Chicks in the Office - The Bachelor Is BACK w/ Trent + Quitting the Royal Family

Episode Date: January 9, 2020

CITO Merch > http://bit.ly/citomerch. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle quit the royal family (5:47-22:44). The Bachelor Premiere recap with Trent (25:41-2:09:13). Follow us on Instagram @chicksintheoffice and on Twitter @chicksintheoff + subscribe to our Snapchat show > http://bit.ly/thegroupchat & our YouTube > http://bit.ly/CITOYOUTUBE.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/chicks-in-the-office

Hey, Chicks in the Office listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. This is... What's up, everyone? It's Chicks in the Office with Ria and Fran, giving you that Friday energy on a Thursday. Guys, it's a great day because the Bachelor recaps are back. We're back, baby. Our life has meaning again.

We're back, baby. Yep. Reality TV is in full swing. general is in full swing. So it's going to be a great year at the beginning of 2020. Bachelor starts off right at the right time. Love Island will be coming back on Sunday. A lot of people have messaged us asking us, how are we watching it? Yeah.

We are still unsure. So I feel like we need to figure it out now. I guess people are asking us how we get the VPN and all that. We still have not figured that out ourselves. You have to buy it. You have to pay for it. you have to buy it. I think most people use ExpressVPN.

This sounds like an ad. We totally should have got sponsored by a VPN company. We should have. This is not an ad. This is just genuinely people are DMing us and asking. A truly actually giant missed opportunity for us. That I know like I always see Cody Coe does ads for ExpressVPN. We totally should be doing those.

But yeah, I think that's like the easiest way to do it. If you want to go to their website and try it, I think that's probably how I will end up doing it. If not, this is also a really unhelpful answer. There are some guys in the office who are like the rip video guys. They're like the underground guys. Like they know the ins and outs of the internet and they just sent us Dropbox files and we watch them.

That could also be how we do it. We're also trying to figure out the best way to talk about it because I Obviously, it's every night and the timing's different. So it's hard for the podcast. But we'll figure out a way, whether it's on the show or on YouTube or something. Yeah, we're definitely going to figure it out. If you have a preference on which way you would rather listen to a Love Island recap, let us know. Do you want a video form?

Do you want it podcast form? You let us know what you guys want. Please, actually, this is not like a, hey, send us ideas. And then we're kidding and we won't read it. We actually are going to read it. Send it chicks in the office. DM the account. Yep. And then what else was? Oh, yeah. I mean, it's just so much reality TV this first week has been crazy with The Bachelor of Vanderpump rules. Cs, Cess Sakea is back and the Jeopardy greatest of all time is on. Like, there's a lot of great stuff. My Chicago shows come back tonight. Super pumped about that. And so a lot of TV, I think we just have to get right into it and start with our recap of The Bachelor because we have Trent and it is long. Three hour episode.

Yes, the episode was three hours long, three hour premiere. So, of course, you know, we had to do our due diligence and give you a great recap with Trent. Covered it all. He's back. We covered it all. But there was also some breaking news about the royal family, huge news. So we had to put that in there as well. So I think we're just going to start it off with the royal family.

Huge breaking news. Harry and Megan quit the family. They quit. So like I just said, the royal family. family major drama. We have to get into it, talk about everything that's going on. But first, before we do that, I know you guys, it's tough. It's the beginning of a new year. You're trying to eat healthy. You're trying to stick to those New Year's resolutions. Daily Harvest makes it easy to eat well. They deliver thoughtfully sourced chef crafted food right to your door and everything can

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Dailyharvest.com. Prince Harry and Megan Markle are out on the royal family. Out. They are stepping away is what they said. I'll read their Instagram posts. They posted it on their Instagram account, which if you're not following, you should start following because maybe they don't have,

they don't have the same role of restrictions and they can start posting on their social media more. Maybe they'll get their own accounts. Maybe Megan Markle will get her Instagram back. I'm sure she's been dying for that. Right. Just be normal person. Just like to get her own Instagram account back.

I mean, she probably does have one that she can use secretly, but one that she can use publicly where she doesn't have, they don't have to be like super professional all the time. They wrote, after many months of reflection and internal discussions, we have chosen to make a transition this year in starting to carve out a progressive new role within this institution. We intend to step back as senior members of the royal family and work to become financially independent while continuing to fully support Her Majesty the Queen. It is with your encouragement, particularly over the last few years, that we feel prepared to make this adjustment.

We now plan to balance our time between the UK and North America, continuing to honor our duty to the Queen, the Commonwealth, and our patronages. This geographic balance will enable us to raise our son with an appreciation for the royal tradition into which he was born, while also providing our family with the space to focus on the next chapter, including the launch of our new charitable entity. We look forward to sharing the full details of this exciting next step in due course as we continue to collaborate with Her Majesty the Queen, the Prince of Wales, the Duke of Cambridge, and all relevant parties. Until then, please accept our deepest thanks for your continued support, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

They're out. They're out. So the rumors were true. This whole thing, I need so many more details. Like I have so many questions of how this is going to work. Like, okay, they want to work towards financial independence. Okay. Does that mean that they're not going to be taking like the royal family money that the taxpayers pay in the UK?

Are they not going to be using that anymore? Are they completely on their own? I've been talking with Kelly Keys because you know Kelly loves the royal family we love the royal family and she was just like what about security like are they going to get mobbed

do they still get the same royal security where are they going to live what are they going to do like it's just so many questions yeah I feel like the questions are endless correct you guys are way more into the royal family than I am I don't really understand all of the logistics that go into the royal

family never really cared about them until I met you thank you for introducing me no I'm kidding I mean, I obviously knew about the royal family. But I didn't actually really pay attention. But I did start paying attention in the past like three years. And it always seemed like ever since Megan came in the picture, there were rumors about how they didn't get along with the rest of the family.

And I wanted to believe that that wasn't true, but I wanted to believe it was true at the same time. So we get the drama. Yeah. And it looks like it's happening. It's just like. I just want to know why. What happened?

Right, right. What happened between the family that you guys had to step up? the way because clearly some shit went down. And I don't even know if it's just the family, but it might just also be like constantly, constantly getting hounded by the British tabloids and the news. Like they can, they,

she has gotten ripped apart time and time again. They can't do anything right. She's wearing the wrong this. She's saying the wrong thing. So many, so many things that I'm sure they eventually got fed up. And I'm also sure a lot of people will put this on Megan. like you know, Megan, oh, you married Megan now, the whole thing. But Harry has kind of always been like the royal bad boy, you know?

And in his younger years, he was breaking rules, getting caught. There was tons of instances where you thought, like, I don't really think he likes having to do all this royal stuff. And maybe he and Megan, the two of the combination of them, were like, why the hell are we doing this? Now, what are the steps when you want to walk away from the Royal Family? Because I didn't even know this was allowed. Because this has not really happened before at this level.

This is the first time in World Family history. This is an unprecedented move that the, you know, grandson of the queen is just like, I'm going to go back to America or whatever. people think that they'll probably be in Canada because they spend a lot of their time in Canada. And that's, you know, he, I don't, it's, that's what I'm saying. I don't really know what the steps are. It's also like, do they have to give up their titles? Probably not.

They still stay who they are. Right. Because if you are that person, you just were born. Right. But it's also like they didn't come out saying like, we denounce our titles and we will no longer be the Duke and Duchess. Like, you know, of Sussex, it was like we were just stepping down from some of these responsibilities and creating like a new idea of what, you know, our royal role can be, I guess. But how do now Kate and Will feel? See, that's, that's now the whole family dynamic is crazy because Will, will can't go anywhere.

because it goes Elizabeth, Charles, and then will. Like once he has that direct line of to the king. So will be the king. Yes. Like once Elizabeth is done with her reign of a bajillion years, it would go to Prince Charles who was already quite not very old, but it's pretty old. And then after that it would be Will. Oh, so Harry has a lot of time before he's king.

Yes. But Harry has no way of being the king. Unless there was unfortunate passings of members of the royal family. And is that only because Will is the firstborn son? And that's it, firstborn son. That's the king. Just like the same thing. Now, I was getting into real hypotheticals here.

You know, now you have Prince Harry and Megan Markle. and they could be living their regular life. Who knows they said financials independence. Like maybe Megan's going to go back to acting. I'm sure they will continue doing all their charitable things like they said in the statement. You think Megan's going to go back to acting? She could. She totally could.

She could go back to acting. I saw one of the top comments on their actual Instagram post was someone saying Megan Markle will be starring as herself, Megan, in season six of the crowns. Like, so you never know. Maybe she does want to go back to acting. Maybe she doesn't. But like, if they are serious about cutting off that,

the money, they got to be doing something. Right, because I mean, they obviously have money. And Megan has money. But they're obviously still. getting money from the royal family. There's no way they're not. They're part of the royal family. But they're saying they're working towards financial independence. What happened between them? I need to know what broke the royal family apart. That's what I'm wondering. Give us the juicy details. And also think about like the next generation, right? So like Archie, George, Charlotte, like Kate

and Will's kids, they're going to have cool crazy cousin Archie who is like living it up, doesn't have to deal with any of the royal duties. George is going to be like, well, shit, I'm going to be king. I can't do anything. And Charlotte and Louis could be like, well, damn, maybe we'll just quit too. Yeah, and then the whole royal family just... I texted Kelly and was like, is this the beginning of the end of the royal family? And she did not like that.

I don't think that. Well, it could be. This is... Once you let one go, you can't tell the other ones that they can't go. Once you have somebody of that stature, be like, you know what? I'm kind of done with this. and it happens, other people could totally do it. So we'll see what happens, but this is, it's pretty huge.

I would love to know what the queen thinks. I need to know what the queen thinks. I feel like the queen is probably cursing them out. I need to know it. In a very classy way. Oh, man. She can't be pleased. This is her life.

No. It's her family. It's never happened before. need behind the scene look at this. And Sorry, I'm on the blinds now And I'm doing research. On the Royals?

Yes. It's like you never want to be Like I'm sure as the queen She's never wanted her family I also get a lot of this from the crown Which is, you know, not great Because it is a television Oh so all the information

You're giving me is from a fake show No, no, no. Well, no, the crowd They're based on very real people And the lineage is all the same And the storylines are based on true events. But I would just think she would be so pissed that anybody in her family would

kind of break the mold a little bit. And, you know, there have been all these rumors about Harry and Will kind of being on bad terms. And Harriet kind of talked about it in that documentary and kind of gave like the classic, you know, we'll always be brothers no matter what line, which is code for we're not talking right now. Like whenever you're like, oh, you know, well, will always be brothers.

You're like, oh, shit, you guys hate each other. Right. The only thing tying us together, we're always going to be brothers. Yeah. I mean, Kate's got to be like, well, I mean, come on. Let me out. Yeah, she's going to get to do all these other things. Although, it's, but once again, is it that, like, what's the big deal?

I mean, with Harry and. What's the deal with that? But, you know, Harry and Megan have been pushed so far for, you know, since they've been together now that I don't know what anybody thought. Like, do everyone just think they were going to stick it out for the rest of their lives being pretty miserable? Like, remember that interview with Megan that went viral and she looked miserable? She was just talking about, like, how sad she is and like, it, it, what do they think?

She was just going to do that forever? I kind of thought so. Yeah. Not that I would hope that for her, but I just thought, hey, she's in the royal family. Exactly. That's why this is like, to do this now. Right. That's why this is so shocking and yet not not shocking.

I don't know. I don't know how to feel. I'm very confused. I just, what if they got their own reality TV show? I would love that. Fran, you read my mind. I was going to say that before. I would love a reality TV show on this.

If they need a quick way to make money, boom. I mean, people are going to be hounding them to get them on TV. But will they do it or do they? Or are they doing this for privacy? Maybe they're doing this for privacy, though. It could be. So maybe they don't want the reality to be. Yeah. No.

And they also, you know, Megan could also never go back to acting. My first thought was that she maybe would go back to acting, but she could, you know, maybe be like a writer or like a, you know, a correspondent of some sort. You know, something of that nature where she's like writing for Vogue and like things, things sets. You know, like something very posh, but still, but where she's still like not really doing that much work. Something kind of royal.

Like she has a column like once a month. Yeah. Or she's an executive producer on some stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Behind the scenes kind of things. They're your name on some things.

Megan Markle working on many projects this year. Right. And of course, I'm sure all of the charities that they work for and all of those things they will continue to do, which I said before. But they always have to make sure that that is in the statement. crazy. I don't know. More stuff has to come out. They're out. That's it. Like, just see ya. I can't believe they're going to split their time too. That's what's crazy. It's not even like they're going to stay in the UK. Like, they're just piecing. They're really out. And they're saying they're

going to split their time, but I feel like that could mean that they're just moving the hell out of it. They're just trying to put it lightly on everyone right now. Yeah. But they'll keep a residency in the UK, but just to keep people quiet. Exactly. Exactly. More breaking news about the Royals. Buckingham Palace release a statement. This is maybe the most aggressive statement from the queen of all time.

Oh, let's hear it. Let's hear it. Read in what you think she would sound like. Oh, absolutely not. No, like her tone of voice. I was like, are you, you're trying to make me do an old lady British accent. It's not going to happen. No, no.

Read it in her attitude. Discussions with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are at an early stage. We understand their desire to take a different approach, but these are complicated issues that we will take time to work through. That's it. That's it? That's it. You said it was aggressive.

That is aggressive. That's very aggressive coming from the queen. Read it one more time. It is very aggressive. And this is, Pierce Morgan tweeted it. Breaking. Buckingham Palace says it's complicated. Translation.

