Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Not That Bad… Guest: Brian Boone / Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader | 9/5/24

Episode Date: September 5, 2024

Chick-Fil-A offering regular fries… Gutierrez-Reed pleads guilty to gun charges… World’s smallest vacuum cleaner... [e-mail] A look at lotto… Cruise tour stalled… Summer Movies and theaters… Once a week Mad Monkey… Rachel Ray slurring?... Japan / Typhoon / Deaths… Polaris Dawn set to launch?... Guest: Brian Boone / Uncle John’s Action-Packed Bathroom Reader Portable Press | Trivia Books | Interesting Facts | Informative Books Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goaltenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too.

Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Blaze Radio Network And now, chewing the fat with Jeff Fisher.

It has come to my attention that Chick-fil-A has now started offering regular French fries. Say it isn't so. Apparently, they have made them available at their test kitchen, Little Blue menu in College Park, Maryland. And who doesn't know that that's their test kitchen there in Little Blue menu in College Park, Maryland? they introduced traditional cut fries as part of an experimental menu. Now, you can also get them on the Chick-fil-A app. I did not know that.

So you can get them at their little test kitchen there in College Park, Maryland. Or you can get the regular cut fries on the Chick-fil-A app, which means that they're moving closer to ditching the waffle fries. And that's a little disheartening because one of the things that makes Chick-fil-A-fil-A- chick-fil-a is the waffle fries. I mean, that's, I mean, I'm not opposed to the regular fries. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to eat the fries. And waffle fries are regular fries.

You can quote me on that. I'm going to eat the fries. But the waffle fries are part of chick-fil-A. It's part of our, it's part of our, the fabric of America now is the Chick-fil-A waffle fries. So don't mess with that, Chick-fil-A. Don't mess with that, okay? Keep the waffle fries.

Now, if you want to make the regular fries available on your app, you know, from now until the end of time, fine. But if you go into the store, we want waffle fries because that's part of the fabric of America. Isn't it? Of course it is. Welcome. Welcome to chewing the fat. So the armorer from the movie Rust. Hannah Gutierrez read.

Still in the news, by the way. You remember her? She is actually serving 18 months in prison right now. She was convicted by a Santa Fe, New Mexico jury of negligently loading a live bullet into Alec Baldwin's gun. There it is. Yeah, we still have that. I mean, that still works.

So we're talking about the movie Rust. and we're talking about, you know, the head guy, Alec Baldwin, you will hear that because those are the rules of the show. When we're talking about Mr. Baldwin, if I say his first name, you get the gun cocking. If I say his full name, you get the gun shot. So Guterres Reid, who is 27 now. Again, she's serving the 18th month prison now. She has agreed to plead guilty to bringing a gun into a bomb.

bar in Santa Fe, New Mexico. That's still ongoing. Wow. So she's going to be sentenced to 18 months probation. Wow. So she is faced, she could have faced another 18 months in prison for bringing the gun into the bar, but instead she's going to get to serve the supervised probation. That's so special of Arizona to do that for supervised probation from her home. So once, I guess that's once she's done with the 18 months in prison for the involuntary manslaughter and the death of a cinematographer Helena Hutchins.

And the plea does nothing to do with that penalty. Then she gets to serve an additional 18 months of probation because she brought a gun into a bar. So still in the news. and remember, I mean, we were, I thought we were done with this whole thing, but no. The Alec Baldwin case was dismissed during his trial in July after the judge found that prosecutors had withheld evidence from the defense and then it was over. So still in the news from the movie Rust. I don't know that we'll ever get to see the movie because they finished filming it in another state while all of this was still going on. and it's good movie cannot be that good but we'll see because he's got to promote it sometime right dear old alec

congratulations is in order to a 23 year old student tepala nadamuni from india has received a Guinness world record now he has held it before he held it in 2020 and then he lost it in 2022 and he's been so upset that he's worked on getting his Guinness record back, and he finally has. He has created the world's smallest vacuum cleaner, measuring just 0.65 centimeters, which is less than the width of an average pinky fingernail. It is 0.2 centimeters smaller than the previous record that was in 2022.

