Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - One Bizarre Story After The Other; The World's Top Misconceptions 11/15/14

Episode Date: November 15, 2014

Jeffy covers several bizarre stories from the past week, the world's top common misconceptions and his thoughts on some current events, such as the planned Michael Brown/Ferguson protests throughout America. That and more on The Jeff Fisher Show!Jeff Fisher is live from 6am to 8am ET, Saturday. Listen for free on TheBlaze Radio Network.Follow Jeff at twitter.com/JeffyMRA Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the Blaze Radio on demand. The experiment was a success. Begin Life Force reboot program. Now. Life signs stable. It's alive. Set it loose. This is the Jeff Fisher show on the Blaze Radio Network.

Welcome to it. How are you? Live from Dallas, Texas and Mercury Studios. where I'm sure it's the same where you live, it's cold. I've had just about enough, and it's going to get colder. Calling for flurries in North Texas this weekend, Sunday and Monday. I'm a little unhappy about that. How about you?

Let's take a walk over to the green screen, shall we? Let's take a look at the weather map. Extreme cold. Grip's Wyoming, Colorado, to Texas. Look at this. Look at that green. the green screen, the cold front pushing down over the U.S. like that. Biggest temperature departures are below noble this week.

Look, Casper, Wyoming. Wow. Woof. Casper, Wyoming minus 27 degrees. As the cold front pushes down through, look at that. Denver minus 14 degrees. Oh. And the biggest temperature departures below normal this week were, of course, Casper.

We went to Denver. We didn't show you, take a look at Wichita, Kansas. Look at that. Wow. That is cold in Wichita, cold in Oklahoma City, and it pushes right down into Dallas, North Texas. So just wear something warm. Stay inside, if you can.

You have to be out and about. Dress warm. Don't want the kitties to get cold now, do we? No, we don't. Have gloves on. Warm up the car. Get the engine started. Make sure that engine is running good before you take off.

It's always good. It's not good on the end. engine at all. How are you? Man, oh man, oh man. Has this week been a long week for me? I'm sure it's been a long week for you. Can it end now, please? Oh, yes, it has.

Yes, it has. So tired of hearing about everything. I'm really tired about it. Heard about the lies, what's going on all over the world. I'm really tired about it. I'm tired. So you can tweet me, Jeff E.M.R.A. And tell me what you're tired about if you want.

Or we can just, you know, move on from being tired. Yeah, they lied about health care. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they got it. Yeah, they're lying about the Middle East. Yeah, they're lying. I got it. Yes, ISIS is going to have their own money. I got it.

Yes, Turkey hates us, but we pretend that they like us. Yes, China hates us. We pretend that they like us. I can't. Take it! You voted the man into office. And if you think, We had to hold their feet to the fire in Washington.

It's that simple. So we voted in. We had the big change. They hold their feet to the fire. If they don't do what you want them to do, then, you know, sit back and we're going to be screwed. That's as simple as that. You've got to scream. You've got to scream and holler and make them do what you voted them into office.

Because it looks like now, they're not going to do it. That's all I'm saying. In Poland, 91-year-old woman. pronounced dead, woke up in the morgue. How would you like to have that happen to you? The doctor identified by the media said that, hey, I was sure the patient is dead. I mean, I checked her out. There was no basic life functions.

And then she decided that she needed to move around. The dog says I'm in deep shock. I bet you are. Yeah, no, she's dead. She is dead. But she's not really. Now that's in Poland. All right, that's in Poland.

Does it happen in America? You betcha. Lexington, Mississippi earlier this year. Pronounced dead at his home. Funeral workers preparing to embalm him. he starts kicking the bag. Hey, hey, I am, I'm not dead. I'm not dead.

Now, the picture of my man in Lexington, he doesn't look that great, but I guess if you ended up in a body bag, you would look that great either. But my favorite part of the Mississippi story is when they interviewed the corner and they interviewed family and they were happy. that he was still alive and they were praising the Lord. And they interviewed the police and they interviewed all the people. But the coroner, the coroner, answered it all in one shot.

He wasn't I dead. Long story short. I'm sorry. What was that? He wasn't I dead. Long story short. Point taken. That is tremendous.

We're not going to mess around. So you, really? He was alive and you pronounced him dead? He wasn't dead. Long story short. Oh, okay. All right, good. Good, good, good.

Man, it's good. I wish we wouldn't have had that big long talk in Poland if he would have worked there. Because in Poland they would have said, oh my gosh, she was in deep shock because he wasn't I dead, a long story short. I love that. That's one of my favorite cuts of all time. Now, what's missing from that cut is if we could say, you know, we talked to the corner, and he had this to say. He wasn't out of the street, and then we went on the streets and talked to some of the people on the streets.

I heard it on the news, and I said it was ridiculous, man. Thank you. That's it. The John's. Thank you. Very simple. Very, very simple. Welcome to it. This is the Jeff Fisher program on the Blaze Radio Network.

1-888-9-0-0-33-93 is the phone number. 888-90-3-33-93 is the phone number if you wish to participate. Busy day here on BRN. Michael Pelka, Pura Pelke, coming up right after this broadcast at 8 a.m. Eastern. Then Chris El-Sato at noon. Mike Slater at three, Joe Pags at 6. You need not go anywhere else. Then right here on BRN.

So I'm reading a story about a man in a television guy who's getting his van towed. And I'm like, what the heck is going on? And I watch the video. The tow truck driver has a video. It's not that good. He's towing away a TV van. Now, the TV reporter is putting up the mast because he thinks, you know, hey, I put up the mask. They're not going to tow the van.

And he's talking about, it's actually, you know, the TV. TV guy is saying, you can't, you're not going to tell me. We would have moved it. All you had to do is ask. You're not going to tell me. And the tow truck driver is trying to be a dick and said that, you know, hey, I had, I had to do this. They asked me to tow you.

