Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 126 - A (Belated) Halloween Special

Episode Date: November 10, 2021

Patreon - http://www.patreon.com/chilluminatipod BUY OUR MERCH - http://www.theyetee.com/collections/chilluminati Special thanks to our sponsors this episode Stamps dot com - http://www.stamps.com Promo Code: chill Magic Spoon - http://www.magicspoon.com/chill Promo Code: Chill Manscaped - http://www.manscaped.com Promo Code: Chill20 Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - http://www.youtube.com/user/superbeardbros Art Commissioned by - http://www.mollyheadycarroll.com Theme - Matt Proft End song - POWER FAILURE - https://soundcloud.com/powerfailure Video - http://www.twitter.com/digitalmuppet

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Soak in Dr. Teals to recharge the body, mind, and spirit so you can soak in life's important moments. Find it at a Walmart near you, now available with a fresh new look. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the Shilluminati podcast, episode 126. As always, I'm one of your hosts, Mike Martin, joining my two co-hosts, the...

Oh, shit, I didn't think of Mario and Luigi. That's what you are right now. The Mario and Luigi of LA. That's what you want. We already did that. We already did that. I'm not... Restart, restart, restart. Okay, hang on. I gotta restart, restart, restart.

The cat dog, the cat dog of LA. Which one's the butt? Is there a butt? That's the whole deal with cat dog. Which one is the butt? All right, well... Which one's the butt? Am I the cat or the dog?

Alex is the dog, for sure, and I'm the cat. Yeah, that's... I'm a dog? Yeah, you're a huge dog. I'm a dog. I got that slobbery face. Yeah, you were slobbery, and I'm over here like... You're a huge slobbery face.

Yeah, I'm a bitch. I'm a cat. I'm a bitch. I'm a... I'm a cat. Oh, man, I'm a bitch. He's got that my... That's my chassis, bitch.

Oh, I'm a bitch. That sounds like Don Knott's took an Ambien or something. Stayed up to like... Don't worry about it. It's a guy turning into a chicken slowly. What are you talking about? This is getting weird. Guys, welcome back to the Halloween special.

Yes. Yeah, it is November 7th. A few people out there reached out and was like, hey, you guys doing a Halloween special this year? I'm gonna be real. It kind of blew me by. Halloween fell on a Sunday, but we got back from the live show like the day before.

Yeah, it kind of felt like the live show ended up being our Halloween special this year, but... You know, it was a super special. It was not satisfied, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it was an exclusive special for a small number of people. So... Not to...

Is that the Star Trek theme? There's a rose to here with us. Oh my gosh, the Halloween past. Oh, no. Oh, I like it. It's like a safer atmosphere and there's bigger candy bars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

It's pretty good, it's pretty cool. In size candy bars only for everybody. Didn't you guys ever have that house? Yeah, yeah, there was a couple houses back in my old childhood neighborhood that I could like guarantee I was getting a big size candy bar. Word would just like go around and be like,

yo, yo, three musketeer bars, full size over at this house. Get ready. Did you remember having to worry about razors and like shit? Worry about like, did I actually... My parents drilled that into my head as a kid. I was always so nervous about like razors in my candy and all that other stuff. My dad just sort of like put it out on the table

and like went through it real quick to make sure that there was nothing out of order. But like sealed candy, there's not going to be a razor in there. Nobody's... Sure. I mean, that's like James Bond villain level craziness. I was convinced.

Somebody might've hated children out there, you know? I keep thinking it's... Yeah, Star was Star Trek. Guys. This is what the show is now. We're going to pull this away from this disaster that is unfolded in front of me. Disaster, you mean?

It's a disaster. Symphonic masterpiece. It is also that, I guess. It's like the Mothman tried to like sing a song. Orgasm. I'm talking about crowd sourced funding. And you can find that at patreon.com slash Chilumnati Pod. Where if you continue to support the show,

we'll try our best not to meander away into these strange sound based humor loops that we get into sometimes here on the show when we're getting excited to read user stories. Because you know what? It's got to be that vibe, right? It's got to be the worst sitting up in one of our garages and the Super Nintendo's on with like whatever game

we got stuck with this weekend that wasn't very good. Kabalooie. Yeah, Kabalooie, Dynamite Heady. We got some Costco brownies on deck. You know, a big old jug of red juice. You know what I'm saying? You guys remember the times? You know what I'm saying?

Metal or baby steps into metal to seem like a badass. You know what I mean? Can you remind me how this is in relation to the Patreon? I'm just saying that's us. We have to get into that zone. OK. To provide you the feeling that you need. That's what you're funding is our lifestyle.

That's getting us to this point mentally. I don't fall. If you're following along at home, you know what's up. You guys get what's going on. Can I end up with a Greenstone? I don't follow. No, but eventually everything ends up being a Patreon exclusive. Dude, I would never do that to you guys.

What Greenstone is going to be is what somebody said to me the other day on Twitter, which I thought was hilarious. They asked me if Greenstone was my frog fractions, too. And to that, I give you a lol emoji. Very clear answer. We appreciate it. I hope the Twitter user was satisfied with your reply. Patreon.com slash Chilluminati pod.

Thank you guys for listening. Happy Halloween. And belated. Here we go. It's Halloween time. Yeah, it's probably something where, like, over the years, it's been twisted and this is the real, like, pagan Halloween day.

And actually, last week was like, yeah. You know what I'm saying? I mean, yeah, November 7th is actual Halloween. Yeah, this is a Halloween truth. There's Greek Orthodox Halloween. Yeah, this is that's what this is. Also, did you hear that make a hollow moon movie? Yes, it's the one where the moon falls to Earth.

Oh, it's it's a Rollin' Emmerich, right? Yeah, yeah, is it? Oh, it's a Rollin' Emmerich film. I'm in 100 percent. Yeah, I mean, it's going to be such a good fucking stupid time. I'm excited for it. Yes, I thought the premise was the moon falls to Earth. But the new posters reveal its hollow.

Like a kinder egg. Yes, like it's going to hit the earth. And inside is going to be like a big dirty Simba with like really bad paint on its face. Yeah, that's the original Earth. The original trailer was like some oh, what? It's based off a novel. OK, where Jack McDivitt.

Oh, my God, why excuse me? There's no way that guy that dude's name is Jack McDivitt. Jack McDivitt. That's a pod racer's name. That's not a real name. Published in nineteen ninety eight. Well, it's the only most awesome could. How was this the?

The same year as the best Godzilla movie ever made. The tag for this book is the most awesome catastrophe ever. What is inside film in the making? What's inside the moon? I don't know. I'd have to look into it. You're right. You're right. OK, well, I'm I'm hooked for one.

And that leads me back to the Halloween episode of the Shilluminati podcast, which you should be hooked on now. We got some stories from Reddit and some dreams and some, uh, you know, we we did a lot of dreams last time. So I picked one dream. We'll have Jesse read that one. It's a few stories in. Yeah. But Alex, why don't you go ahead and start this sucker up?

You can take our very first story here. Yeah, OK, this one is from Major Junior, which I love as a screen name for some reason. Isn't it great? Rolls off the tongue. This one is called a weird sighting. Here we go. So a little bit of background.

I'm 1000 percent a Jesse. I only believe like 14 percent of what Mathis says, unless it's an extremely specific number. I'm I'm taking it she was being a thousand percent me, but 14 percent willing to play. That's very much that's way more generous than the real Jesse. I don't know if you're a thousand percent of Jesse. I think maybe I'm rubbing off on you a little bit, I think.

However, this being said, I have seen things at my work that I honestly cannot explain away other than I've actually gone crazy and hallucinating. Oh, my God, I just swallowed my own spit. Hold on. All right. Here we go. So I work in an elementary school as a janitor. I'm sometimes there until around midnight or one in the morning.

