Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 109 - Minisode Compilation 13

Episode Date: July 13, 2021

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Hello my little children aunts. Yes sir. Welcome back. It's a chill mini number 39. Yum yum yum yum yum. 39th mini-sode. Kind of nice. Isn't it?

Wow, Jesse's joining in now. Oh, we got him. You ever think about how three threes is nine? Damn. Wow. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, wow.

And that's it. That's this week's mini-sode. See you guys next week. See you next week. Audio, okay. Well, sometimes the knowledge that we drop, it's so strong that that's just the show. That's it. Yeah, that's true.

Part of our runtime is you thinking about it for 15 minutes. Jesus 12. Oh, Jesus 12. All right. The mini-sode is just because you're excited. We just do math. I'm excited. You're hitting me first.

Well, I feel like I want to give you a story. This is kind of a Cox and Crendo crossover with this podcast. A podcast crossover. Future guest. Future guest. I'm Chiluminati. We found this article. It's weird.

It is, you will not expect this twist and turn, but it is about David Lynch. So maybe you will. Okay. Here we go. Okay. This is a photo. This is a description of a photo. In the photo.

I know exactly what this is. Oh, I know what this is. In the photo, David Lynch is sitting on a couch and next to him are five Woody Woodpeckers, stuff Woody Woodpeckers. And this is the description of the photo. And I can't even, I have so many questions. I'm just going to take you on a ride. All right.

Here we go. What? David Lynch is recalling a day in 1981 when he says he rescued five Woody Woodpecker toys that he saw hanging up as he drove past a petrol station. I screeched on the brakes. I do a U turn, go back and I buy them and I save their lives. He says seriously, I named them Chaco, Buster, Pete, Bob and Dan. And they were my boys.

And they were in my office. They were my dear friends for a while, but certain traits started coming out in them. And they became not so nice. They are my boys. Looking straight ahead, he says with grim finality, they're not in my life anymore. What? What is this? That's the caption of this photo.

So it's just, it's David Lynch looking like normie-ass 90s David Lynch. Yes. And he's on a couch with five exact replica Woody Woodpecker stuffed figures, stuffed toys. And he says he saw them at like a gas station. Did a U turn to go get them? Which is great. I don't know how he saw them driving by, but did a U turn to get them?

Woody Woodpeckers? Then he bought them, took them to his office, gave them names. He said they were my boys. And they were at my office. Chaco, Buster, Pete, Bob and Dan. And then the insanity is he then ends it with, they were my dear friends for a while, but certain traits started coming out and they became not so nice. They are not in my life anymore.

Do you think it's like performance art? I don't know. I don't know because it's David Lynch. Because it's David Lynch. I don't know if this is a man who desperately needs help or if it's just David Lynch being David Lynch. Yeah. He's maybe the weird, like, you know how weird it is when you're watching Twin Peaks

for the first time and you don't know what's going to happen and then fucking Josie Packard turns into a fucking like doorknob or whatever the fuck she turns into. I just that shit is like so fucked up in a way that like your brain would never think of that. There are every time I've watched David Lynch stuff, especially his like weird shorts. I don't those shorts are I don't know how to I don't know how to explain it to anyone. But I also know that deep underneath this is perhaps David Lynch was a normal person and then five Woody Woodpeckers came to life and tortured this man.

He was just like a tech dad with a fanny pack in 91. And then he was like, I will make eraser had. I named him Choco, Buster, Pete, Bob and Dan. They were my friends for a while, but certain traits started coming out and they became not so nice. They're not in my life anymore. What do you think they did? What do you think they did together?

Like, what do you think their friendship was about? I don't know. I don't I don't understand. Which one of them was he sleeping with? What traits? What certain traits came out? He was Choco. Who would he make watch?

Dan. Yeah. Dan's a watcher. Dan's a watcher. Got it. Dan's a Dan's a watchers name. Sorry, Dan. I just can't.

I can't. It's the craziest. It is three paragraphs that I have read repeatedly today and I can't get over how insane those three paragraphs are. I think I start to finish. I think he really is a genius. Oh, like he's operate. He's operating on another level.

You know what I mean? Like he knows how I feel about these five Woody Woodpecker dolls. I don't know if either of you keep up with him currently, but he's on YouTube. He has a you. So this is what he's doing. It's not sure what's happening right now. Yeah. But his YouTube channel for the beginning part of COVID, it was him at home and he

to the first, the first couple of videos he made, he would be like, today I'm going to tell you the weather, the weather in California is, and he just give a weather report. But in the background was this weird jar and it kept getting painted and people are like, what is that jar? What is that jar? What is that jar? And he would never mention it. It would just be there.

And then eventually he like, he like, this is my number jar and we're going to draw numbers from the jar. And so he starts drawing numbers. And then he never draws seven and everyone's like, why does he pick up seven? Well, it's been weeks. Why no seven? And people are just like losing their minds. Then finally he draws a seven.

He's like seven and everyone's like, what is he doing? It's crazy. Imagine having that reputation. I would kill for that. I would kill to have that reputation. Meanwhile, he's literally just drawing numbers from a jar and reading the weather. And people are like, what does it mean? People are like, it's amazing.

I used to be friends with a Woody Woodpecker. And then everybody's like, what is this guy? What is he doing to me? It's wild because you know, it's either one of two things. He's just like, these people are going to go crazy while I draw numbers and I'll never draw seven. Or he's like trying to tell some fucking Waco story that you can't piece together until you dissect it for 20 hours.

I watched him do a video where he was like, I'm going to teach you how to make broccoli. He like steams the broccoli with like chicken bouillon water. And he's like, OK, now we've got to wait eight minutes. Come with me. And you go out on the balcony with him. And he's like, when I was in the desert, I went on this train. He tells us like whole story about how he like went out in the desert and he got a bottle of Coca-Cola and he like gave it to somebody who'd never had Coca-Cola before.

And it like blew his mind or something like that. I do not remember the actual story, but it was like some weird story about that. And he was like, anyway, let's get back to the broccoli and just went back inside. And he was like, and this is a good broccoli for you to eat. And but in the middle of it, for no reason, he just tells this like extremely bizarre, long-winded story outside. I love, I honestly love that so much. I just get, I just want to go look today.