Yeah, so you beat me out, but I'm beating you now. the vacuum is measured by the shortest axis of its body, meaning the handle and the power cord dimensions are excluded from the final measurement. Now, since he lost the record in 2022, he has spent the last two years trying to win it back, including two rejected attempts. So he's been hard at work around this. So he revealed that he came up with a completely new design this time around,

preparing over 50 schematic diagrams to ensure his creation met the required standards. Now, I've always wanted a world record. I don't know that I've that focused enough on the world's smallest vacuum cleaner to make this happen. I mean, he's working on it for years. He thought he had it four or five years ago, and he did. And then he lost it, and now he's won it back again. Now, remember, for the purposes of the record, A vacuum cleaner is defined as an electrically powered device,

which picks up debris with suction resulting from a negative internal pressure. Achieving the adequate suction proved challenging for Tapala, who was forced to make further alterations to his design after encountering issues during testing. His vacuum is made mostly from a refillable ballpoint pen with the addition of some small bits of plastic and metal. Inside the vacuum is a tiny rotating fan, powered by a 4-volt vibration motor, creating suction. When connected to the power source, the vacuum makes a whirring sound and is able to suck up dust particles,

which can be emptied out afterwards. In total, it says here that Tabula spent around 20,000 rupees on this project. Now, 20,000 rupees is about $238 an American month. money. So that's what he's spent on the project. Although all the time, I mean, it's been years that he's working on this stupid thing. The time and energy he put in to getting this world record. So congratulations. According to TAPLA, all the students in our college were amazed, were they at this tiny vacuum cleaner? Yeah, great job, Tabla. Man, congratulations on making the smallest vacuum cleaner in the world. And my faculty told me that it's the most beautiful creation they've ever. seen. So, it's got that going for him. Congratulations to Tapila Nadeam. N-A-M-U-N-I, who has the Guinness World Record for creating the world's smallest vacuum cleaner. You can go ahead and write your own jokes about vacuum cleaners and small females using it. Use your own jokes. They're not for me. Not for me.

This episode is brought to you by Peloton. A new era of fitness is here. Introducing the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus, powered by Peloton IQ. Built for breakthroughs, with personalized workout plans, real-time insights, and endless ways to move. Lift with confidence, while Peloton IQ counts reps, corrects form, and tracks your progress. Let yourself run, lift, flow, and go. Explore the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus at OnePeloton.ca. Be sure to follow me on my social media sites at Jeffy JFR on X.

Jeff Fisher Radio is Facebook and Instagram. Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher is my YouTube channel. You can email the show anytime chewing the fat at the blaze.com, and you can always order a cameo from me at Jeffey JFR on the Cameo app. That, of course, is not free. That's the way that works. You just, you know, order what you want on Cameo. And then I do it.

I'm your trained monkey on Cameo. I know. That's the way it works. At Deffi JFR on the Cameo app. So I got an email that has a rundown of what state has won the most lottery tickets, the most powerball wins. And I haven't really been paying attention to what was going on with the lottery lately. The Mega Millions is at $740 million.

That drawing is tomorrow, the 6th of September, 2024, with a $366.6.3 million cash payout. That would be pretty sweet. I would be, I'm up for that. I'm definitely up for winning that 100%. Although, you know, the next one,

the power ball, the actual, this email is talking about power ball winners from each state. The power ball is $112 million jackpot, $55.3 million. is the cash payout. And that drawing is coming up this weekend on Saturday, the 7th of September 2024. If you're listening live, of course, that means that today is the 5th of September

2024. So Indiana is the number one state. They've won the most powerball wins at 1,271. Then Missouri, over 1,000. And then you drop to Pennsylvania. this is all under 1,000, Pennsylvania, Minnesota, Kentucky, Wisconsin, Arizona, Louisiana, Florida is number nine, Connecticut, Iowa. Man, where is Texas, West Virginia, Kansas, Rhode Island, New York, South Carolina, Oregon, California, Georgia, North Carolina, Tennessee. Where is Texas? Delaware, Colorado, Nebraska, Idaho, New Mexico, Texas, Texas is at 27. Texas is at 27.

