Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Take A Moment... Guest: Brian Boone, Uncle John's Bathroom Reader

Episode Date: September 28, 2023

U.S. Government Hacked… Agonizing debate… British Airways pilot partying in Africa… Lotto update… [e-mail] The Boss postponing tour stops… CNN is trying it again… Katy Perry and Peppa Pig… Who Died Today: Sir Michael Gambon 82… www.blazetv.com/jeffy Promo code Jeffy… Proterra Electric Bus manufacturer bankrupt… More Hyundai Kia Recalls… Netflix DVD by mail are all yours?... Guest: Brian Boone Portable Press | Trivia Books | Interesting Facts | Informative Books Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader Weird Wonderful World Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Peloton. A new era of fitness is here. Introducing the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus, powered by Peloton IQ. Built for breakthroughs with personalized workout plans, real-time insights, and endless ways to move. Lift with confidence, while Peloton IQ counts reps, corrects form, and tracks your progress. Let yourself run, lift, flow, and go. Explore the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus at OnePeloton.ca. Network. And now, chewing the fat with Jeff Fisher. Really, we all have been hacked. There's just

no doubt about it. So now we are hearing that we have approximately 60,000 emails stolen from the U.S. State Department. They also hacked the email accounts of around 25 other organizations, including government agencies. When I say they, I mean a China based hacker group. Ten U.S. State Department email addresses were hacked, which nine of them belonged to individuals deep in East Asia and Pacific Affairs. The Secretary of Commerce was among the individuals impacted. The hackers forged a digital authentication tokens. That's easy for me to say authentication tokens required by the system. The tokens are typically used to verify a person's identity.

China, of course, labeled the assets. accusation disinformation and called the U.S. government the world's biggest hacking empire and global cyber thief. Okay. So now this is one of the largest known cyber espionage campaigns against the U.S. The hack was uncovered by Microsoft and they say that it occurred in May of this year and we're just now finding out about it. So, yay. That actually should be my new Chewing the Fat T-shirt. We've all been hacked because, well, we have. Welcome.

Welcome to Chewing the Fat. How about that presidential GOP debate last night, huh? Oh, man. Was it good? The whole thing, from the very beginning, where Stuart Varney screws up the intro. to the end was just a nightmare. And they all were talking over each other.

And it was really, really agonizing. One of their talking points, of course, was TikTok and how bad TikTok is for the United States and children. Don't worry about talking about the economy or, you know, why we love Ukraine so much. Don't worry about that. We want to talk a little bit about TikTok. And that was between Nikki Haley.

and the Vakelakeake Ramaswami. And then I was reminded that, you know, I never was a huge fan of TikTok, although, you know, I've, you know, we've given up now, right? We've given up. It's okay. TikTok is, you know,

they ran a commercial. Coming out of beating up TikTok in the debate, during the debate, they ran a commercial pro TikTok, how good TikTok is. It was just incredible. Then I was reminded, remember Bleeding Edge's Jeff Brown

did a reverse engine of TikTok, and they wanted to know where the information and what was happening to the information that was being given to TikTok, TikTok, through ByteDance or BitDance, the home company that owns it, you know, the Chinese company that owns it. So the app collects everything about users' phones. It documents the phone's hardware specs and every app that's been downloaded. It pings the phone's GPS location roughly every 30 seconds. That means TikTok tracks exactly where all its users are at all times. It also knows which Wi-Fi networks

its users connect to. It documents the address of the router as well as every other device connected to each network. Okay. It also has written in software code to allow it to potentially, of course they're not doing this, download

software to Android phones and then run that software without the user's knowledge or consent. And the software could be anything. It's like malware or surveillance. software. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's illegal. So we'll see, and they promised, hey, don't worry about it. We're fine. We've got that all taken care of. Uh-huh. So I know India has banned TikTok along with 58 other China-based apps. And we're going after, you know, Google and Amazon Prime

and Facebook. And we're doing, I, oh, did you speak of the Google lawsuit? Oh, my gosh, I know I'm, I'm jumping over the fence here a little bit. But there's an Apple exec that told a court in the government's antitrust suit against Google that it kept Google as the default search option for its devices because there wasn't a valid alternative. I think that goes against what they're saying. So we'll see how that whole thing works out. It was just a nightmare.

