Chicks in the Office - Chelsea Handler Interview + Lord Have Mercy on Britney’s Family’s Souls

Episode Date: October 18, 2021

Britney Spears shades family (9:11-16:20). Pieper & Brendan still together (16:21-25:15). Madison LeCroy engaged (27:35-33:10). Interview with the legend Chelsea Handler – talking her tour Vaccinated and Horny + much more! (34:56-1:05:42). CITO merch > http://bit.ly/citomerch. Follow us on Instagram @chicksintheoffice and on Twitter @chicksintheoff + subscribe to our Snapchat show > http://bit.ly/thegroupchat & our YouTube > http://bit.ly/CITOYOUTUBE.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/chicks-in-the-office

Hey, Chicks in the Office listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon music. What's it up, everyone? It's Chicks in the Office with Rianne, giving you that Friday energy on a Monday. And it is Sunday energy that I have indeed. How about you, Francesca?

Friday energy is high. I have had a beautiful two days. Florida and I'm going to my last Jonas tour stop of this store. I feel like I've been on tour with them. And this is the final stop, West Palm Beach, super excited. It's a small venue, intimate. I'm, you know, it's the last one. I'm excited. It's just wrapping it up for a nice little Jonas fall. That sounds beautiful. I'm happy for you, especially seeing them in Florida. That's going to be so fun. And you know what? Good for you enjoying that Florida weather right now. beautiful you got a beach day did the whole when a little Saturday night square

grouper it was it was great I did see you at the square grouper was I jealous yes yeah we rung our new year in at the square grouper last year yeah and to me the square groupers is our special place and I saw I saw you with other people of the square grouper and I got I got a little emotional another fantastic band. They just have some of the best characters that play. I know. I'm done now.

I'm done now. Missed you, that was it. It was a lovely, lovely time, excited for this last show. Feeling good. A lot of travel for us

in these last few days upcoming. I think, you know, between Boston and Philly for the live shows, it was great because they were trains. We were kind of like in and out pretty quick. Nashville, Chicago, now we're flying. So we got like short weeks, Wednesday, coming home Monday, flying Wednesday.

We're busy, busy bees. We are reaching. Our life. Yeah, Tor life. We're reaching the big leagues. Yeah, Ria's got to start resting on the weekends to prepare for the, for the traveling during the week. She did not do that, but still had a great weekend. And we went to Philly.

Obviously, we had our show in Philly Thursday night. Some crowd in Philly, some crowd, rowdy motherfuckers in Philly. Yeah, Philly was very lively is the way I'm going to describe it. Philly was great. I mean, you guys know, I love Philly, but I think that my qualms really come down to the venue because I think that it felt so loud because the other side of the bar, they just kept as a bar. So people were just chat like watching football, hanging, drinking.

on the other side of the bar, so it just sounded so loud. And the speakers just not really built for the show. Yeah, the speakers had, we found out mid-show that the speakers had like a cap on them, that they could only reach a certain volume. And so, yeah, it's been tough.

We're obviously working out a lot of kinks. I know we've gotten a ton of messages being like, you guys, great show. Like, wish we could have heard you. We're like, yeah, us too. Yeah, I wish I could have heard Fran. She wishes she could have heard me. Yeah.

It's, it's, it's, it's hard because we're doing these at, you know, bars and we're getting these outside people that we don't know who are coming in and like working audio and working sound and all these things. And they're just like not good at their jobs. Knock on wood, though. I don't see it being issued for any future stops. Yes, I think that we have this under control going into the future. But it was still a lot of fun. People had a great fucking time. Shout out to Ron and little sass who came and they surprised us with Trent, which was unbelievable. I've never been

surprised with anything in my life. Like nobody's ever like surprised me with anything. I feel like that's kind of sad. But this was my first surprise ever, was being surprised with Trent. And I... You reacted like it was your first surprise ever. Yeah, I reacted like Harry Stahl showed up to me.

Yeah, you did. The warm embrace that Trent and I had, I will remember forever. You jumped up and down. Like, I did not realize your reaction in the moment. I didn't realize it either. until I watched the video and was like, oh my God. Sure.

But we really had no idea. Like the whole time we're like, guys, we, Trent's out coming. And then there was like a little Russell in the back of the crowd. And I looked at you. And I was like, I mean, Trent's not here. Like, what are they doing? And then there was a eruption. We were so cool.

We were getting so upset with Roan because we were like, Roan kept saying in the crowd. Like, don't you guys wish Trent was here? And we were like, shut up. grown like yes they do so like let's not remind them that he's not all of a sudden he comes in the whole crowd goes crazy i went crazier than the crowd like it just Trent is just a just a feel good guy and and he turns into another human being walking up on stage it's like this isn't Trent I also don't think people know this but he had to like jump like a five over a five foot fence in the back of the venue to sneak in because I didn't want anyone to see him so shout out to

trend for having like a big vertical apparently. Yeah. Extremely athletic move from him all around. You know, Zach Clark was our special guest as well. And he was awesome. Stop before he went to the Eagles game. He was giving us a little inside look at his cute vacation with Tasha, like just an absolute gem of a guy.

He is a, he's a serious guy, but he's so sweet and means so well. And he just like, he says the nicest things to Ray and I. You know, he messaged us afterwards. and was just like what you two have created is so awesome. You know, thanks for letting me be a part of it. Like, he's just such a sweetheart. I just love him. He really is a stand-up guy.

It was great having him there. It was a fun show. Like I said, it was rowdy. We had a good time, though. Yeah, thanks, Philly. We're going to Nashville next. Nashville. Nashville will.

We are. Good time. I've never been to Nashville. I got my Nashville outfits ready. And I don't have my Nashville outfits ready. That's a problem. Yeah. I feel like Nashville's a very specific.

Are you wearing cowboy boots? Yeah. Yeah. I do have cowboy boots to wear. I do. I had a feeling. Yeah. Nashville will be a good time.

So we're excited for that. And we have a great fun episode today. Not only do we have some topics to go over, but we have Chelsea Handler on the podcast today. And we really did. Chelsea Handler. Yes. We really did a very fun interview with her that I think people are really going to love. And let's get into it.

We got Britney Spears, new Instagram caption, giving us more about her family, Brendan and Piper an update on their relationship. And Madison LaCroix is engaged. And like I said, we have the interview with Chelsea Handler. And by the way, trivia, we know that we didn't do it this week or last week. We will be returning to trivia next week. Like we said, busy schedule right now because of the tour. We don't want you guys to think we're slagging with the podcast. We obviously care about this podcast more than our own lives because or else we wouldn't be going on this tour.

