Chilluminati Podcast - Chilluminati Podcast LIVE At CoxCon 2019!

Episode Date: July 22, 2019

Get Your Merch! - http://theyetee.com/collections/chilluminati Soundcloud - @chilluminatipodcast  Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox  Alex Faciane - http://www.youtube.com/user/superbeardbros Art Commissioned by - http://www.mollyheadycarroll.com Theme - Matt Proft Video - http://www.twitter.com/digitalmuppet

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and convenience of home with your outdoor adventures. Whatever your needs are, we're here to help. Visit a Motorsportsland RV center or motorsportsland.com today and let Motorsportsland help you get away. Hey, Chaluma audio listeners. Before we get going with the episode, I just want you to know that there's gonna be

two spots in which there is some missing audio. The beginning of this episode is actually gonna miss the first couple of minutes, primarily because there's some copyrighted music in the beginning that was playing prior to the live show taking place, so that was removed for those reasons. And then in the middle of the episode, there's about a 30-second to a minute spot of no audio.

Right from like 36 minutes, 41 seconds in to 37 minutes, 15 seconds in. That is when a picture went up during the live show in order to put the picture up. They had to mute the audio to get it up there. We're just laughing at the picture, but don't worry about it. You don't miss anything else important. Other than that, there will be Mothman Part 3

coming very, very soon, but this is the live show that I was gone for. Enjoy Chaluma Naughty Live at Coxcon. HIP HOP MUSIC Oh, whoa! Feels good when it's so big like that. Yeah. Right behind us?

Yeah, it was dope. Feels official. Oh my goodness. It's fine after a year and a half we're official. Yeah. Hello everyone and welcome to an early morning trilluminati. Oh my gosh, there's ghosts in here. Yeah, but he's taped inside a doll.

Before we do anything, before we do anything. Hello, welcome to day two of COXCON. You can definitely tell it's day two. There's a lot of like, oh my god. But speaking of day two, I'm not sure. I'll do a mime show right next to you while you talk. I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but it's someone's birthday today. He might be between Mathis and I right now.

Oh shit. Harold! Hit the baby! No. No, no! Alex. Yes. Is it your birthday today?

Yes. Yes, it's my birthday. I'm finally 21. Able to drink. I think we need a rousing rendition of happy birthday. Okay. For Alex. Okay, but can I make a request?

Yes. At the end, after you say you, can you all just make like a really like spooky sound? Oh yeah, you should be a whoo! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right. Three, two, one. Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Yay! Now it's my turn. Now it's my turn for a request. How many of you have watched Listen to Illuminati before? Hell yes.

Yeah. So the Mothman episodes are the most recent episodes. And the researcher who put all that work into that, or almost all that work into that, is here. Deanna, I just want to give a round of applause for all the work she's put into the show so far. And a big old happy birthday to her father as well. Happy 80th birthday. Alex, you're her father?

Yeah. Woo! All right. Well, welcome to Illuminati, everybody. Now before we get going on this particular episode, Jesse brought a gift that I feel like we need to do. You brought a gift? No, you bought me that gift. You're right.

Actually, Alex bought you that gift. Alex bought me that gift. I sent him a haunted doll. You did send me a haunted doll. This is Harold. I think he was $35. And he's got the spirit of a dead World War I veteran inside him. And the story goes that if the tape comes off, he will command you to worship him and take a knee before him.

If you don't, he'll cut your brakes or do something with the vehicle you're in to kill you. Well, hold on. Time out. What's the worst thing that could happen if you submitted to a doll's rule? I just want to say it. Oh, the president! If you take the tape off that thing's mouth, I am not taking it home. Here's the worst part.

This head is cracked open. It's so creepy. This thing is... Oh, it moves. He's also horrendously stained everywhere in some sort of yellow liquid. Do you think it's made of like asbestos? Well, I'll let you know in like 10 years. Yeah, yeah, you will.

It's just something like serial killer makes these and like peas all over them and sends it to people on eBay. That's what he does. Asbestos stalls and marks it with something. Speaking of things serial killers do, wait, for some reason have my shower water up here? It's a jar of Jesse's shower water. I don't, when did that happen? Who brought that? I'm not sure, but... It wasn't me!

And I think I would be, I would be the one to know. Right. Maybe it was Harold. Oh, he's looking at me. He's looking at you, dude. Well, I brought my own horrifying thing. This is definitely the weirdest thing of all. Mailed to the office.

Legend says this is the first football ever. Are we talking like football or like... No, we're talking American football. Do you still have the little... I don't have the note. It was like... No, I do have the note. Oh my God.

Did you get the color on this note? Ugh. Yeah, that's the same serial killer who peed on Harold. Dear Chiluminati, within here lies both my family's legacy and their burden. I have reached the end of my rope, having claimed its 12th victim under my care. I can no longer chalk the depths, the depths up to mere coincidence.

I now entrust you. It rests inside a sealed hide, filled with soil and some remains from its original home. Simply by opening the box you're taking your life into your own hand. Contain Inside is a football from the first Thanksgiving football game. Legend has it that after thoroughly stomping the natives in a game, oh boy, they had never played before, the colonialists flossed then spiked the football in the end zone.

The end zone, unbeknownst to them, sacred Indian burial ground. Over the years there have been many, many accidents. There are pictures documenting the ball's slow change that has taken on what appears to be a menacing face. In flight you can hear the hateful scream. It is almost certainly fueled by the soles of the damned. Hopefully you know what to do with it, but I can no longer keep it. Alright, here's my guess.

It's one of those nerf balls that whistles through the air. Well, if you want to know what it is, this is what came to us in the package. And can I just say, if you remove this terrible thing, there is, oh god, there's like symbols in here, which is why Alex, I'm going to ask you to open it. Happy birthday! A curse. Maybe it's the remains of Jeff.

What is this? How do I even begin your teeth? I wonder if someone... Bite it? I would never recommend putting this in your mouth. There's a fine powder that just keeps wafting off of this thing. I don't know. Somebody got a knife?

There's soil. Oh! There's soil in there. I don't think we should be opening this on... Are you sure? Maybe open it in the box. Yeah, yeah, that's a good idea. Alright.

