Chicks in the Office - Dicks Out for Clare (The Bachelorette Recap Week 2)

Episode Date: October 21, 2020

FULL recap of The Bachelorette week 2 with the Luggage Guy himself. CITO merch > http://bit.ly/citomerch. Follow us on Instagram @chicksintheoffice and on Twitter @chicksintheoff + subscribe to our Snapchat show > http://bit.ly/thegroupchat & our YouTube > http://bit.ly/CITOYOUTUBE.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/chicks-in-the-office

Hey, Chicks in the Office listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. What's up, everyone? It's Chicks in the Office with Rianne, giving you that Friday energy on a Wednesday. This is a special edition of Chicks in the Office because it's a bachelorette episode. We also have Trent, aka Luggage Guy, Trent with us.

And we're going to be talking about the entire show, the full two hours. We're going to recap it all like we do every week now, every Wednesday you'll be hearing from us. But first, let's talk about our presenting sponsor, Macy's. We absolutely love Macy's. Fran and I have been shopping till we're dropping at Macy's. We got slippers galore. I honestly ordered probably too many slippers, but I'm trying to be. I've taken my slippers off.

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it is time to get into the Bachelorette recap. Let's do it. We're doing a drum roll? Yeah, we are. It's just going to get me a little bit pumped up. Yeah, I'm fucking tired. It's week two and I'm already tired. So it's wait until like week seven.

But I know whatever happens with Claire. We were trying to, before we started, we were trying to kind of guess what the timing situation is going to be, like how much longer we're going to get of Claire. I think we have. two full episodes left of Claire before we see anything. It's really a complete guessing game because if you had asked me before the premiere, I would have said two episodes.

I think like they do the limos and then she meets all the guys, she falls for Dale and then they go off together on their merry way. I would have said two episodes. But now it is looking like we're probably going to be four or five weeks into this show before it all falls apart and Tasia comes in because the previews are just, There's still so much stuff to get through. Like, we still have to get through the entire group turning on Dale and all of that drama. So I think we're at least two or three weeks away from Tasia swooping in and taking over.

Right. I'm ready for Claire to be done as The Bachelorette. Yeah. I think it's about time. I mean, it sounds crazy because it's only been two episodes. But we know the guy she's very much in love with Dale. She's, you know, she wants a lot out of these guys, which I get. She's 39.

She's been on the show a couple of times. She knows what she wants in life. But I feel like what she wants in life is Dale. And it's very obvious. But I also feel like maybe the producers and the editing of the show is making it. They're playing it up more. They're using all the clips that she's talked about Dale. And it's almost like, all right, all right.

We've heard the rumors. Let's just have Tasia come in. Yeah. And she's talking about Dale so much that I almost feel like we're getting some of those Franken bite situations. where it's like, she's like, wow, I'm really excited for this group date and I can't wait to talk to to, like pause, Dale. And then it's like, it's like they're just cutting it where she's just constantly saying Dale all the time, even though I'm sure she probably is talking about Dale all

the time because it's very clear that she is infatuated with him. And you could tell right away from the first group date, the first group date of the season. And, and, you could tell right away from the first group date of the first group date of the season. and it was all about love languages. Now, just out of curiosity, do you guys know your love language? I don't. You've never taken the quiz, Trent? No. There's a quiz?

Yeah. I've never done that. What? I would say mine's attention. I don't know. I don't know if that's a love language, but. Food, is that one of them? No, you guys.

Sour Patch Kids, is that a love language? You guys, you never done it to, you never, no, I'm going to do it right now. Oh my God. Okay. These are the five love languages. They are acts of service, gift giving. So you must have really been confused during the date, like when they're like running to get gifts and like you're, did you have any idea? I didn't have a clue.

Okay. I didn't know what they were doing, but I just acted like I had been there before and I just held through it. Okay. They are acts of service, gift giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. Those are the five. Love languages. Now, I have taken the quiz and we'll tell you that the two, that my top two were very close. So it was kind of in the book, very, like it was very similar.

And it was quality time and words of affirmation. Those seem like good ones to get. If you get gift giving, does that feel, oh, it's gift giving, not gift receiving. It feels a bit material. It's, I don't know. It's, I don't know. when you're taking the test, it's pretty easy to be like, oh, I'm not. You're going to have to figure it out afterwards.

It's pretty easy to be like, I'm not going to pick that one. It's like, you know, would you rather, would you rather spend a night at home? Would you rather go out to a restaurant or like, would, it's very, like, you can tell which one to select that you would end up getting gift giving as you're, like, do you love, like, buying expensive gifts for people. So, no, but gift giving, I think, has an underlying very important meaning because, you know, you like to share. Like, I love giving gifts to people because it's like you like making other people happy and sometimes you can do that through gifts. And you can't have all five.

You can't have all five? Well, I mean, they rank them like how much, like what percentage is like the most and then it and then it breaks down. you know, if you had a pie, it's like, you can have a little sliver of each one, but one is more, one is more dominating than the rest. I guess I'm going to have to take this test and I'll come back next week and I'll update people on what my love languages are. I don't even think I want to know what Trent's like love languages are. I feel like, I want to know.

You know what? That's a good, I'll do it and I'll, I'll may or may not share. Yeah, that's true. I may or may not share. I'm not going to know too much about you. love language, physical touch, she'll be like,

get out. Yeah, like, leave immediately. I don't want to hear that. Gross. I have an announcement. I am not taking the test. I'm no longer taking this test.

No, now you have to do it. I'm going to do it too. I have no service right now. It's like bang it out right here. But it is, I can't get to it. It's a lot of reading. I'm going to do it on the Uber

ride home from this recording this episode. It's getting late. Back to the group date. Yep, yep. Let's go on with the show. Back to the group date. It was all about love languages,

Claire immediately had the guys with this sort of like Rapunzel moment where she's up in a little window and their words of affirmation. They're just saying great things about Claire and she's eating it up and... Rapunzel, Rapunzel. Claire, we love you so much. And this is the thing. Dale was on this group date and right away, you know, she's like, I'm so excited for this group date to see everyone to see. It was like you thought she was going to say to see everyone. And she said to see Dale.

Right. It was because that's the typical first episode. So excited for the group date. Can't wait to get to know all the guys better. See and it's like fill in the blank kind of script situation. And she had just said more excited to see Dale. And you could tell because every time Dale spoke to her in that group date, she was melting, melting.