So we hadn't had time to film trivia, but we will be back with trivia next Monday. So let's get into it starting off with Britney Spears. Right now, I got that Sunday feeling, you know, feeling like maybe haven't really been taking care of myself in the best way this weekend, right? You know, we got on tour, partying a little bit, eating like shit, whatever it may be. I'm not feeling great. But I remembered that I end being taken care of by care of because I'm, I'm taking my vitamins every single day. You guys know that we've talked about this quiz before on CARob,

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Every week, it seems like Britney Spears gives us more reasons to dislike her family by blowing up their spots in her Instagram captions. Yes, and I'm here for it, honestly. There's two different things that we want that we can talk about. One is, you know, Jamie Lynn Spears changed the name of her book. It was supposed to be called, I Must Confess. Now it's called Things I Should Have Said. Everyone freaked out about the original title.

She changed it. So Brittany posted a caption, you know, about writing a book. Like, ooh, maybe I should write a book. like what two options were captions. Very clearly the shade is there. And then this weekend, she posted a full long caption. The picture was a Christmas tree.

It was lit up. It was decorated. It was in her house. And she wrote, I'll just be honest and say, I've waited so long to be free from the situation I'm in. And now that it's here,

I'm scared to do anything because I'm afraid I'll make a mistake. For so many years, I was always told if I succeeded at things, it could end. And it never did. I work so hard, but now that it's here and getting closer and closer to ending, I'm very happy, but there's a lot of things that scare me.

The paths run through the trees and onto the road when I drive home and it's creepy. And I have to drive by in elementary school. The kids are a big, the kids are a big deal, but so am I. I don't like that they try to scare me and jump out like they do. It's like they want me to do something crazy. So like I said, I'm fearful of doing something wrong. So I won't be posting as much in a world where it's our liberty to be free. It's a shame.

I started experiencing that when I got the key to you some, my car for the first time four months ago and it's been 13 years. I haven't done anything to be treated the way I have for the past 13 years. I'm disgusted with the system and I wish I lived in another country. I'm celebrating Christmas way early this year because why not? I believe any reason to find more joy in life is a good idea and it's no secret that I've been through it in the past so I might have to do things a little differently from now on. Lord have mercy on my family souls if I ever do an interview. In the meantime, I'm saying clear of the business, which is all I've ever know my whole life, which is why this is so very confusing to me. Anyway, God bless you all. So a lot. She's talking about

a lot, but it's just it's heartbreaking because it does make sense of why we see her doing things and everyone's still so critical every little thing that she does. So she's like, I don't want to do the wrong thing. Like if I do something kooky and fun, like whatever. Like do I, am I going to get me fun of? Do people think that I'm doing the wrong thing? Am I going to get in trouble somehow? And the fact that like she hasn't had her like just got the keys to her car back finally. And Lord have mercy on her family souls, man. I just, I want her to do a fucking Oprah sit down like Harry and Megan and just

let it all rip. Please for the love of God. And we talked about this a couple of times with Brittany that I feel like it's sad that she can't post whatever she wants on social media because people are going to judge her. But at the same time, for her own sanity and for her own happiness, getting off social media probably would help her in the long run. Like I think she would be happier even though it sucks like, yeah, she can't post whatever she wants and people should be able to post wherever they want.

Yeah. How badly do you need to post? You know, it comes down to that. And I think the more she talks about this, the more we realize how fucked up her family has been. And the more we realize the restraint she has had all these years. And now it's all finally coming out one by one. Like she's letting it all out slowly as the weeks go on. And I think that her family should be shaken in their boots a little bit.

I think that Jamie Lindspir should be shaken in her boots a little bit because you can't say you're writing a book. Name it. I must confess. it's fucking sickening. It's actually weird. It's creepy to do that to your own sister. It's not like a pop star that you really liked and whatever. It's your own sister that you're doing this to.

And it's creepy and it's weird. And it gives me a weird chill down my spine that somebody could do this to their family. And I said this at the live show and I'll say it here. I want to revoke Jamie Lynn Spears's appearance on this podcast. Like I feel like we were all bamboozled. and I don't think they were up to anything good. And we should have been worn. I know.

She really did paint it. She really painted a picture. She really painted a picture that she and Brittany had a good relationship. Yeah. And it was clearly a lie because it seems like that's really not the case at all. And maybe, you know, it's one of those things that, you know, when you have a friendship with somebody or a relationship with somebody and you're in it and you feel like everything's fine, you're like brushing it all off.

And then when you're out of it, you're like, no. those things like weren't okay. And I feel like that's kind of what's happening with Brittany right now. I was like maybe she was okay with Jamie, Jamie Lynn Spears. But as soon as she stepped out of it, she realized, no,

what my sister was doing to me is not okay. What my family is doing to me is not okay. And I'm glad that she stepped into that space now because being in the other space of it is scary, like being like in denial of what's happening to you. So now I feel happy for Brittany and I feel like she's slowly like finding herself again is what it seems. But I do think,

you know, social media is not the end-all, be-all. She doesn't have to be on there. And I think she'll be happier if she posts a little less. Yeah. Yeah, no, I definitely agree with you because, like she said, there's just, she doesn't unfortunately have, like, a lot of the same freedoms where she can just post whatever she wants to millions of people and there, and everyone's not going to dissect every little thing that it says or that the picture says or whatever. So that is where it is at, right now. But yeah, I just think that if she wants to put up her Christmas tree in October, do what you want, girl. You hang that Christmas tree. You light that bad boy up. You celebrate

Christmas all year round. If that's what you want because now you actually can make these decisions for yourself. And that is something I do think we have to keep in the front of our brains when she is sharing these things that we're like, maybe that's a little weird. It's like, No, it's not for her because she's not just a regular old person following, you know, going day by day like any other normal human would. Not normal is the wrong word. Like just whatever is the standard of just living your day, day by day, not doing anything crazy, not disrupting anything. But having now the ability to just do what pops into her head and actually go out and be able to do it. So when those things happen, now, she's going to do it because she wasn't able to do it before.

So she should be able to celebrate Christmas whenever she wants. And we're just going to put that Oprah interview energy out there and hope that that happens. A couple of weeks back, we talked about Brendan and Piper's relationship. It seemed like it may have gone out the window. They were, you know, breaking up. It wasn't going well. Now it has been revealed on the Happy Hour podcast that they actually are, still together.

Yeah, apparently that was just a rumor. I don't know. It's just like, I think that stem from us weekly. It's interesting because it does feel like they have just been feeding us weekly information themselves. So like when they reported that they were broken up, I was like, yeah, well, somebody, one of them probably told us weekly themselves. But here they are.

Here's Piper saying that they aren't. broken up. She told Becca Kruvren saying, the reason we didn't choose to go public like everybody else on the show was just because our experience was a little bit different, obviously. We tainted our own experience in that way. So we're kind of working on ourselves and each other and we're focusing on being a couple before taking that public. She said, obviously, this is an easy thing to go through, that she was actually, you know, upset watching what, Brandon, Brendan,

Jesus Christ, what Brendan did to Natasha and didn't like how that played out. That's something that they haven't even really fully talked about. I don't know. The whole interview was really kind of bizarre. It was like that she like didn't like that, but they haven't totally worked through those things,

but they're working through things. And I don't know, they're probably just salty that they didn't get to post cute IGTV videos, like all the other couples. And they haven't been able to go out and be so, and, you know, be out in the open and loving on each other like all these other couples are. But at this point, everything that happened made them stronger. And they're right now they are in a relationship.