One of the times when I was there late and I knew I was the only one in the building, I saw that a hallway still had its lights on. That was a bit of red flag because I remember turning them off, but I just chalked it up to me being forgetful and decided to cut through the cafeteria to get to the hall. Both the cafeterias did the hallway look out at the same time. Both the cafeterias did the hallway

look out at the same little fake courtyard, and you can see into one from the other. OK, so there's like an outdoor section between the two rooms. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. OK. Well, as I'm walking through the cafeteria, I see this giant thing walking down the hallway. This probably this hallway probably has about a seven and a half foot ceilings. And this thing looked like it had a decent slouch and was still rubbing the ceiling.

The best description I have is a lesion from Witcher 3. Oh, my gosh, it moved, which is like a bramble of tree and like deer skeleton if you haven't played Witcher 3. It moved at the same pace I was and looked like we would meet really close to the door I was heading towards. But as I'm not dead, I go through the door and there was nothing. Don't know what it was, but it scared the crap out of me. I have other stories that people are interested.

I love the trailers. Hope this was interesting. Sorry for the bad writing. I'm not very good at this. The only thing that you did in the writing that was bad was take a second at the end to lambast yourself. If the guys see this, I'm so happy you guys started doing this podcast. It has made me work so much. It has made work so much more enjoyable and you are welcome for that.

And I'm glad you're enjoying it. Yeah. And a creepy little sighting. I don't I don't I don't know if I how I would feel seeing a giant skeletal wooden creature, you know, walking across the hall from me and meeting me halfway through. I'm already afraid of. I'm already afraid of figures that are the size of humans. I'm trying to think like if I was a Jesse, right? In this moment and like, what could it be?

To me, since you're seeing through two panes of glass, what if it was a weird reflection? A fun house. Yeah, a fun house. Looked. Yeah. Yeah. But here's the thing. It's way scarier to say that it looks like a lesion from The Witcher 3. Oh, yeah. Oh, you know, I don't know why that would be in a school. I don't know what dark magic was birthed from the grounds of this school.

I don't know. Maybe this school is in Transylvania. I notice you didn't say exactly where you live. So it could be on some ancient ground of evil. But, you know, I think right now at the old pub beneath the castle, where he's like, don't go up there as this part of the city is built on the old city. The the thing that I am thinking about is I think something I probably talked about on the show before, which is this time where around Christmas, I always get scared at my

in my home neighborhood because there's one house that does almost no decorating, except right by the door, they put a six and a half foot tall Santa Claus, like the European style that's like not the Coke Santa. It looks like Dumbledore is standing there. Some shit like a fucking I love that harvest season doll. It's like the size of a man. It looks like it costs about twenty five hundred dollars. It's like more extravagant than something that would be at Disneyland.

And it scares the shit. It's like when David Lynch, it went in a Mulholland Drive when they see that like witch behind the dumpster and you're like, oh, like it's like that every time I think it looks wrong. So seeing something two feet taller than that. No, thanks. No, I am good with you. Maybe it's just a forgotten giant coming back to claim whatever he lost on that ground.

Maybe that's a that's a giant. That's an episode that needs to happen. Oh, yeah, giant figures. Absolutely. Maybe it's just the Santa Claus from outside. It's one of those. You think it's one of those twelve foot tall skeletons that with the light up eyes? Yes, they sell at Home Depot that those things are too expensive in this economy. Highly unlikely at a school. Come on now.

That was just the wildest thing to me because that was the COVID Halloween. Everybody was like, check out my giant robot skeleton. Yeah, it's like that thing's fifteen hundred dollars, dude. How do you have the money? It's like you stayed inside all year and to celebrate the possibility of maybe returning to the world someday, you built a basically a terminator on your front. Yeah. Yeah. Why do we need these big human sized figures?

It scares the shit out of me. Let's just I think we've discovered a really deep phobia of Alex is just like human sized statues. You know what it is? No, it's it's the the what is it called the uncanny valley, but IRL. That is the thing that scares me. So they were a single desperate man, sex dolls on or off the table for you. They're human size. I know it's going to be there. It's fine. Like if I'm a land I'm there.

What if that Santa is just like a sanded up sex doll weird? If I put it there and I'm going to come pick it up and put it out front. That'll scare me. Like, I don't know. Like what is a sex doll with sex dolls dot com? Sex dolls dot biz dot TK dot pizza. We went there and he bought that. And then he was like, I'm a dresser up for first dresser up doll with a shitty cheap beard taped on with like Scotch tape.

I'm so sorry to every hillbilly sounding person. Whenever every sex pest in America is like a Jerry Springer guy. But you know, it reminds me of the old thing on Reddit that they always have where they're like, you think about uncanny valley freaks me out because then you realize that humans have evolved to be afraid of something that looks almost exactly like them, but is just a little bit off. And that's when you know, if you think if you think for a half a second, you'd be like, I don't know, Neanderthals were one.

Like that's exactly the other human other type of species that we found out. Not only did we kill them, but we we fucked them. We fucked the shit out of those Neanderthals. They really want to know that. I want to know if I got Neanderthal in my blood, dude. And that's not too hard. Humans were just anything with the hole. Here's the problem with this episode.

People are going to hear this episode not have heard that many episodes would have no clue what you're like, Neanderthals, sex. Why kids? Don't worry about it. Your kids are going to love it. 69 you missed out. Kids are going to listen to the mini search 69 on the on the Patreon, the sexiest mini stowed that we've ever done. Your kids are going to love. At Simply Safe, we know during a break in every second counts.

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the comfort and convenience of home with your outdoor adventures. Start your next adventure at motorsportsland.com. All right, next story. This one's for me and the one after is the dream for Jesse. So this one's simply called Sleep Possession. Oh, by by too misty, too munchin love. Very Victorian, penny, dreadful title. Sleep Possession.

Oh, hi. I am currently terrified. Oh, my God. Currently like right now at the time of this writing, presumably that the metaverse is wild, man. This is this is a new this is a new future, man. We need to join the metaverse. We need people to do this more often. If you are in the middle of being haunted, jump on Reddit and immediately tell us play by play the mana from heaven.

Yes, right? Ambrosia of don't wait. Don't even acknowledge. Let the ghost do its thing. Tell us immediately the corner. It's pants back on. You're just right on. Love that. Going crazy.

All right. So I am. Hi, I'm currently terrified. I am pretty sure this was just a form of sleep paralysis, but it felt too real for me. I had taken a nap in the couch earlier today in the living room. My friends were listening to music and towards the end of the dream, I started to hear it. When I started to hear the music,

I was fluttering my eyes open from the dream, but something forced me to go back to sleep. I was quickly pulled back into the dream. The narrative of the dream being I was being possessed by the ghost of an officer who had recently passed away like a lieutenant general. Right, right. What kind of officer in the military police officer and a gentleman?

Yeah, I'm sure you made me lose my spot. Yeah, there we go. I was quickly being pulled back in the dream. Now the dream was being possessed by an officer and he wouldn't let me wake up until he got the apology from the store clerk who accidentally got him killed. This ghost wouldn't let me wake up until he got the apology.

I could hear my friends still. They were singing over the song and playing a board game while dinner was being made. I was terrified in this dream. I wasn't myself. I was someone else in the dream. I don't remember who I was. I just know I was a girl.

I felt my actual body take a deep breath in. That the ghost then took possession of me in the body of the girl and my soul was pushed out. He forced the girl to say sorry with her own mouth and my soul floated to mine. Wait, what? I he forced the girl to say sorry with her own mouth and my soul floated to mine that apparently was in the store.

OK, I took a deep exhale. This is what happens when you write it right away. You're just you're you're your grammar. I appreciate it. I took a deep exhale and fluttered my eyes back open. It took me a couple of minutes to wake back up. I was trying very hard to not forget what happened. So I told my friend what had happened.