And I know I try not to talk too much politics on this show, but it's difficult some days. And the whole thing was just agonizing. I spent the night watching this stupid debate and their little bell that went off the whole time. And it drove my dog crazy or our dog. You know, the dog that I said we weren't going to have in the house. And then it's here. And so anyway, the whole night, you know, when they rang their little doorbell ding, he's barking at the front door and then he would finally calm down.

He'd come back and he'd hop up on the store. sofa and he'd be staring at that front door waiting for that bell to go off. And when it did, he was off to the front door again. So not only was I putting up with the agonizing GOP debate that I had to, you know, listen to the dog bark all night because of that stupid bell. Anyway, this is how I remember the GOP debate from 927, 2023. I just, I just can't. I just can't.

I did, but I can't. All right, let's move on to bigger and better things. Like Mike Beaton, the British Airways pilot, who was dismissed. I cannot believe that they fired this guy. They fired him for bragging to his coworkers about his cocaine snorting exploits, which included inhaling cocaine off a topless woman and a knight of wild orgies. Okay, well, if you're doing a night, well, maybe not. I mean, I was just going to say if you're doing a night of cocaine at a hotel,

it's going to include dopless women and orgies, but maybe not. So his negligent behavior caused an estimated the cost of 100,000 euros and a 24-hour flight delay as the airline scrambled to find a replacement for him. In a text message to a stewardess, hours before he was scheduled to co-pilot a flight from South Africa to the UK. Now, he was a co-pilot. He wasn't even actually the main pilot. He admitted to being severely intoxicated after an all-night party with a Welch woman, a Spanish lady, and several local men. The married is not funny.

It is not funny at all. And this man should be ashamed of himself. He's a married father of one. He bragged to his coworkers about snorting cocaine off the topless woman during the drug and alcohol-fueled orgy. before he was scheduled to fly. And in his text, he said, wow, I could not even lift my head right now. He underwent a drug test once he landed in the UK. So apparently he was the co-pilot actually did co-pilot the flight.

So everything is fine. Don't worry about it. But his drug test, of course, came back positive. And so they, British Airways released a statement saying no passenger was at risk. And we're fine. And you know what? The company no longer employs him. So it's fine.

Okay. He was in Johannesburg doing his time off when he received a request to assist the flight back to the UK. So he, they asked him, hey, what do you think? Can you assist in this flight? Yeah, I can. But, you know, I'm right now. meeting this group of people at a nightclub and we just partied all night and one thing led to another and the next thing you know I'm snorting coke off of hookers just.

What are you going to do? Say no? I mean, hello? So the Civil Aviation Authority said that it has strict protocols in place when pilots abuse drugs and alcohol. Do you? Okay, so does everyone else. We know. We got it. So an airline must immediately inform us if a UK pilot has misused drink or drugs boarding or being on board an aircraft. In these cases, we should immediately suspend the pilots' medical, which means they cannot fly. Yeah, hello, well, he's been fired, so now I guess he can't fly. The medical would only be reinstated if he were completely satisfied, if they were completely satisfied that he's done his rehab program. and isn't going to drink or drugs any longer while flying.

Yeah, I mean, he'll say he won't. I mean, that's a good deal, right? What are you going to do? You're traveling, you're away from the wife and the kid, you're in Johannesburg, you're at a bar, and one thing leads to another. But he's out of a job now. So we don't have to worry.

We're safe when we're flying British airways now. And according to them, we were always safe. Never mind. Well, wait, they said that he didn't fly. They actually held the flight up, right, for 24 hours trying to find a replacement for him, which cost them all kinds of money and time. So did he fly on, no, I'm confused. I don't know that he flew on the actual flight from South Africa to the UK,

or if he ended up catching another flight back, and that's when he was drug tested. or if he was on this flight and just wasn't part of the flight crew, that's probably what happened. He ended up being on this flight, but was not part of the flight crew because he was so hungover, which is why he still had plenty of drugs in his system when he landed in the UK. Okay, I feel better now.

