Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 163 - The Return of YOUR True Stories

Episode Date: July 30, 2022

Smedley Butler was fun, but you guys are on another level. Patreon - http://www.patreon.com/chilluminatipod BUY OUR MERCH - http://www.theyetee.com/collections/chilluminati Special thanks to our sponsors this episode BeautyCounter - Promo Code: Chill Butcherbox - http://www.butcherbox.com/chill Promo Code: chill SOURCES: You Fools Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - http://www.youtube.com/user/superbeardbros Editor - DeanCutty http://www.twitter.com/deancutty Art Commissioned by - http://www.mollyheadycarroll.com Theme - Matt Proft End song - POWER FAILURE - https://soundcloud.com/powerfailure Video - http://www.twitter.com/digitalmuppet

I'll bet your dreams have never ventured here. Replace slot machines and crowds with slot canyons and small-town charm. Trade neon city lights and showtimes for starlit skies and the best earth on show, epic red rock cliffs, unreal wildlife, and unbelievable coral pink dunes. Because when you vacation in Cannab, you'll hit the jackpot every time. Take your next adventure at VisitSouthernUtah.com. Hello everybody and welcome back to the Chilluminati Podcast, episode 163, as always, I am one of your hosts.

Joined by the... I'm gonna go with today of my list, the Will Ferrell and John C. Riley. You have a list? Yeah, I got a list, because I can't think of them often. And on that list is Will Ferrell and John C. Riley. You were shaking big. They are. Alright, yeah, yeah, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on now. Who's who though? Uh, you know what? I'll be real. Alex is John C. Riley, because he has the chops to do both dramatic and comedy. Me, not so much. I yell at kids for videos online.

That's what you do, you yell at children for videos online. Yeah, it's Anas Landlord as a six-year-old girl. Yeah, me and Pearl, we get in fights online. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, welcome to episode 163. After a few weeks of some crazy topics, JFK, Smedley Butler, and before we move into some more missing 411 and the next big serial killer topic.

And Green Stone, time out, are we... Alex. What? Alex, the entire fan base, the audience at large, is losing their collective minds at you. And I am with them. About what? The Green Stone.

The Green Stone? Shut your damn mouth. You shut up. Are you talking about the Red Stone? Is the Red Stone something you can get as a reward on Patreon? Mathis, you know what? Don't do it. Don't do this.

You know, I fell under the trap and my foot's already stuck and I'm warning you off. Get away. Speaking of falling into traps, head on over to patreon.com where you can fall into a trap of good savings on things that you like as a bonus. I don't know about that, but okay. Here's the thing.

It's a bonus for supporting this fine show. And in return, you get all kinds of stuff. You get art. You get ad-free episodes. If you don't want to listen to any ads except for this one, you get access to our new show, Rotten Popcorn, which is all about talking over movies. And weird movies.

It all comes at the time. Yeah. And it keeps us afloat. It keeps the boat afloat. Why don't we watch a good movie? What are you talking about? We have seen... My favorite movie we've watched so far, I think, was Maze and Monsters.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Maze and Monsters is probably my favorite one. That UFO one made me feel feelings. Yeah, but that was something to do with UFOs. That was some guy's journey to find himself. No. The UFO one was too good because we were all so quiet and taping by this man's tail.

Aw. Yeah, that was not good to shit on. That was about a dude who was alone who just wanted to have family and friends. But how did he find him? You tell me what the aliens had to do with it. They brought them all together. Step Monster is next.

We're going to be watching that maybe in the next couple of days here. Step Monster. Oh, my God. And it's going to be really great. I'm going to relive my childhood about aliens. I can't wait. I cannot wait. We'll bring it back on track to good movies.

I can wait. And that's all I care about. I can wait. We'll see you there. Patreon.com. Slash. Chillin' with Naughty Pod. The website.

I like it. That's going to stick. It's shorter. It's going to stick a lot quicker. The website. You know. You know. Short attention spans at these zoomers these days.

It is a website. Yeah, you're not wrong. You're not lying that it is indeed a website. Boys, it has been since April since we've done any reader or listener stories. Are you kidding me? How is that possible? We keep wanting to do them more often because there's so many

good stories, but we just get, we have so many big series that kind of fill out. That seems like a lie. April. April is when, because the last one is we learned about the guy who had that encounter with that weird skin walker. Jeff Kay was super long, dude. I was about to say it was Alex's JFK stuff so long that it

started in April. Is that what I'm learning? I've only done three or four episodes. I've only done three or four episodes. JFK was right after that, actually. I've only done three or four episodes this year. I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah.

So encounter with that. Yes. The last one we did was encounter with the skin walker. Then we did the Bermuda Triangle, followed by the conspiracy paranormal game show that Alex did for us. Yes. Then we did the guest episode with Pat the NES punk. Then we did all four Kentucky cannibals plus the bonus episode

with Crandor inside it. I keep forgetting the fact that when you guys do episodes, they're like 18 pot series. I keep forgetting. Yeah. And so in my mind, we deep dive, baby. It becomes one long story. And I'm like, oh, that was a fun episode.

It's as deep as the rabbit hole itself. Yeah. Then we had the Crandor episode. Then we had the JFK series. So yeah. And we haven't had a listener story since April, man. And so we got some good ones to read through. Obviously on the minisodes, there's a couple that we once in a while

will read one, especially on minisode 100, which is 100 minutes long. There's some video footage to go along with it. I over planned. I had like three more segments. It ended up weird because it ended up weird because I didn't get to everything. What was the feedback?

Were people as mad as I was? I was a part of it. No. People loved it. People loved it. And I really think some of their favorite parts wasn't when it started to dawn on you and I that this wasn't a bit and it was actually going to be 100 minutes.

Ah, the part that I hated. Right. I was hoping that you wouldn't be sure the whole time how long it was going to be. Man, once it passed like 40 minutes, I was like, ah. 120 minutes. And I was like, that's not 100 minutes or whatever. It was like an hour 20 or whatever.

Oh, yeah. We were an hour and a half in. We're like, done. I was like, ah, ah, there's 10 more minutes after that. But we never got our reward. Just want to put that out. It's coming. It's coming.