This is terrible. It's just powder. This is one of the creepiest... I'm waiting for like a wisp of a spirit to come out when you open it. Like 300 spiders. Screams. 300 spiders in a tidal wave of blood. What?

Oh my god. I knew somebody out there was going to have a knife. Thank you. That's the worst thing you could want. Just a, you know, practical knife for tasks. Like cutting open the... Don't throw it on the ground. It's just hay.

No, it's not. Oh no. Alex, what is this? Is that a butthole? What is this? I don't know what the... What is this? What is that?

What is... Ooh. Is that a Barbie doll head? Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Nope. Nope. Wait, he has a girlfriend now. Oh yeah. He has a girlfriend. What is happening? What is this? I don't like any of this.

All right. Wait, wait. That was just the appetizer. Wait. What in the hell? This is the episode, everybody. If there's anybody just listening, it's just him struggling to open the burlap sack. Oh my god.

What... What is this? I don't think you reach in. What is this? What is that? Hold on. Alex. Oh yeah.

This is more involved than I thought it would be. Oh my god. What is... Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh, there's the rest of her. I like how they took the... They took the time to put in the dirt.

Oh my... Oh my god, it literally hits. That was right. It's a vortex. Happy birthday to you. It's nerfed or nothing. Let's see someone just get smacked in the face. Not ready for it.

Did someone catch that, please? There you go. Well, Alex, your whole side is so dirty. What do you mean? All right. Well, let's dive into the proper episode, everybody. You dirty, dirty boy. I don't know if it translates well, but you are so dirty right now.

I need to be beaten like a rug outside. All right, let's do this thing. Let's do it. All right. Well, today, everybody, we're going to be covering something that's kind of a classic and also UK-specific. Today, Chula Minotti is covering Stonehenge. So, let's start with the proper facts about Stonehenge,

and then we're going to talk about all the wonderful theories as to what Stonehenge actually is, because let's be real, it's not what the scientists think it is. No. Don't start. Don't. It's too early. We've got to wait.

Wait for some facts to hit the ground. Okay, all right. So, there's no doubt that Stonehenge is one of the biggest mysteries and greatest historical monuments on Earth. Beyond just Stonehenge itself, the entire area is filled with ancient sites. Four or five pits, some of them even having large pine tree totem-like posts reside there. These pits, these pits and their big old trunks date somewhere between 8,500 and 7,000 BC. Time out really quickly.

All right. Before we continue on, out of everyone here, who has actually been to Stonehenge? All right. I just want to make sure you need somebody to back you up just in case. No, yeah. When I poo-poo, everything you're about to say. All right. Continue, please.

The pits wouldn't be the only structure set up here over time, as it's thought that the whole area was a giant clearing in a very heavily wooded forest, making it the perfect spot for these ancient humans to build. Later dating in the centuries around 3,500 BC, what would you say? What? Do you say ancient pagans? I thought you said ancient demons. I was like, what the hell are we talking about?

I'll enunciate. I'm sorry. These ancient demons. I was like, we're already off the rails. Dating around 3,500 BC, what would be referred to as early Neolithic monument complex began being built. This complex includes the causeway enclosure at Robin Hood's Ball, the two curses monuments, Stonehenge and Lesser Curses, and several long barrows. What's so important about these pits and ditches is that, well, it's possible.

Some may even say likely that these long barrows and such are chunks of land where early pieces of Stonehenge will become Stonehenge were excavated from. From here on, buildings and sites began being erected, with the earliest being around 3,000-ish BC, when a circular ditch was dug out. But unlike the earlier pits, this one had inner and outer banks, around 100 meters in diameter, and had two entrances to it. Inside that bank and ditch, 56 smaller pits reside, likely holding large pieces of timber, or some even say rocks.

Also found inside these ditches, known as Aubrey holes, were 64 cremations. And scholars think some were up to 150 cremations once were in these holes around the area, making it the largest Neolithic cemetery in the British Isles. It wasn't until around 2,500 BC did the stones start actually going up. The site is comprised of two types of stones, larger and smaller, sarsens and bluestones respectively. The large ones were erected in two concentric arrangements, an inner horseshoe shape and an outer circle. The small boys were set up between them in a double arc structure. The small boys?

Small boys, you gotta, you know, I'm giving a history lesson, gotta spice it up with some small boys. The small boys? Well, maybe I shouldn't have said that out. I'm waiting for like a, I'm waiting for like a, or is it? It's common, baby. Yeah. So can I tell you if you ever go on the actual tour and you go through the hole, like you walk around it, they give you an audio guide to go with you.

There's a man and a woman who both talked to you, right? Okay. And then in Middle East was 2012, so it might have changed. But at the time, there's a part where you get towards the end of the tour and the man's like, what was Stonehenge for? And then the woman comes in and she's like, what did they do here? The guy's like, one day we may find out. The woman's like, what was the purpose?

And then it ends and no one tells you anything. But we now have incontrovertible facts available right here, right now on the Shilluminati podcast. The government doesn't want you to know the truth. No, they're very controversial. Controvertial? Actually, you know what? I had a question. I probably don't have an answer.

How close is these pits where the rocks came from? So there's a couple that are close, which they believe were the first stones that were taken. And that's this complex that we're talking about. That's the complex we're talking about right now. And then later on, the smaller ones, the bluestones, they were taken from around 180 miles away, north, up in Wales. Well, correct me if I'm wrong. There's like, if anyone knows this more than me, there's, it started small. And then it was like mostly wood stuff.

Yeah, the pits. And then it got bigger and bigger and bigger until eventually it was a giant stone. Yeah. And then they like sprinkled little tiny stones here and there. Well, the smaller ones might have some importance that we'll talk about here in a little bit. Aliens? Don't spoil it. It's always aliens.

It's always aliens. That's the important part. So then about two or three hundred years later, the central small stones were rearranged to form a circle or inner oval, which would later be altered to form another horseshoe shape. Four of the larger stones got hundreds of carvings of axe heads and a few daggers. They're believed to be bronze axes as well, which is important because it kind of dictates the time at which they were carved in, moving into metalworking and kind of the unification of the mule. Do you think aliens taught us how to use bronze?