Again, I am sure this was just sleep paralysis because I had a form of this where my soul left my body and watched myself sleep for 30 minutes. Still haunts me to this day. That's the end of the story. I think truly the scary thing about stuff like this, like even if you are one quote unquote, one thousand percent a Jesse is that they're regardless of what the actual scenario is.

Your brain has created something without your permission and you are like dealing with that, like regardless of even if it's magic or what. And I think that's fucking scary. That's like when a kid says some like, I'm playing catch with the dark figure in my bedroom with no face who shoots acid out of his eyes. You're like, because that kid just like has no filter

and is like seeing whatever they're seeing. Like it could just be imaginary. Doesn't matter because it's like unbridled subconscious. There's something alive that's not your brain inside your body. And that's freaky. Yeah, I don't know. I'm admittedly pulling from what I think is high school education. So I could be wrong or misinterpreting or misremembering.

But when exiting REM sleep or disturbed or woken up from REM sleep, if you fall asleep within a certain amount of time, pretty short amount of time, I want to say it's five minutes, but that might be too long. Can't you fall back into the REM sleep that was disturbed and kind of go right back into it without having to go through the process of going back into REM, readying the sleep for those who don't know out there.

That's when you dream like the dark, the deep sleep. Well, yeah, I super sleep. As far as I'm aware, there's like levels. So there's like the first hour and a half. And like then there's like chunks. And so there's sometimes where you can wake up and you feel refreshed, but it's only been like I've been asleep for an hour. And it's like, well, how's that possible?

But it's because you've gone through these REM cycles and there's like eventually you have a big one, but you can wake up after different chunks of sleep and still feel good. But if you sleep, you know, and then you're woken up in the middle of REM, you're just like, all right, what is going on? Yeah. Yeah, it's like that when you that nap, that fucking shitty nap feeling when you get up in the middle of the day and you feel like trash because you like were asleep

and you woke up for some weird unnatural reason. Yeah, that's why I can't do naps. It's like the legit reason I can't do naps because any time I quote unquote nap, I wake up here. Then I want to keep those fuckers short, my dude. Yeah, man, you can't do anything older than like more than like 45 minutes or something. And I can't do that. I do like four hours. Yeah.

Well, I agree that it's probably was like a mix of like sleep paralysis, plus like being woken up maybe in the middle of a REM cycle or something. But that's it's scary, man. I'm grateful. I've never really had to go through sleep paralysis because any time I've ever heard a story about sleep paralysis, it sounds awful. I have never had sleep paralysis while in my bed. But I think I might have mentioned this before.

I was on a plane traveling and I was sleeping like no one can see this, but I was sleeping like this in my seat and just my head down. He did like a pious monk's pose. Yeah, I was just kind of like with the light of heaven on his head. Like shut down. But I guess because I was asleep and my body, you know, like at all, untenses my tongue sort of got in between my back teeth. And so I guess I bit down on my tongue.

But because I was still asleep, the pain woke me up. But my body was not able to move ready to. Yeah. And so I wasn't done yet. I couldn't. I was like, I felt the pain in my mouth and I was trying to unclench my jaw and nothing about me would move. That sucked. That sucked so bad. How long did that last? Long enough that for that the rest of the day after I landed,

I could feel the indentations in my tongue of where my teeth were. He turned into old, old. What's the guy's name? The dude that's like not Mr. Cobb and Inception that's played by Ken Watanabe. God, I haven't seen that movie, but I haven't seen it. Jesse turned into the old man. He was he was in there.

Just like before you before we actually move on, you reminded me, Jesse, I meant to ask you this many times and I've always forgot because it comes from a reader's story back when we were talking about being able to image things in your mind, like actually picture them and you can't when you close your eyes. Do you see anything colors or static or is it a black void? When I close my eyes and this is I've done this numerous times.

Yeah, I just don't remember if we've talked about it. If I try to imagine a thing, I don't see anything. Sure. But if you just close your eyes and not even trying to imagine, do you see like colors and shifting? No, it's it's black and then there's like some, you know, on the edges, some white, which is probably the light of the your monitor, red bits, which are probably blood cells or something crazy, man. That's nuts. Because when I close my eyes, it's shifting colors.

Constantly, I see the screen saver from Windows 2000. Like right now, shifting, I've got like I've got like a white TV static that's constant, but I see that when my eyes are open to what? And then there's constant shifting colors, like it's a blue and a pink right now. And it's like blue and pink. Yeah, man. I am not I am not kidding you. It's always been like that. No. And if you could, if I concentrate hard enough, I can like move them.

To me, it looks to me, it looks like being under a blanket, like with maybe just like maybe a little light shining through that's like. Yeah, I wish. Like, you know, OK, like if your eyes don't get input, your brain kind of like fills in the blanks, like how a camera does. Sure. You know, where you get like a little moving black void in the back and the deep back of your film in like something real dark. But that's kind of what I get. It's like a void. But I can like you don't actually see it with your eyes.

The imaginary stuff, right? It's another eye that you use to see it. It's a it's a second cameraman on your sort of brain. It's bizarre. Yeah, it's different. So I'm like the it's true, Jesse, like a lot of people see it. It's called Phosphine is the is the name of like the phenomenon crazy. And it's simply due to people's overact. They like that part of their brain, the visual stimulus is overactive.

So it's just creating some literally 3D pipes for Windows. It's like your brain just like, no, you got to you got to see something. You have to see something. Man, that's wild to me. Yeah. I don't know. Other people don't see what I like. See colors blew my mind. I was like, wait, what? Like people don't see shifting colors and shit. It's bizarre. Sometimes I do.

Like I've done that ping-pong ball thing that then you start to see some real trippy stuff, but never. I've never done that. I've never done ping-pong. Yeah, I've never done ping-pong ball like complete. I will say I've done that thing where they say like stare at this image. And then when you close your eyes and then you see the inverted one. Yeah, I've definitely. It's like that's. Yeah, yeah.

Well, I just thank you for answering my question. It's very interesting to know that that you like it's bizarre. I mean, just I have this water on my desk and I was looking at the container and I was like, all right, Jesse, visualize the container in your head. And as I was actively trying to visualize it, it faded away. Wow, crazy to me. But here's the thing.

Without even looking at it, I could tell you exactly what it was. The way it looks, I could give you. And in my mind, if I close my eyes, I know what it is. I know how it looks. But the visual, the visualization of it, like I watched it, then a snap. It just like faded away in my head. I don't see it the same way I see.

Like real objects. But I if you tell me, oh, OK, the thing on your desk flew into the air and flipped upside down and then fell back down the table. I can see that. I can imagine what it would look like. I have the memory of having seen it, even though I didn't see it. That's a good way to put it, actually.

It's an interesting way to put it. It's like I have the memory of knowing what it looked like when it happened, even though it didn't happen, didn't see it with my eyes. I like, yeah, like I can see this in my glass spilling and spilling water everywhere. But it didn't happen. Not happening. But I have like it's like, yeah, it's so weird. It's cool, man. The brains are wild. We have to move on.

You guys are tripping me out. We're just it's just different brains, man. It's like it's not what I'm just saying. It's not like if you're thinking about it in terms of like your eyeballs creating visual input, that's not exactly what it is that I'm talking about when I'm talking about visualizing, but your brain is still able to construct an image that you can see your mind, a visual memory of a visual image. Yeah, it's so weird. I love it, though.

Our brains are different. It's so fascinating. Speaking of brains, Jesse, this next one's for you. We have the dream world of the title of this one. Yeah, right? It's like a Bob Dylan song from like his middle period. All right. A maciated bird woman dream. Maciated bird woman.

Listen to her. She doesn't eat seeds. He eats nuts. So amaciated. All right. There's a chunk of most of our audience understands this reference. I hope so. They love Bob Dylan on the Chiluminati podcast.