The queen's bloody furious. Like the queen can never say I'm pissed But like this is as much of I'm pissed as you could possibly get Discussions with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex Are at an early stage We understand their desire to take a different approach But these are complicated issues

That will take time to work through And I read it wrong the first time I said that we will take time to work through She just said that will take time to work through Like there's no That will? That will or will? You're confusing

I know, I know. When I first said it, I said that we will take time, which kind of makes it seem like a group effort, that they're in it together. You know, we will take time to work through this. She just wrote, these are complicated issues that will take time to work through. Oh, that.

These are complicated issues that will take time to work through. We're not going to work together on this. We're not going to take time to work through. Hell no. This just will take time. I got it. Yeah. This is.

And, you know, and it's also never really lengthy statements, but like this is like British Twitter right now, Royal Family Twitter. This guy wrote, that's possibly the most aggressive statement by Buckingham Palace I've ever seen. So it's aggressive. Yeah. You were right. Yeah. Yeah, I guess, I mean, we've never seen them put out a statement like that. So yeah.

No. And this is from the queen. This is. She is pissed. Update. and palace appeared not to have been informed of Harry and Megan's decision using a terse statement that said the situation was complicated. What?

So they weren't notified? I don't know. I don't know. Some shit must have happened. Wow. Wow, they couldn't come up with a better, uh, template? No, this is all, yeah. It's tough.

It hasn't changed in a while. Just royal communications. It's like Tommy smokes makes better ones. Yeah. Right. This looks fake. Yeah. If I saw this, I wouldn't believe this was the real thing.

thing. Crazy. Not shocking. I mean, I would think that those, that like we said, would not be pleased. I will say it is very bold of Megan and Harry to do that. And it's like a power move on their part to just get out. They're probably shaking in their boots right now.

I know. You know, it's all fun in games until the queen calls you up. It makes me think that maybe they did not know that this was going to happen. Like to put out that kind of statement Makes me think like, oh, you were unaware that they were just going to announce that they were stepping away. Like it wasn't exactly a crafted response of yes, this is happening. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like it was like this is complicated.

Like it kind of makes it seem like maybe the queen was blindsided. Wow. Oh my God. I need the queen to be blindsided for the royal family drama. This is crazy. Yeah. All right, guys, the moment we have all been waiting for our Bachelor recap, we are so excited and honestly, kind of tired. It was a long three hours, you know, Monday night, all of a sudden it's 11 o'clock.

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with this buffy comforter we have both slept so well we both love it it is so great and even if you're if you maybe you get hot in your sleep you sweat in your sleep it is fantastic it keeps you at the perfect temperature so you still feel all warm and cozy but you don't don't feel like you're overheating. Plus, the cloud comforter is covered in ultra-breathyable eucalyptus fabric. It's softer than cotton and it's sustainably produced using recyclable eucalyptus and its fill is made from 100% recycled water bottles. So no need to wake up in the middle of the night to how hot or cold you are. Buffy has you covered. Also, what's great about Buffy, you get a free trial so you can try the comforter in your own bed for free. If you don't love

it, you can return it at no cost. I have this Buffy Comforter. Like I said, guys, it makes getting into bed just one of my favorite parts of the day just because of how much I love this comforter. For $20 off your Buffy comforter, visit Buffy.comfee.com and enter Chicks. So that's $20 off your Buffy.comfitor. Visit Buffy.com and enter code chicks. The Bachelor is back. The ReChan. The ReChi is back. The ReChi. are back. Trent is also back. I am very excited to be here. I know in your guys is highlight tape, the chicks in the office, 2019 highlight tape. I had a bit of a snippet on there that said where I said, this is the best part of my day, and now the best part of my day has returned. I felt like the last four months without the bachelor with no bachelor programming. It's like walking through the desert

without anything, no water, nothing to drink. And then we hit January. And we are just all the way back. All the way. All the way. I said to Ria, like, should we have maybe asked Trent about doing recaps every week before we just told the world that he would be doing recaps every week. But then we were like, he loves doing these. I love doing it. I am more than happy for you guys to sign me up without asking me to come and do Bachelor recaps. I will do them whenever you ask me to do them. Very, very exciting and unreal episode, unreal premiere of the season. I think we got to just jump right into it. Love to catch up with you, Trent, but we see you every day. Yeah. We are caught up. The listeners are not.

not caught up with you, but they're about to be. That's okay. Just jump right in. I'm here to talk Bachelor. I'm not here to talk about anything else. Very true. Perfect. Guys, we had three hours of jam-packed action.

Like, there was not a dull moment of the whole show, three hours long. And, of course, they hit us right away, opens up with a clip of, is it the finale? Who knows? Of Chris Harrison being like, there's something that we just found out. We just found out. We have to tell you. And, you know, it looks like Pete has some kind of. a panic attack, some kind of meltdown.

Who knows what's happening? What the news is? He's freaking out. Then it goes into the trailer for the whole season. We get Pete's mom. Pete's mom. It almost seemed like, no offense to Pete's mom. She seems like a very sweet lady. But she seemed like she was like on her deathbed. She was like, don't let her go. Yeah. He was like, whoa, what is happening?

Yeah, I was confused about that, but I'm also excited. The premiere blew me away. It was so much better than I expected, although I was excited for it anyway. Yeah. It just was perfect from beginning to end. The stitches on his head in the coming attractions really add some character. Bad boy vibes. It's like the season is going to wear and tear on him and even physically it's going to give him a scar on the top of his head.

It was different because, you know, it's sort of a formula show where it's going to be the premiere. People are going to get out of the limos. We're going to meet all these girls. And then just as soon as you think you know, what's going on. They open like you said, and they open at the end like a Quentin Tarantino movie. And it's like, why are we seeing this now? What am I supposed to read into this?

Maybe it's nothing. Maybe it's everything. It's just, it's so good to have it back of my life. And they know how to flip it on you when you think you've got it all pinned down. We got limo entrances. Oh my God. Entrances. A group date, a one-on-one date and the beginning of another group date.

All in one night. It was amazing. Pee looks good, guys. I'm just like he came out. They're working the top gun angle a lot already. Like he's in his aviators, his leather jacket. Like he's moving kind of in slow motion. He's got a good tan.

I need to take back some past comments that I've said about Peter. I said, it took one night guys. It took one night. I would say 10 minutes. It took one minute for me to completely flip. I said in the past and I know I said this that I will never be in on Pete. I said, I don't think I'll ever be in on Pete. We didn't think he was sexy.

literally took one minute. Oh, wait. I have the text message. 8.04 p.m. I'm so in on Pete. Four minutes. Four minutes. And I was so in on Pete. He looks good.

There was no denying it. I couldn't look at him and think, I don't find him attractive and I don't think he's great. No, he looks great. He sounds great. His personality is way better than Ari and Coltons. Do you remember the past two bachelors we had? Snoos.

Yeah, no. He was good all night. Yeah, and I knew I was never fully out on Pete. I was always a fan of his. I know the rumors everybody wanted Mike to be The Bachelor. And I knew Pete had it in him to be The Bachelor when he, the episode where we were driving in his car last Bachelorette. The condoms in the car. It's like, this guy's got a different side to him.

He's got a side that he's not just one dimensional. He's not just Pete the Pilot. He's a guy who can be the Bachelor. And here we are. And I think all that I saw on Twitter are people are excited about him being a Bachelor. He handled all the women really well, jumping back and forth, like the limo, everybody coming out the limo. I don't know. There might be something like a neurological flip that we have when, like, once they become the bachelor, you're like, hmm, I don't know.

Yeah, it just instantly, I don't know. What's this thing about pilots that they're all, you know, you love a man in uniform? I didn't know. It's prestigious. It's like, look at that. They're walking through the airport. They've got their, they got their uniforms on. They got their hats.

They can go through security. They can fly. They can fly. They can fly. That is a thing humans love that people can just fly. And Pete is one of the pilots. You know what I think helped Pete's case? I watched Catch Me If You Can for the first time over the weekend.

There you go. My first time watching it. And it was fantastic. I love Leo. He looked great as a pilot. And then all of a sudden I saw Pete walking through the airport doing the same thing. And even Hank turned to me and said, oh, he looks like Leo and catch me if you can. And, you know.

Boom. It's over. That was it. Boom. That's all you needed to hear. Okay, guys. So we all know that Pete kind of lives like five seconds from the Bachelor mansion. So it kind of seemed like Chris Harrison picked him up at his house or dropped him off

at the mansion. Like they're just driving around the neighborhood. He's ready to go. We get a few opening packages for some of the girls, not all of them. It's always very interesting what girls get them and what do not. It started with Alexa who owns her own business in Chicago. She's 27. She waxes for a living.

and, you know, we're off... Vagina waxing everything. Let's... She said she'll wax. She will wax anything. And we started off just on a great note with her saying, you know, waxing is a lot like love. You just have to bear it all. Sure.

Yeah. Why not? Why not? Force those metaphors and analogies and all that. Exactly. This was, we should, now looking back on it, we can say that this was one of the dirtier limo entrances or a rival whatever you want to call it.

The whole episode was very kinky. The whole episode. Every part of it. There was a lot of sexual jokes. There was a lot of like innuendos. It was jam-packed. There really was. I hate saying the word horny, but you guys are going to tell me you weren't horny

halfway through the episode. I'll tell you was Pete was horny. All the girls were horny. All the girls were horny. They had a few drinks. They seemed like people were drinking more drinks than usual and they were just ready to go. Okay. we saw a package from Hannah Ann.

She got that very wholesome family gal from Tennessee. Her dad's making jokes about Peter. Tammy, she's wrestling. She was on the boys' wrestling team in high school. Victoria P. She's a nurse. 27, very age appropriate. Pete is 28.

I thought he was younger than that, but Pete is 28. I thought younger as well. Yep. Wow. Age appropriate bachelor. Exactly. I really thought he was younger. And when I heard 28, I was like, oh, that's actually, I like that a lot.

You got to the ideal age for a bad thing. I agree. What was Colton? 26. I remember thinking he was too young. 25 or 25 or 26. Ari was older. Nick Vee going back and further was older.

Between like 28 and 30, I feel like it's a sweet spot. Because you can get away with having like really young contestants. Yeah. And nobody's looking at you like this isn't like you're not in this for real. Right. Exactly. So Victoria, she is beautiful. She kind of has that sad story.

You know, her dad passed away when she was two years old. She took care of her little sister. Her mom was an addict, but her mom is now sober. They had a great, like, you know, we're baking cookies. We're a family portion. And she's a nurse, which is great as well. And then Kelly also got one. She's an attorney from Chicago 27 also.

Pete has met her already. Very interesting. Which is going to come into play. we can talk about in a little bit. Kelly's package, her part, I don't know how many of your listeners watch Succession, but it very much looked like a succession parody when they went to their family. It was like this high-powered, their law firm. Right.

And it just had that vibe to me. The brothers. The brothers. The obnoxious brothers. I'm going to ask him if you ever join the Mahal. Dude, that's disgusting. That's her sister. Classic Roman.

That's just classic Roman. Exactly. Madison, she is fresh out of college, I think. I mean, she's 23, and she was like a high school basketball star. So a lot of basketball puns. She's from Auburn. So, you know, Auburn, Auburn, Alabama, Alabama, you know, rivals. I hope could come into play here.

Madison is well. Role-Tide, War Eagle. Madison had a great night, and I think she's well on her way to a potential hometown way down the road. Because I need her dad back in the picture in terms of like he was just, during her package, her video package, it was like, this dad wants to be a star. And, well, isn't he the basketball coach? Yes. Yeah.

He's been her coach. No, he's not the head coach, but he is on the staff of like, I think maybe the women's, the women's team. Yeah. So. Well, we'll go with that. That's a guess. He coached her, her whole life. So, and you know what?

But watching the video package, I was just like, oh, my God, these girls, now that I'm getting older, I guess I'm just more. I'm like, oh, my God, these girls are so young. Like, they're taking, it looked like she was taking graduation photos. around campus. Like here she is on the lawn. Here she is in front of the Auburn sign. I'm like, oh my God, these girls are so young, so young. And then it closed with Marissa.

She was in pageants when she was younger. She was bullied about her weight. When she quit pageant, she ended up gaining a lot of weight, but now she's lost it again. She's back. She's hoping to find love with Pete. We can go right in to all the limos. The episode

also moved really fast, which I liked. Because normally, one when it's just limo arrivals they kind of drag it out it's like you're not getting the girls coming out of the limo till 845 like it's a it's a long long time it almost feels like you're Pete like you're watching these girls come in I was like oh yeah they're just going by me rapid fire they're just going by me I don't know these girls names I don't I don't know what they're talking about sometimes and you just keep it moving um the first girl out of the limo was a lea she's an orthodontist assistant she's 24 is from san Antonio uh Pete just hit her with a big fat wow

She had cleavage going on. Shout to Alea. She had good boobs. Yeah. I think they all have great boobs on this season. There's a lot of good boobs than I usually think I see on The Bachelor. I'm a gentleman. I don't notice these types of things.

I think about their personalities first. But yeah, I think you guys are right. Yeah. There was a lot of cleavage. And her grandmother wrote a letter for Pete, which she gave to him and was like they can read and aside. Good, a good way to get Pete

to like have to talk to her later, you know? Like Pete has the letter in his pocket. He's like, oh shit, I got this letter in my pocket. Right. We'll talk about more when the letter happens. I want to talk about the letter later. Sydney is the next girl out of the limo,

retail marketing manager, 24 from Birmingham, Alabama. She said she's not your typical southern girl and she hit her with the line. Not every girl from Alabama makes bad decisions. I don't know about to. Roasted. Roastin Hannah.

