Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Jeffy's Corner: Uber Puker

Episode Date: March 16, 2016

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Another very sad day for New York, New York workers. All of you people who work in New York, especially the people who work, I don't know, at this network in NYC. All were trying to find ways not to have to come into work next week. Oh, I can't get to work. New Jersey Transit is on this. I'll have to actually drive my own car. I'll have to walk. I'll have to ride my bike.

I'll have to take a cab. I can't do that. New Jersey Transit sounds like a strike. No. The deal has been struck. There's going to be no strike. So no excuses. Back to work in NYC for all of you people using New Jersey Transit.

Sorry. Deal's done. Okay. No strike. So. Sorry. This story fascinates me. We talked about it when it first happened.

The Russian press minister and aide to Vladimir Putin, who was found dead in Washington, D.C. Remember last November? And they're saying, remember they said he died of a heart attack? And then they said that there were possible ladies of the evening there. And they didn't know what he was doing in Washington, D.C. Nobody knew he was there. And, you know, we found out that he had some homes here in the U.S. And he was, you know, he was Vlad's right-hand guy there for a long time.

And he set up a lot of stuff for the Soviet Union. He was a big player. Mikhail Leicen. Well, he didn't die of a heart attack. Okay. He died of blunt force injuries. The medical examiner said. He died as a result of blunt, blunt force injuries to his head with other contributing causes listed as a blunt force injury to his neck, torso, upper extremities, and lower extremities.

Under the entry for manner of death, the medical examiner wrote, undetermined. it had to determine because he got his butt kicked. Somebody beat the life out of him, literally beat the life out of him. So whatever he was into, shouldn't have been into it. Okay. And I sneak in and out of the U.S. There is a little Washington DuPont Circle hotel. No.

Sorry. So they're just waiting for clarification. I was going to be fascinating to see what happens, if anything happens about this. Nothing happens then, you know, it was all inside stuff, and this probably shouldn't have been reported, and they should have just left it as a heart attack. I'm surprised that the medical examiner, why would they be, why do they care? I can say anything. And today, he goes, yeah, he was beat up. I know, we said he had a heart attack before, but we were wrong.

So, we lied. So what are you going to do? Exactly. Nothing. So it'll be fascinating to see what comes of that. if anything, because I don't know. I don't know. We talked to David Pogue earlier last half hour in this broadcast,

and he talked about how he thought the driverless cars were going to be so huge, and the driverless Uber cars were going to be so huge. A, I saw an ad for the new Volvo that can take you from driverless to manual. Looks really cool. Yes. I want one, please. And Volvo, if you'd like to deliver one here to the Mercury Studios to me, I'd be happy to be a spokesman for you and let everyone know how great your automobile

and all other Volvo automobiles are just for dropping one off here at the Mercury Studios in Dallas, Texas. It'd be great. But there is news that Uber drivers, a little bit different than the driverless Uber's. I know where you just, you know, you show up with the computer car. but there is news that the Uber drivers are putting down fake vomit and taking pictures and then charging people. So apparently you don't make any money as an Uber driver, or at least, you know, I know Uber claims you do, but I just got done talking to someone not long ago who said that the money doesn't work out.

It doesn't happen. All right, the deal isn't quite right on how they work out the payments. So the way they make money is if something has to be cleaned, right? Then they charge whoever was made dirty extra money. So she, he used fake vomit and charged her $200 cleaning fees. Now there's another guy that's been charged $100 fake cleaning fees. And a couple people have been charged $200. Now, the one picture is amazing because they claim,

and they got their money back, but the picture is of vomit in the Uber car and saying, hey, you know, I've got to get, this is my, this is what we're charging you for, the extra 200 bucks. That money goes directly to the driver. So some of the drivers have found out, hey, I can just say they needed to fix it and I get that extra money. The picture is the vomit up front, which is. And one of the pictures was from a, um, was from a, um, stolen from another picture. Wasn't even his car. He showed a picture from a couple years ago from a ride-sharing website.

And then the one vomit was in the front. They said, well, we only ride in the back. So how is it possible that I puked in the front? So just be careful with your little Uber drivers, and you may think about remembering exactly when you got off, what you got off. All those people got their money back. but I don't know if other people, you know, how many are down the line for Uber saying,

hey, we had to clean the car, and it's your fault, and we charged your account. Sorry, the way it goes. And we talked a little bit about robots and how they are going to help us, are they? Ray Kurzweil, you know, the American inventor who Googles Guy, the futurist. When I talk about computers reaching human levels of intelligence, I'm not talking about logical intelligence. Okay? It is being funny and expressing a loving sentiment.