His today's number today as he's 13121. The comments are like, man, if we don't get two sevens in a row, I'm going to lose it. And this person's like still waiting for 11 to come up. That would be very Lynchian. Why would it be? I don't know. I don't know. People out there are like, ah, he drew another three.

The three committee will be happy. What does that mean? The comments are just as crazy. How many views is he pulling down? Like for real? Is he putting us to shame? He is. I will say that this video has 6000 views and 227 comments that came up today.

I don't know what time. Yesterday. It's pretty fast. 12 hours ago. The numbers clearly do not do as well as his weather report. David Lynch is a 13121 weather report. 12 hours ago, 23,000 views. And it's just him for one minute giving the weather and not even like a weird way.

You can see in the reflection of his sunglasses. He's just reading the weather report off a computer. Yeah. But it's David Lynch saying it. How Lynchian. I mean, you're not wrong, I guess. That is the most technical definition of Lynchian. I just I I'm so I'm so I had no idea that he was like doing stuff on the reg.

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He's basically done. Right. So every out of the, uh, what is it season three? Twin Peaks season three. That was the last thing he did. Right. That was it. That was the last thing that I know of that he put out, but like, I don't know what he's

up to. Like apparently he's doing some shit. Apparently when you leave him alone for too long, he starts to like multiply Woody Woodpecker dolls. All right. Uh, I'm going to go to the next one real quick because this is one Jesse's aware of and actually have questions here. We're going to cover this because we might as well.

Okay. Has science solved the Dia love past mystery? This is the third time we're revisiting this goddamn. This is, this is the goof one that I sent you where it was big foot with a space laser. Uh, no, this is a different one. That was on national geographic. Not, not where it was big foot the entire time. Gotcha.

No, there's two that came out. There's the real one, like some real one. Science is saying, um, that the, uh, this was published on the 20th of January, 2021. So just a few days ago by Robin George Andrews on a national geographic and they are once again saying it is, um, a, um, uh, an avalanche, but as a small avalanche that was delayed and proceeded by a lot of like heavy, like kind of drifting snow. And the reason the tents were all ripped open, it was because the tents were being smothered. And so they needed to get out because the avalanche was coming and the stuff that was

hitting them was, um, like smothering the tents. Okay. And so they cut their way out, left, but dragged some people that were already not in already good shape. And that's why they looked like there were people that were kind of like in weird positions. They're not sure what happened afterward though, like why they were in trees and stuff like that. But the, the, they do fully believe that the reason, uh, that they left was because of this

weird delayed small avalanche that came in. Well, could they have gone up in the trees to avoid being hit by like, we'll get up higher and the snow doesn't hit us and we don't end up under it. Maybe they're basically just saying though, they don't have a reason to explain why all the bodies where they were, the tongue, me being missing and all that stuff and whatnot. But that, you know, the, the theories continue from then you, they're looking at theories that we already covered in the episode, which was like, was it Russia? Was the Russian go?

Oh, good question. Who paid for this? I remember, I remember a story that we read recently that was like the cases back open or something like that. Yeah, that, that, that was a couple of months ago. Um, but, uh, an article published today in the journal is the Journal of Communications, Earth and Environment. Research is presenting data pointing to the likelihood that a bizarrely small delayed avalanche may

ever be responsible for the gruesome injuries and deaths of nine experienced. What is the name of this journal? Communications, Earth and Environment is what National Geographic is sourcing. Let's click on this. So this is Nate. It's nature.com. That bring that goes to this. Johann Guam and Alexander Husserin, Pusserin.

You can click on them. Alexander Pusserin is, uh, an institute for geotechnical engineering. Oh, this is Switzerland. Switzerland. Two Switzerland scientists did this. Wow. The other one was Johann Guam, School of Architecture, Civil and Environmental Engineering, EPFL, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But they're both, you know, not nobodies and it wasn't Russia. It's actually like, I'll link the article. This is a legit study. Yes. Here, I'm linking it right here into the Zoom chat. You can actually go look at what they're talking about smothering and where the wind slab was coming. It literally has the abstract and the introduction, the results. Oh, this is the full on study.

Okay. Like graphs and charts and all sorts of things. Wow. Yep. This isn't BS. Okay. Nope. Yep.

This is not BS. This is from a few days ago. Not the meme article that you, uh, that you had. Although again, who sponsored the study? I'll look into that. How? Yeah, it's true. I mean, how do you know that there wasn't a big foot?

At sponsoring the study? Yeah. Like, how do you spend their money? Great question. Well, here's something. In 2015, the investigative committee of the Russian Federation reopened the investigation. And in 2019 concluded that a snow avalanche was the most probable cause of the accident. The Russian Federation opened it?

That was through the 2015 to 2019. The same Russian Federation that hit them with lasers? Not exactly. Exactly. Russian space lasers. It's consistent with this study, what they said, right? Yes. That's what it seems like it's consistent.

Interesting. Uh, based on the significant amount of data published material, it seems that previous investigations lack an important ingredient. A quantifiable physical mechanism that can reconcile the avalanche hypothesis with seemingly a conflicting evidence. Identifying such a mechanism may provide new insights into the nature of storm triggered snowpack instabilities, which is another important motivation for this work. So they're basically saying like, they concluded all this stuff, but they don't, they still

were missing like the, it didn't make sense. There was missing puzzle piece and they created the missing puzzle piece. This is how they think it went down. Amazing. I, this is a very thorough investigation. I mean, this is, there is so much math in this that I'm surprised. A slope angle and friction because they have a whole topography of it and like the whole area.

Uh, yeah. I mean, if I'm going to take a, I mean, this is some, this is an insane breakdown. I mean, look, I know that people who don't understand it and just want the mystery to be alive are just going to take one look at the study and say, no, it's a lie. But that's not the kind of thinking that you can, that you can do anymore. Just look at it. Read it. And just equations are just like my brain hurts.

Yeah. But I mean, like, how can you trust a thing where H is a number? Come on. Nice. Right. What are we in? What is this? Letter town.

Letter fractions. What are letter fractions? Uh, anyway, yeah, that's what I want to bring to the table. I don't know. I thought you had actually thought of this, Jesse, but, um, uh, no, I'm not seeing this. I had seen the one that said Bigfoot, uh, shot them all. But now we know. Yeah.

Uh, speaking of, I just want to put, I just want to put this out there. Dia Lov Pass episode was like two years ago. That was episode 11. Tell me things like that because I was younger then. Younger then. That was August of 2018. We could actually like hang out with like see each other. Remember when we did?

