Chicks in the Office - A Conversation With Nina Parker

Episode Date: June 4, 2020

A conversation with E!'s Nina Parker. Places to donate/help: George Floyd Memorial Fund: https://www.gofundme.com/f/georgefloyd Breonna Taylor Fund: https://www.gofundme.com/f/9v4q2-justice-for-breonna-taylor Minnesota Freedom Fund: https://minnesotafreedomfund.org/ Black Visions Collective: https://www.blackvisionsmn.org/ Reclaim The Block: https://www.reclaimtheblock.org/home Campaign Zero: https://www.joincampaignzero.org/ Unicorn Riot: https://unicornriot.ninja/ Know Your Rights Camp: https://www.knowyourrightscamp.com/ The American Civil Liberties Union: https://www.aclu.org/ Fair Fight: https://fairfight.com/ The Committee to Protect Journalists: https://cpj.org/ Change.org: https://www.change.org/ NAACP: https://www.naacp.org/ Email template for George Floyd: http://tinyurl.com/emailforfloyd// Email template for Breonna Taylor: http://tinyurl.com/ycha6nuu For further resources including movies, books, TV shows, etc. visit: goodgoodgood.co/anti-racism-resources More ways to help: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/#You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/chicks-in-the-office

Hey, Chicks in the Office listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. This is state of emergency. What's up, everyone? It's Chicks in the Office with Ria and Fran, giving you that Friday energy on a Thursday. As always, this podcast is presented you by Macy's. Macy's wants everyone to know that they support our comments and our posts on social media. and the podcast that we did last time, their views align with ours,

and they want everyone to know that. Yes, and it's been great to see Macy's respond to this situation. The Macy's CEO put out a statement on their Instagram, and he had written, with a heavy heart, I alongside each of you have witnessed several days of civil unrest in many of our communities around the country. The death of George Floyd is a terrible crime that must be brought to justice. And sadly, it is just one more incident of racial injustice,

including those against Amad Arbery and Brianna Taylor that raises awareness briefly, but have not yet resulted in fundamental change. The grief, frustration, and anger that led to these protests are understandable. As a country, we can and should do better to ensure that all Americans are treated equally and fairly. In Minneapolis, Atlanta, and other cities around the country, we have reduced hours or closed doors

that are in the vicinity of ongoing protests and unrest to ensure the safety of our colleagues and customers. I am thankful to report that our colleagues in these locations are safe and accounted for. We will continue to monitor the situation, ensure that the safety of our team remains our top priority. As a company, Macy's has had a long history of having a workforce that is as diverse as the many communities we serve. That is who we are. While we cannot always control what happens outside of our stores and facilities, we can shape the culture within, one of inclusion, one that welcomes and respects all,

one that believes an ax on the principle that all of us are created equal. That was a great statement. Like you guys know, we have, Macy's is our presenting sponsor. We're really happy that they are with us in this and support us in this. And, you know, like we've always said, we love shopping in Macy's. So we recommend if you're going to do your shopping, check out Macy's. This is another podcast where, you know, I know we said previously that we're We would be trying to go back to a normal show.

But it's incredibly hard. This is what's going on in the world. This is what's going on in the world of celebrities. If you pay attention, obviously, if you pay attention, you're listening to this show. Pop culture has really surrounded all this right now. You see tons of celebrities participating in protests and speaking out on social media.

And we've seen some really great things. So we just want to continue this conversation. and we're doing that today by having a open conversation with Nina Parker, who we love, and we wanted all of you guys to hear from her for this episode. Right, absolutely. Like Fran said, you know, pop culture, it can wait right now. This is way more important. And, you know, Nina, she has a lot of important things to say.

So, you know, if you open this up and you're like, oh, you know, I wanted an escape. please, please don't do that. Please just give it a listen. And I'm telling you it is absolutely worth it. We're going to post a bunch of links in our description where people can go to to help, donations, petitions, something that we have seen on social media is a template that was made that you can easily click that will write out an email for you that will demand justice for Brianna Taylor.