You could see it on her face. That's where I wonder if they're putting in, I guess they couldn't really. doctor those clips. But every time she gets anywhere near Dale, she does. They didn't even show, they showed like two guys doing words of affirmation. They didn't show Bennett's, not to take shots early at him, but they did not show his, so it couldn't have been very good.

But they like, they only showed a couple and they only really wanted to show Dales. And Claire only wanted to see Dales. Claire wished every single guy in that day was not there. Honestly, Dale stands out. When he's standing in with that group of guys, he just stands out. He does. He is dominant. He is dominant in the group.

Friends, say what you feel about now. You're holding back. Look, Claire, no, I'm not holding back. I was going to get there eventually. I didn't want to jump right out and say it. But Claire is very much horny for Dale where I'm not creating it, but I'm going to, you know, the hashtag horny for Dale. Let's trend. It should be trending.

You're going to champion it. Yeah, because Claire really is starting it. Yeah. But I am along for the ride. Like I, she's the conductor. and I have a ticket for the train. Oh my God, Fran. I'm getting hot and sweaty listening to this.

He seems, he does seem great. He's by far the best guy there. It's funny because the whole time it's like, ah, Claire, she's picking Dale or she's going to run away with Dale. I just, I can't blame her at this point. It seems like the right choice. Some of the other guys seem great, but Dale by far seems the best.

And to be honest, we haven't even really seen them talk that much. I feel like we're dealing with a bunch of squids. Can I be honest? I feel like we're dealing with a bunch of losers. I didn't want to say that. So it's easy for Dale to cut through? I'm honestly feeling tired and grumpy

and I want to call them all losers. Just because I feel like it. Do I actually feel that way? No. I feel like they're nice guys and whatever. But I'm bored with them. Dale's standing out, probably because they're making him stand out. They all had to watch them touch each other

and their blindfolds. I don't know. I'm probably going to regret. saying this in the morning when I look back and I'm like I called them a bunch of losers. But that is what I want to say right now. Okay. Let's put it this way. If there's a, if there were a second place person now, who would it be? Like who is even close to Dale? I think I would say Blake Moynes.

Yeah. Because I feel like he's the, he's breaking the rules and Claire likes it. She's into that. Yeah. I feel like, but it's still nowhere close to Dale. It's like Dale and I got my hand up really, really. how you guys can't see it. And second place is Blake, like, really down.

Right. Like, there's a big gap. Not to bring Twilight back into this, but it's kind of like how Bella felt with Edward and Jacob. She really liked Edward, really just loved and lusted for Edward. And Jacob was just always there being kind of a nuisance. I mean, I don't really want to argue with you about Twilight right now, but you don't think that she had those high feelings for Jacob.

No, I did, but I was team Jacob when I was younger. As was I. I had a cardboard cut out of Taylor-Larner. Yeah, I want to make that very clear, very much loved Taylor Lottner. But it was almost like Jacob was too convenient for Bella. Okay. She liked, he was comfortable. Yeah, yeah.

He was comfortable. I feel like Blake's getting, he's breaking all the rules. He's naked, walking out naked, yeah. Crash in date. We'll get back to that. Trent has absolutely no idea what we're talking about. I don't. You never seen Twilight?

No. That's on me. I should have seen it. It's not like I have any, like, reason to not see it. I just haven't seen it yet. I have no, I would, I would see it. I'll watch it at some point. There's a lot of movies.

It's like a fun. There's so many movies. It's a fun like when you got nothing. You're like, hey, I want to watch a movie marathon. Let's watch all the Twilight movies. They're really bad. They're bad. Oh.

But good. Yeah. Like it's bad. Like, you'll laugh at how bad it is, but you enjoy laughing at it. That sounds like a good sense. And you're kind of interested in the plot line. Yeah. Did you ever see the twilight?

I'm sorry. I am my brain. Vampire suck? Yeah, I saw it. Yeah, I hated it. I saw that in theaters on a class trip. And I went, oh, with a class trip? It was unbelievable.

My junior year of high school, we went on a college trip to see schools in Connecticut. And we, that was like our activity on the Friday night. Our entire class went to go see vampires sucks. Now that movie was bad. That movie was just straight up bad. That was like, you know, the scary movies. like scary movie one, scary movie two. It's like a parody.

Parity movies. They made a parody movie of the Twilight movies that was somehow worse than the Twilight movies already were. It was so bad. Anyways, you haven't seen any of them so it doesn't matter. All right, back to the Bachelor.

I wanted you wrap this back into The Bachelor. I want to be clear, Taylor Lautner is more appealing than Blake points. Correct. As Jacob. Yes. But if we're putting into the comparison of how Bella felt about Edward,

that would be how Claire feels for Dale. Yeah, yeah. I'm she, yes. She can't. The Bella Edward comparison with Claire and Dale is very, very apparent. That connection is, you saw that every time, okay, I'm talking about Twilight too much. I'm moving on.

I'm just going to do a Twilight recap podcast out of nowhere. I literally was like about to get into the dynamics of Bella and Edwards relationship. So to dive into new move. And how they're so similar to Claire and Dale. and I'm just not going to do it. There are many comparisons. They're there. Let's talk about the date.

I'll never. I'll never. Similarities of Bella and Edwards. Let's talk about the date. To bring it back to The Bachelorette. Thanks, Trent. Watching the other guys watch Dale and Claire interact is one of my favorite parts of the season so far, especially when they were doing the, when they were doing the blindfolds and they were all over each other.

And you guys had said that they weren't making out. In my head, I just assumed that they were. They were not actually kissing, even though Claire had her face in his neck. Yeah. And it's just funny watching those guys watch it because they know what's happening. They don't know that it's going to happen so soon, I would imagine. But they're watching it, like, some of them are looking away. Some of them are looking right at it.

Like, man, I'm not even close to this time. I thought Claire was literally going to like in like Dale's ear. It kind of reminds me of that one scene from Twilight. Because, because it's just like, and once again, horny for Dale, she's talking about how everybody smells. She's just like, guys, when they smell and there smells. And she's just, I felt like she was literally going to start purring at Dale. It was really, really something. But things turned around.

I'm moving on. I'm moving on. Let's move on because I don't even want to get started about the scent. in twilight how it's very important like it was on the show. Exactly. Moving on to the night portion of the group date because that was where they got into quality time.

