Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Just your average 'Modern Man' living in a #SelfieWorld 10/3/15

Episode Date: October 3, 2015

Today on The Jeff Fisher, Jeffy explains why you should avoid the guy selling deeply discounted mini-ipads in the parking lot and cheers on a kayak crazed bear. Jeffy also reveals how you can cash in on other peoples laziness & predict petty crimes. Plus, stupid criminals, fashion fiascos, partying with the Vice President and so much more! Jeff Fisher is live from 6am to 8am ET, Saturday. Listen for free on The Blaze Radio Network:www.theblaze.com/radio & www.iheart.comFollow Jeffy on Twitter @JeffyMRA Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the Blaze Radio on demand. Matt Walsh. Harley Fiorina performed well. In the debate, her closing statement, was compelling. Her answer on Planned Parenthood was stirring. Her comeback to Donald Trump's comment about her face was smart. She made Donald Trump look like an imbecile, but of course that's not a difficult thing to do. She had good answers on things.

I'm still very hesitant about her track record ideologically and because of her business track record. Matt Walsh. Available on demand anytime at the blaze.com slash radio. The experiment was a success. Begin life force reboot program. Now. Stand clear. Signs stable.

It's alive. Set it loose. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. Hello. How are you? Welcome to the broadcast. Well, you know, there's so much every week to get to. We might as well just kick it off with, you know,

the utopia of the anti-gun faction in America was the UCC campus in Oregon. There was a gun-free zone. Security guard, unarmed with Mace. One person showed up, broke the no-gun zone rule, and horrifically killed nine people. One gun, one gun other than the killers could have stopped him and saved lives. To quote, Bill O'Reilly, you don't even mention the carnage in Chicago speaking of our president as he spoke and, of course, hawked his, we have to get rid of the Second Amendment.

You mentioned the individual things like what happened in Oregon, but Chicago, it doesn't even exist. Bill then spoke on the issue of individual gun ownership, saying that police are a reactive force and that citizens should be allowed to arm themselves. I have a right to protect myself because there are crazed animals like the guy in Oregon. There are people like that who will come after innocent people for no reason, and you're going to deny me protection? If I live in rural Oregon where the nearest cop is 40 miles away, I can't have a gun to protect my family? Great sense. One man, one man stood up to the crazy man killing Christians.

Chris Mintz. I wonder if he'll be invited to the White House. I mean, it may have already happened, right? Right. Abortion's still on the table. No pun intended. the House, battles going on in Washington, D.C. War in the Middle East.

Yes, more war in the Middle East, and it's getting worse. Russia making a statement saying they're going to take it over. Perhaps it's making more sense now when our president told the ambassador, just tell Vladimir I'll have more leeway after the election. We know now millions without jobs. it does appear almost every day that we are on a path of being doomed, heading to Doomedon. There's no doubt about that. And I'm sure throughout the day here on the Blaze Radio Network, you're going to hear more of how we are on that path of being doomed.

Hurricane Joqueen, Joquin, Joaquin, Joaquin, joaquin, joaquin. And the cone of death has moved farther east. so it looks like the East Coast is going to be spared. The East Coast of the United States, Bahamas got hammered. And we still have the big storm. I know they have the big storm pushing across the country. So there's plenty of rain and flooding. That's why they were so worried about the hurricane

because it was going to cause more water and more flooding. But the hurricane played along and just started moving east, which is good news. But we do have good news, at least in the... DFW area. Bluebell ice cream will be entering phase two on November 2nd, 2015.

It means the Dallas Fort Worth area of which we are a part of here at the Mercury Broadcast Center. We'll be getting Bluebell ice cream back on the shelves. Yay!

Those of you that don't have Bluebell Ice Cream, cream in your area, you know, sorry. Not my fault. You should move to where it is. Bluebell will be expanding in the next few years, but you should just move to where it is. I never forget when they first moved to Florida and you're like, okay, Bluebell, that's great, thank you. And they were such good ambassadors of their product. And they really turned people onto their product. And it's, I'm looking forward to

hopefully having a little bluebell here at the Mercury Studios when they enter phase two. No question about that. 88800-9033 is the phone number. If you want to participate, you can always tweet me, Jeffrey, MRA. You can Facebook me, Jeff Fisher Radio. I've got a tweet from Ebola Outbreakmap.com. Hey, Jeffrey, are you going to mention the 30,000 West African refugees

that arrived at U.S. airports? over 40 had Ebola symptoms. Now, I hadn't planned on it. Tweet from at Vecca Fitzfrancis. Looking forward to more silly jokes to tell my four-year-old nephew, I've got one for you today. Okay, my son came downstairs last night with his new joke. He's upstairs.

He's writing jokes. I think he's a comedian? His new joke from last night. Hey, Dad, what do you call a lion making copies? A copy cat. Thank you. Thank you very much. And the headlines, I love, if you go to the blaze.com, it was a fantastic quote from Mike Rowe on our very own Irving, Texas, clockmaker.

Ahmed Mohammed. It's amazing. that Americans don't even know what a bomb looks like anymore. Sad, sad, sad. And if you look across the headlines of the blaze, I mean, it's amazing, amazing how, I don't want to say dumb, but how strange we are as Americans today. You've got the shooters, you've got the Jeopardy contestants

that react to the question about American snipers. No idea. No idea who Chris Kyle is. Amazing. Perhaps. Perhaps. I don't know this. But perhaps had, I don't know, our administration, someone that heads the administration,

I don't know, like the president, would have thanked him for his servant. and how sad it was that he got, that he was murdered. Perhaps more people would be aware. But it was a big movie, American sniper. You'd think maybe, you know, you're going on jeopardy. You could be aware of it. But apparently not. We have got so much to get to.