27th place with 264 Powerball wins. We need to bump that up. And one of those, when it goes to 265, let's hope that it's mine. I mean, let's hope that it's yours. Nah, I mean, I don't care who wins. It's all just, it's just fun. It's just fun. It's just fun.

And then, I mean, New Jersey, Illinois, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Michigan, Ohio, Massachusetts, Virginia, Maryland, Washington, North Dakota, Vermont, Arkansas, Wyoming, and Mississippi. Mississippi's only had two Powerball winners. Wyoming 5. That's a lot for Wyoming 5. I mean, nobody is in that state.

Anyway, those are the top states for Powerball victories. Man, Indiana seems like the state to be since Indiana and Missouri, both over 1,000 winners on Powerball. So congratulations to those states. And then it gives you the number breakdown. I might have to actually look at that number breakdown. and see if I could get an idea of numbers I should play. And I can probably lose with those just as well as the ones I pick

or let the computer pick. And even if I won the lottery, one of the things I don't think I would do, and as a matter of fact, I want to say that worded different, okay? I wouldn't do it with or without the lottery is take a cruise. Okay, I'm not impressed by giant cruise ships. Maybe, you know, you get a yacht. You take me out somewhere on a yacht? Okay, fine.

But I'm not doing the giant cruises. And I'm reading the story about this couple who wanted to travel the world on a three-year cruise. And that's only like, I don't know, 100 grand. So, I mean, you could maybe save for that. They were excited. I'm sorry, it starts at 100,000. It talks here that the cruise advertised to visit 475 destinations in 147 countries. the price to purchase an all-inclusive cabin starts at around $100,000 with an additional monthly fee for at least 15 years.

Wow. Okay. So this couple is talking about that's what they were going to do. They had decided that they were going to do it and we're ready to go. Johan, Johann Bowden and his partner, Lynette Cannon, have spent the past three months, well, waiting for the ship to actually take off. They've been stuck in Belfast, Ireland. Wait, what?

Yeah. They were just stuck there. They were ready to go on the Villa Vodicy, operated by the Villa V Residences, and they've been waiting since May for the crews to depart. So the founder and CEO of Villa Vue Residences said that, yeah, it's a 30-year-old. ship and, oh, man, the ship, well, made the trip to

Belfast, that's where we were going to, you know, made the trip there, then we're going to start out with all these other people on it, but gosh darn it, the other maintenance issues were discovered, and, you know, we just, we had to, we had, to, we had to fix them, and there's nothing we could do. It's just stuck there. So the rudder stocks took six weeks to get done, and now we're dealing with a couple of other things, you know, but overall, I think three months is actually not that bad given the circumstances.

Yeah, it's not that bad for you because you're not stuck in Belfast waiting for the ship to leave. The other repairs are in final stages now. So you ought to be able to... We're hoping next week. We're hoping next week. And this was actually...

This story is dated this week. So hopefully next week, beginning September 9th, maybe, maybe the ship will be able to leave Belfast and you'll be able to go to your 475 destination in 147 countries and not have to pay any more money. Now it says that in the beginning of this story, it talks about how they've been stuck on land waiting for the ship to depart.

And I was thinking that, well, they probably just stay on the ship, right? But no, they can't stay on the ship. It says that they have to stay at a hotel. They've been allowed, you could go on the ship during the day. I don't know why you would do that. but okay. But no overnight staying.

So you have to be in hotel rooms in Belfast. Now this couple talks about what they've been going around Europe. So maybe, you know, they checked in and said, you know what? Yeah, if we're not going to go anywhere and we're stuck here in Belfast, maybe we go someplace else on land, you know, for a trip, short trips around Europe while we're waiting for the ship to leave. It's not going to leave without us, right? No, it's still stuck there.

It's been three months. So even with the lottery. victory. I'm not doing a cruise. I'm especially not doing that cruise. All right, let's go to the break room. I need something cold to drink desperately. So we still don't have a deal with DirecTV and Disney, right? So, uh, DirecTV doesn't have access to any of the Disney-owned channels, ABC, ESPN. They just shut them off last weekend, uh, right in the middle of the U.S. Open and minutes before the USC LSU college football game. They just shut it down.