Oh, I want to say quickly, actually before, the gift-giving situation it was sweet but I was very, like, Riley gave her the baseball from his last baseball game he ever played in ever. Do you think he just carries that around

with him at all times? Like, is that like a lucky thing? I'm going to go to The Bachelorette. Let me just, let me pack my last baseball just in case. Lose your move. It could be, I mean, he's going away. This is a big thing. He's going to be on TV.

It's probably a nerve-wracking ordeal. He probably, I could see merit in bringing that with you. Okay. Yeah. The funniest gift, the funniest gift that I thought was chess guy. I'm going to figure out his name eventually. But he has mentioned chess. I think it was Ivan.

Ivan. I think. Has talked about and mentioned and. made chess analogies more than anybody in the history of the show, bar none. And at this point, I hope he keeps going. I hope it's all chess, checkmate when he gets sent home. Like, I hope everything I need it all because it's to the point now where he's made two or three and it just has to continue.

Now I'm just picturing him like at the time when he does get sent home and he's going to say his goodbye to Claire and he walks up and just like goes to maybe like shake her hand. I don't know why he would shake her hand, but goes like shake her hand. but goes like shake her hand. That's what you do after our chest match. No, no, yeah. And then like she goes to shake his, but then he pulls one of the,

and he's like, gotcha. He goes to checkmate. He walks down. Just like pulls it away. It would be. What a moment. It would be. All right.

These guys, they all sit down after this date and Claire, you know, she walks in. She announces herself. She sits down. And nobody, nobody pulls her for a chat, one might say. And it's like. It's like all of their brains broke. They all forgot where they were and what show they were on and what they were supposed to do in that situation. And she was fucking pissed.

Crickets. Yeah. So this is a situation, the first of two during this episode where the viewers, and I found myself in this position, I have to decide how I feel about Claire. Yeah. Like up until this point, she's the bachelorette. People are excited. She's, you know, she's going to do her thing. But now she's acting in a way where it's, I've never seen somebody act like that as.

The Bachelorette where I'm, I know what I want. And it's been driven into the ground, but she's 39 years old. She's been through a lot. She knows what she wants. And she's going to act in a certain way where she's like, I'm now opening the floor to you guys for someone to pull me aside and start having time with me. And if somebody doesn't jump on it immediately, especially out of, what are there? There's 10, 15 guys here.

I'm going to freak out and I'm going to let you guys know that this is not acceptable. At first, it was sort of strange. I was like, oh, I think she's making a big deal out of nothing. Yeah. But then the more you think about it. it, the more it's like she knows what she wants. And if these guys aren't willing to step up and be that person for her, she's going to just be like, she's going to let them know.

And as opposed to Bacheloretts in the past, I think, have maybe, if that had happened to them, which we had never seen before. But if it had happened to someone in the past, it would have been like no big deal. Yeah. Like, let's try and maybe start over. It'll be fine. But Claire, I think I like that she was angry about it. Yes.

I do too because I think that Claire from her actions and just from, being on this show multiple times and just like being very confident in herself also has also does like does not want to be embarrassed on this show you know like because I think that she like I said is very straightforward and is confident in who she is and when these guys are not kind of going about the show as they're supposed to be or kind of fitting into all the spots. It's like, oh, you guys are going to fucking do me

like this? Like this is my show. Like, I'm The Bachelorette. None of you guys are going to pull me away right now. I'm hesitant to call Claire dramatic because I feel like I would have done the same thing. Just because, you know, I react quickly. Right. And it would have been dramatic if you did it too.

Exactly. And I feel like I would just like, what the hell? Like, none of you, like, quick reactor. although when I think about it, I'm like, you know, people were locked in their homes for months, right? Now we're on this Bachelorette show. It's an awkward situation. Maybe they just forget how to interact, yeah. Maybe they're just feeling a little bit awkward about how to interact.

It's the first time on the show. They went from, I'm sure, like, quarantining to then just being on a reality show. You know, I feel like we're forgetting that aspect of it that, like, people definitely are not 100% themselves. like right after quarantine ended or like jumping onto this show. Like it was a very strange time. So I feel like maybe the awkwardness is coming from that. I don't know. It was definitely made me feel very uncomfortable.

And I do think Claire being open is making for an interesting show because if it was like a passive aggressive like, okay, that would have been boring. We wouldn't have seen that. The night would have just went on as it is. But it gives for good TV. Definitely. I will say so far I have been liking. Hannah Brown way better than I like Claire as the Bachelorette.

And I feel like we're all like scared to be like, we don't love Claire as the Bachelorette because she's like a very strong independent woman, which she is and we love that for her. But I'm like not really loving her from being completely honest, you know? I understand what she's doing. And I get her motives and I think it's entertaining for the show. Yeah. But I'm also like, I don't know.

Yeah. I think I don't know. I think maybe because with Hannah Brown, everyone was hesitant going into it and then she turned out to be great. It was like funny and charismatic. I'm almost getting like the opposite reaction from Claire. Like I was excited to watch Claire because I've never really seen her before.

And I'm just like, eh, she loves Dale. And yes, definitely. And I think the whole, you know, pandemic situation comes into play with that as well because we know that Claire was like alone for quite some time. And she's coming off super hard. We don't, we'll talk about the dodgeball date, but like, it's very apparent that she's lusting over some of these guys. And it's, I don't know, it's kind of putting her in a weird light a little bit as like the

Bachelorette, I feel like. Because you never really see the Bachelorette or the Bachelor that may be aggressive is the right word for it. I don't know. Right, but I don't think, I don't even think it's a bad thing that she is like, aggressive and like forward like that. Like I think you should be that way. Yeah.

I don't know why I'm just like not. I think it just goes back to the knowing that she maybe that's what it is that I'm just like we know what's happening here. You're playing up to the Dale situation. It almost feels like she's like babysitting the guys on the show while she like runs off with Dale. Just because I almost feel like I think it's in our heads now that she isn't really like any of these people.

Yeah. Yeah. And I don't even know if they like her. Because like we just, they didn't get out. It's a weird situation. It definitely is. Yeah, I think she is behind the eight ball that we all know as viewers what's going to happen. That like hurts her case in some people's eyes because some people are rightfully so

are probably like, let's just get like I want to see like people don't. Because all the other interactions she has doesn't feel as genuine. Right. Because you're like, well, why is she talking to this guy for so long? It's like she doesn't, she ends up with Dale. So I get all sides of it. I think it may all make sense. Yeah, definitely.