I think I understand the story. All right, let's go to the break room. I need something cold to drink desperately. So I guess I'm going to have to stop by the old gas. station convenience store because the powerball, which the next drawing is the 30th, Saturday, the 30th of this month, if you're listening live today is the 28th of September, 2023, is worth 925, I'm sorry, an estimated $925 million with a cash value of $432.4 million. So that might be worth playing.

in a ticket. You know, you have to. You can't win if you don't play. And then I look over at the mega millions, because I haven't looked at them in a while. The mega millions, which has a drawing tomorrow, the 29th, is 267 million. I spit a 267 million. A cash option of 123.6 million. I say I spit on it, but please, oh man, I would not. I would not. I promise. Cross my heart. Hope to die. I would not spit. at $123.6 million. I for sure would not spit at $432.4 million. Oh man, that would be really, really sweet.

Let's take a moment. And think about what I, okay, we would do with $432.4 million. Okay, I've already thought about it. I know what I would do. Good luck to me. Sad news, Bruce Springsteen. I know. I don't get a tissue. He is postponing all of his scheduled tour dates this year until next year, 2024.

I guess he needs time to recover from peptic ulcer disease. Oh, man. I will say this. I don't necessarily wish that on anyone. I don't know that I've had peptic ulcer disease, but he's recovering. and of course, according to, you know, under a doctor's advisement, he's taking some more time off from touring. He's 74 now, and I'm sure it takes a little bit longer to recover from peptic ulcer disease.

So when the new 20-24 dates are announced, those unable to attend the new date with purchase tickets, you know what, we'll give you 30 days and get your money back. Okay? All right. All the tickets for the public. postpone performances will remain valid for the newly announced dates, though. So good luck, and I hope everything works out, and we'll see you later. Look, peptic ulcer disease. Okay, peptic ulcer disease occurs when open sores or ulcers form in the stomach or the first part of

the small intestine. Many cases of peptic ulcer disease develop because a bacterial infection eats away the protective lining of the digestive system. Of course, I don't have to tell you that. You already knew that. That was for me to know what exactly a peptic ulcer disease issue is. Speaking of peptic ulcered disease, I see where CNN Max is launching a new schedule that's just mirroring its linear lineup. So we're going to get back into the streaming world again. and it's going to launch and launch yesterday. Oh, darn.

I missed the actual launch. Well, it's the internet, Jeff, and you could go there anytime. Oh, okay. So it's CNN Max. All caps, CNNM, and then small case, AX.

It's a service that diverges from his past efforts in a way that mirrors so much of the schedule of its linear networks. Oh, that's right. When they announced this, though,

they said they were going to do some different things. on it, right? The platform, and available to all subscribers, it includes 900 hours of programming from CNN originals, including shows like, Who's Talking to Chris Wallace? And Anthony Bordane,

where they're still hanging on him. And Stanley Tucci, Parts Unknown, searching for Italy. Yeah. Wow. So good luck to CNN for the 24-7 CNN max. I guess they didn't want to go back to CNN Plus. Everybody either does Plus and now CNN is stealing.

You know what? What we need to do is do CNN Max. That's what we need to do. So what's the new stuff? Okay, so primetime shows, Aaron Burnett, Asa Cooper, The Source with Caitlin Collins, morning programming, early start with Casey Hunt, CNN This Morning,

other shows from CNN International, State of the Race with Casey Hunt. Well, that's debuting. That debuted yesterday, as well as One World with Vienna, Gouldragha, joining Zane Asher, Zankar, boy, I betcha that's good.

And Amempur, also as part of the early afternoon schedule. So I don't know that they're doing anything, I guess to get original programming from Jim Acosta, and I bet you those are good. Good, good, good. Good. So hey, you know, if you're into it, just get out there and give a big shout out to CNN Max.

What's the over under on 30 days? Does it last longer than 30 days? Probably because they'll just stream what they're doing on Linear and say that that's their stream for now. But it can't last long. Who's going to CNN Max? Anyway, congratulations to Katie Perry. she is going to be a part of the new animated 20th anniversary special with Peppa Pig. I know, who doesn't love Peppa Pig?