Yeah. Like we did a live show. I remember. Yeah. The only city. Yeah. Of our show tour. Yeah.

That was it. It was Boston. Yeah. Well, our audience has grown since then. So the next one in 10 more years, whatever it'll be. I can't wait for Alex to fall in more piss water. That was invigorating though. Let's be real.

Like, I felt like I was in a shadow punk show again. It felt great. I know it's weird. The one ballroom they closed down because of the pandemic, unfortunately. No. Yeah. Not enough live events, huh?

No. Yeah. Surprise. Damn. Alex, you got anything for us? Yes, I do. I do have something from December from Metro. .co.uk, which is a website whose slogan is news ellipses,

but not as you know it. So picture this. Okay. It's just a little bit before Christmas. Okay. You're the mom of the house. You got your groceries. You got your vegetables.

You got to prepare some food for your clan to eat. You're in Essex, England. Oh, okay. Okay. And you're, you're just doing the little thing that you normally do with your sprouts. You go, you, you, you top and tail them. You caught them.

You put a little cross on the bottom so they cook better. We know this. But imagine, I'm going to just read the quote ready. I was taking out the sprouts, topping and tailing them and putting a cross on the bottom when I saw a face. And I remember thinking, oh my God, it could be Jesus. Oh no. I'm so excited.

So I sent you guys a link to the picture of a Brussels sprouts Jesus. And I'm just going to read you guys, I'm going to read you guys some quotes from this article. So I left the sprout in a corner cupboard and he just sat up there for a little while. I thought it was funny and it was even funnier because I found him just before Christmas.

When I saw the face, I shouted to the kids, look, I don't know if it's Johnny Depp or Jesus. It reminds me of that meme that's out there that I don't know if it's true or not where they said they gave their grandmother a gift saying it was a picture of Jesus and it's a picture of Obi-Wan Kenobi from Attack of the Clones. Yes, yes, yes.

But yeah, when I spotted this particular sprout, I thought it was funny. It just made me laugh. I said to my friends, I wish for Johnny Depp for Christmas and I got him at the bottom of a sprout. I like them roasted with a little bit of Parmesan or with a little bit of maple syrup and nutmeg or a little bit of bacon.

Oh, maple syrup. I've never tried that before. And then this article ends with the greatest quote that I've ever heard in an article, which is Jesus, the Brussels sprout was put in the recycling bin after he started looking less like Jesus. And it was enough to get her name in the paper. It looks a lot like Jesus to its credit and she also got a

picture of herself and her two kids, which is, you know, always fun. It also kind of looks like Hitler wearing a hood or Johnny Depp. Do you not see what I'm saying? It has a little Johnny Depp though. Yeah, I see that. I see the Johnny Depp.

I see the Hitler. I see the Jesus. But I also see like, uh, I see like, uh, who, who does it even remind me of? Like, like Uncle Rico. Like, like he's got like that sort of like, like almost like the human version of Snoopy's cousin. You know, that other, that other Beagle.

Yeah. I'm talking about. Yes. He's just got that like, my name is Earl energy on this, on this Brussels sprout. I don't know. My favorite part is the image of the family. The kids, it looks like how you would imagine a modern

British family. You know what I mean? Like there's the old way, you know, like, you know, 50 years ago, what you imagine a Brit looked like. And now there's like the modern Brit family. It looks exactly like how you would imagine them. Yeah. Shout out to that kid in the Yankees hat though.

That's. Represent. Represent. Uh, but shout outs to Essex. Shout outs to, uh, fuck it. Shout outs to Jesus. Shout outs to. Everyone.

Absolutely. Yeah. What a, what a pleasant little story to end this little mini-sode on. Thanks so much, Alex for tying it up with a smile and a Brussels sprout. Jesus. I'm linking this in the subreddit right now.

Excellent. Without any context. Excellent. All right. That's it for us guys. We'll be back next week with another mini-sode following our next episode. Thank you guys for the support on the Patreon as always.

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Very good. Hello, my little chaloo. I hate it. I still hate it. Is that a Mathis impression? That's Mathis's patented greeting to these minisodes. Guys, welcome to the minisode. This is the minisode for episode 89 of the show, which

featured Davis as a guest. Davis is here on the minisode as well. What a treat for you guys listening to this months later and being like, oh, wow, another episode with Davis. Unless you didn't like me. And then it's like, ah, fuck this guy. Unless you didn't like me. He said it himself, folks.

Patreon.com is who you have to thank for being able to hear this at all. But if you want to hear them right as we finish our episode, they're uploaded at the exact same time. So if you're enjoying these and you want to hear them as they come in a little more timely manner, go ahead and sign up there. Thank you so much for listening.

We really appreciate it. But also today in lieu of articles, it's a little special. Just because we have a guest here, I thought it would be fun to do listener stories for today's minisodes. So I got each of us a little listener story to read. So Jesse, I have one for you here to kick us off. I hope you don't mind. This one was specifically for you.

So there it is in the chat for you there. Go ahead and check it out. A story specifically for me? That's right. Oh, no. All right. Wow. This is a long one.

Okay. A story for Jesse. The possessed baby. This is by Dr. Philly. It was just too good. Like I couldn't... Is she referring to you as the possessed baby? No, I hope not.

The possessed baby is the title of the story. I hope I'm not involved. The possessed baby, aka the possessed baby, aka Crocosaurus Rex. Hi, everyone. Long time listener from the Netherlands here. Feel free to use this story in the podcast, guys. I've told it many times in publications, really.

And even on national television a couple of times in my country. What? Okay. I feel like most community stories here are focused on pleasing Alex and Mike. However, this story is one that will please Jesse for once. I feel like he deserves a win, too. Poor guy. This story starts back in 2008.

I was about 12 years old. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What a baby. Oh, my God. That makes me feel so... Also, great summer of movies. We got Dark Knight, Iron Man, Hellboy 2.

Oh, wow. Tropic Thunder. What a year. Great. I was about 12 years old and sitting in a restaurant with my family on holiday in Portugal. I've always wanted to go. It's amazing. Me, too.

I like your story. It's all true. Let's talk about the three of us. Let's make the plan now. I was like, we should do time in Portugal before Coxconn. I would love to go to Portugal. I have a very close friend of which I am... Oh, I have a very close family of which I am the youngest.