So Bennett was the first one to actually say like let's go talk. So Bennett takes her side, but she was obviously very upset. So she got up, went back, yelled at the guys pretty much. Yosef tried to speak for the group, which made them all very unhappy. And then he sort of called her crazy a little bit kind of in like a turnaround kind of way, which didn't go very well. And then this is also where it shows that she loves Dale so much. It was like they all tried to jump. up and be like, let's go talk, let's go chat.

Like, Zach C jumped up and was like, all right, like, let's go. I'll, like, I'll pull you for a conversation, got up. But then Dale got up and said something. And then she walked away with Dale. And Zach C had to go back and sit down and wait his turn because, you know, it's Dale. It's Dale. He's the star.

Yeah. Yeah. I, those are the signs when you know, like, these poor. guys don't stand a chance that's what it is i think that's what what's all going on in our heads is where we have this all these poor dude they're looking like they're looking like they're looking like if we know if we didn't know then we wouldn't be feeling this way exactly if we if we didn't know we we would be like oh they're trying good for them like they're you know putting an effort when it's like oh you know yeah we know that that's kind of where things didn't work uh all right

So she kind of gets over it. Things are okay. She has a good group date. She gives the group date rose to Riley. Riley, they have this nice little dance with no music where they're speaking and dancing. And they played some music in the background to make it like that. They were making out during that, I'm pretty sure. I think they was.

Am I just making up makeouts? No, they kissed. No, they couldn't. Because they, then Claire was like, what were we talking about? Right. Like, if they both couldn't remember, the kiss was so good. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. They lost their train of thought. So the group day rose went to Riley because obviously couldn't go to Dale again. Dale got the first impression rose. Got to spread the roses out a little bit. All of these roses are Dale's roses. Yeah. Just so people know.

Yeah. Even the guys receiving them. They're all second place roses. Like I said, I wish that they would hand Dale the rose and then Dale hands it to another guy. Yeah. Where then it's like, I know this is my rose, but she can't give me all these roses. Absolutely.

They're all getting participation trophies. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. All right, Ria, we're going to talk about the first one and one, but I just want to tell you that your blue eye shadow is looking really nice tonight. Oh my gosh. Francesca. It looks so good.

And let me take a guess. It's hard candy. It is hard candy. Cosmetics. Amazing. My favorite brand of makeup. And the lip. I can tell.

Yeah, the lip. I always do the lip. live now. Also your favorite brand. We've been loving hard candy because, listen, first of all, we talk about the price a lot. Everything is under $10. So you're all spending a bunch of money on makeup, probably, all these expensive brands that you think you're getting high quality stuff, but you are getting just as high quality, even better with hard candy for less than $10. Everything is, you know, skin-carrying, color daring, and it looks great on you. You know, you can go with an eyeshadow palette that has a lot of bright colors like the blues I'm wearing, or you can go for

more neutral browns, beige, tan, anything like that, plus their lip crayons. I'm absolutely loving. They're so spicy color. Plus, they're volumizing lip pumping serum. Gives you that nice full lip look. Absolutely loving it. And you could shop it out at Walmart.com slash hard candy cosmetics or just go to Walmart.com type in hard candy. Shop it all. Friend, what has been your favorite product? I will say that I know you've been loving the the lip crayons and I've been trying more of them this week and they're just so smooth. Like they make my lips feel very hydrated which you don't really get sometimes from a matte, any kind of matte color, which is amazing.

I love their brow products. They have an amazing brow pencil with a little brush, their brows now stuff and also a clear gel that holds your eyelash, eyebrows. But also it has like a very cool dual-ended applicator where it's like you can use it on your brows but also use it as clear mascara if you want, which is nice sometimes when you don't want to put on like a full layer of black mascara. You just maybe give your eyelashes a little curl,

a little clear gel looks amazing. We are obsessed with all the hard candy products. So like Ria said, go to Walmart.com slash hard candy to get some hard candy for yourself. Okay, the first one-on-one, went to Jason. Jason, if this was any other season,

Jason would have been whisked away in a helicopter, maybe they... Hot tub in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, anywhere. Instead, he got a very intense therapy session where the date didn't even start

and he was asked to write a letter to his younger self. This whole thing was very intense and I didn't like it. Incredibly intense. I did not like it. I was uncomfortable the whole time. I started to cry.

Yeah, that would, we don't need you actually crying in sadness. I don't want to be actually crying like that in the Bachelorette. Like maybe crying when people are queued in the Bachelorette. Oh, love. But actually, we're like getting upset now. Probably, you know, hit some soft spots for some people. We were getting deep. And honestly, a little too deep.

I was like, I felt almost felt bad for him. But at the same time was like, let it out. Jason. Yeah. Like Claire said, get rid of those demons. There was a lot going on. They were also writing things about each other that people say about them. that, you know, not good things, like selfish and hard to love and insecure.

It just felt like they were punching each other in the face just to build each other back up. I don't really know. I understand you've got to get to know each other, but. The back and forth mean words about yourself felt a little unnecessary. Felt like a rap battle when they were just like insecure. But you're being mean to yourself. Yeah, slam poetry, but about yourself.

Yeah. It was. We don't want to do that. We want to be positive about ourselves. Like, don't you want to be happy on your date, Claire? Why are we getting this deep? Absolutely. And Jason was, he was very hesitant.

As soon as he got the date card that said, write down or write a letter to your younger self, he was like, oh, shit. Like, I got some bad stuff going on in my past. And he let it out, or he sort of danced around it. He had everybody waiting, like, what is the deep, dark past that you have? At one point, I thought he killed a guy. But it was more about, like, his parents' relationship and all, and still kind of, dance around that. But yeah, it was very, very intense. I mean, they must be, again, you're watching

it through the lens of Dale, right? Like, you're watching them be incredibly emotional and open with each other. And in the back of your head, you're thinking, like, man, she's... I can't believe she put him through this when at the time, she didn't know that she was leaving with Dale, you know? Yeah, she didn't at the time. But in the back of your head, you're thinking, like, this is a very emotional and raw and open date that they're having. But at the end of the day, it doesn't end up being Jason. Yeah. I liked Jason. You know, Nick Viol had a fun. tweet where he had said, them, I'm manipulative, insecure, and mean, me, OMG, I love how honest you are.