And then the clerk's office in Connecticut said, well, it doesn't belong to the court. It belongs to the Bar Association. And the Bar Association said, you know, we didn't call to have the van towed. It wasn't us. The driver misspoke. So that meant that the TV reporter was right. It was a scam. And you're in a no parking space,

and the tow truck driver probably has a contract. He didn't, he misspoke because I'm sure the Bar Association didn't actually call to say that van be towed. Don't forget it's the Bar Association. So, you know, you've got to be with, play with their words. but they probably have a deal with the tow truck company that says people who are parked illegally or don't have a tag to park here tow them. That's simple.

Now, they may get a kickback from the towing company or the towing company pays the bar association so much a year to be able to do that. I've seen it. I hate those people. Now, I know everybody's going to make a living. I got it. But those tow truck drivers, the companies that they work for, agonizing. I worked for a company in Florida that their parking lot was close to one of the stadiums in the area.

So whenever there was an event, instead of paying for parking, people like the park in our parking lot and thought that they could just park in our parking lot for free and walk over to the stadium. Well, so the first couple times, obviously, they did in the parking lot's full and you can't do that. So the owners of the property put up signs saying, you know, no parking unless you're, you know, shopping here. And, you know, if you're not shopping here, you will get towed. So night of the events, guys would show up with their little Radio Shack headphones on. and they would, I've got a, I've got a red Toyota parking, parking over to the left, red Toyota parking,

and we'll see where they go. And they would follow people. They're going to the stadium. And as soon as you cross the street, man, they were hooking up your car and towing it away. Now, of course, you know, obviously they make mistakes. So, you know, all right, we've got a blue, we've got a blue Chevy, take it.

And, you know, ladies coming out of the grocery store saying, And where's my car? I was shopping here. You're telling my car? Yeah. Yeah. Now, the bad thing is, other than getting your car towed, is that when you come back, there's no, there's like a little sign that says, a little sign on the one building that says,

if your car was towed, you need to go here. So people are coming into this. I was working at the particular store in the lot, in the building and they would come in and go, where's my car? Well, he went to the game, it was towed, so, you know, good luck, God bless, have a nice time,

take care of yourselves. Yeah, but, I mean, where do I get my car? It's like 1130 at night and I've got to, you know, maybe, I don't know, drive home. So you had to go, it was about a mile and a half away from where they parked.

in an area that really wasn't, you really didn't want to be walking through. Okay. And the company wouldn't take a credit card, wouldn't take any kind of card, it was all cash. That is almost criminal. And it was like, I don't know, it was expensive at the time. I don't remember exactly what it was. It was well over $100 to get your car. And they wanted cash.

And these guys with their little Radio Shack headphones walking around the parking lot. All right. I've got a Mustang. I've got a white Mustang pulling in. Parking space 32. Off to the right. Right, 32. White Mustang.

Right 32, white Mustang. All right, there he goes. He's getting out of the car. He's getting out of the car. There he goes. There he goes. He's going into the store. Never mind.

We've got a blue Toyota pulling in. I mean, it was just unbelievable. And it was all, I mean, all about the money. And we were tolling cars. So I'm sure that's what happened to this guy. And hopefully, Mr. CBS reporter in Connecticut will be able to do a little investigative journalism. You know, if there is any of that left. And find out exactly what it was, because I'm sure that, I bet you that's what it was.

that the towing company has a deal with the bar association who owns the lot that says if you don't have a tag or you're parked illegally, you get towed. So that they're able to say, oh, he misspoke, we did not ask for that, you know, that car to be towed. We didn't ask for that car to be towed. No, but you did ask them to tow cars parked illegally. And they want, it's all about the cash. All about the cash. Now, these guys got some guts, though, towing the,

TV truck. And that's what I mean about those tow truck drivers. Bastards. I got some guts. It's a TV truck? I don't care. You parked and Lee. We're hooking you up.

We're telling you about out of here. Let's go. I want a hundred bucks. 100 bucks are we're done. We had, and then I had, and then, oh, when I, I used to have, where they wouldn't tell you, but they put the boot on. Oh my gosh, do I hate seeing that. When you walk around the corner and see your car.

in this parking lot with a boot on your front tire. Oh, does that suck? That's like taking the air out of your gut. And what happened is that the one city I was living in, if you got, I think, three parking violations, three parking violations, then if you got the fourth one, they'd boot you to make you pay for the violations.

Well, where I was living, you had to park illegally most of the time. otherwise you were parking a mile away from where you lived it was insane so i like i can't i can't park so what we used to do is we'd park and we'd have to go out and move the car around you had to move it and if you wake up and you forget you know you wake up and you open up the window and look out see your car and hopefully they didn't see your car boot oh oh oh and you had to actually go pay your fine What? Pay you're fine? What?

Here we go. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. The Jeff Fisher Show. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. So, a couple things here. Welcome to it. It is the Jeff Fisher Show. She just said that. Why do I need to say that? Okay, so the weather.

So I get a tweet saying, how cold can it be? They're surfing. They're surfing up in Marquette. Okay. So I look, I click on the story. and surfs up, Lake Superior. These dingleberries in Michigan off Marquette are snowboarding and surfing out in Lake Superior. Stop it.

Stop it. It's Marquette, Michigan. I was born in Michigan. I was born in Saginaw, Michigan, the lower half, the Americas. When you're a Yupor, you're pushing your Americanism, okay? You can quote me on that. When you're a Yupor, you're pushing your Americanism. However, I'll tell you a little secret about Marquette.

Buddy of mine was going to go to school there. That's the home of Northern Michigan University. Engineers. It's a great school. It really is. However, he goes up there, and he's asked the guy, and when he's touring the university, and they're looking at the town,

and they're in Marquette, and he's touring the university, and he sees these flags on the corner, and they're like 25, 30 feet high. They might still be there. They might not. I don't know. With today's technology, they probably don't need to be there.