I'm just going to put that out. Where's my Kuchis Gilaun Pie? patreon.com. It's a very special award. So, you know, what was I called? Kuchis? Kuchis? Kuchis.

Kuchis. Kuchis. Kuchis. Kuchis. K-U-T-C-H-I-E-S. From what I hear, it's a very good pie. Possibly also secret society stuff. Yeah.

Are we going to get killed? Is Alex threatened to kill us? It's a delicious pie. That's the ARG of all the Alex episodes is bit by bit. He's laying out his plot to murder us and take the show. That's the funniest thing about this is that people are like, I can't wait to see how this all comes together. I don't think it's going to come together at all.

I'm so worried. I'm so worried. It's going to be episode 306 and I'm still, it's going to be like that damn Marvel man who came out of the ocean. I'm still going to be obsessed with it. Like, why is no one talking about this? You got to let that particular thing go.

I can't let it go. It's going to be like the rise of Skywalker. What if it's the most chronologically recent movie? And it's, we just don't know that. Then I would be totally fine. If they retcon stuff and made it that way, fine. But the current timeline is there are two movies, at least two movies after that.

What about like Fantastic Four is going on? And then all of a sudden like during Fantastic Four, like a celestial emerges from the other side of the planet. That wouldn't make any sense because there'd be two celestials. Were they twins? Never mind. I'm back in. I'm back in.

I'm back in. Yeah. We've got reader stories everybody today. These are super fun. You guys have, there's so many on their subreddit. Obviously we couldn't get through all of them, especially since it's been months since we've done them. So if you want to drop a story,

please drop it on the subreddit or if you're on the discord, drop it. There's a special place in the discord. You can drop it as well. If you redrop it, delete the old one. Right. Exactly. There you go.

Give us just one spot where we can collect them. But I'll have Alex start us off here instead of me this time with the very first story. All right. This one's called peeping terror. And it's from Duke Sprinkles. One word. Duke Sprinkles.

Like Long Island. Long Island. To Sprinkles. It's always awkward trying to think of an introduction to these sorts of things. The attached image should be revealed at the end of the story as it is a spoiler and requires some context. After the story, go on to Reddit.

His story is there. Look up Duke Sprinkles and you can check out the image yourself. Incredible. Can't wait to do that. Hello. I hope life is showing you kindness. And if that isn't the case, you're at least showing kindness to yourself.

Good news. I am. I thought about sharing this bizarre story for a while and finally have the time to write it down. I give permission for it to be shared in the podcast. And for those reading this on the Reddit, I hope it at least entertains. I bet it will.

Thank you for such a pleasant introduction. I'm doing rather well. I hope you're doing well too, Duke Sprinkles. No, not me. I hope the story is good and you're not trying to butter us up. For the longest time, I've hated looking out of windows in the dead of night. The first sign of the interior of the house being brighter than the

outside world. I typically find myself drawing the curtains shut. If there are no curtains, anxiousness and weariness, wash over me. And I want nothing more than to quickly avert my gaze and get clear of the windows to a place free from the light of the moon or the street lamps outside. Hell, the entire reason I've remembered this story that I promise

I'm going to get into eventually is because of this very podcast and a window with open blinds. I used to work third shift security and was listening to the very first episode released on February 3rd of 2018. Don't say that. Thank you for the reminder. Is that true? Yes, man.

Every time you get reminded, I feel like you're just like, wait, what time is it? My hands. I'm telling you, COVID destroyed my concept of time. Yeah. It really fucked up. The first two years we were releasing bi-weekly at best, sometimes just one a month.

So we weren't like super putting out content in the first year or two. Can I ask a question for the Reddit? Just real quick before you continue, Alex. Sure. Have we gotten better or worse at podcasting since? Be honest. So much better.

Be honest. Someone should create a comprehensive topic. Just like, are they better or worse on Reddit? And then everyone just fill in yes or no. Maybe make it a poll and give you a reason. Like they are better because I think Mathis tells good stories or they are worse because Alex won't tell anyone about the Greenstone.

Whatever you want to say. What are you talking about? Whatever you want to say, I'd love to hear. I think we've been downhill since Tommy Patera. I think we've never quite reached that height. That was it. That was the glory day. That was it.

Those were our glory days. Episode 9, 10, 11. We can never, ever meet. It was nearing 2.30 AM and I was sitting in a pitch black break room. The darkness was kinder on my exhausted eyes and I was staring out of the window into the sparse, nearly empty parking lot.

It had been snowing for quite a while and thick flakes were still falling. I felt that uneasiness spike within me as it always did when I was looking out an open window at night. When someone walked by the window and looked into it briefly before continuing on their way. Nope. No, thank you.

I didn't want a stranger just peering into my window like, Hey, what up? I hate that. It was just the snow plow crew coming through to clear away the snow and to salt the sidewalks and parking lot. But it triggered in me a memory from my childhood that is the very reason I cannot stand looking out windows at night. Peeping Tom's.

I tried to do some research into the number of peeping Tom. Oh, wow. I tried to do some research into the number of peeping Tom slash voyeurism cases. Peeping Tom. Peeping Tom. Peeping Tom. Peeping Tom.

Every time that you buy a pair of peeping Tom's, somebody gets to drink peeping. I was going to say can peeping Tom be like a B grade villain for Boston big bean boy? So somebody gets a fresh glass of filtered peeping. I tried to do some research into the number of peeping Tom slash voyeurism cases in America in a year. While I couldn't come up with any numbers,

I did find a document online talking about voyeurism laws. Did you know that there are only 12 states that have laws specifically outlawing voyeurism? That's way too little, I feel like. That's how George McFly got away for so long. There are four that's a back to the future joke, man. Don't worry. I've seen the first one.

I've seen the first one. Fair enough. Fair enough. There are four states with statutes that put voyeurism under invitation of privacy laws. In nine states, a voyeur may be charged with eavesdropping and in Arkansas, you're considered a loiterer. Needless to say, I don't often think people really think

about voyeurism unless they've been affected by it or are perverts who are into that sort of thing. Not like the laws would do me much good anyway as my peeping Tom wasn't human. Whoa, the twist. The twist. What? My peeping Tom and the source of my, yeah.

