Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 149 - The Alex Faciane Conspiracy and Paranormal Gameshow!

Episode Date: April 21, 2022

LIVE SHOW TICKETS:  http://www.chilluminatipod.com WE HAVE A PLUSHIE OF MOTHMAN COMING. GO TO THEYETEE LINK IN THE DECRIPTION Patreon - http://www.patreon.com/chilluminatipod BUY OUR MERCH - http://www.theyetee.com/collections/chilluminati Special thanks to our sponsors this episode Manscaped - http://www.manscaped.com Promo Code: Chill20 Joybird - http://www.joybird.com/chill FelixGray - http://www.felixgrayglasses.com/chill Code: BIRTHDAY15 Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - http://www.youtube.com/user/superbeardbros Art Commissioned by - http://www.mollyheadycarroll.com Theme - Matt Proft End song - POWER FAILURE - https://soundcloud.com/powerfailure Video - http://www.twitter.com/digitalmuppet

At McCormick Gourmet, we go further for flavor. Every tiny step we take, from sourcing quality spices to implementing organic farming practices to preserving natural resources, makes an impact on our planet and your plate. McCormick Gourmet, learn more about our farming practices at McCormickGourmet.com. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the Chiluminati podcast, episode 149. As always, I am one of your hosts, Mike Martin, joined by the Tyler Durd and the narrator in his head. Oh, shit.

Of L.A. That's a head scratcher. That's what that is. Oh, shit. Who is he? We don't talk about that, Mathis. I am Jesse's giant Elden Ring collector's addition that is sitting on his table behind him.

I am the weird Panama hat on a pile of crap next to that next to it that I can't really tell what it is. No one can see that. No one can see that. It will be, dude, this joke will be slain if you were a hacker who had access to Jesse's webcam. Let me tell you right now. That one person out there, that one person.

That one guy in like the middle of Eastern Europe, yeah, he's got you, dude. Yeah, don't do it. Don't do it. He's been following you for real since Omfg Kata. He's been following your every move. You know what? Bless that dude. Bless.

That guy's been there from the beginning. This is a completely off topic, but last week I meant to bring this up. Boys, I went to New York for a couple of days, like a week or so. I'm a full on New Yorker now. I saw a used tampon on the sidewalk and that was really cool and I stepped off the train. I stepped off the train and on the other side, leaning up against the wall was a guy getting a blow job. Just like, hey, I was like, you know what?

I feel like I could live in the city. Yeah, I like that. I can't wait to go back. It's an excellent place to be. I could do New York in another life. I could do New York. I would another life. Yeah, I could see it.

In the same way that Davidson but had to America, I could do New York. You know what? We're doing Austin, Texas, everybody next month. Look at that transition. Oh, you like that? We're in May 26, guys. We are more than half sold out. The VIP tickets at this point, at this point of recording, there's only six left.

They're probably gone. Yeah. They might very well. You probably already missed it, you slowpoke. But if they're there, fucking go get it because you're going to get a bunch of free swag. You're going to get a 30 minute pre-show with us where we hang out and talk and maybe answer some questions or do something. And then you get a cool laminated badge.

All the VIP members are going to get like a laminated badge for us. Nice, nice, nice. You better get those tickets fast because if you were trying to get a VIP ticket and you didn't get that and then you can't even get a regular ticket to the show, man. You feel so silly. You'll have to stand on your face. What are they? What happens in Texas?

You get sand on your face? Yeah. Or you just get bitten by a brown recluse. Oh, shit. Damn. Whoa. Dude. Okay.

So this is our show in Texas, Austin, Texas, on May, what is it, May 26th? May 26th. Yep. There you go. You will get bit by a brown recluse. Sorry. Potentially fatal, depending. And we will, if you want to be a recluse who stays inside all day doing nothing but

listening to podcasts, head over to patreon.com. Yeah. To support this podcast on it because we like to make it and get money for doing it. And that makes sure that the show is good. So head over there and you get all kinds of great stuff in return for supporting us too, which is really good. Like you get minisodes, which happened right after this. Every time we record one of these, we get a minisode.

I don't want to pull back the curtain too far. We're recording a minisode. Okay. I don't want to blow the Hollywood magic, but they both get recorded one after the other. And then you get to go listen to it right after this because you're like, I like those guys. I want to listen to them some more. You can.

Okay. I want to listen to them on your part. Art. It's there. Tickets. They were there. They're all. Everything's there.

Actually, at the time this episode is going up, the new teacher just launched. So everybody already knows what it looks like, that fucking alien, the grays abducting like a pizza. So good. So good. So if you're the right tier on patreon, you get that for free. You get a code that'll make it free for you. Also, I don't think we talked about on the show, the Moffman plush is done.

You can go like, go to the esi.com slash Luminati. I know we got a lot of things to show right now, but there's so many, there's so much stuff like all coming out once internal shilling. That's that's my line. You know what I mean? I agree. Yeah. I agree.

Yeah. That's my main zag. Okay. We went back and forth on that plushie for like five months and what we have is so cute and so cuddly. Yeah. He's got what do you call it? Like wait to him.

He's got some squish. You can squish it. That's what we need. Yeah. It's squishable. He's a squishy guy. He's supple. He's tender.

Supple. I don't know. You know, he might be supple and tender and we did all make a dedication. If we hit 20K on the Patreon, we got some tattoos we got to go get. I'm just eating Bigfoot's ass for real. I'm not touching my pure skin with a needle, but I will eat that cryptid's ass. We hit 20K. I will get Bigfoot eight out my entire ass tattooed on my actual ass.

We get it. We get it. Two months in a row. I'll get it the second month and three months in a row. Bigfoot's getting the tattoo because he's going to have such a good time. He's going to want to commemorate it. All right. And then I got approval.

I can also get a Bigfoot tattooed on Gerard's ass. Oh, yeah, baby. I mean, that's approval. That's that G4 ass. That's that G4 cryptid. We can brand him. Okay. Yeah, you love that.

Alex, it's a you episode today. Oh, that's right. Oh, yes, it is. Are you ready? Are you ready for this? I mean, as always, you you lead us into this before we even started recording. You you teased us with some vague promises of grandeur and I'm really nervous. I don't know what you've got because that could mean anything.

Yeah. So first, OK, here we go. Ready? Oh, OK, great. Thank you for allowing me to break character for a second before we start the next episode. Earlier this year, you may remember me promising that when I was in charge of the episodes that I would alternate between random subjects and JFK episodes until the JFK epic that I am creating is complete.

However, this week was supposed to be the first of my big, deep other episodes, which I was planning to have a fun guest on for who I think would particularly enjoy the subject matter of that episode. But I forgot it was Easter weekend and it messed up everybody's schedule. So now we're doing that next week. And instead of that, I, me, Alex Fossiani, the person, not the fun charming internet personality, just the actual guy. I wrote an extra episode of the show for you to enjoy this week, separate from my plan

for 2022. OK, therefore, it does not count as in the rotation is this will be called a guidance style, Alex episode, and will merely serve as a side story to my grander plans for episodes in 2022. You have been informed. So it's like you gave us the main quest in an open world game and we stepped out the main area and we immediately veered right to a side. There's a fucking bird that you have to collect 100 of the first one is like right next to

you. Also this is definitely not because I had to move my nice chunky episode to next week and then I made this one up in like five seconds last minute either. So I'm just saying that's not definitely not what happened here. Anyway, this episode is called the Chaluminati super low stakes game show. And that is exactly what it is. That's right. This is a secret surprise cash cab style game show hidden in the Chaluminati podcast.