Though this stream was worth sharing, regardless of if it gets read on the show. And of course, it is free to be read on the show to be clear. So on to the dream. You know what? Nice preamble. A showmanship. Sweet. MC action. I like that. I was going around delivering these new super recyclable cups to retail stores as some kind of promotion for a gas station.

OK, it's a bizarre start to a dream. Yeah, I got into a furniture store to deliver one of the one of these cups is the best part. This is definitely a dream, right? Like I brought you. I've got your own singular. It says the energy of like a gift when you open a bank account. Like that's the type of gift you get your cup. And I talked to the cashier about it and he says he'll get the manager

because not sure if he's supposed to accept it. While I'm waiting for him to come back with the manager, I start to hear sobbing from the back end of the store. I go to look and on top of a big metal shelf like they use to stock inventory pallets on I see this thing start to move. Gotcha. At first, it looks like a Halloween decoration of a naked woman who's so emaciated that she looks mummified

and has black hair, gray skin, big black eyes moving in really inhuman uncanny ways. Oh, I kind of have like an image of like that kind of like puppet marrying the ones with the little brads in the arms that are thinking about that girl who walks backwards and and like the horror movies like Rudge and stuff. Yeah. Like one of those things that's like. Yes. Yes.

Before I could register what I'm looking at, she climbs down, starts moving around and walking. As soon as I realize it's a real person, my perspective shifts between simultaneously standing where I am and filming her with my phone and approaching her. I think trying to help. So I'm talking about the memory of having done something while also literally doing something else.

It's a crazy thing to simulate when helping me. So I guess this is the version like when helping me gets closer version of me. I start to see that she has exposed the tendons like her skin has wrapped around her tendons and bones in such a way that there's visible gaps in her arms. This is like Silent Hill ask. This is very becoming Silent Hill. This is just how Iggy Pop looked in the early 70s.

I ask her if she needs help. She starts spouting, sprouting birdlike features with no feathers. Her posture starts to hunch even more than it already was. Her hands turn into big wing fingers. Her mouth starts to form into a beak and a featherless tail starts forming. She then starts screaming incredibly loudly and angrily. I would be too if I was turning into a bald chicken. I'm picturing Lantern Tomaree from the Green Lantern Corps.

You know what anybody that that works for. I know exactly. Yeah. It's like a bird. It's like a yellow guy, rather. The yellow guy with the beak. It's like a beak bald beak bird person. Yeah. OK. I think I know who you were talking about, too. So forcefully that her beak mouth is forced open like someone whose mouth is being blown open by a leaf blower.

So like that ridiculous like, you know what I mean? Yeah. Helping me then runs the hell out of the store. It's like a Five Nights at Freddy's character noticing as I pass by that the cashiers have their heads covered in multiple surgical masks to the point that their head looks totally round with only a small slit where their eyes are visible and are just standing at the registers like mannequins. This is Silent Hill 2.

Meanwhile, filming me is watching all this go down from a distance through my phone camera, and I overhear some conversation about how the bird woman is a known thing like an urban legend that people just see as a normal thing that just pops up sometimes. There are also employees that are kind of just seemed inconvenienced. I then hear these voices in a YouTube video debating about if the bird woman is CGI. Shoutouts to Corridor Digital.

Love that channel. It was one of those dream things where you're in the moment and also at a different time that being that being listening to people debate about the video I'm currently filming, gotcha. Yeah, I get what you're saying. It's just seems like a dream reality. Like it's it's off the wall. It doesn't make sense to me that you're like, I got you.

But you're like, I cannot picture things in my mind's eye. You know what I mean? Like it's so complex what they're talking about in this in this dream that you're reading off paper. I understand. Like I get it. Yeah, that's my problem. Like I understand concepts. I just can't visualize it. Yeah, it might force your brain to do this.

It doesn't work like that. It's such a visual process for me. It's like wild that for some people it isn't. The manager shows up looking really annoyed and approaches me about the cup. I forgot about the cup. Yeah, the bird woman is like totally gone now. She's disappeared. The manager opens the register to pay me for the cup

because it's just something I'm supposed to show up and demand money for. Apparently she gives me is that three thousand four three hundred and forty. Yeah, maybe it's three thousand dollars, forty eight cents and forty four. Microsense, micro sense, micro and forty four. No sense. The last two digits representing this little bag of dust she filled up at the register, which was money, I guess. So there's three hundred and forty four dust, dusticles, dust bag.

Then I wake up with this feeling of dread. Like if I turn my head, the bird woman is going to be right there in my room. This gets read on the podcast and Jesse wants to squeeze a little bit of extra meaning out of his dream. I'll give the context of last month or so. I've been tasked with moving the belongings out of the home. A dead relative I've never met and had injured my shoulder, getting it done. Then after all that was done, I recovered.

I started cleaning out a storage room in my house to similar strain minus the injury. Yeah. Dear carbon footprint, who's got America's largest electrified line up Toyota? Fifteen hybrid plug in fuel cell electric and battery electric vehicles from the new Prius to the RAV4 hybrid, the Crown and the Tundra I4 smacks. Toyota's the name of the electrified game. As our lineup gets larger, your footprint gets smaller.

Get the juice on Toyota dot com juice. Yep, juice. Toyota, let's go places. Any hour services has a team of technicians that can take care of any plumbing, electrical or air conditioning needs you might have around your house. Got a drain that's clogged? Call any hour services. Need a ceiling fan installed? Call any hour services.

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I guess it also depend on how the relative died, even if you haven't met them. That might be interesting to delve into. But so, I mean, God, there's a lot here. Yeah, they just saw the Momo challenge a couple of years late. I mean, I mean, that's that could be it, too. Right. I'm getting a big flavor of like, like YouTube paranormal culture being a part of this, like kind of like and rather than just seeing something and experiencing it in the moment,

you're kind of like doing the thing that we do almost for a living. Like, I mean, we're not as the influencer as some people are. But, you know, people who just like instead of looking at the thing, they pull out their camera and react to it. Like kind of has that vibe to me a little bit like we even go to a react channel reacting to the filming of the video. And it's weird. Yeah, sorry. No, no, no, go for it.

All I was going to say, it's also interesting that there's two versions of you, the one that's helping and the one that's filming. So I wonder if like I wonder if somebody in your life doesn't necessarily believe the things you say. So you're getting evidence of yourself doing these things so that there is no doubt to wherever you show that this thing was happening. But it's just a fucking weird. There's a pretty substantial theory about

videoing and videotaping things and dreams and how it is or the idea of you watching something in a dream that involves yourself. And it's as simple as you are acknowledging your actions and you're watching yourself and you're getting feedback on things you've done and you're sort of judging your own actions. So it's like instead of someone else watching you, you're being reflective of yourself.

And so the you who's filming is watching the you who's helping and you are kind of like monitoring and acknowledging your actions when dealing with this this person. So that's like a big thing that has always been around. And when it comes to emaciated people, I mean, I guess it depends on a ton of different things. But it's I mean, it could do with. You know, something in your life that's lacking

or that you are not taking care of or something in your life that, you know, the idea of like even watering a plant fits. I don't know. The mass thing, I think, is very obvious. Just the world we live in. Oh, MPC, creative MPC design by your brain. Yeah. Yeah, I love that's a lot of visual. Very silent Hill like monster based on the coronavirus epidemic.

Yeah, I'm trying to go through and I wonder if the bird woman. I wonder what the bird part means. Is there a thing I can look up about bird bird woman dream? I have no idea what this is about to tell me here. I hear all I've got is that maybe we're talking about a world that's in the world of covid. Let's say if we're if we're looking at the nurses as or like the nurses, like the the the surgical mask wearing people who aren't actually nurses.