Jesse, just wait. We're getting there. I promise. You don't think I'm going to talk about aliens? Okay. Contrary to some public belief, these Neolithic period people absolutely had the tools and means to create Stonehenge. It's not something that a lot of people think that they couldn't do. Keep this in mind for when they start talking about aliens.

They could have done it themselves, but maybe aliens did it. Or may, you know, wait, stop. You're going to get me riled up. I'm going to go storm area 51 in a few weeks. So especially around this time, where knowledge and metalworking was coming about in beaker pottery, which is just bronze age pottery. So it's a good way to kind of identify when the carvings hit. I could go into the entire history of the area for hours. So I'm just going to kind of cut the history short, but that's kind of just a lesson here of where these stones came from.

But just to lay a foundation as to what and how we believe Stonehenge came to be as we enter the real meat is everything I just said a lie. I knew it. I knew it was coming. The question that. No, it's not. It's scientific. No, it's possibly a lie. Everything you just said, you probably read from a Wikipedia page.

That's not true. I read like there's this big British history site, Wikipedia pages, a couple of articles written about where the stones and the importance of those blue stones. Yes. And all that stuff was probably stolen from books written by scientists and or. I do go to like listen to like oral history of like Stonehenge. I got to read. No, I'm just saying that a to be to see probably a scientist was involved or the government set it up to keep us blind to the truth. So what was it for?

What? That's right. What misinformation is a very powerful tool of the government to keep everybody blind to the truth. We'll get there. If I know, if I know any. Yeah, one guy was like, absolutely. If I know anything about what's going to happen here and my personal knowledge of Stonehenge theories, we're going to get to some weird zones today. I don't like any of this.

I don't like any of this. You're about to make an entire audience. Not believe reality. And I'm really bad at you. You invited me. The real question lies at the very heart of every Stonehenge conspiracy theory. What was Stonehenge for? What was its purpose?

And while historians have some ideas as to why it exists, and we'll cover a couple of them briefly because they're not as interesting. None can say truly for sure because we don't know. Some believe it was to track the stars, eclipses, maybe it was a giant clock. It's possible any of those are the truth. It certainly could be and would be proof that even our ancient ancestors were interested in the heavens themselves. But maybe they were because of something much, much greater. What could it possibly be? Let's not get too crazy to start.

One of our favorite theories is a simple one that I hadn't heard of until I actually started putting this episode together. And that one is quite simply that Stonehenge is a giant. Jesse, I think you're going to like this one. It's a giant sex symbol, dude. Go on. Rages. And one that is... Wait, wait.

Did it just like just sink in? No, just let me think about it for a minute. That doesn't make any sense. Why would you need it? What? You know how like in Nazca they have like just like big ass like... Right, but the whole idea of creating something big like that is that from above the gods would be able to see it, right? Or anybody who's up there... The UFOs flying by are like, wow, they made a monkey, right?

Dude, no, what I'm saying is you're telling me that in this scenario these guys are like, what if we let the aliens know we're down to... Okay. Well, this one doesn't have to be with aliens, right? You might actually glean something from this one. The theory was posited by none other than, of course, a gynecologist by the name of Anthony Perks. According to Tony here, the stones are arranged away... Tony.

Tony likes the idea that these stones are set up to kind of display spreading legs. The whole monument itself is a sign of respect and worship. Come on, dapps, come on, dapps me. I got you, bro. Fair enough. Fair enough. But while it may seem perverted to start, it could be just a giant monument itself to respect and worship Mother Earth. What?

It's just like a monument to like femininity. Yeah, it's a monument to... He cites the lack of any... How does it look like spreading legs? Well, you know, like the stone at the top and the two stones coming down like that. Dude, most fertility... What? Most fertility idols don't even look quite right.

No, all the good fertility idols look like. And these are people... And these are people from like 3000 BC. They're not like Picasso's, dude. They got rocks. Cavemen can draw elk. And if they want to make a giant monument to Mother Earth's open legs, like, what are you going to do? I'm not alone.

I think this guy was just like... Well, he's a gynecologist, so just take it... He sees open legs everywhere. What's I'm saying? He's biased. He's biased. He's biased towards open legs. He's got a vaginal bias.

He specifically cites the lack of, in Stonehenge specifically, any cremated dead, unlike the sites that were around the area, since he would consider it a place to celebrate life, birth, and just the renewal of seasons in life. It's like specifically not like a sacrifice site. Right. Where the site's around it there, like they found cremated dead everywhere and whatnot, so... That's at least the somewhat respected theory, right? Right, right, right.

Okay. Well, I don't know if I'd say respected, but I wouldn't say it's super far. It's a cult classic. Yeah. Well, it's like, yeah, it's like, I don't know, Boondock Saints. Yeah, got it. A respected classic has a message, probably not real. Yeah, it's like a Donnie Dark.

Yeah, but like 10 years later, when you go back in and watch it, you're like, why did I love this place? Yeah, no. Or when you went to go see the sequel when it came out, you're like, this is awful. Oh, man, yeah, yeah. Maybe, though, maybe it was a real ritualistic site, a place to worship again Mother Earth, like previously said, but also a place of healing. So the burials around the area have been shown to have deformities or trauma associated with them. So maybe Stonehenge was like a pilgrimage site for all those in desperate need of some sort of miracle or healer,

and Stonehenge was that site. And then when they failed and died, they got brought to the other areas and were buried and cremated. Yeah, I believe that. Yeah. That sounds bad. All right. Yeah. I can accept that.

Giant spread legs. Right, spread legs. Well, that's... No. I'm with you. Yeah. Like it's like a... Right.

You can see like maybe Stonehenge was like birth and life. And then as he went out, all the death started happening towards the toe. Or it was a bunch of really sick people that went to this place expecting to be healed, but they died because it was never going to happen. That was going to 3000 BC. So you weren't going to get... Yeah, they were like... Some like...

3000 BC, you like could get a cut and die. Right. Yeah. No, you were... Well, if that was too risque for you, Jesse, let's... Risque? Yeah. Spread legs.

