Chicks in the Office - The Bachelorette Recap

Episode Date: May 16, 2019

NEW SUMMER CITO MERCH: (https://bit.ly/2WyegBK). We're convinced Zac Efron & Lily Collins are in love (6:38-15:37). Paris Hilton called Lindsay Lohan "beyond, lame & embarrassing" on WHHL with Andy Cohen (16:10-20:47). John Mayer set the record straight about him and Kourtney Kardashian (23:07-30:50). 'Game of Thrones' episode 5 recap (31:21-59:00). Full recap of 'The Bachelorette' premiere (1:00:57-1:47:56). Follow us on Instagram @chicksintheoffice and on Twitter @chicksintheoff.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/chicks-in-the-office

Hey, Chicks in the Office listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. What's up, everyone? It's Chicks in the Office with Ria and Fran. Of course, we have a great show for you today, like usual. But before we get into it, we need to talk to you about Seekek because let's face it, summer is about going to concerts. You can enjoy the concerts outside. And there's a lot coming up. buying tickets can be complicated and confusing, but there is a simpler way to buy with Seekek. Seek is the smartest, easiest way to get tickets to every type of live event. Whether you're catching your favorite musician on tour, for us is going to be John Mayer,

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They're super comfortable. And yeah, it's warm weather. Warm weather, everybody. Hopefully. It's like still kind of cold in New York. It's been ass. Yeah. It's been asked. We had field day this week because we're still in middle school at our job.

And it started raining. It was 49 degrees. It was raining. And we were at field day. I was really miserable. I had a water balloon pop all over me. I was soaking wet. It was already raining. Like nothing's worse than just sitting in wet clothes and it's already cold outside. And there's just nothing you can do. There's nothing you can do about it. Like I had layers on. It was just through my sweatshirt, my shirt. You know when you get your sneakers wet and then they stay wet for like forever? Like my feet, when I took my sneakers off

when I got home to my apartment, my feet were like still wet. Stinky as well? I don't know. I didn't smell to test, but I would assume maybe. Probably. If you have wet socks and wet sneakers, your feet definitely stink. I was not miserable at Field Day. I was just fighting with everybody the whole time. So that'll be interesting.

You guys can watch that video when it comes out if you're interested. I don't know what you guys are into besides this podcast, of course, where we have so much that we want to share with you today, Fran. The Bachelorette is back. It's back. It's back. It is something.

Okay, we were nervous. Recaps are back. Yeah, recaps are back. We were nervous about this season. And the best of all, we have a Hannaby interview coming to you next week. Yeah. So I'm so excited. I'm so excited to talk to her.

I'm so excited for this season. Even just from the ABC knows how to get me. Even just from the promo for the season, I feel like Hannah is showing kind of a more like badass serious side. Like no bullshit Hannah and I'm going to enjoy it. I appreciate that fully. The coming attractions always get me mad because I'm like, you're just spoiling the show.

I'm seeing the people who are making it. Yeah, but they just do it so well. They do it well. And honestly, there's still times that we're shocked during the season. So I guess it doesn't matter. But Fran, we have so many great topics that we talked about on this podcast. So let's get into it. Okay.

We got Zach Efron and Lily Collins who have to be in love. Convinced they're in love. They have to be in love. We have Paris Hilton talking about Lindsay Lohan on Watch What Happens Live. And Courtney Kardashian and John Mayer rumors. John Mayer cleared it up also on Andy Cohen. So Andy Cohen is the king and he gets everybody to say anything. Literally anything.

It's amazing. We also have two recaps. So Game of Thrones and The Bachelorette, two very different things. But here we are. We're just very diverse women. We have very diverse interests. That's the type of people we are. We do both.

Bachelor and Game of Thrones. I got to say, my views on Game of Thrones are now creeping into my view of the Bachelorette. Like I'm hoping people on The Bachelorette turn evil and kill people because I'm forgetting it's a real show. Right. With real people and real feelings. Yeah, real life people are on this show. It's not all made up like Game of Thrones.

But either way, we cover it all for you. So, Fran, let's get into it. Starting off with Zach Efron and Lily Collins. Zach Efron and Lily Collins are in love. And it's quite obvious. It's quite obvious after this glamour video that they put out. It's a friendship test. They did it with plenty of celebrities, but they did.

with Zach Efron and Lily Collins and the music, the backdrop, the sexual tension, between the two of them was literally crawling on my body through the screen. I was watching the two of them and I was falling in love because they did a friendship test and you know, you have to say nice things about each other. Noah play the clip and you know. Like the nicest things. Literally the nicest things. You can't say nicer things about somebody else. What you would say about somebody if they were like, describe your boyfriend or girlfriend. Like, what do you like about them? Yes.

That's the kind of answers you would give. If I was, I know it's obviously different because it's somebody of the opposite sex. But if, like, we were doing the best friends test, I don't know if I could come up with the, the, the, the words, the vocabulary on these two. Fran, I got to be honest. If somebody asks us to come up with nice things about each other, I'd be like, she's funny. She's nice. Like, I don't think I would really give in depth. They really dove into it.

And if you do it opposite sex, like say Noah. say they put me a no on a thing. They were like friendship test. Like say nice things about each other. Like I truthfully don't know. Like Noah is shaking his head. Like I don't really know if it would be like I would need like I would need like a day to like come up. That's fucked up.

No, but it's true. Wow. I know with the jokes. Yeah. But when you look at it on the outside, it's like Lily Collins and Zach Ephron may really just think we're really good friends. Like we are. really good friends. They've known each other for a very long time.

Like 10 years. They're probably thinking we're great friends. We know each other for a long time. They don't look at each other in that way. But then when you see the chemistry in front of your face, it's hard not to say, Lily Collins and Zach Effron belong together. And now they probably are watching the video like, holy fuck, maybe we are in love. If I saw that video of me and one of my guy friends, I honestly, with this.

that kind of chemistry. Yeah. I think I'd have to say something. 100%. Which is why, I mean, like, just don't even put anybody in that place in the first place. No, it's glamorous. Crazy.

Knew what they were doing. Yes, exactly. They've known each other for so long. Now I'm convinced that they, well, there were rumors that they did date like years ago. Very briefly, they were like really young. I think it was like post-Venessa Hutchins era. But even if they didn't or date or whatever,

after watching that video I'm convinced they've hooked up I think that they may or may not have hooked up but maybe it's one of those things that they haven't hooked up and that's why the sexual tension is is so no I feel like a parent because no because usually if I feel like so many years have passed no I feel like they hooked up when they were really young and now it's like you're old and like friends and whatever but it also could be the fact that they have been for friends for so long and they haven't hooked up that it's just been years and years yeah years of this chemistry building up at some point they're going to crack and bang each other which i don't know but i've had zach got friends as a girlfriend yeah when i was young like i i had

a friend that i had hooked up with and now we're like very very close yeah that could happen so it's like and we're so comfortable with each other but maybe but it did happen when we were like when we were young so it's like whatever it could happen with them but when when you when those two were just staring into each other's eyes. I have no idea how Lily wasn't just like, like just a quick like, like just all of, like you just go in for the kiss. Like it's just your natural instinct.

She looked at him and she was like your eyes are getting bluer. And it's like, I mean, he's so goddamn high. He's so gorgeous. Listen, if you're staring at anybody in the eyes with blue eyes for a long period of time, you could get lost in them. I'm convinced that you could take like any, like say you have an attractive man.

male friend, you make him stare into your eyes for minutes. Like you're going to be like, well, he's getting harder and harder. Yeah, you're going to be like, oh damn, I'm seeing the flames come up. It's just natural. It's just primal. You're right. It's going to happen. But besides that, Lily Collins and Zach Efron are in love.

Like, it is so. It's so apparent. It's so apparent. They may not know it, but we could all see the chemistry. Like, they belong together. Yeah. We can't even talk about their new. movie because we haven't even watched it yet. And going back to the things that they were saying about each other. And then Zach Efron was like, she, you know what, Lily, the one thing that I, you know,

really love about you. My favorite thing about you is that you love baking. And in my life, I just need somebody who just like bakes cookies. And he's talking about what he needs. I'm like, she's standing right in front of you. She's standing right there. The perfect girl. And then he was like, you have such a great smile. And it's like, it was no joke like watching a 10 minute long romantic comedy. Like it was like, Boy meets girl. They're friends. They don't know what to do. The tension's there.

Will, they, they? And then the video ended and we were left with the cliffhanger. That's how I feel about it. If Lily Collins and Zach Frund don't get married, I'm going to feel robbed. I mean, those two crazy kids got to give it a shot. They got to give it a shot. It's one of the, I don't care. Like, I'm sorry to Zach Efron's girlfriend, but have you seen this chemistry?

Does that have a girlfriend right now? What do you mean? Remember when we tell them? Oh, so true. the normie, the swimmer from Europe, right? I mean, where was she from? Yes, he can't be dating. Wow, I forgot about it.

Sorry, I forgot about her after watching Lily Collins. I was like, he must be single. Exactly. That's the thing. Like, how is he supposed to act like he has great chemistry? Anything's fizzled out with that girl. We haven't seen her. Yeah, we haven't seen her.

Yeah. There is no amount of chemistry that's going to compete with Lily Collins and Zach Ephron like that. No. Two beautiful people just staring. Like watching two beautiful people stare into each other's eyes, like you want them to hook up so bad. And I don't know if that's just like everybody's natural love of like watching sex scenes and movies and TV and stuff. But I was just like kiss, kiss, kiss.

I honestly like, I got to be honest, I started having feelings for both of them during the video because I was. You want, yeah, hypnotized by their chemistry, hypnotized. So check that video out if you have it because I can't believe that. it's called The Friendship Test. Actually crazy that they named the video The Friendship Test. If you haven't seen it, go watch it and you'll know, like, you'll finish that video and absolutely 100% agree with us. And if you don't, I love to hear why because it's clear as, yeah, clear is that.