I just want to say I love this. I doubted you at first, but I love this story so far. This is great because it's like voyeurism, not everyone thinks about it, but it doesn't matter because it wasn't a human. This is good. This is real good. My peeping Tom and the source of my anxiousness

all happened when I was only three years old, over 30 years ago, holy fuck. Yeah, we are with you on that. I lived in a house on the corner of where the main street of the village and a heavily used side road intersected. My room at the time, which I shared with my older sister, jeez, I don't know why I'm so yawning, was in the furthest most corner close to the intersection.

Now this and the layout I'm about to get into is important for a few reasons. We had a large wraparound porch that you had to come onto if you wanted to actually get into our house. On either side of the wraparound porch were doors that led into the house itself. One into a hallway, which immediately had a staircase leading to the second floor, and beyond that

at the end of the hallway, a door that led into our dining room. The visuals of this house, it just seems like you have a beautiful house. Seems like it was a gorgeous house. Seems like a very video game house. On the opposite side of the porch was a door which led directly into the living room.

Our room on the corner was attached to the living room. If you stepped out into the living room immediately to the right and separated by an interior load bearing wall was the dining room. Imagine the next episode features you. Venture hand-in-hand through scenic red rock landscapes and discover breathtaking exploration. In Kanab, Utah, fall in love with small-town charm

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Go to VisitSouthernUtah.com to start your adventure. Across from our bedroom was my mom and dad's room which when I was a child was a safe haven for me if I ever got scared and needed to rush into it for protection. Perhaps except for the time I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom on Easter Sunday only to see my father and his tidy whities tiptoeing out

of the darkness with two Easter baskets held in his hands. What a great way. Have I told you about the time that I choked on a pickle and had my dad have to give me the naked Heimlich? No, he was naked? Yeah, I told the story on streams before. Can we divert and you want me to just tell that story real quick? I think you might have already just done it.

It was late at night. Why is it every time there's a story? It's always like math has got up with some weird ass shit and then freely offers that information. You said, yeah, I naked Heimlich while I sucked on a pickle and then you're like, but let me explain to you. To be fair, I didn't see that he was naked. I learned he was naked afterward.

You don't have to do this. You don't have to do this. Dude, I'm an internet entertainer for over a decade. You have shame still. That still that surprises me. No, I don't have shame. I'm just trying to prevent you from being the guy who's like, well, he tried to sell soul to the devil and he doesn't make it.

You're going to be like, you're about to create the next satanic panic. You alone. You're Rusty Ventures who you are. I don't know who that is. That's OK. Someone out there does and it's hitting. It's hitting. The story is easy, man.

I was like 20, 21, probably living in my mom's basement. My parents' basement. I was playing World of Warcraft and I was in a raid and I was eating on one plate chocolate pie and on the other I had a pickle and I went back and forth. I'd take a bite of the chocolate pie and then I take a bite of the pickle because the sweet and the salty balanced it really well. Unfortunately, something was happening on Wow. So I took a bite of the pickle and instead of chewing,

I like without thinking swallowed it. And lo and behold, it got lodged in my throat. I started choking. I started making my way up the stairs, trying not to panic. My vision was getting blurred. I just remember banging on my parents' door before throwing it open. And I kind of did the hand motion. And all I know is my dad got up, got behind me and Heimlich me a couple of times

and the pickle went down and I was like, and then he quickly wrapped the towel, his blanket around himself because I had no idea. I didn't see. I didn't see anything other than like his face. And then the pickle went down and I lived. Thank God. That skipped the part where I tried to drink some water

and it just made me like clogged what little hole was there. Oh my God. Yeah. Horrifying and like sobering moment. That must have been. I was. Yeah. Well, I'd make sure to chew my.

Your rage group was like, where the fuck is he? Where did he go? There better be a great excuse. No, they were. It was just like, what the fuck are you doing? I was having a raid moment. I went back downstairs and I was dead and I had to restart. I'm going to backtrack just a little bit.

Perhaps except for the time I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom on Easter Sunday, only to see my father, just like Mathis's father and his tidy whiteies tiptoeing out of the darkness with two Easter baskets held in his hands. When he saw me, he looked me in the eyes and said, uh, the Easter Bunny isn't real. I just nodded and went on my way to the bathroom because what are you supposed to do at that point?

As for the last details for setting up the necessary layout of the story, my bedroom had a large picture window. It was six feet tall and about seven feet wide with the top of the window being eight feet from the floor. This window looked out onto the porch, which looked out onto the corner of the street. It was also where my peeping Tom would come to visit me every night for two months or so.

It always happened the same way. I was in bed and would slowly open my eyes and look over to that large window, a curtain that didn't quite reach the top of the window was drawn closed, pale white and faintly see through. I could see the stars peeking out just above the top of the curtain rod when I would hear the sound of footsteps slowly making their way up onto the porch. The sensor light would flicker to life just out of view.

Eventually, the footsteps would stop outside of the window. I couldn't see any shape through the thin white curtain. I would see fingertips press against the glass just above the curtain rod, slowly turning inward toward one another. The hands were making a cupping motion to block out the motion sensor lighting. The two quick streaks of fog ran across the glass before a bone white, pale forehead would press itself between its hands

against the window. I mostly remember the eyes. They were hollow pits of darkness, but I could tell there was something inside of them that was looking for movement, perhaps looking for me. Of course, I would inevitably move because I was three and that was fucking horrifying. As soon as I got up to get the fuck out of there, it would

turn its attention to me, pale lips splitting into a smile. The room then shakes and a loud cacophony of sound plays. I can feel the deep notes in my chest. The pale figure then moves toward the door leading to the hallway. I knew it was coming for me. I had to get to my parents' room where it was safe and I had to be quick. I always knew the delivery room door was locked.

It wouldn't be able to get in through that way. It would take its time to go through the hallway to get into the dining room, but it wouldn't be long. So I hop out of bed, rush to the door, which I throw wide open and start to run the short distance from my bedroom to my parents' room. My feet, in my panicked and sleepy uncoordination, get tangled and I fall hard onto my stomach.