They just look like nurses because they're wearing surgical masks. If we think about them as like the background setting and you think about something happening and them not being able to see it or react to it or the employees not reacting to it, like they said, it's something crazy that's happening that you can even you can even film with your camera to get evidence of. And even that is not enough to for somebody to believe something now, even if it's in front of their face.

You know what I mean? I don't know about the specifics of a bird woman. I I don't know what that I don't know either about that. Kind of has like an Egyptian vibe to me a little bit. Yeah, I'm trying to I mean basically the same thing that we always say all the time is, you know, things that are going on in your life affected a bunch and that's kind of what people are saying. But it's very weird.

This guy is like I had a dream of a half human half bird creature. What's that about? And everyone's just like, bro, seems like you have crazy dreams. That's like it. And he says no, yeah, no special meaning. A lot of people are saying, you know, there's ancient Egyptian things that you could look at depends on what the bird is. This guy's like, well, peacock, it could have something to do with victory.

Also, the idea of transforming. It could mean it's another weird personality. I don't know. That's true. Yeah. Weird. Yeah. I did my best. You did. We tried. I mean, it's just a fucking cool sounding dream just to be like, like I said, horror inspiration for a very, very silent hill.

Very silent. Yeah, I love it. Yeah. All right, Alex, this next one's all yours, bro. Oh, man, love the title on this one. They love that they don't. I love that they, you know, a good title creates like a question that you need answered. And this one does it so elegantly. It's called Ghost Roommate, question mark by Coffee Queen 98.

My partner moved into my house a month ago. We knew each other for about a year and a half before we moved in. They told me about the three ghosts that was attached to them. Evelyn, before we move on, sorry. Yeah. You're dating somebody. They're like, hey, yeah, heads up. There are three ghosts attached to me. Yeah.

Would you move on with that relationship? Would you move in with them? We definitely have to talk about it. Let me ask you a question. Scale of one to 10. OK. How likely is she willing to have sex with me? The ghost or the girlfriend? Girlfriend. I would hope a 10.

Like if you're if you're like, I got this in the bag and they're like, I have three ghosts attached to me. You're like, I might still be it. No, no, I'm definitely in. If anything, I want the ghost to watch. OK, well, maybe not these girls. Oh, I want to be like you watching ghost. It's not a 100 percent deal breaker,

but it depends on how the conversation goes. I'm in 100 percent. I'm in there. You want to see it. You like it a little bit visceral. You like the little extra. Yeah, I want to know their names. The Tony Chachere's former occupations.

I'm going to theme the whole thing around it. It's like to the to the to the bedroom. And that's true. Many so 69, which is available now on patreon.com slash Illuminati pot, by the way. Where did we get to? They told me about the three ghosts that was attached to them. Evelyn, a small little girl that has long black hair

who mostly resides in the master bedroom and bedroom, a master bathroom and bedroom and Timmy and Tommy, who are twins that like to run around the house at night. Someone sounds like playing too much Animal Crossing. That sounds like some kind of weird demon poltergeist type energy. At first, I thought my partner was crazy exclamation point. But then I saw little flashes of them.

Evelyn loves the bathroom, so they would open the door randomly during the day. That's scary. One time I was just chilling on the bed and I looked at the bathroom and the door was half open. Nobody was here except me. And I always close the door. Another time I was about to shower

and I saw a small head that the person was squatting behind the door. That's fucked up at the bottom of the door. Yeah, no, I hate that. I quickly turned on the light and then the head was gone. No, no, no. Evelyn also liked to draw. She can also she can only draw shapes.

I was excitedly grabbed my sketchbook and drew a smiley face. And the next day when I woke up, I got one back. She is a good kid exclamation point. Timmy and Tommy at night would run up and down the hallway at 3 a.m. all the time, like they were playing tag. I was washing dishes when I suddenly felt something watching me in a cold breeze.

Yes, can I help you? It was weird at that moment. I felt like a mom who was doing chores and the kid watching their mom waiting for her to finish so he can get attention. Before I left the kitchen, I saw fingers let go of the side of the wall and hide like the. Oh, no, she saw me.

It was weird. Timmy likes to look outside the window. If the blinds are closed, he would open them even at night. That's why my partner keeps the blinds open during the day and partly at night. I haven't found out much about Tommy yet, but if I do, I will tell you guys. Anyway, thank you for listening.

And always, Chilluminati Pod can share this. Hell, yeah. I mean, first of all, kid ghosts are the worst kinds of ghosts because they're easily the creepiest by a factor of like 10 and having them peeking around the corner and fingers disappearing around the side of a doorway and a head disappearing at the bottom of the door.

It's too much like the imagery of a scary ghost video. You know what I mean? Yeah. I guess that's exactly what you would see, but it just has this it has this flavor of horror movie that makes me feel like it's like too much. Like I'm not trying to say anything about the validity of this specific story or anything. It's just when the stories involve stuff like that,

it's hard for me to. Understand what it would feel like to see that, though I will say that my dad has a really similar story about, you know, my dad is also very skeptical, except about aliens. He's like 100 percent on board about aliens. But with ghosts and stuff, very skeptical. But he tells the story all the time of one night when he was up late washing the dishes

and he has one of those classic American kitchens where the like little window is there above the sink and you look out in the darkness and he was looking out in the darkness and it just felt really weird. And then he heard somebody breathing like on his neck and saying his name from like right behind his neck and he turned around and there was no one in the house with him. So that's a real thing.

I mean, I don't know if it's real, but that's a real thing that my dad says and he's not a crazy person the last time I checked. I mean, fair, fair point. Yeah, enough. Yeah, I'm with you. This seems a little weird, little to who he said, horror movie. And I just can't get over to me and Tom.

The only thing that's weird to me about this that's like strange to me is that this the premise of this is that my partner moved into my house. Right. And they are bringing the ghosts with them into the house. Yeah, they're attached to that person. Yeah. And so how does this person know their names? Like I said, so much. I'm so curious and like, why do they have like like things they do in this new house?

You know what I mean? Like it's it's they love the master bathroom and bedroom of the new place like it's weird. Yeah. So it's so it's all been in one month. So this must be I would love. OK, Coffee Queen 98. I would love for you to take some footage of this and get it online. We asked this is happening all in a month. Yeah, it should be easy.

We asked for footage at the live show. And I you know, I don't know what we're going to do with that or where that's going or how that's if somebody is posting that somewhere. But those New Orleans ghosts picks. Those are so good. And I would just love for people to start sharing their own evidence. Like if you guys start doing ghosts hunts or seances, please, please record that shit and please, please share the the the evidence.

Paranormal evidence. That's the new fan stories. I would love to see some stuff and react to some stuff that you've made. And we might even make a video out of it if you do it. So please, pretty please do that. I would love that. Give us that evidence that we can also rip apart. It'll be a good time. All right.

On to the next stories. This is simply titled Experiences by I sell cabbages. Trustworthy guy. Nice, simple man like that. Right. Hello, everyone. I have listened for a long time, love it and figured I should post my not experiences here because it gives people a good chuckle of nothing else. Jesse, I picked this one for you because you like the last episodes. One so much. I'm ready for it.

It says if any of the hosts read this or if it somehow makes it on the show, then my gosh, that means I've made it. You're right. You're famous. Congratulations. I sell cabbages to start off. I'll explain that I believe in certain things like angels, ghosts and aliens, which I got to admit that's a very that's a variety. You're open to a lot of stuff already. Right. Yeah, exactly. Though they say, though, I highly doubt there have been nearly as many

sightings as are documented for these. Yeah, that's this could be. Yeah, it's fair. And this could be due to my religious background. However, I never had an actual experience myself. Are you in the cult of rail? Like, are you in railism? I do. I don't know if this is a tangent, but on the subreddit, people keep posting they're getting targeted ads from railing.