I don't even, you know, all this top story news drives me insane. You cover it all week long. You're going to get some, you're going to get some more of it throughout the day and throughout the weekend on the Blaze Radio Network, which is great. That's what we're here for. You've got Michael Pelka coming up after this broadcast, Andrew WK, Chris Salsato, Mike Slater, Joe Pags,

all right here on your Saturday on the Blaze Radio Network. But we've got a lot. There's plenty, plenty of other news and other stories that we need to cover and that you need to be aware of. Because not only will you be talking about the things that I just mentioned around the water cooler on Monday. I'm going to give you some new stuff to talk about. Yeah.

You're welcome. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the breeze radio network. Buck Sexton. You've got the Turks bombing the Kurds. You've got the Russians bombing the Free Syrian Army. You've got the U.S. bombing ISIS. You've got Jordan bombing ISIS, or at least they were for the water, while, the George just, it's not going to happen.

We're not going to be a major part of this air campaign, because we're not even sure we should have a major air campaign. The Russians, however, are shorts. Buck Sexton, weekdays, noon to 2 a 2 a.m. Eastern on the Blaze Radio Network. The Jeff Fisher Show. Welcome to it. 888-90-33 is the phone number. So, thank you so much for coming along for the ride today.

You can always tweet me, Jeff E, MRA. or Facebook me, Jeff Fisher Radio. I was leading back, watched a little TV earlier this week, and I forget what stupid show I was watching. But a commercial came out, and it's

a commercial I hadn't seen before. It's shows of, and it's, it looked kind of bougie, but it was talking about sleep, and I was like, oh, okay. And so, instead of fast forwarding through my DVR, I watched it because I

I'm a freak that way. And the entire thing is unbelievable. So I'm going to play it for you, and then we'll talk about if it really works for you or not. Sleep. Remember when it welcomed you like a friend? Then they became more elusive. But why?

When you have insomnia, it may affect the wake nerve. transmitters in your brain, disrupting your wake and sleep messages. Balsamra is a prescription medicine for adults who have trouble falling or staying asleep. Balsamra is thought to help turn down wake messages by targeting and inhibiting the action of orexin, a neurotransmitter that plays a central role in sending wake messages. Only Belsomer works this way. Do not take balsamra if you have narcolepsy. When taking balsamra, don't drive or operate, have you.

machinery until you feel fully awake. Wait. Walking, eating, driving, or engaging in other activities while asleep without remembering it the next day have been reported. Wait, what? Balsamra should not be taken together with alcohol. Okay. Abnormal behaviors may include aggressiveness, confusion, agitation, or hallucinations.

Wait. The temporary inability to move while falling asleep or waking up and temporary leg weakness have also been reported. Wait. In depressed patients, worsening depression including risk of suicide may occur. What? Alcohol may increase these risks. You already suck.

Sign effects include next day drowsiness. Wait. Oh, but it's perfect. Ah, sleep. Ask your doctor about Belsanra. Come on now. Come on. Are we seriously?

Are you seriously telling me that we've got products that are like that and we're going to run this disclaimer like that and you're going to say to yourself, that's a product I want? Do not take Belsamara if you have not. narcolepsy. Don't drive or operate heavy machinery until fully awake. Walking, eating, driving, or other activities well asleep without remembering it the next day have been reported. Should not be taken together with alcohol. Okay, I mean, I give them that one. Abnormal behavior may include aggression, confusion, agitation, hallucinations. Huh. Temporary inability to move while falling asleep

or waking up or temporary leg weakness have been reported. Huh. In depressed patients, worsening depression including risk of suicide may occur. Alcohol may increase these risks. You've already told us not to be taken with alcohol. Side effects include neckday drowsiness. Yeah, it's a sleep pill. That is unbelievable. Now, do disclaimers really work?

I don't know. I guess sometimes I think they're kind of silly. But other times I'm thinking with a product, I don't know, like, I don't know, Belsamara. that's a sleep medication. And yet we're saying, hey, it's a sleep medication, but really, don't forget about this. Do not take balsamra if you have narcolepsy.

When taking balsamra, don't drive or operate heavy machinery until you feel fully awake. Walking, eating, driving, or engaging in other activities while asleep, Without remembering it the next day, have been reported. Balsamra should not be taken together with alcohol. Abnormal behaviors may include aggressiveness, confusion, agitation, or hallucinations. The temporary inability to move while falling asleep or waking up and temporary leg weakness have also been reported. In depressed patients, worsening depression including risk of suicide may occur.

Alcohol may increase these risks. Side effects include next day drowsiness. Unbelievable. makes me want to take that medication. Ah, sleep. Ask your doctor about Belsanra. I mean, maybe we just say, you know, make sure you talk to your physician. That'd be a wonderful thing.