That's where they stand right now. Here's the thing. Obviously what they both did was fucked up. I think we all can agree on that. Yeah. What I think Brennan Piper should have done after that is go full in with their relationship. like post the cute videos, post the cute pictures, go out in public, have a good time, show people that you really like each other because then they're going to be like, oh, they actually really

like each other. Why don't we back up and like, okay, these two really like each other. Like, it's kind of like, this is so fucked up that I'm even comparing these two things and they're like really not similar. But hear me out here. It's like Josh Richards, Jaden and Nessa, right? Like when when everyone was so upset with Jaden and Nessa, but now everyone loves Jaden and S. Because they're like, oh my God, Jaden and S are so cute. They really do like each other. Like, all right, we'll just let them be because they went in. They were like, all right, fuck it.

We really like each other. We're just going to like show everyone that. And people respect that. With Brennan and Piper, they look like a bunch of cowards like turtling into their shells afraid to be a couple because of everyone's reaction, which I also understand. Like at the end of the day, you've got to say, fuck it so that people can, like, get over it. Now you're just, like, making things worse for yourself. They're not going to last, but, like, I'm not actively rooting against that.

Like, I think if they want to be together, they should be together, but they're being weird about it. And I personally don't even think that they have, like, those cute stuff queued up because their relationship has just doesn't feel like it's been like that or it's just been strained where they are. being like, no, we're together, but, you know, we're working through our things. I just, I find it very bizarre that this show has been over now and that episodes aired months ago that Becca asked like, oh, you know, how did you guys kind of talk that out with Brendan leading Natasha on and how do you feel about that? And she's like, basically said that they haven't really talked it all out. So it was like, like, what?

What are you doing? What's happening? wait like how long we wait in right like you guys are you just putting this conversation off like you don't have you don't want to talk about it you're not ever going to talk about it it's like saying she didn't like it but like they're still together it's so bizarre and yeah this is just it's just not something that I can invest anytime in because it's a couple that you're like oh they end up together that's nice you know maybe that is uh somewhat of a happy ending.

Like I feel like if I'm Natasha, you want them to be together because it's like, oh, if you really are going to put me through all that shit, you might as well fucking be a couple now. You're really going to break up. Like you weren't even that serious to begin with.

And you've fucked around with me like that much. And now you're not even going to date. That's what I'm saying. It's like, um, like who knows what's going on with them? It probably did strain their relationship. But if their relationship,

if they really liked each other that much, it wouldn't strain the relationship. So like let's just give it up or go all in. I don't care about these two. I really just don't. And I don't care for them going on podcast, like whatever. You know what I'm saying? Like just fucking break up and I know.

And I know social media is mean and I know that like if they were to like, I think they would get destroyed if they were really overly posting and doing all those things. So it does feel like they've taken a break from it for a while. but if they can make it work with each other, then good for them, but they're just not going to have everyone's, like, emotional investment as you are now, like with couples like Abigail and Noah,

Thomas and Becca, who didn't make it on the show, but, like, now are so having the time of their goddamn lives, like living enough of music, festivals and being all cute and just out and having fun. Like that's, they're probably watching that being like, damn,

we wish that was us, but we really fucked this up. Could have been, but the thing is, they have friends, right, in the nation. Yeah,

they have friends. People like them in the nation. They have people who like them. If they would have just went all in right away, I feel like people would have like, oh, okay, it always happens.

really mad at first and then they're like, ah, they're cute, we're in. Right. They just haven't been cute until like nobody's in. Right. I think they would have done it if they felt like stronger. Right. If they felt stronger about each other. They didn't even really like each other that much.

Exactly. It feels like things are probably strained for some time, even though Piper is saying that everything that happened has made them stronger, but it doesn't feel like it has. If they still haven't talked about important things that happened on the season, like, I don't know. It's just already confusing. Like, when are we talking about? talking about it. Time has passed. Christmas is coming. Exactly. Oh, by the way, I also just want to say

that Ivan's big explosive podcast, whoever gets my first episode, it's going to be gold, like the whole thing. He went on Nick Vyle's podcast and he told pretty much the exact same story. Like, I thought he was going to explain more about the phone stuff, but it literally, he's rolling with the same story that a producer left the phone in the room. And, And he just saw the room numbers. I'm so sick of these fucking people saying that they're going to, like, blow up the Bachelor and, like, reveal everything on the next podcast. They can't. They're a bunch of liars.

They have contracts. Yeah. I believe, Jed. I'm waiting on that podcast. No matter what it is. Jed will talk. One day, Jed will talk. No, there's a bunch of bullshitters.

Like, just get me on your pot. That's all they want is to get on the podcast. They got on podcast, people listen. Oh, this was the most downloaded episode because this person said they were coming on. Yeah. He spill absolutely fucking nothing. So you know what, Ivan? Don't care that you didn't come on our podcast.

Go on Mickey V's podcast and spill zero. Yeah, exactly. It's just like, I think they all want to spill everything. And then they get antsy and they say like, oh, the things I'm going to say. And then somebody from ABC reaches out like, hey, remember, you literally can't talk about anything that happened. And they're like, oh, shit. Yeah, okay.

Like, I don't want to get sued. Right. We will see your ass. for $500,000 that you do not have. Yeah, never forget. They literally sued Luke P. They straight up sued Luke P for like talking about shit in an interview. Enough Instagram ads to afford ABC suing you.

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It really wasn't that long ago at all. What month was that? April? No. January, February? What year are we in? have no idea. What day is it? Oh my God, it really was April. It was? Yeah. Fuck yeah. I fucking nailed that. It was the first month I said. Oh, wait, March. Okay. So it was like, it was like March, April. Like, that's kind of

when all everything started hitting the fan. Fuck yeah. So quite a few last couple months. She started dating this guy, Brett. He proposed. They're engaged. She announced it on her Amazon live show. And in just perfect, like, this is why the Southern Charm guys are truly my absolute favorite is because they just love, they're petty. Like, they're all petty and I love it. Like they, whoever gave this statement to us weekly is fantastic. So this article came out being like, oh, Austin's reaction to Madison getting engaged, right?

and it's they said source one source said that he's never met the fiance he's never seen them together so he doesn't have an opinion on Brett but that when he found out he was enjoying a barbecue with Craig, Shep and Pringle when the news broke when the time comes for Austin to get engaged he won't make it into an infomercial it's like it's still so petty I I I want to hang out with these guys so fucking bad. I just want to hang out with the Southern Charm people. We, we can. We absolutely can.