That's right. And you guys are both on it. That's right. That's right. I didn't think I didn't think you could surprise me anymore. I thought I had all your tricks right. Talk about mysteries. Talk about answers.

You're on a game show. That's the biggest surprise of all. You're on the Chaluminati super low stakes game show and I call that I call it the super low stakes game show because that's exactly what it is. I'm going to read every question twice. There are no points. You're not tracking scores. And at the end, all three of us are going to agree on a winner together.

So there's no fighting here. This is just a fun thing. Like we each had a couple line readers from 2009 and we're hanging out and we're playing party games together. So feel free to discuss the questions and do answers for the questions together. If you feel like I can see us in an Applebee's bar wearing really cheap shirts, drinking those lime readers back when Chaluminati t-shirts were just team quiz t-shirts at the Applebee's in Riverside.

That's right. But yeah, so feel free to discuss the answers. Feel free to beg me for hints. Don't worry about it. This is all a game show. I'm ready. Yeah, man. This just took a big drag of that.

I'm ready. We're ready to go. All right. Here we go. Are you ready? I mean, I was ready. Do you mean us to say yes for this to work? Say yes.

Yes. I'm ready. Yes. I am ready. All right. Great. Round one is called Andrew W. Quiz. And that's because it's a quiz about all things Andrew W. K.

What the hell is happening right now? Or may not be some kind of multimedia art conspiracy just like me. I just ripped my shirt with my thumb just now just just this moment as part of this. It's not part of the game show ripped a hole right through my shirt with my thumb. Don't worry about that. That's a side drink. That's another. That's a separate part.

I learned recently Andrew. Andrew W. K. was in the backyard wrestling game for the Xbox. The original 100% you can play as him in a game. That's right. And it's like to beat the shit out of people. I think Kimbo Slices in that game. I think you are right. Anyway, Andrew W. Quiz.

Round one. Here we go. Ready? Yes. Question one. How do we how do we buzz in? How do we do this? No, there's no buzzing.

You're just going to each say an answer and then I'm going to tell you and then I'm going to tell you what the right answer is. What if one of us is right first? Each one of you is going to say an answer and then I'm going to say the same answer. That's fine. You can both. We can tie. You can tie.

It's we're all going to decide who wins at the end. It's just a casual. There's no point. Democratic vote. You're just going to say the fans win. That's not right. We're all friends. We're all going to decide together.

It doesn't matter. You're going to be like the winner here was the listener. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to do that because you know what? Because there's a prize involved. So the winner gets an actual prize.

So I'm going to just dangle that. Half of your monthly cut. No, it's just a dangle and you're going to there's going to be a prize. What is it? What's the prize? I can't tell you. We can compete if we don't know what we're competing for. What game show tells you what the prize is at the top besides who wants to be a millionaire?

The $10,000 pyramid. That's right. Okay. No, that's bullshit. That's just a number. Okay. Here we go. Here we go.

Here we go. Andrew W. Quiz round one. Here we go. First question. You guys just both lock in your answer, then I'll tell you the answer. Okay. Ready? It's multiple choice.

Dear carbon footprint. Who's got America's largest electrified lineup? Toyota. 15 hybrid plug-in fuel cell electric and battery electric vehicles from the new Prius to the RAV4 hybrid, the Crown and the Tundra i-Force Max. Toyota's the name of the electrified game. As our lineup gets larger, your footprint gets smaller. Get the juice on toyota.com.

Juice? Yup. Juice. Toyota. Let's go places. Dear traction. Toyota's got 20 vehicles with available all-wheel drive and four-wheel drive to grip every twist and every turn.

Come rain, slick, sleet or snow, leaves, mud, gravel or sharp turns. Tackle the trails in the nimble RAV4. Drive steady in the classy Camry all-wheel drive or turn up the traction in the beefed-up tundra because Toyota's got an iron grip on driving excitement. Find those wheels at toyota.com. Toyota. Let's go places. What is the W.K. in Andrew W.K. short for?

Ready? A. Wild Kid. B. Want Kicks. C. Wilkes Crier. D. White Killer. And again, what is the W.K. in Andrew W.K. short for? A. Wild Kid. B. Want Kicks.

C. Wilkes Crier. D. White Killer. I mean, I'm going to have to go for the sensible one and say C. That's literally me too. I agree with you, but there is, I would say there's like a 15% chance to say. It's like a slight chance. You want to go A? For coverage, I'll go A for coverage.

All right. You want to go C? All right. The answer was C. W.K. Crier. But fun fact, the other ones are lies that Andrew W.K. has told about his name over the years. And another one of those W.K.s that he has said, I kid you not, this was actually in a magazine was woman cum except the cum starts with a K.

Like a Mortal Kombat. I get it. That's exactly right. That's like not even Andrew woman cum is not a great name. I don't want that. Maybe it's women. Maybe. But now I'm thinking about what a cum cumtality would be like in Mortal Kombat.

I don't want to think about that for one more second. Question number two. Melinas would be fucking 10 out of 10. I don't want to think about that. What are we talking about? He's got it right at the surface too. It was like right there. He's like, you know what?

If we bring cum into Mortal Kombat, I'm going straight to Melina. I got to tell you right now. Anyway, anyway, anyway, number two. Question number two. Ready? Here we go. The BBC accused of being the mastermind behind the Andrew W.K. hoax. Dave Grohl.

A. Billy Corrigan. B. Billy Joe Armstrong. C. Billy Idol. Or D. Dave Grohl. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. I was here for that episode. Sounds like Jesse's going with D. Mathis. What do you think?

I'm going to ride the tails of Jesse on this one. I'm going to ride into an easy, easy point. D. Dave Grohl. The answer is indeed D. Dave Grohl. Here's the quote from the BBC about Dave Grohl. And Jesse, if you wouldn't mind reading this for me for a second here. Here we go. What does this appear at?

Oh, OK. The rumor is that Andrew W.K. is known to elaborate joke forced upon the world by its nirvana-drawn fool fighter Dave Grohl. Gossip pounds wrecking Grohl pinned the W.K. anthems for laughing at Andrew the long-haired sex god to front them. I like they call him a long-haired sex god. That's hilarious. That's some editorial license right there.

That reporter was like. Frankly, I don't approve of this Andrew W.K., but I would shag him. If that writer's name was Tim, his editor would say, I don't think so, Tim. All right. Next question. Here we go. Who is the elusive and controversial figure who some people believe to be Andrew W.K.'s manager or collaborator and who some other people believe to be an alter ego for Andrew

W.K. himself? Is it A. Steve Mike? Is it B. Mike Steves? No. Is it C. Oscar Mike? Or is it D. Mike Martin? It's D. Damn it.

I hate that. This one's A. This one's A. Is it A? I don't know if it's A or B. Who's the elusive and controversial figure who some people believe to be an Andrew W.K.'s manager or collaborator and who some believe to be an alter ego for Andrew W.K. himself? A. Steve Mike.