Listen, I don't know. Don't worry, though. Because we're going to head into the world of mundanity for a minute. This is one of my personal favorite theories. What if Stonehenge wasn't a ritualistic site? Wasn't a healing site? Wasn't anything really special? What if Stonehenge was nothing more than a corporate unity exercise?

Go on. Thank you. Thank you. I don't know why they're clapping. It's like, yes, I love corporations. They just want us to say the crazy stuff. I just pulled a football out of a burlap sack, runes on it. This theory is held by...

Hedge Co. Surprisingly, this theory is held by quite a few historians, but became popular in 2012 when a man by the name of Pearson, another historian, put the theory forth in a book strictly about Stonehenge. We're talking about like an ancient corporate unity exercise. Absolutely. Like a bronze age truss fall. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's no corporation 3,000, 300,000 years old or present that would be like, all right guys, we're going to wreck some stones. Or is there? While it may seem bizarre, funny, Jesse, there is some precedent behind it. This is a point in time in history where all the Neolithic peoples and tribes are starting

to come together and starting to unify. And Stonehenge would have been such a massive project that it would need tons of people working together to put it up and finally finish the piece. What better way to get all these ancient tribes together than to build some ancient company morale? You know, okay. I can understand this like a cuchon, like where my family's from, like all the different people in the neighborhood, they all like, they slaughter a pig together and they all

come and have like a little fair and this family always makes the blood sausage and this family always makes the bacon and this family always, you know, does this thing, this thing, this thing. And it's just like a little, it's like a bonding exercise with the neighborhood. I could see that. Sure. But what they're doing is a fun thing. And the process of moving giant slabs of stone is not fun.

And so the only way I can see this happening is if these tribes came together and then we're like, bring all your slaves, we're going to wreck some stone. Like there's no way this happened. Listen, don't look at me as historians believe it and they went to school. That's like a legit theory. Yes. That is a legit theory. That's why legit theory.

Don't look at me. Why are you looking at me like I'm an idiot? Or maybe it wasn't any of that. Maybe it was a sound stage. What? There is belief that the stones used though only found many, many miles away around 150 to 180 miles north out in Wales, where they were eventually placed down south, were chosen specifically the bluestones, the smaller ones I was saying earlier for their acoustic qualities.

Better sound and with the right arrangement could even help create an even more pleasant and louder tones. Just bring in the moth man to have him scream in there for a while. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I II with Music that learderry you the comments of the

non-sense. The truth to how and why such ancient peoples built such a beautiful monument. Those who guide us above. Not gods, not spirits. Aliens. We're here. We're here, baby. It only took us 30 minutes. While true that they would have had the tools necessary to erect this particular monument on their own and the skills necessary to create such a monument in that time, it's where the stones came from. Specifically the bluestones, the smaller ones, the ones from Wales, the one from Wales that throw everything into a whirlwind. The bluestones originated from Wales, approximately 150 miles to the north, with the largest quarry having been 180 miles. What? Northwest.

Don't question them. See, once you start questioning, you're questioning it. I pulled this off. Where is Wales, really? Think about it. Are the aliens there? 150 miles to 180 miles elsewhere, the largest quarry being on... What is west? If you wanted to drive there today, it would take about three and a half to four hours. Four hours drive by car. What is time? If you were to walk, you're looking at like a two-day walk. Now have that multiplied, bringing hundreds of people to these stones, and now Taskworth bringing these things down to where Stonehench was erected, where they were using tools that were perishable, the ropes, everything that they would have

used would have broken multiple times along the way. They didn't have the technology to create sustaining tools at that point. Are you telling me that the aliens were like, don't worry, we'll bring you stones? No. It's gonna take you guys two days, so we'll do it. Now how long would it have taken forever? Is it doable? No, not forever, two days, you said. No, walking two days, but now you've got to bring these monstrous rocks would have been a lot longer. What else are you gonna do with your time? A corporate retreat. You wake up a couple days. A corporate retreat to Wales and back. Sure, it might be doable. Productivity is gonna go down, down, down if you don't lock it up in one weekend.

I'm just saying, what are you gonna do if you are, if it's 300,000 years ago? Let's say three of us is 300,000 years ago. Alright. What are we doing? We're all stroking about in our loincloth or whatever. Yeah. Oaking whatever planets around. Yeah. And let's say neither of us are a chieftain and or shaman and or whatever. Absolutely. We're just lowly dudes in the tribe. Yeah. Right. What else are we gonna do with our time except we like, you know what? Hunt. No. Xbox. Blinks the time sweeper. Original Xbox. All I'm saying is that there's plenty of people in the tribe. They could definitely be like, yo, you three idiots, go find us small

stones and drag them back. But what are we gonna do with our time? How big is this? How big is a small stone? We're talking bigger, like, bigger than my body. Yeah, like one of the ones I'm thinking of from stone doesn't matter. Time and idiots. We can do anything. Time and time plus idiots equals success. That's the that's the motto of the scary game squad. And while there is evidence in the quarries that they were there, that they were mining these things, that's not really debatable. But they wouldn't have taken it by water, which is one of the theories that was originally posited, but it wouldn't it would have been impossible.

They would have it would have been technically quicker for them to actually bring the stones by land back to where Stonehenge was erected. So it would have just been a ton of work. So what if what actually happened was a little extraterrestrial help? What if I feel like a gray is like smaller and less capable? Well, okay, so here's a fun I'm reading a book. Then here's a fun fact. Abductions in the US about 68% of them are by grace. We're about a 20 to 25%. Are you going to tell me that the aliens have like specific sections of earth they're like, stay out of our territory? No, just different government

treaties, depending on the race of aliens. We've got like a contract with the with the grace. It's like, I take over many people that you fucking want. Yeah, specifically 150,000, I believe. Is there how would anyone know this? I don't have the time to go into it right now. Another episode. It has been said, it has been said in the UK. The statistics are a little bit reversed, where most of the abductions in the UK are by the tall white slash Nordics. The tall whites. Oh, so the very, the very, the very Swedish looking folk, long blonde hair, seven feet. There are some of the audience today.