Now, maybe everything needs a, maybe everything needs a disclaimer. side effects include headache, nausea, vomiting, death, dizziness, dysentery, cardiac arrhythmia, mild heart explosions, varicose veins, darkenstool, darken soul, may cause vomiting, hemorrhoids, diabetes. I mean, mild discomfort. We can go on and on and on, maybe they all just have the massive disclaimers on everything, but I cannot believe that... Oh, I can't sleep. I know, I know, I know I might be able to not move my legs when I lay down after I take it,

or my legs will be weak and I'll stand up and fall down when I get up to go to the bathroom. But I still want it. I still want to take it. It's okay. You know, I drive a bulldozer every day. I'm going to take Belisomra and just drive it myself. It drives me crazy. I just, I'm sorry, but that disclaimer.

or just be crazy. Now, last night, I see a story about a lady who has a bear in Alaska eating her kayak. And I'm thinking, okay, well, you're filming it

for one thing. Perhaps you should put the camera or phone down, which no one does in today's world, and we'll get to that a little bit later on in the show. But you're hollering at the bear. When you watch and listen to the video, and I'm going to play some of this audio, I don't know that I can take the whole two minutes

because she is agonizing. But she gets the bear's attention and the bear leaves the kayak alone, okay? And starts kind of wandering up toward her. So instead of, saying go on now get out of here she pepper sprays it now she pepper sprays the bear now if pretend you're the bear for a second all right i left your kayak alone i'm going to wander around i'm going to come up here and check you out then i'm going to get out of here you're welcome

and then you're going to pepper spray me okay that's enough i'm not doing you any more favors Let's take a listen to this and see if I can take the very much of it. See? I'm going to pepper spray you in the gate. See, he's wandering up toward her. Oh, no. Oh, see, there it is. Pepper sprays the bear.

The bear is like, what the hell? He's like, I'm a, all right. That's it. No, I'm not going away. Get away from the kayak. No, you pepper sprayed me. Get away from that kayak. You pepper sprayed me, bitch.

I am. Plus you're annoying. If I'm the bear, all right, pause this for just a second. Okay. If I'm the bear right about now, I'm thinking, okay, I can't take her much longer. All right.

What I should do is stop eating this kayak for a second and get rid of her. And then go back to the kayak. Let's see if he does. Bear! Bear! Has you pepper sprayed me! Has you pepper sprayed?

Oh, my God. No one would bring this bear down if you mauled her right now Oh, she's going to cry now Oh no I was her wandering around That's great I am all for this bear You know she's stuck in Alaska

I hope she had to swim in that freezing water I can't take it because the bear doesn't stop it Good for him I'd please shut her off I can't take it Very disappointed that the bear just didn't end her right there Very disappointing Anyway, Bear, good for you. Good for you, Bear.

I'm not joking. The Jeff Fisher Show, a blaze radio network. The Jeff Fisher Show is on. That it is. 888-90-33-93 is the phone number. You can dial that number at any time. You may not reach this program, but you can dial it at any time. 6 to 8 a.m. Eastern, you can reach this.

program with that phone number. And then Michael Pelka, Andrew W.K, Chris El Sato, Mike Slater, Joe Pags, all today on the Blaze Radio Network. I saw Michael Pelka tweeted his little holiday stamp possibilities for his

show. And that would be a nice little thing to have the Merry Christmas, Pure O'Pelka stunt brain stamps you know, to give away. I was more, you know, thinking about maybe, you know, I, you I don't know what he's giving away today.

Apparently we're not, we can't give stamps away, right? Unless, I mean, how much budget does that show have? If he's got a budget to give away stamps, I need to rethink, rethink my deal. Wait, I have a deal? No, I don't. Let's talk about crime, shall we? Crime in America. Sometimes crime makes you think, you know, if people are that stupid, maybe the crime is worth doing.

No? Okay. So, how many of you want an iPad mini? Yeah, I mean, everybody wants a little iPad mini now and that, right? Of course you do. Yeah, I let the kids play with it, having it around the house, put some music on it, goof off, put a little games on it, goof off with the kids on it. You know you like them. Maybe take it to the gym. I mean, I'm not taking it to the gym. There's no way I'm taking it to the gym. I saw it. As a side note, I saw a posted note on Facebook. It may have been on my Jeff Fisher radio page. But someone had posted, if I'm found on a jogging trail,

know that I've been murdered somewhere else and dumped here. So if I'm found in a gym, know that I was murdered somewhere else and dumped there. But anyway, everybody wants a little iPad mini. So this lady sees a guy in a parking lot. And he says, hey, hey, come here. How would you like an iPad Mini? And she says, yeah, that'd be great. I've got one here for 150 bucks I'll sell you.

Oh, no. I know, look, I can't, I can't spend that. But I can give you $80. $80 for an iPad Mini, you're killing me. I've got to get rid of these, though. I need some money. I've got these in my back of my car. All right.

All right, fine. 80 bucks. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Here's your $80. Goodbye. Thank you for the box with the iPad Mini. Can't wait until I open it and find that wrapped in the bubble wrap inside the box is a piece of tile.

Yeah, not an iPad Mini. Just a piece of tile that you haggled him down to $80 for. Okay. A couple things. you got to give the guy credit, right? I mean, come on. He's selling iPad minis. It's a piece of tile.

Love it. I don't know where he's getting the boxes from. You know, perhaps, you know, he needed a couple extra bucks. So, you know, he buys one. The kids' family needs one. He takes the boxes. Good reason not to throw out boxes, though. Now, another thing is perhaps if someone comes up to you in a parking lot and says,

hey, want to buy an iPad mini for, you know, a couple hundred dollars under retail? A, it's either tile. It's either tile from the bathroom. Or B, it's really is an iPad mini that was stolen and you're buying stolen property. Right? Right. So perhaps if someone comes up to you in a parking lot and says, Hey

Want to buy an iPad Mini You can say No thank you Have a nice day Good luck I know but I really need the money And I can give you a really good deal

No thank you Have a good day I know but I've got this iPad mini in my car Listen I've got some iPads and Xbox ones And some TV box TV in the back of my car. I'll give me some really good price on. I really need the cash.