B. Mike Steves. I hate that. I hate it. C. Oscar Mike. Yeah, Mike Steves feels like it's like D. Mike Martin. You know what? If you say A, I'll say B so we can cover it. That's fine.

I'll take A. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good too because that balances you guys back out for the last time. Okay, here we go. That's true. The answer is A. Steve Mike. Yeah. And it's spelled with...

The E's next to each other if that matters because E is the fifth letter of the alphabet, which is five. And then there's a 55 situation that breaks open a whole other part of this mystery. So I'm not even going to go down that road. But here's a quote from Andrew W.K. about Steve Mike from the Internet for Mathis to really post this on like a forum or something back in the day. Here you go. Oh, God.

All right. Please don't believe Steve Mike. I used to call myself Steve Mike a long time ago and it's nothing now. Someone is trying to confuse you and make me look bad, like a relationship gone bad. Someone is pretending to be me and this Steve Mike guy. I don't understand why people are close. I know you're reading this. Whoever you are will find you.

I've made the following decisions. I've now completely removed myself. The music is all that matters for all of us and that's what I am. I have the best feelings about all of it because I know what that it's right. We're stronger now more than ever and it's only because of one thing. We're still going long gone. Serely Andrew W.K. Andrew Whitekiller Whitekiller is like the name of some like J it's like some jail name of some like serial killer, dude.

So it was like a regional. It'd be like if you were from like wherever and you're like, I'm like Amityville Ryan. It was a regional nickname. It was a regional killer. If you were from there, you'd be like, oh, shit, I know what that means. Yeah, you want to be like, is this somehow raised? Don't worry about next question. This is a this is a this is an easy one.

I think I don't know. Actually, maybe if you don't know Andrew W.K. It's probably not easy. Which of these is not the title of an officially released Andrew W.K. record? Which of these is not not the title? Not a I get wet be the power never stops forming. See 55 Cadillac or D. God is partying. Oh, no.

Hey, I get wet be the power never stops forming. See 55 Cadillac and D. God is partying. Not none of these make sense. And that's why I think they could all possibly be one. I kind of feel like the Cadillac one is the one that sticks out as doesn't belong. Wait, what were they again? I get wet. I get wet.

The power never stops forming. Uh-huh. Fifty five Cadillac. God is partying. I all right. So I get what I know is the is is is an album. The rest I have no I have no clue. I have no clue what the other ones are.

Couldn't tell you. I get what I feel like is the one where we had when it's time to party. We I have I feel like that's the one. So that's why I know that. Other than that, not a clue. Couldn't tell you couldn't tell you what. OK, lock it in. Final answer.

Shoot shot in three because it just it just looks like you think it's his. Even though I just told you about it's five. Even though I just told you about Steve, Mike, what was the second one? I just feels weird. I get wet. The power never stops forming. Fifty five Cadillac. God is partying.

I'm going to say the second one. I don't ever say the second one because it's either the second or the fourth because fifty five Cadillac. I think Alex is right. The fifty five stands out. I'm going to say the second one. I have no idea. I have no idea what this is.

OK, so OK, you're going to be Jesse. What are you going to see? Fifty five, I'm going to stick with it. I'm going to stick with my gut and be wrong. The answer was B. The power never stops forming. I thought you were about to tell me was the God one. I'm more shocked than the other thing called God is partying all the time. Whatever that is, that's from that's from that's from covid.

That's who knows that everybody went a little crazy. Is this maybe he went insane. The power never stops forming was going to be Andrew W. K's like very anticipated third album. However, here is a here's a press. Here's a press release about it to read really quick. Never stops forming. Yeah, here's here's.

This was going to be a really good album, I think this is for Jesse to read. Andrew W. K is deep in the midst of recording the third full length album. The power never stops forming. The new songs are building to an even higher level of power and exaltation. Radiance, resplendence and written it. Richness with course throughout every moment of every flourish and grand scale. What the effulgence will surge with each thunderous collapse. Gorgeousness and grandeur of each sweat dripping, blood pumping,

head slamming moment of lustrous magnificence will fill our hearts with more strength than ever before. In other words, this is the pure majesty. This is pure. In other words, this is the pure majesty taken to the highest level of celebratory royalty. Binary is banal. There you go.

Or but no, but I'm pretty. I'm pretty right. Sounds like it would have been really good. That reads like one of my fanfics I wrote in high school and I was using thesaurus.com just to find words that weren't the same. Yeah, that's what it reads like. It's like the end of Pick of Destiny was like, they didn't want me to say this. Tenacious day.

Yeah, this is that speech 100 percent. However, that album was not released, and Andrew W.K. disappeared for a year and spent his time training to be a motivational speaker, even though he didn't try that out live for anyone for a year after that. And I think that's pretty weird. Next question. True or false, Andrew W.K.

once publicly admitted to not actually being himself. I didn't do that. It's true, true. That is correct. It's true. He said he was going to be emotional, motivational speaker. He eventually did go on tour doing that. Here's a quote from one of those. It goes like this, I want to confess something to all of you. I'm not actually Andrew W.K.

I'm not. I'm not the same guy that you may have seen from I Get Wet album. I'm not that same person. And I don't just mean that in a philosophical or conceptual way. It's not the same person at all. Do I look the same as that person? That's what he said. He went on to say more that kind of implied that maybe like we're all not the same person that we were at one point in time.

But, you know, it's it's obtuse. But that is it for the Andrew W.Quiz. That's round one. Wasn't that fun? Wasn't that fantastic? I feel like we did really well. Yeah. So who wins so far? You guys are about even, I'd say, I don't know.

But we'll all agree on it together at the end. Don't worry about it. Yeah, we'll just just track how everyone's doing. And all three of us together. Furious right now. You're struggling right now. It's OK. Honestly, decide who deserves to win.

All right, here we go. Next next round. This is good. This is this is one of my favorite subjects that we do on the show. And one often brought to us by Mathis, I would say, mostly. Though, in this case, I've kind of put my I've kind of got my own spin on this for something that I'd like to call super local cryptid or obscure American roller coaster. OK.

OK, yeah, yeah. So the point of this round is to determine whether the thing that I read you the name of is either a super local cryptid from somewhere that you probably haven't heard of or the name of an actual roller coaster operating in the United States at some point in the last. Amazing, amazing. That's a great idea. I love this. And then I'll reveal who got it right by telling you what it is.

OK, this was a very fun thing to make. I'm going to read the names without the does so it doesn't give any of them away. OK, I'm just going to read the straight name. No, those. OK, first one. Black demon. I'm going to roller coaster. Yeah, I say roller coaster to Black demon. Is a huge black megalodon or great white style shark said to be found

in the waters off the coast of Mexico's Baja California Peninsula. You were both wrong. It was a great did a black shark. That's Jesse's nightmare. It is. That's why I don't want to think about. But also Black demon roller coaster check. Not in the United States, trust me. Anybody out there who is an amusement park entrepreneur?

There is. California is a great adventure. There's one called the demon. Yeah, but not the black demon. Six flags, demon, six flags, demon. It is. However, it is painted black. So half points for Mathis and I, I think. OK, but I'm going to need you to close that web page. All right, here we go.