Like, it's like such a weird first date where you're telling the person you're on a date with, like, the worst qualities of yourself or like the worst things, you know, that people have said about you and having it kind of be like an, oh, like, oh, like, thanks. response is just the whole thing was very, like we said, very intense. I felt like Claire was almost picking at him like a little too much. We started talking about his parents and his parents' relationship and, you know, they've been married 35 years, but maybe they shouldn't have been married 35 years. It's like, whoa, this is, this is like real, his real life shit that he is telling Claire on this first date and it's like wow okay well we're jumping right into it yeah like and

we all know that this isn't the real world that they're in yeah so this feels like a date that you would have with someone like way down the line and so it was very jarring for them to be first date looked like they were at the bottom of a hill or something and they were just like all right let's sit by this fire and dish out our deepest darkest secrets about each other it was just it was a lot yeah I would say it was a lot also like this guy's parents I'm gonna watch it back and they're going to be like, she didn't even pick you, bro. Like, you just aired out our drama on national TV and you didn't even get picked. In his defense, he really didn't have a choice.

No, there is no choice. Because if he didn't have some story, Claire, like, Claire was like, you have, there's something. You're not like, tell me. You're something that you're not sharing. So, you know, obviously eventually shared and they smashed the stone tablets that they were writing on. I don't even really know what exactly they were. And then she whipped out the, you know, they talked about the letters to their younger self, which they read. And then she whipped out her dress that she wore in the finale with Juan Pablo. And it was funny because we

were all watching it. And she pulled it out and we were like, burn it, do it. And right after she goes, I'm going to throw this in the fire. That was awesome. She, She burned the dress. The dress is gone. She burned it by dress. Why did she still have it? Oh, that's something you hold on to. I guess so.

I will back her up on that one. Like, I feel like that's something you hold on to. Their finale dress from The Bachelor? Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. And we also talked about it how no Benoit, still no mention of Benoit or the Winter X Games. And it's just we're moving.

The Winter X Games. Oh. That's how I will be referring to them going forward. They were extreme. They were. Extremely bad. She's not fully engaged. And the only thing that I can think of, the reason they're completely skipping over that where she did get engaged, where she did not get engaged to Juan Pablo.

Is that more people know about the Juan Pablo situation than know about the Benoit situation. Absolutely. Like they don't have to explain the Juan Pablo situation to people. And I don't think there was as much necessarily drama as. there was with Juan Pablo as far as like that insane scene of her leaving and telling him off and everything and them obviously never having kind of a friendship or anything of the sort after that. When Benoit, we saw him post that they did film stuff. You know, they did film him.

They just didn't put it in the show. So he like kind of acknowledged that they taught like, you know, he was approached, but it didn't to make the cut of being in the show. Because I think they were, you know, he had left on Winter Games and she had two guys on Winter Games, but then at the Winter Games reunion, he proposed. So there was just not less drama because I think they also split pretty amicably. Like I think that they are on good terms now where there's, you know, it's not as dramatic. I don't think she needs to burn anything from that relationship.

Nothing to burn a dress over. Yeah. You are right? Getting a little kink in your neck over there? Yeah, really bad, honestly. I'm going to push through. I'm going to fight. I'm a fighter.

Okay, you are a fighter. Yes, you are a fighter. So yeah, this one-on-one date obviously got very, very, very close, intimate. Jason got a rose, thank God. Imagine if they went through that whole date. And then Claire was like, I'm really sorry. I actually don't think this is going to work out. I'm not giving you a rose.

You just have to give the rose in that situation. You can't not. Yeah. You can't not. Yeah, you absolutely do. There's no way you can get away with doing that. Okay. I don't even know where to really begin with this.

Let's all take a deep breath. Yeah. Honestly, that was really nice. That was really nice. I feel refreshed. I do as well. Just in time to talk about. Strip Dodgeball.

Yep. Because the second group date was strip dodgeball. The gentleman arrived to the dodgeball courts. Right. It was originally dodgeball. Yeah, it was originally dodgeball. And Claire came running in to declare its strip dodgeball. Yeah.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Strip. To the surprise of everyone, to the genuine surprise of everyone. They were just about to start. Chris Harrison had the whistle, which was awesome. Yeah. And they were like, all right, let's play dodgeball. This will be fun.

And then she's like, all right, I'm horny Claire right now because I've been in quarantine for a while. Let's make it. I mean, she had like her tongue out next to Chris Harrison. While watching them play, it was unbelievable. No one was really more shocked than I was. I could not believe what I was watching. I really couldn't. It was pretty hard to digest once it got to the point where they got fully naked.

Like, fully naked. Dicks out swinging in Chris Harrison's face. Claire slobbering. Absolutely slobbering. at these guys. It was, it was shocking. And it's just, it was, it's really hard to think about, like,

not even the fact that they, like, stripped down and all of them were, like, had their dicks and balls hanging around. They also were just, like, jumping around after. And it was, it was just a weird situation. It was, it's one of those things that people keep bringing up. They were like, if this was girls and the guy was like, all right, everyone tits out.

Like, there would be, The Bachelor would be canceled. The fact that guys just whipped their dicks out and Claire sat there just been like, mm-hmm. Like licking her lips like, like, mm. Like, it was. Yeah. People are going to hear that. That would be right in their ears.

Yeah. No, it was, it's hard to digest because obviously we could sit here and laugh and be like, ha ha, dicks and balls, like a bunch of them. Guys being dudes. Yeah, guys being dudes. Yeah, guys being dudes. Yeah. No, literally, though. It was kind of weird.

Like, if we're really going to talk about it, it was incredibly weird. To have them get fully naked. Like, this is the Bachelorette. When, where? Like, you know what? We really just lost our marbles. We have.

We have. And I'm thinking maybe, like, maybe at the end when Claire was like, okay, guys, you know, take it off. She was kidding. I don't know. But at least three, of them were like, yeah. And they straight up took off.

