Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - No Really, You’re Sick… | 4.03.26

Episode Date: April 3, 2026

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The R-Satisfaction Index has now done a study, their first ever, convenience store study, which ranked Americans' favorite spots to refill their gas tanks and their stomachs. The surveys were conducted over a seven-month period ending in September 2024. That's why we're just ended. That's why we're finding out about it now, with change scoring from zero to 100 on categories, including convenience of store. hours, locations, coffee freshness, food quality, wait times, and speed of checkout. Tadda!

What are the top 10 convenience stores according to the ACSI? Well, congratulations. We'll go from... Should we start at 1 or start at 10? 10? Okay, we'll do that. Number 10, Speedway. Number 9, Cumberland Farms.

Cumberland Farms Number 8, BP Number 7, Quick Trip Number 6, Sheets Number 5, Casey's General Stores Number 4, Murphy, USA

Number 3, Buckees Number 2, Quick Trip, oh, that's Quick Trip With the Q is number 2, Don't be fooled by Quick Trip with a K down there at number seven. And number one, Wawa. So congratulations to Wawa as they are the number one convenience store ranked by the American Customer's Satisfaction Index.

Kind of, I mean, I'm looking, as I'm saying the list, I've shopped at everyone. I don't think I've been to a Casey's general store yet. But I read a story not long ago where they're expanding, we may have even shared it here on Too in the Fat, where they're expanding more stores, particularly in the state of Texas. So I'm sure that I'll be able to have Casey General stores under my belt at any time. The rest was, I don't know. Obviously, I've been to Quick Trip with a Q. And I don't recall if I've been to the Quick Trip with a K.

But I feel like I have. All the rest of them, no problem. Definitely been in those stores. And definitely, uh, uh, Wawa's, I mean, they're, they're top notch. They're top notch. Everybody loves Buckees. Um, you know, and I like Buckees too. I just kind of get angry with them that they don't allow truckers there.

And the rest of them are just, uh, what I would call convenience stores. And they're there when you need them because they're convenient. That's the way that works. Welcome. Welcome to chewing the fat. Once again, why doesn't this happen to me? Or you, but it might happen to you. It just hasn't happened to me.

So a junk dealer, or he's being called a junk dealer in Pompeii, recently discovered that, you know that painting that I got out of a cellar in 1962 and I just hung it on the wall and I've always loved it and my dad liked it and it's been there. Yeah, I decided to actually, man, that looks like a signature on it. Yeah, it was Pablo Picasso and it's a painting from Pablo Picasso and it's been authenticated now, the portrait of Dora Marr. Apparently this was taken to a graphologist and which, who is a consultant at one of the courts in Milan. And now it's become public knowledge.

So this guy, Leroso, had it, and he's had it forever. And he didn't want to, it's the canvas depicting the disheveled face of a woman. Kind of cool. It's a Pablo Picasso for sure. Looks a lot, you know, if you look at it, you know it's a Picasso. I don't know what the junk dealer, he must not be a very good junk dealer. but now we know that it's going to be worth a whole lot of money. Now, he claims he doesn't want to sell it.

It's priced somewhere between 6 and 12 million euros, depending on when you sell it and when you put it up for auction. And he's like, I'm not going to sell it. My father loved it and has been hanging there forever, and he's no longer with us. So, you know, I'm happy to have the recognition for the painting, but it's mine. And it's hanging in my living room. So I will say how long that lasts.

Because in the original story, I talked about how the wife never liked it. So since the wife never liked it, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the junk dealer in Pompeii will have this Pablo Picasso up for auction in about. a year. Because any time they start struggling and he hasn't found enough junk to sell, the wife is going to look at Pablo hanging on the wall and see 12 million euros and that thing's going to

be carted off to the auction house real quick. As long as we're talking about selling stuff you have, I see where Tom Brady is going to hawk some of his stuff. I don't know why he's hawking his stuff. I mean, he's making all kinds of money. What I mean it is as

the ex-wife now need to money is you need to buy another house i'm not quite sure so he's going to put some stuff up for auction in december at suthabees as part of the goat collection uh watches and treasures from tom brady the watches range in value between twelve thousand and eight hundred thousand dollars uh one was a custom-made timepiece by ademar pigay and so what White gold and diamond-set, flying turbillion royal oak with a bracelet by Adamen Pigge. And the piece was worn by Tom Brady during his Netflix special, The Greatest Rost of All Time. That is expected to fetch between $400,000 and $800,000.