And that's all my that's on me for saying it out loud. So if you listen to it on a speaker, I apologize. Yeah, they picked that up. Samsung, gotcha. However, I never had an actual experience myself. Only experiences others have told me about. Having said that, here are three experiences that I have had that turned out to be fake later.

I thought that you guys might find it funny. So this is experiences initially perceived to be paranormal that actually have a rather straightforward explanation. The first one is the hooked nose man. When I was younger, my parents didn't want my brother and I going into the basement by ourselves. Gary's stories to tell in the dark, like, what's going on here? So my dad told us, don't you know the hook nose man is down there?

And any time we asked, all he would say is maybe you're afraid of the hook nose man and never give context. We never paid much thought. But after years of saying this, we had an experience. We had a bar in the basement that my cousin, my brother, and I had a picture taken of us on. When the picture was developed, we saw a blurry figure behind the cabinet with a strange crooked mustache

and a hook nose. Oh, my God. Yeah, that'd be horrifying. My dad confirmed that that was the hook nose man's. And once again, asked, maybe you're afraid of the hook nose man. For years, I wouldn't go into the basement alone. Even in high school, I would have chills. But then one day when I was in college and when we were moving to our new house,

I was helping pack my parents' closet when a box fell. What was in it was a mask of a fanged monster with a mustache and a hook nose. All those years and my dad never once told me that he was the figure in the picture. And to this day, almost 10 years after the discovery, he keeps asking us, maybe you're afraid of the hook nose man. And we all laugh.

This story specifically when I read this, Jesse, reminded me of the time that you on stream, the couple of friends, did that whole fake ghost moving doll in the background. Oh, my God. A whole stream. Was that Bradley? Yes. Yeah, Bradley in a bear was teddy bear. We did a stream and our friend Brooke, who's been on the show, she has this giant or did have a giant stuffed bear in the background.

You've seen this bear. This is like a internet Mary that you've seen. And so we got our friend Bradley to get in it. And during a stream, he sat back there for hours and would slowly start moving. Yeah. And so we didn't say anything. And on the internet, on her reddit, where all these clips of like, it moved. We didn't say a thing. It was amazing.

What a one of the same vibe, same energy. I bet you and I bet you that this dad is the same type of person who like pretends like they're sleeping for no reason. When people get home with people just to be fucking weird. Like, did you know I saw? Sorry, I was sleeping. What's up? All right. Experience two is called Night Shift Whale. Oh. At my job, we have a night shift rotation in our department. A Doctor Who episode.

Yeah, I haven't watched Doctor Who in a while. Anyway, we had three people in the rotation at the time and rotated every two weeks. One night when I was on Night Shift, I started hearing a noise like a whale. Not a whale like a banshee, but a whale in the ways like Dory from Finding Nemo. So, you know, you're telling that. Oh, yeah. Exactly. The first time it happened, I shrugged it off, but then it happened again and again. Each time it happened, it was in a different part of the building.

When I would go to investigate, I wouldn't see anything and the sound would stop. I was so confused and brought this up to my boss. My co-worker started making fun of me, saying it must be a ghost, but I kept hearing it. Then the next two rotations, my co-workers mentioned hearing it too. And while I thought they were mocking me at first, I could tell they were just as confused as I was. My next rotation on Night Shift and I started seeing things too.

Shadows around the halls, feelings of being watched and that same whale noise. I thought I was going crazy, but then one day before my night shift, the building manager came to came to me. He said he heard the complaints from our department about a whale noise and wanted to show me something. Apparently, during my first rotation, when I heard these noises, they were new. There were some new pipes being put into the ceiling for heating and cooling.

The occasionally at night, those pipes would turn on to keep the building in the correct temperature. And some of the new pipes were more loose than the others. And apparently, when air went through those loose parts of the pipes, it made that whale noise. Nose for rot too. After that explanation, I would hear the whale noise, but never saw anyone any more shadows or had the feeling of being watched.

I assumed that it was all in my head and manifested itself in the thoughts of a ghost whale at Haunted Company. But the interesting part for this one is just the figures you started to see that you were either so afraid and paranoid that your brain was starting to interpret things just completely paranormal. Because the loose pipe noise doesn't explain the figures you saw. I, you know, listen, you guys have heard me tell the story where I sat there in my car for an hour trying to figure out

what a bunch of bush was on top of a fence. You know what I mean? Up until the very moment that you are sure that you know what it is, it could be literally anything. It could be Death Stranding IRL. You never know. Yeah, that's going to happen. You never know when the whole world is going to turn into ghost and goop. Did you do two games in a row with giant whales?

Yes. Yes. That's why we actually did. Yeah. That's. Oh, wow. Never thought of it. Yeah, you know, because Kojima and like out of everything he's done, giant whales are like the least of the weird. That's true. I'm with you. Yeah. Guys, check out. You guys like video games. Check out the works of Hideo Kojima. Snatchers was available on Sega CD.

Go give it a look. All right. Last experience from this person. This is simply says a skin walker. Yeah. Dear traction, Toyota's got 20 vehicles with available all wheel drive and four wheel drive to grip every twist and every turn. Come rain, slick, sleet or snow, leaves, mud, gravel or sharp turns. Tackle the trails in the nimble rav four, drive steady in the classy

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Just remember to keep your hands and feet inside the eyeglass world at all times. Get two pairs of glasses for eighty nine dollars fast at Eyeglass World, the world's best way to buy glasses. Visit eyeglassworld.com to schedule your exam online and for offer details. So while the story can't be proven that it's not supernatural, I personally don't believe it is and the outcome was more or less pretty funny. A family friend and his family were going to go on vacation. They they asked me to house it for their dog and cats and I agreed.

This has the energy of a story that is about to get like extremely fucked up or something. I don't know why, but it just feels like it's going to be fucking scary now. Between the time I agreed in my in me house, sitting for them, I had a rotator cuff injury and had to keep my arm in a sling. So the only place I could sleep was the recliner in the living room. Their backyard is a pretty forested area. Already, I hate like the visual of this giant living room. All glass walls.

And then our forest backyard during the day. Forest. I know that's beautiful at the night, the sun falls and night descends. That is where you get murdered. That's how I know I'm a city boy. I can I can be in my room and I can hear people literally screaming and throwing their own shit around outside, literally drunk people fighting. You know, it's people. Yes, sirens going off, gunshots.

I've heard it all. I've seen it all living where I do in Los Angeles, so centrally located. But the moment that I'm in a city and I leave and I go to the forest and I have to look out at the woods, a man could that I that I was expecting could come and show up out of the woods and I would probably shoot him in self defense, how scared I would be. I lived in the woods for a long time and it's like, man, even just the here, like you hear the red foxes screaming and shit.

And you just like, it sounds like a woman being murdered, haunting. Yeah. Or you just step outside and you can hear all the deer walking, but you can't see anything. So you just hear like just like something is in the woods, walking slowly. It's awful, but it's also beautiful. You ever heard coyotes like like all around you? Packs of them. So scared. We I lost this is a sad story,

but we used to have a feral cat that would come by for food and shelter. Her name was Kitty. It's all we called her. And we heard her being murdered by coyotes. Oh, my God. Because she never came back the next day and it was a cat screaming as coyotes were like, and then it just stopped. It was awful. It was a little sad. That's true. I don't know.

Yeah, the Chupacabras came in and finished this long time ago. Anyway, their backyard is a pretty forested area, but their dog is very what a danger to go on. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. Just reminded me of like you brought the coyotes and I just that'll forever be in my mind. I get it. That experience. Yeah. Their backyard is pretty forested area and their dog is very good at going out, doing what he had to do and coming back in without needing a leash.

The only stipulation is he loved to chase animals. So he's a dog. Squirrels and rabbits are OK for him to chase, but deer and coyote would show up sometimes that he couldn't go out when they were also around. One night, I woke up at around 1 a.m. and on the on the recliner because I heard the dog whimper. It was different from as usual.