I have two older sisters and an older brother. We were enjoying the warm summer evening on the terrace at night, having some refreshing drinks and reminiscing tales of our family. We were talking about weird facts about my siblings from when they were younger. My brother would fall a lot as a kid, but just stand back up with a big smile on his face. Turns out he was always a tough MF'er with a big heart. My youngest sister had bad reactions to paracetamol, which triggered epileptic seizures, which almost killed her a couple of times.

Oh my God. My oldest sister almost got abducted by a creep as a kid. Those kinds of stories. That's the kind of story. I think every big family has a couple similar stories that are weird, concerning, funny, or downright bizarre. Look, I almost decapitated my cousin. It's fine.

We all have those stories. What? It was at Disneyland. We were riding in boats. It's true. I almost fell off a cliff because I slipped in my cousin's 7-up. I was at Badlands. Everyone has a weird, crazy story from when they were a kid that somehow survived.

Yeah. It seems like my brother and sisters had many things going on with him in the past. Broken relationships, getting lost in the supermarket, you name it. Then the attention turned to me, the Benjamin of the group. My mom explained that she always thought there was something special about me. A medium once told her that I had a sixth sense of sorts, and I would achieve great things on a spiritual level. In the end, I became a TV performer in psychological illusionism.

I guess she was right while being very wrong. My acts are based on trickery and psychology, not paranormal. Interesting. I feel like a lot of magicians who do the whole magicians thing, they know they're tricking. They'll say, I'm about to lie to you, and then they'll do something and be like, gotcha, fools. Yeah. The good ones will do that.

Where was I? When I apparently knew things, I shouldn't have been able to know. Like the unannounced pregnancy of a friend, of the family, including the gender, that sort of thing. My mom told me that these grand stories about me doing impossible things, I could not remember any of it. My dad would shake his head here and there and disbelieving in a contradictory way. He is not a spiritual person at all, however, suddenly he remembered something interesting.

The tone of his voice suddenly became very serious among all the strong tales my mother told, which he told us to take with a kilogram of salt. I love that. European. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. There was one instance that he could not explain. Apparently when I was one, not exactly an infant, but still a baby, there was something very

serious going on with me up until the age of one. I was a particularly chill baby, not much crying and very cute, which is still a fact. How strange. This is my favorite part, which is still a fact to this day. Not much crying. Still a chill baby. But suddenly, starting at some random day, my parents would wake up to me crying and in complete panic.

So they would go upstairs and soothe me and get me back to sleep. I would be well. I would be peacefully, peacefully asleep. They go back downstairs. But 10 minutes later, bam, I would be crying, kicking and screaming again. This would happen multiple times at night and go on for weeks. So my parents took me to a doctor, took me to a doctor, I assume threw me on a slab and we're like, fix our kid, yo.

That's how that's good parenting. Hell yeah. Since we live in a country where health care is not only free, but also very high quality. Thanks. This is an attack. Specialists were involved. I was put through a plethora of tests. Would you say it's a plethora, a plethora of tests?

The doctors could find nothing wrong with me. My parents were very concerned and felt powerless. There was something wrong with their youngest baby and they were still recovering from a miscarriage before me since it didn't, uh, since it didn't stop. My mother was convinced it must have been a haunting. It must have been haunted. What? 17th century house that used to be a brothel, a hospital, a morgue, and was headquarters

for a group of Waffen SS that got killed by mortar in the room where I slept. You are haunted. Holy shit. Jesus. If there was a haunting, it would be in this house. It's an entire doctor who episode in one bedroom. The house, beautiful as it is, had a creepy vibe, a vibe. I'll share some pictures that are publicly available so you can see what I'm talking

about. And there are pics here. Oh, wow. It is a beautiful home. This is a look at that. Look at that pool. Wow. This is an incredibly beautiful home.

Also third picture is what I assume is the sign of the brothel that was there before. Right? This is so gorgeous. Yeah. God, this is nice. There's this house. Definitely has a history. It looks like the house.

It looks like the house from the girl from the dragon tattoo though. It's not like I'm like a, I love that. I love like modern styling stuff. So it's not my style. But like, if I just like had this house, I'd be like, I could live a happy life here. The difference with it being in Europe over like something of that style in America is that like it's real. You know what I mean?

Like it's not like manufactured to fit a vibe. It's like, no, this is, it's actually is that vibe. Yeah. What? So I love the whole bridge of the little stream and the, what a, what a quaint, totally haunted house. I completely believe that you were haunted. I can like see what was it Alma?

What was the fear three? I could see like a weird ghost child walking across the like pool and like just light footsteps in the water wild. So my mom started inviting mediums. My dad strongly disapproved, but still kept one eye shut because he didn't know what to do either. The strongest medium as my mom says, I also don't know what this means. She probably, she was probably archmage at Winterhold or something.

Gotcha. Skyrim. Gotcha. Was certain that the house was not only possessed by many deceased souls, but it was demon infested. My mom went into total protection mode and had the whole house cleansed. They held seances to repel the demons. My mom invited her witches coven to control the spirits. She was into Wicca at the time, just a little note.

Oh yeah. By the way, she had a witches coven. No big deal. However, nothing seemed to help. In fact, it got even worse as time went on. My parents thought of moving, but they had their business where we lived and the house was a huge investment. I mean, I can tell that the house is gorgeous.

But then when they were at their most desperate, it suddenly stopped. It just stopped. No more night terrors for baby Dr. Philly. I got older. My parents never told anyone about the incident. Growing up in the house had some bumps in the night, which is common for an old creaky house like that, but nothing crazy as the haunted baby ever happened. As my dad finished the story in the Portuguese restaurant, my mom got a little emotional.

My sisters asked questions about if they were figured it out. My dad shook his head. Suddenly my brother started snickering from the end of the table. He started laughing. My dad got annoyed and was like, dude, this is a very serious subject. Why are you laughing? My brother went, well, I guess now is a good time as any to come clean. Oh my God.

Oh, the Jesse Twist. I love this. My parents were dumbfounded. What did their idiot son do now? Play with the Ouija board, sell his soul to the devil for a PS1, Mathis. Sell my soul for a new skateboard. Turns out he thought it was funny to sneak out of his bed in the middle of the night, softly walk up the stairs to my room, grab ahold of me while shaking me violently.