And up on the screen came, our contract with Disney, the owner of this channel, has expired. We appreciate your patience while we negotiate to offer you greater flexibility, choice, and value. Visit TVpromise.com for more information. Yeah, boy, I bet you that. People were probably really, really happy about that,

all the direct TV customers. And not only are the actual direct TV customers affected in this deal. But corporations who have, I guess, probably deals with direct TV to provide service for their establishments are suffering as well. I know in one company that goes by the name of Buffalo Wild Wings, who, I mean, you go there to eat wings and obviously, you know, enjoy the food and drink and camaraderie, but you're there to watch sports.

That's what it's all about. They have a million TVs. it's not a million TVs Jeff it's probably like 50 or 60 maybe a hundred I know it's not a million but you get what I mean there's TVs everywhere with sporting events on and I hope that you know if there was to be a game on that was part of the ABC Disney package are they going to put up the our contract with Disney the owner of this channel has expired is they going to put up that screen I maybe not but they do have a note on the front of door of one particular Buffalo Wild Wings that I do frequent.

Due to a contract dispute between Disney Company and DirecTV, we are unable to show certain channels of programming. Therefore, we are unable to show ESPN, ESPN, ESPN U, ESPN2, ESPN, the Ocho, the ACC network, and the SEC network channels. We're as upset about this as you. But we're stuck in the middle of the dispute as well. We will still be featuring a number of other live sports and programming while they work it out. Yeah, so they've got to have a deal with direct TV.

So I wonder if, I mean, if I am a manager at a Buffalo Wild Wings, I would log into a YouTube TV account and plug it into the televisions at my store. So my stores would have the actual events. Now, the NFL games are a little bit different because you get the NFL network and you have the NFL contracts. but for Saturdays, you know, Fridays and Saturdays, you know, college football is so huge. And there's so many games on all weekend long, especially Friday and Saturday for college football, that not having it really affects your business.

But, you know, that's the way I go. And just remember that, look, we appreciate your patience. And, you know, we hope to have everything worked out. But we're negotiating and, you know, everybody wants more money. You know that. so, you know, sorry about it. I know that they were worried about the summer box office at the theaters, but it bounced back pretty good.

They're all really happy. It's not as much as it has been. But it was like, I guess they're considering this year's summer box office at $3.6 billion. So that's a 10% drop from last year. But it's better than we were open. We thought it'd be a lot worse than that. You know, we had the $4 billion plus with Barbenheimer.

And, man, we were hoping we thought this summer was going to be a nightmare. Well, Deadpool and Wolverine, Inside Out 2. And I saw, you know, this last weekend, there was nothing new, really. Deadpool and Wolverine was number one again. They've hit $1.25 billion global, $600 million domestic. And then Alien Romulus was number two, which, you know, that fought back pretty hard because it ends with us, has been, you know, number two and it's number three. and then Reagan, the first weekend for Reagan, was 7.4 million domestic, which, you know, I guess it'd be okay.

It looks like I want to watch it. Do I want to go to the theater and watch it? Twisters came in five this weekend. But, you know, I was looking at, they were all happy that they got the summer box office numbers that they did. When you look at, when you go down the list of, you know, summertime, from 2012, to 2016 was over 4 billion, and then 17 was 3.8 billion, and then 18, 19 was over 4 billion. And then in 2020, 176.2 billion. I mean, it's not funny. It's not funny at all. I mean, ghost town, thanks to the pandemic.

I mean, when you say nobody was there, that's almost true. Then in 2021, it started to bounce back with $1.7 billion. People started coming back to the theater. And then in 2022, you got $3.4 billion. And then last year, you got $4 billion. And this year, you got $3.6 billion for the summer numbers. So the theaters quit your whining. You had people show up.

You'd be okay. And there's some big movies coming out in this fall, too. So the theater owners can quit their whining. Okay. And they're lucky that they get these big movies anyway. If they worked on the Jeff Fisher plan, they'd get them for a week, and then it'd be going to streaming. But there's some big movies coming out this fall

and into the big-time movie-going era of, as you get close to the holidays. People start going to the theater. They're out and about shopping. Hey, let's go see a movie, too. And we've got Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. And now we've got the Joker. And I know Batman 2 is not coming out this year, but I saw a story that talked about Batman 2 is ready to go.