Next, next, next one. Here we go. Little Screamer. Also sounds like a roller coaster roller coaster. Roller coaster. I'm going with roller coaster. Little Screamer is a steel junior over roller coaster built at Stadia Fun Center in California, 995, got three out of five stars on UltimateGoingCoaster.com. I feel like Little Screamers, if they were a cryptid,

it'd be like cousins of the Melonheads. No, remember those guys that we like, is that your time out? The Jews that attacked those farmers? No, those were goblins. Those were goblins. Oh, my God, that's my favorite story we've ever done. We're like, the farmer's gunned them all down. They came out and shot them all to death, just loom away.

Little Screamers. Here we go. Big Bad John, Big Bad John. That's the name of a frickin song. So I'm going to go in. Big Bad John. I'm going to go in. I don't. I want to say that's like a roller coaster like Texas

that's based off the fucking stuff, like the story of Big Bad John thing. Yeah, but it's based off a story. I'm going to say Big Bad John is a thing. Yeah, this is what I'm going to go with, too, just because of the song. Yeah. Big Bad John. Is a steel mine train roller coaster built at Magic Springs in Crystal Falls in Arkansas in 1971, three out of five stars on UltimateGoingCoaster. Do you know a song I'm talking about?

I actually don't. I actually don't. Oh, my God. Oh, I heard that it's a song. I know that it's like some type of folk song or something like that. Like it's country. It's like country country. It's like it's like deep country. It's by Jimmy Dean.

1961. There you go. Throw it on the car radio after this podcast is over, folks. I'll link it to you, boys, so you can listen to it at some point. Thank you, sir. No. All right. Here we go. Next one. This is a lot of these. Next one is Lone Pine Mountain Devil. Yeah, I'm going to go.

That feels like too. And that's hard to market. That's a hard name to market. It feels like it's a little too long. So I'm going to go with Krypton. I'm going to go with roller coaster. Lone Pine Mountain Devil is a winged prehistoric style carn horse sided along the West Coast, North America,

since at least the 1880s, but possibly back into the ancient history of indigenous tribes from the region. I thought you'd be like found in Lone Pine. I know, right? That's Nebraska. I did. This was the funnest thing I've ever made in my life. I really had a great time with this. Up next, Zonga.

Zonga. Zonga. Like that sounds like a cryptid roller coaster, roller coaster. Zonga is a steel multi element roller coaster built at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom in California in 2003, not rated on UltimateRollerCoaster.com. That's like a that's like a three out of ten name roller coaster. Yeah, like it's like it's like it's like it means wind in an African language. I don't know which language it is, but it means what I said. It's not a dumb name. It's a beautiful language.

I'll see you on the forums. He was he was racist by accident. All right, that'll go right up there with the other one. Yeah, here we go. It's optimistic. Lackwood Screacher. I'm going to roller coaster. Lackwood sounds like a theme park.

I'm going to go with my gut. It said cryptid, and so I follow my gut. I'm heading down Lackwood, going around some coasters. Lackwood Screacher is a loud, shrieking monster reported to be out in the wilderness of Lackwood, Quebec, two words, Canada, known only by its ear piercing scream, which is said to be caused headaches, nosebleeds and vomiting. Which is said to be caused headaches, nosebleeds and vomiting in those who hear it. Nobody's ever seen this thing.

Nobody's ever seen that. That sounds like my anxiety in the morning. It's a big scary noise. Next, Sheikra. Sheikra roller coaster coaster roller coaster. Sheikra is a steel dive coaster built at Bush Gardens, Tampa and Florida in 2005. Three out of five stars. No joke. Three out of five stars.

Ready? Next one, Georgia Scorcher. That I'm going to go coaster coaster. Georgia Scorcher is a steel standup roller coaster built at Six Flags of Georgia and Georgia in 1999. Three out of five stars on UltimateRollerCoaster.com. Why do all these have three out of five stars? We can't please everyone is what I want. That's no real thing is a perfect roller coaster. That's the real Chilumanati mystery.

I am detecting some sort of some sort of like like a kuchy pie type situation with it. I don't know why. It's really weird. At Smith's, we know the minute a tomato is picked, the fresh timer starts. The sooner we get our produce to you, the fresher it is. That's why we've shortened the time from harvest to home for our tasty tomatoes, strawberries and salads. So no matter how you shop, you have more time with your fresh produce.

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Take delivery by 531-23. Jeep is a registered trademark. Here we go. Next one, T. Kettler. T. Kettler. That also sounds like a coaster. No, let's crypt it. Crypt it.

Don't let him fool you. T. Kettler. I'm in the, yeah, my logic right now is like, would he do three coasters in a row? Or would he not? I don't know. That's what it sounds like. I'm like, I'm gonna, I'm just,

I'm gonna, I'm gonna stick with my God again coaster. No way. Crypt it. T. Kettler is a small dog-like creature with more cat-like features, which makes a sound like a T. Kettle walks backwards and amidst steam from its mouth. In a sharp whistle that has been reported

by lumberjacks in Minnesota and Wisconsin. Literally sounds like a T whistle. Yeah. Yep. Wild. Yeah. Up next, Tiny Toot. Tiny Toot.

I wanted to be a coaster. Coaster. I don't want to crypt it because I just want it to be a crypt. It's so bad. This is a great game. This is my favorite game I've ever made. Tiny Toot is a steel junior overpowered roller coaster

built in Civilwood, Deepark, and Idaho in 1998. I know it makes sense, but I'm depressed about it. Three out of five stars. Three out of five stars. I'd call the Tiny Toot. Yeah. Tiny Toot would be like the sidekick of the Boston Bake Bean Boy.

Yeah. Right. Bean Boy is in Tiny Toot. Tiny Toot has a little tiny. Tiny Toot. Tiny Toot only vapes. Yeah. Oh, that's good.

I like that. He takes a little Tiny Toot. Yeah. Yeah. He's a tiny tutor. A little tiny tutor. He's a Stizzy. He's sponsored by Stizzy.

He's sponsored by Stizzy. I'm down with that. He's sponsored by Stizzy, Brad. And we could be too. All right. Here we go. Next one. Air rods.

Air rods. Cryptid. Cryptid. Air rods. Yeah. That's where my gut said cryptid too. Cryptid. So I'm going to go with gut.

What about like air rods? No. No. Cryptid. Air rods. My mind just gave me like alien ships and tic-tac shape in my brain. Air rods are small, rod shaped objects

photographed in the sky all over the planet by cell phones and cameras, but are never seen with the naked eye. It is believed to have connections with other dimensions, heavy vibrations, and unknown life forms living in the Earth's clouds. How about that?

Wow. Yes. Okay. Cloud aliens. Next one. Orange streak. That sounds like a cryptid to me too, but it also could very well be like a coaster.

That's a coaster. 100% coaster. Orange streak? Orange streak. It's just throwing me off. That's like orange streak. Is there a lot of roller coaster with the colors in their names?

Yes. Oh yeah. I'm not a big coaster guy, so I guess maybe I don't know. Oh, I love coasters. It's a coaster for sure. Okay. So coaster, cryptid,

Mathis, orange streak. I'm going cryptid. I'm going opposite. Let's go cryptid. Orange streak is a steel indoor freeform roller coaster built at Get Ready For It, Nickelodeon Universe in Minnesota in 1992. 3 out of 5 stars on UltimateRollerCoaster.com.