Because some did not. Some stayed in their underwear, which could for them. Yeah. And then there were others that were like, all right. And they just pulled them all the way off and then had to walk back to the house without any clothes on and entered the building with all the rest of the guys. Listen, what if, I'm just trying to figure out how we got to the point where people were getting naked. what if Claire was like Take them off? And everyone was like

Woo! And she said it's a joke But then one of the guys was like, huh, I'm actually going to do it. And then he was like, can I do it? And then Claire was like, yeah, do it. And they all started taking their speedos off. I'm just trying to imagine the situation where the dicks came out. Fully!

Chris Harrison was sitting there looking at these dudes' dicks. With Claire where they were like hopefully okay with it and not like forced to take it on TV I don't think they're gonna strip I think the guys I think the guys I don't think that happened I don't either but it was like the way

after that I felt like some of them were so humiliated that it was like this now this just feels bad like when they were all and I'm sure I'm sure that also was them losing the game and now they can't see Claire and now they're like well now I'm naked in front of all these guys in this house and I'm not even getting I'm not even on the rest of the date but they look pretty they look pretty sad sitting there naked on the couch is my gauge on this is

that the three guys that whip their dicks out I I think they I think they're guys who are like yeah I'll I'll drop these and I'll let it happen Aaron is a professor Let me teach you about this dick. Of legitimate college students, I'm pretty sure. At least that's as far as Bachelor bio goes, he teaches journalism at USC. And he was the first guy to be like, what if?

These guys, they were like, all right, we lost in Dodgeball. She didn't think we got tiny peepies. Let's show what we're working with. And they dropped them. Look. I don't know. There's any scenario could have happen.

All the guys look good. That's the plus. You know. I mean, I mean, not their, yes, not that. I'm sure the dicks looked lovely. Yes. Besides that. Standing there soft dicks out.

No, no, no. After being humiliated, losing a dogball game, you're not going to be like, yeah. What if that was like rock hard? They'd be like, Oh, no, no, no. Hard from Dodgeball right now. Yeah.

I don't know. I think that person would have. And now it's getting uncomfortable, but the whole thing was uncomfortable, so this conversation is uncomfortable. Yeah. You know what? Let's take a quick pause.

compose ourselves. We do. We're getting childish. Yeah, a little bit. We'll compose ourselves. Me. And I'll tell us specifically. Yes.

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I want to apologize for talking in depth about these man's penises. Okay. Apology accepted. Thank you. Thank you. I feel like people might think I was degrading them too much and I would like to keep my composure. do man. Like we're

we're recap these shows and a major part of the episode was the fact that all these guys got naked. Yeah.

And I don't know. They went dicks out for the boys and we have to talk about it. It really was. And this show was ridiculous and we know that. And last season,

we talked about it with the lingerie pillow fight with Peter and the girls who were like, really they made them all getting lingerie and pillow fight? Like really they made these guys stripped to their underwear

and play dodgeball? Like it's, I don't know. So we're even, the sex. The sexes are even now. Right, right. Let's just, I don't even. I mean, I, I got to stop myself.

I stopped myself before I go any deeper. It was wild, wild scene on an ABC show, not something you would expect to see. Right, right. Now, if this was Love Island, I wouldn't even bat an eye. If they whipped out their dicks on Love Island, I would be like as expected. Right. And because if it was also Love Island, like, they're doing that without anybody even asking. Yeah, they're like, we love each other, dicks out. Like, they are obsessed with each other

on that show, like just guys being dudes and they would 100% just take them out for fun. Yeah. Yes, definitely. All right. So after the actual dodgeball date, you know, we see these poor guys go back to the house with the other guys and they're all shocked to see them walk in in these either little underwear or nothing at all. And as you would be. Yeah, this was kind of the beginning of us seeing Yosef being upset that this was a date where I'm not going to lie, I totally see his point. He has a very valid point. If he was on the date and he addressed his concerns, I feel like it would have been okay,

but, you know, he wasn't on the date. But I don't know. It feels like he's trying to pick a fight with Claire anyway. I don't really think he's into Claire. Like, I feel like he's already decided he does not like Claire and is trying to find a way off the show. and this could this will probably be his out and also him screaming at her but will also be the out at the end there but they you know they the winning dashball team

does get to spend more time with Claire easy gave her a little foot rub which sounds quite nice to be honest like this is very nice of easy maybe easy's a foot guy and chasen talked about he opened up to Claire, talked about being a little bullied when he was younger, said he was a hermit crab. We had a debate watching if he had said he hermit or a hermit crab. He said hermit crab, I'm pretty sure. That confused me. We had a, yeah, we had to talk. I seem to be the only one who was confused, I will say.

Did you ever have hermit crabs? No, I definitely know what hermit crabs are. Okay. But I thought he was saying, RIP. I thought he was saying that he, in the context of what he was saying, I thought he was saying, I would never go out as a kid. Yeah. Because I would get bullied for being, was he short? He was short.

He was short. He was very tall now. But I thought he was saying I would go inside and stay there like a hermit. Right. And then when he said hermit crab, I got confused. Right. But I guess it makes. Like a hermit crab that he was stuck in his show.

Okay. And that makes just as much sense as being a hermit. Yeah. But I, well, there, you know, I'm sure the name for hermit crab. comes from hermit being a hermit I'm the dumb one in this scenario for sure there's just no doubt about it it just hit my ear strange because I was expecting to hear him stop at hermit and he was like but I was like a little hermit crab I want to admit that I accidentally murdered my hermit crap when I was younger oh wow to be honest and if you've had a herding hermit crab I think

we might have all done something poor to our hermit crab I princess she had a purple shell obviously. Duh. And I dropped her and boom. She was gone. Damn, RIP princess. I don't mean to laugh.

It was sad. I honestly loved her. I'm literally envisioning me dropping her right now. Yeah. You know, there were plenty of times at the Jersey Shore boardwalk that my family would also go home with the hermit crab. And we had one that lasted a pretty decent time. But then there was also like, you know, you got to make sure they have shells to

to change into. And if you botched that, then that's the end of that. So they have a hard life. So Chasen was dealing with some. Yes, yes. And Chasen, and people were tweeting this at us too, it's really hard to look at Chastin and not just think of John B. It's really hard.

It's really hard. He just looks like a grown-up John B. I've said it since the beginning. Yeah. That's all I need to say. Yeah. I just feel like he almost acts like him, too. It's the lips.

Yeah. It's the lips and mouth. Yeah. And the eyebrows. I think. It's a lot of similarities. Yep. It's a lot of similarities.