And we've got the penguin starting pretty soon on HBO Max 2. I am looking forward to that. And can I tell you how pissed I am about Mad Monkey on Apple Plus? So you talked me into watching it, and I liked it with Vince Vaughn, and I sat down and I binged four episodes, and I thought, okay, I'm buying it. It's 10 episodes. I'm good to go. I'm already in.

Now I've got a show that I could sit down and watch when I don't have anything to do. I've got Mad Monkey to watch. That's all that was ready. It's four episodes. They just dropped number five yesterday. So it's once a week. Ugh. Man, I can't tell you how that ticks me off.

Okay. So I see the story about Rachel Ray. And I'm not a huge fan of Rachel Ray, but I don't dislike her. I mean, she's been around forever. She's a iconic TV chef for around, and I haven't seen her in a while. And there's this big post of Rachel Ray, Slurring her words on her Instagram post. And she's telling a story about Tony Bennett,

and she's slurring her words, and the fans are concerned. Well, then I see a story that she posts another post after that. It doesn't even comment about the, you know, I wasn't slurring my words last time, or I was drunk, or I'm on new medication, nothing. she looks different than I remember her. So I don't know. Was she sick?

Did she, I'm not up on my Rachel Ray fandom. So I don't know if she was sick. And then I see where she, you know, she won one daytime Emmy, but she was deemed ineligible for all those others. I don't remember the Rachel Ray story. If you know the Rachel and I don't know that I want to dive into the rabbit hole of Rachel Ray. So, I mean, you can email me chewing the fat at the blaze.com, no problem. I'm happy to, you know, if you know some Rachel Ray, good for you.

And you can let me know. But I'm listening to the video. The story is a fascinating story of when Tony Bennett came to visit her. And she was excited because, hello, it's Tony Bennett. And I don't, I guess she's slur in her words. You know, I guess she is. But the story itself is fascinating. first time he came to my house, Tony Bennett

ate two portions of Osabucco. Osabuco. That's what we're cooking. I almost killed him. I had polished the floors in the kitchen because, well, Tony Benedetto, that's his full last name. Tony Bennett's coming to dinner. I have to make sure the floors are perfect and the house is clean and everything is just

amazing. So it does kind of sound like she's a little drunk there now. I'm at least listening to it now, like, okay, uh, maybe, you know, maybe it's a new medication, maybe something's happening. She's got a bottle of the wine open. That's what she does, Jeff. It's always there. It's part of cooking the homo busco. Yeah, okay. I might have gone a little overboard with the floors, because when I pulled out the chair for Tony to sit down for his starter snacks in a pit of divo, the chair slid out from under him and he hit his head on my marble. counter behind him

and he fell to the floor and I thought I killed Tony Bennett I killed Tony Bennett. I killed him. I killed him. I killed him. And his wife Susan, so glorious she says to me, Rachel. He's fine. He'll pop back up.

Just let him be. So he made it all through dinner, had double portions of everything, was such a gentleman. I miss my friends so much. the most beautiful man maybe ever and he was the biggest eater of Osobuco ever in my house. That's what we're making. Osabuco, yeah.

Okay, so I don't know if something she looks, I don't know, she just looks strange. Like maybe, maybe she had some kind of disease or something happened. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it's just me. But what I mean, it's kind of a cool story to have a Tony Bennett story. All of us don't have Tony Bowdo and Bennett came over to dinner. and slipped and fell and crashed into my table.

And the wife said, ah, let him be. He'll pop back up. He's fine. Boarding for flight 246 to Toronto is delayed 50 minutes. Ugh, what? Sounds like Ojo time. Play Ojo? Great idea.

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Concern by your gambling or that if someone close, you call 1-86653310 or visit comexonterio.ca. A lot of Japan in the news these days. They had a big typhoon that left thousands without power. Hopefully people are recovering from that. And I wish them all the best through that as they were ravaged by typhoon Shanshan. Actually, I think it was just like a tropical storm when it hit, but it covered a lot of land and did a lot of damage.