I know, we can. You know what I'm upset about, and I want to give Lindsay Hubbard a little shout out. She'd DM you the other day. It was like, the winter house from here, come, whatever. We can't make it. And I'm upset. I would love to hang out these people.

I know. I know. She sent it to me, too. It was really nice. And it was just like, and I was just like, oh, God, I wish. I'm like there. I almost thought to myself, like I would actually rather go watch the Winter House premiere with all of them

instead of getting to Nashville and night early. I know. I was like, I was like, I am almost willing to move this flight to early Thursday morning to be able to do this. No, it's on Thursday though. It's on Thursday. I would do that,

but it's on Thursday. No, it's not. It's on Wednesday. No, the invite I got says October 21st. Are you sure? Yes, Francesca.

I am sure about the invite I got. That says October 21st. But the, but the, um, show premieres on October 20th. Sometimes you made me feel stupid. Oh, that's because I am stupid because it does say October 20th. Wow. I was like, no, the show like definitely premieres Wednesday night. I'm so fucking dumb sometimes.

I'm sorry. Yeah, you're right. You're 100% right. It's October 20th. I don't want to talk anymore. Oh, man. I really like that you key that up as you know. no, Fran, sometimes you make me feel stupid.

I know I'm not. This is right. Nope. I never said I know I'm not. I just said, you make me feel stupid. And then I said, I am stupid. You were pretty confident about it. You were like, I was so confident.

I really was confident. But, you know. No, it's the night before, which is why I was like, Oh, even the best fall down sometimes. But no, I'm so excited for it. I just said, I just said, the Amazon Live engagement. But it's so perfectly.

Madison at this point. The year that she's had, like, yeah, of course she announced her engagement on Amazon Live. And of course, Arod wished like her congratulations. Can't imagine that they can't imagine he likes chatting with her. But the shade from the source is just fantastic. It'll continue. I can't wait to see the Summer House, Southern Charm, like Winterhouse, I just think is going to be so good. Page and Craig, I feel like they're just a public couple now. Yeah, for sure. On their stories. They went to this, uh, like charity event this weekend. And Craig had got an award for the, for sewing down south. And it was so cute. He posted this story. And he was opening this bottle of champagne, but like, they just were sitting next to each other.

And they just locked eyes. And I was like, I see it. I see it. It's there. Like, these two are so into to each other right now. And I, God, I love it because I just love them both individually so much that getting them now together is amazing. I know. I'm really excited to like, I don't know, get to talk to them one day in person, like about this. Like, I just think that they're a really cute couple and I'm excited for it. And I can't wait to watch Winter House. I know, me too. I'm like so obsessed that like I literally was looking at watching Craig's stories. And I'm like, ah, that's Paige's apartment. I can see it. I can see in the back. It's like, so now you two, you have me invested. Congratulations. And it's just, like you said,

can't wait for winter house this week. We have a fantastic interview with the one and only Chelsea Handler coming up. You guys heard Rhee and I talking about how busy we are these last few weeks. We've just been moving around. I was saying, you know, I'm in Florida, a garren up for that last George Mother's show. So what better way for me to prep for the show to have that little me time on a Sunday than with an ice gold course light ready to go. I got them stocked in the fridge. It is the best. It's our best, it is the best, it is the best beer, is what I meant to say. Our favorite beer. We love it when we need some time to relax. So for example, today is a Sunday when I'm recording. I crack open to Corz Light. I'm watching football. I'm getting ready

for a Jonas Brothers show. It's the absolute dream. The perfect combination, truly. So there's only one beer out there that's literally made to chill. That's Corz Light. It is mountain cold refreshment made to chill. Coors Light's cold logger, cold filtered, cold packaged, literally made to chill. Crisp and refreshing as the Colorado Rockies, it is so perfect for a moment to unwind. You guys know you open your fridge. You look, you see those mounds. They're blue. You know you're ready to have a nice ice cold beer.

And take a moment to yourself. So that's why Coors Light is the one we choose when we need to unwind. So when you want to hit reset, reach for the beer that's made to chill. Get Coorslight and the new look delivered straight to your door with Trisley or Instacart by going to course. And guys, always celebrate a response. We're coming from Coors Brewing Company, Golden Colorado. Cheers.

Thank you guys. The world's most refreshing podcast. Yes. All right, everyone, we are here with a very special guest in studio, the one and only Chelsea Handler. Welcome to the show. Oh, good morning, good afternoon, girls. What time of day is it?

It's 1220. Okay, so good afternoon. Buenos Tardes, as they would say in Spain. That's not mid-afternoon. Early afternoon is what I, yeah, you're right. You're right. Early afternoon is what I meant to say, honestly. He's coming in here right now.

Oh, there we go. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Sorry, that was my father. Weird. We didn't know he was coming. Yeah, I didn't either, actually. How are you doing? How's life? Well, you're in New York. You've got all these shows going on. This is going to air after you do your beacon shows. We'll just assume they were outstanding. Yeah, we will assume they were outstanding. I'm great. I'm on tour. It's called vaccinated and a horny because I feel like that's how a lot of us are feeling after what we've been through for the last year and a half. And those of us who didn't even. even really experience any loss or anything are just fed up. So I can only imagine what people actually went through something do you feel like. Yeah.

The people who didn't experience anything are just horny. Yeah. Well, yeah. And people who are married are horny because, you know, so many people have become unfuckable during this time. I was for a little bit. If Ria was going to write a memoir right now at this current day, I think it would be titled Vaccinated and Horny.

It really would be. It's because I had a boyfriend for four years and then we broke up in May and now I've just been single the past few months. Now I'm telling you my life story. So therefore, are you, are you happily single? Yeah, yeah. Why wouldn't you be? You should enjoy yourself while you can. Yes. Because someone always comes along, right? So you got to enjoy your singleddom. Yeah, like you were enjoying yours. I was enjoying mine until I was scooped up by by a perpetrator named Joe Coy. Who, yeah, he, what did I, what did he do? He captured me. Yes. Like a flag. He He was absolutely like a flag.

He saw me in the school yard and he came and got me. And now I'm just playing the longest game of capture the flag. Yeah, it's been a very long game. It's almost 15 years. You were kidnapped and you're like, just take me. I don't really care at this point. Yeah, at a certain point, you just give in and give up, you know? Super fair.

And look, that's kind of what I think a lot. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, you guys. Joe Koy is sitting in this room right now. So unfortunately, he forgot to put on his Bose silencers, noise cancellation headphones. So he couldn't hear this interview, but he is hearing it, and I will not hear the end of it when we leave here. So now that we are coming out of, you know, hopefully the thick of COVID and lockdown and all of those things, and you are on tour, what have you like, is that kind of what your show encompasses? What are you talking about?