Another 3 out of 5. Yeah. Ready? Next one. Dew whopper. Cryptid. Man, I want to believe it's a cryptid, so I'm going to say it's a cryptid.

That's why I want it. Dew whopper. The Dew whopper is a steel wild mouse roller coaster built at Mori Surfside here in New Jersey in 2005. 3 out of 5 stars. 3 out of 5 stars. Man, just go to RollerCoaster names for some cool fantasy villain names or something.

You ready for this one? Mongolian Death Worm. I want to say that's a coaster. But isn't there also a Mongolian Death Worm, though? You know what? Mongolian Death Worm. 100% cryptid. Yeah, I'm going to go cryptid, too.

I feel like I've heard of this before. Mongolian Death Worm. Two to seven foot long carnivorous worm said to roam the sands of the Gobi Desert, shoot out lethally corrosive yellow saliva, and eat unsuspecting livestock and humans for breakfast. Okay. Only breakfast.

Yeah, just for breakfast. That's me taking some editorial license. I got to be honest. All right. Okay. Next one. Great Bear. I played Elden Ring.

It's a cryptid. Great Bear. I'm going to go with Coaster. Simple because it's a little too. I mean, we've heard boring cryptids before, but it just feels like a little too boring. Almost like it came up and it got came up within a boardroom somewhere.

I'm going to say this is also because I seem to recall there's like Big Bear, like, or like Big Bear. I guess got to be like the Great Bear. Big Bear is a real place. That's true in California. Big Bear. I don't know. This is this is a coaster, for sure.

So, so you're going coaster, both of you guys. Yeah. Great Bear is an inverted multi-element roller coaster, built at Hershey Park in Pennsylvania in 1998, three out of five stars on Ultimate Roller Coaster. Why is it three? Dude, what is happening right now? I don't know.

I'm bubbling up a second mystery. I got three mysteries running at once right now. Is it a roller coaster? Is it a cryptid? And is it a Kuchy's Key Lime Pie? All right. Next one. Here we go.

North Shore Monster. North Shore Monster. It sounds like just a cryptid, but it could be like a coaster. Coaster. I'm saying coaster. North Shore Monster sounds like a coaster. North Shore Monster.

On like the North Shore thing. I'm going to go coaster. I'm going to go coaster. North Shore Monster is a giant dolphin-like creature with crocodile teeth and features, and possibly the head of a horse found in the Great Salt Lake of Utah. Not where you expected, probably. Damn.

You're an antelope island. It's the one cryptid. Yeah. It's the Mormon Loch Ness Monster. It's known for its aggressive temperament and its loud booming call. How about that? Oh, so just Mormons when they're drunk.

That's never. All right, here we go. Swamp Fox. Scripted. Swamp Fox. I'm going cryptid. I'm going Swamp Fox coaster. If it's a coaster, I don't like the name.

Swamp Fox is a wooden figure eight roller coaster built at Family Kingdom Amusement Park in South Carolina in 1966. Yeah, that sounds like a good coaster. I'm off vibes. I'm off vibes on this game. 1966. I think I got in your head a little bit. Three out of five stars.

You got to like. You got to like. On UltimateRollicoster.com. Yeah, like a great example is you have to also think like you're a company. So that's what I'm trying to do. I'm not going to name something if I'm a company, the Mongolian death worm,

because that sounds like a little racist. So I'm not going to name my roller coaster that. But what if it was named in a racist time? Yeah, Black Demon scared me a little bit. I was like, I don't know, man. He said he's saying it sounds a little racist. Yeah, I said I thought it was a little racist. All right, next one.

Here we go. Ready? Rock Ness Monster. That's got to be a coaster. You know what? Come on. F that. Cryptid.

Rock Ness Monster. Rock Ness Monster. Cryptid. They can't. That listen, if they whoever created the Rock Ness Monster created if it's a cryptid deserves to be sued. They should be sued. It's going to be a new rock or something.

There's going to be like a like a lake and there's going to be a thing in there. They call it the Rock Ness Monster. I'm telling you, dude, it's a cryptid. Jesse says cryptid. Mathis says coaster. I'm going coaster. The Rock Ness Monster is a strange four foot long carcass

pulled out of the water near Hollingworth Lake in Rockdale or Rochedale, England. May I debate if it's a carcass? Is it really a cryptid? Yeah. That nobody could figure out whether it was a giant pike. Nobody thought it could have been a giant pike. Could have been a monster.

Could be others. Yeah. Went viral online in 2015. Rock Ness Monster is spelled with an H. I don't know if that probably doesn't help. No. All right. Here we go.

Ready? I am. La Vibora. La Yerona? La Vibora. What is Vibora? Coaster. La Vibora.

Jesse says coaster. Mathis says cryptid. La Vibora is a steel bobsled grow coaster built in Six Flags over Texas in Texas in 1987. Three out of five stars on UltimateRelicoster.com. All right. Ready?

Next one. Alpengeist. Alpengeist. This can go either way for me. Alpengeist. I'm going to say this is a coaster and the reasoning is insane, but I'm going to let you know. All right.

So geist, ghost, right? Yep. Yep. Alpen. I assume this is like the Alps. Something I thought of too this way. Well, here's the thing, but here's the thing. It's not the mountains.

It's the shape of roller coasters. Roller coaster. Oh, okay. It's a roller coaster ghost. It's like the Alps. Roller coaster. If you will. I also go encrypted not for that reason.

It just for me, I feel like that's so marketable. That's such a cool name. Wait, you're going coaster encrypted? Coaster. I think it's a coaster as well for a different reason. I just think it's like a very marketable name. You're going to lock it in roller coaster. Alpengeist is

a steel inverted terrain roller coaster. Yeah. The first Bush Gardens Williams in Virginia in 1997. Three out of five stars on ultimaterollercoaster.com. Can you believe it? Ready? Next one. I can't.

Yeah. Are you sure this isn't like the IGN of roller coaster review things? Like everything's a seven. Dude, I don't know. It's it's this is by this is by audience vote. Here we go. Cactus cat.

Cactus cat is cactus cat. Can you like a kitty roller coaster? No cactus cat is a cryptid cactus cat. It's a cat that's prickly. Watch it happen. Watch it happen. Jess is going coaster.

Maybe no, he's going cryptid. Cryptid. Oh, cryptid. Yeah. I am going to go. I'll go the opposite. I'm going to do this opposite. I'm going to go coaster.

You would you would you write on the cactus cat? I see it feels no, I don't think I would. But because to me it sounds like a kitty roller coaster in my imagination. I want the cactus cat to hand me like a soda. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Is that weird?

Yeah, yeah. All right. So you're going coaster. You're going cryptid. Yeah, I mean it's a cryptid. All right, here we go. Cactus cat is a bobcat like animal with many of the thorn like properties of a cactus and many of the cat like

properties of a cat reportedly located in the deserts of the South American South the American Southwest from California to New Mexico. He slashes on the cactus a lot and drinks the cactus sap and is not said to be very dangerous. Hilarious drawings of him on the Internet if you want to go look up the cactus cat, by the way. Last one.