If you don't agree with us, then tell us exactly why you don't and I'm ready to fight you on it. Paris Hilton went on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen and they played, plead the fifth. And of course, Paris did not hold back. Paris didn't hold back. that's why I love Paraselton because she can tell you what you're doing wrong and she's allowed to say it and nobody's going to be like Paraselton is mean. They're just going to be like that's Paraseltin. She created that brand for herself and Andy asked her about Lindsay Lohan asked her if she could say

three nice things and her three nice things were that she was so beyond and then she's also lame and embarrassing. I love Paraseltin. Love Paracelton. Mainly because she is the original basic bitch. Paracelton is the original, but she's the best. She's the best ever do it. She always will be.

And when she just sits back and she's like, lame and embarrassing. I wish that I can be that way. And that voice is fantastic. She's lame and embarrassing. The thing is, Lindsay Lohan was cool at one point. Lindsay Lohan was a great actress. The Parent Trap. Freaky Friday.

Confessions of a teenage drama queen. the great movies. I'm probably missing some that people are going to get pissed about and say, I can't believe you missed that one. Mean girls. That's the one. Mean girls. Great movies.

She was cool at one point. Then she was lame and embarrassing. Yeah. And they had such like a friendship in the party girl scene. They were out all the time. And then, you know, Lindsay went cuckoo-cuchoo and that was the end of that. And now she.

Lame and embarrassing. Shout out to Paris Hilton for keeping it together all these years. She has. Because Brittany went cuckoo-coo-c-c-c-choo-choo. so did Lindsay Lohan. Parasulton. Yeah. She stayed Paraselton.

And I could see her being... Same when Nicole Rich. Yeah. Two of them. I could see Parasilton calling Lindsay lame and embarrassing, like out with their friends back in the day. Like, Lindsay, stop. You're being so lame and embarrassing.

Like, I just wish I had footage of this. Oh, man. I feel like now I'm just... It's going to be a goat. Like, what a... What an insult that really cuts to your core? Like, lame and embarrassing. I'm going to start calling people lame and embarrassing.

And if they get mad at me... me, I'm going to be like, no, I'm just, I'm just, it's just a quote. So you can't get mad at me for that. Exactly. She talked about having a possible fallout with Kim Kardashian and whatever. She was like, I think that was just like the media twisting things because she's in my new music video. Shameless plug. Best friend's ass.

And honestly, she's plug for her music video and her song. I think her ass is hot. Yeah. It's like, I need Paras Hilton. to say something of mine is hot in life for me to feel accomplished. Yeah. Like if Paris Hilton can just look me out in the eyes

and be like, that bag is hot. Whatever it is. Whatever it is. Whatever it is. Tell me something is hot. Yeah. Tell me something is hot and I can die happy. Life goal.

Have Paris Hilton tell you that's hot. Yeah. That's definitely a big time life goal. And then she was also asked about Miley Cyrus and if the rumors were true that they one time made out in a club and she said maybe. Maybe.

Maybe. She knows how to keep the people on their toes. She didn't, she didn't deny it. She didn't say yes. And she said maybe. Maybe is totally a yes. Paris Hilton and Miley Cyrus making out is 100% something that happened.

For sure. 100%. You can totally see it happening. Totally. Like Miley would definitely make out of Paris and Paris would definitely make out of Miley. I mean, I would make out of Miley and Paris together. I mean, would you? I totally understand what you're saying.

Maybe not at the same time, but individually sure. If Paris Hilton and Miley and Marley. Miley Cyrus came up to me and they were like, let's start making out the three of us. I'm in. I imagine that story I made out with Parasilton. I just panic in the moment. Really? Oh, 100%.

Oh, my God. No, I would be like Parasilton, Miley Cyrus and Ria have a making out session. Yeah. That's headlines. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's headlines. It's headlines and honestly something that I would be proud of.

I would tell everybody. I made out with both Parasilton and Miley Cyrus. But it would be so funny because the headlines would just be like Paris Hilton and Miley Cyrus make out with blonde in club. Yeah, with random blonde in club. Normie in club. That would be so good. Yeah, it would be so good for us.

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the King Andy Cohen who gets the information out of everybody. and John Mayer thinks that the rumors about Courtney Kardashian and him hooking up started in-house, aka Chris Jenner. Right. It's like they're coming from inside. Yes. Like it's inside. So John Mayer tells the story.

We could put the clip in. Yeah. So he said that it was a quick conversation outside. He was just saying, hey, Courtney Kardashian doesn't want to be in your music video. That's really all that happened. And then from that, it was Courtney Kardashian and John Mayer are hooking up. Courtney Kardashian also went on Ellen DeGeneres, and Ellen played a game of like,

this guy or that, whatever. Yeah, they play like this or that with them men. Yes, and she picked John Mayer every time. So it was feeding into those rumors, but everything leads back to Chris Jenner. 100%. And John made it clear that, you know, Chris has a lot of power.

She's the kind of person that you, like you want to be on her radar. Like you want her to know who you are, but you don't want to be so much on her radar. because she can take you down. Like he realizes the amount of power that she has. She has the power to ruin your career. Chris Jenner has the power to ruin anybody on this earth.

Yes. And she just has probably, you know, her little minions, little birds, whoever she sends to the tabloids who start things and they're like whispering, little birds chirping. Courtney and John. Courtney and John. Do you think that? Just planting it so strategically.

Do you think that Chris Jenner has people that work for her that she knows are snakes so that certain things do get out? And she talks about things on purpose in front of them so that they get out. I feel like that would be a smart move. For sure. I feel like they do, I feel like they probably do the same thing as the Royals. Like the Royals would, this is so not a factual. This is so not a fact. This is something from the Will and Kate Lifetime movie.

This is not a real. It's not real. No, I always think it's real, but it's not. You got the royal and the Will and Kate Lifetime movie. I always feel like it comes from a real story. Like that one time Prince William told this story, but I actually have no idea. Like, I've never fact-checked it myself.

I just know he says it in the movie. All right. That with his friends, he would tell all of his friends, like one crazy weird story. Like if he met a new person, he would say like this random story and he would only tell it to that person. and if that story came out in the news and the tabloids,

he knew that that person was, you know, leaking the stories. That is great. I'm going to start doing that to people. Like, he would just tell like a crazy, like stupid fake fact. And if it came out, I'd be like, well, listen, you're out. If I don't trust. Yes, I would also like to clarify, this is from the Will & Kate Lifetime movie. It could be a real story.

It could not. But I like it. Either way. It's smart either way. Listen, I'm very. Listen, I'm very eerie about like, I'm always like, can't trust that person. But I also am, I also like love talking to people.

So that's my big problem is that like, I'm always like, you can't trust that person, but I also love talking at the same time. I'm going to start throwing out fake stories to people and see what comes back around. Right. I'm going to start testing. Testing people around here. And I feel like that's definitely in Chris Jenner's playbook.

Right. Like when once you hire, like if you're hiring new people and she's bringing new people, and she's bringing new people into their circle to just say something crazy. And if it ends up in us weekly in three days, you know that person needs to be fired. Yeah. Done. You're over with. I love that move. And I think it's a move we should start doing, Fran. Let's start testing people in the office. See who the real snakes are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we'll make up a rumor. I'll actually, you know, I'll make up a rumor about you. And then we'll see if it comes back around.

Yeah. I bet it would. with that. People gossip in here so much. Like crazy. So, Fran, if I have your permission, I'm going to make up a rumor about you. Okay, that's fine. All right, fair. I haven't thought about it yet, but it's going to be something juicy.

Yeah, okay, good. And then we'll follow up with everybody. Great. But John Mayer also clarified that he, like, there was never even any kind of relationship with Courtney Kardashian. Like, nothing. No, there was absolutely nothing. He also said he's, like, post his dating celebrity life.

Like, he thinks he's done dating other celebrities. He always says that. I think John Mayer has no idea what he wants. Noah, you know John Mayer the most. It's like a close personal friend. You've never met John Mayer, but. No, I haven't. But I think he's scared of like going back in the media.

Yeah. Because everyone made him a monster last time. You're right. He's terrified of the media. He says it every time on the Instagram, I was like, this is going to be in the news. And you could tell he says it with like a, you know, like he's joking. Right. But really in the back of his mind, he's scared of it.

So I don't know. I bet that he wouldn't date somebody as high profile as Courtney Kardashian. 100%. Like he would date somebody like Cassie David. Yeah. Not Colby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you.

I got you. A normie. Normie. Cassie David's not a normie. She's not. She's not a normal person not. Not a normie at all, but closer than Courtney Kardashian. Yeah, I mean, she's not a fucking Kardashian.

The Kardashians are. Dating a Kardashian is not. not even like dating a celebrity. It's a whole different level. You're dating an alien. Yeah, it's a whole different level of breach of privacy. This week we had the fifth episode of the final season of Game of Thrones. The end is almost near.

I'm almost, I'm sad at's ending, but I'm almost happy it's ending because I honestly can't take everybody talking about it anymore. Yeah, it's Game of Thrones Twitter has become a very hot topic. and I honestly think Game of Thrones Twitter is ruining the show more than the show's ruining the show. You know, people will say the show's ruining itself. Well, Game of Thrones, Twitter is ruining the show. I agree with that completely. I think that people are diving way too deep into this fake show.

It's fake. Everything is fake. Everybody is diving into it a little too much. And I think you're right. I think that Game of Thrones Twitter is ruining the show because they're pointing out things that I wouldn't even realize. Right. You know, like they're ruined, like the people that are naive like us. Yeah. You know, sometimes we don't catch things, but yet Game of Thrones Twitter is catching everything and then I get mad and that's how it goes.

There's times that I like it and there's times that I immediately go and it just, it's become such a gigantic thing that it's like I watch the show with other people and I don't even immediately interact with them when the show ends to talk about. about the episode, I'm immediately on my phone seeing what other people are saying about it. I'm like, why do I care what other people are saying about it? I had the same problem last night. I watched with a few people and afterwards, we didn't speak. We all just went on our phones.