I look up to my immediate right and in the darkness of the dining room, the peeping Tom stands. Massive, tall, imposing, it lunges for me, slamming me onto my back and wraps its long fingers around my throat. I'm starting to choke and I can't breathe. I wake up in the bed, in the middle of the night, out of breath and sweaty. It was a nightmare.

Perhaps it was sleep paralysis. The dream would continue that way for two months. Sometimes I would get into my parents' bedroom and they would be upset that I dove right in between them, landing on their legs or stomachs. Other nights I would trip or I wouldn't be fast enough and the peeping Tom would once again pin me down and start to choke the life out of me.

If I made it to my parents' room, I would sleep in there until the morning. If I didn't make it, I would wake up in the bed, in the middle of the night, sometimes facing in opposite directions as if unceremoniously tossed back onto it. As horrifying as all this was for me at the time, I do know the source of my nightmare. My family owned a Nintendo and with it, they owned the game

Gyrus. I don't know that game actually. If you look it up, you'll recognize it. It was released by Konami as an arcade game in 1983 and released by Konami's subsidiary, Ultra Games, in 1989. In the intro for this game, the attached screenshot appears of a large, menacingly jowled grandpa smirking over Earth while a spaceship laser blasts at him.

The loud cacophonous music I heard, it's Tokada and Fugue in D Minor, which is played at the very beginning of the Gyrus theme song. Two months of nightmares and three decades of disdain for Windows Without Curtains thanks to an overactive imagination. If you made it this far, thanks for reading. While I'm headed off, I'll leave you with the story of

my Easter Bunny ruining father told me after I had mentioned my woe of voyeurism nightmares. When he was a child, he too looked out of his window, only to see a pair of menacing eyes staring at him. He called to my grandpa who rushed outside, causing the man to stop trying to open my father's window and flee into the night. And I believe that this is the picture of the box from

Gyrus. I don't know why the link ends before it gets all the text in there. Yeah, it just looks like an evil NES elf man, old man says mankind must rid the universe of evil. It's a death defying risk and only a hero can stop space elves. I'm getting a 403 on it.

Oh, weird. Will you link me that link in the chat so I can take a look at it? Sure. Yeah, he looks like, oh, who is that actor? Oh my goodness, that would be... Ed Asner is kind of who he looks like. Oh my God.

Oh, there you go. Yep. He looks like an elven Ed Asner. Yes. The Ed Asner of LA. Yeah. So the story is interesting to me. Obviously, you know, the sleep paralysis part is

interesting, but also from the wooey, you know, psychical angle of aliens on my part, you know, that theory of just like maybe they're latching onto our consciousness to like help themselves move in between, you know, their dimension and ours. If you believe they're interdimensional. Yeah. If they were using her as their anchor and she was

familiar with the game, she's only three years old. Maybe this is just the easiest form. Whatever these things could take because the low rumbles in like the noises are very common in alien encounter and alien abduction scenarios, especially when there's a ship, but there's no ship in this story. It's just a figure that seems to move into the house

in like a creepy way. So, you know, if you, like from my, my weird side of seeing things, I can kind of see how this would tie into some sort of alien like thing. But on the other end, you were also three. You believe, you know, you woke up in bed a few times. It's interesting.

I don't know. I don't remember that Jairus cutscene. I've, I've only, I never played Jairus. I remember the game. I know what the game looks like, which is like kind of just like a spaceship. It's a Schmup kind of. Yeah.

Yeah. Schmup. Yeah. It's like kind of like actually more like space invaders. It's like pretty old. It's like pretty. Yeah.

But, uh, yeah. I don't know. Good one. I liked that it was fully mundane in the end. Me too. If you have more, if you have more on that story like about your, what your father saw and to like, again, the idea that your father saw it too, there's that

generational click that a lot of UFO people tend to have. It tends to like, they have encounters with UFOs and it weirdly runs in the family a lot of time. So there's that, there's that little, that little tie to, I don't know, putting out their high strangeness, which I really love. So on our script, Jesse, we're skipping the

next story, but the one that says horror movie dreams is all yours, boy. Lord. Okay. Uh, let's see here, horror movie dreams by user of my beloved chaos. Real quick. Real quick.

Just wanted to say this because it occurred to me before that last one that we just, that I just read, no, no user story, listener story, whatever, has ever had the energy of like a 2015 Eurojank horror game more than that. Absolutely. You know what? Yes, agree.

That's very true. You can do something cool with that. If you're like, I want to make a little horror game out of that. Yeah. Sorry. Go on. Any horror game that like has something stalking

you and you're more or less helpless, not outright tracing you, but peering at you and like weirdly stalking you, that shit gets me the most. For sure. All right. Sorry, Jesse. Go ahead. All good.

Horror movie dreams by my beloved chaos. Let's do this thing. I just had one of the best dreams I had in a while and I'm bookmarking my last meal or my meal last night for future. I need good dreams. Night. I feel that way.

Every time I eat pizza late at night, I always have a wild dream. Feel free to read on the podcast. If you like to, everyone else enjoy. Cheese is a common dream factory. Isn't it? I don't know. I didn't know that.

I thought it was the combination of like grease and meat and I don't know. I've heard cheese is like the dream substance. I don't know. Cheese is the dream substance. I love that. Anything called the dream substance I'm here for. I think that's accurate in any context.

So yesterday I wanted to watch horror movies, but I never really got around to it. Well, my brain thought I really needed some horror in my life. So I had a full babysitter slasher movie dream. Hell yeah. I was babysitting two kids in a huge house. They have a game room in the attic.

So I made them cookies and milk. I went down to get my helping of cookies and milk when a lady appeared and tried to slash me. It was the female counterpart to Jason. What's the, what's the female counterpart to Jason? I actually know exactly what this is. I do not. Cause I exist in a weird part of the internet.

This is what it is for a, for a long time. These were very popular. Oh, okay. Cosplayers would dress like them. Basically it's just over sexed. Again. Anime versions. It could be over sexified on the internet.

And this is just over sexed. It's just an anime waifu wearing the Jason mask sideways. So you can see her face and hot body. Yeah. Counterpart. Sure. Yeah. That's definitely the counterpart.

You're right. That's my assumption. It could be like a full on. It's Jason, but with. Does she have like a mom too? Like a feminine body. I don't know. Yeah.