We did it for George Floyd. but right now it seems like the original charge for Derek. Yeah, Derek Chauvin's charge went from third degree to second degree, and the rest of the officers have been charged. Obviously, that is not the end. You want to actually see them convicted. Right. So we'll include both links, send them,

it sends them right away to the leaders of those cities and those in charge, and you literally just have to put your name in, your city, and it's super easy. So, you know, it's, it's, we're in this, this is not just like an immediate fix, obviously. So we just got to keep, keep going, continue to learn, continue to listen, continue to donate. And I think maybe something that would be great, which I did not mention Dorea before, and I'm just going to say it now, is if everyone wants to watch 13th on Net over the weekend or if you've seen it already. We're we are together right now. We're going to watch and we can discuss it for Monday's episode. Absolutely. And I just want to mention if you don't

have the means to donate right now, but you still want to help. There are plenty of ways that people are now showing you can donate with no money by just streaming certain playlist or whatever it is. The revenue that comes from that will be donated. So we'll include that as well. Yeah. And Sephora, if you have Sephora beauty points lying around, you can redeem those as a charitable donation, which is really great. And so if you haven't checked your Sapphora account in a while and you've got points saved up, this is the perfect way to use them. Yes, so we will put all of those places to help in the description. Now we're going to get into our conversation with Nina Parker. like I said, please don't just shut this off.

It's very important. And I bet it would help you a lot if you were to just sit and listen. We are here with a very special guest, Nina Parker. She is a host and personality on E-News, Nightly Pop, dating no filter.

She's been on our show before. And if you watch E-News, you know who she is. She's someone who we've looked up to for a long time. I told you last time. I think you are fucking hilarious. And I love you. So welcome to the show. Thanks for coming on. Hi, guys. Thank you so much for having me. Yeah, we're really thankful that you found the time today to talk with us. We're really excited to have you on and have this conversation.

We just want to start off, honestly, mostly by giving you the floor and just letting you, having you discuss what you want to discuss. And first of all, I want to just ask how have you been feeling? How are you doing? Just check in on your mental health. I appreciate that. It's rough. You know, it's rough. It's not normal life. I mean, I'm used to, it's hard when you are used to juggling things that have been happening to your whole life into normal life, like, going to work and just navigating and having these, you know, uncomfortable conversations with people in general.

But it being a pandemic, you know, you're quarantining on top of everything else makes it, you know, an extremely stressful situation. So it's not always easy. I haven't been able to really unplug as much as I would have liked to because I'm so afraid I'm going to miss something. So I'm trying to decompress when I can. I haven't had the opportunity. Like right now, I have like one of my ears feel stuffed up. And I feel like it's just like I have a migraine. I feel like my body is like, okay, girl, you're going to need to take a rest. But I'm trying to navigate as well as I can. But it's hard because I do feel it responsibility to help keep people informed.

So it's my stress is coming out. I feel like in other ways. But, you know, I'm doing okay. There are people who are not doing as well as I am. So, you know, I definitely can't complain. Yeah, absolutely. And once again, thank you for coming on. Because like you said, you almost feel like a pressure to, you know, get out there and speak.

and we don't want to pressure you. It's just the fact that we've talked about this in our last podcast that we're never going to understand, we're never going to relate, we don't want to speak for people. We just want our audience and our listeners to learn and trust what you are saying is absolutely true. What you've been through, what you've been feeling your entire life is true. That's how we can hopefully become an ally. Yeah, and I think it's the time now to ask your friends questions. And also just keep in mind that the people that you're reaching out to are dealing with an immense amount of stress. So they may not have the bandwidth for you right now. So try not to take anything personally.

I know I personally haven't responded to every text. You know, and it's not a personal thing. I'm just trying to protect my peace as much as I can, that little percentage that I feel like I might have. And I don't always have the energy to give it to anybody else. So I definitely encourage people to be proactive. I think great to ask questions, but I also think utilizing the resources that we have. You know, we can find these silly videos on TikTok and Twitter. We should be able to find resources.

So really, even just searching hashtags can lead you to a place of information. People that you maybe, you know, seeking information from or probably posting on their social medias and posting links. so it's really imperative to do the work because people may not have the energy to to walk you through anything right now and it may not be personal but don't wait for anybody just try to do it on your own if you can and then if you have people in your life who are willing to you know talk to you that's amazing too it just depends on where people are at and everybody you know there are days I feel like I can help with teachable moments and there are days

where I'm like you know I've had some people reach out to me and want to talk and I'm I'm like, girl, I can't help you right now. Like, I'm just trying to not lose it and not be completely angry. So I think it just, you know, give people grace during this time because I feel like it's very high tension right now. And people don't have that normal, you know, a normal grace that we might give somebody. They may not have it in them right now. And I don't always myself. Yeah, you, this video of you have, um, has pretty much.

gone viral, we re-shared it. We thought it was amazing of you basically saying, like, now is the time to stand up the voices that you hear are so loud that if you are complicit and not saying anything, you're not helping anyone and you need those voices to step up.