I don't know if that's a good idea. I think taking shots at the former bachelorette, a guy or a woman that Pete was clearly much in love with, which we are going to talk about down the road as well. Yeah. But, you know, it makes an impression. It stands out for sure. Definitely. Okay.

Then Hannah Ann comes in. She's a model, like I said, she's 23. She said, hopefully you can save room for another Hannah in your heart. As the episode goes on, I know this sounds ridiculous because, like, she has the same name as Hannah Brown. But the way Pete says Hannah, like just has a different ring to it. I think it's just from hearing him say it so many times during the Bachelorette where he'd be like, Hannah, like Hannah. Like, Hannah. Like he was doing the same. Hannah Ann. And then he did it to Hannah Brown at the end. He was like, oh, Hannah. Hannah Brown. He just really likes the name Hannah. He does.

Like saying it out loud. You got to say Hannah Ann, I think, just to make it just to separate it. For sure. For sure. And if you come in, like introducing yourself as Hannah Ann. You want everybody calling you Hannah Ann. Yeah, because there's so many Hannah's out there. How is she supposed to be different? And she's friends with Hannah G. She and Hannah G are good friends, yeah. Oh, I think I saw an Insta story about that, right?

Yeah, Hannah G posted on her story about them, yeah. And then the next out of the limo is Sarah. She literally got like 15 seconds. She's a medical radiographer 24. Also from Tennessee. She just, you know, talked about having butterflies. There she goes back into the mansion. Then next was Lauren, a marketing executive 26 from Glendale, California.

First time, I don't know if this is the first time. It's the first time I can remember of somebody wearing a jumpsuit out of the limo. A plus. It was an A plus. Such a very good jumpsuit. First time I've seen it as well. Yeah. I don't think that.

That doesn't have me. Everybody's talking about the dresses and this and that. The jumpsuit was A plus. I don't want to say it, but I mean, her ass look great in that jumpsuit. Like if you have a good ass, jumpsuit's a way to good strategy. I'm being completely silent because I don't remember the jumpsuit. Oh my God. What?

Sparkly jumpsuit? I know. I think I must have been looking at my phone or something. Yeah, yeah. For a split second. It was, honestly, it was a split second. Like she walked away and you could tell it was a jumpsuit. Yeah.

I think I missed. Yeah. And Pete was like, good power suit. That was it. Quick second. I missed it, which I'm going to have to go back and watch it. Because now I need to see the suit. It was like, it was full, like, bedazzled black jumpsuit.

It was awesome. Um, Victoria P was the next. We talked about it before. She said that her niece always tells her to happy dance the scaries away. They did a weird dance. Victoria P was like doing so well and they did that weird dance. And I was like, oh, God, that was kind of awkward. Made me very uncomfortable.

She redeemed herself throughout the night, though. Oh, for sure. That was the only time. But immediately when I saw that, I gave it a big no. Yeah. Like, great girl, bad limo entrance. Bad limo entrance. Yeah, and it happens.

Yep, it does. You get nervous. Next is McKenna. She's a fashion blogger from Canada. I think McKenna is the youngest girl on this season. She's 22. And she like just objectified the shit out of Pete. Like she was just like, oh, let me look at you from all angles.

She like did a circle around him. She was eyeing him up and down. Just that. And that was it. That was kind of it. Just like, let me look at you. When there's so many entrances, what else are you supposed to do? Yeah.

What can you do when you get up there? Yeah. Yeah, I feel like I've thought about it in the past. Like if I was during the Bachelor at season, if I was on the show, what would I do for a limo hundreds? I have no idea. I don't know what it would be, but I don't know if I would, I wouldn't do anything. Like, I don't think I would do, all these girls are doing pilot puns and airplane puns. I think I'd steer away from that.

No, because the way you're going to stand out is by not doing that, I think. Yeah. Because everyone plunge together when they're doing the same, too. It might just be like a normal person. I think that might stand out the most on a show. Hey, how are you? Hey, what's up? Nice to meet you.

Really looking forward to seeing you inside. Yeah, and then that's it. Yeah, you know, I sometimes feel like I would be so nervous that I would be the girl that would be like bullied by producers to do something stupid. You know, like, there's always like the girl, like, it was not that girl's idea to bring a cow. Like nobody, like she was like, you know what, I'm going to bring a cow. Like somebody was like, we need some weird. We need some girls doing some weird shit and they found a cow. Or you get stuffed in a piece of luggage.

Right. Like there's, like there's not her choice. Yeah, like there's some. She was not like, I'm going to get in a luggage. It's like I'm dressed up. The best I can look, what am I going to do now? And they're like, you're going to get in that piece of luggage over there. Like there's some weird choices.

Like we've heard in the past of girls that were made to like dress up who didn't want to dress up. But they were told that they should dress up. And then, you know, they go home the first night. It's just what happens. Okay. After McKenna was Marissa, we talked about it before, they Pinky promised each other to remain true to themselves. Stay honest with each other and always dance like no one's watching. that was another very awkward dance moment.

I don't know why this keeps happening. Wasn't a fan of the Pinky Promise right away. I don't know. I didn't like this one. Don't force me into a Pinky Promise. Right. Don't make me do that. Yeah.

I don't know Pinky Promise than anybody I met 10 seconds ago. And we'll get to it, but like the Pinky Promise and then there was like a handshake thing and I'm, spoiler, but Marissa went home. So none of these things worked. That's why you can't force someone into a pinky promise because they could, then they're forced to break it an hour later. Yep. Okay.

We have Kelsey who is, I think she's just a stylist. She's 28. She's from Des Moines. Shout out. Shout out to Iowa. Do you have any Iowa loyalty to her? Like, are you rooting for her? Always.

I'm always rooting for the Iowa people. Yeah. If she goes far, I'm going to be, you know, holding that flag really high. She thinks that Hannah made a big mistake letting Pete go. That's what she said to him. And then she walked inside. And then we had our flight attendant roll call basically. Eunice came out first.

She's a 23-year-old flight attendant. She wore, like, bad, like, Halloween costume wings. Yeah, I tweeted about this. I said if you're going to do it, wear, like, Victoria's Secret wings. Right. Not Walmart. I called them Walmart wings, because they were. They were.

They were, yeah. Maybe that wasn't her idea either. But if they're like, if they're like, hey, we want you to wear these wings, you got to be like, then you. I think that one was definitely her idea. Only because she said, she said, I'm a flight attendant. You're a pilot. I figured I would just wing it.

Like, I feel like when you have a weird, like, rehearsed line, then I think that might just be right. She's like, she's like, that's going to crush. And it wasn't that over the top. Like, the wings, like, weren't that crazy. If they were, they probably brought those wings herself. Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah. Producers were to give her better wings. She could have got better wings. Like the windmill production, like, she can't pack that in her suit. Like, those wings could have been, could have been brought around. Those are folded over, stuffed in. Yep. Okay. Then we had two more flight attendants come through. Unis thought she was special. She was not. Jade and Megan both flight attendants.

And then there was Madison, who we said had, you know, she's from the basketball player from Auburn. She came in in like a giant paper airplane. She said, I successfully landed my plane. So hopefully all I have to do is land your heart. I mean, fine. Sure. A good cheesy line.

It works. It plays. I successfully landed my plane. So hopefully all I have to do is land your heart. Yeah. I don't know if it makes sense. Yeah. But it sounds good.

Right. Yeah. Right. Okay. Tammy was next. House Flipper. She's 24. We saw her.

She had a video package as well. She had a metal detector. This was where things started to get like more punny and more like horny. She had a metal detector. She was like, I'm going to need to do a private screening inside. She said something about a large package at the mansion. Yeah. Boy, boy.

Mystery book package. It really did start to escalate. It really. It escalated fast. Yeah. Sheehan. I don't know how to say her name. We're going to have to make...

Sheehan. Sheehan. She's she and, okay. She's from Vegas. She is an administrative assistant. She gave him a barf bag. She's saying, you know, I think she said, like, you're going to have a lot of nauseating conversations.

Here's a barf bag. I'm going to go back on something I said earlier when I said to avoid the airplane stuff. The barf bag one I liked. That one felt clever to me. Like, you're going to be talking to a lot of people. You're going to have a lot of awkward conversations. It's going to be nauseating.

Here's a barf bag. Ria's looking like she didn't like it. Am I? See, I can never tell on my face. I never really realize that I'm making a face. No, I just, I don't like that you're bringing up barf when I first meet you. I first of all, I hate that word. No, my least favorite words.

Barf and fart. I hate, I hate those words. You can even, you barely said it. Because I'd like pain. Barf and fart. I hate those words. I really do. It's like, I don't know why.

It's just, ugh. Barf is a bad one because it gives the thing that you're talking about, feeling like a temperature. That and it also is, what's the word for words that sound like what they are, you know? You know what I'm talking about? Like barf like sounds like barf. Yeah, barf sounds gross. Yeah, yeah, that's a good point, too.

You know? Okay. So Courtney, Courtney was next. I hate the word fart. I hate it. Good thing there's no fart jokes. Thanks. Oh, my God. Thank God.

Oh man, wouldn't that be funny if there was just like one moment where they caught like a bad accidental fart on camera and they used it? And then there was just like, endless fart jokes. I can't even say it. But yeah. Yeah, that would be so funny. That might be like, I feel like that's like borderline illegal. How is that never happened?

Like that's asking. Like, even with the guys. Like, even on the Bachelorette, like how is that never happened? They definitely do let them out and they're like, oh, yeah. And then they just cut it out. I guess they start putting that in. Or maybe don't because I would not like that. Let me tell you something.

You get 30 guys in one room. There's a lot of farts. That's what I'm saying. Just a ton. And people can make fun of fart jokes, but far jokes still play. Thinking about all the men in the office farting all the time. I didn't need that. Okay.

Anyway, moving on, Courtney was next. She's a cosmetologist from Florida. She rides in on like a little kid toy plane. What sucked for her was I think like Pete thought it was going to be something really cool and then it wasn't. Like they had the people with the orange things, like, you know, where they direct. The airport. And the headphones.

And he was like, oh, my God. Some girls tag bringing in a plane right now because it would be so sick. And it wasn't. It wasn't. Okay. Okay, Pete. Somebody's flying in on a plane right now. Yeah.

Somebody sent me a video of, you know, the movie Saw. Yes. When the little guy wheels in on the bike. Somebody was like that looks like a scene out of saw. Yeah. So it was kind of a letdown when he thought it was going to be a plane. I think he was a little disappointed. Okay, then next was Kiaro, who popped out of the suitcase.

She's a nanny, 23 years old from Georgia. I don't know how the hell she fit into that suitcase. It did not look that big. And then I was looking like maybe there was something underneath that she could fit in, but I think, I think you, if you really tried, you can fit into a suitcase. Same with me. Like, I think if we really tried. No, if we just actually got in it. You know what I mean?

We always think, oh, we can't get in there. How long was she in that thing, though? They had to wheel it out. You'd hope just like the end of the driveway. Yeah. Did these, they couldn't zip it all the way closed. I hope. I couldn't fit into a suitcase, but I think, well.

Could have been like, well, you know. No, no. Absolutely not. If we're talking carry-on size, it's not happening. But yeah. Fuck no. But then when the, when Kiara got out, it wasn't that, I mean, she wasn't like a super small person.

She's just like a normal size person. Yeah, yeah. She was normal. I think you guys are underestimating the size of luggage. Yeah. Chris Harrison came in and was like, that's some David Copperfield shit. I love a bleep from Chris Harrison. I need one curse word from Chris Harrison an episode.

Just one bleep. Like, wow, that's some crazy shit. Like, I just wanted to say that once a week. I need to hear Chris Harrison unfiltered without the bleeping. Yeah. I feel like Chris Harrison could have, um, some kind of like Bob Sacket vibes to him.

You know, like he's like this wholesome David Copperfield. Yeah. I love it. We should cut her in half later. We should. Oh, I don't remember that. Oh, yeah.

He was like, we should cut her in half later. And Petra so was like, yeah, we should. Just agree. So weird. I would do the same thing. I'd agree with everything Chris Harrison said. Yep. Yeah.

Yeah. Right now? Right. Like he's like, yeah. Let's just do it. But like kind of where Chris Harrison, like he's on TV and you can't curse that much. He kind of has this. I just want everybody to find love and be happy.

and whatever. And, like, maybe backstage, he's just booze in and cursing. I met Chris Harris one time. He didn't meet me, but I met him. I met him at a golf tournament. And Dave Portnoy, our boss, who had done a pizza review with him, introduced us at Pebble Beach. It was like a media day proam. And I shook his hand and I tried to make eye contact with him and he was already talking

to somebody else. It wasn't a rude thing, but he was just like very popular. People were like, oh, my God, that's Chris Harrison. And, you know, I met him, but he didn't meet me. He doesn't know what he did. did or who he ignored. No, he didn't ignore me. He like, he was nice enough to come up to me and shake my hand, but he's just like such a people person that he was already, you know, going about his business, which is, I, I, what I got to the experience is it was completely positive. People

probably freak the fuck out over Chris Harrison. He's a legend. Yeah, yeah. It is very true. And for so long, too. Yeah. Forever. Decades. Like, different generations are now being like, Chris Harrison is the greatest person to ever live. Yes, that's what I say. Yeah. Okay. Okay, we, so, okay, here we go. Let's keep going. Lexi, marketing coordinator from New York. She's 26. She got to come in on like a super cool old, like red sports cars.

She said, I like to go fast. I heard you do too. Now, see, like this is where I'm like, who gets to decide who gets to do the cool shit? Right. Because riding in like an old, sick red sports car, you look like a fucking badass. Like, how do you get to be that girl? I think it's random.