If you are a tall white, please make yourself a quick show of hands. Who's been abducted by an alien before? Well, that's incredibly, we got one who's who is an alien? Who's seen an alien? Any star children out there? That's a hybrid. Sweet. Have you seen one star child? Who's seen a tall white? I mean, I've been to Sweden. I've seen a few in this convention. While we could say that they, they mined the stone entirely on the owns, aliens potentially grazer Nordics likely with the statistics out and that we have would have helped move most of the stones for them while they did mine out most of it and bring

it back. The aliens possibly helped by transporting the stones from Wales to where they ended up. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. Why did the aliens help? If you've got a pickup truck and your neighbor needs a lumber from this, from Home Depot and they come over and they say, Hey, man, can I borrow you pick up for like a couple of hours? You'd be like, Beep Orp, of course. MBD bro. Hashtag alien, hashtag blast. Why would the aliens see themselves as the neighbors of these like 300,000? Because humans are hybrids created by the aliens and we're kind of like their children. So they

want to help us out. It's like basically fish. A little on the top. It's not too much, not too little. Just give them enough to get a little bit of nourishment, get a little bit, get their brains going. They do most of the work themselves, but everyone wants to, maybe they're testing us to see if we'd be a good labor race for them to take later on to help them work on their spaceships. You get it. You know why Jesse laughs? Because he is an alien and he doesn't want us to know. He's like, he's like that. He's like that scene from men in black where it's like class. All right. All right. All right. Maybe they didn't move the stones for him, Jesse.

Maybe you're right. Maybe they didn't help them, but maybe they bequeathed the knowledge on how to accomplish such a task to our ancient human friends and watch to see how well we humans could take lessons, learn and adapt. In a sense, using us as we've used animals in the past, seeing what we were and were not capable of scientific experiments, ancient pack mules. Yeah. Or like, or mice, like mice dropped in a maze to see how well we do. Are we able to take orders well from them, et cetera. Can we make rope? So the plot is, so the plot is Stargate. I never seen Stargate. You've never seen Stargate? I have not. I prefer science. I prefer science fact. Next year's next year's convention is literally just us watching movies. Add it to the list.

It's just going to be at like a youth center in a suburb because we bought the rights to the Stargate franchise to screen it in England. It's no secret that England is a hotbed for alien activity, even to this day. What? It is, especially around Stonehenge and the surrounding complexes. There's plenty of pictures and even some videos of distant UFOs that are everywhere around the area. Even one incident in a crop circle where an investigator caught a tall thin figure, and there's, I saw this, you can go look it up, of a tall thin figure peeking up over the tall grass, looking at the investigators and then go back down and then disappear. What is it called? Patterns. Can we get that? Yeah, look for the picture. Tall thin figure peeking over what?

Like tall grass where investigators are looking at a crop circle that had appeared. English crop circle. English crop circle tall thin figure. Wild. It's a photo of it peering over the tall grass. We could just recreate that here and tell. Right. We could just, yeah, that's true. Haven't you seen that alien tower over across the park by like a cross from Nando's? It's probably an alien. You think Nando's came from aliens? It's, it's the spicy flavors are out of this world. It's convention is brought to you by Nando's. Get your chicken from Nando's. It's literally right up the street. It's right on the hill. But even if the aliens gifted us this knowledge on how to create such a thing or even helped early humanity, the question still of why

lingers. Some suggest that it was a way for them to track days in a type of calendar that the aliens gifted them the knowledge of so they could track the stars as we mentioned a little earlier, but also to understand when the aliens would be coming back. That's what I always heard is like, isn't, isn't the deal with Stonehenge and I'm, I've never been there, but like me either. Isn't the deal like it's like perfectly like, it like hits some stuff. If you like roll back the astral, astrological or whatever, like, if you take the like place. What? That's the alien. Put that back though.

Put that bullshit back. But there's also a ton of pictures of UFOs as well. What do you mean, what am I gonna do? It's a shame the picture wasn't better, but like, you know, that is the only way we have HD cameras back in the 80s. So it was a way for them to maybe track and keep in a kind of a calendar so when the aliens would be coming and going. But in turn, the aliens would give them knowledge as they would return. They were worshiped in a sense, like gods. It would make sense as well, in my opinion, as the theories that the stones are an early representation of our solar system, maybe each stone structure representative of a planet, a way to track our own astronomy.

But how would they even have known of such a thing, solar system and planets, without extraterrestrial knowledge in 3000 BC? It's true. Like, I mean, I don't know. I mean, to me, that's the key to what's like legitimately, like if you don't even go down the like conspiracy theory route, to me, that's a thing that I am very sorry to whoever I angered. What is that? I don't know. Is the AC gonna break? All right. All right. What I mean is sometimes the aliens like, stop it. If I just, if I just like, like, float it out of here, that'd be wild. No, but I just mean, like, you know, even without bringing aliens into the picture, like I've always thought that the reason that that Stonehenge is

so interesting is because it's like, you know, there is some sort of, you know, it seems like, you know, the pyramids where they're like, how is it possible that this angle like lines up perfectly in this thing? Right. Without them, especially at that particular time, there's no way they would have any knowledge of anything beyond their earthly stuff. What are you looking for? There's a ton of pictures of UFOs flying around Stonehenge too. You can look. No, I'm an idiot. I, you said something that really sparked me to look up Stonehenge top down view, but I forgot what it was. So now I just have a phone filled with Stonehenge top down view photos. I don't know what the hell you were talking about. The aliens UFOs, solar systems, red legs, the solar system. Yeah, looks nothing like the

solar system. All right, we're good. No, maybe representative of the, maybe the first ring is the, the asteroid belt and the outer ring is Pluto. What? Pluto's orbit. You're telling me that the aliens were like, you know, wait, what? Why am I saying aliens? There were no aliens. You said it, not me. Mind control must end. There's also the theory that it doesn't track the planets or the astronomy, but it was an early landing pad. No one would land on this. Well, maybe it didn't look like what we have at Stonehenge now though. Maybe it was a more complete structure back then. Or maybe if you, maybe if you land on it in a, in a, in a flying saucer, it fits right in between all the little, between the legs and