So what do they call a typhoon that's not a typhoon? I guess it's just a tropical storm. I guess when you're either a typhoon or you're just a tropical storm, just like a hurricane or just a tropical storm. Anyway, it did a lot of devastation. And they just had the tremors, the kind of earthquake that they're saying it's going to be this mega-quake. Okay.

all right they're worried about that in Japan and then we have the U.S. Steel, Nippon, Nippon, Nippon, from Japan is looking to purchase U.S. Steel. And the government is saying a possible administration is saying, yeah, I don't think we're going to let that happen. You know what? The merger and U.S. steel being owned by a Japanese company, yeah, we're not going to let that happen. so. All right. We'll see. We'll see if that actually happens.

And then I see a story where Japan is experiencing a housing crisis because there's an overabundance of vacant homes. Nine million such properties are scattered across the country, just vacant. All right. Now, the issue is rooted in Japan's declining population and aging society. and it's now visible, according to many people, in the major cities. And it poses the country, you know, significant economic and social challenges. Over 30, and this is an amazing stat,

over 37,000 people in Japan passed away in their homes in the first half of 2024. So does that have to do with COVID? with the Vax? Oh, and I can't say, no. If it had to do something with that, they would have said something. Never mind. Or is it just old age?

37,000. Just died in their homes in the first half of this year. Holy cow. Wow. Now, I know that, I mean, you say it couldn't be with the Vax. They would have said something. I saw a story recently where the one scientist said that if you were Vax,

many, I don't know how many millions of people if they took the vaccine that they would all be dead in five years. Oh. Okay. Thanks for that. And I don't remember who it was. And I don't know, you know, it's all BS probably.

No question. But I'm just, I'm saying, that's what I read. That's what I read. So that's all I know is that's what I read. So if it was that, they would have said something. I just know that the stat, that I saw, as said 37,000 people in Japan, passed away in their homes in the first half of this year.

So that is not good. And that wasn't because of a typhoon or a tropical storm or an earthquake. That was because of what? Just old age? You got it. If that's what you say, I believe you. Oh, and we got, we know look up tomorrow morning. I don't know that it's going to happen.

They claim that it's going to. At least it's scheduled to happen unless, you know, something like weather keeps it down. But we know that the SpaceX Polaris Dawn mission is scheduled to launch Friday, September 6th, that's tomorrow. 3.33 a.m. Eastern from the Kennedy Space Center. So look up at 3.30 a.m. Eastern, whatever time zone you're in. If you're listening today live on the 5th, tomorrow, the 6th is the day of the SpaceX-Polaris Dawn mission. So we'll see if they actually hit the sky because I don't know if there's going to be something like weather holding it down. With Amex Platinum, $400 in annual credits for travel and dining means you not only satisfy your travel bug, but your taste buds too.

That's the powerful backing of Amex. Conditions apply. So just when you thought to yourself, hey, I'm out of reading material in the bathroom because my last Uncle John's bathroom reader I just finished, although you can continue to go back through it because I bet you didn't read everything in it. There's a brand spanking new one.

Uncle John's action-packed bathroom reader I hold in my grubby hands as we speak and joining me, Brian Boone. You've been on chewing the fat before hawking your bathroom readers. Good to have you back. How are you, sir? I'm good. Thank you for having me back.

I love this show, and I love talking to you. So thanks for how to you. Oh, that's so kind. So the action-packed bathroom reader, what's the, in your opinion? Now, I know you search the globe high and low for stories every day. Do you throw stories on the floor you don't even like? Because they're not good enough for the bathroom reader. And that says something.

something in and of itself. But what's your favorite story in the action-packed bathroom reader this round? Gosh, you know, it's probably the origin of goldfish crackers. Like, it's just so quintessentially Uncle John's to me. It's just

this thing that's always around that you don't really think about, and then you, you, it strikes you one day like, oh, I bet this has an interesting story behind it. Yeah, I bet it does. Okay, so, well, what is it? I mean, I don't want to. to read the book. I want you to tell me.

This is just one paragraph. This will make the book last 365 days instead of the full year. Okay. All right. A woman creates a pepperage farm. She, her son is can't handle baked goods because of allergies. So she

keeps Pepperage Farm to make all these baked goods. Campbell suit buys the company. They hire her on as a product scout. And she's in Europe and she discovers this cracker. made, right after World War II. She discovers this fish-shaped cracker made by a company on a machine built by a former Nazi codebreaker.