No, thank you. How about 80 bucks? Oh, okay. I'll give you 80 bucks for the iPad mini box that's got a piece of tile in it. Unbelievable. And then we have the lady who calls 911. And she is upset.

Fort Myers, Florida. Fort Myers, Florida. Beautiful. Right? West Coast of Florida. Gorgeous. She feels that she was shorted on product that she purchased. And she's upset about it.

Okay. Now, she felt that she bought $75 worth of product, which happened to be marijuana and was shorted, and she was pissed. So she called 911. dumb. Okay, perhaps you're smoking a little bit too much pot during the day. Okay?

Just perhaps you're, you're smoking a little bit too much pot. Now, the police came. The dealer, who she claimed showed at her, had no product, nothing on him. So he wasn't arrested. He's fine. He's like, I don't know what she's talking about. The bag of weed that she claimed she bought from the dealer that was shorted to her was stuffed in the seat with her car, which got arrested since it's illegal.

When you call 911 over a drug deal that you think's gone bad, perhaps you need to lay off the drugs. It's a possibility that you need to... This story is not... I mean, they don't claim it's under crime. I think it is. I think it was a crime. So this lady shows up in the hospital

and everybody's got the big joke about her moose steak because she's got her hair is full of builder's foam and they claim that this lady mixed up hair moose with this builder's foam

and this builder's foam is all stuck to her hair and it's got it down the side of her shirt and I'm thinking you know okay yeah I got it are you that dumb to put the builder's foam in your hair thinking it's moose, it's possible.

Definite possibility. However, when looking at the top of the builder's foam, there's twigs and leaves and everything else in it. So I'm thinking that there may be more to the story, which leads me to it's probably a crime. She could have been in a part of something and then been attacked with builder's foam in her hair. And that, my friends, is a crime.

One of the things we have to look forward to, though, is that Hatachi, the Japanese tech giant, they believe they've developed new technology that can pinpoint where and when a crime will occur. Yay! Real Life Minority Report! I love it! The system called Haitashi Visualization Predictive Crime Analytics. And seriously, I mean, Hitachi Visualization, predictive crime analytics,

gobbles massive amounts of data from public transit maps, social media conversations, weather reports, and more. And uses machines learning to find patterns that humans can't pay. kick out. A human just can't handle when you get to the tens of hundreds of variables that can impact crime, said Darren Lipscomb, an executive in Hitachi's public safety and visualization division. The police officers usually build crime prediction models based on their personal or collective experience, but Hatashi's system doesn't need anyone to fiddle around with correlations and variable weights, given a heap of data it does by itself. Huh? Yeah. The system can specify potential crime scenes down to a 200 square meter spot and assigns relative threat levels.

Now, it's going to be a trial run that they're putting out there for, you know, separate handful of police departments starting this month. And, you know, of course, we want to know how accurate the system is and is it. Of course, we don't want to know what to profile and target. of course it profiles. That's what it's doing. Now, Atachi says the system may actually reduce the amount of biased police profiling since it equips officers with enough

thorough information that they won't need to act on mere suspicions. Well, it is mere suspicions. It's just mere suspicions put together with all this data and you're saying the likelihood is. But it's still a mere suspicion that the likelihood

is. There's going to be a crime here. But I can't wait for this to be working. And I can't wait. What are you doing standing there? We have no specific information, likelihood that you're going to commit a crime. The threat level is high that you're going to commit a crime.

No, I'm good. I'm just standing here. I've decided not to commit the crime I was thinking about. Do I still get arrested? Soon enough, the answer is probably yes. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. Fisher. So I posted on my Facebook page, Jeff Fisher Radio, a scene at Cape Cod, where rescuers are rescuing this Great White Shark.

Now, I posted this, and the reason I posted it was because of the comment made by the person who originally, who posted it that I read. Of course, the Facebook doesn't post the comment. It just posts the video. So you see these people saving this great white shark who has beached itself and it's either sick or, you know, who knows how it got stuck there. However, the post that I read originally was that, you know, win this great, and then they get it back in the water and they set it free and isn't it a wonderful thing? And the post is talking about someday when a surfboarder is,

chomped from this great white shark, you're going to ask God, why did you let this happen? And God is going to say, I threw him on the beach, you threw him back in, don't ask me. I thought that was quite a lot of sense. In Michigan, a farmer finds woolly mammoth bones. How about that? Huh? Kind of cool. I thought it was a, he's digging up a soil.

field saw something come up and wait a minute that's not a fence post and they brought in people it was a mainly paleontagalist now they brought in all these people and they're digging it up and you can see the footage on the blaze.com they've got about 20% of the mammal we've got the head the tusks the ribs the vertebrae they're saying it died about 10 to 15,000 years ago and they're guessing it was about 40 years old when it died and they're saying that it was likely hunted butchered and then stored in a pond. I mean, that's just a, obviously, just a guess, and they'll take a look at it.

They believe that it is a mammoth that could be a woolly mammoth, or a Jeffersonian mammoth. Right. Of course, it could be a Jeffersonian mammoth. I mean, just by looking at it, it could possibly be that. We'd have to double-check that for sure. But my favorite part of this whole thing is the farmer is like, okay, listen, this is all great and everything.

and I want you guys to get your little woolly mammoth thing here, but I got a soy field and I got to stay on time here. So you got a day. Bringing your stuff, get this thing out of here. You got a day because I got to be back on track. That is an American farmer right there. And from Michigan. Love that.