then you come down below, you come down out of the womb and you were into earth. There's theories that the, the Stonehenge actually had potentially a roof and whatnot on top as well. Like a helicopter pad. Yeah. Okay. Like an ancient, I watched an episode of ancient aliens for this information. So you know, it's true. No. Ancient aliens doesn't lie, dude. Yeah. I found the history channel, dude. That's a history channel too, man. That's like double the history. Yeah, that's double the history facts. I, I pinpointed the moment in that, in that episode where they went from telling you facts to jumping to conjecture, but presenting it as facts. It's when they jumped to that Egyptologist who wears the vest all the time. He was just talking about, he was just talking about all the

facts. And then he was like, and of course none of the humans would have known any of this. So it would have been aliens. There was just no, no positive theory. It was like, no, this was aliens. Easy peasy. Easy peasy, beautiful cover girl. So why would they want to build a stone, a landing pad? Well, if they kept coming down and using humans as a type of kind of labor animal, maybe they were taking some away the, the, the better built ones, the ones that serve the best and then take them up into the sky to help them build their spaceships elsewhere in the solar system. Or they were taking those that were of the finest breed of Neolithic human and using them as base DNA to create their first star children, which is you think the rock moving is like a,

like a, like a strength test to see. Yeah. Like it was to see who could, who could do what the best and who was a good leader, who, who could lift the most. Like a stress test. Yeah. It was like, it was like a test for them. I love that. To see who it was, who was, who was one of the star, of cross breeding into a star child. Jesse Van Halen landed and said, you are worthy of collecting seed for star children. I don't like you saying the word collecting seed. Well, that's, that's UF all across the world. Star child seed is unpleasant. Look, when the ufologists and the like gynecologists are like on it together, like to me, like, how can you not believe it? I'm with you. Don't worry. That's all you need. That's all it takes,

baby. It's so stupid. All right. So what happened to the alien? Like what, where are the aliens now? Yeah. Why would they leave? Well, that's a good question because there's, there's theories out there that the aliens themselves a few thousand years later, gone to a war with the reptilians that were living in the center of the earth. Stop. And that earth didn't belong to us or the graves or the Nordics first, that the reptilians were the actual owners of earth and that it's land of the lost. I'm pretty sure that's the blood of Dr. Who. And that the reptilians were so upset that they lost their planet to the graves or Nordics and all those other aliens that eventually what they ended up doing is going to war with early humans first. And then eventually they started

an entire war with the graves and tall whites and the Nordics and that the graves and the Nordics eventually lost that. Why are we calling them the Nordics? That's actually a people. The Nordics. Because they're, it's used as a kind of a term to understand what they look like more or less. That they're tall, white, blonde hair. It's real. It's part of the canon of aliens. Right. They're one of the 12 dominant alien species in our universe. What? What are the 12 dominant alien species? Off the top of my head. Reptilians, greys, tall. Oh, slow down. Reptilians who live on earth. Well, they did originally live on earth. Then they were forced to the center of the earth because the earth is hollow. We covered that. We went over this. Yeah. Come on. Of course. Okay. Yeah.

So the aliens are in the center of the earth. Yeah. Well, reptilian specific. But the, but so the reptilians are aliens. They're the original. Yeah. Correct. Correct. Technically they weren't. They were a very highly technological species that ended up becoming a space faring species going to war with the greys specifically because of the, what the greys were doing to earth, went to war, ended up getting. Okay. So we have reptilians, greys, greys. Everyone knows the greys tall whites. Okay. So let me, let me, let me specify tall whites and Nordics are not the same thing. Tall, right? That's four. So tall whites look like tall greys, but they're, they have white skin instead. And they're likely they're, they're considered potentially the race that controls the

greys and the greys are kind of a mix between organic and machine species that is used as a slave. That's four. Then you got the Nordics. The Nordics are the Nordics are the blonde-haired, beautiful people. No, stop it. You're just kissing ass now. Well, they're technically the nicest of them all. That's what I've heard. That's five. I heard they're no, no, no, that's four. Greys. Yeah. Nordics, reptilians, tall whites. That's four. Then you've got, there's a mantis-looking species. A mantis species. Like bugs. Yeah. They look like bugs. It's just Space Ghost Coast ghosts. No, I remember in a minute. Then Doug's like chugger. Glowing. All right. That's five. Glowing, glowing balls of light whose names I can't quite remember. Glowing

balls of light. Yeah. Like they're like an energy species. Navi, egg, Navi, the aliens. And then I can't remember the other six right off top, man. But that's, I mean, that's, you know, they're, they run the gamut. They do run the gamut. Yeah. But like people say, like some of them are like casts of like, you know, like, almost like how the Covenant from Halo works, where it's like a group of different species working together for a common goal, but they all have different jobs and stuff like that. But, but, you know, Earth being as beautiful as a planet and resource, resource rich and full of Oregon energy, it's a, it's a center point for a ton of contention as to whether species are allowed to come to Earth and harvest it and fight over it, or we should be left

alone to evolve or destroy ourselves at our own pace. But now that they don't land at Stonehenge, they just come in through gap. Well, they don't need to because they've made, they've made, they've made treaties with all the governments, depending on which government you talk about. The Greys are likely the ones that being the biggest treaty with the US. The tall, the Nordics made. Wait, but then why would the, if the Greys are robot? Well, they're, they're, they are believed to be, we don't know for sure. It's just a belief because it has been said. Right. By who? Those who have been abducted by them. You're telling me that if you were abducted by aliens, you would take the time to be like, why, those are robots. It's less about those are robots and more about how they

like tortured by robots, how they were behaving. And when the, the tall whites went into the room and how they would just become subservient to them immediately, the touch of their skin and how they didn't really have any body heat or bone. They kind of felt rubbery and levy. You're basically looking at a huge archive of primary sources of people, right? No. No, I'm not. I'm saying this is how you get theories like this, is that you look at 50 years or 60 years of alien abductions of lawyers and then you compare all the stories together and you just try and figure out like sort of like friends. Where's the common thread? What's, what, what typically happens with them? And the Greys are the ones that are typically trying to do crossbreeding. The theory is that

they can no longer reproduce anymore. So they're using us as kind of a base to, this is all just something, someone's all the movie. It's a movie plot. So yeah, but didn't we, but didn't we, but here's the thing, the movies have that plot to help humanity. Stop this. No, no. This was, this circle logic is the worst. This was really declassified information from, uh, yes, I think Franklin Roosevelt's time. FDR was like, so check it out. So check it out. I'm American. Thank God we have you on the podcast. Yeah, I think I went over this before on the show, but like basically they declassified some stuff maybe like 10 years ago or so where the idea was to make a think tank because they're like, yo, something's going on. Like people are seeing something. What is it?