Can you just elaborate kind of on what you were saying with that and how our listeners can stand up? Well, for me, I have, you know, to white co-hosts on Nightly Pop on E, who we were having a conversation about allyship. And I think in general, I feel like a lot of the black community feels like we're in this by ourselves. You deal with like microaggressions at work, you know, sometimes, or in social situations

where people make you feel like you're crazy or like people will discuss situations of discrimination or bias. and there's been so many times where I've just been told, oh, you know, it's not what you think. This is not that situation. So you start to feel like you can't talk to anybody who hasn't been through it. Like there are so many times where I've experienced a bias where I've been told I'm, you know, being dramatic or I'm seeing something that's not there. So sometimes the only refuge that I find are people who look like me who have had those same experiences. I think now people are talking about it more because it's just something that can.

can't be ignored any longer. And I think people see racism as one thing. Like I think there are a lot of people who haven't experienced it, especially if they're not a person of color, that their interactions with racism have been minimal. And they think racism means being a member of a white supremacist organization, burning across saying the NWRQ, that's racism. And what I need people to understand is racism comes in many forms.

And I think people have to be okay. with knowing that they have internal bias. I think we are inundated with racism in what we see and what we watch and how people are represented on TV and how, you know, who's playing a thug on,

you know, law enforcement shows. Like, I think those start from a really young age. And so we create these internal biases that sometimes we want to ignore. I think it's okay to say, you know what? I was looking at this with the wrong lens. I didn't use the right words for this.

I don't know where my frustration is coming from. I don't know why I cross the street when this group of people walk by me. I think it's okay to acknowledge that so you can deal with it because there are so many people who are like, I'm not racist. I'm not racist. I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about. That's not me.

And it doesn't help the situation because you're in this kind of denial of what you are contributing to society. And a lot of those micro-aggressions, like holding your person, somebody comes in an elevator. or, you know, wondering why someone was promoted and you weren't and questioning if they have that, you know, the same qualifications as you, that's, those are those microaggressions that contribute to this deeper misunderstanding. I think people don't want to acknowledge that. And I think it's damning.

I think it's okay to say, like, and I've had those same conversations myself, because when it's another woman, like we as women, right, if we were all somewhere, say we were at a bar, and there was just a dushy guy at the bar. And he, on paper, wasn't saying something super offensive, but in his cadences and the way he was talking to me, and the way he's leaning down, as a woman, I can look at you guys and be like, and you guys as women would be like, oh, shit, we know what's up.

The guy goes away, and I'm like, girl, and you guys are like, what a jerk. Or you would, as women, we have, like, unwritten, unwritten codes that as soon as something happens with a man, we can look at each other. and I don't have to say anything, you guys know what's up. It's the same thing with black people.

Like, there are things that happen, these, like, microaggressions where we're like, what the hell? But people who aren't a part of that think it's imaginary. So when we talk about Me Too, and we say believe women, and we, as women can understand what another woman is saying

and how annoyed we get when men don't understand, that's the same frustration I feel as a black woman, but I'm dealing with both, you know? And it's like, This is a lot to deal with. It's a lot to be a woman of color, to be a woman to deal with, like, all of these gender roles and also having to deal with colorism issues. It can be a lot so that understanding is important because sometimes I don't necessarily need you to understand,

but to pretend like it doesn't exist is a whole other level of frustration. I mean, wow, absolutely. The way that you explain that even opened up my mind. my eyes more to the situation saying, you know, I understand what you're saying, because I know that we've been through the same thing. We see a guy where like, oh, we know that where this is going. So to put that in a perspective where that also matters to the black community, I think it's such a strong message for people to hear that you guys have been going through this since you were born. Yeah. And I think, you know, I've also gotten people who are like hitting me up like, I am so sorry.