I think they show up and they just, they don't, they just assign it to random. people. Yeah, they're like, we're going to get the coolest sports car to Lexi. But it fit Lexi's attitude, I think. Like, Dave tweeted Lexi is a problem. And I, it just was spot on. Like her red hair, the red, maybe that's why they did it actually, the red hair, the red corvette.

They might, like, get a feel for the people, the contestants, what they get there, and then they start assigning things like that. Yeah. It was way cooler. And all the girls were like, what? She's in a car, an old car. It was pretty cool. Okay.

Deandra was next. She is a home care coordinator from Texas 23. She wore the full windmill costume. It was like windmill wings per se if you want to call them that. Hated it. Yeah. She said, are you ready for round five? Those looked like, those look like weird knockoff Victoria's Secret wings. Like you know how sometimes in the Victoria's Secret Fashion Zone they would have like such weird things on their back. Like they weren't wings. They'd be like weird props. for like whatever the theme is. That that's exactly what that looked like.

Are you ready for round five is a strange way to approach it in my opinion? It is. Like you're talking about a fifth round of sex with someone who had sex four times. The first four were with someone else. Yep. I would be like, are you ready for your windmill experience with me? I wouldn't be like number five. Yeah.

Just bang them out. One, two, three, four, five. Yeah. It was strange. That's your, you're very right. Okay. Peyton came next. She's a 23-year-old business development rep for Massachusetts.

She just came out of the limo screaming. Like she was just going, four times, four times. It was a little creepy. Like I would have been like, whoa, lady, calm now. Yes, I did four times. Stop yelling at me. It's like, yeah, I'm the fucking best, but like you don't have to scream it from the rooftops. Yeah, I'm a goddamn sex machine.

Yeah, I'm a sex god. After you keep saying it so many times, like what is Pete supposed to say? Like, okay, yeah, I get it. I was there. Like, yeah, no, four times. I fucked. Yeah. Okay.

Jasmine, a client relations manager from Texas, 25. She spoke Vietnamese and said, I heard you did it four times in a windmill. Kylie came after that. Entertainment Sales Associate from Santa Monica. She brought a whole roll condoms, whole thing. This was when they really started just flying through it. Oh, this is when we started to get. Everyone got real horny.

Katrina came in next, a 28-year-old pro sports dancer from Chicago. she said you're going to fall in love with my hairless pussy cat and paused and then whipped out a picture of her cat her hairless pussy cat i couldn't tell if i hated this or respected it oh i just i can't tell because i would never i don't think i would ever go up there and be like and say that but this girl did so you almost have to be like i also just hate pussy cat like i hate the like i hate pussycat like i hate the word pussy. I'm not a big fan. Wow, Fran, is against the Pussies. I don't hate it, but

No, it is, it's like, it's Pussy power, Fran. It's pretty strong though. Like, pussy. Yeah, right. Yeah, that's just like, you scared yourself. Like when I was, I was tweeting about it last night, and I was putting pussy in the tweets, and it was just like, this is weird. This is weird. I've said, it's like the fourth time that I've tweeted out the word pussy to people. It could be worse, though.

They could be calling it the C-Wher. Wow. I thought you were going to go the V word because that one's more like clinical and it's not as like it's like somebody like a guy calling his dick his penis. Yeah. My pee. Ugh. Weird. Somehow we always get like somehow the three of us always get to this.

Well, they got to it. I know, I know. That's the reason. They laid it up for us. They really did. They really did. Okay. Victoria F.

25 year old medical sales rep from Virginia. a beach. She said, I have a very dry sense of humor. But that's the only thing that's dry about me. She didn't deliver it that way, though. She had like a very difficult. The way you delivered it was A plus, hers was a G minus. She absolutely bushered the delivery.

She started laughing. Yeah. You cannot laugh halfway through that delivery. I had no idea what you were saying. If you're going to make an edgy joke about your wet vagina. Yep. Okay. Pussy.

Yep. Then you got to be able to deliver. You got to see it through. Right. She's also very upset. She's not the only Victoria. Like, that really rattled her. I really enjoyed that.

She really does not want to be Victoria F. Also, some T about Victoria F, if you guys are not caught up, there's some rumblings about her not being the greatest person outside of the show. We don't have to go into detail. We don't have to go into it. But a show will come out. A man who goes by the name Reality, Steve, did say that he has never gotten more tips on a person than he has Victoria F.

Interesting. I got a tip on V. Victoria up last night. Did you? Yeah, apparently in New Year's Eve, she got so drunk in Virginia Beach that she had to be escorted out of a bar and apparently her butt was hanging out. It was a whole big thing. Who knows if that was true.

Allegedly. All legend. This is all alleged. All legend. Somebody tweeted this or damned it to me. I don't remember. All alleged. Okay.

Jenna was next. A 22-year-old nursing student. Oh, I guess she was also the youngest. She brought a cow, an emotional support cow. That was supposed to be the joke. It was not funny. The girls thought it was a push. pony. They were like, somebody brought a pony and she was already inside and she was like,

it's actually a cow. And it was very weird. Everything about it was weird, not funny, weird. Okay. Then we had Savannah who blindfolded him, put his hands on her hips and just laid one on him. Just kissed him. Blindfold, kiss, the whole thing. I hated, I hated this. Assault. Assault. Pete liked it though. He went on a show and he said, I love a bold woman. Yeah, he said he liked it.

And he said, so that's the thing. The girls, and although I thought the girls were going to hate it more, they didn't seem to even notice that that happened because I guess maybe they didn't even know. They didn't know that happened. And I don't know. I guess I would hate it if I was there. Yeah. But watching the show, I'm like, oh, wow, I respect how bold she is.

But I would hate that if I was on the show. When I was another girl, I would say, fuck that girl. I hate that. I would also hate that if I was The Bachelor. Like, you finally get, like, in the driver's seat and you're like, this is, I get to make all my own decisions and, like, do what I want to do. And then, like, bam, some chick just kisses you. But also, Pete loved it. Yeah, yeah.

It's kind of hard to be like, I would hate this when he straight up like, I love that. Well, I would hate it. And I also think, like, if this was the Bachelorette, would not have gone over as well. There would be some thing pieces. It would not have gone over as well. Okay. Kelly came out next. We already talked about her.

Pete immediately recognized her. It seemed very excited to see her. He kept saying, like, I was hoping she would stop by. What does that mean? What does that mean, Pete? You were hoping she would just stop in for a chat? Like, I was hoping she was just stopped by. That feels like nervous energy to me.

Yeah, yeah. Like, he was kind of excited to see her and he was like, oh, I was wondering when you were going to stop by. We're going to get into it later on, but the thing between them is, is an Interesting. And then we had Alexa, Avonlea, and Natasha. They came out to close. Nothing really special happened for them.

Like, the girls were all complaining about how there were so many women. So they, you know, hit us real fast at the last three. And then that's when Hannah came out. And McKenna absolutely shrieked bloody murder. Like, it was like an unbelievable scream. Like, Dave also tweeted, like, the girl that just screamed, get her out of there. That was a ridiculous scream. The girls were all freaking out.

It turned out she was just there to return the wings that he had given her on her season. She looked beautiful. She showed up. She left. Pete looked shocked. And we thought that that was the end of Hannah. My reaction to seeing Hannah is I was excited to see her because on a night like this, I feel overwhelmed when I see all these girls that I don't know.

It's just like they're coming out of the limo. They're coming out of a rapid rate. I don't know who they are. I don't know what their deal is. Then you see Hannah come out. And I like Hannah a lot. I thought her season of The Bachelorette was fantastic. It's just good to see a familiar face.

You're right. You're right. Makes you feel at home. It does. I was like, all right, Pete knows her, so he's going to feel a little more comfortable. Obviously, they've been through some things together. This is nice. So Hannah comes back.

Yeah. First return. First return of Hannah. Like you said, she comes back. She's apparently giving Pete her wings, his wings that he gave her. But I had a feeling this wouldn't be the, last we saw of Hannah because of the trailer because of the trailer first of all because she was wearing a different dress she was wearing two different dresses and they did hype up a lot and we

saw the conversations that were happening between Pete and her and although I thought it was just going to be a scam I was so wrong I have to put my hand up and say I was so wrong but we'll get to that yeah well at this point in time I will say that I I bought into all the hype and at this point in the night, I thought that I was super wrong. I thought the second dress that they showed in the trailer was a smokescreen of her sticking around. So I was like, boy, did I just fall for another Bachelor teaser? Turns out that that's not the case.

But like you said, we can talk about that when we get there. Exactly. Because, you know, sometimes you don't want to fall into it and you do. Sometimes they want you to follow into it because it actually does happen. It's all very confusing. After the limo entrances, night one, Pete sits down with the first girl. It's Alea. they read the note from grandma and grandma rose she you know just wants her her girl to find love

I thought it was hilarious how it said dear bachelor yeah because they didn't know who was gonna be yet dear man who my my granddaughter loves so much and she just met you five minutes ago yep yep exactly it is a good boy though like you said before like it's a he got his or she got her time with him because they needed to read the note it doesn't matter what grandma wrote and she wrote it was nice It was very sweet, but then she just gets to spend time with them. Exactly, exactly. We definitely, we all agreed that there's no way these girls had a two-drink limit for this night. A lot of the girls seemed like they were a little tipsy.

When they were two of them were yelling about buttery flaky biscuits. Yes, Katrina. Katrina, yes. That's when it's, yeah, there was no drink limit whatsoever. No, no, she said, you need to risk. There was like kind of, and it was a little slow. She's like, you need to risk it to get to get the biscuit. And he looks like a really fucking hot biscuit.

Like they were just talking about how hot he is. McKenna was like chugging glasses of wine. It looked like. McKenna being the youngest one on the show and of course getting absolutely shit face. It seemed like there was some, some drunk, definitely some drunk moments. He made, he makes a goddamn handshake with Marissa, which seems super cute. But then he sent her home. That's too friendly for me.

Yeah. If we're making handshakes, we're friends. And Marissa's the pinky promise girl, right? Yeah. Too far. Too much. Too much. You're taking it too far too fast.

I know it's The Bachelor and you got to get your time in and make your connections, but I can't be pinky promising to make it handshakes with somebody I just met. It was like seventh grade flirting. Like he introduced the handshake. It's just, it does feel like the beginning stages of flirting with somebody like, ooh, let's make a handshake. But the beginning of stages of flirting. with somebody when I'm in high school or

when I'm in middle school. Fair. Very fair. Or like a friend zone. Like let's make up a handshake. Yeah. It's like, ugh. He is in like giant paper airplanes with Madison. They have a nice conversation. You can tell they're handing it off. Chris Harrison brings in the first impression

rows on like this gold wood slab. And all the girls were like, like, it's here. It's here. One girl screamed, it's here, ladies. Well, it's important. I don't know the numbers on it. I would have to go back through and with a calculator and crunch the numbers. But the people who get the first impression rose, whether it be bachelor or bachelorette,

they have a pretty good history in terms of going far and even winning the thing. I mean, but it was just so funny. Like they all lost their shit, which also made me think they were all kind of drunk. Because like the second the rose came in the room, they were like their eyes were bugging out of their heads. And it's just the funniest thing because it's like, it's just a rose. But it's like has superpowers. But there's so much, it is just a rose, but there's so much meaning attached to it. Superpowers.

Okay. And then, you know, there's more windmill jokes. Sydney brings them out to like a little mini golf set up with the windmill. He drives in the red sports car with Lexi. And then there was a lot, this was the beginning of it. There was multiple women who have, you know, you have to mention in their conversation. Like, if you're, if you want to get married and like have a long lasting relationship, you have, to throw you have to mention that you know somebody that was married for like a really long time like a

family member like whatever like well my parents were married for 26 years and then the other person has to be like oh my god like congratulations that's so great for your family like he and hannah ann immediately like connected on that and like they they talked about for a while um she and her dad painted the smoky mountains for him why do i believe that it was just her dad i don't know why she says remember when we went through their bios she loves to paint she loves to Maybe she's a painter. Yeah. I give that.

Wait, she painted it or her dad painted it? They said they painted it together. I gave that whole thing a big thumbs down. I don't know. I just saw it was like. Yeah. Well, it worked because they immediately made out. Yeah.

That was their first round to make it out. That was like besides the Savannah limo kiss, first make out Hannah Ann. How does Pete decide which kiss her is the best? She's making out with all of that. He has to kiss him all. He has to kiss him multiple times each. all of them to figure it out. Yep.

Yep. I think you know, right? I think you know right away. I mean, it seems like he's on his way to doing that. So he made out 12 girls in the first night. He's kissing a lot of people. Okay. And then...

12 girls in my first night. Have you ever seen that? I'm like, I'm concerned about Savannah. I just can't get a read on her after the limo kiss. And then like, she also might have been wasted. I don't know. She was like, after the Hannah Ann kissed, she was like, I'm going next, bitches. Ha ha.

Just kidding. Just kidding. I'm not. I'm not joking at all. I was like, oh my God. You've got dual personalities. That's going to be a problem for everyone in the house. Holy shit.

Are you okay? I'm kind of in on the roller coaster that is Savannah. Of course. This is the thing. You get caught in both areas where you were watching that. Like if I wasn't a person in that house with them with a person like that, I'd be like, boy, are we in trouble. But luckily, I'm sitting in my apartment. This is already been filmed.

And I just get to watch the chaos. We're all safe. Right. She also very seriously said like jelly. Like when she was. jealous of Hannah-Anne and she was like, oh, guys, I'm just like really jelly. I was like, oh, no, you can't use that word seriously. And then, like we said, things got kinky. Tammy put Pete in handcuffs.