And I felt weird about it after. Why do I feel so weird right now? Oh, maybe because I haven't spoken in the last hour and a half and now I'm just looking at my phone. Meanwhile, there's people sitting around there. We're just reading about people fighting about Game of Thrones. I got to say, I took a pretty big L last night just from going from the Sixers game into Thrones and then just being like a sad, sad human.

And not that I didn't like the episode. Well, the Sixers lost. Well, yes, because of the Sixers, but why were you sad because of the Game of Thrones? Oh, no, no, I wasn't sad. That's what I was saying. I wasn't really sad about Game of Thrones. I enjoyed the episode.

I really haven't, I haven't finished an episode where I was like, I hated that. But it's because of going immediately on Twitter and then getting myself upset. That's, I agree. Like, when last night. episode ended. I was happy with the episode. I felt the episode was very strong. I couldn't breathe the entire time. I, I, throughout the episode thought I was going to have to stop and say, I got to, I got to go to the hospital and I catch my breath. That's how bad it was at one point.

But then afterwards, when I go online, I'm like, was it that good? Am I exaggerating? But we have to stop thinking that way. We need to go with our initial thoughts. So I'm going to talk about my initial reactions before I went online and read what everybody else was thinking. Yeah. From the beginning, we knew that Danny was turning into the Mad Queen. You could see the evil crazy bitch in her eyes last episode. And then it fully comes out this episode when she realizes that everybody betrayed her. John warned her and said, you know, I have to tell them.

And she said, you can't tell Sanzah. You can't tell Aria. You can't tell anybody. This is between me and you. John didn't follow that. He obviously told them. Sanza then told Tyrion. Tyrion then went told Varus.

And then it just continued. And from there, they betrayed her. So the fact that she went mad, I don't blame her. Like, I don't blame her for going mad. I get it. Like, obviously, you know, just straight up killing people in the blink of an eye shows you have no mercy. But I get it. It makes sense.

It's just everyone, and it's like everyone was so mad that that. was the direction that the writers decided to take her character in, you know? Like it was like that her character deserved more. But like that's not our character. Like we didn't write this character. They can decide what to do with the character. We can love it or hate it. But it's not like she deserved this fantastic ending.

She's been building up to this moment for a long time, I feel. It's not even just this season. It's past seasons. There's endless examples of the crazy showing and having people around her to stifle it, but now all the people around her portrayed her or are dead. Yes, exactly. So she's going crazy. The people that are acting like this came out of nowhere clearly haven't been following the show.

Your dad was the mad king. Obviously, she has it in her blood. She's a product of incest, by the way. So she's going to go crazy. I don't think it's weird at all that that's the, the way they went with her character. I don't get why people think that, I mean, she's a made-up character. What do you mean she deserves better?

Right. Like, that's who she is, actually. She doesn't deserve anything. She's the mad queen now. So there's no, and they said the same thing with Jamie. Jamie deserved better than to run back to Circe. Like, no, Jamie was a freak who loved banging his sister. That's just his character.

The entire time, Jamie has banged his sister. They had plenty of children together. Why is anybody else? acting like Jamie deserved to have a better ending. Yeah. Jamie was a sister banger and that's what it comes down to. They all get close to the throne and then they go nuts. I feel like that's just a theme.

Right. It's happened to almost every character that's gotten close. Yeah. They lose it. They go crazy. They start killing people. I feel like that's almost just a symbol of how the iron. Iron Throne makes you absolutely lose your mind, your sensible mind.

You lose it when you're striving for the Iron Throne. You lose all sense of yourself. That's what happened. She was toast. And even when she took out Varus, she was just like, see ya. Dracarus. So, like, it was just so, like, Dracarus. The way that she said it ever so calmly gave me chills.

Like, I aspire to have that amount of confidence and poise that she had when she just looked him said, Jacaras. That's it. That's it. She didn't scream it. She just said it so calmly. Let the dragon just fire him off.

I personally love that she is. It was almost like a whisper. That's it. And I actually loved it. This episode had everything that I wanted. Obviously, Cersi is dead now, which is the, you know, one of the complaints that I,

I would say I had about this episode was, yes, I'm happy they killed Searcy. That's great. If you've been watching the show, you want her to die, I hope, unless you're on the other side of it where you've been rooting for her and that's crazy. But we wanted her to die. But we wanted to see Searcy die a slow, painful death, like get her throat slit. I wanted to see Searcy get her head chopped off. Her head lying on the ground with blood pouring out. Would a love to see that. But we just saw the building collapsing on her with Jamie in kind a vulnerable moment, which people didn't like to see that from Searcy because, you know, she's this powerful, bad person that she knows how to manipulate people.

But every person who is a powerful figure like that, there's some sort of insecurity on the inside that's going to come out eventually and they're going to crack. And that's what happened with Searcy. She was crying in Jamie's arms like, I don't want to die. I don't want to die. So in the end, she was just as scared as everybody else. Right. And they went with like the very, you know, poetic Jessica.

of the red keep falling on top of her. She said multiple times that, you know, the red keep wouldn't fall, wouldn't fall. Well, it fell and it fell directly on top of you and now you're dead. Right. Would we have liked to see something a little more gory? Perhaps. But. Definitely.

Not perhaps. For sure. Tommy smokes actually blogged about this episode. I enjoyed the blog because he's defending the episode. And he's like, look, Cersie is one of the most hated. television characters. What better way for her to go out than everybody hate the way she dies. Yeah, I get that because everybody is hating the way that she died. But we couldn't even get a moment like, yes, we love the way she died.

No, we hated the way she died. We just hate everything about her. But I really would have loved to see her head get chopped off. Like, we saw Ned Stark get his head chopped off. We saw cat get her head chopped off. We saw basically all of the Starks get their heads chopped off, but we couldn't see Searcy die a painful death, like Joffrey and Ramsey, all of them. We actually got to see them die. With her, it was kind of like, boom, falls on her. Maybe they wanted to throw something else into the mix

since just everybody was just getting absolutely visually slaughtered. Like, visually, it was so gory. Right. And just blood and guts and brains and heads squishing. But it's been worse than it was in that episode. Like it has been, we've seen worse than then they gave us, but I did love all of it. Visually, I think it was so good. I think separately, yes, but I don't think we've seen it all together like that in one episode.

I mean, Battle of the Bastards. Yeah, but what, throw, like, the Mowin into the mix and everything, like, I just feel like combined. I think Battle of the Bastards was probably the most, but I guess this one had, you're right, this one had everything. We had the hound in the mountain. And it was like children. Yeah, we had the hound in the mountain finally. This is my favorite. I was my favorite part of the episode.

Battle it out. I felt as if when it was happening kind of knew where they were going with it. You know, because they both couldn't kill each other. It was like a back and forth constantly. The mountain, hard motherfucker to kill. Like really hard to kill. I was just a zombie. He's just straight up a zombie.

He's very hard to kill. And then the hound just tackles him into the fire. perfect way to send them off. Yeah, it was beautiful in that they had to go down together in order for either one of them to die. The mountain squishing, just

hitting a Khyburn's head or whatever the fuck that's weasily guy is against the, you know, loved that. He took him and threw him to the bricks. He made, like he made him like that. Like he made the mountain like that and he was like, well, I literally do not give a fuck about you anymore. Like, the city is falling.

You can die now. Yeah. Squished him. Loved it. I love that part. We also got to talk about our girl, Aria, who somehow survived this episode. People were saying it's plot armor. Obviously, it was written that she survives it.

Well, yeah, of course. Because realistically, she would not have survived that. This is a real life we're talking. She wouldn't have survived that. But that's the beauty of the TV show is that she did survive it, making her the baddest bitch of the Seven Kingdom. She gets through everything. Yeah. She just makes out.

alive on this one. And then there's the white horse at the end, which symbolizes something. People are trying to explain it all over the internet. We're diving into the Bible. Yeah, we're getting into the Bible now. I'm just going to wait and see what happens next week because I can't tell you what that horse means. Some people thought it was Brand. Some people think it's Brand. Some people think it's death riding on a pale horse, whatever that means. I don't know. It's going to mean something next episode. I fucking hope so because we're getting Jack's shit from Bran. And there's one episode left and I'm going to need something from that kid.

I'm going to need something from Brand because I didn't sit and watch Bran sit in a wheelchair all episode for no reason. You have to give us something. That's the only thing that I think will legitimately make me mad. There hasn't been a lot. But if that, if this show ends and there's just nothing, like he just plays no role whatsoever. We get no explanation. That's really going to piss me off.

They can't be that dumb. If the writers are dumb enough to not include a brand in the ending, then we have a problem. But I don't think they're going to be that dumb. I think that now everybody's going to be against Danny because the bell rang. She was supposed to stop. She wasn't supposed to kill any more people. She said, fuck this. I'm killing everybody.

She went nuts. She just wrote that dragon through the entire Kings Landing and killed everybody. She was just trying to kill everybody. And there was a lot of conversation about the dragons. Well, how come they were able to take out a dragon last week and she just fucks up all the weapons this week. I think she was just totally taken by surprise last week. And now she went in with this past episode

with some kind of an idea of how they work and seeing them work and realizing how slow they are. Like you shoot a shot, but it takes a while to reload. Obviously, that makes you very very. very vulnerable. She exploited that. Wipes out the Iron Fleet. And this is the same thing with the plot protection, whatever. I was so psyched to see Yaron go up in flames. And to see that guy climb onto the beach. I was like, you gotta be fucking kidding me. Nobody from the Iron Fleet is alive except for Yaron climbing onto the beach just at the perfect time to kill Jamie. When that fucking

pirate came out of the water, I hate that guy. It's honestly becoming a problem that Sean Latham and him look alike. So much. Sean Latham now is so close to us at our desk. I'm like, fuck you, Sean Latham. But meanwhile, he's not him, but I can't separate the two. I'm having a hard time separating Yoran and Sean Latham. He pisses me off.