That's the most expensive watch. It says Brady on it. It's really nice, but I mean, I don't want to watch this. It says Brady on it. And I've got, look, I've got a timex. Takes a look and keeps on ticket. I have a watch collector as well. So it also, the auction is going to,

because since it is the goat collection, watches and treasures from Tom Brady, they're also going to have other items from Brady's career, including the shirt he wore during the NFL Combine, estimated to sell between $100,000 and $200,000. His final college game-worn jersey at the University of Michigan estimated to sell for 300,000 to 500,000, and a Tampa Bay Buccaneers game-used helmet estimated at $100,000 to $150,000.

Tom said I've been so fortunate to have such an amazing journey in my career, and these watches and collectibles really capture those unforgettable moments and all the hard work behind them. I'm excited to give fans and collectors a chance to own and cherish these special pieces from my journey, just like I have. Okay. I don't quite understand why he's getting rid of the stuff. What's going on? What's going on, Tom? We need to talk. And it doesn't say, and it's possible, that he's donating the money to some kind of charity

other than his ex-wife or kids or his own bank account. So we'll see. But it's really strange that he's hawking this stuff already. I mean, Tom, you can't be hurting that bad already, can you? Okay, day three of America held hostage from the International Longshoremen's Association, as they are on strike. 45,000 members are on strike, and the East Coast and docks are shut down. The East Coast ports are shut down.

And while I sympathize with what they are concerned about, you know, obviously making more money and less automation, that's not the way of the world and we are all you know struggling with that and the future but the other side of that is you can't hold America hostage

I'm sorry no we can't allow that now obviously it's being allowed as we speak but it can't be allowed now again it's day three so you know we're getting all the reports of don't worry about it and toilet paper is

made here in the United States. You don't need to hoard toilet paper. It's probably just going to be some bananas and some fruit. Well, sure, there's going to be some medications, you know, that are sitting out there or I won't be able to arrive. But we're going to start using, we're going to start using air freight to bring that stuff in. And so don't worry about it.

Everything is fine. Now, again, it's day three. Everything, you know, probably will be fine. And we'll work out a deal. And those ports will be. right back open. But it makes me a little nervous. It makes me, I mean, more than a little nervous,

because there are literally, and they know it, holding America hostage. Now, one of the ways that you can prepare, and I would do it now, because medications are already, you know, having a shortage around the country, and it's also becoming harder and harder to find some medication.

You have to go to different pharmacies to get different medications. You need to keep you and yourself and your family prepared. You and yourself, yeah, both of you and your family prepared. And what you need to do to ensure that you and your loved ones have medication on hand when it's needed is a solution that thousands of people have already discovered, and it's called the Jace case. It would allow you to start stocking up on medication now, so you're prepared. The Jace case is a personalized emergency kit

contains essential antibiotics, medications, and they also treat the most common and deadly bacterial infections. Those are your personalized kit of antibiotics. Now, those five life-saving antibiotics are for emergency use. All I have to do is fill out a simple form online, and you'll have it just in case you need it. They have add-on options as well. You can get Epipens and Ivermectin.