And I'm like, I don't need you to feel pity for me. Like, I'm not sad to be black. Like, I love being black. It's everything. We move the culture. It's an amazing thing. What I don't love is the systemic racism that has been going on for so many years that has contributed to some of the biggest transgressions that I've seen faced in humanity.

So I think, you know, nobody wants pity. Nobody wants that. I think it's just that. And don't, and please, please, don't hit up your black friends just be like, I just want to hug you. I'm so sorry. Because I think it's just in us to want to comfort people that we care about or just being touched by something, but try to channel that energy in a way that it doesn't feel like it's coming across like, damn, I'm so sorry you're black, because I don't think there are people who feel

bad being black. I think what we crave is understanding and what we crave is, you know, it's like people are fighting to just be treated the same. It's not, you know, it's like it's crazy to me when people get so upset about like the Black Lives Matter comment because it's like if we all live in a neighborhood and there is for some reason my house is blue and your your houses are all tan and for whatever reason there's groups of people that just hate blue houses so every time they come and send the neighborhood they just consistently are throwing garbage in my yard they're consistently just messing with my blue house and for whatever reason your tan houses just aren't effective we're in this neighborhood together we see each other

we're friendly, but for whatever reason, there's this group that continuously harasses our neighborhood and messes with my house because it's blue. It's the way I bought it. I don't have money to change it. It's just the way it is, but everything else is the same, right? And then one day, somebody decides to burn down my blue house. Of course your tan houses matter, but I need the fire department to go ahead and handle this fire right now because it's been consistently dealt with. I've put in police reports. I don't know why. It's just like, of course all lives do matter, but we're talking about my black life. We're talking about this house that's been consistently broken down over years that's been consistently being being treated differently in this neighborhood. And it's like, I don't understand if black lives matter,

if all lives matter to people, why you're not up as upset as I am? If my life matters as much as yours, why aren't you more upset as how people are being treated? So it's obviously used to be divisive. And that's what people are upset about. People aren't upset about the words. People are upset about the way that it's used to be divisive when people are saying don't kill us. Absolutely. And I think, like you said, when you're saying all lives matter, how are you even believing that's true right now? Like that is clearly not true. So you saying all lives matter is just straight up saying, yeah, I don't get it because clearly that's not true. We're all. this would not be going on. Choosing not to get it

because I feel like at this point, I think when everything started happening in Ferguson in 2016 and these movements really became prominent, like we've had more than enough time to educate ourselves. Like if I put up Black Lives Matter and the first thing someone comes back with is All Lives Matter,

I know that you are just committed to misunderstanding me on purpose. Like at this point, you know better. So to me, that's just saying you don't care. And I'd rather you just say that. Instead of writing, all lives matter, I'd rather you just tell me you don't give a shit. And then we can both move on because I'm not going to spend time trying to educate somebody who was committed to

misunderstanding me when I can be using that energy better serve my community. Definitely. Social media has been such a big thing right now, obviously because it gives everyone access to these videos and these statements and to see what's going on. Blackout Tuesday was a huge thing on Instagram. I was curious what your thoughts were on Blackout Tuesday and how people can use social media as a way to actually help and not just say, oh, look, I posted this, so I helped. I mean, I think the premise was so convoluted. So I think when I got the information, which you know, this is social media activism.

So it was like when I got it, it was to me, it was kind of started with the music industry. And then from what I was understanding, it was a day to stop. being focused on yourself. It was a day to say it's not a time to promote your projects. It's not a time to post a selfie. This is a time to call attention and action to black issues. So that's what I took it as. Some people posted it and then just went ghost for 24 hours, didn't post resources, didn't promote someone's project, didn't promote black own business. They just were like, okay, here's this black square and I'm out. And I didn't feel like that was the point, especially on a day where we should have been encouraging voting and, you know, ways to kind of change.

So I think that it's, you know, the intent was good. I think like anything with the game of telephone, the message got misconstrued. But I think that, you know, I want people to get involved. And I know everybody's doing it in the level that they can. So posting the Black Square, okay, it's a start because sometimes some people, And I'm sure you saw that on your own timeline was the first time. They said anything was this black square. Some of them didn't have a caption.

Some didn't know what to hashtag. But I think, you know, if you just posted this black square, now you're going about your business, then you missed the point. It was a specific call to action. So if you just took it to, you know, it's not a, I feel like some people are using this movement, almost like an influencer uses the opening of a new store. Like it's something to just pose in front of.