So Hasbro announced that the 38-year-old, wow, Katie Perry is 38 already. Teenage Dream Superstar will be joined the cast of Peppa Pig as the voice of a brand new character for the upcoming three-part 20th Anniversary Special. Perry, well known for her zany and over-the-top fashion. I don't know if they know this, but Peppa Pig is an animated cartoon, so we won't necessarily see Katie's zany in over-the-top fashion. But, okay, so I guess she's going to play Ms. Leopard in the celebratory Peppa Pig wedding party special. Her character will help Mr. Bull and Mrs. Cow out with a wedding, announced as a surprise.

leaving everyone with only one day to prepare for the big event. We're incredibly thrilled to have such an A-list talent, join the family fun. I'm sorry, join the family fun adventures in Peppa Pig. And so congratulations to Katie. And can't wait for the Peppa Pig wedding party special. The show's 20th anniversary of three-part series, which will be just in Incredible. And you may ask yourself, Jeff, how are you not a character on Peppa Pig?

I don't know the answer to that. I am not, though, and Katie is. So don't ask me that question because it hurts. I should be a character on Peppa Pig. Because, I mean, hello, Zaney, over-the-top fashion? That's me. Boarding for flight 246 to Toronto is delayed 50 minutes. Ugh, what?

Sounds like Ojo time. Play Ojo. Great idea. Feel the fun with all the latest slots in live casino games and with no wagering requirements. What you win is yours to keep groovy. Hey, I won! Feel the fun!

The morning will begin when passenger Fisher is done celebrating. 19 plus Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Concerned by your gambling or that if someone close, you call 186653310 or visitcomexonterio.ca. Who died today? Who died today? The Irish-English star, who you know him probably because he played Dumbledore in the Harry Potter film franchise, passed away at the age of 82.

He died in the hospital with his family and friends surrounding him. It said, wasn't that. Don't look at me like that. And they said he had a case of pneumonia that he couldn't shake. And so, all right? So don't be thinking that it was that. I know what you were thinking. Yeah.

And so, all right? He was qualified as an engineer and a toolmaker. And then he said, hey, you know, I think I'd rather act. And he did. And he had the booming voice. And he filled in. Remember, Richard Harris was, I think, the original Dumbledore, or at least that particular character.

I don't know if it was actually Dumbledore. But then, Sir Michael stepped in. Between 2004 and 2011. Wow. I mean, that's a good gig for being your 70s and get that gig, man. Anyway, so Sir Michael Gamden dead at the age of 82. You know who else?

Well, they kind of died. They filed for bankruptcy. The bus manufacturer, the electric bus manufacturer, the California-based pro-tera who filed for bankruptcy, yeah, we can't make a go of it. We were making these electric buses. We're going to try.

It came as a shock, but we just can't make any money. So any cities, you know, like Jackson and Teaton County, Wyoming, they're saying, yeah, we bought, you know, we have eight electric buses and in our fleet of 31, and none of the buses are running now. So we're just using the diesel fleet.

Yeah, we don't know what to do. We can't get parts for them. We don't know what's happening and they won't run. So, man, I wish we could help out with the old electric bus thing, but we can't. And, hey, company, do you think that the pro terrier, you think you send us some parts? Yeah, we'd love to, but we just can't. We're trying to fill those parts orders. We're trying to get the new buses there.

We're trying to get there, but we just can't right now. Okay, I wish we could, but we can. And if there are any other cities out there that are looking to get their parts for their electric buses from us that aren't running, or if they're still running and they may need parts in the future, sorry about it. So now we're getting more recalls from Hyundai Kia. So we're covering multiple car and SUV models from 2010 through 2019, including Hyundai's Santa Fe SUV and Kia's Sorrento SUV.

Apparently, according to the U.S. National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, the anti-lock brake control module can leak fluid and cause an electrical short, which can touch off a fire while the vehicle, are parked or being driven. I think we talked about this, although now they've expanded the recall. Yeah, because they wanted people to, don't park in the garage and park away from structures,

and they're asking you to make sure that you do that again. Well, now we're talking about like three, almost three and a half million vehicles in the U.S., telling owners, hey, uh, do you know, don't park in the garage. Yeah, don't park in the garage. In fact, don't park next to the house either. Go ahead. You just parked that thing out there in the middle of the road for a while, okay?

Yeah, the anti-lock brake control module, it can leak fluid. And then that causes an electrical short, and then that causes a fire. So we're going to get it fixed for you. Bring it out in. It's no cost to you. Oh, oh, okay. So Kia says that it will send notification letters to owners starting November 14th. And Honda on November 24th, waiting until November for this to take place.