When you go to the website, Jace.com. They also have a thing called Jace Daily. That is fantastic. But let's get you started on the Jace case. So you have these emergency medications already on hand when you need them. And then you can check out the Jase Daily that gets you the yearly medications of other medications that you need. Go to jace.com. JASC.com. Enter the code Jephy at checkout for a discount on your order. promo code Jeffie, J-E-F-F-F-Y at J-A-S-E-D-C-C-C-E-D-com. You know, this is an interesting fight for me. I see where the East Texas has a place that is going to create a reservoir that they've already named the Marvin Nichols Reservoir, and they're going to dam up the sulfur river,

and then they're going to flood 70,000 acres, a land. And then pipes would carry water stored in the new lake to the Metroplex, the DFW area. And it would be enough water for about 3 million people. Now, there's more than a dozen East Texans that oppose that plan. Because they don't want their homes flooded. And they don't want their property lost to the reservoir for Dallas-Fort Worth residents to have tap water. And, And I don't necessarily disagree with them. However, I live in the Metroplex, and, you know, we need water. So you dozen families out there, sorry.

The project was first proposed. I'm just joking, stop it. The project was first proposed back in the 50s. The state has delayed the implementation. And now we're getting close to some state water development board deadline. So about 300 people moved to. the into the Metroplex every day. And hello, they're going to need water.

So the Region C Water Planning Group charged with creating a plan for Dallas-Fort Worth water supply. And I love the Region C Water Planning Group. And they claim we need that Marvin Nichols Reservoir because of the additional people. So the reservoir proposal is key to closing the gap between the supply and demand. They estimate that DFW will need 1.3 million. acre feet of water each year by 2080. Okay, well, that's all right, by 2080.

And the Marvin Nichols Project could supply an additional 320,000 acre feet each year by itself. Okay. So they want to just capture the flow before it's deposited into the Gulf. And, you know, we've, apparently Texas, we've done very little to capture. that flow. So they need some pipelines built, and so that means that they're going to have to, they're going to flood some land and take over that land. And then with the cost of the pipelines

and the transmission of water from the reservoir, they're looking at about $7 billion. Now, it doesn't say how much they're going to give to the East Texas residents for their property, for the, you know, those families are going to be displaced. The wildlife, is going to be displaced. Apparently there's local timber industry that's going to be displaced. And I don't know that I haven't seen the environmental impact

of the proposal. And then they're going to have to have because of the environmental impact, I'm sure that they're going to have to have land that's going to have to be counted as conservation land, right? So where do they get that from? It'll come from some other families too.

Just eminent domain that. Yeah, you know, property? Yeah, that's ours now. So we'll see. You know, people are wound up. You know, one family, one family man was quoted as saying, God's not making any more land. And I lived on this property

for generations, and I want to pass it down. But if they flood my land, I can't pass it down. No kidding. And my, just leave us alone. Let us live our lives where we were born and raised. Yeah, that's not going to happen. I mean, that sounds good, and you're right, we should just leave you alone, but we need water here in DFW.

So, now, what else could we do? I don't see any desal plants being built on the Gulf coast, which absolutely should happen. And of course, you still need pipelines and shipping of that water to come in if we were going to use a desal plants. But we have plenty of land along the, the Gulf Coast. Let's build a desal plant, along with another nuke plan.

How about that? Let's do that. In fact, Elon's got a bunch of property down there on the Gulf Coast, right? Let's Elon. Man, why don't you go ahead and build a desal plant and another nuke plant

and you could use some of the power for your AI on the nuke plant and the desal can be added to the water supply for us here in Texas. What do you say? Make that happen. I mean, I'm just throwing up.

ideas trying to help and I think my ideas sometimes sound well they sound good to me so you know there's that you can follow me on my social media sites at Jeffy JFR on Elon's X Jeff Fisher Radio on Facebook and Instagram on Zuckerberg's sites I see where Zuck is trying to

thinking about hawking a new clothing line I mean I watched this interview with him and he's talking about his Zuckware and it's just he's such a strange dude man he just really is a strange dude and uh he needs other people to do the sales bitch for him because he's he's not convincing me that he's the right salesperson for the zuckware but you know good luck uh anyway i had jeffisher radio on instagram and facebook and uh you can email the show any time chewing the fat at the blaze dot com chewing the fat at the blaze dot com and I do see them all I read them all