I want to go outside whimper, but I turned on the lights, saw nothing outside and opened the door for him to go out. He didn't want to, which is weird. So I go back to sleep on the recliner. Then maybe 15 minutes later, the dog starts growling. I wake up and see he's growling at the big window in the living room. I turned to see what was outside and there was a coyote just kind of staring at the house. It's not uncharacteristic for the dog to growl at animals outside.

And I thought this could explain why he was acting how he was earlier. So I waited and after about 10 minutes, I saw the coyote duck behind some trees where there is a small creek. I knew the dog wanted to go outside. So I went to scope the area out first to make sure it was gone before I let the dog out. That's brave. I walked. I would have been like, there's 80 coyotes out there waiting for me. Yeah, just one coyote.

So the way like as far as I understand the way coyotes work, especially if they find prey, they'll send up one coyote trying to lure it out. Yes, they like lure them out and then the pack will attack as like gets played with. What the fuck are these coyotes? What's wrong with these guys? They're pack hunters, man. Coyotes are pack hunters. This is how they were.

Sure, I know. I walked my way outside with my phone flashlight on, going by where the coyote was last seen near the creek. As I turned by the tree, a crow started calling and flew up right past my face. You're just playing a horror game now. Yeah, everything is changed. I'm picturing a far side comic with a crow and a coyote like, yo, you want to fuck with some guy?

Yeah, crows are smart enough to do it. It scared the heck out of me. And with my one arm in a sling and the other arm holding my phone, I fell down and slammed the side of my face in mud. And very fortunate, I landed on the side of my body without the injury. I scream and laid there screaming for a little bit while this dumb crow fell off, I flew off and landed in a tree and then flew off again. I slowly got up, stumbled back to the house and let the dog outside.

They did their business. I got a nice two a.m. shower and the rest of the night I was wondering was that coyote, a skin walker that turned into a crow. I only asked this because the coyote was nowhere to be seen once I finally calm down. Odds are most likely not by any stretch. That's a big thing that it was. That's a Zach Baggins level leap.

Was this a skin walker that changed from a coyote to a crow? That's a nukes top five ending as well. It's very suitable. Did you see and much like a lot of stories, they say if people like this, they could they could share how they went to a haunted prison and had no experience whatsoever while everyone else there seemed to be lucky and have experience. Seems like you already did share it, didn't you?

You know, yeah, you didn't see the way that one was going to go. That one's creepy just because of the just the time of the the the location, the four animals act like we're fucked up every time, no matter what. Period. And coyotes are quick. You're probably like long ducked away before you could even see where it went. And a crow is probably just watching how dumb a dumb human was trying to chase a coyote to animals, coyotes and crows that are both like uncomfortably intelligent compared to most animals.

You know, it just makes you feel weird, especially if they're working together, you're like, what's going on here? Did they steal my they steal my shiny stuff? This year, they steal some dog food that was sitting on the deck. You never know. You got to be careful with you. Never know. You never know. Yeah, that's how it goes. So this next one is for either one of your boys to grab.

It's the last one of the episode here. And he gave a bunch of stories. So I just plucked two of them out of the four that he put down for whoever wants to read it to read. So, Jesse, I think you're up next if you want to take it. But if you want Alex to read it, he's welcome to read it too. I don't care. I mean, that's fine. I'll do it. I'll do it.

I mean, my old eyes. I don't even like reading. It's fine. It's cool. I'll just hang out on patreon.com slash Chaluminati pod and listen to the minisodes that are available instead of reading. How about that? I like the way you think I'm going to stick around. I would be rude to leave at this point. All right, Jesse, take it away. A couple of weird experiences.

Hmm. Monochrome duchy. Hey, I joined Reddit specifically to get these stories to y'all and you can use them on the podcast if you want. So enjoy disclaimer for Jesse specifically. While I do believe in the paranormal, I don't like to jump into everything as a ghost or demon. I try to rationalize strange happenings. Anyway, here is story one of four.

Goblin, right? Right. Well, he's like, yeah, dude, I'm not going straight to ghost or demon. I like to choose what things are based on a case by case basis. This is not a ghost nor a demon. This is a goblin rake thing. Yes. So this happened when I was about 13. It was in the middle of summer and maybe around 10 p.m.

Give or take. It was dark out and had been for a while at least. I was hanging out with my neighbor, who was my age, who we will call Stephanie and her friend, who we will call Jessica. Y'all. All right. All right. We were in Stephanie's room, watching TV and to give a little perspective, I will try my best to tell you the layout of the area of her house.

Stephanie's room was set up where her bed was in the corner with a clear view through the door. Right outside said door was the living area with a big couch and a TV, as well as some PCs for homework and gaming purposes. Some PCs. Yeah. Five kids. When I walk into a streamer house. Yeah, five kids. Yeah.

That's what it was. The upstairs was basically set up just for them. Interesting. And directly across the living area from Stephanie's room was her brother's room. He wasn't he either wasn't home or was downstairs at the time. I don't remember. I just know his door was open and the lights were off. So it was very dark in there. Stephanie, Jessica and I were sitting on Stephanie's bed watching TV.

I think it was some Disney Channel show like Hannah Montana or something. The point is classic. It was the exact opposite of scary. There was nothing going on that would have our nerves or imaginations working against us unless you were like into Jessica or Stephanie or they were into each other. Tension building, brewing, everyone's on a knife's edge. Will they won't they?

Who knows? Concoction of hormones. Yes. Come on. 13. Yeah, that's all that places. That's all hormones. Anyway, the point is it was the exact opposite. It's scary. My family had been close with Stephanie's family for a very long time

to the point where we wouldn't knock on the front doors anymore. We just walk into each other's houses and yell out to announce our arrival. But the parents loved that. Yeah, I was very comfortable in that house, even in the dark, and knew it like the back of my hand as we were watching TV. Jessica turns her head to look out of the room. She then remains that way, causing me and Stephanie to look as well. What I saw crouched in the door of Stephanie's brother's room

was terrifying to say the least. It looked kind of like a goblin with pale gray skin pulled tight over its bony frame. It's the same motherfucker that took that kid's toy. It is the dream murder goblin. Its head was large, its ears were pointed and ragged. Remembering its eyes sends a shiver down my spine. They were huge, like three times the size of a human's. They were milky pale yellow color with no visible pupils or whites.

Its fingers were unnaturally long and spindly spindly. Yeah. Oh, it was just staring at us, making eye contact with it, sent me into a cold sweat. Then next thing I knew, Stephanie had gotten up out of the bed and a brisk walk went to close her door. Neither Stephanie nor Jessica said anything about it. So I didn't either. I didn't know if they had seen it too.

At 13, I didn't want to come off as, you know, weird. So I kept my mouth shut. Fast forward 10 years, I've been Stephanie's car with her while we're on our way to somewhere random, probably. She hadn't spoken to Jessica in years after a teenage drama fallout. There was drama. The worst. Law and order sound. But it recently just got back in touch with her.

She was catching me up on Jessica's life that she had gotten married and she and her husband were thinking of starting a family, that kind of thing. Then Stephanie says, Hey, do you remember that one summer we were hanging out in my room at night? And I said, probably we did that a lot. To which Stephanie replied, the one time Jessica was with us. Now, I hadn't thought about that in a very long time.

It had been 10 years and I had just chalked it up to the whole my 13 year old brain seeing things in the dark. The sentence, the sentence having unlocked the memory. I replied with a hesitant. Yes, that's pretty good. To which she proceeds to describe the exact creature I saw. Detail for detail. I was shocked to say the least.

And when I told her I had seen it, too, we just sat and sat for a bit before she called Jessica over the car's Bluetooth. She and Stephanie had a similar exchange to what we had had. And then she asked, she'd seen anything strange. Jessica hesitated before replying with a yes and then proceeded to describe exactly what Stephanie and I saw. Well, that's the end of the story. Nothing crazy happened afterwards.