So he took all that scientific know-how that he used to beat the Nazis and turned it into a machine to make tiny crackers. Okay. And she stole it from him? They bought the technology, but they made him fish-shaped because the guy's wife was a Pisces. That's the only reason. That's just how it got started. started, yeah. He was just trying to make his wife happy.

Yeah, that's awesome. Hey, I did your star sign. That's awesome. So were his crackers with the particular flavor, or they just steal the machine to make the fish-shaped crackers, and they put in their own little flavoring to make it theirs to pretend they didn't steal it? Yes, they were rudimentally like saltines, and then Campbell's and Pepper Charm invented the cheddar. blasting technology that we said. Cheddar blasting technology. Do you work for them now? I love that. That's when we invented the cheddar blasting.

We've got that's highly technical. It's in the safe. I can't break that down for you. That's awesome. So, all right, so it also talks about stupid criminals. One of my favorite topics in life actually is stupid criminals because everybody, well, everybody thinks they're going to get away with it, right? I mean, nobody, nobody looks at their kid in the crib and thinks someday he's going to get arrested for robbing the 7-Eleven.

Nobody thinks that. I always think of that. It's like, you had, though, you didn't know, you were not always going to be a guy who, you know, walks up to a bike crack outside of a police station and tries to steal a bike. You have to be that guy. I mean, we have to all think about the choices we've made in life from time to time. So I love the idea of the stupid criminals. So we, what, what, how many stupid criminals do we have in this book? I'm going to have to actually find that area.

We've always, we've always got a lot. We've always got quite a few. This is one thing we're never going to run out of. Like, there's always dumb crimes. There's always, people send these into us. Like we, we don't even have to look for them very hard. People send them in from their, from their local lease papers and things like that. I like this one about a guy named.

Paul Green, he was at a Liverpool railway station, and he got on a train, and this is during protocols. So everybody was wearing a mask, but he wasn't. And so he got off, he got off the train, and like, he just looked so suspicious because he wasn't wearing a mask that police stopped him. And they found 500 grams of heroin and 100 grams of crack on him. Okay, dude. That's come on.

All he had to do was all he had to do was mask up. And you would think that that actually would be something he would do. That is a stupid criminal. Yeah, that is a stupid. He deserved to get arrested. No question. No question at all. Absolutely.

So this, okay, so I want to go back a little bit on the Uncle John's history. All right. So we talked about the history of goldfish and prior to the cheese blaster. The cheddar blaster. The cheddar blaster. I'm sorry, yeah, I got. So you guys have been around for how long now? This is our 37th book.

We got started in First One, came out in 1988. So I know you're the spokesperson. I mean, you're the main guy, but are you, like, I mean, are you, like, related blood to Uncle John, or? I'm not. I've been here 20 years. I wrote half the book. It's me and another guy read the whole book,

and then I serve as a spokesman. And I've been to need Uncle John. I mean, does this Uncle John guy exist and sit on a throne at Uncle John's, you know, headquarters? I mean, we're all Uncle John. But it's like it's like the Dalai Lama or, you know, being the Dancing with the Stars champion. It changes out. It started with a guy whose name was actually John. It was John Javna.

And he was in a friend's bathroom one day. and he was in there for a few minutes, and he was bored, and all he had to read was the back of a shampoo bottle. He was a writer. He was a voracious writer or greater, and he thought, like, everybody does this. Everybody reads in the bathroom. Like, let's just call it out. Let's just put some books out.

What a great idea. After reading. Yeah, I'm jealous. A little bit of something in there for everybody. And 37 years later, we're making them super, super long. That they can last be an entire year. And a little bit of something. and there for everybody.

What a great idea. I mean, I'm really jealous. Those, those are the simple ideas that always turn out so great. So you have, you have all kinds of stories,

obviously sent to you all the time, and do you actually go through them, or do you have, like, your own do people now and they go through them and give you the best? Oh, I go through them. I go through them.