in fact I'll be reading a few a little bit later in this program who commented about the joke of the day that I asked for people to let me know if they understood it and they did and they reached out and told me what an idiot I was so well we got that to look forward to hearing from those people and their emails at chewing the fat at the blaze.com you can follow me on my YouTube page chewing the fat

with Jeff Fisher. And you can order a cameo from me anytime at Jeffey JFR on the Camio app. That, of course, is not free. But as I've said before, it is worth every darn penny. All right, let's go to the break room. I need something cold to drink desperately. Fat Bear Week is continuing on. And I looked for the brackets yesterday that we went through with 909

in 519, 19. I told you 909 Jr. would win. 99 Jr. won. I told you that 903 would win against 909. Oh, no. See, the 909 didn't make it, but 99 Jr. did. I think maybe we've, I said 909 would win, so we'd have both of them, the family affair. I don't remember. I don't want to keep track because I'd be wrong, and I want to believe that I'm right every time. So today, you could go to the Fat Bear.

week bracket and vote. 8.56 up against 504 and 151 up against 901. Ooh, that's a tough one. Because they both look really good. The 151 and the 901,

that looks tough. I'm going to say 151 is going to win that one. And the 856 against 504, 856, what is that? So, there's that. So now, 909 Jr. for Friday is up against 128 and 747 is up against 903.

So that's for that's for tomorrow's bracket though. So today's bracket is 856 against 504 and 151 up against 901 and we're going with 151 although 901 is pretty strong but 151 looks like he's going to win or she and 856 is up against 504 Yeah, that's 151 Walker.

It's got 151 walkers. Hello. 151 Walker against 901. I mean, 51 Walker is a returning champion. You kidding me? So anyway, those are your Fat Bear Week brackets. You need to vote. Go to the Fat Bear Week page.

In fact, I'll put the link up in the show notes for the Fat Bear Week bracket. and you can then follow the instructions and vote. Okay? All right, good. I mentioned this on Pat Gray-on-Leased, so I've been on Pat Gray-on-leashed program every day. Well, yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and then all of next week,

for those of you that, you know, listen to Betta Unleased, or if you don't, you should. But thank you for subscribing to this program, chewing the fat. Appreciate it. One of the things that helps keeps this show free, though, is a subscription to Blaze. and you can go to blazedtv.com slash jeffey and use the promo code

jeffy 40 j-e-f-f-y-f-y-40 get $40 off a year subscription that promo code is good for as long as it lasts so if you type it in and it doesn't work sorry I want it to work for you from my heart so if you want to get $40 off for a year subscription our lowest price ever I would do it I know ASAP blazTV.com slash jeffy promo code Jeffie 40. Jeffrey 40. Anyway, I mentioned on Pat Gray on Lee's show that Sean Diddy Combs is facing 120 new allegations of sexual assault.

This guy is never, never getting out of prison. Plus, he's now threatening to release names. And, you know, they claim to have info on all these stars. There's going to be stars that are going to be coming out. out of the woodwork now saying, hey, we were, I went to a party and I took a picture, but I had nothing to do with any of this. And it's going to be more than one. And they're going to be dissing themselves. What's his face already came out and said, yeah, I don't want him to fabricate anything about me. Oh, okay. So if something comes out about you, that it's AI or it's been

fabricated by Sean Diddy. Okay. All right, you got it. We believe you. And then that only that you have to we have to I guess we are supposed to believe that the 120 new allegations are all true right because not only are there going to be fake reporting that they were all part of this

and you know if I go down you go down kind of reporting there's also going to be plenty of people jumping on the I was assaulted by Diddy Bandwagon so it should be fun the next year should be fun Is this for real? We're actually just playing my music like this? Just jump in?