Like, it's not that. And I think if you're seeing that specifically, that's okay to call out. Like, I've seen some things where I've just been like, I can't believe this is how you're utilizing this moment. Like, I can't believe you, to be educated and smart and work and have friends who are black to be this ignorant has to be willful. Because how can you be, how can you not understand what's going on? Because there are things that are going on and movements that are happening that I

didn't have anything to do with me and I still was able to have the empathy to understand it and the power of it. And so I think at this point, you guys, if people aren't doing anything, it's because they don't want to. Yeah. Right. And, you know, for the people listening who, you know, maybe you did post a Black Square and you felt like, hey, that was your part. Listen to what Nina said and realize that's, that's not it. Like, you can't just end there now. You know, you may not have a huge platform, you may not have a million followers, but if one person sees a link to resources, then that person will see that. Maybe that person will tell a friend and that friend will tell somebody and then, you know, the chain continues. People think like if they have like 200,

300, 300 followers, they don't have influence. I have a, I have a friend who was white and we are, we talk all the time. And she didn't post anything. And she posted the black square. and I had to message her and I was like, you know, I was wondering when you were going to say something because your friends are paying attention. And I wasn't hitting her up to post. But once she did, I was just like, it really took you a long time. And she said to me, you know, I'm actually in Minneapolis. Like I flew there. I'm actually on the ground. And I said, that's why it's important to say something because I didn't know that. I didn't know you were there because you just posted this black square and you've been completely quiet. And while it is, it's super important to be, hands on and donate and be involved, it's also important to tell people what you're doing because people, more importantly than me than a black person, the people who look like you, who may be on the fence too, might need that spark. Be that spark, even if it's for two people, be the person to have those uncomfortable conversations because I promise you it's going to weed out people that you didn't even know they felt a certain way. And what a blessing to know what you're

dealing with and have those uncomfortable conversations so you can have real ones in your life because for me, I don't want nobody sitting on the fence in my life. Like, it's open my eyes. I don't want to go to brunch with you and listen to hip-hop and talk about black issues with you

if you weren't 10 toes down with me on this issue. I don't want that. When things start to get better because one day they will, don't call me for brunch, girl. Don't call me, you know what I mean, to promote your project when you and work with black people when it came to our survival, you were silent.

Like, people are watching. Absolutely. And I think that, you know, you mentioned like it's like you're weeding out people and that's a blessing. We talked about this, you know, before doing our last podcast. We were like, you know, we can't do a pop culture podcast. This is ridiculous. We need to talk about this. And it's actually like, you know, you see people complaining all the time.

oh, I lost followers, I lost followers, I lost followers. Who gives a shit? If people are unfollowing you because of what you said right now, good. Like, you don't want those people following you. I don't, I know I don't. Yeah. Yeah, and it's funny because I, you know, I was talking about this with Morgan on my show, and she was, you know, we're talking about her allyship,

and she was just saying for a while she didn't know what to say. And when she posted, she said she couldn't believe the amount of DMs that she was getting. because I think she said she thought people thought because she's rich, she's white, that she was instantly conservative. And she was like, it's just so far from who I am. And I was like, that's why it's important to let people know. And if you're conservative, fine. Being conservative doesn't always mean that you condone racism.

But it definitely means you have to. So if you don't, that's always been my thing. It's like, if you don't condone this behavior, why would you stay silent? It doesn't make sense to me. And I think to think that your voice isn't important, whether you got five followers or five million is a disservice to not only you, but people around you. It's never been more important. When we look at the history books, we look at the 50s and 60s when we were talking about integration and segregation and we see those posters and you see black people walking through this line and you see people yelling at them and pointing at them. This is like that.

What side of history do you want to be on when our country? kids look back and see this and you look like a fool because you didn't say something or because you just didn't want to create a wave. This is not the time. Like this is complete civil unrest from generations of mistreatment. And if you think now is the time to be quiet and post about scones, I don't know what to tell you. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's crazy because you do see the people who are on the fence. And if there was ever a time, to jump to the other side of the fence and make it known what you stand for, what you believe in, now's the time.