Whoa. Wake up, Dr. Philly. Wake up. Then I would be in a complete panic, not knowing what was going on and not be able to make use of words to explain what was happening. My brother would then sneak back downstairs, pretend to be asleep. My parents got up, had to calm me down. He would be laughing under his covers, waiting for 30 minutes, get up, repeat the process.

This Tom Fullery, my God, went out for months. Then my brother kept its secret for 12 years. Today, we're laughing about it any time the story comes up, but there you see, guys, it's not always something paranormal. Sometimes just annoying older brother being a cunt. This one's for you, Jesse. Have a good one, boys. What was possessing the brother?

But I mean, that's, I will say, the story, which is great, by the way, the story about the house, though, I think it's fascinating just like the background, because my parents, when they lived in Kentucky, they lived in an area of Louisville that literally is right next to the Rutherford B. Hayes, like where he had, I guess, plantation, also next to a Native American burial ground next to a Civil War battlefield, next to all these different places that I was like, if there was ever some places, if there was ever some places going to be haunted, plus my parents, their guest bedroom where I slept was like the creepiest room ever.

It had weird yellow wallpaper and they were like, it was from the original house. We don't want to change it. And I'm like, this room is haunted. Never. Not once did I see a ghost. So I'm like, if there ever is going to be a ghost, it has to be at one of these places. And the fact that he's like, it was my brother just again goes to be like, I don't know, still waiting, still waiting for a haunting.

Could be Twin Peaks. You never know. I don't know. But that was great. That was a great story. That is the perfect example of every time I hear a haunting story, I think to myself, like, all right, but what really happened? Yeah.

Thank you, baby. Philly. Yeah. Who's the brother under the bed? Yep. Okay. So that's that story. Davis, here's another one for you.

A little different tone. Okay. Oh, does this one have an art asset? Uh, does it? I don't know. There's an image. Okay. This one is called something in the forest.

Oh, no. The story is okay to share on the podcast. If you would like to, I've included some links to independent research of mine that could be of interest. This is also by SLM. Isn't that like a eSports team? Hey guys, I've been listening for about a year now and really enjoy the show. So I thought I'd share my own experience from a few years ago.

I definitely consider myself skeptical by nature and these two encounters can probably be explained rationally, but sometimes an experience is too strange and intriguing not to share, to not share. I grew up and attended high school in a mid-sized Connecticut suburb. At the time, I was an avid runner and member of my high school's cross-country and track teams. So I spent a good amount of time practicing by going for long distance runs around the area.

We would start at the high school after classes were dismissed, navigate along the sidewalk, and end up going to either the local park to the south or meadow to the northeast, looping around tractor trails and by our own, our town ferry on that school. Given that I had both grown up in the town and had been running the trails for all of high school, I was very familiar with the environment by the fall semester of my senior year. Around late September, when the cross-country season began ramping up, our coach would have the varsity folks split off from the remainder of the group so they could do more strenuous

runs, five to seven miles usually. I had, finally, qualified in my senior season, and so me and the other six varsity members decided to go down to the park and do loops in the forest trail. This is where the first oddity occurred. I wish I had that energy. Damn. I wish I had the energy to go do loops of anything. I had the seven miles sounds, I could do like a mile in high school and it would like

kill me. And I played tennis. I'm a literal hero. I literally want to be you. After lagging behind the top five varsity members, there's a range of ability out of the seven of us, and we couldn't really keep up, my friend and I were jogging along a trail which cuts through a brownfield site. We decided to catch our breath and wander around the area, which mainly consists of

dilapidated factory, infrastructure, big dirt mounds, and the occasional pile of concrete rubble. Ah, Stargate SG-1. What is brownfield? So I just looked it up. In urban planning, brownfield land is any previously developed land that is not currently in use that may potentially be contaminated with something. So it's former industrial sites of some sort.

Is that when they, is that like people talk about like gray water, like brownfield is like a similar idea of like it's not clean? If you ever are driving around LA and you see like an area that's fenced off and in the middle there's nothing there, that's a brownfield site. Like no one's building there, it's just fenced off because they don't know. Yeah. There's a lot of places like that. As we absentmindedly approached one of these concrete piles during our hike, I suddenly

got a very bad cautionary feeling in the pit of my stomach. There were no visuals to back up my sudden concern, but I figured that since it was just the two of us out here, I should voice the feeling to my friend regardless. After all, no point in keeping quiet and potentially falling victim to avoidable danger. It's very rational. My friend actually agreed that he felt a similar sudden dread and we both decided to continue our run back on the trail and return to more familiar territory. Normally runs through the forest are very relaxing thanks to the scenery, but this felt entirely

different. I was very, very aware of how the brownfield site had a lot of features, factory shells, pipes, rubbles, et cetera, which obstructed our line of sight. I felt like we were being stalked on our return and didn't feel safe until we were in the park clearing where the playground and dog park was. Both of us ran much faster than we would have otherwise, at some points fully sprinting along the trail to vacate the area as soon as possible. Like I said at the start, this alone can definitely be a psychological thing, but it's never

happened before, something just flipped like a switch for both of us out in the brownfield. I've never gone back and stayed strictly on the trails closest to the clearing. About two weeks later, the group had chosen to run in the meadow. It's basically a wide expanse of farmland where town landowners grow turf to sell. There's very little shade and it can be quite the slog of a run in summer, but in autumn, the Connecticut makes the route pretty enjoyable. Oh my God, I bet it's fucking beautiful. Yeah.

I had stayed after class to finish up a conversation with the teacher, and so the rest of the team had gone ahead and I planned on rendezvousing with them. I started on my run, eventually reaching the meadow and approaching the trail nearby the ferry. Then I got the same feeling from the brownfield, only now I was alone. I continued my jog, hoping to reach the ferry building where at least other people would be in the vicinity. The meadow's tree line continues all along the path, separating the open turf fields

from the river. Again, I was basically in an open sprint. I know this sounds very cliched, but mid sprint I tripped. Seriously, my foot rolled on top of a stone in the trail and I stumbled forward and was on my hands. Once I stood up, I looked towards the trees again. Now, people respond to fear in different ways. Some people scream, some people use profanity, etc.