Is this like a new breaking news sound air from Chris Cruz? Oh, yeah. Are you breaking? This is that. If there's breaking Diddy News, I want this music for the breaking news for Sean P. Diddy Combs. His trial, his cases, his allegations. When we have you on the street

reporting from Diddy This is the breaking news sounder for Got it. I like that No, I was just gonna You know, maybe help you out You sound like you're missing some music I feel like every time we talk about

Didi, this is to be playing in the background I was just Just wrapping up a little Diddy headlines I'm okay with this Did you see that? Don't worry about the door being locked, baby Oh, you never were about the door.

Don't worry about the door. Did you remember? Nope, not remember. Did you see that our most amazing king of England is this Strout? Oh yeah, because he can't see Harry. He misses Harry. And William is like tough. Don't care.

Tough, old man. He's banned. He's out. Now. That's pretty game with Thrones right there. It is, but I mean, can't the king. The king could say William. And it should take you and your little cancer wife needs to calm down a little bit.

True. He can say that. Absolutely. But then it shows who's in true power. I know. I know. I thought the same thing. I'm like William is like, uh, you may have the title, but I'm the king.

Or, or we know how even though grandma's dead, his mother, queen, maybe there's some orders that she gave before. Possible. Plus, uh, what's her face? Uh, Camilla. Yeah, she hates Harry. Yes, she does. So that's a bonus for William.

For William, yes. William has that on his side, that little hatred from her. So we're good. We're fine. Come on. Of course he misses his son. Who doesn't miss his son? William and Harry were close for brothers, man.

That's over. It's over, man. Harry sold them down the river. You let them all down. Well, not just let them all down. Let them all down. You did not listen to that. Dad. Dad gave you the best advice of what you do when you fall in love with an actress.

Oh, no, Grandpa. I was Grandpa. Yeah, yeah, I was Grandpa. Grandpa gave you the best advice of what you do when you fall in love with an actress. Not that he would ever do anything like that. No, he would never do that to Queen Mother. Queen Mother will shut that down. Thank you.

But he should listen to Grandpa. I know. Because look at it now. They're living in poor. Right? They're living in poor. I have more money than they do. Poor.

I mean, they're struggling. They're looking for work every day now. It's not like they're, I mean, there's no question. They're not living in poor. But there's no question that they're out there hawking. They're working. Yeah, they're out there hawking for money every day. They're not sitting around.

Work? I know. That's a four-letter word that they did not know. Correct. You mean there's, I mean, I don't have to just go out and shake somebody's hand and there's a few million in my bank account? No. And also it shows how idiotic you are when you became a princess. So stupid. You're like, oh, I don't want to be there. So stupid. Just like Kamala Harris, right? 90% of the staff quit. Same thing with her. Oh, sorry. Was that not supposed to put that out? No, that's fine. No, that's fine.

No, she's an agonizing nightmare. Was that racist? Was that a agonizing nightmare? Plus, I see where today, actually, Kate came back to work. Oh, okay. I thought you were going to talk about, I'm highly upset. Kate's back to work when she was wearing her purple pants soon. Everybody was so happy to see Cancer Kate back.

Well, it's not Cancer Kate because she has no cancer. It's cancer-free. Cancer-free. Cancer-free. There you go. Okay, sorry. But did you see? I completely missed that. Today is Reverend Al's birthday.

What? Happy birthday to Reverend Al. Al Sharpton, Al Sharpton, Al Sharpton, Al Sharpton, 74. How old is he? 70. Oh. I was close. Just turned 70 today.

That was close. Well done, Al. You made it. Yeah. Congratulations. I know this is your show, CTF, Trin the Fet, but I have the best happy birthday, Reverend Al from Kamala He.

There is. Really? Footage that she recorded to play while he was at MSNBC this morning. Holy cow. Oh, we have to play it then. Holy cow. Yeah, we'll play it tomorrow morning. No, we're going to play it right here.

Right now. Oh, look at the time. Oh, man, aren't you like supposed to be done? No, and we're going to play it right here right now. Happy 70th birthday, Rev. Happy birthday. I celebrate the day you were born. You have been over all of your years, such an extraordinary leader.