This was 1852. And he asked, well, what are the flags? on the corners for. Oh, that's when it snows, so we know where the corners are. So, I just want you to know that that's what my friend said, yeah, is that right? Yeah, okay. All right, listen, I got to go, but you guys have a good time because I'm not going to be up with Marquette where there's 20 feet of snow, okay? So that's upper Michigan. There's snowboarding on Lake Superior. So how cold could it be? Well, listen, I'm not going to be surfing, okay, and white out negative degree temperature.

Not going to happen, youpers. Okay? So, we're in the break. And I hear down the line, you know, NASA landed on a comet. Okay, first of all, it wasn't NASA. All right. NASA doesn't do that stuff anymore, which kind of pisses me off. Kind of.

And I don't like this whole European thing. I love the space stuff. It just kind of irks me that it's not the, the U.S. But I'll let that go for now. So they land on the comet, which is cool, right? I mean, they kind of miss it the first time, and then they came in and they shot their juggernaut ropes down in there, and their base anchors had got it out there.

It was great. And they made the big deal. Yay! We landed on the comet. Yay. And the whole world cheered. Yay! Which marked humanity's first landing on the probe on a comet.

That's not really true. by the way, there was a documentary a few years ago about a spaceship, spaceships that did that. But we'll get to that momentarily. Then they were happy because it was traveling around the sun at 84,000 miles an hour. And it actually was pretty cool that they actually were able to land this thing. However, as in the documentary a few years ago, they land this thing next to some kind of hill. It's in a valley.

It's in the shade. So guess what? it's in the shade the solar panels that you were going to use for power doesn't work it's now dead that's almost the same thing has happened in the dog i mean it's life imitating art or art imitating life because in the documentary that bruce willis starred in uh in the late 90s called i believe it was called armaged uh they uh landed in the wrong place on a comet and It didn't turn out well for Bruce, really. It turned out good for Earth in the end because, you know, in the documentary he saved us.

But didn't vote well for Bruce at all documentary. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. Only on the Blaze Radio Network. 888-90-3-33-93 is the phone number. 888-90-3-33-93 is the phone number. Hello. You can tweet me, Jeffrey M-R-A, or Facebook, Jeffrey Fisher. I'm very disappointed that I missed the seminar at Harvard University.

The seminar entitled, What, What in the But? Very disappointed. Ooh, man, I wish I could have been there for their annual healthy sex seminar. Been great. I mean, I, what, what in the butt? I'm guessing you can realize what that particular seminar was all about. Oh, why didn't I go to this? have been tremendous. Listen, it's understanding of that specific type of intercourse, despite the fact that it's widely considered taboo. Is it? What, what in the butt? It was for beginners. It's how to talk with your partner in basic preparation and hygiene. All the useful things that will make it that much more pleasurable for both of you. I'm not giving you all the things. I will tweet the story.

So you can read it yourself because it's very important that you learn what they were teaching with what, what in the but seminar. Oh, man, I wish I could have been there. Oh, we could have some fun. Yes, we could have. But no, no, we didn't make it. Very disappointing. All right, where are we going? We can talk.

We've got Ferguson. We've got to talk a little bit about a Ferguson. There's some great, there's going to get ugly there. Very, very ugly there in Ferguson. We've got to hope and pray that bad things don't happen there, but I think it's too late for that. I think it's too late for that. We can talk a little Walking Dead?

Oh, my gosh. Do you want to talk Walking Dead? Do we want, wait a, hold on. I can't talk Walking Dead with my Walking Dead soundtrack. Right? I mean, you can't, how can you talk about the Walking Dead season five if you don't have your soundtrack? I mean, I can't, I can't talk about it, Walking Dead. Where the heck is it?

Oh, Walking Dead, wow, tremendous, tremendous episode last week on The Walking Dead. We find that what we all kind of surmised about science boy that he wasn't really up to snuff. And, you know, if you have a mullet, you're probably not a scientist. It's pretty much the fact of life, right? And now we've got to talk, worry about Carol and Beth. If you aren't familiar with Walking Dead, go to Netflix and just start watching it. You can start watching it on Sunday nights, you know, live at 9 Eastern on AMC. Or you can just, you know, hey, follow me on Twitter.

You know, I live tweet it. Just follow it. It's okay. Hashtag, you can hashtag it. You can tag AMC Walking Dead. The regular Walking Dead sites, you can do all that. Or this weekend, you can go on a Netflix binge and get this Walking Dead out. Look, it's cold.

Go out this morning. Get yourself some food and drinks. Get yourself everything you need so you don't have to leave until whatever time you have to leave on Monday. Close it up. Get home, lock it up, turn the heat on, put the blankets on. turn the heat down if you don't want to pay the bill put the blankets on start a fire Netflix binge on the Walking Dead

get it under your belt so that by Sunday night you're caught up and you can catch the new episodes okay because this week's going to be good and I think this were at the if I remember right this is the last

episode of the first half of this season right episode six Maybe this is episode five or six. We've got five or six episodes of this season and then of this first half of the season. Then we'll go into the holidays, which, you know, of course, we got Thanksgiving coming on. And we have Christmas coming on. We have New Year's coming up. And we're saving grace on those holidays is that we get to be home with our families, right?

Right. Right. So this week, they're already calling. brought up to see what the talk is about the Walking Dead and they're talking about Carol and or Beth being dead soon. Oh, man. I don't know. We'll see.

I don't know. They're too important. Although every time you think a character is too important, sht. Dead. Which I kind of like that. Now, I personally, realized something the other day that kind of ticked me off.