And this motherfucker comes out of the water. Like nothing happened. Like he didn't get shot in the face with Dragon Fire. Just, oh, like his stupid face. He might piss me off the most out of everybody on the show. And then him and James. are going back and forth, they're having this battle. Jamie gets stabbed so many times.

Multiple times. Yaron gets stabbed once and dies. Jamie gets stabbed multiple times and walks off. Like, he's immune to getting stabbed. That also bothered me. And after the first stab, I thought Jamie was going down. And that, if you're, like, I sat on my couch and said out loud, if Yuron just killed Jamie, I'm going to be so mad.

Like if that's how Jamie Lannister dies by getting stabbed by Yaron, and be so, so angry. Clearly, Uron is a bad kit. Like, maybe he's just a bad with the sword. Missed all the vital organs multiple times. I don't know how Jamie made it through. I mean, he was going to die anyway, so I guess they wanted him to die with Circe.

I feel like they could have eliminated one of the stabbings. Exactly. They could have eliminated at least one of the stabbing. And they could have had Yuron and Jamie, like fight in front of Searcy so that it would have been more realistic for Jamie to die with Searcy because he wouldn't have had to travel. You know, he had to walk all of that way. How did he do it?

Could have been more of like a battle for the baby. Right. Like whose baby is it? Yeah, yeah. Whatever. He made it through. Uron's face when he's like, I'm the man who killed Jamie Lannister. Ew.

Get out of you. I wanted to puke on my TV screen. It actually gave me nightmares. It gave me nightmares. He like, that character did not deserve like a last. line ending. No. He should have just gone up in flames with the Iron Fleet and that would have been the end of it.

I thought he was gone. I was like, bam, done. Peace. Bye, Yaron. We don't, I don't feel like Yaron deserved a proper goodbye. Like, we should. 100% not. He already got to kill one of the dragons.

Now we're giving him a goodbye. Get out of here. He's gross. He's like, I fuck the clean. I'm just like, uh, you're gross. You're gross. Yeah. But now next week, obviously, season,

finale. There's nothing left after next week, which is the craziest part about it to me, because each week we're like, you know, there's more, there's more, there's more. Yeah. Well, you know what? This is going to be it. We're going to have to accept it. Kit Harrington, he said it was disappointing, which doesn't make anybody excited for the end of the show. I think somebody's going to have to kill Danny. I think it's written in the stars. I think that Dineris is dead. I feel like it's got to be John. I think that what's going to happen is Danny is going to try and kill Sonsa now because she mentioned your. You're sister betrayed me.

And obviously she killed Varis who betrayed her. I think she's going to go kill Sansa and then John's going to have to stop Danny from killing Sansa and then try and kill her. Or Aria is going to have to kill her. Either way, I think she's dead. But let's see some, let's see her head get chopped off. Like, we need to. Danny?

Danny, we're going to need to see a brutal death from Danny. Probably. We have to. I wouldn't see them going soft at this point. No. When it comes to a Targaryian death. But it's crazy because, like you said, it is ending. Danny and John had a moment in this past episode also that you thought maybe there would be a sliver of hope for her.

Which is interesting because it's like classic that of all shows, like Game of Thrones, which has a bit always been very relationship-based, but having John kind of reject her being the last straw here was crazy. It was she, Dan, you just wanted a little sex and John was like, absolutely, like, no. He kind of backed off. And the rejection, she couldn't take the rejection any longer. So she snapped.

I think, I don't think that it's that great. I think it makes sense. I think she was like, this person's dead. This person betrayed me. And now the guy that I love, he loves me. And he betrayed me. And now he won't have sex with me. He wants nothing to do with me.

Like, what do I have to live for? She's like, I don't, like, the people of Winterfell are not mine. My people are gone. What does she have? So she's like, fuck this. I'm queen. I'm taking over. I'm killing everybody.

I don't think she's going to win in the end. I think it's going to be a win for the Starks. They'll come out on top. and I think she's dead. There was a moment, though, I forgot to mention, when Aria and the Hound, I thought they were going to die at the same time last night in the episode. I would have needed extensive therapy for that. If they died at the same time, now that would have been something.

The fact that Aria is still alive, something has to happen with her. There's no reason for her to still be roaming around. That battle if she doesn't have a purpose in the last episode. In the last episode, you're right. And Tyrion and Jamie had a very nice goodbye. That was another, between that. Total opposites on the spectrum here. Between that, which was like a nice moment and the hound in the mountain.

But that was, it was a nice ending to their relationship. I felt like once that happened, I was like, all right, one of these guys is definitely dying this episode. How dumb is Tyrion, though? We didn't talk about how dumb Tyrion is. Tyrion really thought that he was going to free Jamie and Jamie wasn't going to go to Circe. He, oh, oh, at the beginning, like, from the beginning. I mean, Tyrion is the one who freed Jamie.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Tyrion really thought when he was letting Jamie go there that he was going to actually go run off and not go back to Searcy. Like how... He did go back to Searcy. No, I'm saying Tyrion, he was telling Tyrion he wasn't going to go do that. Oh. Like, how dumb is Tyrion to think he wasn't going to go do that?

Like, Tyrion actually believed Jamie wasn't going to go back to Searcy? Right. Well, Tyrion wanted him to go back to Searcy. Like, Tyrion was like, go get, go get her, go ring the bell, and then get on the boat and go have your life with your baby. Okay. Okay. See, that's what I was confused about. But I still don't, like, how dumb are you for doing that?

Yeah. Like, you, I just, yeah, I think it's just like that was his last effort to try and save, like, first, to try and get them to surrender. I think he hoped that if they did surrender, DeNaris would pull back. But why would he ever think that Danny would be like, oh, yes, Tyrian, I'm so happy that you freed your brother to go run off with Circe and that she's still alive.

Like, has he not seen a pattern here? That was dumb of Tyrion. Very dumb. Right. And I guess maybe it was like a now problem. Like let's go after Circe and Jamie later. let's save all these people now. At this point it doesn't even matter because they're both dead.

So it's not like Danny will know. Well, when she goes back and he sees he's not there. He's dead. So it doesn't even matter. Yeah. And there's been people, and this is why Game of Thrones Twitter also has been so crazy is because everybody freaks out on like the little things. He had the coffee cup.

And now Jamie had a moment where like his literal last moments hugging Circe. and you could see, like, they didn't keep his fake hand on. You could see his real hand. It was like, really? Yeah, it's one of those things that I would. It just makes it all rushed. Yes. It feels rushed.

It feels rushed. But I also wouldn't have noticed that if I didn't look on Twitter. Yeah. Oh, I didn't notice watching the episode. That's the thing. I didn't notice it. And then you see it and you're like, oh, man, they rushed it. But I kind of think that it's being put in people's heads.

You know, when you read something enough, you start to believe it. Yeah. I think it's being put into people's heads that this is bad season and bad writing and whatnot. But I think that if I was just watching this season straight through like I did with the other seasons, I would have been like, I would have been like, this is how the show went. That's it. This is how they wrote the show. Because looking back on past seasons, I'm not watching them being like, well, I wish they did this with that character. It is what it is.

What happened happened. This season is so different from the rest. but I'm not going to sit here and say it's bad. Right. It's not a bad season. It's just what they decided to do with it. Right, which people don't. And people like or don't like?

Some people like it. When you don't like it, you say it's bad. All of it is very opinionated. Like, you could think it's bad and you could love it, but everything comes from your personal interest of the show. Right. So whatever you like to see from the show is where you're going to stand on it. Because visually it was insane.

And like an insane episode of television. The directing and the visuals and everything about it. It was crazy good. It was one of the best made TV show episodes strictly from the directing and the visuals. Because when have you ever watched a TV show that look that way? That's a movie. That looked like a movie. So I give them that credit.

Like people are saying it's rushed and whatnot. Like how do you create such a visually. stunning episode and not have it be rushed. I think where the rushing comes in is when it comes to the writing. Because realistically, there really wasn't a lot of dialogue in last night's episode. Yeah. And it is, it's, it is a little disappointing to hear that HBO offered them two more episodes and they were like, now we're good with six.

I think they offer 10. They were like, do 10. They said no. Yeah. So that's crazy. That's kind of crazy to me. just like that maybe they don't really have anybody in their corner giving them critiques. You know, I feel like they're so worshipped that whatever they produced, maybe nobody asked

any questions. I mean, I don't know about that. A lot of people, here's my problem. A lot of people trash the writers and whatnot, but like you try and write a better ending. Everybody acts like they would write the best show on earth. Yeah. they are the people who wrote the show or obviously it came from somewhere else first but like you everybody thinks that they can be a better writer like they're the writers of the show just

let them write the show that's where my problem comes in like don't say that they're trash writers and this not the other thing when you're not a writer yeah it's it's hard because they I mean they can there was so much inspiration for them to work off of what the books and then they didn't have the books to work off of any more. And then that's when things took a turn. Yeah. But I do think they should have, I don't understand why they didn't. They've got some direction from Georgia or Martin.

Yeah. I don't understand why they didn't take the extra episodes and create more because they could have created a longer story. They just didn't want to do that. But when people call them trash writers and this, that, the other thing, like, no, they're not. They have one of the best TV shows ever. Yeah.

It's so hard. It's just any time you take something that originated as a book and you put. it to film, make it visual, and you have the books and you stick to the books and everybody is always happy about that. But if the books end or if you stray from the books and you try and keep it going, it's always going to make people upset always. That's why the classic argument of like, oh, was the book better than the movie? Like happens all the time. Right. Because you're never going to get a perfect translation from book to movie. TV show or whatever, especially when the books aren't even done.

Listen, it's not the writer's fault that the books aren't done. Right. You know, like George R. Martin's just, he hasn't finished. He slacked. He didn't finish the books. That's his fault. He could have finished it. He could have written the ending.

Everyone's like, I can't wait for his ending. Like, you know, maybe he could have written that ending years ago then because this was their ending. Their ending came out first. And that's that. I would assume that he would have something similar because it would be so insane for them to end the show pre-book, pre-books, and then having the storyline wrap up in the books and just be completely different than what the TV show did. But we'll see. I don't know.