You are a voice of truth, a voice of conscience, a voice of practicality around what we must address and what we can do. And I thank you so much for your friendship. Happy, happy, happy birthday, rev. Happy 70th. Oh, my gosh. Happy, happy birthday, Rev. She sounded so convincing. Does she not know his name is not Rev?

I feel that she got stuck. So he was there? No, he was at the studios, Morning Joe this morning, and there's just a video that she recorded for him. Oh, so she didn't even show up, but she couldn't show up live to the morning show. What are you talking about?

I'm vice president. I'm here in Augusta. She couldn't do a live hit with MSNBC. I'm here in Augusta, Georgia, giving people $750. Wow. I can be bothered to wish happy, happy birthday at Rev. Does she not know?

That's not his name? When you're doing a happy birthday. Okay, Fisher. Fisher, I am a customer of your a cameo, right? And I want you to do a happy birthday to Reverend Al. After 19 years, there, back. Frankie Munes, Brian Cranston, and the rest of the family reunite in Malcolm in the middle,

life's still unfair. After 10 years avoiding them, how and lowest demand Malcolm be at their anniversary party, pulling him straight back into their chaos. Malcolm in the middle, life's still unfair. A special four-part event, streaming April 10th on Hulu on Disney Plus. Can you give me a little bit of taste of that would that look like? Okay. You ready?

I'm ready. So your friend Chris Cruz wanted me to reach out. Is that you? Rev? Yeah, that is you. Okay, good. Good to see you. Listen, I wanted to reach out and wish you happy birthday.

Rev. You and your friends, you know, are great buds. You've been together for a long time. And they just wanted me to reach out and say how they miss doing drugs with you over the years. And, man, they wish they could sell some more cocaine with you to build up some money for your, you know, for your foundation. But they haven't done doing that for a while. But hey, you look great.

You lost a lot of weight. You're still hanging in there good. And you're still doing whatever it is you do. One night a week. One night a week. Happy birthday, Rev. So no name. So I guess I was wrong.

I guess we just don't name them. We just rev. No way. That's his name. Come on now. I realize that it's Reverend Al, the Reverend Al Sharpton. But.

Happy birthday. Al? If you're friends. Yes. If you're friends, it's not Rev. It's not Rev. No. It's Al.

Yes. It's Al. And it's just a... Or at least finish it. Reverend Sharpton. Yeah. Happy birthday Reverend Al Sharpton. Yes.

It's so... Legend, right? Like, maybe... Yes, you've done so much. You've done so much. Maybe at the end you throw in, Rev, we all love you. Yes. That's...

Yes. I think... But you have to do the full name. I mean, you have to do the full name. full thing. You're paying respects to the guy. It's the 70th birthday. He's on the morning show. You didn't have the, I'm sorry, you're too busy to call in, to do a live shot to wish him happy birthday. Maybe that's what they said. Just record something. We don't want you to do anything live. In my opinion, they're trying to cover her butts. Yeah. Because the lower third for all this, it says, happy 70th birthday, comma, Rev. No one calls them. No, some calls of that. No one says, hey, Rev. No. You're the, you're the, you're the, you're the, you're the, vice president of the United States running to be president of the United States, you're not calling people

Rev. Shut up. Shut up. Do you what I mean? You should have played this on Pat Gray on Lease instead of this show because now you got me pissed off. I want you to imagine for a moment that you're about to make the biggest financial decision most people make in their lives. Either buying or selling a house

or both. And what it would mean not only to have help, but to have the best help available. Imagine what it would be like to not have to worry about whether you're going to be able to find the right contractors to do the repair work, the right photographer, the right mortgage company, the right person who imagine how, you know, do I need to put new carpeting in? Do I need to clean, put new kitchen cabinets in, or is that going to be fine? You know, you need someone who knows everybody that you're going to need and everybody that you're not going to

neat and it needs to be a smooth process and that will make it a profitable one. Well, good news. You don't have to just imagine anymore. You can open your eyes. Real estate agents, I trust, pairs you with the best real estate agent in your area. Someone who knows the best practices, someone who understands the crazy housing market, someone who's a team leader and a closer. It's a free service.