And for the girls who listen to us, who have messaged us and said, like, they're not really sure they feel this way, they agree with us, but they're not really sure how to actively participate. What do you think are like the best first steps to take? Like, what do you feel as a human being? Yeah. You say what happened to George Floyd was unacceptable? Post it. If you say, I stand with everybody being treated equally and I stand against depression, post that.

Start simple. Start at the simplest place. And watch how many people who don't agree with you come out for you saying something so human. Watch people who have a problem with you saying that people are equal. Like, oh, something super simple. and see what people have to say. And that's where you're going to get your strength from, because it doesn't matter how simple you start. If someone is racist and intent on misunderstanding you, they don't give a shit what you post.

And that's the point. So you might as well go hard because they're going to have a problem either way. Right. And how do you think that us and other people can activate off of social media? Because I know right now, like, it's very important. Keep posting. Keep writing what you think.

but also when I put my phone down, I'm like, I'm thinking about it and I'm just like, what can I do right now that's going to help? And I think it's different for everybody, you know? It's a pandemic going on. So obviously there are other things that could be a hindrance to you. You know, there are people who are disabled. There are people who have, you know, immune diseases that can't go out and protest. But, you know, if you're making phone calls, if you're sending emails, if you are, posting on social media and getting in touch with groups and seeing what you can do to help. You know, they might need people just to make phone calls for them. If you're able to reach out to local organizations and see what they might need, maybe you can't go out and protest, but maybe you can go and help in one centralized place and help with them prep things for people who are going to go protest.

You know, there are a lot of ways that you can help and you just have to ask. And I don't think there's any shortage of people needing extra sets of mouths and hands and emails, you know, and then also writing to your government officials because, you know, as much as we are in this fight, allyship is really important. And if you're watching these protests

and you see how different the police can act when there are people who are not black a part of these protests, when you see them being aggressive but change that aggression sometimes, when there's someone else that's right there next to them, that should show. you like the fight that we're in. So I think, you know, it can start in the smallest of scales.

It can start. But, you know, I know I've been donating a lot. I've been just trying to see who needs resources. And, you know, start small because a lot of times you'll start small, ask what needs to be done. And someone might say nothing. And then they can call you next week and be like, yo, we need your help. So I think it's just letting people also know that you're available. And don't be frustrated if you feel like you're not doing enough. Do what you can. Decompress when you can because this is not something that's going to be. over in two weeks. Like as we've talked about living with COVID-19, this is also something now, like things are not going to go back to normal. Like our normal that we had before this is done.

So you might as well get involved in any way that you can because if you want things to get better, it's going to start literally with you. Right. Yeah. And, you know, we've been taking the steps to, you know, donate, sign petitions, send emails, do calls. And I think that what I'm seeing and, you know, thinking about the future because I don't want to be one of those people who does it now. And then in two weeks from now, I'm like, okay, I did it. You know, sign up for the emails that are going to consistently push out emails to you that remind you, okay, I need to help. Because we've all, we've all, you know, shopped on a website where we get emails every day and

we see them. Yeah. Do that with this as well. Absolutely. And having conversations is really important to you guys. I have to tell you, I used to work at CBS. years ago and I was doing on-air work there. This had to be like 2014 and there was a young white lady that I worked with that just we just never seen the click. It just always seemed like

she just, from my first day, it felt like she just didn't like me. And it always just felt like these little microaggressions, she would tell our boss I was being aggressive with her. And it would be, it was so weird to me. And I finally realized she had a problem because I was black. And I never went to HR about it because that's a whole other issue about feeling comfortable in those types of situations. But I actually, she ended up having to work with me on a project. And we had to go to the NAACP Image Awards. And so we had to ride together. We had to go.

And for a while I was angry at her. Like for a while, we were just beefing because I was like, you don't talk to me crazy and act crazy. I can get the energy right back. But that day I just had more tolerance. and I think something spoke to my spirit. And so we went. And in the car, she was just like, I'm really nervous about going to the image awards.

And I was like, what are you nervous? Why are you nervous about going to a black event? And she was just like, well, I'm going to be like one of the only white people there. And I'm like, girl, how do you think I feel at work every day? And I'm like, it's crazy to me that you're nervous at an event with like some of the wealthiest people. in the black entertainment industry. People are going to be in Texas and you're nervous. And that was weird to me,

but also very telling about her experiences. And, you know, people think, because you live in L.A. or something, a major city and you work in entertainment that that doesn't happen. And it does. And so I had it instead of getting offended that day, I had patience. And I talked to her about it.