Whatever. Whatever. So again, we're in this attic with the two kids and the writer went down to go get cookies and milk and this lady up here tried to slash them. It was the female counterpart of Jason. As I tried to escape, I ran to the garage. There was a female counterpart of Freddy Krueger.

See. Perfect. We've got them both. You have both right there. This is like a sexy version of the Monster Mash. What the hell is this? This is great so far. I reached for my phone, but I didn't have it on me because I had

tiny woman pockets. The true nightmare. Now here's the question. Do we know my beloved chaos? Are you our tiny woman pockets common for you in your day to day? Or is this one of those like, it was crazy because this is the first time it's ever happened to me.

That would be helpful. And I assume. I assume you want me to figure out what this dream is and I'm going to let you know. Yeah, of course. I am not at all qualified to do this, but you keep asking. Y'all keep asking me. And so I'm going to keep doing it.

I don't think there's anybody who's qualified. I have to pick one dream now just because there's so many. We would do episodes only of dreams and I just can't do that. So it's one per one of these. I got you. All right. I often find tiny woman pockets when I buy cute shorts. Yeah, not for me.

I need, I need like all cargo pants pockets all the time. I need extra space. I carry around a purse. I left my phone on the couch, which was now on the other side of Jason lady. So I ran outside and wouldn't you know the female counterpart of Michael Myers was out there? Well, of course, young Jamie Lee Curtis.

By the way, shout out Jamie. Young Jamie Lee Curtis. Long hair and all ready to slash me. Wait, when are we getting Jamie Lee Curtis on this podcast? No, I can't imagine one way that I could ever be like, Hey, uh, here's you want to be on. Let me. Let me pitch this to you.

Here's what it's called. What's it? So is Laurie strode the counter? I guess she was supposed to be evil. Laurie strode. I don't know. There is a period young female counterpart to Michael Myers was out there.

Period. Young Jamie Lee Curtis, right? So it could be two people outside. Yeah. That's true. Could just be like a hot lady. Michael Myers and Laurie strode. Yeah.

Who's also on her team. Well, here's the thing. That's not what is said here. This is young Jamie Lee Curtis. Different. Right. Different. So confusing, but I mean, right in between shooting scenes from

the film, I ran down the street and with my luck, a car was coming down the road. I screamed and yelled and the lady stopped driving or lady driving stopped. She let me in the back of her car, but rolled down her window to talk to Jamie Curtis, no, who had a letter, a letter opener hidden behind. Oh my God.

So then don't call her Jamie Curtis, a letter opener hidden behind her back. The car lady was going to call the cops, but Jamie Curtis, Jamie Lee Curtis, who now had short hair and was older. Oh, she fucking aged as she walks. Or there are two of them. We don't quite know. Oh, shit.

Jabbed the letter opener in her neck. Damn. Oh, well, that'll kill someone. He started heading for the back door to get me, which I had locked and as he reached for the knob, I jumped into the front, slammed my foot over the dead car ladies foot on the gas pedal. I floored it out of there sitting on the ladies corpse. That's RIP lady.

Jamie Lee Curtis stabbed someone in the neck. Coming to kill him. This is fucking. This is fucking. This is where I started to lose a dream. Oh, no. I like the story. So I kept it going.

You like this story. Time out. Have you boys ever lucid dreamed? Never. Not once. Maybe for like a moment, but I've never been like, I'm lucid dreaming. Yeah. That's yeah.

I think I can think of one time where I realized I was in a dream, but I couldn't change anything. I was like, I just want to wake up. They hit to the cops and they went to check on the kids who were sick, but alive. The cop found no trace of anyone else ever being there. And it was only my fingerprints on the letter opener and the maid who worked for the people I was babysitting.

Turns out the cookies had been poisoned that I give into the kids. Wow. What? A real granny nanny. It seemed I had imagined the invaders and I was the one who tried to kill the kids and ended up killing the lady with the letter opener. At least that's what the police believed.

Dude, this is the 2015 Eurojank story time hour. This is great. Then I woke up too much to continue. Then I woke up too much. All right. I guess you were just awake a lot. I woke up too much to continue. Good dream.

Was it? I guess like it's a wild ride. Yeah. I do want to be known. I hadn't watched any slasher lately and honestly, they aren't my favorite genre of horror. I haven't had a lucid dream in a long time either, but they're always enjoyable.

Thanks for the read. Okay. I again, I don't tend to know much about why the slasher showed up. I would imagine the reason why is even though you didn't think about them, you were in the mindset of horror movies and those are like the most recognizable characters in all of the horror genre. So then showing up in your movie. But the hot lady versions.

Right. The hot lady versions. I imagine like the horny was a good dream. I believe that it's like Homer. It's like Homer Simpson's version of a dream. Yeah. Um, I would say that children in general, or I don't know what two kids means, but I know that a son, a children in general, the sign is kind of like new

ideas or new opportunities. Right. Like it's a, it's a new thing that you have to deal with and it's always seen as a blessing. Right. So you have these two kids. It could be the sign of like two important things in your life that are coming up or you know, that kind of stuff that you're concerned with.

And then the idea of poisoning them is kind of like self sabotage. Does that make any sense? Like you were sabotaging like self destructive behavior. Yeah. Like it could be because like the idea of babysitting is the idea of taking care of others. Right. Or maybe even yourself, I guess, if this could be looking at the, the two kids

are facets of new opportunities for yourself and you're nurturing them and you're taking care of them. Right. And because they're not your kids, this is like a temporary thing. This is, it's like a, maybe even like a harmless thing, but it's important to you. And then you are either self sabotaging this thing or worried about self sabotaging it through outside things like hot slasher ladies.

I honestly don't know. I, it seems like one of those dreams that's, uh, you know, like change your view kinds of dreams or your brain's trying to reconcile a bunch of things going on in your life. And it's like, Hey, change processing. Yeah. Change your perspective is kind of the vibe I get there. And you had a good one that you enjoyed.