I mean, we've already talked about this one time and now they're expanding the recall and we're not getting letters until November. So Hyundai has reported 21 fires in affected vehicles in the U.S. Another 22 thermal incidents, including smoke burning and melting of parts. Wow. Kia reported 10 fires and melting incidents. Now, I realize that 10 fires and melting institutes or thermal institutes. or thermal incidents of 21 cars is, you know, a very small percentage of 3.4 million cars. However, you don't want to be the 21 or the 10.

You don't look outside and see your car on fire or having a thermal incident. So apparently there's an O ring in the anti-lock brake motor shaft that can lose seal strength. And over time, due to the presence of moisture, dirt, and dissolved. metals and the brake fluid causes leaks. And the new fuse limits the operating current of the brake module. Oh, okay, then that's fine then. So, Kia has said that an engine compartment fire could happen in the area of the brake control unit due to an electrical short that results in excessive current.

The exact cause of the short circuit is not known, but there have been no crashes or injuries. We don't know what's causing it. But nobody's gotten hurt. Or at least they haven't told us that they've gotten hurt. So what we're doing is we're replacing one fuse with another, and the brake fluid can still leak, but that's it. Don't worry about it. Why not fix the problem?

Well, you know, it's the O ring, and you're combating a symptom and part of the problem. And we just, you know, it's a design thing. and we're not going to do that. Oh, okay. So the NHTSA is allowing the company needs to only replace a fuse. Yeah, why? And being sent interim letters immediately warning them of the problem. So, yeah, don't park them in the garage and, you know, take them in and get them hooked.

It's just really strange why we're not making this happen. Automakers have 60 days to notify owners of recalled vehicles by letter, but often the mailings can happen sooner. Yeah, and often they don't. NTSA also issued a statement saying, you ought to park outdoors. You might want to, don't park inside. Don't park in a garage.

That's not good. That's not good. So we've got 3.4 million vehicles under this recall. The NHTSA says, they've received 161 complaints of engine fires, some of which occurred in vehicles that have already been recalled.

That's more than 21 and 10, I might add. Now we're starting to get into some numbers. You can quote me on that. According, in 2018, they had received owner complaints of more than 3,100 fires

and 103 injuries and one death. Honda and Kia were fined. Yeah, you got to slap some money. Wait, you killed somebody with your O-ring thing? Yeah, we got to find you some money. You would move too slow to recall these. Wow.

So this has been going on for questions. I mean, when are we going to? We're going to pull Hyundai and Kia off the road? I don't think that's going to happen. But maybe it should. I mean, I enjoyed the Hyundai that I drove for a year. Remember I changed my name to Brandon Hyundai for a year, formerly Jeff Fisher,

drove, they let me drive a Hyundai for a year as part of the deal for their commercials and changing my name I might add to Brandon Hyundai.

Brandon was the city that the Hyundai dealership was in that was their name Brandon Hyundai. So I changed my name to Brandon Hyundai formerly Jeff Fisher.

I thought it was a good deal and it worked for a year. I got a free car for a year. But after that they thought the deal wasn't worth it. But now, thankfully I didn't have

at that time there weren't an O ring and there wasn't an O ring issue. Now, I don't think you want any of that O ring issue. So if you have an O ring issue, be sure to reach out to me on the social's Twitter or X. I'm sorry,

I just dead named, just dead named X. At Jeffrey JFR. Facebook and Instagram is Jeff Fisher Radio. You can follow me on YouTube, Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher. You can always email the show, Chewing the Fat at the Blaze.com. I did get an email

to chewing the fat. at the blaze.com and I get plenty of them. I see them all. I read them all. Thank you so much. I may not respond to them all, but I do see them. I got this email from Bridget. And I was right. Okay, so I said that, you know, Netflix was getting rid of the DVDs, right? You're not going to be able to get Netflix through the mail anymore. Friday, tomorrow, the 29th, is the final day that they're going to, you know, ship DVDs through the mail. It's over. That Netflix DVD thing, is over. And I jokingly said, well, hey, I might just hop on and, you know, order some movies that I want to see. And, you know, I'll never send it back. What am I going to do? What are they going to do?