Now, if you want to talk about what America is all about, you want to talk about capitalism at its finest. This story. Out of New York, this man makes at least $1,000 a week waiting in line. Yes, waiting in lines. Robert Samuel, founder of the business, same old line dudes, claims he makes a thousand a week by holding places in lines for product releases, sample sales, Broadway shows, Saturday Night Live tickets, and other events.

Huh? That is what. makes America great right there. A, I don't have to stand in a line. B, I want the product that people are standing in line for. I'll pay you to stand there. Last week we had the lady that put the droid standing in line for her, right? Why use a droid when you can pay an American entrepreneur money to sit in a line just for you? God bless the United States of America. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. Only on the Blaze Radio Network.

It was a success. Begin Life Force reboot program now. Stand clear, signs, stable. It's alive. Set it loose. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. Welcome to it. How in the world are you?

Really? Good. Glad to hear it. So, in today's world, what does it take? I see this headline. 27 ways to be a modern man. Okay. Now, does anyone really know what a modern man is? I mean, perhaps Brian Lombardi at the New York Times

fashion and style section does. He's going to tell us 27 ways to be a modern man. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn't have to ask her sister for the size, and he knows which brands run big or small. No. Modern man never lets other people know when his confidence is sunk. He acts as if everything is going swimmingly

until it is. Okay, Brian. Number three, the modern man is considerate. At a movie theater, he won't munch down a mouthful of popcorn during a quiet moment. He waits for some ruckus. Right now the top three, I've said no to.

Number four, the modern man doesn't cut the fatty or charred bits of his fillet. Every bite of steak is a privilege. And it goes down. a hatch. Yes. The modern man won't blow 10 minutes of his life looking for the best parking spot. He finds a reasonable one and puts his car between the lines.

Yes. Before the modern man's heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouse's phone and his kids' electronic devices are charging for the night. Well, sadly, I'd say yes to that. However, my children and everybody puts me to bed first, so they need to take care of that themselves. The modern man buys only regular colas like Coke or Dr. Pepper. If you walk into his house looking for a mountain dew, he'll show you to the door. Uh, no. The modern man uses the proper names for things.

For example, he'll say, helicopter, not chopper, like some simpleton. Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day. that's actually sadly true the modern man makes sure the dishes on the rack have dried completely before putting them away uh the modern man makes sure someone else does that number 11 the modern man has never pinned a tweet

and he never will well I can honestly say I don't think I've ever pinned a tweet but I do scan Pinterest from time to time so that's kind of sad actually in itself number 12 the modern Man checks the status of his Irish Spring Bar before jumping into a wash. Too small, it gets swapped out. No, too Irish Spring.

The Modern Man listens to Wu-Tang at least once a week. Yeah, no. The modern Mayan still jots down his grocery list on a piece of scratch paper. The market is no place for his face to be buried in the phone. Sometimes, but usually, I mean, that's what you have a phone for, right? It's got the memo pads and you're good to go. The modern man has hardwood flooring. His children can detect his mood from the stamp in his Kenneth Cole, Oxford's.

But I thought he didn't have bad moods because back up here at number two, right? Yes, you make sure everything is going swimmingly until it is. So we've already blew that off. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off so that his wife has a chance to get away. That sounds good. Does the modern man have a melon baller? How else would the can of watermelon or honeydew he serves be so uniformly shaped?

Shut up. The modern man has thought seriously about buying a shoehorn. How they give those away with the top-nut shirt? shoes. The matter man buys fresh flowers more to surprise his wife than to say he is sorry. The modern man doesn't scold his daughter when she sneezes while eating an apple donut, even if the pieces fly everywhere. Why would you scold your daughter in the first place for sneezing? The modern man still ambles half naked down his driveway each morning to scoop up a crisp newspaper. Well, I mean, I don't scoop up a newspaper.

The modern man has all of Michael Mann's films on Blu-ray or whatever the highest quality thing is at the time. The modern man doesn't get hung up in. Doesn't get hung up on his phone's battery percentage. If it needs to run flat, so be it. But he makes sure everybody's charged at night. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn't own one and he never will.

Wrong. That modern man is wrong. The modern man cries. He cries often. Yeah, because he doesn't have a gun. He's being robbed. Number 27, people aren't sure if the modern man is a good dancer or not, that is, until the DJ plays his jam and he goes out there and puts on a clinic. Those are 27 ways to be a modern man from Brian Lombardi of the New York Times fashion. Men's style section. Most of those, let's say, no. And then I see this story.

It's a nice little story. It must have been bought and paid for by the retirement community because the Daily Mail ran this story, but it's not really, it's just like an advertisement. It's a, I mean, they throw it off as a story. There's nowhere in it does it say this is a, an advertisement. So it's a story about the community, but

it isn't really, it's more of a fluff piece and hey, why you can, this is why you should come here. It's talking about the boomers and their retirement community of the villages. Bigger than Manhattan.

It's home to more than 100,000 over 60s and 45 golf clubs. That's a pretty amazing at the villages in Florida. love the villages in Florida. And it has an aerial view of the villages. It's pretty amazing. I don't know if you've ever seen it or been there.