However, I think the most visceral kind of fear response is when your whole body just tenses up and you fall dead silent. That's what happened to me when I turned around toward the tree line and saw a silhouetted, long armed, bear-like figure peeping its head out from behind a tree. I got, holy shit, staring at me. I didn't move. I just looked at it. Then the bear bounded away on two legs and slithered into the river.

What do you mean slithered? What the fuck? What do you mean slithered into the river? Slithered? I don't like that. A snake bear. I made no noise. I ran, got back to the school and went home.

I've never seen it since and I've since moved away to college. That's the story. It could be an animal or a hallucination or something else. I do not take drugs and I do not drink, but I think there's something in the forest. And then there's some last note. After having written this, I did some research and found a Wikipedia page of American folklore creatures called fearsome critters. They're mythical, but it's the source of traditions like the jackalope.

On it, there's something called the hide behind, which mostly fits the description. Maybe there's some truth to every myth. I'm not sure. I hope you guys enjoyed the tale. Looking forward to future episodes. Wow. What the hell? That gave me a little freaky feeling.

Didn't it? The hide behind that dude, it got me. Oh, I've been like really into like spooky little short stories. Like, I mean, I like read all of Lovecraft after playing Bloodborne and I just listened to like an audiobook about like it's like a Wolverine story. It's called Wolverine the Long Night and it's sort of like creepy happenings in Alaska and Wolverine's kind of involved with some weird killings and I reading that because I didn't read ahead.

I was just reading, reading, reading and when it got to the bear figure, I legitimately got freaked. It like you were in it. I was like, oh, whoa, I was I didn't read ahead. This is just what it said and it was I love there's something like weird and spooky, but it's a thing, right? Like, don't we we can you can sense when you're being watched? You can you can yeah, it's part of human nature.

It's prime like primal part of who we are. There's a survival instinct. Yeah, absolutely. That's why we are afraid of things behind us. Things above us and things below us because of when we had to run from things that ate us. Yeah. Yeah.

That's who we are. Did you click through to see the hide behind? I'm looking at it right now. It's fascinating. It looks kind of like the way it was described. My favorite part about the introduction is it says their victims were, you know, we're lumberjacks and they would take them back and devour their intestines. But the best way to fight them off, alcohol.

I love it. They had a version to alcohol. So if you're a lumberjack, drink at night is I think that's just like something wasted right in there as a reason to justify their behavior. I don't think it's like we I feel like we've all been there and done that when I was like 12 to 14. I lived in England and I live right by a pond in a whole forest walk and, you know, when you're young and you kind of like look around and it could just be like any animal or even

just the light or wind blowing and you're like, I swear to God, I saw something there. And even as an adult, when I if you go out on like a hiker when sometimes you're just like, did I is there something that's crazy or am I crazy or is there something and is it a snake bear? That story felt real because it didn't have like the dramatic trappings that some of these stories sometimes have where they like give like the dramatic foreshadowing and stuff. I guess it was a little bit. But like the way that it shook out and the way that it felt, I felt I felt it was an

authentic. Let me just let me just ask the age. I mean, I guess he's a senior in high school. Also when you're younger, you're more susceptible. Like it feels totally like I get it. Let me add to this story. And I guess you can add this to the episode. I'm going to add a link.

Gravity Falls did a two minute short on the high. Show is great. It's a it's a two minute video that exists that you can look up on YouTube and it's the Dipper's Guide to the unexplained, the hide behind and it's great. It will tell you everything you need to know about this strange critter. I love that. One last story, a quick one for you from Mythical Rake on the subreddit. This one is called Marissa.

Quick warning. This story jumps around a little bit. I had a Christian upbringing and never really believed spirits could visit us in our world until I had this experience. When I was five, I believed I could remember being in heaven and held some knowledge of the Holy Trinity, something not very common for someone of that age in the church. After a few weeks of listening to me, my mother sat me down at the dinner table

asking me to draw a picture of what it was like. I remember drawing what I believe was supposed to be Jesus, myself and a crying little girl who caught my mother's eye. She asked me who the crying one was and I responded with that's the little girl who asked to be your daughter and he told her no. Looking shocked, my mother sat beside me with her head in her hands. And when she looked back at me, she explained I was supposed to have a twin sister and every year around our birthday, she would have a visitation.

My toys would go off when everyone was asleep. She would hear a little girl running and giggling around the house, calling out for her to come play. This went on until I was about four when my brother and sister both adopted. Parents and I went to the jewelry store in my hometown to get her a Mother's Day gift. We picked out a ring with a birthstone for my father, brother, sister and myself. But before we could pay, my father stopped them and asked for an extra

garnet. From that day forward, the haunting stopped. But I've always felt that my sister's spirit has been with me. Oh, pretty crazy. That is crazy. It is interesting. Mythical Rake also adds in the comments that perhaps I didn't know I didn't. I know I didn't include it in the story, but even the doctor couldn't pinpoint why she didn't make it. The closest thing he could figure was that she was there long enough to make

sure I would be safe before passing away. I wonder, hmm. When, how old did I mean this? It's a fascinating story. I'm curious. You know how sometimes you will say a thing or think you know a thing, but it's only because you've been told it a long time ago and you just forgot. Like, I wonder if he knew that he had a sister and then he just like maybe.

I don't know. I don't know. It's interesting to think about. They were they were five in that when they were doing the drawings. So like it's probably just some kid stuff. Admittedly, kids are effing creepy. Like every I will see, you know how every so often you see kids and they say things you're like, what did you just say? And they're like, the man at the door has horns, mommy.

And you're like, but what? Like that, like the boy under my bed says, hello, kids say stuff. And you're like, what are you actually saying right now? What is a great there's a great like that's a great rabbit hole on YouTube to jump down as kids saying scary shit. It's it's it's terrifying. I don't need that in my life. It's, you know, what do I do in the middle of the night?

I watch other people's kids say haunting sentences. I don't make any sense. I already don't sleep enough for my destiny and wow addictions. I don't need to like also then just be too scared. Yeah, I get that. I get that. But guys, we're here at the end of another wonderful mini sewed brought to you by patreon.com slash to Luminati pod. The single greatest website ever made.

Single greatest website. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for your support. It means literally everything to us. Mathis can't be here because he's moving, but I'm sure he feels the same way. Davis, again, thank you so much for joining us on the show. It was my pleasure.