And they're not going to do anything. It's over, right? Well, I got an email from Bridget who sent a shot of the message she received from DVD.com and Netflix. And it says, friendly reminder that we will ship our very last discs on September 29th. After that date, we will not charge you for any on-returned discs. Please enjoy them for as long as you like. Now, if that's true, I would say go to thedbd.com and take a look at their whatever they have available and order whatever you like, because as the end of tomorrow, they're all yours. With Amex Platinum, $400 in annual credits for travel and dining means you not only satisfy your travel bug, but your taste buds too. That's the powerful backing of Amex.

Conditions apply. Okay, so I'm sitting here looking through the new Uncle John's weird, wonderful world bathroom reader, which claims to scan the globe for strange stories and fantastic facts. the 36th edition of the bathroom readers institute. Brian Boone, joining me once again here on Chewing the Fat. Brian, welcome to the show. How are you? Oh, I love being here. Thank you so much for having me.

Good to see you. Good to talk to you again. You too. We have a new weird, wonderful world bathroom reader. How do these things you crack it out? One, two, a week, three a week, four a week. What are you doing? We're getting up to three a week.

Yeah. This is our big annual. Every year, every year we do at least one gigantic book, and this one's like 400-something odd pages, and everything is in here. And then we've got the side books every now and then as we see fit, but this is our baby. This is the big one. It's really, I love it. It's such, to be honest, I use it as, you know, just a conversation starter with my kids, and they're not really kids anymore, but they're teenagers and young adults. but I leave the book out and they sit down and they'll read a couple of a couple of inserts.

And then we end up talking about the stupid inserts. It's awesome. I love it. I mean, that's great. And that's such a wonderful thing to be a part of that there's, you know, I like to think there's something for everybody in here. And you flip up into a random page and you'll find something that interests you. Absolutely. Absolutely.

So this one, as you said, has a little over 400 pages. and how many, okay, so how many of your spouses are your fact finders? What's happening, man? What's the research team like for these? It is a team effort. There's a little Uncle Johns and everybody. Our spouses, our parents, like I always joke that all of our moms send us newspaper clippings.

Like, that's such a mom thing. Yeah, newspaper clippings. What are those? Yeah, local newspaper clippings, which you, you know, never, you know, even think to find online. But there's so many, you know, quirky stories and local columnists that come up with stuff. And then, you know, we get those and we research them. My wife gives me ideas all the time. My son gives me ideas all the time. So it's a... So how many of the stories? Now, obviously, all of them don't make it to the book, although

a little over 400 pages, many of them do. How many, how many of them, does Sayleigh, Mom sent you a clip and you go, Mom? That's not true. I don't know why. You go ahead and believe it if you want, but that's not true. How many times does that happen? About, you know, I'd say 50-50 good stuff versus stop sending me email forwards from 20 years ago. I do stories all the time here. I'm chewing the fat and I'll be in the middle of the story and I'm like, this is not real. This did not happen. I'm sorry. No, I don't believe it. And that's, and that's a, you know, that's a big part of these books too is the myth-busting of the, of the little fun facts that you think you do know. Like, those are one of my favorite things to write.

Just like those facts you see and they stop being in your tracks. You're like, wait, that thing I always thought I knew that was common knowledge is not remotely true. Right. Well, you have a section, right? Myth, Conception. That's got to be what that is, right? That's what you're doing. That's totally.

That's totally, you know, and like cows don't sleep standing up. Like, we just thought that was true. What? Cows don't sleep standing up. They'll like, they'll... Yes, they do. They do. Okay, if we have all seen them, we have all seen them sleeping standing up, but apparently they'll just doze off.

Like, they're basically like you or I, you know, we're sitting sitting at our desks at work might doze off for a minute or two. Right, right, right, right. Their job is to graze and chew their own cud and, you know, bear milk. And they'll just doze off standing up. But if they want to, like, you know, you. you know, go to sleep, they'll, they'll just curl up and lay down like a dog. Yeah, they're just, they're just big dogs.

Yeah. I mean, if I was able to, you know, stand down all fours, I would be sleeping on all fours, too. Well, absolutely. Okay, I don't want to talk about some more misconceptions because now I'm shocked, all right? I'm shocked right now. Cows don't sleep standing up. The Indianapolis 500 is not raced in Indianapolis. Well, okay, it kind of is.