It's a retirement community. It's 34 square miles. It's still expanding. It's approaching the size of central Paris, which is 40 miles, 40 square miles. And it's no kids. Kids have got to come for just a short period of time. and it's really amazing. The villages started in the 60s

from a guy in Michigan. They say remote cow pastures. That's what Florida was. Florida still is a pretty big cattle producer about Florida, swamp lands, farms. That's where you get the cracker from because the farmers used to ride their horses and use whips.

Okay? the crack of the whip. They have big dances. They've got shows people in their fancy smancy golf carts. That's what you drive around the villages in. You don't really need a car. It shows people never leaving the villages. There's no reason to leave unless they have to go pick somebody up

at the Orlando airport or they want to go, you know, maybe to go to the west or east coast of Florida for, you know, a beach run, an official beach. run on the oceans, but they've got the pools, they've got the little cities, they've got movie theaters, they have a little lake, they've got everything, okay? And the only thing that it doesn't talk about here in the wonderful, I'm spending my kids' inheritance, 45 golf courses, 600 holes, 100 miles of paths, little ponds, big, pools, model boats, shows the big huge water tower of the villages. It's beautiful. The other

what I don't talk about is the big party that goes on at the villages. They have a huge amount of recurring sexual diseases. They have a recurring amount of people getting arrested for sex in public. There's a huge market for there's a huge market for Viagra and when I say illegal Viagra it's you know you're getting it without a doctor's prescription and it's you know on the street Viagra and people are getting busted all the time for having sex in public or in their golf cards people old men are fighting over women. So

when our vice president tells you how great this particular place is, you better believe it is. Oh, where's Joe Biden? Where's my man, Joe Biden? Tell me you have Joe Biden. Just America's friendliest hometown.

The bill is just America's friendly as home. hometown the villages Thank you. Oh my gosh, I got worried for a second. I can't talk about the villages and how great it is and how wonderful and how many little sexual diseases they're having and what great sex they're having

and the illegal street value market of Viagra without having a drunken Joe Biden. Tell me what a tremendous place the villages is. Let me hear Joe one more time, please make it a happy moment about the villages. The villages, America's friendliest hometown. The villages. America's friendly as hometown. The villages. You could be running for president.

God help us. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. Welcome to it. 889-0-303-93 is the phone number. Pure Opelka, stunt brain, Mike Opelka, coming up immediately following this broadcast on the Blaze Radio Network. And of course, Monday through Friday, you've got Doc and Skip,

Glenn Beck, Buck Sexton, Jay Severin, Pat and the Stu. Hello. There's no need to go anywhere else than right here on the Blaze Radio Network. And don't forget about Sundays, too. David Barton, Bill Handel, Jackie. I'm telling you. Just lock it in and leave it at the blaze.com slash radio. You can always tweet me, Jeff EMRA, or Facebook me, Jeff Fisher, Radio.

Congratulations are in order. Congratulations are in order to the NFL. The NFL should be very proud. Very, very proud. They have now gone for the first time since 2009 one month, one month, without a player being arrested. Congratulations, NFL. Tremendous things are working out for you. You're doing good.

You're doing good. Listen, to be arrested in the NFL, I mean, it's really, You have to really want to be an idiot and be arrested in the NFL. You make enough money to provide yourself with enough resources to keep yourself out of harm's way with the law. And yet, so many players just continue to be, well, let's call them idiots, shall we? And that's exactly what they are. It is unbelievable to me that so many players want to fail. It's as if they want to fail.

And so, I mean, you know me. Okay, then I see this story. You know me. I am Mr. Fashion. I love fashion. And I truly do. I joke around about that, but I truly do. And I know I'm not, I am, you know, personally not Mr. Fashion.

You know, I've been, you know, Mr. Fat guy, even though I lost a bunch of weight, it was simple to lose. gain some back. I mean, but I do love fashion. And I watch a lot of fashion stuff. And I pay attention to some of the designers and what's going on out there in the world. And I like to see some of the new stuff. And I understand it. I understand what's going on.

And if I could turn myself into, you know, a person that could wear many designer things, I would. But I can't. Even with Simple to Lose. I can't. It's not going to happen. I've given up on my runway hopes. But then I see the Paris Fashion Week.

And I'm paying attention. And I have just seen Paris, come on. I mean, are we just trying to be stupid and we got nothing else? You're telling me there's nothing else. I'm going to put this up on my Facebook page, Jeff Fisher Radio. and you can look at models wearing models. Okay. And it just, while it has some kind of sexual connotation,

it really is not, let's say, fashion. And maybe I'm not a modern man, according to the New York Times of fashion, 27 ways to be what the modern man is. If the modern man thinks that this isn't just a stupid, then I'm not a modern man. I mean, it's funny, and I get it as part of the ha-ha-ha Paris Fashion Week, but it really is dumb. And then we move on to the goth, almost the goth, almost Islamic wear, modern Islamic wear, that. Not quite, but pretty damn close. And then they have smiles with motorcycle.