That's the cutting edge of human intelligence. Wow. We're going to combine with that intelligence. How cell-sized nanobots in our brains will connect us to the global internet and let us download skills matrix style. We'll also edit genes like computer code to cure diseases. That's what's coming. Wow.

Are you ready for that? Are you ready for that? We're going to combine with that intelligence. Okay, cell-sized nanobots in your brain. Connect to global internet, and you can download all your skills. That is kind of cool. And we also talked with David Pogue about the drones and how the newer drones won't crash.

They can fly. And if you try to fly them into a wall or something, they won't. They'll just stop. They're not going to crash. Well, it's come to our attention now that the Pentagon has been using these drone swarms. They experimented with the new secret prototypes, microdrones that launch from the flare dispensers of the F-16s and the F-18 fighter jets. The canisters containing the tiny aircraft descended from the jets that are on parachutes

before they break open, and then they allow the wings of each drone to swing out and catch the wind. Inch-wide propellers on the back provided propulsion as they found one another and created a swarm, a swarm of micro drones. It was run by the Strategic Capabilities Office to figure out how best to counter-growing strategic threats from China and Russia. Of course, the specifics of what the mini-drones can do are classified,

but they could be used to confuse enemy forces and carry out surveillance missions using equipment that costs much less than full-size on-manned aircraft. Yes, and they would... never be used against American citizens, ever. Team of scientists have demonstrated that a computer can outperform human judges in predicting who will commit a violent crime. Yay!

The technology could potentially spare victims from being injured. Oh, oh, good. Good, good, good. They could potentially spare victims from being injured or even killed. It could also keep the least dangerous offenders from going to jail unnecessarily. And yet there's something unnerving about using machines to decide what could happen to people, you think? Now let's talk about that for a second. It could also keep the least dangerous offenders from going to jail unnecessarily.

So we see, oh, you are going to commit a crime. we think you're going to commit a crime. Okay, we're going to put you over here so you don't commit that crime. No, we're not calling that prison. If you committed a crime, we'd put you on the other side of the hallway. That would be prison. But since we're trying to stop you from committing a crime so you don't go to that side of the hall, we're going to keep you over on this side of the hall so you don't commit the crime.

That's still prison. Unbelievable. They're going another, using vast data sets to identify individuals, who are criminally inclined. Yep, that's exactly what they're doing. A system called Beware, for example, is capable of raiding citizens. Oh, good.

We're testing it in Fresno, California. As posing a high, medium, or low level of threat. Good. Press accounts say the system amasses data. We talked about this system, actually, and it's in Fresno, and there's two other cities, I think, in the U.S., right? One of the creators of that system,

the University of Pennsylvania statistician Richard Burke, He only works with publicly available data. Of course you do, Richard. We would never think that you would get data that's not public. Oh, we're not stupid, Richard. The system isn't scooping up and crunching data on ordinary citizens. No. But it's making the same forecast that judges or police officers previously had to make

when it came to decide whether to detain or release a suspect. that's not really true. That sounds good, but that can't be true. Because the police officers out on the street and sees little Joey looking, walking down the sidewalk, looking like he doesn't know what he's doing, or he's looking for some trouble and can stop and say, what are you doing, Joey?

Why don't you go home? The computer would see, picks Joe. Joey could possibly commit a crime. Joe, you're not allowed to go out tonight. You could possibly commit a crime. That's different. And Joey might decide not to commit that crime. He may be leaning, he may be walking down the street thinking, you know, I would really like the rob from that house. I'm going to rob from that house. The computer would say, stop him, right? Put him over on that side of the hall. We can't put him in prison, of course, because he didn't commit the crime. But we can put him in the

could commit a crime cell. But in real life, you may decide, no, you know what, I'm not going to commit that crime. And he would think that he's not going to commit that crime because he saw, oh, I don't know, the real live police officer parked down the street. Or he got, he looked and he saw the lady walking into the house that he was thinking about robbing and said,

oh, my gosh, she's a friend of my mom's. I can't do that. Any number of things could have happened. It's amazing. amazing. What is coming? And yet, we're still protesting, right? We're protesting because the world is on fire.

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