If he'll ever, if he'll even ever finish it. Yeah, I mean, at this point, why even finish it? It's like the show is going to end. Yeah. You know, people will read your books, but it's kind of weird to have two different endings to the same characters. I don't really want that, to be honest. I'm sure the people who are reading the books or read the books want that. But I personally don't want to hear different endings because if his ending in the book is better, we're like, why didn't they just do that in the TV show? Yeah. Yeah. So we'll see. Next week is the finale. This is it. And this is it. We were wiping our hands clean of Game of Thrones. Whatever happens happens the way it ends, it will end and it will fade. And it's a TV show. So we'll get through it, but we might need some

therapy after. Yeah, especially for some in the office. Yeah, some people. It might, like, there might need to be like a group mediator. Yeah, we're going to come in next Monday. Just be ready in one of the rooms. Just to talk to everybody just about the ending of Game of Thrones. Exactly. Lisa knows how important rest is to a better life. Lisa is the foundation of a healthier, better you. All Lisa products have been thoroughly designed to go beyond creating a comfortable bed and to transform your bedroom into a sanctuary you want to spend time in. Lisa's most popular multi-layer foam mattress is made with premium foams for cooling, contouring, and pressure-relieving support. Lisa believes all people should have access to deep rest and relaxation. They make it easy for

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But the season premiere was Monday night. And you know the first episode how it goes. It's two hours of just getting introduced to the guys. Right. And there's a lot of that. I always love the intros. The intros I love, but it's hard to keep up with for me. They move fast.

I have to go back and watch again. They move fast. And I can't tell you anybody's names besides the people I hate. Okay, that's fine. We'll go through all the guys and I'll remind you who everybody is. Okay, perfect. Because now I feel like I just have, like, I have a, like, just a database, like, in my head now. Right.

Because I contestant. After we went through the contestant bios. Yeah. You know their names. in their bios, but not what they look like. Yeah, I didn't know really who they were. And then when they come on the screen, I'm like, every Bachelor and Bachelorette introduction is so cheesy to me

that I hate them all at first because the introductions are so cheesy. Yeah. I actually have to say, I was pretty impressed by most of these guys. A lot of them were just pretty basic. Like they just came in and were like so happy it's you, really excited, blah, blah, blah, and then went inside. Yeah. Like there wasn't that many crazy jokes or puns or, I mean, there were that they had them, but it wasn't like every single person. But we started off with Hannah finding out she was a bachelor.

We've seen that clip before. Chris Harrison calls her up. She's so happy. And she heads to the mansion. She's ready to go. Night one. I thought it was actually very funny. She said that, like, I hope this guy can, like, I hope I find a guy who can handle me because

I'm a lot. Yeah, I like that because it was honest. And I think that's how my one problem is, that's how every girl is. Like, everyone's like, I'm so much. Like, I'm so hard to deal with. You know, like, I feel like there's a lot of girls that don't think that. Really? That think that they're, like, just a.

walk in a park. Really? I always feel like on social media nowadays, girls are always like, oh my God, I'm so psycho. I'm so hard to deal with. Like all the time. Nobody's ever just like, well, I don't know. I guess maybe you see everybody saying maybe in real life. Like instead of like, oh, not like a social media like, ha ha, I'm so funny and quirky and silly. No. In real life, if we were on a date, I'd be like, oh, no, I'm super easy. Yeah, exactly. I'm not going to look at you in the eye in real life and say, I'm a psychopath. first date and you tell the guy like, oh my God, I'm so easy going. You go with the flow. Like, you're not like, I'm crazy.

Yeah, yeah. But on social media, you're saying, oh, I'm a crazy bitch. Like, there's two different personas. So I do get it. Hanna B was quite honest. She was like, I'm a lot to handle, which we've seen. We've seen from Hanna B. She is a lot to handle. She's got the, you know, like she's a little weird, but she's fun. And I saw of Hanna B. I saw a side of Hanna B that I didn't expect to see. And I think it's going to be a good season. And my opinion, I'm not just saying that because we're interviewing her, my opinion has changed since night one. I agree. And it's so much, it's so different when you're put in that bachelor or bachelorette role and it just becomes your show.

You become less of a character that production can kind of manipulate, you know, like they want to showcase you. so now they're doing that with Hannah and obviously it makes her look the best that she can fresh out of the limo I feel like we should just go down the list of the men. Like we did with the bios, but let's go through their introductions.

The first guy out of the limo was Garrett. Garrett is the golf pro from Birmingham, Alabama. Super cute. Like I thought he was way cuter on the screen than he is in his picture. which I think happens with a lot of them. Even the girls on The Bachelor.

Totally. The Bachelor and Bachelorette headshots are notoriously bad. Yeah. Like nobody really has an amazing headshot. So obviously he was a golf pro. He had like a hole in one joke ready to go. Fine, I'll let it pass. Whatever.

And then we know that you're going with that because you're the golf guy. He's fine. There's so much. I feel like there's definitely going to be a lot in common for these two. so we'll see what happens, but we didn't really get to see a lot of him because he just didn't get a lot of airtime. Yeah, and he is from Alabama, so. Yeah, that's a big factor. Mike was next.

Mike has one of the best smiles. He had a video package where he had to go say goodbye to his great grandmother before he went on the show. Super cute. Nothing like seeing a guy love his grandma, not only his grandma, but his great grandma. And that's how you reel in the viewers. That's how you get Bachelor Nation behind you. You put a great grandma on the screen. You put a grandma on the screen.

You put your mom on the screen. People love moms and grandmas. And that's what they're going to get attached to. And they're going to tear up. They're going to feel emotional for you. And they're going to say, oh, isn't it so sweet that he said goodbye to his great grandmother? Because realistically, let's be honest, who's going out of their way to say goodbye to their great grandma? Like grandma, yes.

Great grandma? Look, I don't want to take it in this direction, but your great grandma's probably pretty old. You don't know how long you're going to be on the show. You probably want to say goodbye just in case. I didn't think of it like that, but you're right. You're so right. Great grandma's pretty old. When you say the name great grandma, you're picturing like a 90-plus year old woman.

Yes. That may not be the case, but that's what you're. picturing. Mike's great-grandmother could be in fantastic health, but, you know, just to cover all the bases, make sure you say goodbye before you leave where you cannot be in contact with your family. You're right. That's a great point, Brad. Just in case. Just in case. Okay, Jed was up next. Jed. I just hate the name Jed. Sorry, sorry if you're listening, your name is Jed. I hate the name. Yeah, I don't really like it either. I think it's a stupid name. Just name Jeff. He just looks like a Jed too. Yeah.

And he's 25. He's a singer-songwriter. We talked about him, and we said it before. I'm weary of the singer-songwriters just because I feel like they're on for fame. What do we get? First chance he's alone with Hannah. He's singing a song. He's pretty good.

There was just far too much singing and, like, dancing. Yeah. But I don't hate. using your talents to win you a spot on the show. You know, you have to stick around somehow. It's the first night. It's a first impression. You have to make a first impression.

If you come in there and you don't do anything, you know, you're being tossed. You're being tossed. He comes in singing. There's a little something there. Yeah, and he was good. Like, you play the guitar, wrote Hannah a little song. It was good, very charming. I think it's very easy to fall for that.

that. Like you have a guy sing a song about you and you just swooned. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Anybody sits in front of you and says, hey, I wrote the song about you. Totally. You know it works? Yeah. In my recap blog, I try to find every guy's Instagram so everybody could stock. Jed has a private Instagram. However, he does have his latest single linked in his bio in case anybody wants to listen. Oh, thank you so much for telling everybody. It's in his Spotify. Like he's got, you know, look him up on Spotify. It's in his. bio on his Instagram. So are you like now promoting, Jed?

No, I'm just saying, just think about that, you know, just think about that. The guy's got a private Instagram, but he makes sure that he's, you know, he's, they could all be linked together. He ends up on the show. Maybe his single takes off. It's a win-win for him. Huh. You're right.

All right. Who's next? Tyler C. Tyler C is causing a stir among you and Kelly Geeks. And I. Tyler C is really just me. Me and Kelly Kieg's like Conor S. Oh, Conor S.

Okay. You're a love in Tyler C. I like Tyler C a lot. He also has a private Instagram, but it's worth looking at because he has like a model headshot for his profile photo. He's a general contractor and he danced in his video package around his construction site. Very goofy, like footloose-esque but bad. Yeah.

And it was weird because I don't know if it was just based on the fact that I think he's super cute And that's why he's going to make it far Because he really didn't make a great first impression He was either very drunk or just very nervous He talked and stumbled over his words like meeting Hannah And I was like, oh no, you're you're totally messing it up But he's just so cute that I feel like Hannah wasn't going to send him home night one Exactly when you have the cuteness

When you fuck up with your words You skate by which is why I think he obviously made it through night one. I think that as time comes on, we'll see a little more from him and maybe he won't be whatever it was happening with him. The cuteness will shine. Definitely. Well, we'll get to it at the end,

but when you see like the season upcoming on this season, there was a lot of clips of him. So I feel like he's sticking around for a while. I have a huge problem with the upcoming. All right, we'll talk about it. We'll talk about the end. I have a huge problem with it every time. We'll get to it.

All right, the next guy is Dylan. Dylan is 24 years old tech entrepreneur. I had a sweet opening, was just like, you're so pretty. Can't wait to talk to you. However, the jacket he wore, not good. He looked like a major D. I'll give you a quick turn so you can have a reminder. The white jacket with the black bow tie, you look like you're the Mader D at a very nice restaurant.

Agreed. I don't think that's the outfit you go to where to wear to make a first impression. but once again, it does make a first impression. You know, it does make you stand out. You're the white jacket guy. Yeah, you're the one who showed up looking like you were a waiter at an event. Correct. But it makes you stand out. Okay.