Kind of ticked me off a little at the Walking Dead. And AMC, you and I are going to have to talk. Call me. A, I have a new goal in life. It's always good to have new goals, right? Okay. I want to be a walker. Because how many times you've looked at the screen and went,

that was me right there. You know, you're just joking around, obviously. That was me. Playing a walker. I want to be a walker. I want to have Walker under my belt. However, then, having said that with my new goal, I realize, wait, I don't remember any fat zombies. So I'm going to be breaking the mold.

I'm going to be breaking the mold. A, I want to be a zombie. Oh, I can call them zombies. I want to be a walker. Okay, I want to be a walker. That's my new goal in life. AMC, call me. And I want to be the first fat zombie.

I can't call them zombies. That's me. That's my new goal in life. So, think of that. You have that under your belt on your IMDB page? Hello. But, Jeff, you don't have an IMDB page. I should.

I should have one. I've got characters galore under my belt. How many characters? How many characters have I played? Seriously, let's think about this. On this network of the blaze. All right, I've been the fattest guy in the world, right? that was acting

I've been Chris Christie right another fat guy huh it's kind of weird that I keep playing these fat guys I've been Glenn Beck

I keep playing these fat guys I've been Hillary I keep playing these fat guys why are I coming up these characters I've been a rapist I've been the plumber in the Christmas story right the Christmas cookie or whatever the heck it was

have been, what else? What else? There's got to be something else in there. The atheist. I've been the plumber, the rapist, Glenn Beck, Chris Christie, the rapist, the fattest guy in the world. Hillary.

There's got to be something else. I've been a few more other characters, too. I'll think of those. But I need an IMDB page. And you know what's not on this list? Walker on Walking Dead. Walker number, whatever number it is. I want to be like Walker.

You know, 1,011 or 110. I want to be 11. Walker 11, episode 11, season. Not season 11. I don't want to wait another four or five seasons. I want to be a Walker next season. They're probably already done shooting for this season. Okay.

So AMC. AMC. Call me. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. On the Blaze Radio Network. The Jeff Fisher Show All right So I'm getting

I'm getting people telling me on Twitter I could be a well walker That's what I want I could be a well walker I could be a farm walker Maybe a fat walker Was stuck at the bottom of a well

I could be that AMC call me I could do that I could play that role for you That's what I want I want that I want that You know, when they looked down last week and you saw that huge farm that had the herd or the prison or wherever the hell they were that was just covered in walkers. And you know that, I mean, I love the, what's that smell? Oof.

You know it smells bad. You know it does. I'm surprised somebody on the show. They should have had someone puke. But I guess they're getting used to the smell now. Now, they could go through that. You know what I was thinking, why don't they go back and get a couple walkers and, you know, put the skin and put the crust? all over them and they can walk through the farm, right?

I mean, that's what, that's what Michone did with the slaves. That's how they get out of the city. Oh, I don't know. I don't want to spoil anybody if you go back and watch. But they get out of one city early on in the episodes, right, by putting Walker guts and goo all over you. That's what I would do. Man, to go through those big crowds like that, the big herds, you have to.

You got to dress as a, I mean, you got to put the Walker skin on, right? so that you smell like them because that's how they get you. Oh, am I spoiling something? Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to spoil it for you. I didn't, okay. But AMC, you need to call me. Yeah, I want to be a walker. I don't care. I'll be the guy with the arrow in his head. You can have, you can have, you can have Carol,

stab me in the side of the head. I don't want to die from Beth, though. She's not good enough for me, kill. She's not good enough to kill me. You know, how about Rick? No, I want Rick maybe. I want Rick to kill me. I want Rick to just cut my head off with this. That's the same. That's what I want. I've now decided that's my new goal in life. Amc.

Call me. All right. You can email me. Jeffie at glenbeck.com. Just email me. That's an easy account to email me, J-E-F-F-F-Y at glenbeck.com. Now, you can tweet me at Jeff E-M-R-A, Walking Dead AMC. Go ahead.

I mean, I'll get back to you. Direct message me, DM me, okay, because I want to be a walker for you. You know what kind of, oh, my gosh. You know how much free promotion that is? I'm willing to do it for free. And if you can't do it because of this administration, okay, pay me minimum.

I'll take minimum. I come out. Be a walker for you. It'll be great. Tremendous. I will be the best walker you ever had. The best. No one can walk like they're coming out of a bar at 2 a.m. silently better than me.

Period. Okay? Period. Period. Promise you. Okay. So, walking dead, this Sunday. Catch it, you can catch the rest on Netflix.

Bins this weekend. It's cold, cover up, get the fire started, feel good. Be ready to go? Hold on. I've got to wrap up the segment. Let's wrap up the segment. Set up. Stop.

888-90-033. 93 is the phone number. Mike Opelka, Pure Opelka. Coming up immediately following this broadcast at 8 a.m. Eastern. So students have been charged for possessing weapon of mass destruction. Now they're trying to blow up an ATM.

How strange is that? Have we gone a step too far? Really? We're going to call a weapon of mass destruction? So in Pennsylvania, they plotted a strap a bomb to an ATM and me, I guess, blow it up and rob it. Now they're saying it's a weapon of mass destruction. Possessing a weapon of mass destruction.

possession of explosive material and theft in connection with the alleged plot. Okay. Thanks, Homeland Security. They were just trying to blow up an ATM. I don't want to be next to the ATM when they blow it up. But is it a weapon of mass destruction? Jeff, if people are in line trying to get money, it's going to be mass horror. I know.

But really, we're a weapon of mass destruction for blowing up an ATM. All right. I know. It's a crime. I got it. got it. I got it, but have we maybe, you know, gone a little far, the whole weapon of mass destruction thing? He's trying to blow up an ATM for cash. I mean, if they just hook up a tow truck and pull it out of the wall, if they pulled up a tow truck, pulled it out of a wall, took it to a barn,

strap the explosive on it and blown up. Not that I've ever thought about doing this. And then, I guess that would be a weapon of mass destruction because it was in a barn. Is that where we're at? Okay. That's where we're at. So much more to get to on this broadcast.