It kind of is, but it's technically not, because it's in Speedway, which is, the, the Indianapolis Motor Speedway is so big that they built a town around it, and it's technically in the town of Speedway. I got that. I mean, okay, so now we're talking about the Dallas Cowboys don't play in Dallas. You know, the San Francisco 49ers don't play in San Francisco. I mean, I got... Sure. Sure. I get you. Well, okay, how about how toilet paper is not white for the reason you think it is?

Toilet paper is not white for the reason I think it is. What is the reason I think? Oh, yeah, yeah, okay. All right. Well, yeah, we've all had different colored toilet paper, I guess, in our lives. My mom was, oh, it's got to be blue. It's got to match the padded cushion. Okay, how we got it.

Yeah, a big fad with the, like, pink toilet paper in the 80s. I remember. Like, you know, only, only grandma's had it. Why is it white, though? Just cheap, just cheaper to make? No, it's part of, it's a side product of bleaching it for softness. They bleach it not to make it more clean to, you know, you know, a bleached white product connotes softness. But actually, when they finish up, it's, it's kind of a pale brownish gray, which isn't very appetizing for the bathroom.

So they bleach it, and then they found that the bleach actually makes it softness. So they, that's why they did it. So it's cushiony soft. That's awesome. That's actually, thank you. I appreciate it. Thank you. I don't want to use the elm leaf from my backyard.

Thank you for that. That's awesome. Okay, so how many different weird medical things do we have in this particular wonderful world of stories in the bathroom reader? because, you know, we just did a story here on Chewing about how the illustrious rat lungworm is making a stronghold here in the U.S. That's great. And when you think that it doesn't survive in humans, think again. But there's got to be some great strange medical stories that you're like, oh, no, I can't do that.

I love writing these, and I love pitching them because my editor was always very squeamish about these and hates to hear me. He's just like, they're good, they're interesting, just find them and write them up. He doesn't want to know about them. Don't talk to me about them anymore. Yeah, I love writing these. You know, you'll go through and you'll look at old medical journals and you'll find these weird case studies. Like an 80-year-old patient whose name was not revealed for honest. these reasons, complaining of a distended abdomen, and it was painful. And he also said, oh, by the way,

it's been growing for the last, oh, 10 years or so. And I should probably get it checked out, because now my leg has been swelling up for, oh, about four months or so. That's awesome. That says that means a male 100%. Why didn't you say anything? It's going to go away. It's fine. It's fine. It'll take care of itself. I'm not going to the doctor. But it turns out that he had this rare condition called giant urinary bladder. Oh. It affects less than 1% of only people aged 70 and older. And his bladder had ballooned up and it contained, wait for it, 11 liters of urine,

which is more than 20 times what a bladder can normally hold. I mean, that can't be good, right? I mean, you can quote me on that. That can't be good. But I mean, that can't be good. It took them four hours for a team of doctors four hours to drain it. So when you're thinking about how you had a bad day at work, think about the doctors who spent four hours draining a man's bladder. And then it took about a week for the bladder to shrink down and for him to be fully healthy again.

Yeah, what happens to the bladder after that? I mean, the body is pretty resilient, but still, you know, you're looking at quite some. time after it's stretched. I mean, we see people who are, you know, 800 pounds like myself, and they lose weight, unlike myself. And, you know, they end up with all this extra flab. I mean, that's got to happen with body parts as well, right? I know you, I know you don't know that. I'm just kind of guessing. It's organs are weird, though. They, uh, they, they, they seem to, a lot of them seem to grow and shrink as see fit. Like, you know, they, they, they can cut off a chunk of your, of your liver, you know, for donation and it'll grow back. But

But the bladder is essentially just a balloon. So, you know, you patch it up. How big does it get? Yeah, now I want to talk to a bladder professional. I want to know how big it would get before. Because if it expands and then breaks, you're dead. There's no way you're surviving that. No, no, no.

No, yeah, you've spread, you know, all the toxins and poisons throughout your entire insides. Right. It's just the medical term for that. But 11 times, 11 times it's normal size. So no wonder he looked like he was a very, a very large man. Yeah, a little cranky. Think about having 11 bladders. No, thank you.

Like, not a cool party trick. Yeah, I do not want that. I do not want that. Not something to bring up at dinner parties. And that would be, that's why you go to the doctor. That's why you see something's wrong. I know, baby. I know, but I just can't right now.

Okay, I just can't. You were right. I should have done something about this in 1996. You were right. That's so good. All right. So you obviously play a part in the writing of all the bathroom readers. And I appreciate you coming on, Brian.