Then we have Connor S. Who honestly, if Kelly Keex doesn't slide into his DMs by the end of the season, I'll be shocked. I mean, I'll be shocked if you don't. Both of you. Keep it in your pants, Fran. No, I'm kidding. I love it. I love that you guys are all.

all about Conor S. I am not as into Conor S as you guys, but that's fine. He's very me and Kelly Keyes type. Yeah, he is. I feel like you guys do have the same type. Works in finance. Yeah. Yeah, you guys have the same type going for you.

He's also very close in age 24. He met Hannah during the final row, so she had already known him. He jumped the fence for Hannah. You cannot shake your head faster. And it's so funny, and it must just be because I think Connor's so cute that I was like, oh, cute. See, this is the thing. It's, I get it. It's cute.

I get the joke. Ha, ha, I'm going to jump a fence for you. But can we stop with the fence jumping? Let's stop with the fence jumping. We heard it. The thing is, like, we heard it way too much during, I was going to call him Connor season, during Colton's season that I can't hear about fences anyway. longer. We were months. Months

were talking about this damn fence. So now we're back to talking about the fence. Enough with with the fences. Enough with the fences. I'm just going to throw in there that he jumped that fence swimmingly. It was a very smooth jump. And it was, it's like the gate. You know, the mansion gate.

Jump right over it. No big deal. Franz Lovin' telling your ass. I am. I am. And for no particular reason whatsoever, you should check out his Instagram. Okay. For no particular reason, I will be checking out his Instagram. He may or may not have some shirtless photos. Yeah.

Oh, oh, Fran, I've seen him. Yeah, I sent it to you. Yeah. We can't sit here and act like you were not sending me these pictures because you were. And yeah, he looks great. You know he looks like a swimmer? He does. He looks like a swimmer.

Well, I think he was a college athlete. And I think he was a college swimmer, then I nailed it on the head. I think he was in his bio. I want to. I forget. We definitely talked about it. Like, I think it's in his ABC bio. Okay, look at him now because now.

because now I need to know. All right, we'll do a quick look. Connor S. Connor S was a college swimmer. If he's a college swimmer, you owe me five bucks. I don't owe you five bucks because we already talked about it. It's in his bio. I definitely mentioned it out loud.

I'm just trying to make a quick book, Fran. He swam competitively in college. So yes, your inkling that he swam in college was because last week I read out loud that he swam in college. I'm like, he must be a swimmer. That guy looks just like a college swimmer. Well, funny. that we talked about it last week. Isn't that crazy how your brain works? Like some, like

things get incepted into your brain and I genuinely was like, I think he looks like a swimmer but really you told me he was a swimmer last week. All right, moving on. All right, Devin is the 27 year old talent manager who is the one that's is friends with Will's. Yes.

He made a virgin joke that one it didn't land for me. He went up there and was like I have something to tell you. I'm actually a virgin ha ha ha just kidding i'm not virgin and she was like oh okay yeah this is the thing bad joke as soon as that comes out of his mouth get him off the show because if that guy is slinging those bad jokes around the first night imagine how many more bad jokes this guy has up his sleeve like every five seconds he's gonna be like ha ha i'm doing this just kidding like he's a he's a very

big just kidding guy yeah i'm a just kidding girl like i'm very much to Just Kidding Girl. But this guy with the, I'm a virgin joke right out the gates, no. Yeah. Just a big no for me. I also was not a fan of his tie. Just going to say that. I didn't really take notice to his tie.

His tie was, was a bad pattern. It's just a bad pattern. Can you explain the tie? It was. To people listening and myself because I don't remember. I'm trying to explain it in the best way that I can. What shapes were on it? Geometric, but there were.

was fading shapes and it was like pink and purple and this video is playing if you can like kind of see it. I'll play it from the beginning. Take a look of him walking up. You can't really tell the colors. But it was just an ugly tie. That's an ugly tie. It's an ugly tie. I agree. It's an ugly tie. Yeah. Ugly tie. All right. Moving on from ugly tie guy. Doesn't matter what it looks like it was an ugly tie. Yep. John Paul Jones came up next. Listen, we don't even have to introduce John Paul Jones because I'm pretty sure everybody knows John Paul Jones. John Paul Jones is my enemy. I hate John Paul Jones. He could be the nicest guy on earth. He could be like, I'm saving the world. I'm curing cancer. I'm saving everybody on this

entire planet. Yeah. No, no. I hate John Paul Jones. My biggest problem with John Paul Jones is that this girl that I used to go to high school with posted John Paul Jones on her story because he went to Catholic you and she was like oh my god our savior and John Paul Jones what wow I wonder if I had any DC run-ins with John Paul Jones we're the same age he I've he I've met so many versions of John Paul Jones I thought you're about to say I met so many I thought I met so many virgins no no version version version no now I'm saying what am I trying to say versions versus I met so many virgins So many versions of John Paul Jones, like the long blonde hair from Maryland, whatever. Humble brag, not a brag.

I'm just saying there's so many of these people in this area. John Paul Jones introduced himself as John Paul Jones, as his friends call him John Paul Jones, and that Hannah can call him John Paul Jones. That is why I hate him. If you tell me what to call you and you say you have to call me this, then I hate you. Like, if that guy introduces himself to me and he says, hi, I'm John Paul Jones. And he doesn't say anything else. I'm going to start calling him John.

Right. That's the way it goes. I'm going to call him JPJ or I'm going to call him John. I will not be calling him John Paul Jones. He's going to have a hard time finding a girlfriend if he expects everybody to call him John Paul Jones. Yeah. Imagine having sex with John Paul Jones.

and you're yelling out his name, John Paul Jones, that's just too much. I'm really hoping it's like a schick. I hope so, but I don't know. And his friends don't actually call him John Paul Jones. Maybe they call him JP or something. JP is nice. JPJ.

The extra J is even too much. Like, cut it down to either two initials or just John. Right. Trent, Trent nailed it by saying that this guy is an alien where humans can't, which was so funny. because just the way he talked, you were like, maybe he is an alien. Like when he accepted Hannah's rose and was like, with gratitude. I was like, what planet are you from? He's from Planet Catholic University.

Like, that's what happens over there. You know? That's what it is. He's like with gratitude. Yeah. I was shocked you didn't say, and with your spirit. Like, I was astonished. So true.

So true. Okay. So John Paul. Okay. Then we have Brian. Brian was the math teacher He came out like all over the place So much enthusiasm

Fumbled over his words Then he had this nervous laugh He totally shit the bed on his entrance And that that Sucked for him because he was sent home Yeah like we don't even have to talk about Brian Because he's useless now He screwed his entrance

And I really think that was it Hannah was just like whoa take it easy And that's And that was the end of Brayon Ryan. That's why I like Hannah on this season now after watching the first episode was because she is a lot more vocal and honest than I thought she would be. Like she straight up like, no, get off the show. Yeah. To people she doesn't like. Right. Which leads us to Scott. Scott was the next guy to come out of the limo. Scott. Scott. Scott. So he came out, was sweet in his entrance. He pulled Hannah aside. He did like a little interior. design thing with her and pretended that he didn't know

that she did interior design but then went into the house and was like yeah we did some interior design I know she's into that stuff like it was just it was so gross it was very it honestly made me like get secondhand embarrassment he was a little sketch

and that could have something to do with with the haircut not a big fan of the hair cut I don't Yeah, yeah. I don't want, I don't want Jared to take offense to this, but they kind of have similar, you know? Okay, well, let's just make sure the rocket himself does not hear that because we just said terrible haircut. Well, Jared's hair works with his beard. Like, Scott doesn't have the full beard situation, so the whole look isn't complete.

It looks like, it's like good on the top, a bad on the bottom. Like, the combination doesn't work. Yeah. And Scott's hair is, like, way more spiky, too. Yes. Let's talk about Scott what happened with Scott. Yeah. Scott came on the show, The Bachelorette.

I don't know what day of the week they were filming. But on Monday. But on Monday. Scott had another girl at home. And Demi found out about it because somebody tweeted to her, you know, which was happening all, like all leading up to the new season of The Bachelorette. A lot of people were tweeting at Demi, like about multiple guys on the show. Well, I feel like this was all.

a plot by ABC, right? So it's like this was their way to get the social media people to vet the contestants when they released all the names and pictures like weeks ago. And then the people that were kind of problematic didn't even make the cut for the show. Like those guys didn't even make the cut. And now it seems like Demi, maybe Demi knew she was going to be making this appearance. Because I remember her tweeting out, like, what's the tea on these guys? Does anybody have info?

and she got the info and she was on the lookout. She was on the lookout for sure. And what she found was that Scott had a quote-unquote girlfriend at home that he was seeing up until Monday, whatever day of the week it was. I'm going to say it was like Thursday. Yeah. Whatever. It was the same week because they're saying Monday. Right.

On Monday, he was texting another girl. Like wait for me to come home. Yeah, wait for me to come home. He was using her as a backup. Listen, you got a lie. I don't care if you had that girlfriend at home, which is honestly like, okay, it's fucked up, but it's also the bachelor and bachelorette where they're dating multiple people at once. And like, you know, sometimes you may have been talking to somebody at home and then you're like, well, I'm going on the bachelor. Right.

I'm going on the bachelor's right. So see you. I'm sure it happens all the time too. Like maybe you don't have to necessarily be full-blown girlfriend and boyfriend, but you might be hooking up with somebody and you are hooking up with them until you leave. Like you're like, all right, well, me and you don't have a future because this has been fun, but I'm going on the Bachelor. Exactly. It's not like you, you know, if you were in talks and going to the bachelor, right, you're not going to stop talking. You're not going to stop hooking up with people in the meantime, I don't think. Like, you're not going to save yourself for Hannah B. I don't think. Right. I feel like most people aren't banking that they're coming out of the show engaged. Right, right, right. I think the problem here was that he was basically saying he was using it as a backup and that he was just keeping her on the side. And he was not. He sucked. He sucked at his explanation. It's like if he, if he. If he sat down and he said, Hannah, listen. Yes, I was talking to somebody before I got here, but I'm all in on you.