So, you know, I had, look, I had a dream finding your perfect home. Finding your perfect home was hard, but thanks to burrow furnishing it has never been easier. Burrow is a new kind of furniture company. One that believes furniture and the furniture shopping process should fit seamlessly into your life. Their in-house design studio has thought of everything from premium durable hardwood frames to stain and scratch resistant fabrics.

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shipping to your door. Right now, get 15% off your first order when you go to burrow.com slash podcast. That's burrow.com slash podcast for 15% off your first order. Burrow.com slash podcast. The other night, I'm going to tell you this dream because it's insane. This is just the general beats. I wrote it all down, but we don't need that. So, sure, sure, sure.

I had a dream where I was watching a movie. I went to a movie theater, was watching the movie. I wasn't even in it. I was just watching the movie. And the movie was about these two dudes. It was split into one of those like sort of movie things that sometimes directors do where time is out of order. And it was a story of two men who throughout history had always worked

together or been friends or whatever. And at the same point in time, in the movie, all the timelines connected where it was like they all realized they had known each other throughout time, even like in the future, they recognized they knew who they were in the past. And it was like weird trippy, like into the eye of one guy. It was bizarre. That's the plot of Earthbound.

I mean, it was very crazy. And then what ends up happening is a random anime girl shows up. Cannot explain this at all. A random anime girl shows up, kills one guy, and then says something long lines of like, good, it is done. And I guess throughout history, she has always killed one of them. Oh. I don't know why.

Couldn't tell you what that was about. But she always shows up and does it. And here's the crazy thing. What's the Charlize? What's the Charlize and Will Smith movie? Hancock. Hancock. Yeah.

Oh my God, yes. It was, oh my God. It was a very bizarre thing that only, like when the, when the movie ended, there was a post credit scene. This I knew I was like, this is a Jesse dream. It was a volcano. And in the volcano, waking up was white vision. Oh.

Oh my God. And a sexy redheaded woman was like, good. She was like, good, you're awake. We have work to do. And that was the dream. And I woke up like, what was that? I woke up from the dream. What did I just dream?

Yeah. It was so bizarre. So yeah, your brain does stuff, man. Now we could dig deep in that and try to figure out what it means. Sometimes your brain is just like, let's get wild, dude. You, you ate the weirdest thing. So now we're going to have a weird moment. And that could be what the sexy version of slashers is for you.

Just that Gorgonzola, that Gorgonzola nut. The gateway to dreams, cheese town. Well, I will try cheese before I go to bed. But I feel like the weed just kills my dreams every night. Go, go like French and extreme on the cheese. You know what I mean? Like get something stinky. You're the better.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You're the power of cheese. I don't think that's... Could I learn French through cheese osmosis and stomach? I don't think you will, but it's possible. Anything's possible.

I'm ready, dude. I'm ready for anything to happen at this point in my life. Like bring on anything. If aliens aren't going to do that, cheese osmosis. I'll accept it. All right. On to the next story. This is deja vu or deja revé.

I believe is how you say that by Reddit user Contares. Deja rev. Deja rev. I've never actually heard that term before. What does that mean? Deja rev. We're about to find out, my friend. I'm only going down a YouTube rabbit hole on the psychology of dreams.

And one of the doctors mentioned deja revé as a random throwaway example like everyone knows what it is. For me, this was new and thus led me down another rabbit hole of what is deja revé. Basically it's using my own language and how I understand it. Deja vu is a moment that is eerily familiar that the event you are experiencing has already happened. Example, you're going out to open a door in a public space and somehow you know it's a push door and somehow you know you're going to get a little disappointed if pulling it

doesn't work. You pull anyways because that's what you chose to do in the first place. You get disappointed and the moment is over and life continues on. On the other hand, you push the door, it opens and now you are confused because that eerie feeling is persisting. Then it tapers out because you aren't thinking about it. That's a weird little example. For me, it's not really like that when I have deja vu.

It's just that feeling of like, as I'm doing it already, I feel like I've already done it. There's not like this. I can't seem to like predict. What is that feeling? Does it have a name? Where if you're thinking about a song and then you hear it on the radio and like confirmation bias?

It's just a synchronicity. Obviously why you're thinking about the song is because it's played often and so you feed back into yourself. It's one of those things where, yeah, I'm very curious about that if that has a special name. Synchronicity. The simultaneous occurrence of events which appear significant related but have no discernible causal connection.

Do we believe in that on this podcast? Is that? I think synchronicity is really. It's not like a supernatural thing. That's just a thing that happens. I don't know how. Do we accept that? Manifest.

I don't know how it manifests in the world for sure, but I do believe that there are quantum forces at play. Yes. I would. I agree with that. Moving on. Deja Reve, it describes the sensation of feeling like you dreamed about something before it happened in real life as an example, Groundhog Day, but one event usually, but one event

usually or you dream that a cup is knocked off the table spilling coffee everywhere during a meeting and then at the meeting got that dreamy feeling and moved the cup and the cup wasn't knocked over by whoever was going to knock it over. No mess. This is called that so Raven is what this is called. I have experienced Deja Reve way more than deja vu when I first noticed I was like eight years old. It was little things like my bro slipping on a on a spill and me thinking I dreamt this,

but I hadn't had had any recollection of the dream before that time as I noticed it remembered as I noticed it, I remembered the dream. I did try to remember my dreams and now I remember most of my dreams, even the fantastical ones. Shit weirds up there. Yeah. I mean, that's true. If you do start like Jesse says, writing down your dreams and stuff like that, your

brain does start remembering them because naturally your brain tries to eject that shit as fast as possible so it doesn't get mixed with reality. But if you start writing shit down, yeah, you can start remembering your dream. If you take an interest. Yeah. It's really cool. Uh, the continuing, the biggest event to make me confirm it was actually a thing rather than a coincidence.

I was like nine or 10 years old. It was a Friday afternoon. We were packing up the classroom, moving chairs out of the way for the cleaners. I had the dreamy feeling and it followed in my dream. I moved to chair just as someone was sitting down. They fell and cut the back of their head open on the corner of the chair. It was bleeding everywhere and they were crying. Instead of following the path.

I just called out, I'm taking your chairs. They still fell, but didn't, they didn't seriously get hurt. Now my question to whoever is reading this. Have you experienced deja vu or deja vu and what are your experiences? TLDR, deja vu, eerily familiar feeling in an event happening, deja revue, one event of Groundhog Day. I experience it regularly. What's your take on?