We started it here, Glenn down the hall. started it because he had to sell a house for like $39 and some change and it was worth considerably more than that. And he decided that there had to be a better way. And so he started real estate agents I trust. So it's a free service hooks you up with the best real estate agent in your area. And so if you're thinking about buying or selling a home or both, get in touch with them, you'll see exactly what I'm talking about. Real estate agents I Trust. Go to real estate agentsidesrust.com and get this ball rolling for you so you can actually buy, buy, low, sell high. Real estate agentsitrust.com.

Hey, congratulations are in order to Tara Dower. Tara Dower, age 31, has now made history with the fastest known time to compete the Appalachian Trail. So she has beaten records for both men and women. I guess she finished, you know, before Helene came through there. By the 2,200-mile trail in just under 41 days. So congratulations to Tara Dower. I don't know if she gets a Guinness record for that,

or if she just gets an Appalachian Trail wooden sign, or they make an outhouse in her name along the trail. I don't know what happens after Tara owns the record, but she now owns the record for the fastest known time to complete the Appalachian Trail. 2,200 miles, just under 41 days. So congratulations to Tara Dower. And as long as we're congratulating people,

I see where Kurt Cobain's daughter, Francis Bean Cobain and a Tony Hawk's son, Riley Hawk, announced they have welcomed their first child together. Congratulations. They got the new baby, bouncing baby boy. Ronan Walker Cobain Hawk. So is it Ronan, R-O-N-I-N-I-N-R-N-I-N-Waker-Cobain-Hawk? Or is it Ronan, R-N-N-I-N, Walker-Cobain-Hawk?

Either way, a darn cute name, Ronan or Ronan. And probably Ronan. Ronan Walker Cobain Hawk. Yeah, like that sounds better than Ronan. Ronan Walker Cobain Hawk. No, that sounds stupid. Ronan Walker, Cobain Hawk. Yeah, that's what they named it.

Congratulations to Francis Bean Cobain and Riley Hawk as you welcome your new son into the world. It is official now. Caitlin Clark has won the rookie of the year for the WNBA. I feel like that was in question, but I don't know why, because she was definitely going to win that. She's been named the rookie of the year. The award came, you know, everybody knew that she should have won it.

She has the WNBA's single season and single game assist records. She scored the most points by a rookie ever, the most points by a point guard ever. She became the first rookie to record two triple doubles and a first fever player to ever record a triple double. And I think there's a whole lot more. I mean, she averaged 19.2 points a game, 8.4 assists a game. I just feel like there was more on that list, too.

I don't have that entire list in front of me. But congratulations to Caitlin Clark for becoming the rookie of the year. I mean, the attendance records through the roof for her all season long. And we talked about the playoff game, her final. playoff game where the most fans ever watched. And now the playoffs of the WNBA, I saw one headline that said they were down dramatically. And then the other headline was like, well, they're not down as that bad.

So that means they were down a lot. Because once Caitlin was out of the playoffs, we can watch football now. No problem. Don't worry about it. Oh, and speaking of that, do you know that yesterday, as we're talking about watching football. Yesterday was the 22nd, I mean the 2nd of October, not the 22nd.

That's not the 22nd yet. It was the 2nd of October, 2024, which means if you're listening live today, is the 20, is it, why am I want to say it's the 20th? Today is the 3rd of October, 2024, for those of you listening live. So, yesterday was the last day without college football or, an NFL game until the day before Thanksgiving. So we have 55 days counting today of football.