That person was in the past. You know, I didn't know what was going to happen here, but they're done. They're at home. I'm here for you. He didn't say any of that. He was like, well, yeah, I mean, yeah. Yeah, she's not my girlfriend, but like, okay, buddy, maybe you would have a shot if you had a better explanation. But, like, send his ass home.

Demi had the receipts. As soon as the receipts came out and he had a horrible explanation, I said, get him off the show. We don't need this guy here. The worst thing this guy did was then try and spin it on, like back on Hannah. Like, you're not going to win by now, like, shaming Hannah. Yes. Like, Hannah, it's basically the same situation you were just dating Colton. Like, you were just madly in love with Colton and now you're here.

Buddy, those are two very different situations. There are different things. I understand his point, but you don't get to make a point when you're the one competing on the show. Like Hannah B could make all the points she wants because she's the Bachelorette. She's in charge here. She's the ringleader. When you're a contestant on the show, you keep your mouth shut. You don't come back at The Bachelorette and say you were in love of Colton.

Right. But get off the show because you clearly don't get the point. If you're trying to save your spot on the show, you're not going to start insulting the Bachelorette. No, no. Like that was, he needed to start groveling. was not grovelling. But credit to Demi and Katie, who just kind of sat in a sketchy white van in the driveway and watched these guys.

Because Demi, Demi just continues to be my favorite. She was cracking me up the whole time. Like, Katie's like, oh, he's cute. Oh, he's cute. Demi's like, no, don't like him. No, not my type. Nope. That's why I love Demi.

Just like shitting on the guys. That's why I love Demi. Because she's honest. And I agree with her a lot of the times. I also love how positive she is also. like she shits on people and she's honest but she also is so positive and is just always trying to make people

happy I feel like but at the same time shits on people I also love her because I think that she is the best quote unquote villain to come out of any bachelor season because she's not necessarily a villain she's not a villain like people wanted

her to be the villain but really she turned out to be super likable maybe the most likable girl that came out of that season. Totally. And I liked the way I liked the way that Hannah handled Scott. Like once she realized like this is useless, she was just like, get the fuck out of here. Like she dragged his ass to, she was like, let's go Scott. Hurry up. Let's go. You're out the door. Let's go. Get out of here. And she was like, come on. Yeah. He wouldn't walk and she was like, come on.

She was like, bye. Precious minutes here. And I respected Hannah B. So much in that moment. I was like, wow, that's a bad bitch. Good for I didn't know she had that in her, but then she started to cry after. And I'm like, you met this guy for two seconds. You didn't know this guy. There's no reason to cry. Just the emotions are so high, though, in the moment. I get it.

The emotions are high. I'm speaking out of somebody who doesn't have this experience. Like, if I was there, I might have cried. You love to cry. I love to cry. But when you're trying to be a bad bitch, you cannot cry two minutes later. Like, that's the rule. That's the rule. You just can't do that.

Like, send him home. Right. Wipe your hands clean. Go back to talking to the guys. Fair. But isn't that better like crying alone outside? Isn't that... She didn't cry alone because then fucking...

No, I know, I know. But she started crying. Like, first she was alone. Yeah. I feel, like, isn't it better to, like, kick the asshole to the curb and not show any emotion and not break and then maybe cry after he leaves? Instead of, like, crying to Scott being like, how would you do this? No, no, no.

No, it's great that she didn't cry to him. Scott. Yeah. But crying still in front of the cameras and everybody. Let's hold it together. You didn't know him. Fair. Like he didn't cheat on you.

Fair. So see you, Scott. Goodbye. Move on with the night. Okay. All right. Who's after Scott? Next out of the limo was Mateo.

So obviously we talked about him because he's the sperm donor guy. He had a pretty normal entrance. It was definitely nervous to meet Hannah. He's got a pretty hot Instagram, I have to say. Like he just saying. But can you look past the 114 kids thing? I don't know. That's going to be a conversation that they're going to have to have, which will be very interesting.

It's going to be an interesting conversation for sure. In my opinion, if I was dating somebody and then all of a sudden they had 114 kids running around, I think I would be a little weirded out. But if I really love the person, I think I could just see the sweet side of it instead of thinking about how weird it is. Right. That's true. And maybe he's got a situation where I'm. like the kid you know the kids they're not looking for it nobody's looking for him right like yeah

it's not like yeah nobody's like where's my father yeah yeah yeah um imagine he had 114 kids running around like where's my dad right yeah no so he he made me laugh well his hand made me laugh because during the rose ceremony he had gave him a rose and she said mattae and she's like did i say your name right and i'm like how else you're gonna say matty oh madio madio maddie oh how else are you going to say Yeah. Next we had Darren. Darren had about zero airtime Monday night. So there's really not much to say.

No, let's just move on from Darren. That was about it. Darren got a rose. That's all you got to know. Yep. Tyler G. Tyler G. Tyler G. is a grad student.

He said that when he found out that Hannah was the Bachelorette, he would dream about her every night. which I and then was like so that means you're the girl in my dreams sweet creepy I'm not really sure maybe a little bit of both this is more on the creepy side maybe it's a TMI situation because listen we all have dreams and like we all dream about things that we probably wouldn't say out loud you know like everybody has weird dreams and may dream about people that they don't say but you don't come up to somebody and say I dream about you every night like that's TMI keep that to yourself if he said that to us and he was like listen guys

I have been having dreams about Hannah B every night. It's a little different but when you look somebody in the eye and you're like I've been dreaming about you every night you are now the girl my dreams. Because your dreams reflect what's going on in your life kind of like if there's people you know what I mean so like maybe he just was thinking about the bachelorette the whole time Hannah B. Just continually would dream about Hannah

that's fine then we had Thomas Thomas was an international basketball player. He did not make the cut. He got axed, so there's really not much to say about him. Then we had Matthew, Matthew, 23-year-old car bid spotter. We didn't really get any of his intro either. Like, we saw him say hi.

He introduced himself as Matt. That was it. Really, that's all we saw. And then he also got sent home, so. I hate to see that. I'm not going to waste my breath on the people that got some time. Sorry, Matt. Besides one of them.

There's a few. Then, the box king. So we saw Joe Barzano, the box king. I love Joe Barzano. Yeah, so I'm Joe Barzano. That sounds like somebody's name I should be saying. Joe Barzano.

Joe Barzano from Chicago. He's got the box king. He had a video package. We saw his whole family. Obviously. very Italian loves cardboard boxes. He, I realize now when I watch other Italian families on TV, why people make fun of my kind so much.

Yeah. Because it's just funny. There's a lot of material. Everyone's always screaming. Like, anytime an Italian family is shown on TV, they're yelling. Oh, yeah. And it was just so classic when he was like, I'm Joe Barzano. This is my dad, Joe Barzano.

It's like, this is my. My uncle, like, Anthony Barzano. And that's my other uncle, Frank Barzano. It just, every name is the same. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So Joe popped out of a giant cardboard box. He, his, his energy was so alarming that I think he just was too much.

Like, he was also too much. He's also a Vegas guy. He is a big Vegas guy. He didn't even get to mention that because he just gone. the first night, but it was in his bio. So he pops out and he's like, Hannah, this package isn't complete without you.

You did your Jojo C-Wod voice for Joe. I feel like it kind of fits. It does a little bit. I was taking it back by that. He yelled so much, like he yelled so loud and it was so aggressive.

He was Italian. I was like, whoa, Joe. Joe, just take it easy, man. Take it easy. Take it easy. He didn't make it out. Yeah, unfortunately. Fortunately, the Box King didn't make the cut.

We go back to Chicago Joe's getting sent home night one. It turned out very well for Joe Amabaly. It turned out so well for him. I don't think he's got the charm of grocery store Joe. No, Joe Barzano, he doesn't have that grocery store Joe charm. Because it seems like there was another guy who everybody was feeling as more of like the grocery store Joe type, where maybe he'll get a second chance in paradise. I don't know if the Box King will make the cut,

but they had so much success with one Chicago Joe, maybe they'll give this one a try to. Yeah, who knows, but I think one Chicago Joe is good enough. Yeah, I agree. Then there was Joey. Joey is older. We talked about him. He's like ready to settle down.

He's 33. He showed up with like a little baby car seat, blanket over it. There was a bottle of champagne hidden underneath. Cute, they popped the bottle. However, first impression being like, I want to have your baby. Babies?

Could be a little overboard. I hate that every time somebody does it on The Bachelor. I forget who did it with the minivan. It just freaks me out. Listen, we haven't even met yet. Stop thinking about having my babies. Right. And Hannah's still so young.

She might not want to have babies right away. No, let's just worry about the marriage first. Right. Agreed. Or just having a boyfriend in general. A lot of chief was very concerned about his haircut. But he had a very deep part that I could see where people will be like, what's going on there? But I thought Joey was kind of cute.

We'll see what happens. We'll see. Connor Jay. Connor Jay also had a video package where we met his grandmother, of course. She was super cute. He was talking about, you know, where his family is from. He's a mixed race. Like, he's got all this different, all these different family members.

and they're all from different places. He spoke French to Hannah when he got out of the limo. I'm fine. Like, I'm fine with the different languages. But I just, like, can ABC hit me with some subtitles one time? Like, tell me what this guy's saying. Yeah, I want to know what he's saying, but I also like the move because French is the most romantic language they say, right? So I feel like that is a very common thing.

Like, oh, French is so sexy. Yeah, use that to your advantage. I'd also like to mention. I just one time want somebody to have like the worst grandma ever Just just have a grandma on the show that people hate Yeah Because it's impossible

It is it's pretty hard to have a grandma or mom on Well the moms are easier but it's pretty hard to hate really old Really old people unless they say something really bad It's very hard to hate old people But I love just one time for somebody to have their grandma on And I'd be like fuck this grandma Yeah. That would be interesting. It would make things a lot more interesting.