It was very like stimulating from like a just like a lot of information. There's all the stories were cool. The episode about the insane, the little rich persons Bacchanalia thing was really or was it the Bohemian Grove? Coconut Grove, yeah. They're just like coconut grove. They're so cool. And as like a writer, I'm like already thinking about how to like

what's the Bohemian Grove? The horror movie is like what I'm thinking of right now already. But it's it's been so much fun. This is great. Thank you for having me. Yeah, I haven't had to like read something out loud in a long time. And I thought I was going to I was like, oh, I hope I'm not. I don't find that I suck at like reading and then just saying it. But I mean, no less than me.

Yeah, you're great. You sailed through. Guys, thank you guys so much for your support. This is the Minnesota. This is the Chiluminati show. Thank you guys for being here. And we'll see you next time. Bye. Bye.

Summer is back and so are the deals at Larry H. Miller Chrysler Jeep Dodge Ram Sandy, whether you're hitting the open road or tackling projects closer to home. We've got the perfect vehicle for you right now. Get rates as low as 2.9 percent for 72 months on a twenty twenty three ram fifteen hundred big horn. Make it happen during the Memorial Day sales event at Larry H. Miller Chrysler Jeep Dodge Ram Sandy online at LHM deals dot com driven by you seventy two monthly payments of

fifteen dollars and fifteen cents on every one thousand dollar finance on approved credit. See dealer for details expires five thirty one twenty three summer is back and so are the deals at Larry H. Miller Chrysler Jeep Dodge Ram Sandy, whether you're hitting the open road or tackling projects closer to home. We've got the perfect vehicle for you right now. Get rates as low as 2.9 percent for seventy two months on a twenty twenty

three ram fifteen hundred big horn. Make it happen during the Memorial Day sales event at Larry H. Miller Chrysler Jeep Dodge Ram Sandy online at LHM deals dot com driven by you seventy two monthly payments of fifteen dollars and fifteen cents on every one thousand dollar finance on approved credit. See dealer for details expires five thirty one twenty three. Hello, my little Chelluminats. Oh, God, I missed saying that.

I heard you did it for me while I was gone out. Did you hear it? It was weird. I did actually. I did hear your little Chelluminats. Did it feel right? I appreciate you tempting, though. I do appreciate it because they expected at this point.

I got to keep the love alive. You know what I mean, but they're paying fifteen dollars a month. I appreciate it, by the way. Thank you, folks. Thank you so much, everybody. Welcome to the Chilmini. I'm not sure what the boys have brought, but I'm just going to open this thing up with my favorite topic in the world.

UFOs, baby. This comes from six days ago, February 26th. American Airlines is on CBS News. American Airlines pilot reports long cylindrical object zoom by while flying over New Mexico. An American Airlines pilot saw what he described as a long cylindrical object zoom over the jetliner as he was flying to Phoenix in the skies above New Mexico Sunday. The FBI said it's aware of the incident.

And the Pentagon said the military wasn't conducting any tests in the area that day. Do you have any targets up here? One of the pilots of the American Air American flight two to nine to asked air traffic controllers, according to a record of the transmission obtained by CBS News. We just had something go right over the top of us that I hate to say this looked like a long cylindrical object that almost looked like a cruise missile type

of thing moving really fast that went right over the top of us. American confirmed the transmission was from flight two to nine to heading from Cincinnati's airport to Phoenix. The airline referred additional questions to the FBI, which said it was aware of the incident. They said, while our policy is to neither confirm nor deny investigations, the FBI works continuously with our federal, state, local and tribal partners to share intelligence and protect the public.

Spokesman Frank Fisher of the FBI's field of office in Albuquerque, New Mexico, said in a statement, anyone who is aware of suspicious or criminal activity should contact our local law enforcement agency or the FBI. The federal aviation administration said in a statement to the pilot reported the sighting over New Mexico shortly after afternoon on Sunday, the agency said air traffic controllers didn't see any object in the area on their radar scopes. You know, one of those metal obelisks, monoliths.

It's the cigar shaped kind of fridge. Oh, you mean the ones that are just like appearing and people are. Yeah, maybe they just shoot up into the air. You think about everything about that? No, it's a fucking cigar cigar shaped UFO again. Maybe that's what they've always been. They're always around, dude, constantly. So this is just another sighting over New Mexico, a hot spot of the area.

The Pentagon, people said nothing, which obviously means doesn't mean anything. Doesn't mean even if they said there's no testing, there's none that, you know, that doesn't mean that there's not. The Pentagon spokesperson told the National Security Correspondent, the reported sighting happened about 400 miles away from the Army's White Sands missile range in southern New Mexico. So it was 400 miles from the closest missile range. A spokesman said the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, known as DARPA,

the Missile Defense Agency and the U.S. Strategic Command didn't conduct any tests from the missile range on that Sunday. Can you imagine just being that pilot? They're like, we don't know. Yeah, I mean, it happens more often than you think. I'm always in whenever I'm flying, I'm always looking out the window. Just that feeling of like, what the fuck should I do? Yeah, I imagine I'd be fucking scared.

Like because I like him, I imagine my first thought would be, oh, shit, a missile, all these passengers, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, scary, scary, man. That's scary. That's my story, boys. No explanation. Just another fascinating UFO story continuing to happen in 2021. Disclosure is constant.

I love that. I've got a mystery. I've got another mystery. You know, one of it's based in it's a new story out of Indonesia, but it's based in, you know, one of the mysteries that's that's been plaguing mankind since the beginning, which is the mystery of our own life, our own birth, our own procreation. Right. Sure. Sure.

This is the story of an Indonesian lady who gave birth to a healthy baby girl. Just recently, the stories from February 17th on the folks paper. Don't know what that is, but I believe it has something to do with Indonesian news. Her name was Siti Zayna and she's from Sianjer town in West Java. And this was all the rage in her town after she gave birth on that previous Wednesday after before February 17th.

She said, after afternoon prayers, I was lying face down on the floor when I suddenly felt wind enter my body through my vagina. And one hour later, one hour later, she gave birth to a healthy baby girl. She said that she could feel her belly stretching and visibly watch it grow larger and then she went into labor. And one hour later, the Academy there or dude, I don't know.