Like, she was, like, rubbing him up and down. She planted a condom in his pocket that she pulled out and was like, ooh, Pete. Tammy seems like the exact kind of girl that's just going to handcuff you right away. Like I said in her package, I was like, Tammy will beat the shit out of you. Yeah. And also, also, also tie you up, put handcuffs on you and fuck you. My bad. I didn't mean to go that far.

No, go. You got to take it all the way. Well, I look, guys, once again, it worked because, you know, they made out immediately after that. Pete said, I didn't expect to be kissing so many girls tonight, but it just kind of happened. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, when you have a billion girls who, like, want nothing but your attention, like, they're all

trying to kiss them. How many girls did Colton kiss on the first night? I do not recall. I bet it's lower. than 12. Yeah. Way lower than 12. Well, he didn't kiss 12.

I don't think he kissed 12 girls, but there was definitely like 12 makeout scenes. 12 girls seems like a lot. One second. I want, I'm going to go back to the source. What I'm trying to say is I want, I'm excited for like a bachelor who's like going after it. Right. I wrote down every time he kissed somebody. And I feel like there was multiple kisses, but I don't know if there was that many, that many girls.

yet. Okay. Natasha and McKenna made out with 12 girls on the first night. I don't, that, I don't think that's right.

Where's that information coming from? The Bachelor Reddit. I think they're wrong. 12 seems about right now. Oh, Marissa just said on, I'm reading the Bachelor Reddit right now. Marissa just said on SSK,

I don't know what that is, that they didn't show how much he made out. According to her, it was 10 to 13 girls the first night. Okay. Oh, okay. So unseen. Kisses.

Yeah, they were on scene kisses. Damn. Okay, okay. And he apparently said 12. So, wow. If he's saying 12 and she's saying 10 to 13. Holy shit. He kissed 12 girls on the first night?

Yeah, I guess that's... This is going to be a fun season. My goodness gracious. Okay. Natasha and McKenna kind of get into it because they're talking... Natasha was talking to Pete. McKenna comes up. She's throwing paper airplanes at them.

Which is kind of like super rude. Like, they're like... Very rude. Like, already going. up and interrupting somebody and being like, can I steal you? It was already kind of rude. She didn't say anything. She just threw paper airplanes at them.

They can poke your eyes out if it gets on the rest of the trajectory. Yeah, I thought that was pretty rude. That was also drunk behavior. Oh. And she was like, girl, can I steal him? And Natasha goes, if you're asking me, the answer is no. I love how petty Natasha got. Yeah.

Natasha, I was running. She wouldn't have the big plane. Just put it on and goes, get on and fly herself away. Natasha, like also kind of a person. permanently has a bedroom eyes. Like she's just always looking at Pete, like batting her eyelashes and like looking at him. And then we hear this cats and rats line, which apparently we will be hearing a lot this season. So said Chris Harrison in there like when he goes through the contestants on Facebook.

She's a cat. Natasha's a cat, but there's a lot of rats. She's a cat. She's a cat. Cat is good, rat, bad. I'm going to need a full breakdown on who are the cats and who are the rats. So I'm sure we're going to get it. Then McKenna does get her time where she, very important,

mentions that her grandparents were married for 61 years. I don't know how they would have had to talk. I don't know how they would have established that they could have a love story if she didn't tell him that. Always a strange brag. McKenna had nothing to do with that. No. Just, you know.

Nothing. Right. My grandparents were married for 61 years. It's like, well, great. Congratulations. Natasha, that's when she comes back to the giant airplane. then he makes out with McKenna with Natasha standing there

they're going back and forth Hannah Ann comes back in takes Peter away from Deandra and then goes away but then interrupts them again for a third time when she's talking to Sheehan and she's talking about herself of the third person. Didn't like that

they're making out again she's just kissing Pete as much as she can Hannah Ann was really trying to get as much kiss time as possible as much of that saliva as she could Yeah. And then we had maybe one of like the best girl night one conversations of Sheehan trying to talk to Hannah Ann and being like, I just really think that every girl should have time with him. Like we all want to have time.

Like you should respect the other girls. And she was just like, yeah, I really want that for you too. Why don't you just go out there and go get it? And she had this like fake smile. And she was just looking. She's like, yeah, you should just go out there and do that. Clost to the girl. I really thought a brawl was going to happen between the two.

And when Hannah Ann looked at her and she's sort of like, yeah, she gave that smile. It's like, well, that's a fight time. Now it's just time to start throwing knuckles because that was. And it's a classic case of wanting to have time at the Bachelor, but wasting time being like stop stealing time from the Bachelor. And it's just, it's a classic conversation. But I thought Hannah Ann handled it like she's like, I'm the alpha in the house. Yeah, I, the thing is Hannah Ann, she seems crazy to me. And I think her pulling him three times was crazy.

but I also really once again respect this move. She has now put it in her mind that she is better than everybody in this house. And whether you like that or not, it's the way to get to the end. Well, like she said, she's not here to sit on the couch and drink wine. She is here for Peter. It's also a rush. Like, anytime you take a risk and you don't know what's going to happen and you get the outcome that you want, like, you're chasing that again.

Like, she's like, wow, I put myself out there and it totally worked. He made out with me. to go do it again. Like it's going to keep working. So, you know, she's still kissing him. Courtney also had to tell Pete that her parents were married for 30 years, guys. Wow. So Courtney, she's a big part of that.

Yeah, she's ready for love because, you know, her parents were married for 30 years. We'll close with a quick Victoria F commentary because she has to, she has to completely repeat the dry humor joke to Pete because he forgot. it. So that was super uncomfortable because, you know, another girl, Victoria P comes and steals him away

and she starts crying and it's the other Victoria. I also love this was like such a subtle dig while Victoria F was crying. She was like, what's her face came in and stole him? Like you absolutely know

the other Victoria's name because you're so pissed there's another Victoria. Like she could forget every other girl's name. She knows that girl's name is Victoria 100. 100%. She's like, what's her name came in and stole him?

The retelling of the dry joke is something I won't get out of my mind anytime soon. It was just such a disaster because Pete was like... I would cry about that too. Like, if that was the only time you got and you just had... The only time you got was telling the same bad joke twice. Because Pete didn't remember you the first time. Yeah. It's like, that's about as bad as it gets.

Yep. Yep. And then, you know, she's just really upset that there are so many pretty girls. Once again, did you think they were. going to be ugly, Victoria. Yeah. Yeah. Let's think about this.

My sister tweeted that Victoria F kind of looks like bad baby and I kind of see it. A little bit. I kind of see it. I kind of see it. I'd have to go back and look. She has ginormous eyes. Huge. Like, it's the only thing I can think of when she's talking.

Really? Yeah, like big doe eyes. Like they're beautiful. But it's like mesmerizing almost. I'd have to go back and look. Everything happens so fast. It does happen really fast. Okay.

I think that was kind of a. about it. I'll say quickly like Kelly and she, Kelly got to talk to Pete for a little bit and Pete did say she that he didn't stop thinking about her after they met. They had like a super normal person conversation obviously because they've already met in real life. So it seems like Kelly definitely has a one up. Hannah Ann got the first impression rose where they made out again for like the billion time already. People were pissed. But you know, like we said, she risked it. She got the reward that she wanted. The most hated person in the room usually gets the first impression rose. Yeah. Because they've

been the most aggressive when everybody else is like, I don't think I'm going to get time and they don't create the time for themselves. The people who do get the rows and are disliked. All right. I think we should take a quick break right now. And I have to ask you guys, have you ever heard of Mercari? It is the definition of the selling app. They make it super easy for real people to sell and ship their unused things. We all have things that we don't use that we've bought before. We think we're going to use it, clothes that we bought that we think we really like. We end up not wearing them, but we're too lazy to return them. Been there, done that, never used it. You simply outgrew it, whatever it is. But that stuff still has a value. We shouldn't just be

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But the solution is Mercari. Like I said, it's an app you can use to sell this stuff. It makes it fast and easy for anyone to sell and earn some extra cash. You take a few pictures, add a description, set a price. Boom, your item is listed. So if you have things that you don't use, sell them, ship them, and get paid. Check out McCari on the app store or on Macari.com. The app has over 500,000 reviews on the app store with an average.

4.8 star rating. So why not give it a try? What are you waiting for? I know you have stuff that you don't use because we all do. Just sell it, ship it, and get paid with Mercari. You can find Macari on the app stores or once again on Macari.com. That's M-E-R-C-A-R-I-M-C-A-R-I-M-C-R-E-Selling app. Okay, so we left off Hannah-N-N-N-G got the first impression rose.

All these girls are... All these girls are going to hate Hannah-Anne. And the more I think about it, casting just did, like, such a good job. Like, they found a girl who kind of already had an Instagram following, who, like, knew people who was already on the show. And they put her in this situation, and everyone's just going to hate her. I can't decide whether or not I like her or a hater or how I feel about her altogether. because she was definitely approached to be on the show.

We can agree there's no way like she, like, they definitely picked her. I think that Hannah G, like, tip them off to her. I could see that. But I can't say I hate her yet, but I definitely see the crazy. I mean, the crazy is definitely there. It's going to come out. Chris Harrison said she's in all the drama this season. But just by first glance, I would have said she was winning the season.

Like, if she was just slightly normal. Yeah. And just a nice girl who's really sweet and fun. funny. Yeah. Winner. Shit's going to go down. Yeah, I like her.

And I think I like her for that reason. I'm always very interested. It's going to make the show more interesting. You look like the girls who bring the drama. I do because it just makes the show way more interesting. If you can just view it through, you can view it through a couple lenses. One is like, I want the, you know, I want Pete to find love and that. But also I'm a fan of the show and I just want there to be interesting storylines.

And Hannah Ann very clearly is going to be very interesting. I think there's also an element to it now are these girls. have some kind of idea like how they're going to be portrayed kind of you know where like I felt like with Demi once the show aired she just kind of owned that she had like that attitude that that was like her kind of persona on the show

so I'm interested to see like how how you know like Hannah Ann emerges as like a person after this like to see if it's kind of like that thing where everybody kind of like, if people actually love to hate her or they actually hate her or like they see that it's all fun. It has to be in the back of their minds,

of all their minds, how they're going to be portrayed in the show. Because we're now dealing with a generation of people who go on the show watch the show. You can tell by the reaction of Hannah B. People are like, oh, that's Hannah B from The Bachelorette. I know who that is because I watch the show.

So it has to be in the back of their mind. How am I going to, what kind of cut am I going to get? And Hannah Ann, Like you said, they probably brought her in. They approached her and were like, you're going to probably end up being the villain. Yeah. It's very possible. Yeah.

Okay. So we go into the rose ceremony. These poor girls were up all goddamn night. Like, it was so bright outside when they came back into the room to do the rose ceremony. And I know, like, it typically normally is morning when they do this. But it seemed like blatantly morning. Like, way more obvious than normal. It might have been lunchtime when they got out of that mansion.

Because it was normally... The rose ceremony is usually in the morning. Yes, they stay up all night long. And then they do the rose ceremony at the crack ass a dawn. Yeah, if you go back and watch all the first nights, you'll see that when the girls are leaving, the ones who get eliminated, it's usually... It's right outside. Yeah, the sun's just coming up, but you're right, Fran. This year...

It was broad daylight. It was, yeah. They could have just gone and got lunch right away. How tired are they? Oh, but I mean, hey, that's a strategy. Fucking wipe these girls out. That's when they start saying weird shit night one. because they're filming it for a.

They're asleep deprived. They're a little drunk. Maybe they're getting to the point where they're starting their hangover and it's just weird stuff starts to happen. Yep. Oh, man. This is something I did not know. They know what they're doing.

Yep. They really do. Okay, so tons are, we started with 30 girls. Six were sent home. The drama of the Rose ceremony was if Victoria F was going to get a rose or not. They kind of hyped that up. She got the last rose, which meant that Marissa, Jade, Eunice, Megan, Kylie, and Katrina all went home night one.

So that's Marissa, who had an opening package. She was the one with the Pinky Promise and the handshake. See ya. Jade, Eunice, and Megan, all flight attendants. See ya. See you. You were going to be the opening joke where it's going to be like, oh, there's only one flight attendant. No, LOL, there's three.

But then after that, we're kind of, we're good with that joke. And also, like, Rie and I, we both thought that maybe he would like the flight attendants. Like, that would be a common interest. But we also said no. We also said maybe he won't like it. Yeah, we did. But I remember thinking, like, because his parents had met on a, whatever. We were like, oh, history repeating itself.

Who knows? He got rid of all of them. No more flight attendants. He was like, fuck this. I've slept with enough flight attendant. I don't give it anymore. Maybe, like, I don't want to take my work home with me. I don't want to get home.

We're watching TV. And then it's like, oh, remember when we were delayed in Atlanta? And it's like, I don't want to talk about that. I don't want to talk about other things that don't have to do with planes and airports. I have a question going back to the row ceremony being at night. Yes. What happens if they get so tired, they just fall asleep? Great TV.