And they just, they, it wasn't like aliens are real and here's what we did right in the documents, but basically they were like, let's make a think tank to tackle the idea of how to break the news of aliens to people if it turns out that aliens are real. And so what they did was they, they came together and they talked and they decided that the best way to do it was to like start off by making it seem like completely outrageous. Get me Gene Roddenberry. Yeah, no legit, like make it, make it, make it seem ridiculous, introduce it into popular culture, add sprinkling more and more details of the truth until finally, you know, we start declassifying documents, the evidence becomes too big to ignore, uh, you know, and I want to just say that in the

last what two months to, yeah, I mean, the last two years have seen the most declassification of government projects than we've seen in 20 years. And, and it was projects that they openly denied that existed to the public that now we know were real. Yeah. And the pace, the pace is, the pace is quickening. It's very, it's rapid right now. And, uh, there's even a, an adoption case where they said they saw Bill Clinton on the ship. Yeah. Because he, when he went, if you remember, when he went into office, his big thing was I wanted, I want to know as many aliens as possible. I want to have sex with as many aliens as possible. And, and he, he wanted to, the theories he wanted to stop the abduction of US citizens. And the grays were like, they, they took him on the abduction

and more or less, you can't stop us. And they were showing him how powerless he was to stop them from doing what they were doing and that the treaty was going to hold one way or another. All right. But then can we have sex together? There is a machine that send the tubes up your Yeehaw and, and just pulls out all the, all the seed. Stop saying the word seed. I don't like that. It's very clinical. That's so creepy. Stop it. Well, yeah. I mean, now, you know, you can't look, I mean, so I know this is bullshit is because when's the last time we saw a show based on grace? Not for a while. Yes. Because if they're trying to prepare us for that, why wouldn't there be like,

and now the greater sins and it's a show of like, because everybody knows about great. Yeah, they're sticking to the plan. Now the plan is to like, they established the image of aliens and pop culture. And if you drive to Las Vegas, you know for sure that everybody knows, at least in America, what the idea of aliens is now, every road stop or whatever you have, like aliens. And now instead of instead of making it zany and crazy, it's going to be like, no, no, but actually it's real. You know what I mean? And I think, and I think, and I think that's, uh, it's an interesting idea. But I mean, even Trump, when he first was like going around before he got elected, he was saying like, you know, oh my God, I'm going to bake aliens. Like if I get elected president,

I'm going to like release all the alien stuff. I'm going to release it. But I really, I think, I think like, uh, I think I'm going to show them my seed. I think like, uh, I don't know that got gross with that one. Yeah, I don't know. You never know. You don't, you never know. And I think, you know, by September 20th, we're going to have some real answers because either why September 20th, because that's the day when 300,000 people are going to storm air into your heads around their heads and not to run all across the gates and liberate the information that we have been holding behind closed doors since 1947. Roswell, New Mexico, Jesse. Exactly. They're all going to die.

I god damn love this show. I want to like, I want to like go to like a sand dune. Like the binoculars. Like, I want to like watch it from far away. We'll bring the remix music and we'll just play it as they Naruto run into their own gunfire. Yeah, I want to be like, uh, the hobbit in two towers when that, when he's eating like food with the king and like it keeps cutting to the battle of people running and he's like singing that. So you know what everybody's dying as a historian, let me just tell you what this will really be like during the very first battle of the civil war. Yeah. People sat and watched and like their finery because they thought it was going to be like a one time thing. And uh, as they watched, they were like, Oh,

shit, we shouldn't be here. It's going to be you guys. And the fabric and the fabric of America changes forever around us. Nothing's ever the same. And they were burying us for change. And the war for truth just keeps on rolling for the next never end war. Last 10 years, 100 years. It never ends. Yeah, I'm really truly never. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, I want the aliens released and they come for you guys. I don't know where to be. I'm going to be getting like sucked into a ship. I'm just going to be shouting, I told you, Jesse, I told you, I will be at home playing warcraft. Like, I wonder what the guys are up to. We're running out of time, but let's cover a couple other things really quickly. Okay, okay.

Beyond the war that they ended up losing, which forced them to disappear for a while, there's a possibility that they were just using this to, like we said, observe their star children. Or earth is nothing more than a giant intergalactic zoo. And every animal, most of the animals and specifically us were created by aliens and then planted on this planet where life can thrive. And as they watched and saw that the humans were the ones that were evolving and being, you know, becoming intelligent and starting to build societies and like, that's when they started to interfere with us and start teaching us things, teaching us how to build Stonehenge and teaching us how to make tools and kind of push us further into

the direction of super hardcore turtle race. Yeah, sure. Yeah, like a super turtle race. Exactly. You know what doesn't happen at zoos? One animal killing off many other animals permanently. Well, this is like a future alien zoo, though, like a whole planet zoo. We can't possibly understand it. It's exactly. You get it. Exactly. We can't understand their motives. You think they're under the aliens who are like, I really enjoyed Dodo's and now I'm pretty pissed about this. Have you ever? Okay. Have you ever played spore? I mean, I tried to play it. Yeah, it's not a real. It's not great. You get what I'm saying. Like, there's there's something to the idea of just doing something for the fuck of it. I mean,

they are, you know, you're telling me the alien intelligence. Yeah. Their actual plan was, let's see what happens. Is it really? Is it really harder to believe than that there was just nothing? And then there was an explosion with a scientific method to battle royale. Is that what somebody said? Earth was a battle. The first battle royale. It's like the eight first eight million server of like Fortnite species to hold it long wins. I'm just saying like the big bang theory is like, we all accept it because like scientists say that it's true. And that's what you should do. But in terms of just like the basic premise of it, it's just as crazy as anything else. Sure. Yeah. But that's why it has theory on the end of it. But I mean, I like the theory

because it means that we're not in any way significant. Right. Really. It's just like, like, beat bop the alien shows up and he's like, I'm gonna throw my species on this rock and see which one wins. Like, build me some legs so I can land. Oh, beat bop the alien. The last two theories that I'm going to pause it. How are there two more theories? They're very quick. Don't worry. The last one, it comes from Dan Ackroyd himself. Dan Ackroyd. He's a ghost buster. He loves aliens. He knows some stuff. He believes that Earth is just a tourist trap for aliens. That it's just such a beautiful planet that they just come to visit. And when they saw humans for the first time, they just fell in love with our species and guided us to enlightenment. That's some bullshit.