I just think it's weird that we all describe the exact same thing after 10 years of having never talked about it. I agree. I love that. I yeah, those are some of my favorite stories where you and like a small group of people can corroborate, but the sighting was short. You all seemingly saw the same thing. You don't have any evidence for it and you never see it again. Just like a moment of your life.

Delicious, delicious, goes to make you sit there and question reality for the rest of your life. It's like when it's the time when my at that family dinner, everybody talked about the ghost that we all saw. Or Kelly has one where she like was driving a car with her friends and she saw like a ghost like or something out of the car when everybody saw it together kind of thing. You know, it's those are the fun.

That's my favorite. I just want to take us back to the top really quick. I'm going to start again. I joined Reddit specifically to get these stories to y'all and you can use them on the podcast if you want. So enjoy disclaimer for Jesse specifically. While I do not believe in the paranormal, I don't like to jump into everything ghost or demon.

I try to rationalize strange happen. Anyway, here's story one of four. And the next story is car demon. Story number two. Yeah, car demon. Yeah, story number two. Don't jump to me immediately. But story number two.

Then you go right to demon. Yeah. Bringing back Stephanie for this one. Yo, I love this whole recurrent character thing. And our friend Cody, oh, our friend, who we will call Cody. Now, for our late teens to early 20s, it wasn't uncommon for the U.S. just to hang out just about every night

until about three in the morning. That's what I do by myself now. I remember those days when I did it with friends and didn't do it alone. Yeah. We would then proceed to drive Cody home to his house in the middle of nowhere about 30 minutes from us. Are you saying all three of us do this at night?

Still to this day, all three of us alone separately? I think Jesse probably is the one that goes to bed at a reasonable hour. That's a lie. I don't buy it. Yeah. Desi, I'm up till 3 a.m. Every front. I'm just like, the reason is I just show the opposite at 9 a.m. every morning. Does not mean I go to bed at a reasonable hour.

Mathis knows. Mathis knows. I stay up and I get up early. Yeah, you guys have this ability to wake up. No, I don't. Which is just get worse and worse every day. Yeah, it just hurts more now than it did before each time. Oh, God. Well, we pull into his driveway. He got out of the car second night, then headed into his house

like good friends. We hung on the driveway until we saw him get inside. That is a good friend move. Very nice. Very considerate. As he should. Then Stephanie puts her car in reverse and she backs up into a narrow dirt road that led to his house in the process of backing up. So as not to run over Cody's mailbox, we have to back

a little ways into the bushes, onto the property of the people that live across the street from Cody. It was almost as soon as the car touched the bushes that all the hair on my arm stood on end and I got an uneasy feeling. Stephanie then put the car in drive and started down the road. Almost instantly she whispered to me, do you feel that too? To which I nodded and like a dumb person I am decided to turn around

and take a look. What I saw can only be described as a skinny, long humanoid that looked like it had been burned alive. I'm a very calm person. I would not be calm if I saw this. This is the second Hideo Kojima villain that has been in one of these stories in a row. Yeah, you had the whale and now we got the fireman.

My flight. Maybe it's because the director's cut was a release, so it's fresh in people's minds. I got it. Yeah. My fight or flight instinct is broken beyond repair. In most situations, I'm very nonchalant and uninterested. I've had a firework shot right at me and instead of jumping out of the way, I sat down and grabbed my beer. So when I say the sight of this thing sent me into full panic attack, I mean it.

When I got back to our neighborhood, poor Stephanie stayed awake with me until about six in the morning when I finally when I was finally comfortable to go home and get some rest to which I didn't until around eight that evening. The end. Demon demon. But here's there's no sign of that body. He's no sign of that being in some fucked up shit right there.

That's like some John dies at the end type shit. A fucking burned body behind you that you knew was there because you felt it. I hate that. Yeah, that's rough. I absolutely hate that. That's like the things that I know is going to happen to me some day that's just going to if once it happens, I'm just fucked for the rest of my life.

I will say there are certain times when like if I come back to my apartment and notice something seems a little weird, I will actively like look in every room. You're like, come on, bring it on. What do you what are you in your mind when you do that? Like, what's like going to happen if you run into like? Oh, I'm like, truthfully, I think it's a person. I'm not concerned of like a ghoul,

but I'm a little worried like maybe there's a person in my apartment. So are you going to like attack, like hit him, like get him? Oh, I don't think that far. I literally just like quickly open the door like, oh, there's like no one there. You try to element a surprise. Yeah, if I could realize that guy who gets killed by Michael Myers is what you are. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm aware. I'm aware. But for a moment, I don't think you can take him.

I mean, I'm going to try there. Sure as hell, I'm going to try. Yeah. Puts his phone away. Thank you, everybody, for dropping us all those wonderful stories. There's just so too many to choose from. There's so many that we couldn't choose. So if you enjoyed reading stories, head over to our subreddit. Go ahead and check it out.

People have been posting stories over there for fucking years at this point. But fuck that up the ante this time. I mean what I said, I don't care if I don't care if it happened to you or someone, you know, I know that somewhere in your life, you have a pristine, delicious, private piece of paranormal evidence, not something that you pulled from YouTube, something that your uncle's friend has on their phone. I want that piece of footage.

I don't want something that I could Google. Bring me your shit. I want to see it and bonus bonus. If you have this situation where you have ghosts attached to and you live in the greater Los Angeles area, please give me your full dossier. I want to know what's going on. I want to know about all the paranormal entities around me. Yeah, can we also just visit your home and stay the night?

Listen, one step at a time. But if you live in the greater Los Angeles area and you have a legit family haunting that's not just something you made up to go on reddit.com, please let me know on reddit.com slash Chilluminati pod. Yeah, or you can email Chilluminati pod to tell us that it's because it's for reddit.com slash Chilluminati pod. The greatest website ever made with the greatest pictures, the greatest discord links and the greatest ever.

Many so it's that you want to see extra, extra credit. If you've got the bean boy on film, if you get real, I. OK, extra bonus point homework, make the greatest hoax footage of the Boston bean boy that you've ever seen. If you can get the bean boy on a nukes top five, you win. I will pay you one thousand dollars cash money. If it is like nukes top five, it is this is like Boston. If he's like, there is a legend in Boston,

Massachusetts of a bean boy who only has legal weed. I would love. I would love to see that, too. Oh, God. That's your homework. Thank you. Also, hey, shut up to the bean boys we got at the live show. Just one. Oh, God, there's so there is. They're on the subreddit, a wonderful website as well, which you can go see the 3D printed ones.

I I'm it's good. It's on my it's on my desk forever now. It's it's on my writing desk till the end of time. One of the greatest gifts I've ever gone in any live event. Very good stuff. And we're going to go give you the best in many so your money can buy at patreon.com. So let me know.

Chilumani pod as we go carefully prepared presentation, which we. Curate each week just for you every week. I've got two great videos for you boys today. So I love that. We'll talk about that. You guys head on over to Chilumani patreon.com slash Chilumani pod. And hey, if you want, if you have an Instagram, follow us over on Instagram.

Same name, Chilumani pod. Same thing on Twitter. And if you want to follow all of us, I am at Mathis Games. Jesse's at Jesse Cox and Alex is at Fosse on a a we'll see you next week. Goodbye, happy Halloween. Thanksgiving, I mean, happy Thanksgiving, happy Thanksgiving. John's Disney's John Smith. All right, I'm out.

I'm out. Anyway, me and my wife were sitting outside indulging on our porch one night, enjoying ourselves. I needed to go to the bathroom, so I stepped back inside. And after a few moments, I hear my wife go, holy shit, get out here. So I quickly dash back outside. She's looking up at the sky and I look up to there's a perfect line of dozen lights traveling across the sky.

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