I definitely experienced deja vu more than I experienced deja revue. I don't even know if I can, I don't, I can't think if I've actually experienced deja revue forever, revue. This is from my dream. I've never had that thought. It's more deja vu where I'm like, I feel like I've done this. I've walked these steps. I've done this thing.

I usually believe it's true, the thing that I did. But then, you know, I guess deja revue, like I'm in like another country I've never been in before and I'm like having deja vu that I must, it must be not real. You know what I mean? But I don't know. I have to believe that most of 2020 and 2021, I had one event, Groundhog Days, most of those days. I feel like you've been here.

When I watched every episode of Catfish in one week, that was, that was, that was rough. That's how I feel watching Chomp. Oh my God. After a while, I'm like, this is the same episode. I'm watching the same episode. Oh man. Yeah, you're right. Chomp does that too.

You're like, wait a minute. How long have I been here? I've seen every kitchen nightmare. Yeah. Every time a dude shows up and it's like, I work with the best chefs in the world and I'm going to win. I'm like, this guy's lose. First round.

This guy's out. Yep. Yep. First round he's out. Yeah. I'm the same way. deja vu, no real deja vu that I can think of, but definitely deja vu. If this is true though, like he asked at the end, what's your take on deja vu?

If that's something real, what do you think that is? Do you think it's just your brain being really delayed and like whatever signals are flying around? I'm sure we've talked about this before and you know, I don't think it's anything new, but the idea that the human mind always, always tries to put pieces of puzzles together and fill in information and constantly is trying to like make something out of nothing. And so, you know, it's how we as a species survived being attacked by animals and stuff. It's like, it's dark and scary.

Let's get out of here. And so I think that is all these things are possible and all these things probably do happen. But I would say that it's probably your brain pooling bits of memory and think, you know, because the way you think about memory isn't just like a scene in your head. It is one strand being pooled and then that strand has other strands like a smell sets you off or you're in a certain place and that sets you off. I remember I saw a movie once where the like in the background was a place that I took

a date once and I was like, man, this sour the entire movie and I was like, it does. It sucks man. Your brain will latch onto one thing and then you just like, well, yeah, it's totally and I don't know. I personally think it's like a thought that you have that you don't notice that came from you. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. I think that's I think that's what I think you're right. I do. I think I lean on that because your brain, the brain is like fucking like you're talking about that. You're talking about the chair, you know, that, you know, that she, she moved because that person cut their head. Like maybe it's possible that like you had the thought that somebody was going to cut

themselves and get a bad injury if you didn't tell them that you were going to move the chair, but that you like, yeah, but like then you, you didn't realize that it was like coming from your own conscious perception of the room. You know, I'm not saying that's what happened. I'm not going to like try and take away your like significant moment in your life. But like, I think like, you know, Voo and Reve, the difference is just you as the observer of that phenomenon of remembering, like realizing a thought that's not from your own head is from your own head, right?

Depending on whether you think it's something that could have happened before, I think that's deja vu. And I think deja Reve is more something that couldn't possibly have happened, but it's deja vu again. You know what I mean? Yeah. I follow you. And I think I feel similarly, yeah, because again, your brain is capable.

So it's crazy things that you can't even fathom. So Alex, you're up on the next one. This one's called Seeing Horns by Reddit user, the Jamaicanese nerd. I feel not good saying that. That word. You sound right. You already said it. Hey, chill.

Yeah. Hey, chill boys. Long time listener and even longer time fan of Jesse damn started with the Dead Space LP and Alex damn started with the decks. Yo, Mathis, I started here. Don't feel bad. Honestly, majority of the people who know me now know me from this. So that's fine.

That's totally okay. And honestly, something to be proud of. I'm happy with that. Same. But I'm semi skeptical about the paranormal, even though I'm a Christian law, I will agree that there are things that I believe we don't have answers for, but I also know scammers and con artists exist. This however is a different story.

Also feel free to use this on the pod. I come from a small town in North Carolina town. Oh, yeah. I come from a small town in North Carolina town so small, it's made up of about 10 large families total. Obviously I had to get out of there when I hit college age and in my family in particular, there's this generational thing that happens once every few batch of kids. Apparently some of us have the ability to see and I quote, horns of sin and weight on

other people. That's basically amazing. Yeah. Basically, they're the visual representation of the problems people deal with and carry with them either emotionally or physically. Side note, people got some pretty big horns. Can you come to a live show and tell me what my horns look like please? Right.

Please. And thank you. Please. That would be so fucking amazing. Can you submit pictures of us to the Reddit? Yeah. No. Can you see horns through pictures?

What are my horns like? Do I got nice horns? Yeah. Digitally or do you have to be in person? I want to know about my horns. What did you say? I'm horny. Oh, awesome powers over here.

Between the ages of 12 to 24, I'm 26 at time of riding. I always thought this was just a metaphor for being empathetic and just noticing when someone is having a rough go of things. Right up until one day, I was out with a good friend at the mall shopping for wedding clothes in October. We were in line and I was about to hand my card over the cashier. Right as she handed me my card back, I froze as I noticed a set of really large looking ram horns on her head.

I thought it was some kind of costume thing, so I told her nice horns. That's like that video game where you are in a dream and everybody is a ram or a sheep. Oh, Catherine. Yes, Catherine. Yes. That's a good game. She looked at me puzzled when I said that, like I said something either weird or stupid. Then went back to working the line.

I turned to my friend thinking it may have said something offensive, but he looked at me like I was crazy too. Everybody left the story the following conversation happened. Friend. Dude, are you okay? Me. Yeah, why? Friend.

Because you complimented the cashier's horns. Me. Yeah, she probably hates wearing them or something. I shouldn't have said anything. F. She wasn't wearing horns, ma'am. I froze. The hell did he mean?

I saw him playing his day on her head like it was impossible not to notice them. Ever since then, I've been noticing them all over. Some are smaller than expected of certain circumstances and others are larger than what you'd believe. Nothing breaks my heart more than seeing a 12-year-old with horns larger than himself. No idea. My God, imagine that visual of just like a 12-year-old with huge gray horns. Baby Hellboy.