Thank you so much for being here. You can tweet me at Jeffrey MRA. Facebook me, Jeffrey Fisher. You can email me. I just, AMC is going to be emailing me soon, and then I'll let you know what episode I'm going to be The Fat Walker on Jeffrey at Glenbeck.com

J-E-F-F-F-Y at glenbeck.com We have so much more to Tuesday and we're going to talk a little bit about I Choose Hope campaign coming up this week on the Blaze. It'll be,

it'll be good to take a little break from all the other agonizing stuff. I'll say that instead of saying other things.

The agonizing stuff that's going on around the world. I choose hope. More right after the movie. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. Only on the Blaze Radio Network. Experiment was a success.

Begin Life Force reboot program. Now. It's stable. It's alive. Set it loose. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. Welcome to it. How are you? This is exactly what was just told to you on the air.

Yeah, the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. 888-90-33-93 is the phone number 888-90-33-9-3. Yeah, yeah. It's a phone number. Weird. I know. So anyway, if you, how you doing? Because if you feel like me today, you know what?

I just want to go home and cover up. It's cold. I mean, baby, it's cold outside. It's going to be cold this weekend. It's supposed to be nicer today and then get colder again. Great. So I, you know, just go home today, get your running around and chores done early, and then just cover up. And then just cover up.

Because that's what I plan on doing. I'll tell you that. Business Insider came up with 52 of the most common misconceptions in the world. 52 of the most common misconceptions in the world. Now, I'm reading some of these, which I will read to you. And some of them, I think, That really isn't true. But let's see.

Let's go through them, shall we? The vomatorium. It was not a room. Romans used. The name of the entrance to a stadium. Really? Just go through the vomatorium. Okay.

Okay. Wake sleepwalkers. They'll really be confused. but it's okay. They're more likely to hurt themselves if they're not woken. That's actually, I guess, kind of true. My brother used to sleepwalk when he was a little kid. I used to wake up and he'd be wandering around.

Now, I don't know that I ever woke him up, but I just, you know, you just grab him and walk his butt back into his bed. Lay down, idiot. So I guess he kind of did wake. And he loves me to this day. Yeah. Sheer does. Different tongue parts. There are no different sections for each taste.

Bitter, sour, salty, sweep, six, all the same thing. Wow. Now it's all over. There's no special parts to your tongue. Black holes. Not really holes. Really? Napoleon was short.

He was 5'7. 5'7, though. Really. I guess in those days, I guess that was probably pretty good size. 5.7. but that's still not. Still not tall. Bulls hate red.

Bulls are colorblind. They actually react to motions. Okay. Red is for the people watching. The Great Wall of China. Not visible from space. Really? That one I thought.

Okay. I believed in that misconception. Missing persons report. Police don't demand a 24-hour period before accepting a missing person's report. They might tell you to wait a little, though. It would have been a few hours. You might want to calm down a little bit.

Bananas grow on trees. They actually grow on massive herbs that resemble trees. Oh, shut up. Okay. We got you. Oil stops stuck pasta. Nope. But it can't stop the water from foaming or boiling over.

Okay. I guess it does stop it from boiling over. Plus, it makes the, it gives a little on the pasta. Make sure you cook your pasta, El Dante. Yes, cooking with Jeff. Pasta El Dante. And if you overcook it, then it gets sticky. And even with the oil, it just doesn't feel right when you put,

you know, maybe you want to put some kind of sauce on it, or you want to have some powdered chilled cheese droppings you want to put on it. Don't overcook it. Don't you want to overcook pasta. And that whole throwing it up on the wall thing, what is it sticks on the wall? I mean, that's, you remember when that used to be, you know, you throw it up on the wall, if it sticks, you're good. You don't want to throw this spaghetti on my wall. I don't want to do that.

I'm sorry, I don't want to do that. Bats are blind. Bats are blind. They, but they, that's not true. They can see. They can also use their echolocation. That's why they're, according to do business. Insider, that's why they're so awesome.

So Kevin Loria of Business Insider, Lozbats. Let's see what else we got here. There was one here that really kind of bugged me. Goldfish, three-second memory. Well, not the smartest. Goldfish boast a memory span of three months, better than most. How are you kidding me?

Goldfish, three-month memory? Okay. Now, if you say so, if you say so. Yes, I'm a cop. This is good to know. U.S. undercover police do not have to identify themselves as cops. What? That's good to know.

For those of you that have had run-ins with the police officer like the rest of us. Caffeine dehydrates you. No, the diuretic effect of caffeine is offset by the amount of water in the carbonated drink. Great. Thank you. We evolved from chimps. What? No.

They are closest living genetic relatives. A shared ancestor lived five to eight million years ago. Thank you, business insider. Alcohol keeps you warm. It dilates warm blood vessels near the skin, creating the impression of warmth, but it can drop the core body temperature. Thank you. milk increases mucus.

Nope. It just straight doesn't. There's no need to avoid dairy if you have a cold. Well, first of all, there might be just a reason to avoid dairy. I'm getting close to avoiding a dairy kick. I was thinking about this. You and I may have talked about this before, but the whole milk thing is starting to bother me. I don't know why.

I don't know what brought it on. But I just started thinking that we are the only animal. that drinks the milk of another animal and even drinks milk as an adult. I don't think that's a good thing. I don't know why. It's really been bugging me. I just don't think that's a good thing. I love dairy products.

