. It'll be all right. on. We'll go through the withdrawal symptoms will be over about mid-next week with the children. They'll all be okay. We'll all be okay. But then I see a story that talks about November, just around the corner, by the way, the highest rate of breakups among couples in November.

Do you know that? It marks the annual, and they haven't even have a little name for it called the Turkey Drop. Breakup rates spike as an unhappy couple split to avoid spending the holidays together and throwing away money on expensive gifts. Yeah. Or sending the wrong message about their intentions. I'll just be together until the holidays are over. Then we'll break up. But we were together during the holidays.

Look, anytime you have a breakup, it sucks. I've been through a divorce. It's not fun. and I mean with this this tip talking about November is talking about a new book that's coming out sometime soon about all these the worst breakups in history and it'll probably be a you know it'll probably be a cute read it'll be fun I'll browse through it check out some of the worst breakups of history

see what some of these people did you know they probably cut off the head of their lover stab them, whatever. There's all kinds of stories of huge, terrible breakups. And my divorce was probably one of the better ones. I mean, we got along, and it still is so hard. I mean, I understand how hard it is. So to be coming up on the holidays, I don't know what's worse.

Coming up on the holidays and saying, I can't do this. We need to break up and have a nice day. So I don't know what's worth getting the axe prior to the holidays or making it through the holidays and then getting the axe. I'm guessing probably through the holidays and then getting the X because if you're working up to getting the axe, you know it. You know your relationship is on the rocks. So to fake it all through the holidays is got to be worse than.

and not faking it and just having the axe already, just being done with it. Right? And you know that your spouse is already, if you're on the verge, are you cheating on your spouse? And what constitutes cheating? Looking around or actually acting on it?

You know, there's always excuses. My husband was abusive and I needed comfort. Uh-huh. We began to resent each other. just didn't like each other anymore. I was bored and unhappy. I had to cheat on her. And it's more probably, you know,

it's him and her, cheating on each other. My husband was a workaholic. Damn him. He was unfaithful first. So doggone it. I'm going to cheat on him too. That's just the way it is.

Those are like the top five. Reason why people said they cheated on their spouse. Agonizing. So if you're having a rough time, November's your month. Bring down the hatchet. November's your month. Great stories.

A couple of subway stories. One story started out last week where a woman said they claimed locked herself in the subway toilet for a couple of hours. And she was smoking what they call synthetic marijuana. And then she came out of the bathroom naked and just trashed the restaurant in a violent rampage. Some of the pictures are great. Why am I not at these subway stores when this happens? When's the last time we've been to a subway, Jeff? I don't know.

It's been quite a while. But I've never at the one where this naked lady is running through, trashing everything stoned out of her mind. There's another story from Subway where they took a picture and some guy apparently found a rat or a mouse in his sandwich in the salads. I find that very, very hard to believe. you watch them make the sandwich right in front of you. So you would, I mean, I don't think that that is true.

We'll be hard-pressed. I mean, we'll find out here in a little while whether it was true or not. You saw the picture. There was a picture of the lettuce on what looked like a sandwich, and then there was a little mouse in the salad in the lettuce of the sandwich. But I don't think so. all the subway people wear their little plastic gloves and they've got the you know they've got the spit glass in front of you so you're watching them make the sandwich i mean i just i find

that hard to believe that that actually happened but again another subway story right another great subway story and there was another story out of um where was it gosh darn it It was at a Target store. I don't remember what city it was in. Oh, here's the story right here. It was in California. Now, if you're walking around Target, first of all, and I have been in a target a number of times over the last year, and this never happens when I'm in the store. And I want to know why.

Because I would love to be in the store when this happens. So they show the video I'm not going to play the audio from the video But people are walking around Target And somebody starts recording from their phone Because over the intercom At this Target store Audio from a porn movie

Starts playing And it's Now look Do you watch your kids? No People are freaking out In the video people are freaking out They drop their stuff and they're running out of the store and stuff.

Okay, come on. And the story talks about people were offering to cover up my children's ears and running around everything and picking up phones. It went on for about two minutes and then it started up again. I mean, I would love to be at that Target store. That would have been fun. That would have been fun. I don't know that I would have loved it so much if the kids are with you

because it's pretty descriptive, the audio. But it's really funny to see some of the reactions of the quick video. And it's not that long of a video. I'll tweet it here in a little bit at Jeff EMRA. But it would be fun to be a part of it. because the reaction of people are a little over the top. I got you. It's audio from a porn movie.

I got it. Okay. Make up a story to your kids. I don't know what that is. Then take them over and let them look at something on a shelf. Okay? Chill a little bit. All right?

I don't know what's going on. Somebody plugged in a TV to the overhead speaker. they're playing some god-awful movie. Let's take it easy, okay? I'll start freaking out. I have a feeling. It's just a gut feeling on my part. Target isn't the one guilty, okay?

I don't think Target is going out of their way to put up porn audio over their PA system. Okay? It's just unbelievable the overreaction of people. But, again, I want to know. why this stuff never happens when I'm in the store. You're listening to the Jeff Fisher Show. The Blaze Radio Network.

Russia, Iran, Cuba. The Obama way is buy them off, placate them. And now they're all joining forces in Syria to fight against our interests, to fight against the rebels that we've half-heartedly backed to create their own reality in that country. Other countries, other allies, and other enemies will see this and say, The U.S. is now totally unsurious, cannot be trusted. Buck Sexton. Weekdays, noon to 3 p.m. Eastern on the Blaze Radio Network.