Just a friendly reminder that congratulations to Caitlin Clark and your whole little WNBA thing you got going on. But we have 55 days of football now until the day before Thanksgiving. So. Okay, so the joke that I did Monday, the duck walks into the bar, sits down, orders a beer, ham sandwich, bartender looks at him in a strange manner, and the duck says I'm tired just to get me my beer in a ham sandwich. The bartender gets the duck his order and says, you know, we don't get many ducks in here, and the duck says he's working construction across the street, and that he's a plasterer.

This goes on for three weeks. Every day the duck comes in, gets his beer, ham sandwich, talks to the bartender, who, you know, they become friends. One day the circus comes to town and the ringmaster happens into the bar. The bartender tells the ringmaster about his friend, the duck, and says, what a great attraction he would be in the circus. The ringmaster is very excited, wants to see the duck. Tells the bartender, and they'll call him when he comes in.

The duck comes in the next day. The bartender says, hey, excitedly, you know, I got a great new job. And then tells the duck about a great new job with the circus. The duck asks, you mean the circus with animals and cages under a big canvas tent with a hole in the middle? excitedly the bartender says yes and the duck looks at them and says why in the world would they need a plasterer i don't this is like i know that's supposed to be funny i want it to be funny but you know so i asked and many of you many of you reached out on chewing the fat uh email uh chewing the fat at ablaze dot com and uh pointed out that uh hey what an idiot you are okay

So I'll go through a few of them to, you know, just to remind you and me what an idiot I am. So this one comes from a jed. Hey, Jeffie, the duck joke is funny because the talking duck is oblivious to the fact that a talking duck would be a circus attraction. Oh. Okay. And then I get this email from William. Well, Jeff, the circus ringmaster was excited to find a talking duck. The duck thinks they're interested in him for his plaster ability.

And canvas tents need no plaster. I hope that clears it up. Thank you, William. I appreciate it. And then I got this in from Toby, the bartender. and the circus manager are focused on putting the duck on display for his unusual set of attributes. However, the duck is wondering why the circus would want to contract him for his plastering services. Witty, not funny.

See? That's what I'm saying. And then Toby wants to share his little, let's say a local school called me to speak to their LGBTQ club. I might ask, why would your group want to hear from a bridge player? See, because that means Toby is part of the alphabet. Toby's not part of the alphabet mafia. So he's part of the LGBTQ club. But he also is a world-class bridge player.

I've talked to Toby about playing bridge before. My first wife was a huge bridge player. I never got into the game. I'm very, I'm bummed about that because I can play. I love card games, but I never got into bridge. Anyway, I got it, okay? Thank you for responding. I understand.

I just didn't know. It just wasn't funny to me. I know it was just me. It just wasn't funny. And I appreciate the explanations. I asked for the explanations. I know. So it means a lot that you explained once I asked for the explanation.

Okay, let's get out of here. Let's have that enough for today. Well, if you, they're still picking up in the Carolinas and, of course, Florida and Georgia and all the other states that got hammered by Helene. It looks like the worst part is in North Carolina, but there are still plenty of places that need a lot of help. And if you're wondering what you can do because you can't, you're not in the area and you're not going to go there to help, you can give money to Mercury 1, Mercury 1.org, and 100% of that money goes to help the victims from Hurricane Aline.

And they are on the ground, boots on the ground right now. We heard from Glenn earlier this morning that some government agencies are starting to come to the local churches and charities and take their food. That can't stand. That cannot be allowed. So Mercury1.org. I will promise you this. And this is a promise from me. And I got,

and I got, I'm not on the board of Mercury 1. I just came up with the name. But I'm pretty sure. I will leave it at that. I won't promise. I'll just say I'm pretty sure. That if the government were to come in

and try to take goods that were donated from you to Mercury 1 for victims of any tragedy, Mercury 1 would tell them to get bent. And that's what needs to happen. So mercury one.org. I'll leave you with this. All right, it's not a joke. It's just a good,

uplifting thought for the day, okay? Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a four-year-old in a Batman shirt. Huh? Think about it. Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence

of a four-year-old in a Batman shirt. Seriously, think about it.