Is it very much like, let's talk about the year we all had doing nothing. I feel like, you know, a lot of embarrassing things happened during that year, you know, and a lot of our behavior was, was embarrassing. I mean, I was washing my takeout food with Windex for the first three months of COVID. So that was pretty embarrassing. Especially when you look back now and you're like, that's not how you're going to get it. And also you're eating Windex. So when the groceries would show up at the door and everyone's spraying their groceries before they come inside. That would do nothing.

Yeah, we had like a sole train at our house. My sister was there with, she invaded my house with her three adult children. I promptly sold my house after that. So that would never happen to me again. And we had like anytime we order takeout, there was like a line. at the door. Like we all had to leave the kitchen. Yeah. And like, I mean, it was so stupid the way we were acting. And then also your rules changed depending on who you're hanging out with, right? Like if you're hanging out with a bunch

of people who aren't wearing masks, you're like, uh, I don't know. Do I have any spine about anything? Like, am I making my own decisions or am I a follower? So it showed us a lot of how people, you know, just follow the leader, basically. Did you go back to regular hand washing? Are you back in the beginning stages? Because I know that when it, everything started happening, people were washing their hands at an extensive rate and you never thought about washing your hands that much. Are you back to the old ways or are you still washing

them a lot? I just sanitize my hands a lot. I really can't be bothered trying to squeeze soap out of like a local restroom or what are they called? Public restrooms. Yeah, that soap situation fucking annoys the shit out of me. So I just, I prefer the sanitizer situation is great for all of us or you just care. Killed 99%. Yeah.

That's what they say. Yeah, 99%. That's all I'm trying to get rid of. I don't care about that last 1%. I want the 1% on there to keep me, you know, real's character. And a wet wife. You can carry those with you. Those can work for multiple situations. So, you know, I think we're all just living in a safer, healthier environment. I didn't realize how disgusting everybody was, you know. And myself included, like, how dirty and what a germ carrier I was. And now when you fly and you look in between the, your seat and the window into that little crevice, you're like, what the fuck are we doing? Why are we allowed to fly under these conditions.

But then you think to yourself, we've been okay, right? Like for the most part, we've been all right. So I guess maybe the germs aren't that bad. It just changes your thoughts. Because now when I'm on a plane and I see everyone with their wipe and they're cleaning the tray table and their armchair. I'm like, we probably should have been doing this already. Yeah. Like you said, people are pretty gross.

People are really gross. I mean, you've flown before. So you've seen what's out there. And, you know, that's, yeah. So it's good to carry wet wipes with you for all purposes, for other people too. You know, if someone sits down next to me and they're gross, then I give them my wet wipes and I force them to use it. And flight attendants, I know you're doing a little, like, kind of a special thing for flight

attendants right now, right, with your tour and... Well, for flight attendants, I took my first, like, commercial flight a few months ago and the announcement that the pilot made was just such an embarrassment to all of us. Right. Like, please do not touch or hit the flight. attendants. It's like, what, hit the flight? Who the fuck is going to hit a flight attendant? And these poor women and gay men that have taken these jobs who basically got this job so they could go to Porta Viarta for three days instead of two days, you know, are basically having to

learn jujitsu to defend themselves on planes. So I was appalled by that. And I just could not, you know, I wanted to reach out to them because just like nurses and teachers, they are a part of our society that are not given the credit that they deserve and asking to do a job that they didn't sign up for. You know, I don't want to go to work and duct tape some fat ass white asshole to his seat, okay? Like that is not what I signed up for, you know, high school ended for a reason. I haven't heard that announcement on, I actually don't know if I've been on a plane recently, but I haven't heard announcements about hitting the flight attendant. Oh, you'll hear it. I would love a show. They don't say, like, do not touch, harass, you know. Or the poor flight attendants are also the one on this

hit on a lot. Please keep your masks on. Yeah, because a lot of men don't understand that the mask goes over your nose, you know? That's the thing that men, I don't understand why men think that their noses are different than ours. But women don't walk around with their masks under the nose. Only, that's only men do that. It's one of those things that makes me like physically angry. You know what I mean when you just see something that really annoys you? Like a big fat, gross body on a man, you know, when they just, like a middle age. When we're sitting here working our asses off to keep in shape and like to keep in shape and like to keep. keep things tight. And they're the ones commenting like oh, it's just like her arms are just a little flabby and he like literally can't get off the couch. Or they sit on a plane seat with their legs just spread even, taking up so much space and you can just see the outline of their balls. And you're like, who the fuck do you think you are

that you're allowed to pollute my eyes with your body? You know what? You know what? People always bring up. It's like why is somebody like afraid to eat a certain food when you put like dicks in your mouth, right? Like, that's kind of the same thing with the airplane thing. I did not know where you were

going. No, but I was thinking about this when it's like things with germs and like washing your hands and like being diligent about wipes and it's like, we're so crazy about that, but we'll just put things in our mouth. But a penis is inside a pair of pants for the better part of a day. So it's not out in the open like going to the Starbucks around

the corner and then getting their dry cleaning. They're just covered up and sometimes they urinate throughout the day. That's pretty much the worst thing that they do. Right? The little urine comes out of it. So it's not as dirty as people are. Conversation I had recently, Dick way cleaner than a vagina. Yeah, vaginas are pretty dicey. Because it's a lot of layers.

Well, there's a lot of things going on. Yeah, exactly. And the dick is kind of just like an arm. Well, as my lover Joe Koi talks about it in his stand-up, a lot of girls get a lot of things stuck in their picchews when they're going to the bathroom, when you wipe too quickly and you're not paying attention or you're in a rush. Oh, he's talking about this. Yeah, he talks about it in his stand-up. And he calls him dingleberries. And that's little treasures that men find when they go down on their girlfriends and they don't wipe properly. So after I heard that part of his routine, I don't think I've had a dangleberry since. I am vigilant about my...

I go at night on my... And there's always one in there, you know? It's true. A little piece of toilet paper. But girls don't know because we're not going down on ourselves. Right, right. I now will make sure I don't have any... Yeah.

Check. Yeah. We don't want to send that message. We don't want to give men any more reason to complain. Absolutely. So Ria and I are actually just started our own. It's not stand-up because we are not stand-up comedians, but we are doing a podcast tour. So we're doing, you know, very small venues.

But we just started. We just started in Boston last week. We're doing our first shows ever in front of audiences. And I think that you have been someone that we have always looked up to so much. And your stand-up has been so amazing. And you put on such an amazing show where we're like, how do we get like, like just a tad all we want to do is make people laugh right

that's our end game even but we're not comedians but you still want to make them laugh because we just don't know how to curate exactly exactly what what advice you have because I know you give out advice all the time that you know you have your podcast and everything so I would say that I think being real is the best way to be you know

when you're real it is funny everyone's funny when they're real because you're not being guarded you're telling people the truth about yourself and you're and it's relatable When you tell the truth, you're telling the truth for millions of other girls. So as soon as you are honest about everything, you know, not to say you haven't been, but I think that is the key to being funny, is being honest. So I, but, you know, I, that's my advice. Yeah, be real.