Huh. Maybe something for them to think about. Connor also pulled Hannah aside during the night for like a little bachelorette party, which was cute. It was like out in the driveway. I thought Hannah, I laughed at Hannah's joke about shaking. She's like, you're the junk in the trunk thing, whatever the heck they were playing. Yeah, I don't know what was going on there.

She was like, you're getting too close to my junk. She was like, don't touch it. Yeah. I mean, yeah, yeah, which I liked first night, you know. Connor put a crown on her head and I feel like at a flash we saw pageant Hannah come out like she immediately was like oh thank you

so I was like wow we just saw pageant Hannah there here's the thing if anybody is going to put a crown on my head like I will also freak out and blush too someone's putting a crown on your head it's like when people call you queen it's like thank you very much I also really never thought about it as much that like be becoming Miss Alabama

is probably one of the hardest states to become Miss Alabama. Totally. Totally. Right? Like there's got to be so many. So many page of girls. So many beautiful girls. Yeah.

So many, like I said, just beauty pageant girls from top to bottom. They've been raised. Like, that's what they do in Alabama. Right. Exactly. Okay. Then we had Ryan. Roller boy Ryan.

Poor Ryan. He, once we saw, once I saw that his bio and we saw it, once we saw that his bio was Roller Boy. You're like, all right, this guy's going home night one because they always like to give somebody who goes home night one. A name? Yeah, like the stupid jobs because it's like something funny to talk about for one episode because they know that he's not making it far. So they're like, ha, ha, let's just give him like a stupid job. So everybody laughs at him and articles get written about him.

Same thing with Box King. Like it's like, you know, they write it because they know they're disappearing. He didn't really say much, you know, rolled in on his roller. Skate said roll tide a billion times. There was a tweet going around that I don't know if it's still out or if the girl deleted it or not, but it was...

Oh, I know. It was super sketch. Okay. Oh, the girl deleted the tweet. I took screenshots. Yeah, this girl blew up a spot. Big time blew up his spot. Big time blew up his spot. Some people were saying it was a nice message, and

I'd really like to have a talk with those people. I'll read the whole text out loud. It's not a mean message by anything. It is a nice message, but it's a little too extra. It's way too extra. I read it. So he said, good morning.

This girl's name was Sam. This is Ryan from Tavern and Broad last night. I think I'm undefeated against this birthday so far. Because surprisingly, I'm not too hung over this morning. It was great meeting you last night. Also, do I get my one birthday wish today? Bold strategy using my entire single wish on this. I know.

But as the kids say these days, you got a risk it to get the biscuit. Here goes nothing. For my birthday, Sam, I wish for a nice, casual date. No expectations and nothing crazy. Oh, with you, of course. Ideally, over something that I hold most dear in my heart. You guessed it, ice cream. So the ball is in your court, Sam.

All I need to know is if my one birthday wish can come true, and if so, we can pick a day for the most romantic casual ice cream date of your life. P.S. I know the whole tell someone you're wishing it won't come true adage, but not a worry at all. I've already done the doodil. to do diligence, and according to Section 3, Article 5 of the Birthday Wish Handbook, if the girl is above a nine in beauty and attractiveness,

then she has the power to override and grant the wish as she sees fit. Like, this is what you did on your birthday? Like, you really put that much effort into typing this out. No, listen, I get it, you want to stand out when you're reaching out to a girl. You want to make a good impression. You want to do it in a different way. It's tough. It's so tough.

I understand. Like, I don't want to. bash guys who are trying to go on a date with a girl, like, get exposed like that. Exactly. Exactly. Like, that's super fucked up. Like, he's trying to go on a date with a girl. I don't want to shit on anybody who's trying to just go on a date with a girl. I don't think he had any ill intentions. Like, I don't think he was meaning to be creepy. Right. But was the whole thing just so extra? Yes. Like, that, like, that is a sure way that she's going to say no to your date. Yeah. Like, what happened to? Hey, had a great time last night. Would love to hang out this week.

Let me know if you're available. Thanks. That's it. If I met that guy and I liked him that night, thought he was great. And he sent me a text saying exactly what you said. I'd say, yeah, let's go on a date. If I met a guy that I liked and the next day he sends me that, I'm texting all of my friends immediately like, oh. Yeah, your alarms are going off.

Because it's the first time you're texting me and it's almost a full essay. Totally. Let's get it together. Let's clean it up. Yeah. Okay. Then we had Hunter. Hunter, cute, surfer.

Doesn't really matter what he did. He had his tie with him and was like, can you tie? Let's tie the knot. Whatever. He went home, so whatever. See you. Grant. Grant loved his food puns.

He came in saying it's a sausage party. I got some mustard. Let's relish the nuts. make sure we catch up inside. That's fine. He's a pun guy. He said it himself. He's a pun guy.

And we got Grant on our list because his bio was the one that was like he's ready to call out the younger guys. Just feel like he's going to play some kind of role. We could be totally wrong. Who knows. And he thinks he's better than everybody. Yeah. That seems to be the message here. And unemployed.

And he's unemployed. So we'll see what happens. Okay. Jonathan brought pizza for Hannah. That's great. Will you have a pizza my heart? Another food pun. Guys were loving the food puns. He got a rose, so that's fine.

Good for him. Good for him. Pizza's great. Kevin. Kevin is the behavioral health specialist that we liked from his bio. We were like, he seems like he's a good guy. He got out of the limo with a bunch of footballs and then dropped them all and was like, ah, I fumbled this introduction.

You fumbled the introduction by doing that. Yeah. But you fumbled it by fumbling. Yeah. I also took a deep look at this man's Instagram, and I remember in his bio it did say that he loves to work out, but he literally posts so many shirtless photos of, like, just his chest. Like his head's not in it.

See, that's a problem. This is what Instagram. It's just zoomed in of, like, just his peck. You could see, like, hair on his, like, it's just, you don't need, I don't need to see that. Yeah, I don't want to see that. Do you have a great body? Sure, but there's so many.

many pictures that I'm like, oh, is that a red flag? It might be. Like, at least give us the full body, not just your pecks. Yeah. Yeah, he's got a cute face. Like, why I cut your face out. Put your face in it. All right.

Then we got Luke P. Okay, finally, because I've been waiting. It's 50 minutes have gone by and I've been waiting to get to Luke P. Luke P. I got two enemies right now, John Paul Jones and Luke P. Luke P comes out of the limo fucking growling on top of the limo. Like his king con. Like, literally. And then Hannah's like, roar, and they have this weird sexual tension growling at each other.

I'm like, I can't even imagine what the sex between these two would be like. They're fucking, like, I don't even know. It's not going to be wild. Remember he found Jesus, Ria. Yeah, okay. So he stopped the sex. He talked to God in the shower. In his video package, he made it very clear that he's hooked up with tons of ladies.

And then one day he had a conversation with God in the shower. and he's changing his ways, I guess, you know, the next girl he dates, he said, you know, he wants to marry or whatever the next girl he sleeps with, he wants to marry. He came out so, like he came off so tough, like he tried so hard the whole episode. He was the biggest suck up on the episode, which makes me hate him. It makes me despise him. and I know he's going to be bad news. I feel it in my heart. I'm smelling the bullshit.

I can smell it for miles away. He's going to be bad news. Bad news. Big time bad moves. I really hope so because Hannah gave him her first impression rose. They had like a kind of a gross makeout. Yeah. And like the last three bacheloretts in a row have given, like the guy who gets the first impression

rose has won. See, I think. he's going to go far and I think if he turned out to be this nice suck up guy yeah he'll win but he's not I think the coming attractions yeah it looks like he's going to fall apart I hope it's going to be him he's going to crumble which I'm hoping for yeah I hope he fucking crumbles on the spot because honestly I'm rooting hard against Luke yeah okay going through we're going to go through last few few ones quick we got to meet him before he got a rose not much air time Dustin she also met before. He also got a rose. Then we had Cam. Cam came in already with a rose.

Yep. Cam wrapped again. Cam can't stop rapping. He's trying to take my shine. And he also DMed us that he'd like to battle. Right. Cam DM tricks at the office that he would like to dance battle after you challenged him. Yeah. So maybe we'll be able to set that up. I would love to set that up. Yeah, me too. He said he was not here for his 15 minutes of fame. I feel like when you have to say that. And I feel like when you're messaging chicks in the office to do a dance battle, you know. Yeah, we'll just keep an eye on cam. That's fine. Matt Donald came out singing old McDonald on a tractor, had the straw hat. He kept the straw hat on all night long, which I'm hoping a producer told him he had to do because he had it on all night long. Even during the rose ceremony,

he had that thing on. It's like, oh, no, it's not a good look. Not a good look. The song wasn't that great. A lot of singing. But he seemed really sweet. He had the video package with his family and his parents are deaf, his brother. So I like that. That's the whole thing. Like, I think he's really sweet. He seems like a very sweet guy. I think Twitter connected with him and maybe

he'll get the grocery store Joe treatment. Yeah, I agree. I hope because I thought he was, I thought he was very sweet and it sucked. He didn't get a chance. And then our guy, Chasin. Chasing. Pilot drama. RIP Chasin. Chasin comes out. He's a pilot.

He made Hannah a little paper airplane super cute. But the problem was there was another pilot. Peter. Pilot Peter. Pilot Peter comes out. He had the double P's. You know, when you're pilot Peter versus pilot Chason and your name's Chasing. Chasing.

Yeah. Like, you know, pilot Peter's going to win. They both have great. Peter came out in full uniform. crushed it brought wings for her like immediately when that guy came in Jason was like oh man

he wore his uniform even Hannah said love a man in uniform Jason didn't get the rose I'm sad that Jason didn't get a rose You'll be sad for a day and then we'll move on I know but I was still sad just because his name was Jason Yeah all right my so we got to wrap it up

but I am going to give out my these are my top five picks Garrett Tyler C. Peter Jed and Luke P All right friend that wraps up today's episode Thank you so much Everybody who listen

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