It's like the Satan from that one Tom Cruise movie. Legend? Yeah, with those big ass horns. I haven't seen that movie in a minute. I would be not surprised if that movie was a big pile of shit, but I loved it when I was a kid. I froze. The hell did he mean?

I saw him playing his day on her head like it was impossible not to notice them. Ever since then, I've been noticing them all over. Some are smaller than expected of certain circumstances and others are larger than what you'd believe. Nothing breaks my heart more than seeing a 12-year-old with horns larger than himself. No idea if this is a psychological thing or if I'm actually seeing stuff, but I'd love your input on it because it's kind of freaky. Anyway, love you guys and if you want more elaboration, please feel free to ask.

I mean, yeah, I would love. Can you see horns through pictures? Yeah. What do we look like? I want to know what our horns look like. That's interesting. Like if they actually are seeing them too, like... Yeah, I was going to say.

I wonder what or why. And ram horns, not devil horns, which is something that I would have assumed. I imagine mine are like pretty cool looking regardless. I would say you're 80% of them. You think mine are big because I tried to bargain with Satan and that like added on some weight? I think yours are big because of the pregnant Pokemon. Listen, we learned through those tweets. You started it all, Alex.

It was you mentioning pregnant Pokemon many, many episodes ago. So what you're saying is that you, Alex, are Dr. Frankenstein. And Mathis is the monster that got away from you. Yeah. 100%. And I am the pitchfork people with my torches like burn this whole thing down. Yeah. Yeah.

That's true. You're the little boy that Frankenstein chokes out. That's what happened to you, Jess. You got ruined. You got to sue the victim in this. Call me and look at this pregnant skiddy. Don't go there. You don't want to go there.

It's great. I love a pregnant Pokemon. That is all pregnant Pokemon. It's not cool. There's nothing cool about it. It's weird. I don't know. Pocket said she wanted some more and I think that's enough.

Yeah. Well, that's who cares what she wants. I got to look at those damn things. All right. We got one more story to wrap up this episode. This one simply called a childhood encounter by Reddit user Bri LeVue. I think I'm saying that. Sounded cool.

Whatever. I want to start this off by saying, feel free to share this. And if you had a similar experience, please share because I hate not knowing what shit is. And this has annoyed the hell out of me since it happened. This is the one experience I cannot explain away with science or any medical condition. And before you think sleep paralysis, let me tell you that's not it. And you'll find out why.

When I was about 10 years old, I had an encounter with something at the bottom of my bed. I went to sleep like any normal night my brother was sleeping on the floor next to me in a little cot. My mother was asleep with her TV on in her bedroom across the hall. I woke up at around what time I don't know because I wasn't allowed to have a cell phone. It was still dark, so either middle of the night or super early morning, I look at the bottom of my bed and there's a womanly shadow standing at the bottom of my bed. Naturally I think it's just my mother checking up on me since her bedroom is only across

the hall and I call mom, mom, mom. She finally answers me from her bedroom. I look at my bedroom door that leads to the hallway and then look back at this thing and it now has glowing red eyes. I naturally do the only thing a kid can do and hide under my blanket. I stay there until I saw the morning light shine through my covers. My family already thought I was a weirdo, extremely Christian household and I was not vibing with religion at all.

So instead of telling anyone what I saw, I just opted to sleep in my mother's room the next night. My brother decided to sleep in the living room. Turns out me calling for mom had woken him up and he also saw the thing at the bottom of the bed and he also knew better than to tell anyone. But once again, I would wake up and I looked in the corner of the room and there it was again glowing red eyes, already apparent and staring at me. The next night I joined my brother in the living room while I didn't wake up and see

the woman again, I did apparently have an extremely bad night terror. I so bad my older sister had to come and wake me up saying I was screaming bloody murder and punching the air. I didn't even remember having a nightmare, I woke up completely normal, no elevated heart rate, no sweat, I had no idea what she was talking about. The night terrors got so bad my mother wound up having to take me to the hospital, I went to sleep, I went to a sleep doctor, spent the night at the hospital with a bunch of things attached to my head and heart, nothing.

Absolutely nothing happened while I was at the hospital, I went back home and once again the night terrors continued, this went on for a year until it suddenly just stopped. I never saw the woman again and I've never had any other experience that I can't explain away. I only believe in things I experienced, that's why I'm an atheist, this one experience is what fuels my belief in the unknown. That's the story of just the woman watching. Not bad, I mean truly a scary situation.

The fact that you were having night terrors leads me to believe maybe you were hallucinating as somebody who had night terrors as a kid. I hallucinated skeletons and shit like that. The thing about that I think is interesting about that with night terrors and even if it's real or not, the idea that it's terrifying and it's only caused by your brain I think is a fascinating topic of research, of the idea that your brain can create something that you perceive as real, well then what is real if your brain is creating everything you're seeing, touching, tasting, all that stuff anyway?

What's real man? You know the more you think about it the more you're like oh yeah I love that stuff. I really like to do because like I don't know anybody who starts with like I'm a skeptic but then has a paranormal experience I just find enjoyable. That's how they get you on this show. I know, I'm a Jesse but I've been probed by aliens. I'm a Jesse but I'm a Mathis. Exactly, but that's it boys for today's read your stories a great batch of stuff.

We appreciate you guys over on the subreddit and on the discord. That's incredible. Again if you guys want to end up patreon.com slash jilluminati pod, great website. There you go. I was going to say if you want to support us head to patreon. Also go to the eddie.com slash jilluminati. We sold out our second wave of plushies we're working on getting more yeah thank you guys so much I'm so glad you love him and we've got more merch stickers and pins and stuff

coming in a few days so go keep your eye on the store and lastly if you've enjoyed the show hey let it leave us a review wherever you listen and drop us a review let us know what you think it helps out a ton so that's about it we're going to go do a mini-soad for our patreon mini-soad 101 thank you all so much for listening and we'll see you next week. Peace. Summer is back and so are the deals at Larry H. Miller Chrysler Jeep Dodge Ram Sandy. Whether you're hitting the open road or tackling projects closer to home we've got the perfect

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