I love them. Now, you could say, well, you can still have cheese, and you can still, I know, I can make the distinction, you know, and just stick with them, I'm not drinking milk. but it's just starting to, you know, look around. Other animals, they reach adulthood, they stop drinking the whole milk thing. And on top of which they don't drink others' milk, ever. Yeah, yeah, there's exceptions.

You see the goat, they got raised by the mommy dog. Yeah, I got it. There's exceptions. But that's a baby looking to be fed by a mother. And another mother feeding a baby. feeding a baby, right? That mother becomes the wet nurse of whatever that animal is. That's fine. But as they get into adulthood, they stop. No more milk. So it's starting to, I'm real close. I'm real close. I don't know why. It just feels like it can't be good for you.

Just feels like it can't be good for you. How about that, the rest of that ice cream and stuff. I know, I know. If I give up dairy, oh. It's going to be hard. It's going to be really hard to give up dairy. I love dairy products. You know, I did Simple to Lose. You know, it's been like three years. And the first six months was simple to lose.

I lost, you know, 120 pounds. And then, you know, it's been a year and a half, year and a quarter since I lost 120 and I've gained some back. But I'm still hanging in there. I'm still a lot lighter than I ever was. and I'm still a huge fan of Take Shape for Life and Simple to Lose, and I do a radio show with them in Boise every week and in the Northeast talking about Simple to Lose.

That was simple, the number two, lose.com. And they are, you know, soon to be a sponsor of this broadcast. And, you know, I love it. I love them. But I love dairy products. Okay? And of course, everything in moderation. I know choices have consequences.

I got it. It's just that the whole milk thing is starting to rub me the wrong way. And I'm kind of trying to work through it. I don't know what the deal is. It just doesn't feel right. It just doesn't feel right. And how are you going to have cookies without milk? How are you going to have ice cream without milk?

How are you going to have cheese without milk? Cottage cheese, all of that stuff gone. If I kill dairy, I'm done, right? I mean, I'm not done, obviously, but I'm done. There's all kinds of stuff that I love. That's a dairy product. It's going to be tough. Salty water boils quicker.

These are some of the misconceptions in the world, the most common misconceptions in the world, according to business insider. Salty water boils quicker. Adding a sprinkle of salt to fresh water makes no difference. Thank you. Alcohol kills brain cells. Only in heavy users.

Oh, okay, see. Alcoholics who rely on alcohol to get most of the, yeah, okay. People who rely on alcohol to get most of their calories. Yes, you're going to kill some brain cells, okay? Only 10% of the brain. Only 10% of brain. Misunderstood metaphor. Yeah, we use a lot more than the 10%.

Okay, that's just a common thing. Left and right brain, no solid division between talents of each hemisphere. I might have to, you know, we've heard a lot of different things about that. And I'm not, you know, I'm not a brain surgeon. I'm not a brain doc. But we have heard different things about that, that, you know, that might not be, I don't know that I buy that. Flushed water rotation. Is this a misconception?

Does not rotate the other way in the south of the most? No, stop it. He really does not rotate the other way in the southern hemisphere. Really? If you think that, go drink some milk. No sex before the game. No evidence sex impairs athletic performance. This says could even help due to increased testosterone.

There was a documentary a number of years ago. about a boxer. And in that documentary, his trainer made it clear that women weakened legs. And so in this documentary, it worked because women weakened legs.

And he, you know, was getting his butt kicked and had all these women. Then he stopped being with these women, except for one. And he, he didn't finally, he didn't finally lose at the end. of this documentary on boxing,

but he put up a good fight. The documentary was rocky. Seven years to digest, the chewy base of gum is ingestable and passes straight through, so gum doesn't stick inside you for seven years. Dropped pennies kill. Oh, yeah, terminal velocity,

we've already heard drop a penny off a building. Terminal velocity of a penny is 30 to 50 miles an hour, isn't fast enough. But were you telling me a penny going 50 miles an hour? It's not going to go through your skull, maybe not. It's going to hurt, though. I'll tell you that. Sugar equals hyperactivity.

Studies have disproved this. ADHD and poor behavior still occurs in children with sugar-free diets. See, that, we talked a little bit about this on the Pat and Stu program. I think that that is worded right, right? because sugar does increase hyperactivity. Everybody who has kids knows that. You feed them sugar, you give them a bunch of drinks, and what happens, they go crazy.

However, this is talking about ADHD. Okay? Yeah, they don't have attention deficit disorder. Their kids hyped up on sugar. Christ's sake, but it does true. It's fact. You're listening to the Jeff Fisher Show, The Blaze Radio Network.

The Fisher Show is on. Oh, howdy. How are you? Good. Glad to hear it. If you'd like to participate, you can do so by dialing 888, and of course you put a 1-0-0-3-33-93. 888-9-0-303. You got Michael Pelke, Piero Pelka, coming up immediately following this broadcast.

Chris Salsato at noon. Mike's later at 3. Joe Pags at 6. weekend. A little best of Glenn coming up immediately after pure Opelka. Sundays, you got David Barton. Then you're right back into the weekday lineup with Doc and Skip. Glenn, Buck, Jay, Patton, Stu. My gosh. Lock it. Lock it. Lock it. Lock it. Lock it. Lock it. Lock it. Lock it. Lock it. Lock it. Lock it in. Lock it. Lock it in. Lock it. Lock it in to the Blaze Radio Network. So a third Ebola patient headed to Omaha

coming in from Sierra Leone. Coming in number three. From Sierra Leone, he is identified as 44-year-old Dr. Martin Salia. He's a surgeon, a citizen of Sierra Leone, and a legal

resident of the U.S. who lives in Maryland. Yay. Yay. Yes, we can help you. Tell you what, don't stay in Sierra Leone where there's the bubble that still happen in there. Don't do that. What you need to do is we're going to fly you into the U.S. And we're going to fly you to a place that reminds a lot of us of Sierra Leone and that's Nebraska. But we're going to know to Omaha. I don't know if you've ever been in Nebraska.