That's okay, right? It could happen. I think anything goes. I think they would almost like you were going to say. Yeah, they would film it. There's somebody sleeping, like she must not care. And then they turn that into its own story. turn out like she could be really tired but instead they would spin it that she like got wasted and

doesn't care yeah because i'm thinking just how about how sleepy i would be and i would be like oh i just want to take quick nap you know while we're waiting well think about it also like you see these poor girls are like either some get so emotional or they're crying makes a lot more sense because they didn't get any time night one and then they're forced to like redo their makeup and get ready for the rose ceremony it's all one night and then after they redo all their makeup and get back out there they get sent home and yeah then you start bawling your eyes out it's emotionally draining i would have to imagine being put through that for a whole day exactly um Kylie Kylie Kylie was sent home she was beautiful girl from L.A kind of seemed like influencer type uh did not make the cut and Katrina

her hair her and her hairless pussycat are headed home she you know she shines so bright that it's like a one of the like a comet you shine bright but you you burn out early yep she you know she provides some entertainment this this rose ceremony money overall, we're still learning the names of the girls. So it all just kind of happens fast. Exactly. And I, you know, you know who Madison is, you know who Hannah Ann is. You know the people who had notable interactions with Pete throughout the night.

But other than that, it just kind of goes. And it's not that eventful. No, no. And they also don't even show all the girls who are sent home. Right. Like, you don't even see. Like, I had to watch. I had to watch it back again and write down all the girls who got picked and then

process of elimination see the girls who were eliminated. Right. I can't make no more she's the man jokes for Eunice already gone which made me kind of sad. I don't know what that is. She's the man. Amanda Binds? Best movies. Channing Tatum?

I don't know. Oh, Trent. Trent. People are going to freak out about this. Trent. I didn't see it either. What? That's my guy.

Noah. Oh my God. You're fired. I've seen that movie way too many times. She's the man. She's the man is. It's a classic. Fantastic.

Noah really came in my rescue there. Now we're going to share the brunt of the... I'm actually not shocked that you guys haven't seen it though, because I bet if I asked Hank or like my brother, if they've seen she's the man, they would say no. No, but your brother's ever watched it? Like when you've had it on? Like, my brother's definitely watched it because I've watched it so many times. I'm looking at it now. I know

of it. Like, I've seen her in a suit. Unbelievable. I know you said that earlier in the podcast and I was like, I'm just going to act. I think I'm just going to act like, yeah, that's unfortunate you can't make those jokes anymore. This is one of Amanda Bindens is greatest work. I'm sorry.

Oh, man. phenomenal performance. It has such a great soundtrack also. It's a movie? Yes. Okay. God damn it. We got to keep going or I'm going to get mad.

I'll watch it and then future recaps. I'll start throwing in. Thank you. She's the Man Jokes. Okay, thanks. First group date has to honestly go down as maybe one of my favorite group dates of all time. It was Hannah Ann, Kelly, Deandra, Tammy, Courtney.

Cheyenne. Do we agree that it was Cheyenne or Cheyenne? Cheyenne. You've been saying Cheyenne, she and the whole time. It is Sheehan. Yes. I haven't said her name. I'm just let you.

Cheyenne. Yes, sheehan. Although now that you say Cheyenne, that makes a ton of sense. It does, but it makes so much more sense. But I think it's Cheyenne. Fuck. Okay, moving on. Victoria P.

Chess. It would be real sad. Everyone's like, you guys have been saying her name wrong. The day card said, look up. Peter. They all went outside. Pete was flying a plane over the mansion.

Everybody was freaking out. And so they're going, the date is flight school. They got two bad ass women, which was actually pretty cool. Katie Cook is the first female Blue Angels pilot. Super sick.

And Alyssa Johnson, who flies C-130s for the Marines, they put the girls through flight school where they started off with math problems. And we should have some kind of quiz for like every group date. Like I just want to see which one of these.

These girls are real dumb dumb. This reminded me of the trivia challenge in The Challenge, the show. And I love that. It's one of my favorite challenges. They do. I want to see more of this type of stuff. Because you're like, math questions,

trivia. Yeah. It is. I'm really bad at math, so I'm not going to judge them. Yeah. I got the, I got the first question right.

And then I think I sort of tailed off a little bit. But I agree with you guys. I need more trivia and I need more physical challenge like they did later. Remember when they did the Firefighter challenge during Jojo season? Yes. That was sort of like the. the emergence of Wells. He, like, had, he, like, couldn't handle it.

And he's almost passed out. I need more moments like that because that's what it does. It creates these moments that everybody remembers. Right. More physical activities. More trivia and more physical activities. And the show will be even better than it already is. Like, the obstacle course is fantastic.

I don't know how Hannah Ann ended up being paired, like, with Peter while they were answering the questions. I mean, she's going to get him right. Peter knows what they're talking about. The second question was like, It basically was a twisty way of asking how many feet is in a mile. And that just flew right over the girl's heads. Somebody said 30,000.

Yeah, because I think they just, it was how high do you have to be to join the mile high club? That one flew over my head too. No, but they, I mean, they asked it like a trick question, right? Like, you only need to be one mile up to be in the mile high club. I see. So they're thinking like how high are you when you fly. They're thinking like on the announcement like thank you. We've reached our cruising altitude of 30,000 feet.

Like please enjoy this ride. That's what I thought. Yeah. The 30,000 feet. I was like, oh, that's not a bad guess. But turns out it was a trick question. Trick question. Yeah.

5,280 is that was the other answer? I don't think I would have gotten that without no answer. Nobody would get that exact. No. And well, I think. Or some people might. apparently it's pretty common knowledge to know how many feet are in a mile. I don't know that off the top of my head, but I think people do know it.

Those people are showing off and being like, I knew after we all already knew the answer. They told us what the answer was. I would have loved to hop in a time machine and ask those people how many feet are in a mile, because I don't think they all knew. Yeah. And then we had. That's a tough one. I know.

They played a game with dirty sounding words that are aviation terms. And then they did this like fake turbulence machine that they called it an Orbitron. I don't know if that was really what it's called. Tammy called it an Orbitron. There's other names for it that I forget. But you just strap it and it spins you around in circles and it looks awful. I think it looks like a nightmare. Terrible.

I think I say it. You might like it. You love turbulence. I know. I was just going to say it doesn't look as fun as turbulence. But that's, yeah, that's the risk of death is not there. That's what really makes it tick when you do it. Like maybe this plane will actually go down is not in this element.

No, guys, I never wish that when I'm on the plane. I'm not like, wow, I hope maybe this will go down. I just like a little bump in my ride to spice things up when I'm bored. Jolt of adrenaline. Yes, I can't sleep on planes. It's really hard for me to sleep on planes. So just sitting there is quite boring for me. A little bit of bump in the ride.

One time I was on a small plane from Boston and we dropped like so drastically, so fast, and all of our drinks went flying in the air, and they, like, hit the ceiling. And for a second, we were, like, petrified, like, really scared. But once we realized we were okay, like, we all just started dying laughing because our mom, I was on the play with my mom and my mom's friend, and they were like, they had their drinks all over them. At even the slightest sign of turbulence, I'm looking around being like, are we okay? Like, are we going to make it? Is this the one that takes us down?

Even just like a little like just like kind of up out of my seat, I can't handle it. I can't see. I'm kidding. I'm so kidding. It just felt like there had to be a punchline there. It did. Because I paused because the damn heaters making it always again. You paused and I just felt like one of us had to insert something there.

Some of us had to fill something in. I didn't mean that really. It just had to be said. That's fair. Okay. Victoria P. Top notch traumatic story. Top notch.

editing. She had a traumatic teacup ride experience where she's had motion sickness for the rest of her life. They had, the best is when like when I watch it back, I watch it with the closed captioning on and when scenes like this, it's

like distant laugh, distant like manic laughter cloud. Like we're you know we're in there's a demon. Is that the word? Yes, it's a demonic laughter. Oh, ho. Yep. And it's like all the crying noises. Shades of Annalise when she had the bumper cars.

Exactly. Somehow they top that. The more they just, this is what makes the show the best and the more they do it, the better. It could have just been a normal, like, I'm scared to go on the Orbitron and I'm going to get sick. That's going to be shitty. But instead they're like, do you ever have anything in your past that maybe made you this way? No, it's like the sick clown music and, you know, everything. And they're like, teacups dramatic.

People are saying it's like, that's like the B-roll they show on Dateline before they're talking about some sort of murder story. A plus. I think it's funny how when you see that, you're like, wow, that girl's dramatic but it's just the editing because that girl was probably just like, yeah, I never...

She's like, yeah, you know, I get motion sickness. I never get motion sickness. I've never thrown up in front of a boy before. If I said that like that, you guys have been like, oh, yeah, that's super casual. I would say, well, when did that start? Like, when was the first time you had motion sickness? You're like, oh, well, you know, when I was a kid,

I was on the teacups. And they're like, gotcha. They're like, perfect. Got you. This is going to be the best moment of the episode. Thank you very much. just the way they do it is so good. Victoria P. She did it. She ends up throwing up afterwards. Pete brings her water.

She said it's she's never had anybody care for her like that before. Tyler C. had a had a tweet go viral about this. Here comes Tyler C. being the nice guy. It's like, you know, if this is the standard we have, like, let's be better men. Yeah. He brought her a water bottle when she was sick. Yeah. And I said it before. We discussed it on the group chat a little bit where It's right. He's right. What he's saying is correct.

But you got to leave something for the rest of us, Tyler. See, like tens of thousands of retweets. Yeah, it's got like 250,000 likes. Like, let me be the nice and hilarious and charming and awesome. Nobody better than me type of guy, you know? Tyler, see, you can have the six-pack and the height and the great hair and the great face. Let us be the super nice guys. I hope that Dylan or Tyler are listening to this. Yeah.

Not to continue on the Tyler tweet train. here but I just have to mention that on this note like he also retweeted um uh I guess there's like a last chance the last chance you director made a documentary about cheerleading school um it's like a cheer team at a Navarro college yeah and he like retweeted it was like this looks awesome like so people stop complaining about how cheerleaders aren't real athletes like going in like supporting the cheerleaders you know being like this looks great and all the replies are like oh my like literally Like girls just freaking out. Like that no man is better than Tyler C.

Like, oh, they're on Tyler C. Good morning to Tyler and Tyler C only. It's just, like, this guy knows what he's doing. You gotta leave some for the rest of us. Sometimes. I mean, Noah, how do you feel about your back and forth with Tyler on Twitter? Oh yeah, we've been talking on Twitter. You guys have, you guys have been active.

You guys have to banter. I kind of like, I'm just responding to them. That's so true. No, they're coming to Noah. They are. Yeah. I don't know. They were like, let's hire Noah.

Well. you guys gonna get a bidding war? Are you gonna, is chicks in the office gonna get in a bidding war with Tyler C and Dillis? It's just so much money. You just need, no, no, no. And also like, maybe they do. Yeah, maybe they do have a lot of money.

Come, even if it's not true. Stop, Noah. You know that's not true. Come back to Ria and Fran and be like, Tyler C and Dillon are off of me a chunk of money. Yeah, now it wouldn't work anymore, but I'm just saying. If they actually were. No, I'm scared.

There you go. He knows what he's doing. Anyway. Anyway, My reading the replies to Tyler's tweets really are just hilarious. It's like, of course Tyler C knows cheerleading is a sport. I swear I have more respect for you every day. Ooh, Tyler, like I didn't know I could love you more.

And then you're defending cheerleading and somehow my love has grown. It's just, you know, he's a smart guy when it comes to this stuff. I'll start tweeting about cheerleading right now. Go for it. Go for it. I'll do it. Make sure everyone knows that you think cheerleading is a badass. Okay.

I might quote tweet his one about Be Betterman, be like, Yeah, everyone be better. And cheerleading's real sport. And save the koalas. I don't know something to do something. You know. Really weigh it on. Yeah.

Okay. So he, Peter gives the water bottle to Victoria. Then we have this obstacle course, which is so fucking funny. There was like a wind part of it. So they're going through the bouncy house. And then they're covered in mustard. And they're on this slip and slide. And these giant fans are blowing them.

all over the place. And it was just, I was dying of laughter. Because they also had the funny clown music going on the back. Like as they're sliding all over the place, tripping, Peter's dying laughing.

The music's playing. Like everyone's just like pointing and laughing at them. It was very, very funny. More of it. Need more of it. Kelly and Tammy came out at the end.

There was like a little bike path to get to the finish line. You're supposed to go around the men, the windmill. The windmill. And Tammy went around it and Kelly didn't. She just went straight for the finish line. So Kelly ended up winning and everybody said she cheated.

See, this is where it once again, it comes back to if you're not going to get consequences for this and there's no actual rules, you can't do whatever you can to win. Do whatever it is that's going to make you win because look, Kelly cheated, quote unquote, cheated, but she still went on the date. Right. Going back to what we said earlier, we're dealing with a generation of contestants that watch the show,

they should know that there are no real consequences for breaking the made-up rules of the game, of having time with The Bachelor of interrupting three, four times to get more time of them. Maybe if you walk into the mansion after you're a limo introduction, you walk back out. You show up at the guys,

you show up at the Bachelor's door because you just ask the producer if you could go and they're like, sure. They, I don't think they would explicitly say it to you, but they want you to break the rules because that's what makes moments. Kelly so-called cheating at this game, got everyone freaked out and mad at her, but it didn't matter. They were like, yeah, well, she wins the one-on-one and she gets to go with him. So that's kind of the way it is.

And, you know, so they take their sunset flight. It looks like they're really picking up right where they left off. They seem like a very, like, normal couple. They're just kissing and flying. It looked very romantic. Kelly came back to all the girls, and it was like dead silent. and they were like, Tammy addressed her cheating scandal. And Kelly was just like, I really don't know what you want me to say.

Like, I don't care. She just didn't care. How much Kelly didn't care. I love it. She just did not give a fuck. She was like, yeah, I did. She was like, I didn't. I'm sorry.

I didn't really know. Like the rules were going to be like real rules. Yeah. Because they're not. They're not. And not only did I cheat and win. But I've got a history with Pete. And I'm way ahead of all of you in this game already.