We hosted the event and she had like tears at the end. And she was just, we were walking to the car. And she was like, wow, that was such a beautiful event. And I'm like, yeah. I need you to be able to see people who don't look like you as human beings and in a lot of ways the same. And she cried for a really long time outside in a parking lot and was just like, I feel like I've been looking at things with such a different lens with you personally, with race in general.

And she was like, I'm really embarrassed about how I've been feeling. And it wasn't until I was able to meet her with a little bit of patience. that she was able to see me in a different way. And sometimes I think it's just you're so fed up with being treated a certain way that you don't want to have the patience. And it's not your responsibility to teach people. But if you have the opportunity to do so, it could change.

So I say all that to say that it sparked something in her. She left the company maybe a year later, just for budget reasons, moved away. And now she works for a community organization that works in like getting like, equal funding for different communities. And she's married now. She has a kid.

And she DM'd me about two years ago and was like, our conversation completely changed my life. Like, I'm working towards equality every day now. Like, that's my job. And she was like, I have a son now. And it's my job to make sure and educate him on the differences between people. She had grown so much in two years and done the work and worked with the ACLU and had really just like completely changed her point of view from going from these micro,

microaggressions to someone who just had complete empathy. And she was apologizing and just so sad. And I was like, girl, like, you did your own work. Like, I just helped kind of spark this thing. And she said that she had had so many conversations with people in her family and ended some relationships, but also helped grow some relationships in her own family. And that one conversation we had, just the one, completely changed the trajectory of her thinking and how she had to hold herself responsible.

and it sticks with me. And she messaged me recently with all of this going on. But to this day, we're still cordial and we speak because she talked about how one conversation completely changed her. And that will happen for everybody. Some people will hear it and it doesn't mean anything. But if you have enough conversations with people being open and honest, I truly believe it will make a difference.

And I'm really an advocate of having uncomfortable. Like, I'm confident. like I like to get in the mud and talk. Like I don't want to glaze over nothing. I don't want you to have any passive aggressive feelings towards me. Let's get it out because I like to know what I'm dealing with. Whether you hate me, whether you love me, let me know so we can navigate after that. Let's not pretend.

I'm tired of living in a pretend world. Like, you know, let's have those conversations with the people so you know who has your back. Because I promise you, if they don't give a down about black people, they don't go care about you either. Yeah. Nina, thank you so much for talking with us. Like you said, it's so important to have these conversations. We're so lucky to get to have this conversation with you. And we hope that we can have more conversations like this.

So we're really looking forward to it. And just want to thank you so much for coming on and talking with us. You know, I appreciate you guys. You guys, we keep in touch on social media. I love you both. And I appreciate you reaching out during this time, asking me how I am. It means of world to me. And just understand that the goal.

is not perfection, it's just progress. Yeah. Absolutely. Before you go, is there any places right now that we can link in our description on the podcast that you have been really passionate about donating to or petitions and whatnot? Because we've put out a bunch of links, but I'm just curious as to ones that you are very passionate about. For me, I think just look up the bailout funds in your cities and I know some of them, some of those change. But for me, there are people who are peacefully protesting that are being arrested and incarcerated,

Some people, you know, are not being accounted for for a certain amount of time. So these bailout funds really help try to locate people and try to help people who are peacefully protesting for change. You know, change.org, NAACP, also Black Lives Matter. They're all giving invaluable resources. All of those websites will give valuable resources towards any type of functioning, what's going on in your own community. And, you know, a lot of these places have their own L.A. chapters or city, city, citywide chapters, I should say, where you can utilize links and be able to also see people who they're partnering with. Amazing. Thank you so much, Nina. We love you and we can't wait to talk to you again soon.

Yes, you guys stay safe. Love you back. You too. Bye. I try to drink it away. I tried to put one in the air. I tried to dance it away. I tried to change it with my hate. Credit card below Thought a new dress would make it better I tried to work it away But that just made me even sadder To keep myself busy

I ran around in circles think I made myself dizzy I snapped it away I sexed it away I read it away Away Try to run it Thought in my head Be feeling clearer

I travel 70s day Thought moving around Make me feel bad My lover Thought if I was alone Then maybe I could recover To ride it away Or cry it away