But one hour later, she had a healthy baby girl. The police say the point is that we want to straighten out the confusing news about the pregnant woman who gave birth in a way perceived to be unnatural. We don't want this matter to foster wild rumors among the public. Who knows what's going on there? Obviously, you know, something like this, the first thing your mind goes to is cryptic pregnancy, which is the type of pregnancy where you do not know that you're pregnant

and then suddenly you have a baby, which is just a crack. I can't imagine how surreal that must feel, but you never know. Could have been a gust of wind that blew right into her vagina. Could have been. Yeah, I guess could have been. That's weird, dude. Not too bad. You know, too fucking bad. It's the type of mystery we don't get on this show a lot. But, you know, it makes it really makes you think.

I am. I am at least thinking really makes you think. Mm, you know what? Sure, virgin birth. I'm going to go that way. I feel bad about this. Like, do you think maybe she, like, fell in love with somebody? Absolutely. And they weren't supposed to have. Yes. Yes. You think that's what it is?

I have to believe that. Unless there literally was a virgin birth. In which case, if that's true. Someone called they don't they don't really talk about her like love life in here, like it could be that she's a perfectly, you know, regularly. She she has sex regularly with people and she just doesn't know that she got pregnant one time. But, you know, it also has to be it.

It also could be that your boyfriend and you had a baby and you don't want anybody to know. So you were just like, uh, where's the baby come from? Yeah, funny story. You remember I was really windy the other day. You were like, this wind is like horny. Whoa, the wind.

Yeah, shit, dude. Relax. At least buy me a drink first. All right, Jesse, you got anything? Yes, I do. What do you got? Last year, archaeologists were investigating this ancient mound site in Turkey and it's in this greater region called the Konya plain,

which is, I guess, where many lost metropolises have been discovered. For some reason, this area is littered with ancient ruins. And while they were there, these researchers were directed by a local farmer to a nearby canal where they, I guess, had recently been drenched and it revealed this large stone that kind of looks like, I don't know, like the Rosetta stone and shape and size. And it was marked with this unknown inscription. And the scientists were like, we could see it.

James Osborne, the scientist is like, we could see it sticking out of the water. So we jumped down to the canal up to our waist, waited around, got over to it, called up people to come and like read what it said. And right away, we were clear it was an ancient inscription. And thankfully, the Luyan is the language. There are people who speak it and know it. Oh, damn. And so it was using the bronze in Iron Ages in that area.

Oh, my God. And so with that kind of language alive is a miracle, by the way. I just want to say that to keep a language from the bronze and Iron Ages and still people today that can speak it. And I bet it has to do something with like the Rosetta stone and unlocking all of those words and like, yeah. So they the translators came out, they took a look at the hieroglyphs and it was boasting of a military victory,

not just any military victory, but the defeat of Frigia, an ancient kingdom that existed roughly 3,000 years ago. Frigia, P H R Y G I A was ruled by a few people, but one of them named Midas. Hmm. And based on this and the way it's bragging and the bragging of this steel, this this big, you know, block it's referring to the defeat of a King Midas.

Hmm. Stone marking also contained special hieroglyphic symbolizing that the victory came from another king, a guy named Hartopu. And it suggests that Midas was captured by Hartopu's forces. And it says the storm gods delivered the opposing king to his majesty. And what's significant about this isn't the Midas thing, because there are a bunch of people named Midas. And, you know, the story of Midas is, you know, just a story.

But what's interesting is that Frigia is a known commodity. It is a known kingdom. But no one knows a damn thing about a King Hartopu, nor what kingdom he ruled, nor whether like why this mound was there. Maybe that's just his MMO name. Man, maybe or no one knows anything about that they're currently digging up. What appears to be a giant city spanning 300 acres

that could very well be the capital city of Hartopu's kingdom. Fucking cool. They know nothing about it. And in a flash, they now have proof of new information regarding the Iron Age in the Middle East. And so they're digging up more and they're like, it's an incredible find. We just got lucky finding it. And now we kind of know what we're digging up. Yeah.

That yeah, that's that's it's crazy that we're still finding cities on our planet that just been lost to time. I mean, who holds no hold information that could completely change what we assume about our own history like that. Yeah, I just just to rehash a thing I'll say all the time, because I think it's fascinating. We look at ancient Greece the way ancient Greece looked at ancient Egypt. Which is think about that.

It's hard to comprehend. Like it's really hard. That's what the pyramids are at least five to six thousand years old. Yeah, just like think about that. That's crazy. Just a shout out to another podcast that I'm just a fan of hardcore history, man. Hardcore history does such a good job at like storytelling. Yeah, our own history.

It's just bless that, man. Yeah, because I mean, it puts out like one podcast a month or two or sometimes every six months, but like their four hour deep dives in the most fascinating old world topics. That's cool, Jesse. I like that a lot. Oh, I want to look into that now. I figured I would enjoy. I think it's super interesting that stuff like that.

Still like you're still discovering. Imagine what happens if we can like deal with the ocean, right? We can like go they just they just did like a there's like a new camera technology that's like just about to like. Imagine that thing. Yeah, who knows what weird shit we'll find. I'm excited for that. Yeah, it's bonkers.

Yo, that's it for us on this mini so everybody. Thank you so much for listening. We will be back next week with yet another mini so the following or whatever episode ninety one is going to be. I will tell you two boys this the next bigger topic, either one or two episodes. It's going to be the classic Betty and Barney Hill case. Oh, no, here we go. Oh, no. It's time to get back to aliens.

It's been a while. I'm excited. Thank you guys so much for your support on Patreon. We wouldn't be able to do this without you. We'll see you guys next week. Goodbye. Bye. Anyway, me and my wife were sitting outside indulging on our porch one night enjoying ourselves. I needed to go to the bathroom, so I stepped back inside.

And after a few moments, I hear my wife go, holy shit, get out here. So I quickly dash back outside. She's looking up at the sky and I look up to and there's a perfect line of dozen lights traveling across the sky. You Summer is back and so are the deals at Larry H. Miller Chrysler Jeep Dodge Ram Sandy. Whether you're hitting the open road or tackling projects closer to home,

we've got the perfect vehicle for you right now. Get rates as low as 2.9% for 72 months on a 2023 Ram 1500 Bighorn. Make it happen during the Memorial Day sales event at Larry H. Miller Chrysler Jeep Dodge Ram Sandy. Online at LHMdeals.com. Driven by you. 72 monthly payments of $15 and 15 cents on every $1,000 finance on approved credit. See dealer for details. Expires 531-23.