That's what we did to like a bunch of like tribes. Yeah, I know. So that's like terrible. We just built like a hotel where their sacred lands are. Maybe that's what they did to us, you know? Maybe that's what Stonehenge is. Was that an alien hotel? I would believe that more than anything. Alien corporate training retreat. Yeah. Get some logs, put them next to each other, watch out for the locals. Don't try the seafood after Sunday. What does that mean? It means it went bad. On Sunday, it's the worst day to have seafood. Why? Because they replenish it the next day. Monday's catch, baby. Yeah, Monday catches the day. You get it. If you're like in a landlock, don't worry about it. It's okay. That's

it. And the last theory is not aliens at all. Merlin did it, dude. It was Merlin, dude. Yeah. He literally did it as a show of power and a place for people to gather. It was my man Merlin, my dad. Merlin, man. But there's also, but the reason that's important, because it leads into the other theory that Stonehenge sits directly on a ley line, which is a source of energy and power, and that it helped channel magical energy for other users of the arcane, if you will, to power themselves. You know that video, the guy's like, it's Wednesday, my dudes. Now he's just, it's Merlin, my dude. It is Merlin, my dude. The unfortunate truth is though that while we have theories, no one knows for sure.

Not even the people on the tour know. The people who are telling you they're like, what is, and then they stop, the video ends and you're like, it's purpose. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. For me, I think you know. You think what? You think, I think you know my belief. What is your belief? I don't know. Alien, tell me. Why? Oh, okay. What do you think? I think that the farthest that I'm willing to say is that it seems to me like Stonehenge is a pretty like interesting place. Like, I feel like it's, I feel like it's not. That's the most political answer in the world. I'll let you know, what a great nonnance. All I mean is, all I mean is that I believe that there's something about it that's, that's, that's in some way like, you know how everybody talks about like the library of Alexandria

and how it was like lost and all this old, burnt to the ground. Yeah. And there's all this ancient knowledge and some of it we still haven't rediscovered and stuff like that. I think, I think that Stonehenge is one of those places on the earth where we, they, you know, the people who made it had access to some information that maybe we don't know that they had access to in some way and we're able to make something. Well, because the truth of the aliens lie in the knowledge that burned down. Yeah, exactly. That's why they burnt down the library. The tall whites came in. Well, it's probably the reptilians that burned the knowledge down because they wanted their earth back. Right. That's probably where they came out. But I just like, for me, for me, like,

almost certainly it has been said, but I like, I just think like the fact that it lines up with like celestial bodies. It does sit on a ley line. Like the ley line stuff, like I know a lot of people say ley lines are hogwash, but I mean, they're, I mean, they are like, it's crazy that so many things. Yeah. We wanted to dive super deep into Stonehenge. We need like another hour or two, but like, it's really just one piece of the larger puzzle of like ancient monuments that like don't have some sort of like any metaphysical significance. I feel that by saying that ancient peoples couldn't create ancient monuments, but they could by themselves without the intervention of aliens or whatever, diminishes those people. I'm not saying they can't build them. I'm just saying like,

there's a couple monuments out there that seem to have some sort of relationship with a system of information that we don't know or science that we don't quite get. And I'm willing to say that I think that there's something to that line of conspiracy thinking. Like maybe it was the place Mothman was birthed from. Yeah, maybe it's like a birthing right out the like right out mother earth is open legs. I will say the one thing that is very interesting about all of this is when I was in Mexico and I went to Chitzenitza, there is a area that's a giant like astrological site. And there for some reason are a bunch of carvings of a bunch of different animals. And there are carvings of elephants, but there are no elephants in South America.

That's what I'm saying. And that I think is interesting. I was like, how did that happen? Yeah, I think that there's some level of access or something that ancient people had that we just don't we lost. And I think Stonehenge is a great example of like what you can point to to be like, how the hell is this thing? I mean, it's not like, I think not a policy. I think how they move the rocks is like a mistake. I think it's more of a focus on why they put the rocks in the configuration that they did. And whether or not that the spacecraft that landed on it was too heavy. Well, no, because space spaceships are made out of material we don't have that's weirdly light and makes no noise. And what stop? No, it has been set. Well, when we when we eventually

cover area 51, and we talk about the materials that they found, are we going to cover it before after all this waiting for the ending? No, we're just waiting for the ending. So like, we can talk about the whole story very 51, right when it's finally destroyed in the Great Ninja War of 2009. The Great Ninja War of 2019. Gamers rise up! Gamers! We are out of time. I want to say thank you guys so much for coming and listening to Shulum and I is podcast has been an absolute blast to do from beginning to end. And I wouldn't be able to do with all you without all you guys listening. So thank you very much. And I can't wait to explore weirder and weirder stuff. And eventually, once we're done with all the baseline alien stuff,

Skinwalker Ranch is pretty peak weird. Right now, I'm looking into birds are fake. Yes. Well, the last bird died 10 years ago, and all of them are now drones controlled by the world government to keep an eye on all of its civilians and know who they need to take out and who they can let live. Just looking into it, you know, I'm just just testing the waters. Baby toes in. Not you. You don't do baby toes in first. You just you die. Yeah, I'm dipping in. We'll see what happens. Guys, we're gonna have a scary game squad is gonna be taking pics. I'll be signing. It's gonna be doing right out there. But that's it. Oh, I hope you guys enjoyed. Thank you

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