It's good to talk to you again. What's your favorite? I don't want to hear the, oh, they're all my favorite, Jeff, and I like them all. I want the Brian Boone, Uncle John's, weird, wonderful world bathroom reader, 36th edition, favorite story? The pirates. I love pirates. I love talking like pirates. I love pirate stuff.

I love pirate movies. They're just so ridiculous and they were truly bloodthirsty, evil guys and now they're like fun. It's just kind of fascinating from historical perspective. But as that history evolves,

we get all this stuff about pirates that we think is true and is not true. You know, like pirates didn't really you know, say, Arr and Avastity Harpiartis and things like that. That actually, it only goes back. So my favorite article is pirate myths because I

wrote it and I got to just spend the day writing about pirates. But the whole talk like a pirate thing only goes back about 70 years and it's to one guy an actor, Robert Newton and he was the guy who specialized in playing pirates and all those

you know, saturated color. Right, right, right. Right. Right. Yeah. He's, you know, Long John Silver, Blackbeard, the Pirate, Treasure Island. And he just had this natural West Country English dialect. And kind of a rough, scraggly voice. And so he just made himself sound more grizzled. He kind of laid up the accent there. And with the screenwriters, they came up with these phony, you know, pirate turns of phrases,

like, scurvy dog, indie, you know. using B instead of R, you know, because a real pirate not be conjugating properly. So, and he started doing that in the 50s and 60s. So that's where we get the pirate voice from. Yeah, well, I mean, that's awesome. I mean, the Talk Like a Pirate Day, which I love knowing that everyone talks about Talk Like a Pirate today because it's my wife's birthday. And so I always remember. But, you know, it started with just some guys in their gamer.

room, right? That actually started like in the 70s or something. Yeah. But it was not that long ago. No, we should just do a talk like a pirate day. And here we have it. Because it's fun to talk like a pirate. Right. I mean, look, I spent many years in Tampa, Florida.

And every year is Gasparilla Parade. And the world turns into a pirate on Gasparilla Week. Gasparilla month at the end of January. It's so much fun. And you're right. I mean, they take Tampa, they come and they storm and they take Tampa. We celebrate being held prisoner and having the city taken by pirates. But it's fun.

Wow, I did not know about that. That sounds a little bit more fun than Mardi Gras. The Gasparilla parade is awesome. We used to broadcast. We started broadcasting the parades on the radio station. And they asked us to do it one year. And we thought, we don't want to broadcast a stupid parade. We're just going to make it sound be terrible, and they'll ask us never to come back again.

And it was so much fun that we had to do it every year. And we have to make fun of everybody. You know, you get beads and, you know, you get the people who, you know, females tend to show their breasts for beads. Sure, sure. I can't stop them, Brian. I tried. I said, no. You're only one.

Don't stop doing that. What are you going to do? Exactly. Everyone's having fun. I'll throw you the beads, hunt, but don't do that. No, don't. And they still do. I can't stop.

Anyway, so it's a lot of fun. It really is a whole bunch of fun. If you've never been, you should try to go. As much as you like pirates, it would be a lot of fun to go to Gasparilla in Tampa. Anyway, Brian Boone from Uncle Johns, thank you so much. I appreciate it. The new book is, you know, I've not even, I haven't even read half of all the tidbits in it. And it's still great.

It's fun. then it does create conversation in the family. So it's available where? You can get that anywhere. It's on Amazon. It's at your local bookstore, indie bookstores at Barnes & Noble. You can go to Portablepress.com. That's our website. I write a blog there. So you can get if you don't have a book with you and you need some, you know, reading to read right away. Got our blog on there. Get by all of our books on there. We've got, you know, 36 and all the other offshoot. So. Awesome. So does

Uncle John's not have a podcast? What are we doing? What is happening? It's coming. Okay. All right. Stay tuned, as they say. That's what I like to hear. The Inside the Bathroom Reader. Yeah, man. All right. Smells from the bathroom.

I don't know. You can call it whatever you want. Brian, thank you. I appreciate to come on to the fat today. Thank you so much. And we'll talk to you again soon. Hope so. Let's do it. Stream and subscribe to more Blaze Media content at the blaze.com. slash podcasts.