There's good stuff in there. I mean, people have been reading, we have fans that have been reading these from the beginning, You know, we get letters from people saying. They're like, oh, I, my name's John, and, you know, my, my nephews get this for me every year for Christmas because I'm on Krona. Right, right. There you go.

A lot of dads get it every year on Father's Day is like the annual Father's Day gift. Which is great, by the way. And I will say, I mean, this is actually a gift that, I mean, everyone poo poohs, but they keep it and use it. Yes. Absolutely. I mean, that's my, I will use this just as myself as an example, like when I have to go to houseworn. which I don't get invited to many many anymore, which is kind of disheartening. But I give the same gift and it's a plunger.

And everybody poo-poo's my gift, but they use it. I'll tell you that. So they need it. That's right. Thank you. So I love the idea as a gift. So if I wanted to get my bathroom meter, do I have to actually go to like the last bookstore that's open in America or can I get it online?

You can get it online. It's at portablepress.com. our website, but you can get it on all the big sites. You can get it on Amazon.com, of course. Barnes & Noble.com, bookshop.org. And then every, you know, if you have a bookstore in your town, we're probably going to be in there. Yeah, absolutely. I'm sure they have it. So, some of my favorite stuff, obviously, was, you know, the criminals. I love stupid criminals. But I see in your press release that you talk about how many sheets of toilet paper, is it that's actually a measuring tool that is that is a measuring tool that is a measuring tool that

I devised on my own oh nice yeah we're always trying to come up with like ways to talk about bathroom stuff but not be to be gross about it and so I was I saw a roll toilet paper I'm like those are still still thin I wonder exactly how thick that is and then I started thinking like well well then how many sheets thick or other things so I or a roll up into pieces and I started measuring the thickness of things like, you know, a DVD is four toilet paper sheets thick. A popsicle stick is nine. Wait, no, no, wait a second stop. A DVD is four sheets thick, is that right?

Four sheets. Are you getting the extra thick, the Downey Fresh thick or what? No, it's two plies. Okay. All right. All right. But I couldn't do, I had to do the math of some of the other ones. I couldn't just go to the Statue of Liberty and just start to stack it.

So I got, I did, I did the calculation. Statue of Liberty is 546,847 sheets of toilet paper thick. You need to tell me that they would not let you stack over toilet paper sheets at the Statue of Liberty. I mean, what kind of country are we living in? The park service are real sticklers. That is awesome. Now you have to go out and do that. You should absolutely get a deal with them and make that happen.

Oh, man. What a publicity stunt. That would be awesome. And I will say I'm going to have to now, I question the truth behind the DVD being four deep. I feel like it should be six to eight. I don't know. It should be more, but it's four. Okay.

All right. All right. All right. I got it. You got it. Believe me. You can believe Uncle John. So this, the new one, Action Pact, is available as we speak.

which is awesome. I love, I'll tell you what, usually I end chewing the fat with a joke of the day. So I know you have jokes in the latest edition here in Uncle John's action-packed bathroom reader, number 37.

So I'll let you wrap us up with the Uncle John's joke of the day. Oh, boy, this is a... In fact, I'm willing... I tell you what, I'm willing to you know, let Uncle John, for a reasonable price, sponsor the joke of the day on chewing the fat.

Oh, that's... You know, I'll do the Uncle John's joke of the day at the end of each show. But, you know, that's something for another day. But I'll let you finish today with your Uncle John's joke of the day. Oh, okay. Oh, gosh. Okay, I got, I got the best one. This is, this is an honor.

Okay. How did the hipster burn his mouth? I don't know. how did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate his pizza before it was cool. That's so sad. That really is that sad. Okay.

Brian Boone from Uncle Johns. Thank you. I appreciate it. Thank you. You're the man. I appreciate it very much. Thank you. Go get Uncle John's bathroom reader action-packed.

The new copy as we speak. Thanks, Brian. Oh, thank you so much. Stream and subscribe to more Blaze Media content at the blaze.com slash podcasts. Unwrap holiday magic at Holt Renfrew with gifts that say I know you. From festive and cozy fashion to lux beauty and fragrance sets, our special selection has something for every style and price point. Visit our Holt's holiday shop and store or online at Holtrenfrew.com.