But it ended up going very well for Chason because he got the group date rose of that squad. But before that happened, Blake Moynes decided to get dressed and head over to the date because, you know, we keep kind of forgetting that they're stuck in one place and that they, you know, these group dates aren't happening far away. He just walked out his door and walked to the group. group date and interrupted Claire talking to Jay and wanted to talk to Claire and Jay was like, didn't you lose? Didn't you lose in Dodgeball?

Didn't you lose? Get the fuck out of here. And I had said it before. I think that he could have Blake Moynes could have pretended that he was on the red team on dodgeball and it would have been totally fine. Like I don't think Claire was like, oh, you're on the red team. You're on the blue team. I think you're underestimating the fact that Blake Moynes got straight up naked in front of Claire, you don't forget that.

That's fair. That's totally a fair point. Yeah. Maybe she didn't remember who exactly was on what team, but she remembered which dudes got naked. Yeah. And if you got naked, you were on the losing team. Even with that, I'm far more on the side of the guy who is breaking the rules and coming

over to talk to Claire as opposed to the guy who looks up and disgust and says, you lost in dodgeball, so you cannot talk to Claire. Like, I'll never be on that guy's side, ever. Yeah. And that's because we, there are no, oh, guys. Oh. The rules are. There are no rules.

Beautiful. Amazing. I hope we do this every episode. Okay. So Claire lets him stay. They have a little conversation. Jay goes back to the group, tells all the guys, Blake Moynes is here. They all get up like I'm upset mob.

Yeah. They act like they were to kick this dude's ass. They all march over. He's like, we're coming over and kick your ass because you lost in dodgeball and you can't talk to Claire. Yeah, they're like, he wasn't on our team. Yeah. So they all go over and basically try and get Blake Moynes to leave.

It was hilarious because it really did look like they tried to like big dick the situation. Like we're coming up like, Blake, you've got to go. And Claire was like, give us one minute. And three of them were like, fine, yeah, totally. Okay, yeah, sure, sure. Yeah, sure. No problem. Yeah.

Because they walk away. I mean, Claire handled it the best way. said losers. Like, what are we getting mad at Blake for the dodgeball thing? He whipped out his entire dick. That poor guy just got naked. Why don't you guys whip out your dicks and then let's see what happens. To be honest, the guys that got naked should have got more time of Claire, right?

Like, she just degraded them and said, see ya. I ain't taking you on a date. She hit him and quit him. Exactly. So Blake fought for his time. He went back. She did kind of give him, you know, oh, well, this, you know, on this date. and she's like, I don't know, Claire just really cracks me up sometimes.

It's like because it was a group date and there were other guys, it's like, technically this was wrong. And I'm going to now send you back and he tried to kiss her and she didn't kiss him back, all because I think in her mind she was like, this isn't his date. I can't kiss him back. Yeah. And so he leaves and they go back to the great, I felt so bad for him. You just got rejected.

He leaned in for a kiss and she just totally rejected him. totally rejecting him. It's a lot for one day for a guy to take in from dodgeball, getting naked, walking home, sitting on a couch naked, and then getting denied a kiss. That's a lot for one day. It definitely was.

But I think Claire, not to jump ahead a little bit, but I do think that she made up for it when she did give Blake a sneaky rose before the rose ceremony even began, because now she's behind closed doors. It's just the two of them, and she's like,

I fucking love that he broke those. that's a common theme that's a common especially with her and blake because it's so funny because i know because the way she teased it up is so funny too because she's always like you weren't supposed to do that but i loved it like you're you're always waiting it's now turning out where she always loves it but at the beginning it was like you message me before the show that was bad and wrong but i loved it yeah and now it's like all right if you break the rules apparently Yeah. And then when she gets you privately, she's like, this is the best thing ever.

Blake's going to break every rule. Yeah. He should do it on purpose. Just start throwing stuff on the ground. Start flipping over table. Just like, this is me breaking the rules. Yep. Yep.

Exactly. Ria. Fran. Do you think that Claire should have given Blake that rose there? Yeah, I do. Yeah. Yeah. I do.

Okay, good. Because. I felt like. was the right thing to do. He really had a rough night. I don't want to keep going back to the Dodswell thing. I know. He got fully naked and then he walked naked and then he got his rejected by a kiss and then it's like, why not just give him the rose? I don't know. I'm not really feeling Blake. Like I have no attraction to Blake, but I'm not the bachelorette. So it doesn't matter. But I just feel like, you know, the sexiest thing about Blake is the rule breaking. Because besides

that, if he was like this nice guy. I think he knows that too. Yeah, I think he's playing up to the bad boy image because it's really what's making him interesting to Claire. Absolutely. But he did deserve that rose. Absolutely. Poor Blake. Yeah.

So even before that, Brandon tried to take some time with Claire at the end of the group date. It turned out to be an absolute disaster. And he is not to jump the gun, already sent home. And I hope he is feeling good about himself. I hope he's in a good place. And I hope he's drinking some Kores Seltzer. I'm ready to tell him, hey, Brandon, you know how you can make yourself feel better?

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Oh, cutting stems. That's fantastic. They're not even showing The Bachelorette. They're just our show. That's amazing. Trending on Twitter. That's fantastic. How? How did that happen?

Because I can tear up right now. I'm getting emotional. Isn't that crazy? That is insane. You're just on Twitter and you're, I'm going to do it. It's a good show. I recommend. The show.

Television. The Bachelor of First Days with Claire have officially begun. What the heck? Yeah. Wow. It really is. What the hell? How did that happen?

That is good for us. Wow. Shout out. Us is right. Congrats. Wow. Happy for us, guys. That was pretty insane.

It's pretty cool. It really is. Like when people go to click The Bachelorette on Twitter, they see our show. Okay, that's insane. All right, let's get on with the show. Okay. This is really the last thing we have to talk about, guys. It's Brandon.

Brandon tried to have a special moment with Claire, tried to pull her aside and say, hey, I'm really excited about getting to know you. And I think he had said something along the lines of, you know, when he found out it was her. He was really looking forward to it. and he and then Claire really put him on the spot and was like, what do you, straight up like, what do you like about me?

And he obviously said she is beautiful, got that off right off the bat. And then she was like anything else. She's like anything else besides, you know, I'm pretty like. And he froze. He couldn't come up with anything. He had no response. Couldn't come up with one adjective.