There's a lot of open territory in Nebraska. You make a right turn in Nebraska, you're going to be driving for a while. Guaranteed without seeing anybody. So anyway, new Ebola patient being flown in. Yay, yay, can't wait, right, right, right. Back to a couple more of these 52 of the most common misconceptions in the world from business insider. Multiple personalities. Schizophrenia technically means split mind.

But it is different to multi-personality disorders. Okay, thank you. Washington and weed. Now, when I first thought, why do they care who's smoking pot in Washington? But he grew hemp. Oh, they're talking about George. Oh, okay, I got it. He grew hemp and made rope and clothes, but there's no evidence.

He smoked it. No kidding. Shaving. Thickens hair. heard that. That's got to be true. They're saying this is a misconception. Regrown hair isn't thicker, coarser, or darker. It just appears so because it's no longer tapered. So it's a mental thing. It's an optical illusion. It just appears so. Humans and dinosaurs, despite 41% of U.S. adults thinking they co-existed.

No, we missed each other by a few million years. And by a few million years, I mean like 63 million years. So we're not... Chastity belts. They were not anti-adultery devices. What? instead, they were invented by prudes in the 19th century to prevent dangerous self-pleasurement. Yeah, and I'm worried about feeling bad about, you know, I'm thinking about not drinking milk.

These people are developing stuff to, oh, it's just agonizing. More of the program in mere moments on the blaze. Lock it in to the Blaze. The Jeff Fisher Show. The Blaze Radio Network. Jeff Fisher. Yes, it is. You know, okay, we can go through some of these.

I'm looking at these headlines. It's really kind of ticking me off. Because I, Obamacare architect, flat out admits administration mislap. Really, they lied. No kidding. No kidding. Big revelation.

Guess what? They lied. Will something happen because of it? Good luck. Good luck. Then I see, oh, two great stories. Killer robots need to be strictly monitored, nations worn at UN meeting. Really?

Autonomous weapon systems that can identify and destroy targets in the absence of human control should be strictly monitored to prevent violations of international and humanitarian law. Nations from around the world demanded this on Thursday. Did they? I bet you those nations don't. don't have the killer robots. Those nations know that killer robots will be coming into their countries very, very soon. Those need to be identified and destroyed.

We are so close. We are so close to robots doing almost everything. We've got the new, you know, we've got the new, um, uh, uh, Nanotechnology hearing aid. They were just blasting that, how great it was, how small it is. They can put this small thing to your ear. You'll never know it's there. It's smaller than a coffee bean.

Really? That's a hearing aid? Uh-huh. Okay. You know, if you say so. And then, but you have the Google Glass guy. They've pushed way back on their production, saying, well, you know, maybe we aren't going to do that.

Other people have been testing it. They're giving up on the stuff. the camera, the processor, all of that, you know, a rollout is going to be back. People, there's not a big demand for it. They're not a big demand for it because it's $1,500 and you're not sure what you're getting. Let's see what we're getting. Plus $1,500.

We want something, if you're going to use it. I know it's expensive. I got it. Why don't you make a dumb-down version? Like, oh, I don't know. Not as good as what you'd give to the police? What should give to authorities? What you'd give to Homeland Security?

You should watch Continuum. There are some shows up on Netflix. Is this an ad for Netflix today? Yes, it is. Netflix. Find out more at Netflix.com. Continuum. Catch it.

Give you an idea what's coming. Okay? Yes, it will. Yes, it will. And what's going to happen in Ferguson, Missouri? Yay! They're practicing. Protesters are practicing.

They're real and a man, what? It's going to get ugly when the decision comes down. Oh, my gosh. They are going to have, it's going to get ugly. It's going to get ugly. And now we've got, you know, the newspapers, publishing the video and the calls from the Michael Brown shooting saying there. There's going to be trouble, and they're waiting for the decision from the grand jury.

Listen, if the grand jury wants to push this off, and I'm not saying that they will or they won't, I'm just saying if they do, if they push it off, if they say, I'm not going to be the one to find Officer Williams innocent. I'm not going to be the one. We don't need that. They'll burn the city down. So the grand jury pushes it off. Yep, you know what? We're indicting them.

And my name is Bill, and I voted to indict. Goodbye. And go home. I voted to indict. Goodbye. Don't hate me. Please let me through the crowd. That's what's going to happen.

So they do that. And they push it off. So it goes to court. Now you still have all the people wandering around waiting for the indictment. And that means they'll be a little bit happier. Because not only will it push off the violence, it will also make them a little bit happy that they're probably thinking, hey, the grand jury saw something there. So now let's go to court. So if there's something there, great. If there's something there, let's put the guy in jail.

Absolutely. I have no problem with that whatsoever. If the police officer did something wrong out of hatred, out of whatever, whatever it was, if he did something wrong, got to pay for it. We expect them to do right. We do. And that's their job. When they do right and they still get treated like crap, that's a problem. So they push it off to the courts. And then the court says, and then just, you know, let's work out the hypothetical situation.

The court comes back and says there's nothing here. Get out of here. We're done. There's nothing here. Have a nice day. what do you do with Ferguson? What do you do? Do you send in the National Guard?

Do you wall it off and say have at it? I mean, there's plenty of people in that area in that town that don't want violence. Gun sales are up, bullet sales are up. And they're not up from protesters, although that may be the case too. They're up from average citizens and shop owners who are scared. and don't want their businesses to burn, and don't want their shops to be looted, and don't want their property to be damaged. I mean, it's...

I don't understand the mindset. I'm so mad. I'm going to destroy things that make my life better. I don't understand that. I really don't. It doesn't compute to me. I am so mad. At the outcome of this situation, I'm going to destroy things that make my life better.