I'm sure there are so many times in your career where you were afraid to say something, but then you said it and everyone else agreed with you, right? It's like, well, I don't have the fear factor, so I just say it. It comes out like vomit and then after I have to deal with it. And I just have a different attitude about it. Like I have the attitude like you know yourself. You're going to say something and you're not going to be able to take it back. And I've just accepted that quality about myself and I've embraced it instead of trying to stop it. Which is another thing that's good to do for anybody is to embrace all of your personality traits and try and enhance the ones that, you know, work best.

And not shame yourself if you do something wrong or you do something bad. You're a human being. You know, you can make mistakes. Just try not to make them consecutively. Now, how do you keep it fresh? Obviously, you've been doing this for a while. Is it just different life experiences that create different jokes for you? Yeah, I think it's whatever you're going through.

I mean, people who are my fans and like come and support and come and, you know, want to see me live, know that they're getting the real deal of whatever I'm going through in my life. And if it's me partying and sleeping around and talking about my books, you know, that was one phase of my life. It was me drinking and partying again. That's another phase of my life. Single still. Yeah, if it's me going to therapy, like, then that's going to be what I'm talking about. And now it's like me, I'm talking about being in love and, you know, and not on my stand-up.

I mean, it's not that funny. Although there is a little material about Joe Koi, because the things he says to me, I've never heard a man say to a woman. And I'm trying to spread that information because there's so many fucking dipshits out there that need to understand what women need to hear. And it doesn't matter if it's true or not. We need to hear it. Can we hear something? Yeah. Like the other night, what did he say?

Oh, he said, every time you smile, my dick gets hard. I love that. He said that to me. I mean, think about that. Think about what everyone. What does that mean? That means his happiness comes from my happiness. That's all a woman wants to hear.

He's not like a romantic thing I've ever heard. He's not like, oh, your ass gets my dick hard. He's like your smile. Yeah, right. He doesn't say like, oh, that makes me want to fuck you. I mean, he is saying that. And it's good that he wants to fuck me. But I'll take that kind of compliment.

You know what I mean? And I think a lot of women would take it. It's a two and one. Yeah, it's a two and one. It's a dipsy-doodle-woodle. But I like also, you know, he's just very, you know, he's not shy about expressing himself and his feelings about me. And it takes a strong man to be with a woman that is independent and doesn't really give a shit about what many people think. And a lot of guys are intimidated by that.

And that's a boner killer. You know, you want men to be as strong as you and stronger, you know. But, and what we're learning is that nobody's stronger. We're all kind of equally strong. We just have different attributes. But we all want a guy that's going to appreciate and adore us. us, that's never going to be different, you know, and that's what men want too. So I think just men would make it a lot easier on themselves if they just doled out a little bit more, you know, they just had a

little bit more wiggle room about complimentary behavior, you know, apologize that you're a guy and that you didn't know better, but now you do. No one needs that lesson a little bit with us. Right. But I feel like it's like you don't need him, but he adds to your life. Exactly. And that's what I always said. Like I, I've never been in a relationship. that I didn't feel good about for very long. Like, I have a long pattern of, like, you know, ditching relationships before they get serious because I wasn't interested.

What was the question? Wait, what did you say? No, what did you say to prompt me? I said that, oh, you don't need him, but he adds to your life. Right, and that was it. Like, people would say, oh, don't you want to be with someone? I'm like, not unless they're going to contribute in some way that I don't have in front of me right now.

You have to be a huge additive. You cannot subtract from my life. You can only bring something. So, oh, look, Joe's crying. Wow, I'm actually I'm going to be a little teary eye. I'm really liking this moment right now. Now, not to ruin the moment,

but is 50 cents still your favorite ex? No. Okay, no. I knew I knew that went out the window. It went out the window when we had to talk about voting. So that is not, he's not my favorite ex. I don't have a favorite ex. I mean, they're all exes for a reason, you know what?

Because they weren't my fucking favorites. Exactly. You were on found last night. I was watching and you had to play a game with one of the kids from Stranger Things. And I was cracking up but you told this story about shoplifting from a Sears as a kid.

Now I have to know because I also grew up in New Jersey was that the Sears at the Livingston Mall. Yes. Thank God. It was. She was really hoping it was. There's just been some parallels like I grew up in not too far from there so I also went to the Living Sinai a ton. I also spent a lot of time

in Martha's Vineyard. I'm like me and Chelsea have so much to get so much in comment. Oh, that's so cute. Where on the vineyard? In Eggertown, right across from like, and it's called the neighborhood, right across Oh, on Kittenden, Oh, okay. Oh, okay.

Oh, I know what you're doing. I'm not right enough for those. Like literally. Yeah, okay. Okay, that's cute. Yeah, I love the vineyard. My parents have gone to a bunch of your, you know, stuff that you've done up there and love it too because they spend most of their year up there. Fran would never shoplift, though. Yeah.

God forbid. No, you would. Fran follows the rules to a nauseating point Oh, well, yeah, yeah. We got into a little bit of not an argument, but like we were in Boston and we were in Quincy Market

so we get our food and we walk out and you can sit wherever you want. There's no seats and a restaurant had outdoor seating. The restaurant we were performing at. And to be said, got it. They said, let's sit like at the table.

I was like, we can't sit at that table. Our food's from a different place. We're not ordering. outside they can't see us. Oh yeah, yeah. That's some serious real following. Yeah, that's exactly. I have whatever that is. I have the opposite. Me too. That's the issue. I see a police officer. I give him the finger. I know. I said to her I was like, we're not going to get arrested. And if we do get arrested, it's great. Like this would be a fun story. She's like, nope. Also, do you check it? Well, I get goosebumps.

I feel like this is a dumb question for you. You're not checking out of your own hotels. No, I walk out. No, same. I walk out. Yeah. We're all walking out of the hotel on Thursday or Friday. Franz's like, I got to go check out. She's like, I got to check out. She's like, Francesca Mariano room 311. I'm like, what are you doing? You know that no one's doing that anymore, right? How did you even see that? You were with me? No, me and Devin walked down the stairs and we're like,

oh, there's Brian, checking out. I was going to say, I did that alone. I did that. Oh, no, we spotted it and we were grossed out. I'm sorry. I like to return the keys. They reuse them. Do they reuse them?

Yeah, they do. Oh, okay. Good to know. Cool. I'll leave them there next time instead of taking them with me so that I can confuse them. them with my next hotel room. You were on the lady gang recently and we love them.

Oh yeah, I love them. We love so much. And you talked a little bit about microdosing and I've gotten into that recently. But I want to know. Guess who has it? No, definitely not. No, you're right. I've tried many of times.