This one's called Timberwock. Cryptid though it could be a wooden roller coaster. Timberwock. I'm going cryptid. Wooden roller coaster. 100 percent. 100 percent. I want to say Timberwock.

I'm going to stick with cryptid even though I can see it. I can see either one. I'm going cryptid. Timberwock is a wooden twister roller coaster built at Wild Waves in Enchanted Forest in Washington State in 2003. Three out of five stars on UltimateRollerCoaster.com and I'm going to tell you something crazy.

One of them was not rated by the way in this list. One of the roller coasters was not rated. I called it out. I said it wasn't rated. All the rest of them exactly five votes. There's like a reply all in the making there somewhere. I don't know. I don't know what it is.

I absolutely loved that round. Thank you for entertaining me for such a stupid thing. The next round is both shallow and deep, but also very simple and self-explanatory, which I like about it. This round is called true or false. So the answers are all just true or false. Ready?

OK. All right. Here we go. First one. True or false. In 1973, a dude died at Disneyland after hiding on Tom Sawyer Island after closing with his 10-year-old brother by drowning in the river

on the swim back to shore. True. Yep. I don't know. I've heard the story as well. True. True. The dude came all the way from New York.

His little brother lived though, so don't worry about the little kid. He's fine. He's fine. Little kid lived. Dumb guy. I died. All right.

Here we go. Next one. True or false. Aliens have visited Earth and the government is covering it up. It's true. False. It's absolutely true.

False. No. It's absolutely true. False. We are not. False. False. False.

False. False. So me humming triggered my Zoom to say playing music. That's very specific. It doesn't matter if you believe Aliens visit Earth. What matters is that if Aliens visit Earth, the government's covering it up. That's a long statement.

It's because the government signed a contract with the Greys to allow them to actually take our people up. That's not what he said. Well, no, because the government would have to cover it up to protect their contract. Eisenhower actually met with them. Like, you know, shook their hand. That's not true.

It's true. 100% true. I promise. I'm going to call that one a draw. Next one. Thank you. Next one. True or false.

Lake City quiet pills are actually a slang term for white and red heroin capsules used as currency by secret hitmen on a questionable website featuring pictures of extremely young looking girls. False. That's not real. True.

I believe. Just because it's on a website doesn't mean it's real. False. It didn't. The answer is false. But only the part about what Lake City quiet pills are. They're actually bullets and they're actually called Lake City quiet pills because there's a bullet factory

in a town called Lake City. I'll take whatever one I can get. The rest is up for debate and you can check out the video about it on Nexpo's channel on YouTube and he gave us a little shout out in the credits. What's up Nexpo? All right. Yeah.

That one was false. Next one. True or false. There is a life essence within human beings that carries on in the physical world after death. You talking about organ energy? I'm going to say true because no matter what we are energy feeds like insects and shit.

So even if you don't believe in a soul your essence feeds and continues on with life. Oh my God. I did not know that Gwyneth Paltrow was on this podcast. That is crazy. Well, what can I say? I love that. I love your animals.

Stick goop inside you. I'm going to go on your cruise, bro. Thank you. I mean sis. All right. So you guys both going true on this? I'm a child of earth. It's fine, whatever.

Yes. Okay. We're going to go with true then. All right. Next one. True or false? There is a popular theory that the sinking of the Titanic was actually part of an insurance scam

that spun out of an accident involving the Titanic's sister ship, The Gigantic. No, that's false. Yeah. The Gigantic is a lie. Yeah. But it's not the right name. Because it would be the Britannic.

You guys copy. You guys copy. The Titanic's sister ship is actually called the Olympic. Oh, the Olympic. Yeah. Well, the Britannic is another one. The theory says it collided with the HMS Hawk in 1911 and was heavily damaged.

So to recoup costs, they dressed it up as the Titanic last minute and sank it so they could get new ship money instead of broken ship money from the insurance company. Pretty wild theory, don't you think? Anyway, next one. True or false? Skinwalker Ranch is legit. True.

Actually, yeah. Super false. Super true. There's nothing legit about Skinwalker Ranch. The story about the window opening in the sky leading to the orange dimension. That was one of my favorite ones. Or the orange streak, if you will.

The orange streak, yeah, the orange streak, if you will. Or the giant wolf that like nudged them and then they emptied every bullet they had into it and didn't do anything. Was there a PS4 on the premises? Like, were they playing Bloodborne? Yes or no? You know, they might have been.

I think they may have been. So final answer, true or false? Skinwalker Ranch is legit. False. Yeah. False. True. All right, we're going to call that one a draw.

Next one. True or false? James Dean's car was a Porsche 550 Spider called Little Bastard. Think that sounds right. If it's something as minute as the wrong year, then you've got me, big man. But I don't know. I have no idea.

I'm going to go with true. It sounds. Math is going true, Jesse. James Dean's car was a Porsche 550 Spider called Little Bastard. I'm going to say true because that's what killed him. Yes. Yes. True is the correct answer.

And it was the source of many misfortunes besides James Dean's death. Here is a quote about the car from old Obi-Wan Kenobi himself, Alec Guinness, who saw the car in real life. And this one is for, I'm going to give it to, I think I gave it to Jesse the original time. I'm going to give it to Mathis this time. On the condition that you do an Obi-Wan Kenobi voice.

An Obi-Wan Kenobi voice? Yes. Nope. Just like to just kind of do a low, you know, his voice. Like a little low. Yeah. Oh, there we are. All right.

The sports car looks sinister to me. Exhausted, hungry, feeling a little, little tempered in spite of Dean's kindness. I heard myself saying in a voice I could hardly recognize as my own. Please never get in it. If you get in that car, you will be found dead in it by this time next week. Isn't that fucked up?

Yeah. All right. I had a premonition. Last one. The force. Here we go. True or false? Jesse is not pulling those dream interpretations out of his ass.

True or false? False, false, false, false. If you read the Reddit, totally different opinion over there. That's not true. I saw a Reddit thing the other day that was like, is Jesse even qualified to give these answers? No, I do not. Do not rely on me.

That's the whole point. I literally don't know what I'm talking about. And I'll call that one settled, and that is my fun round called True or False. Now, how are we feeling so far, first of all? Pretty good, pretty good. I feel like I'm ready to get a prize. Feeling good?

You feel like you're on a game show? You've been having a good time learning stuff, guessing things, seeing how old you are and what you remember. All right. All we have left is one more round, and then we have a final Jeopardy style final question. So here's a category I think you're both going to like very much. This next round is called Movie Trivia,

where all of the questions are about movies. Are you ready? I hate you. I hate you. Are you ready? Here we go. This is already a meme, my man. I don't need to be worse.

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Plus, every single Burrow order ships free right to your door. Right now, get 15% off your first order at burrow.com slash podcast. That's 15% off at burrow.com slash podcast. If you've ever had to deal with a plumbing problem, you may have felt the pain of realizing you don't know any plumbers. Whether you're trying to stop a leaky faucet, fix a running toilet, replace your old water softener, or install a tankless water heater, the plumbers at Any Hour Services can help.