It's just, come on, we can do better than that. We can do better than that. I'll put that up on my Facebook page. We can definitely do better than that. At the Paris Fashion Week, I have so much more confidence in you than that. It's unbelievable. Speaking of Simple to Lose, and those of you know that I you know hopped on simple to lose about four years ago and I lost you know 120 pounds

in the first six months and you know now it's been it's been four years and I am still down not down 120 though I'm still down and I'm really working on getting back down to the 120

mark but I just got this email yesterday from one of our Blaze subscribers. And I just thought it was I thought it was really cool and I wanted to share it with you. I really wanted to share with you guys. As of this morning, I've lost 75 pounds

with Simple to Lose. And talk about, you know, what a great customer this is, my first batch of freeze-dried broccoli will come out of the harvest right in about an hour. you guys have changed my life and my family's lives in so many positive ways. I just wanted you to know. Well, caffeinated in Texas, or actually it's caffeinated Texan, is the handle. She goes by on the feed, the blaze.com slash the feed for those of you that subscribe to the Blaze

and join us during the radio show and Pat and Stu show on the feed. caffeinated in Texas does. Thank you. Thank you. You change many of our lives too. And you too can change your life with Simple to Lose. Hello.

Simple to Lose.com. And then, I want the harvest right too, huh? I love that. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. Only on the Blaze Radio Network. The Fisher Show returns on the Blaze Radio Network. Welcome to it.

888-90-3-33 is the phone number. Michael Pelka, Pure Opelka, coming up immediately following this broadcast on the Blaze Radio Network. Selfies. We love taking pictures of ourselves. We've got phones, we've got tablets, we've got little cameras, big cameras, other people's cameras. we're taking pictures of ourselves, selfies. And then when it's you and someone else,

we now call it an usy. And we are taking pictures everywhere. And we love taking selfies. Now, there have been some stupid selfie plans going on. It's a story about a woman who was seen taking a selfie with her boyfriend. The boyfriend had a gun. the Snapchat selfies and then a little while later

she was found a shot in the head perhaps we shouldn't have taken the selfie before we shot her now you're guilty of murder we have people taking we've closed parks because people want to take selfies with wild bears we try to get as close as we can to take that selfie with bears people are getting hurt

people trying to take selfies selfies with zoo animals and getting hurt. They have people trying to take selfies on cliffs, mountaintops and falling off. I mean, really. Do we not know, hey, I'm going to take a selfie here. It's a cliff.

This is as far as I'm going to go. I guess not. We have people taking selfies. talk about life in the train age. We have people getting killed on train tracks, taking selfies, getting portraits done on train tracks. That was a tough one for me to understand. First, a lot of times in metropolitan areas,

I mean, it's pretty tough to get out of the tracks. There's a, I only have a number of places where you can actually, you know, get out on the tracks, you know, safely without jumping off platforms and stuff. So it's a pretty good idea that you'll see the train coming. You'll hear the train of coming around the bend. I'm pretty sure.

While they're going pretty fast and they may be going faster than they look like they're going. You perhaps may want to get out of the way. So people are getting killed, taking selfies on train tracks too. Wow. And then we had the girls at the ballpark that made huge rounds over the past week. The girls from the University of Arizona taking hundreds of selfies of themselves.

We love taking pictures of ourselves. We love it. And when you just look at the pictures of these girls, you think, oh, my, they've lost their minds. Well, they have maybe lost their minds, but the ballpark did ask for it. They were trying to, you know, win some prize at the ballpark, so they asked them to take selfies of themselves

and send it in with the hash. and, you know, try to, you know, win some prize, which, you know, does happen from time to time. And, but they were, you know, out of control taking the selfies. Then we have the story about a model who attempted to blackmail the hockey star with the post-sex selfie. She took a picture of her and the hockey star in bed. He was sleeping.

Jagger, the Army of Jagger. Now, she took the shot and then tried to blackmail the hockey player, the professional hockey player, the place where the Panthers, for a couple thousand dollars. I mean, why didn't she just say, hey, I'll have sex with you. I mean, she didn't feel blackmail is different than being a hooker. Instead of just saying, hey, I'll have sex with you. Give me two grand.

And he could say yes or no. Hey, I know I'll have sex with him. And then I'll just take a selfie. Meanwhile, he's sleeping in bed and he'll give me two grand. Yeah, okay. I mean, you know, stars have it try to happen to him all the time, right? I mean, that's why you have handlers. And that's why, you know, if you have an opportunity,

to hook up, you may say, give your phone to that person and you can have it back when the night is over. However, our professional hockey player said, yeah, no, get bent. I don't care. Yes, I had sex with you, and you know, you're welcome. Thank you. I'm 43. You're 18.

I have a nice day. Take care of yourself. And this so-called model who's trying to, you know, get a couple grand from the hockey player, she's got, she's a, you know, a hockey groupie because her boyfriend is a hockey player, a prospect. And the Army is like his idol. So now he's pissed and breaking up with her because, you know, she's out hooking around with his idol. And now people have actually started taking selfies with. with the hashtag, you know, selfie, Jagger, Jagger selfie.

And they show themselves with, you know, a bottle of Jagermeister, uh, empty pillow. I mean, it's really funny. And it backfired on her really good. And I'm glad to see that it backfired on her because, I mean, look, come on now. And I'm glad to see that, you know, at least my man had the guts to say, yeah. Yes, I had sex with her. And yes, you can say all you want

and take the picture and show it out there but no problem because, yes, that was me and get over yourself. Okay. Well, then we have a new survey. A people born after 1980 will take more than 25,000 selfies in their lifetime.

Wow. We spend 54 hours a year taking selfies. That seems a little high, but I guess maybe, you know, I'll give you that. More than half of people fix their hair before they take a selfie. 47% practice their facial expression. Okay?