I've been cheating the whole time. Yeah. I made myself. I stalked him. This is alleged. I stalked him. and I met him at that hotel because I knew I was going to go on the show.

I've already got extra time with him and I'll cheat at your made-up flight school game and I'm going to win this thing. She didn't say that but I think that's what she was thinking. It's so true. So then we have the full group date. Victoria P. just whips out glasses. You know, she's got hot girl glasses

and she's talking to Pete. Pete goes out, grabs flowers for her because she said she's never been given flowers by a guy before just Pete, you sly dog. It seems like Victoria hasn't been treated nicely by guys. First, the water bottle is the nicest thing anybody's ever done. She's never gotten flowers from anybody. It seems tough.

Yeah. It really does. But, you know, Dave has been talking about Victoria P because I guess they were in Vegas at the same time. And he said everybody was fawned over Victoria P. He said she was the real deal. He said they had a conversation. And there was no little bit of crazy that jumped out. She was like she just was perfectly normal.

Yeah. And people really liked her. So I think that immediately puts her as a favorite, obviously. And she already is a favorite to make it to the end. Victoria and Pete make out. Then we learned that Kelly and Peter are in the same hotel. It's the same hotel that they met at. They reenact.

Of all the hotels in the world, they end up. They end up. How many hotels do you think there are in the world? Yeah. A couple thousand? More than that. Take that back. There's more than that.

Probably a couple thousand in L.A. And they just so happened to end up at the one where Pete and Kelly met. Boy. Because there's no shot that Kelly told them what hotel. No. Or Pete at what hotel that they met at. This show is just touched by an angel. It really is.

The thing's just fall into place. Sheehan gets kind of screwed again. Like she keeps getting Pete stolen from her. Kelly takes them away. and Pete is just, he's horny. He's horny and he knows what he's doing. Those are the two conclusions that I've come to. He put Kelly up on that counter.

It was smooth. It was way better than him putting hand on the pool table on her season. Wow, I forget that. Oh, yeah. Like he just put her up on the counter of the bar and was like, yeah. I was like, what am I watching? He's had practice. Yeah, these are two people who I think aren't letting on it.

It makes me think they bang. I think so too. I've been under that impression the whole time. I wasn't under the impression until getting up on the bar. But when he picked her up so he's like that and put her on the bar, I was like, they did this before. These two are familiar with each other. Very familiar. Yeah.

Talking about sex. Yes. Let's talk about sex. And it makes more sense than Pete like. Let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be. That was beautiful, guys. Okay.

Moving on. Okay. Those two boned. Yes. I think so as well. Kelly, also I feel like you have to to make you say, yes, I'm going to go on the Bachelor

to fight a billion girls for this man's heart. Like, they must have had sex, you know? Yeah, she's like, he's clearly good. Like, he knows what he's doing. Yeah. He has a lasting effect on women. Yeah. Yeah, he does.

Four times, guys. I know we said it a lot, but here we are back out again. Kelly got the group date rose. Cheaters always win. And then we had the one-on-one date. Madison got the one-on-one date. And boy, did they just throw her off the deep end.

This was so weird. This is when things started getting really weird in the episode. Now, I know it was weird in the beginning. This is when it really got a little crazy. Madison is going to see Pete's parents renew their vows at 31 years old, which Hank was... 31 years of marriage. Sorry. 31 years of marriage.

Which Hank was yelling. about while watching. He was like, they're only doing this because Pete's on the show. You think people randomly do this at 31, which I agree with. Right, which is like, you're kind of like, yeah, no shit, Hank, like watch the show. One time for me. Yeah, watch the show one time.

Which is when people are like Hank watches, he really barely watches. He'll step in for a few minutes so he can get some, a little bit so you can see some faces. Yeah. But that's about it. Yeah, that, him saying that's how I would have, like, when I first started watching the show, that's how I was too. I was like, this is a little convenient here that they're going to be really. you knew in their vows now.

31 years. But now that I'm a few years into it, I'm like, what are they doing? This is crazy. Don't do that. Because it is, I mean, taking her to that was quite risky. I know. But it's also like put the pieces together, right? They're filming this show 10 minutes from where Pete's entire family is.

Like, the producers know what they're doing. Like, they know getting Pete's family involved is going to do really well because they saw on Hannah's season how much everybody loved Pete's parents. And they're like, this is a great idea. They've done this before where Bachelor of Bacheloretts have Tek and contestants like pretty early on and they meet the parents and it's like a whole big

deal. Yep. So I had a feeling a date like this was going to happen. I didn't really think it would be the first one on one date but here we are. His parents were super his parents were super cute. You know like his mom's talking Madison and she's like I really like you.

It seemed like everything was going well. Madison made a toast. Like she caught the bouquet. Yeah. Which was definitely thrown directly. Yeah. That was a little... How many takes did they have to do that? Coordinated.

Yeah. I thought her facial expressions when she was sitting in the audience while they were reading the vows to each other, those are very important. She was, I think she handled it pretty well. She hit all. She hit all of her marks. Sort of some stern nodding and then some smiling and laughing because that could be, otherwise you don't want to look bored.

Some very sweet moments where you're like, oh. Yeah, she gave a toast. It's like, who is this? Everyone in there is probably like, who is this person? But it still works. And it's all just happens. to be on TV. Let's be honest.

They all know what they're there for. They definitely were watching that the other night being like, oh, oh, pose it. There's me in the back. Yeah. It could have been a disaster and I think it ended up going about as well as it could. Definitely, definitely. They have their dinner date, which also went really well.

I think she's coming off very mature for, you know, her 23 years old. And she was telling Pete, like, I'm here to support you. Hang in there. You know, uh, uh, uh, Trust your, like, Madison was like, you could, I just want you to trust yourself, make the right decisions for you. If it's me, that's great. If it's not, like, I just want you to be happy and figure it out.

That's super mature for 22 to. Very mature. And then Pete, I felt like was dropping little hints when he was like, he kind of told her, you know, hang in there. It's a long ride, but like I like you. She got the rose. They kiss. They have a country band sing for them.

They dance. His whole family comes out again. Of course. Are they going to be in every episode? It might as well. If his parents just like pop out at the end of every day, it would be hilarious. If there's just like a side door. He meets every girl.

Like a side door and they're just like, oh, I mean, if they're filming the portions that they film around L.A., like if I was his mom, I would probably just go watch them film. What a fantastic running joke that would be? Yeah. When are Pete's parents going to come out? When's it going to happen? It's just Pete's mom up there. Was that Pete's mom behind that curtain? Yeah, or they do it that way where it's like subtle, but it's like.

A little Easterer. After the season's over, though, like, Pete's parents were in every single episode. Every episode. Go back and watch them and try and find it. Shout out to Teneal Arts. That was the obscure band that performed. Apparently they performed. Some he said they performed during Colton's season two.

I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't remember. I just love, that was on the bingo card that I made up and doesn't actually exist of things that will happen during a bachelor episode. Bringing out the obscure country artist other than our guy, Jake Owen, who I love. Oh, yes. Who I love. But everybody else is.

I was shocked when that happened. That's a big deal. That's a big deal. But everybody else, I just love when they bring those little bands out. Definitely. Okay. Then we had the beginning of another group date. There were, I mean, just content overload in this episode.

They really switched up the formula in terms of what they're going to show you. I'm happy with it. It was really smart because the ratings skyrocketed. Up 20%. They gave us way more, way more content. And also, maybe they wanted this shit with Hannah to happen in the first episode. Who knows? So we have this second group date.

It's Lauren, Sydney, Peyton. Natasha, Alexa, Kelsey McKenna, Alea Savannah. The group date card said, I hope this isn't awkward. Peter, they get to, you know,

it seemed like some kind of concert hall type place. And he peats like, all right guys, like this date is organized by one of my friends. Like let's bring her out. Like,

and bam, there's Hannah Brown on stage and her silver sparkly dress. Telling the windmill story. This is when things got fucking weird. I said it got weird Before, this is when things got really, really strange. I was watching my TV like, what is happening?

Things are uncomfortable. Hannah Brown is, yet again, telling the story about how she fucked Pete on a Wimel four times. She said that word. She said, yeah, we fucked four. Or no, maybe she said not fucked. She said four fucking times. That's one of us when she said that.

I didn't know where it was going after that. Not a clue. I'm like, why is she getting on stage and making everybody uncomfortable, really? You know what I mean? I think that Hannah Brown has done a phenomenal job of staying very likable. Yeah. Throughout. For sure.

Since her season has ended. And she went dancing with stars. And I like following her. She hasn't gotten too much into like shit talking jazz. No, no, no. This is the one time that I think that I saw at least on Twitter of people being like, all right, girl. Like, let's. Right.

Yeah. Even I like earlier in this show, I was like seeing her get out of the limo to give Pete his wings back. That was like, it's good to see her. It's like that's Hannah. We had a great season with her. It didn't work out the way she wanted to, but she was successful in dancing with the stars. Always good to see her. She pops up again.

And even in my head, I was like, why? It's too much. And I think that people on Twitter felt the same way. It's just kind of flipped a little bit. And just to be those girls. Yeah, yeah. Super uncomfortable. They're trying to get Peter to like them.

it's Peter's season, so he's trying to figure it out. She just keeps coming on back, which I think has to do with the producers. Oh, totally. I mean, I was going to say, I was going to congratulate the producer who came up with this idea for a group date. Like whatever, whoever thought about this one, Rufus. How did they get her to agree to this is what I'm wondering? Because she might still be under contract. Maybe she doesn't have a choice.

Yeah, because I was reading maybe in her contract. She has to make an appearance. and who knows. I mean, maybe this is why they didn't pick Mike. Yeah, yeah. Because she had more of a thing with Peter and then panic and come back and it's a thing. Who knows.

But it continued and it got weirder and weirder. It really did. And then, you know, we went back to, it was like behind the stage produced. You could see the producers like asking Hannah, like, are you okay? What's going on? Well, let's talk about first how they were going to make everybody get up on stage.

Oh, right, right. And tell. Yes. The whole concept of the group date was get on stage in front of a live audience and tell a awkward sex story or a fantasy. Yes. The way that she... Or you want to your wildestriness. The way she presented it, I felt like I was getting bullied by Hannah and I wasn't even there.

I was very intimidated. She was like, now we're all going to get up on stage. And it seemed like it had to be done. Everyone was like, what is going on? I tweeted this. I've never been in a sorority, but I imagine that's what a sorority president is like. We need to sit down and you need to reveal your deepest, darkest secret. And she was saying it in such a positive way, but it felt like a threat.

She was like, it's going to be fun. Everybody's going to get up here and tell a story. But everybody else is like, I don't want to do that. It kind of sounded like, well, it kind of sounded like it was also coming off like, so here's my crazy story. That's really like crazy. Now, you guys think of your crazy stories. And if you don't have one, you got to think of something else. Right.

Then think of a fantasy. If you're a virgin, then come up with something. And nobody's going to top her story. I went on national TV. I went on the bachelor or I was the bachelorette. And I had sex with a guy four times on a windmill. Nobody's matching that. No.

That's the all-time story. I'm just, we have to continue talking about what happened after this. But I'm just wondering if we ever will get this challenge. Like, are they going to get up on that stage at some point and start doing this? Maybe. Or was that just a weird little thing they threw in making us think that's going to happen. And yet they're like, no, we're not actually doing this. I think after all the tears, I think.

name I just call it a day. A lot of crying. And then it's like, all right, now let's talk about sex. Yeah. I just don't think that's happening. Right. So like I said, Hannah is feeling like super emotional. She's like crying off in the back room.

And Pete like walks in and he's like, hey, birthday girl. So we're all like, oh shit. This is also Hannah's fucking birthday. What a terrible birthday. So what a terrible birthday. Which also makes me think like she did not have much of a choice, you know? Yeah. But you're telling me that's how she wanted to spend her 25th,

25th birthday. So she's crying. Mascara is pouring down her face. Whatever mascara they gave her, whoever did her makeup did her real dirty because whose mascara runs like that anymore. I haven't seen that in a while.

In a long time. You would think that if you're doing your makeup, right, you would use waterproof because you're doing somebody's makeup who's supposed to be a high profile person. You're going to put the best makeup. You're going to make sure it doesn't smudge. No, no, no. they were like, we're going to make this shit run all around her face.

That was very educational. Back and forth you guys just had because I just figured that this was normal mascara. When you start crying, it just sort of bleeds all over the way. If I started crying right now, it would not happen. My mascara would not be on my face. Same. I've had moments where I have cried with mascara and really cried and it has not had to happen like that. I've cried here and have been totally okay with just going in the bathroom and wiping it off.

Yep. High pressure environment. You know, that happens. Yeah. That happens. So, okay. So that had to be on purpose. It was either on purpose or she's got the worst brand of mask care known to man.

I don't know. I don't know what was going on. But they start to have this like very legitimate conversation, which almost felt weird watching. Like it felt like we really were watching. I think I tweeted something like this show is built off us watching private conversation. but this feels really private. Like this was the closure of conversation that they just never had.

Yeah, it felt a little, remember when at the end of Ari's season, when he showed back up at Becca's house, and that felt like, maybe we shouldn't be filming this. Borderline intrusive. It's like, this is a very real conversation. The conversation between Pete and Hannah

gave me the same vibes. Totally. And, you know, Pete said a little bit of him was hoping that when she showed up the first night, that she was actually there to stay. Hannah was saying things like, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Like,

which is so fair. Like, people give Hannah shit for not making a decision for hopping between guys. But, like, when she was the Bachelorette, she was 24.