All you have to do is call Any Hour Services or schedule an appointment at anyourservices.com. Help with plumbing maintenance and repairs is closer than you think. Call Any Hour Services or schedule an appointment at anyourservices.com. No one helps more homeowners than Any Hour Services. First question. What is the name of Channing Tatum's character in the 2015 sci-fi action film, Jupiter Ascending?

Oh, no. Of Channing Tatum's character in the 2015 sci-fi action film, Jupiter Ascending. I don't have that kind of name. Do you want to take a guess? No, because I have no name that's coming to my mind. You have to take a guess. You have to take a guess. I don't remember.

You have to take a guess. I don't remember. Lucius or some shit, I feel like. Lucius what? You're like in the zone of it. Just go for broke. Give us this name. I don't know what the last name would be.

Lucius Lucus Furrybottom. Lucus Furrybottom? Okay, Beth is going for Furrybottom. Jesse, what are you going? His name is Cain Something. Cain Wolf Cain Johnson. Cain Something. His name is Lucus Cain.

His name is Lucus Cain. That's like better. His name is Cain Wise. Yeah. And he is Cain Wise. Canonically, he is a genome-genered Lycantin super soldier with flying rollerblades. I hate that they named him Cain

because that's such a vampire type. That's like the origin of vampires. He has kind of vampire teeth. That's true. I love that you represent the vampire werewolf war even in the real world with. Yeah, I can't help it. It's like that.

It leaves a distaste in my mouth to say the name of a vampire and describe a werewolf. All right. Next question. What landmark was being represented in Roy's mashed potato tower in the 1977 Steven Spielberg film Close Encounters of the Third Kind? I just know it was like a mountain or a hill.

It was a mountain. But like, I've only seen the movie that one time. I don't know what the name of it was. No idea, Jesse. Throughout a guess. Man, you know what? I know it's not right because I want to say it's like the finger of God,

but I know that that's the twister. That's when he's like, what is the what is the category five tornado figure of God? I don't know. I don't know what this thing is called. I've never seen that movie. Jesse's going to go with the finger of God from Twister. Mathis, what's it going to be?

What's the name of that structure? The mashed potatoes. Abduct me mountain. Abduct me mountain. Not far off. It's called the Devil's Tower. And it's located near Moorcroft, Wyoming. Which in the movie was evacuated by the U.S. government

to make contact for the first time. Except for one guy, their one friend who made it in with some. What was his name? Like Stu or something? That should have been a question. Luke, no, it was like Luke or some shit. I should have been the question. Leave me behind.

I'm going to die. Leave me alone. No. What? Why? I'll be fine, dude. It's rad over here, dude. Don't worry.

All right. All right. Movies, movies. Next question. Movies. What is the nickname of the unknown woman seen to be holding a camera in various films of the John F. Kennedy assassination

who has never been identified or interviewed? The Smiling Woman. The Umbrella Man. What is the nickname of the unknown woman seen to be holding a camera in various films of the John F. Kennedy assassination but who has been never identified or interviewed? So you're going The Umbrella Man

and you're going The Smiling Woman? Yeah, sure. Okay. The answer is The Babushka Lady. She has kind of like a babushka style hair wrap overhead. You can see her at 37 seconds in the Zapruder film, 41 seconds in the Muchmore film, and at 47 seconds in the Bell film.

But her film would probably be the best of all if we could find it. Isn't that sad? So technically this was a JFK episode, if you think about it. And that is not going on the list. In 1982, in the 1982, made for TV movie Maze's and Monsters,

when Robbie runs away to New York City as part of his tabletop role-playing game-based delusions, where do his friends finally catch up to him? The Twin Towers. They went to the wrong Twin Tower first and still have time to go all the way down. A dramatic, yeah, dramatic. Will they stop it from jumping?

And it was just like gorilla shots of them in the stairwell constantly. Yeah, so he's on the roof. And he was going to throw himself off the top and cast a spell to join the Great Hall with his character's dead brother. But then his friends stop him and save the day. But unfortunately, Robbie never recovers

from Maze's and Monsters, and he's still IG to this day somewhere. I love that ending where they like... On a fancy estate, he's just IG somewhere in the woods on his mother's acres, running through the trees, searching for treasure. And that is Movie Trivia. That's a good one. I like that one.

Thank God. Thank you for keeping it within my wheelhouse. I appreciate it. All four movies I've seen. Yeah, I got all the questions right, too. And that's Movie Trivia. Now, here's the final round. It's critical thinking and deductive reasoning tag team question. So there's going to need to be some discussion on this one.

I'm calling this segment SCP or CIA. I'm going to give you a sizable... Is there a difference? I'm going to give you a sizable quote. A sizable quote to read. And then I want you guys to go over it, discuss it, and decide whether you think it's a piece of fiction

from the SCP Metafiction Project, or an actual piece of declassified intelligence from the archives of the Central Intelligence Agency. Oh, no. All right. I should have at least... Oh, man, I've read a lot of the CIA stuff, but not all of it. There's no way you could read all of it.

It's a... Yeah, it's just too obviously. It's like, it's so boring. There's no way to read all of SCP either, unless you've just been reading everything that came out every day since it started. Can somebody put an SCP of Bean Boy up there? Thank you.

Thank you. Please do. And it has to have tiny tooth. All right. Do not... Yeah, tiny tooth has to be there. Do not say that it's called Bean Boy. Create this long SCP about a very tiny creature

that's from Boston and bean size, but do not say it's the Boston Big Bean Boy. Like, really go all in, but do not give it away. I'm going to break this into two quotes. So maybe Jesse read the first one, and then Mathis read the second half of the quote. So here's the first half of the quote right here.

I have written, it is now 8 p.m. Central Standard Time, and I am standing in my special concentration room in the little house where an ingo swan... Say how you say his name? I don't know. I would imagine so. I thought that it had like a...

Like indigo. I thought it was indigo swan, whatever. I guess I'm wrong. Yeah. I don't know. Stayed when he visited us some weeks ago. As I prepared to direct my consciousness to the attempted probe of Jupiter,

its occurrences and conditions have a relative there too. I immediately and asociately sucked into total contact with a speeding space module Pioneer 10, and I can clearly see that it is at present traveling at a... Can I just say, by the way, do I have to finish this? It's CIA. 100%.

Yeah, I was gonna say, I know this is CIA. This is CIA. Yeah, this is... Keep going. I know this. Keep going. All right. Presently traveling on a definite collision course

with one of the largest Jupiter moons, and unless the course is ultimately altered, it will most certainly crash into it and this investigative journey. Now I am carried ahead of it, and I'm approaching the Jupiter moon itself. Okay, now here's the second half of the quote for Mathis to read.

Okay. It seems larger than Earth. Great, shiny revolving ball surrounded by gigantic swirl of gases giving off a golden glow in crystal-like diamond sparkles and unbelievable inner sight. I am still some distance from Jupiter, which I can see to the right of this moon far, far away.

A million, I can't tell, perhaps more. Anyway, a great many miles distance, and with almost eye-blinding brilliance that is radiating, I'm sure that physical eyesight could not stand what I am perceiving inwardly. I am to be a speck, a particle, somehow free of the gravitational pull which is affecting everything around me.