Couldn't think of one. couldn't make up one. Make something up. Make anything up. He really just needed to make something up in that moment. I know that it's like, yeah, Claire is asking for a lot. She's asking for her ego to be stroked the entire night. We see that, we know.

Well, what did you like about me? Yeah, like we, but you're The Bachelorette, so you know what? The attention should be on you. You are the star at the show. They are fighting for your love. So I get that. It just, I don't know. I feel kind of torn about it because I feel like Brandon was cute.

And then all of a sudden, maybe he just is not with the word. So maybe he's not that great because anybody else would have just made something up. Any adjective would have fit. You're brave. You're strong. You're independent. Literally anything besides beautiful and hot would have been good and he thought of nothing. So maybe honestly,

maybe he wasn't going to do well because if you can't talk on camera on the show, probably not going to go far. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think the punishment of sending him home for that does not fit the crime, quote unquote. Like he didn't make that big of a mistake. He was just like, I came on the show. I saw that it was you. I was excited.

I really think I'm going to like you. And she's like, well, what do you like about me now if you were so excited to come on the show? And you just couldn't think of anything. But I think this along with freaking out or being upset about the guy's not jumping to pull her away to do time for to talk to her is sort of like I'm okay with that. I'm totally okay with that. Like those two things happening in the same episode, it sets a pattern of her of the way she's going to run the ship as the Bachelorette. I think that's totally fine. Did Brandon deserve to get sent home for that? No. Right. But that's how Buclair's going to do it and that's how it's going to

roll. And I think that's a good way to set the tone. And it goes back to what I said about, she has no tolerance for being embarrassed in any way, shape, or form. Like she, the fact that he couldn't come up with like, you're funny or, you know, you're, you got a lot of hutzpah. Like, I don't, like, literally, he could have come up with truly anything. That and. have been bad if he said that. I think she would have taken it as a compliment. I think she would have been like, thank you so much.

Yeah. And it really could not come up with anything. So it's funny, he posts on his Twitter, like he re-shared the clip of the conversation that The Bachelor I posted on Twitter. A yawn or a sneeze, I couldn't tell. It was a mix.

It was a mixture. Okay, we're good. I'm good. Oh, sleepy Trent. Yep. He re-shared it and wrote, never been good with homework with the laugh you face. So clearly he must have thought that he had gotten put on the spot.

Like he was supposed to study Claire's life story. And then he was like, I don't know you like that yet. I don't know what my favorite things about you are because I don't know you. Then she was like, well, the other, it was almost like, well, the other guys have complimented me. Well, the other guys lied to me. So why don't you lie? Exactly. Other guys said they like me for blah, blah, blah, blah.

I think it was almost like Claire thought she for a second wasn't famous enough. Like she was like, how could you not know me? I've been on so many shows at this point. How could you not know me? I don't know. She's a little annoying, but I get it. And I think it's good TV. Like, I kept going to watch her just be like, you're out.

Right. Like if you make one, for sure. If you make one mistake, you're out of here. You are out. But the thing is, if you break the rules, you're, good, but a mistake, you're bad. It's like, where do we fall here, you know? And also somebody pointed out on the after show, they said,

is it hypocritical of Claire to love Dale at first sight basically overlooks? Right. And then be like, Brandon doesn't know anything about Claire any likes her because she's pretty. Yeah. Look, should she have sent him home there? Probably not. Yeah. Did she because this is the kind of ship she's running?

Yeah, it makes sense because this is like the kind of Bachelorette that she is. I feel like there could be plenty of other situations where she just sends guys home willy-nilly. I think that send-off is going to get Brandon a ticket to paradise. I think the way that that went down, people want Brandon to maybe have another chance. I would think so. He's very, you know, he's an attractive guy. It's, yeah, it was a really tough spot because he doesn't know her at all. And like, what's worse to be like, oh, I stocked your entire life before.

coming here, I know everything about you. Like I guess maybe that was the answer she was looking for, but... So why could you be born, Blake Moynes? I think maybe it was just his delivery that sucked. And if he had just said, look, I think you're really beautiful. I'm looking forward to getting to know you more.

I've only seen what you've done on TV and I would love to know like who you are on a deeper level. She would have been fine. I would think she would have been fine. But the way he kind of stumbled and it was like, I know you.

Like, I can't think of anything else. Yeah, it was terrible delivery. Yeah. I don't think you should have went home. But this is the kind of place she's running. And even if we disagree with it,

any type of good TV. Feels like, yeah, it's got some energy. It's got some drama. Some oof. Yeah. For sure, because it left on a cliffhanger.

We didn't actually get to see the rose ceremony. It appears Yosef is going to pop off before the rose ceremony. He was unhappy about the dodgeball. and he seems like he has some very choice words for Claire where they get into quite a fight. Yeah, I'm done with that vampire. I'm done with him being around. I think he'll be good for,

I think the send-off's going to be great. Yeah. I think when he gets sent home, it's going to be very good, but he doesn't want to be there. He really doesn't want to be there anymore. He's not vibing with Claire, and it's going to blow up,

but it's going to be entertaining, but he is not long for this show. Right. It really doesn't seem like, which is shocking because they all knew the Bachelor it was Claire. So I don't know. I guess maybe when you meet someone, you don't know what it's going to be like.

Yeah, you see, like Brandon, Brandon clearly saw her and was like, oh, she's beautiful. Yeah. I'm going to meet her and hopefully it goes well. Yosef probably felt the same way. It's just not working out. Yeah. Definitely.

Definitely. All right, guys, that wraps up our bachelor out recap week two. Here we are. That's it. Good stuff. We will, what we'll be doing? We'll be back next week. And we'll be doing the cutting stems, the after show.

If you're not watching, you can check that out on YouTube to replay it. And we will be back doing our recap next week too. Trent, did you have something? I was just going to say that once the Tasha thing happens and we see her for the first time, that's going to be a moment. It is. That's going to be an explosion of cheer. Not because I do. I'm starting to like Claire more and more, actually, with each episode.

but just knowing what's coming down the pipe and knowing that they haven't confirmed it officially and then when it happens, that's going to be a very exciting time. It's going to be like when Edward finally sucks, Bell's Blood. Beautiful. Goodbye, everyone.