Like, she just turned 25. I've actually realized that Hannah and I are like four days apart. Oh, congrats. Yeah, great news for me. Thanks, guys.

Congratulations. Yeah, thank you. Yeah. So, but I'm just thinking, like, I can't imagine

being put in that situation and then, like, you pick somebody and you're like oh shit I definitely fucked this up like it's so it's so possible so she was like I really have no idea what the fuck I was doing that she questions her decisions do you guys think that Hannah may have been crying so much

because she didn't want to be there and she couldn't and she couldn't say I don't want to be here so she had to just be like I don't know what I'm doing right now yeah that could definitely be part of it I mean I think it I think that could I think that could be part of it but also like it's a mixture of

It's also hard seeing Pete, like, now be the bachelor, you know? Yeah, I just, I have a hard time grasping the fact that they had that strong of a connection. That's also fair. Sex four times in Winnell. Well, oh, okay. See, yes. That bonds to be. No, that's totally, totally different.

Yeah. Thank you. Now I know. She never slept with Tyler. I now understand why. Because when you have sex with somebody four times in Windmill, there was a reason you went back for those four times. Yeah. You didn't just have sex with that person one time.

That would be a little different. Four times there was clearly something there. Then now when she sees him, it's like, ooh, now she remembers that. And I just talked to myself back to why I had the connection. I totally forgot. We have talked to enough people who've been on the show where people from the outside looking in are like, come on, it's eight weeks. How much can you actually get involved with someone, fall in love with someone?

But then when you talk to those people, they're like, you are so shut off from the outside world. They don't have your phones. They don't have any sort of connection, like I said, to the outside world. that it feels much more intense than maybe it really is. So I can, and he made it to the final three. So they certainly spent so much time together, had sex four times that it's very possible to me that this is,

the connection was that strong. It feels like such an uncomfortable situation. You're stuck with this person for so many weeks and you have nowhere else to go. And then you're off the show and you go back to your real life and you're like, do I reach out to this person? Do I not? Like that seemed like that was also part of the conversation they were having when Pete was like, did you ever think about asking me out on that date, like instead of Tyler?

Like, and she was like, you didn't reach out. Tyler reached out. And he's like, I didn't know. I should have reached out. Like, there's, they're talking about, you sent me home. You didn't want me. Like, there was, there's been no like real world conversations between them that they're having this now again on camera.

They're like, well, we haven't talked. He's like, it's like, I didn't know you wanted to talk to. Well, I didn't know you wanted. Like, Hannah probably just assumed that he was fine because he was going to be the bachelor. like that he's, you kind of look like a dumb dumb if you reach out to the guy who's like going to be the bachelor, you know? Yeah, but I am kind of torn here because Pete is now her third option. Let's be completely honest.

He was the third option because I'm siding with Pete. Why didn't you reach out? You're the one who sent Pete home. Yeah. If Hank broke up with me, I would then wait. I would not go and then reach out to him a million times. I would, if he wants to come back to him. me he's going to come get me you know what I mean this is definitely on Hannah to reach out to

Pete yes but I think Hannah the 24 year old woman that she was at the time wanted the guy to reach out to her like because Tyler reached she's saying that Tyler reached out to her yeah so you're thinking that that's could have been you know how this works or how it happened and so like they're having this conversation he asked Pete asked her if he said you know what would you say if I asked you to come into this house and she was like, I don't know, maybe. Maybe. That really threw me. How excited were you trying?

I was so excited because that's just, at that point, I'm just rooting for it to happen because that would make the show infinitely more interesting. It's going to be interesting regardless, but to have Hannah in that house with them, must see TV. This was, I also thought the realest part of this conversation between them. And Ria, I think you can definitely agree with me. Pete asked, like, do you ever, did you like regret it at all, sending me home? which is like when your boyfriend asks you a dumb question and you're like yeah I did like yeah I did Peter like the way she like the way she said it she was like yeah Peter I question it all

the time okay like the way she said I was like oh boy do I feel that like when you're asked like when you're like you're asked a question that you know you know he knows the answer like you know is the sky blue yeah it's fucking blue like yeah like he just wants to hear her say like that he she regrets setting him home like obviously she's fucking bawling her eyes out she clearly regrets scar running down her face thanks to the makeup artist and she clearly regrets something

Hannah tells him that it was in her mind it was always going to be him and Jed at the end I don't believe that though because she picked Tyler I know well Pete was like you never told me that she was like I told you it was going to be like I thought it was going to be a she's like uh no

the fuck you didn't if you thought it was going to be them then why wasn't it them too that's my whole question if you thought it was going to be Peter and Jed, then why the fuck was Tyler and Jed? Tyler snuck in there at the end, clearly. He's a great-looking guy. Yeah. He's just, you look at him and he's got to be in the final.

Why wasn't it Tyler and Peter? And then she picked Peter. You know, I've really, now we're here. I've really deleted Jed from my mind, so I don't even remember if he was like charming or if he was interesting. No, the whole season we didn't like him, do you not remember?

I always like, oh, look, my guitar just happens to be right here. Like that was the thing that drove me nuts about it. Yeah, I'm going to write a song about this. It's the conversation to me, and I think you guys agree, it's just, it felt so real and it felt a bit like, should we be watching this? And that's why it was the best part. Like you can't look away from stuff like that. It was just like the episode was good up until that point. But then when that happened, it was like, this is an all time episode. Totally. And you and you're like, here I am wondering about why she picked Jed all over again. Because I think I've come to the final thought of that. I think like it would have. just been really easy and like comfortable with Jed, you know?

Like she was like, here's this guy. He wants to be like a country music star. I can be the wife of a country music star. We can keep the fame. Like we can be in the spotlight. Like I can keep this lifestyle. I don't have to have the mystery of like, well, where's Tyler going to end up? Or where's Peter going to end up? Like,

I know that this is what this guy wants to do. We can hang out. But then once he turned out to be a piece of shit, she was like, well, this isn't going to work. Like I can't I can't publicly be with a guy who publicly cheated or not cheated publicly lied

yeah yeah yeah I'm trying to think like I don't know like obviously what's gonna happen now because we know Pete was it Pete was like I just want to kiss her

and make her feel better see that's where he's still worried about Pete because he's not ready he still likes her and this makes you think the beginning of very beginning

of the premiere episode it starts very strange like we talked about and it's like so are they trying to tell us that he's going to get through this entire season and still not be over here. With Hannah not at the house

and then at the end be like I'm still in love with Hannah. That's sort of what it feels like. That's what I'm feeling as well. Like that there's going to be maybe some message or something that happened that Chris Harrison's going to be like, hey, I got to let you know this.

And maybe we're just falling for this. And blow it on. One dancing with the stars and Peter's like, I need her now. Yeah. Maybe. Oh my God. I just pictured

I just pictured Chris Harrison in the desert with Pete. is he's ready to propose. And I'm just going, we have breaking news. Hannah, we just got word that Hannah won dancing with the stars.

And she wants to share the mirror ball with you. Like, what is there? Peter just puts the ring back in his pocket and he gets in a car. I think that we are now used to seeing a finale that is just crazy.

Like that's absolute chaos and it's destruction because Colton season, what the fuck happened there? I mean, the fence. jump, Cassie, she left, and Colton wants Cassie, now they're together, they're still dating,

is it real, who knows, I don't know. Yeah. Now, then we had Hannah. Thought she was happy with Jed. Yep. Boom. Jed's a problem. I mean, Ari picked the wrong girl. Ari picked the wrong girl. We are not used to seeing a fair tale ending.

Becca just picked Gary and they're still going strong. That was almost a problem, though. Yes. It was almost a problem. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. And then they were kind of like, we don't care. decided to move past it. No, yeah. It wasn't that we didn't care.

Becca and Garrett were like, we don't care. We don't care. Yeah. We also, they're just boring. We forgot about that. But now I feel like we are expecting a crazy ending and we're just thinking that he's going to be in love with Hannah at the end. And I don't want to let myself believe that. I want to believe that we're going to get a season. And not that I want this because I would love to see the chaos of Peter being like, I don't want any of you. I want Hannah. I would hate it and love it at the same time.

But I also kind of just want to see Peter find somebody at this point. I mean, we haven't watched a successful season. Yeah. So they have hinted. Trent, how do you feel? You seem. No, that all sounds right to me. Wait, let me tell you this first and then you couldn't see.

Okay. Because they have said that this is one of the first seasons that cannot be spoiled, that the ending cannot be spoiled. cannot be spoiled. What the fuck does that mean? So, oh, man, that just ruined everything for me.

That just ruined everything. And not that I was going to look up the spoilers. No, no. And we will not. Do not do spoilers. Do not send them to us. People.

Do not. If you see pictures, if there's like, oh my God, here's Pete photograph with blah, blah, blah. What do you think this means? Don't send it to us.

Don't send it. Please don't. I got spoiled last season. I was fucking pissed. And if you're going, if somebody spoils it for me, I want other. people to start tweeting random names of me because if you muddy the water is enough then I don't

know but clearly you can't spoil the ending what Fran just said that that hurts Harrison was saying that this you can't spoil the ending that hurts my brain I don't know what that means that to me means that he didn't pick anyone right what about Hannah's post for Peter the other night what was it of her saying this like congrats bud yeah Hannah yeah she she's not staying I mean If anything, I felt like that post also confirmed that she was not saying. She wrote, find your co-pilot. It's your turn in the captain's seat. Bud, enjoy the ride.

And then he commented, thanks, Bama, with an airplane. Yeah. So they're on good terms. That Bud hit me like a ton of bricks. Bud. It was like a liver shot. You're not competing in the house and calling him Bud. No, but that might be, you know, smoke screen.

A shakeoff? Yeah, shake off. This is exactly what they want. They want us thinking about everything. And then somebody, I can't figure out. that aren't even there. I can't figure out if this is a true DM or not because I can't find Peter's Venmo. But some girl DM me and said that Peter's Venmo was Peter Weber or whatever it was.

And then it was changed to Bud. But I can't find his Venmo. I looked that up. It didn't pop up. That seems like such a weird thing to do. And I don't know why this girl was looking at his Venmo or where she got this information from. Seems like such a weird thing to do. I got so deep down is Hannah going to stay at the house, Rabbitel?

Right. We're like matching up timelines. Fenmos, timelines of dancing with the stars. It's all in L.A. Maybe they can make it work. I don't think she's sticking around, but I don't think this is the last we're going to hear about Pete's involvement with Han.

Totally not. I'm so bad, but I won't. I know. This is actually one of the seasons where I have been dying to also, but I will not. It's just, it gets me every time and it makes me laugh

because we were so adamant with all the teasers and the trailers and whatever. We're like, we're not going to let them get us. She's not coming back. There's no way she's coming back. Come on. She wanted dancing with the stars.

She's not coming back, you idiots. There's no way she's coming back. Watch night one and I'm like, oh my God, is she coming back? I was fully convinced that she was going to join the house. She's just going to move in all of her stuff and all the girls are going to be furious about it. Guys, and then Alan, just Alan, sweet, sweet Alan, just to throw, what's the expression? Throw a wrench? No, no, no.

A bone to, when you make the, you know, throw some, you know, to the match. Add gasoline to the fire? Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Thank you. Here we are, guys. There's been a long recap. He just,

Fuel to the fire. Fuel to the fire. Fuel to the fire. Thank you. He's at Fueling. Gasoline. Yep. He, he, um,

he's at him fuel to the fire. Both those together. He posted on his, yes. He posted on his Instagram, uh, from the bathroom mansion. And I,

and I don't know if he just did to fuck with everybody or to get up. Who posted? Alan did. Hannah's dance partner. Oh, Alan Bernstein. Yes. He wrote that one time. but I was definitely just going to ride

and go down with him. So on Tuesday, he posted that one time I was at the Bachelor Mansion will you accept these shoes? And it's like him in front of the mansion. He's posing with Chris Harrison. It's with Hannah. They're in front of the mansion.

It's like, did she run there after the finale? My God, are you guys doing dance practice at the mansion? Like, what's going on? I think anything is possible. Anything. Anything is possible. I want to look up the spoiler so about. I won't.

I won't. I want to though really bad. But if you're saying that the ending cannot be spoiled, it can't be. I also want to raise this question. We saw that there was drama when Dylan unfollowed Hannah on Instagram and so did Tyler. Yeah. Tyler and Dylan are both friends with Peter. Yes. Why would they unfollow his new girlfriend?

Oh, man. You know what I'm saying? They're close with Peter. Why would they go through the lengths to unfollow Hannah and have like, or so to speak drama that the media saying. If their dear friend. If Pete ended up with her again. Yeah.

Yeah. My brain hurts. Me too. Trying to think about all these things. Well, guys. Trying to connect the dots. We'll see what happens. We've so many weeks to find out.

This was the longest recap we've ever done. And I mean, it was, it's, blame the Bachelor for making a three-hour premiere with so much shit that went down. And I'm glad we got to all. of it. And I think that wraps it up, unless you guys have any more final thoughts. No, I think that's, I think we covered it all. That was my final thought. Okay. I like that. That was a good way to end it. Really get everybody thinking. Yep. We'll be back next week. All right. That wraps up today's episode. Remember to send celebrity conspiracy theories that you

want to talk about. Not Caleb. Do not send them to Caleb. Send celebrity conspiracy theories. Some people got confused when I wrote celeb. So many people sent them to Caleb. So many people, apparently Caleb got hundreds of conspiracies because I said Celeb, I wrote Sleb, people thought that meant Caleb. No, no, no, no. Just Celeb as in Celebrity. Send them Our Way. And we'll be back on Monday.