Okay. CIA. CIA, for sure. CIA. You think that this is in the CIA? Yes. They have records of people going and projecting themselves onto Mars, so yes.

If anything, this is far too insane to be SCP. You think it's, I think that the second half of this is quite beautiful, actually. Yeah, but it's too cuckoo bananas to be SCP. SCP is well-thought-out fiction. This is like, and there I was, a particle in space. That's it. No, that's not SCP.

This is just reader stories from Chilluminati Pod on Reddit. Nothing will beat the math story. That's the best thing ever written. And that's the best thing ever written. That's the wildest thing because it's math. You're as math, right? And math is math as. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Math is math is. You're like math as a person. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you get it. And when I did the math, she deserved a dollar, apparently.

Yeah. Now, let's decide where we're at. Before I announce the answer to this tag team question, between the two of you, who won the game? Wait, what? This is a tag team answer. Between the two of us, I did. You think you won?

Yeah, between the two of us, I won. You absolutely dominated in the cryptid section. Between the two of us, I won. Because I have no doubt. Yeah, okay. I have no doubt. So you believe that if you guys did tally up that you. I feel like I had better performance in the true or false segment.

I'll take you out for ice cream afterwards. Fine. Really? You'll do that? Yeah. Winners always do that. Can we go to the alcoholic ice cream place? Oh my God.

Is there a place like that? There totally is. Yeah, we went to one when we were at a convention together, Jesse. You and I went to one, like, right up the street from your place, actually. I don't know if it's still there, but I definitely had a gin milkshake with some kind of, I don't know. Who's place?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's the memory. Gary, we unlocked it. It was green. It made me throw up. It was good, though.

It was good. It was delicious. You know what? I'm going to put Alex in the awkward position. I'm going to say I won. You're going to say you won and Jesse's going to say he won. I'm going to say Jesse won. All right.

God damn it. It's like the Reddit post that someone made. Are you an Alex or Jesse or a Matheson? I'm like, there's like three people for me and like, you guys are pretty even. I think I think I'm a Mathes if I'm being real, but that's my struggle in my real life. I am a Jesse.

Yeah. Yeah. We know, we know. I think that because you left it up to chance is why I chose Jesse. Sure. All right. Because he said he won first. So I just said, you know what?

I'm the impartial judge, so I went for it. Yeah. Confidence. The answer was it was indeed real, declassified CIA documents. That was from an actual document that was called the Sherman Swan psychic probe of the planet Jupiter. No idea why that's in the archives. I don't think they conducted this study.

I'm not. I don't believe so. I think it's just apocrypha, but this is mostly just me directing you towards the declassified CIA archives because wow, wow, wow, that's a weird place. There's there's some they've done some weird shit. Yeah. Uh, so anyway, that was the chilluminati super low stakes game show hour.

And Jesse, for winning, I'm going to send you a piece of chocolate cake to your house right now, right this second. I'm sending you a piece of chocolate cake. For real? For real. I'm hungry. I'm not at my, I'm at the office though. I don't care.

It's going straight to your front door. I'm sending it to your house right this minute. That doesn't help me. Is there like a cake delivery service that you know? I'm in LA, you know, we got DoorDash here. That's true. I'm just going to send him a piece of cake. But I won't get it.

That's. Unfortunately, my house and unfortunately the network won't let me just change the rules up at any time. I have to send it. Well, tell them to leave it outside at least. I'll tell them to leave it. I mean, all right. If it's not there, I'll be really disappointed though.

Yeah, but I'll send you. I'll send you a I'll send you a big piece of chocolate moist chocolate cake. Is that like a thing? Is this going to be like moist chocolate cake stands for drugs? No, I'm going to send you. I'm just going to send you a piece of chocolate cake. I don't think you will. We should make this annual.

An annual game. I don't think you're going to send me any kind of cake. I'm going to send you a piece of chocolate cake right after this. I don't believe it at all. I don't believe it at all. You still live in the same place? I mean, maybe. I do move frequently.

Maybe. I don't know. DM me your address. No nuts. Nuts. That's too hard. That's too hard. That's too hard.

Why do you mean it's too hard? You should know. You should know where I know your address. I just I have your address. I don't want to send it to like your parents. I'm really disappointed with you. I'm going to send it. I'm going to send it to you.

Friendship over. I'm going to send you a piece of cake. I don't think you will. I'm really going to send you a piece of cake, folks. It's it's 9 30 p.m. And I'm still going to send him a piece of cake right this minute. Wild, which that means it's 11 for me. Yeah, baby.

Yeah, no one. No one would deliver me chocolate cake at 11 o'clock or 11 30. No, I'm going to send you a piece of chocolate cake tomorrow, Mathis. Oh, hell, yeah, it's not going to happen. I can't I looked in Texas and I can't I can't locate a restaurant near you that will serve you an acceptable piece of chocolate cake. So I will send you a piece tomorrow in the daytime when I can, in fact, send you one. So that was the game show.

What did you guys think? That was a great game show. I love that. That was a great time. Yeah. So there you go. And next week, I got another episode about something that happened one time that was really interesting, and we're going to have a guest for it.

And I'm not going to tell you the guest is because it's more exciting that way, right? Right. And then, well, I guess I don't spoil it either, but we'll have another guest pretty soon after that as well. Yeah, we're just we're just trying out the guest situation. It was a new year's resolutions coming guest every once in a while. You know what I'm saying? Not a big deal.

Yeah, it'll be fun. Any of us guess green, a little green? I don't know. But maybe sometime. Sometime. Maybe eventually. All right. OK.

You know, there's some sort of plan and action. I trust you. I mean, thank you today. Thank you so much for joining me for this Alex episode. Guy Den. Side. You want me to call it? Side story episode.

Yeah. I appreciate that. Well, we're off to go do a mini soda over for patreon.com slash Luminati pod. Hey, if you're not supporting us over there and you'd like to, please jump over. There's a bunch of cool rewards. And we're almost at eleven point five K for our next like mini goal. So we can get over that before the month ends. That'd be awesome.

And you get a bunch of stuff, including like 30 exclusive minisodes that are that are still not released to the public. That's so many, dude. That's so freaking many, bro. And we're about to have a fourth. Our fourth movie track is going up soon, too. That'll be a lot of fun. And we're going to watch a real hilarious movie, too.

Yeah, I'm excited to see it. I'm really excited. But yeah, we're off for the mini soda of our patreon.com. Thank you guys so much for listening. We'll see you next week. Go see us in Austin. Bye. Say good night.

May 26th. Chill. Night. By 26th. Yeah. Live show May 26th. Chill. Night.

By. Dot. Com. Go. Anyway, me and my wife were sitting outside indulging on our porch one night enjoying ourselves. I needed to go to the bathroom. So I stepped back inside. And after a few moments, I hear my wife go, holy shit, get out here.

So I quickly dash back outside. She's looking up at the sky in the fall. I look up too. And there's a perfect line of dozen lights traveling across the sky. It is so easy to get stuck doing the same thing day after day. What you need in your life is adventure. At Motorsportsland, we've been helping people just like you experience outdoor adventures for over 55 years. Whether it's with a travel trailer, fifth wheel or motorhome, you can bring the convenience and comfort of home up to a breathtaking mountainside next to your favorite lake or across the country.

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