What is your favorite drug? God, it changes. But I would say microdosing mushrooms is like a big high for me. I like that because I like to do like outdoor. stuff. Yeah, like skiing is a great thing to microdose for. Anything outdoors with nature, just everything becomes a little bit more like

electrifying. So I like that. But I'm always taking edibles or smoking weed. I'm right now on a 30-day alcohol cleanse, which I'm counting down the days for it to be over. Picked a long month. October's a long month. 31 days. And you did the cannabis cleanse before that. Yeah, so I've lost two months

of my life due to no alcohol and drug use, and I'm not down with that. So now you're smoking. but no alcohol. Well, yeah, I'm eating edibles. I can't really smoke. Yeah, I try not to smoke so much because it hurts my throat. And then I sound like I have emphysema.

So between Joe and I, when we sleep together, he has a sleep apnea. And so, yeah, it's so fun. Romantic. It is. Oh, yeah. He looks like an octopus when we go to sleep at night. That'll get you going. And so between, yeah, so when he's making those kinds of sounds, I feel like it's

freestyle for me. Like, if I have a little emphysema, that's okay. But I don't like that wheezing feeling. and that noise and plus, you know, I've got to keep my shit together. So, but yeah, I'm all for drugs. They're good for you. Same. Expanding your horizons and brain activity. I actually think shrooms have helped me tremendously.

Like, people talk about this a lot. And I, for so long, it's like, I really want to try them, really want to try them. And I did it a few times last year. And then in like May or so, I did a lot one time. And it complete, I think it like just cured my anxiety. Like, I was having, I was so anxious. Remember this. I was so anxious.

so down, depressed all the time. One day, all of a sudden, it flipped. And I've just been happy since, and now I like microdose a little bit. But I microdose in weird situations. That is not a medical recommendation. No, I mean, no, I'm not an expert. I'm no doctor.

Yeah, you are. I have a medical background. And whatever's working for you is working for you. Exactly, exactly. But you pointed this out the other day, because we were out, we were at like a club during the day, and I microdose before that. And she was like, I think that drugs just do the opposite for you,

because you look like you're on Molly right now, but you're just my goodness. She was like sunglasses. Like she's in sunglasses on and was like full blown like jiggling. It just makes you happy. It's a mood lifter. Yes, it is. And when you put it that way

and you understand that your mood is being lifted, I mean, it does help depression. And you feel more awake. Like it's a hard feeling to describe, but I said that you're not sober, but you feel more aware than anything else. Yes, alert. Yeah, that's the right word for it, I think.

That's how I feel what I feel when I microdose alert. Like I'm up and I'm ready to go. Yeah. Not like Adderall alert. It's like better. I don't like those. Adderall, no, no.

That's not the same. No, no. Not as fun. No, that has a razor's edge to it. Yeah. That'll make you angry a little bit. Yeah. And you can tell when people are on Adderall

because they can't stop licking their mouth. It's like when people are on Coke. And they think they think that no one knows that they're on Coke. And they think they're the most fun person at the party and you want nothing to do with them. Like they're the person you stay away from. Yeah, yeah, there's a definite Coke look to people. That sweaty, yeah, sticky look for sure.

Rhea and I both loved watching Chelsea Lately. It was, I think, our favorite late night show, and I don't think there will ever be anything similar because I just don't know, sadly, if now we can get away with a lot of the things. If you think Chelsea Lately was on air right now. No, but I think you're, well, no, As it was, no, but I could do a show like that now.

We need a show like that now. We'll call it Chelsea later. But we need a show where people relax a little bit because it's gotten a little bit too much. Everyone wants to get out of cancel culture. It's not just white guys. Like, we're all sick of it as women, you know? And we want the conversation to be over.

So we just have to end the conversation. And then we can have fun again and not be so sensitive. And, you know, people do want to laugh at themselves. And there's a way to do that always. There's always a way that you. can do that without worrying about, you know, getting canceled or worrying about being taken off, you know, the radar, you know, of life or of a career. There are ways to you that you just have to be clever about how you're doing it and start with yourself, you know, self-deprecation is where it's at.

Start telling your own stories. And then it's easier to, you can make fun of people without being malicious. You know, you can make fun of behavior without being malicious. And when you make fun of yourself, I feel like people are like, well, she's also making fun of herself. So it's like a balance. Like she doesn't think she's the best person on the planet. Yeah. Also, there are jokes that are over. You know, we're not making fun of brown and black people. That's over. We're not making fun of transgender people or gay people. That's over. Let's go focus on, you know, the people that we can make fun of. White man. But there's plenty more than that, you know, and there's plenty of other things to focus on. So it's not as narrow of a view as everyone makes it out to be like, oh, you can't be

funny. Everyone's complaining. It's like if you're smart enough, you can be funny. Right. Just stop talking about not being able to be funny. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Stop complaining is the first problem. And do you think like canceling actually exists? Because I obviously with really bad people, right, like Harvey Weinstein, canceled, actually canceled. But people who make like a joke that doesn't sit right and everyone's like, they're canceled. No, they're not because in two months, they come back and they're fine. So I feel like the word canceled just gets thrown out like all the time. Because it's been overused. So it's meeting has been diluted, right? So it doesn't mean the same thing it meant about a year ago. So you just have to ride out that storm and try not to get canceled.

Was there ever a time during Chelsea lately that you made a joke that really pissed somebody off? Yeah, every day. I mean, it happened all the time. I would get calls all the time from the executives at E. Again, I have no respect for authority. And I didn't care. And I would argue with them. And if it were really like, you know, mean, spirited, there were times where I would, you know,

like Lindsay Lohen and the Paris Hilton's of the world, the people who took the most abuse, like if it got to a point where those people became unstable or, you know, like a Britney Spears type of thing, we'd stop because it was too mean, you know, and you're a part of the causation of their downfall. You don't want to be that.

But in terms of just making a joke and people being hypersensitive, like it was a great avenue to let people know that they needed to take themselves less seriously. and I stand by that. We should all be taking ourselves a little bit less seriously.

Is there ever a time that you remember specifically somebody confronted you in person about something you said? No, what was so funny about that show is I would talk so much shit about people and then you see them at parties and they would be like, oh my God, it's so nice to meet you

and I'd be like avoiding them like the late. I'm like, oh fuck Tom Cruise is here and you're like, Chelsea. I'm like, oh no, what's he going to say? I've been calling him gay for like 10 years. But no, so it was kind of the opposite probably to my advantage, you know, in that respect. But there were some people that, like, would come on the show. I remember there's a famous actor who came on the show and he's like,

Chelsea can't call me fat or say anything about my weight. And it was like, I remember thinking to myself, as if I would do that, like, to my interview guest, into, like, coming to somebody to your house and you insulting them. And I remember saying it to our book or like, as if I would call him fat. He's like, well, you did. You call him fat like three times on the show. Only behind his bad. When he wasn't on the show, I was like, that's the roundtable.