Huh? It doesn't. I don't. It doesn't. I don't. I can't. I can't. It doesn't.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I know you do. I know you do. So it's bound to get just ugly if something bad happens. And I don't want anything bad to happen. I really don't. I want the people to be mad.

If they're mad, let them be mad. If they're happy, let them be happy. Let them, you know, walk the streets and yell and scream, have signs, and hold up their T-shirts and, you know, whatever. I got it. Nobody wanted Michael Brown to be dead. Nobody. And if it's proven that the officer did, well, then he'll pay for it.

But, you know, if it happened justifiably, if Michael would brought this on and it was ugly, we can't. You can't destroy everything. So what do you do? You close it off? You bring in the National Guard? Do you bring in other security forces? Oh, excuse me. I didn't want to sneeze on the air.

Would have been made for good radio, though, but I didn't want to do it for you. This cold weather is killed. I am getting a cold now. I can't believe it. All this week. Okay, sure. So it was 85 on Monday and then negative 55 on Tuesday. So why would you get a cold?

Why? Why would you get a cold going in and out of bad weather and driving and being out and going inside and heat and then being cold and then going inside and heat and air? Why? When you're used to going inside and having it cold. and outside warm. Why would that make you sick if it changed from going outside cold to inside warm? It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. Does it? Then we look at some more of the headlines. I can't, Obama hints at Keystone Pipeline veto. He's not going to, of course he's going to veto it. Nobody's going to give him a hard time. Of course he is. Of course he is.

He's getting ready for, passes illegal immigration. and say good luck, God bless, here's your ID, get out of here. Is anybody going to do anything? Anybody going to stop them? I hope so. I hope so. Is it going, you know, I hope so. It's going to affect a heck of a lot more than what you think it is, that's for sure.

And that neutrality, they're going to pass it? I hope not. Do I have faith that they won't? No. Why? Because a grand percentage of people. I think the last report I saw was 60 to 70% of the people say, no, net neutrality, no, no, why? I talked to someone the other day that asked me, now, this net neutrality thing, I don't quite understand it.

And I thought, well, what's the easiest way to explain it? Net neutrality. The government wants to take the Internet and control it instead of leaving it the way it is now. And I get asked the question, what's wrong with it now? Nothing! Except the government doesn't have control. I know, but there's got to be a problem with it, right? No!

The government doesn't have control. I know, but, I mean, something's wrong, right? I mean, there's stuff you can't get on the Internet. There's all kinds of people that can't get on the Internet. No! I know, but when I'm flying out of plane at 30,000 feet, and I'm in this metal tube. I can't get on the internet.

Yeah, no, yeah, you can. You can. I know, but when I'm at home and I'm watching something on television from the cable company that also provides the internet that my kids are on sitting at the table behind me, then the TV gets all screwed up, right? No! No, it works fine.

The other day, it took 10 seconds for a story to load. I can't take how bad the Internet that is, stop it. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. Hello. Oh my gosh. It is the Jeff Fisher Show. And Michael Pelka, Puyo Pelka, coming up right after this broadcast at 8 a.m. Eastern.

And I believe that he has Mr. Glenn Beck on. A very special Glenn Beck on plugged with Michael Pelka next hour. Glenn will be talking about, yes, is the history, what's coming up in the future, and probably talk a little bit about hashtag I Choose Hope. Coming up Wednesday on The Blaze. Yes, the Blaze is going to, I Choose Hope, all platforms. Going to shy away from stories like the Muslim prayer at the Washington Cathedral with hecklers. That might be hope there, though. There still might be a little hope there.

The first time that we had Muslim prayer at the cathedral, right? They had the big hour long ceremony. Everybody was happy. There was one heckler, right? One little heckler, but, you know, everybody was kind of good. And we had, you know, we had, we come to this cathedral with sensitivity and humility, but keenly aware that it is not a time for. for platitudes, because mischief is threatening the world.

The challenge for us today is to reconstitute a middle ground of good people whose very existence threatens extremism. Huh? That was the sermon from Abraham Rasul, Muslim scholar from South Africa. I mean, that's hope, right? hashtag I choose hope the challenge for us today and it really is a challenge

is to reconstitute a middle ground of good people whose very existence threatens extremism however it's going to be tough going to be tough getting that middle ground right because we had the of course

we're at the church we get the heckler Hey, America was founded on Christian principles. Okay, get out. You learn and love it. Escorted out by security. Get her out. Get her out.

Security, security. Security. She heard of you. Heckler. Heckler. And she was gone. That's where we're at. Washington Cathedral.

Muslim called a prayer. We've got to come together, though. Middle ground, right? Right? Middle ground. Uh-huh. You know, I was thinking, how do you get people to realize that? Hey, you know, we've got people lying to us all the time.

telling us lies, lies, lies, and nobody wants to hear it. And then earlier this week, we heard the Texas tech students who can't answer questions. Typical history questions, they should know. And then I hear someone say, well, they don't even want to learn for themselves. Okay, well, if they get older and they realize they want to learn for themselves, history has been so broken down and then changed that when they go back to learn it, it's going to be the wrong history. So where are you at?

I mean, you have to fight for it to keep history alive today and what we're learning. Oh, my gosh, that's what I think that's what Glenn is doing with History House on the Blaze, right? What? Keep history alive? Yes. I bet he's going to talk about that with Lopalca, too. Figures. All he wants to talk about is stuff he's doing.

I got it. Hashtag I choose hope. Yeah. Okay. Hey, have a great weekend. Keep warm, okay? Anybody. Anybody told you you look great today?

No? Well, you do. You look fantastic. You do. I mean, even if you are planning on wearing that all day, you're going to wear that all day? Okay. Okay, okay, okay.

I mean, it looks good on you. I got it. It's good on you. Peace. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. Only on the Blaze Radio Network.