People stand up to seven minutes taking and retaking selfies to try and get the perfect one. 47% of people think it's okay to take a picture of themselves during childbirth and 30% think it's okay during sex. 20% think it's okay to take one during a funeral. So we are living in a selfie world. Hashtag selfie world. It is amazing that we are in this selfie world. And everybody loves taking pictures.

of themselves. Just taking pictures of yourself. And I don't know if I heard right, but perhaps if you listen to the Michael Apelka show coming up right after this one, I think you have the possibility of winning a really, really a luxurious prize from Mike if you take a selfie of yourself

and hashtag it Opelca selfie. is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. The Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. Welcome to it. Thank you so much for coming along for the ride today. So,

Walking Dead. Next weekend, baby. We're back on track to the regular Walking Dead. I should use the sounder, but I can't reach my phone. The soundtrack. So I'm looking at the Blue Boom House Blum Blum B-L-U-M-House.com new site.

You can check it out. One of the stories they have up is the five most shocking deaths on the Walking Dead. Now, we have the latest fear of the Walking Dead. Last week, this is the last week of that show. First of all, let me introduce Aaron Hernandez. He co-hosts the Talking Walking Dead podcast that we do, which we'll start next week, by the way. Yes, it will.

As we recap and look forward to the future of the real Walking Dead show, not this new bogey one that's trying to hang on to the coattails of the new one, of the old one. This is the last week of the new one, right, Fear Walking Dead? This is it. Finally, and finally starting to get good, which is funny. Right, right? This is, last week was episode five, and it was actually not.

It was decent, which is surprising. I almost gave up on week four. A week before, I almost shut it off. I don't blame you. It's been going slow and the characters kind of suck, but finally, they've introduced some interesting characters and the plot point is actually getting someplace. So this particular episode on Fear was actually, I think, if it would have been like episode two instead of five, would have been so much better.

and maybe episode three. I'll give you three. Maybe one and two should have been episodes. Episode one should have been maybe one and two, and episode two should have been two and three, you know, edited down. Yeah, they could have condensed it. Maybe. do to the episodes is a little disappointing to me.

So are we, we got next week for the new Walking Dead. Yep. Right? Oh, man. And I got to tell you, one of those saving graces of fear, the latest Walking Dead, was being able to at least see the previews of the new one coming up. In my opinion, I think this is going to be the best season yet, just because it's going into my favorite story arc of the entire series, as far as in the comic books,

which is written ahead. It gets really good, really dark, and we're not giving away too much. A lot of zombies die. A lot of zombies die. Right? And why haven't I one of them? I have really ticked that they haven't called me to be. I want to be a, all I want to do is be a dead walker.

That's it. One can dream. I just want to be killed on TV. How do you want to go? I don't care. I really don't. I really don't. I just want to be a walker and I want to be killed. Crossboats of the head.

That's okay. All right. You know, whatever. Whatever. It'll be on fire. Whatever. I just want them to be killed. But no, they don't come.

Again, again, it must have been the same day that my phone was missing or something because I didn't get a call from them. It was very disappointing. So I'm looking at this list of the FI, according to a blood, Um, how's the five most shocking deaths on Walking Dead? And the one is the Grove with, uh, as they, uh, kill a little, uh, Lizzie and Mika's death. Uh, she's crazy talking to the walkers and playing with them. And then there's the Beth death scene.

Uh, there's welcome to the tombs, the governor and, uh, Andrea dies. Yeah, that was crazy. Yeah, that was kind of good. That wasn't bad. I'll give you that. And the Lizzy one wasn't bad either. She was whacked out of her mind and everybody wanted her dead at the time. So, I mean, it was good to see her go.

She needed to go way before then. I agree. And the Beth death scene, I mean, it was, to be honest with you, everybody loved Beth so much. I was glad to see her go. Me too. When you start feeling in love with somebody like that, okay, let's move on. And I thought it was kind of a sucker way they did it. So it was kind of a crappie death.

It shouldn't be on that list. It was whatever. Really? Yeah, it was a whatever. whatever death. How does she? Because the police officer is the lady in the hospital, right? The lady in the hospital.

It was whatever. She should have went out like good, you know. That's true. Eton alive. Something cool. Right. Something, something cool. Like a homeboy in the, the Noah did, in the doors.

Yes. At the shop or whatever. That's number one in my book. And he saved their lives. That was great. He saved their lives and knew, you know, everybody knew that he was going to die. He got eaten up, got torn up. by saving their lives.

That was tremendous. It was. It was disgusting. Right. It was disgusting. It was horrifying. It was perfect. Right.

And I give you that. She should have died that way. She should have gone down. Something good, you know. And you had Sophie's death. That was a long time ago. That was pretty tragic. You know what I mean?

That was pretty tragic. But once again, I think Noah takes the cake, man. Yeah, that was proud of all of those? Yeah. No question. No question. Because the rest of them were predictable. They were.

No, it was really good. And I didn't think Andrea was going to die. We could still could pull her out of the case. Because we heard what, one bullet, one shot? Right? So she could have just, you know, shot the Walker again or something. It's still been alive in the tombs. Maybe that might be a story arc to come back because without giving.

But she was bitten, though, right? she seems yeah she was bitten so I think she's done but in the comic book she's still alive oh really yeah ah see so she's still going in the comic books so they're changing things up here all right they're enough walking dead they better be good this season that's all I'm saying this season this season better be good coming up on the 11 okay next weekend we'll go into a little bit in depth after on talking walking down on the podcast. Hey, anybody tell you you look great today?

No? Well, you do. You look fantastic. I mean that. Really. Except you're not really going to wear that all day, are you? Ooh. All right.

This is the Jeff Fisher show. Only on the Blaze Radio Network.