It's totally different than the interview segment, you know. But no, there were some people that, you know, some guys that came on that were just very scared of a woman that was like me. And, you know, when you're a woman and you hear that, it's just so upsetting that men are intimidated by the strength of a woman. That is that was the thing that I was always so like. Yeah. I also like kind of love that. I don't know what. Like I think of some of the people that we, some of the guys that maybe we have talked shit about came on and we're like, we were so nervous to come talk to you.

I'd be like, why? We've had that before. We, you know, we talk a lot about The Bachelor. So, when we recap the show, we're very honest about how we feel about people. But then all of a sudden, they're on the show. And I'm like, we talked a lot of shit about this person. But then I just say it to their face. Because I'm like, let's just get this out in the open.

I used to talk a lot of shit about you. Yeah, that's the right way to do it, you know, because then you're not being duplicitous. You're just being open and honest. And you're like, this is my, you know, this is my job. And, yeah, there's a lot more respect to be had by being that way, I think. Yeah. Now, this is such a ridiculous question and you can laugh at me. But the, and you've done a lot of, you know, Chelsea Handler as me, documentary, series, where you are yourself. You've done some acting gigs that I have loved. This means war is a movie that I've watched so many times. You're looking at me like, why did you do that? See, you brought this out to me before. Because I don't know what they did to like Chris Pine and Tom Hardy in that movie, but they are. And, you know, Joe, don't listen to this.

What? Are they, like, the do hottest people in real life? I couldn't believe, like, they, they CGI'd their faces in that movie or something. I don't know. All of you, all of your eyes look bluer. I don't know what they did. Oh, really? Oh, yeah, that's funny. I don't know what they did.

No, I do remember Tom Hardy being such an asshole that I fucking loved him. Like, I was, like, watching him, and he just did not give a shit about anybody. He went off on the director. He fought with, you know, everybody on set. And I wasn't with him a lot on set, but when we did the junket, the way he talked to the reporters, like I literally had to get up and go to the bathroom because I was laughing so hard because he was such a dick. And I just thought, good for him. He doesn't give a shit. Yeah. But I don't know what they did, the CGI to their faces. I don't know. Yeah, Tom Hardy's a pretty good actor. So that's sexy. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly how I envisioned Tom Hardy, like kind of like a dick, but I like it. We're so excited for this tour. You're all over the place. What else is going on in the world of Chelsea Han. Handler? I don't know. I mean, I've had a couple of pregnancies.

Casual. Just casual pregnancies that didn't take. And what else is going on? I don't know. What what is going on? We're adapting my last book into a TV show. Life will be the death of me, which I'm going to star in. Where I'm on tour. I have my podcast, dear Chelsea. And you can get your tickets at Chelseahandler.com. Other than that, I mean, I have no perfume coming out or vaginal spray. Make a line. Make a line. No bad, no makeup. Are you giving, yeah. Skin care. Vaginal spray. I'm going to cannabis, CBD, vaginal oil. Yeah, a dingleberry spray. Or, yeah, something to remove your dingleberries

without having to touch yourself directly. That's my next product. It's like a twoser. I have so many products out there, yes. That's me. I'm a product, Maven. What does, what's a day off in your life? Like, what, do you, do you like watch TV, anything?

Are you a reality TV person or no. No, no, I don't like reality TV. I mean, I watch TV when I'm home and I'm not, you know, if I'm on the road, I don't really watch TV. Yeah. I try and just, I don't know what the fuck I do. I work out and I eat and I read, I read books. That's what I do most of the time.

I like to fill my brain up, you know, when I'm not bouncing around. But nothing that fascinating. I smoke pee, you know, smoke pee, I smoke pee a lot. And I try, I mean, I travel. I don't know. I do, you know, when I'm bouncing around on tour, it's just kind of such a schedule that depletes you that you're just. just kind of in the wellness game.

Like you're just trying to stay above water. You're like, fuck, this isn't the same as when I was 26. Like, if you're not, I feel hungover every morning that I'm on tour, whether I've had a drink or not. You know, you're just exhausted from the travel. So it's different. I mean, I'm a lot calmer than I used to be. When does the 30-day alcohol cleanse end?

And what will be the first drink? Oh, God, I don't know. I mean, I might hold out until I get back to L.A. So I can have a margarita with Joe. Or I might just have, you know, a vodka soda after my show at the beacon on Sunday night. But it's been a good, it's been a good run. I've never done 30 days of no alcohol, so I'm glad that it's so easy, you know? Do you feel good? Like, I think that's, not really. Yeah, that's what I don't. I feel about it and I'm like, am I really going to feel that much better at the end? Am I on edge, honey?

She just can't wait to get a drink. It's like a marathon that she ran for like a month and she can't wait. No, it's a marathon that is over and I'm still waiting at the finish line for. Yeah. Yeah. So it's not something I would recommend doing. But I mean, I think I like, I like the ownership of being able to take 30 days off so easily because that way I don't have to quit, you know, long term anytime soon. Yes. So it's always good to kind of throw a little wrench in there and to prove to other people that you don't have a drinking problem. Like, I can, I can do it. I swear. Yeah. I'll white knuckle it. That's amazing. Well, Chelsea, thank you so much for joining us. Everyone can get tickets to the vaccinated. and horny tour at chelseahandler.com. Check out all these amazing places that she's going. Thank you so much. Thanks, girls. That was fun.

All right, that wraps up today's episode of Chicks in the Office. We have a new thing coming to Chicks in the Office presenting Ria's world, where Ria will be vlogging her daily life and all of our tour stops. I also want to get this on record because I feel like because we are doing this on the Chicks of the Office channel, people are going to be like, Ria. Why is it called Ria's world? Fran does not like filming herself at all times. Fran. Okay. I'm correct. Correct. I don't mind filming myself when I, when I'm around you and we're doing work stuff, but you also like filming your personal life stuff. I don't like filming my personal

life stuff. Hence, I am a character in Ria's world. Yes. And I want everyone to know that Fran is okay with this because I feel like we are bound to have people be like, why is this being Ria's world on the office? Yeah. But Fran is more than okay with this because she just wants to be a supporting character. I would very much, I'm very much okay with my

being a part of the supporting cast. Yes, she does not want a camera in her face at all times. But these are going to be really fun and cool because I'm filming my life, you know, outside of work. I'm filming all the tour stops that we're doing. Probably going to include my family. family, just my world, hence Rio's world.

Shout out to Natalie, who's been working really fucking hard on these. We got some cool animations. Devin, who has been filming all of it, has been great. And Noah, of course, who is always, you know, he's always crushing it. And the way that the vlogs are going to work right now is that, so we were in Boston two weeks ago. And so Boston vlog will come out on this Sunday. and then next Sunday will be Philly.

After that will be Nashville and then so on. And then at the end, we'll have one big recap. And then mixed in between there is just going to be fun vlogs of like me going out and doing stuff with friends. And that will be a good time. So everyone subscribe to Chicks in the Office on YouTube. You will see all of that happen there. And I'm very excited about it. And I hope everyone has a great week.

And we will talk to you on Wednesday.