Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 183 - The Darkest Disney Urban Legends Part 2

Episode Date: December 18, 2022

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For over 65 years, we have been part of your community and we work to make a difference for every member every day. And while our name is changing, our commitment to you is not. Find out how it's getting even better here. Welcome to You First. Visit us at youfirstcu.com. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the Jaluminati podcast. As always, I am one of your hosts, Mike Martin, today. Joined by, I don't know, you're like today, to me, one of you is the Sasquatch and one of you is the Florida 8-man of LA. Those are two options, Sasquatch? Like, Squatch and Florida 8? A Sasquatch or a Sasquatch from Florida? A Sasquatch ornament on my tree and just in my mind.

Look, I love you, but you're 100 percent the Florida 8. I'll be Squatch. You know, we get a little cryptid every once in a while. I got a break away from the iconic and horrible comedy duos that I go through every week. I'll take it. Iconic and horrible, dude. That is fucking hilarious. I am baffled how many people knew who the Crankies were. I don't know if you guys got as many messages as I did. That was a sensation. Friends of mine who I did not know listened to Jaluminati were like, yo, you don't know about the Crankies? I'm like, shut the fuck up. Get out

of here. How dare you accuse me of being a lesser person for not knowing the Crankies? Listen, Dean didn't even know who the Crankies were. He lives in like Northern England. Thank God for him. Thank God for Dean. Thank God for Dean giving us a little air of legitimacy as our silent producer watching over us like a guardian angel. Yeah. Or like an incubus. I don't know. The band? Why? No, no, the guy will suck your dick. What is the band happening right now? No, what? All right. Look, guys, welcome back to part two of Disney Urban Legends, where we closely examine some of the darkest, wildest and sometimes just tales ever told about the Disney theme parks and where I may soon or may already have had to assure

one or more of my co-hosts that the rest of JFK and Greenstone are in production just because I don't want to peep people think I'm leading them on for no reason. I wrote this before this happened. It's a script. Can we address what happened today as of the recording of the podcast in terms of JFK lore? Yes. So look, fucking the JFK docs leaked like 13,000 documents about JFK leak today. According to the last fucking what, 40 minutes that it's been out or whatever. It looks like a bunch of redacted nonsense that will change nothing, but the alien documents. That's a lot of fucking documents. So yeah, something in there of import that some will pull, but will it change anything in the end? I don't know. Unless something. I'm doing a JFK episode

right now. Not today, obviously. That was like, what surprise? Walt Disney was JFK. There it is. That's an urban legend for you. And he held the power of Disney comes from the Greenstone. Yeah, exactly. That's where I was headed. No, I'm working on a JFK episode right now with Deanna for the first time. I've never worked with Deanna before, so I'm excited about that. So I'm still going to do that episode. And then probably the next one is going to be this, whatever the fuck this stupid ass big giant leak is that ruined my plans. But that's OK, because you know what, I think that the truth is out there. And I think that's more important. Yeah. Did you hold off so long because you knew this was going to happen? Do

you have inside information? I can't comment on that. I can't comment on that right now at this time. I can't work for the FBI. Are you JFK junior? I can't comment on that. Oh my God. They were right. Do you think that, dude, do you think that we have radicalized one just totally like? I take your responsibility for that because I go out of my way to make sure to say all those people are fucking idiots. We've definitely radicalized at least one Greenstone theorist. They're like. Do you? Yeah. Very passionate about Greenstone. Shout out to getting radicalized by the Shulmani pod. Let us know on r slash Shulmani pod if we have radicalized you in any way for any reason. Maybe we should create our own NFTs and release

them just like Trump. Bad idea. Bad idea. Let's do this. Go on. Go on the subreddit and say you radicalized me by and then just give me like a one sentence. One post that says the Shulmani. Well, I can't even say her name. The Shulmani podcast radicalized me by and then everyone underneath that just say how radicalize you. I will. You know what? I will put the post up in this moment as nobody knows what this is referring to until tomorrow. But there was somebody I saw on Twitter said they can't look at the word Illuminati anymore. It doesn't feel right. It has to be too tight. It's too uptight. It needs to relax. Radicalize you against the uptight Illuminati. You goddamn right. Nice. Yeah. You need that. You need that secret group of

a bunch of poor dudes who live in their bedrooms, you know, who don't control the world. But you allow us to live in our bedrooms through your wonderful contribution on patreon.com slash Shulmani. Before we shill. Can we shill in another way? Why don't we have a Shulmani bathrobe slash hood thing that you could be part of a cult? Why don't we sell them? That's a great idea. A little, a little like on the like the lapel, the breast there and says like a Shuluminati. But then when you flip up the hood, it has the eye logo for a third eye on your hood. Oh, that's a genius dude. Okay. I'm going to put that in and I'm also going to put in for the Fresno Nightcrawler anal butt plugs that we talked about at the live show. It's so simple. I can't

believe I didn't think of that. What did you say? We can just we can tell them both in the same thing there. What did you say? You said two words or so that I didn't quite approve them. What? I don't know what you're talking about. I am merely reiterating the genius idea we came up at our live show and saying maybe not the time I blacked out. I blacked out during the live show. Yeah. What do you mean by we? I said the Fresno Nightcrawler would make a perfect butt plug. Oh, you did say that. Yes. I don't think anyone's agreed that's for sale. I mean, we can sell it. Okay. Yeah. All right. Just because we can doesn't mean we should. You know people will buy it. Folks, if you remember last time we started ranking these

Disney urban legends according to North American ski trail symbols, which vary according to the intensity of each slope slash legend. Oh my God. We could just call it the Nightcrawler. Please. Someone stop this, man. That's perfect. That's perfect. The Nightcrawler. It's done. Why am I in the podcasting business? I need to open up a sex store. I was trying to pull my eyeballs out in part one. We covered what some boastful skiers might call the baby trails, a.k.a. green circle beginner and blue square intermediate where everything was just kind of fun and interesting and exciting and positive. But this time before we enter the unknown depths of black diamond challenging urban legends, I want to issue our listeners a stern but fair warning.

Warning. This podcast is made possible by contributions from our listeners at patreon.com slash Luminati Pod. If you don't want to miss out on ad free episodes, bodacious art, fresh merch, movie commentaries or many, many, many unreleased minisodes, you better sign up now or else, you know, you won't get all that cool good stuff. You have been warned. Okay. Incredible. Dean, could you make a note and pitch his voice down slightly during that? So he does sound like one of those like like I got reloaded. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Please. Thank you very much. Now, as I was pretending to segue to just a moment ago, for black diamond level urban legends, please ask the children and the elderly to leave the room.

These mysteries we're about to rip into like ravenist human size ne'er do well, Mortimer mouse are basically similar to the previous ones, except they are a little looser, more inflammatory. They sound exactly like made up creepypastas, even though they are not and often include violence, despair, and other not safe for work elements, including the worst type of self harm. You know the one I'm talking about. Proceed with caution because this ride goes from zero to 55 miles an hour in less than five seconds. Get ready, screamers, head back, face forward and hang on. Launch in five, four, three, two, one. Okay, we're going. Ripping the bandaid right off. According to Snopes in November of 1966, Walt Disney checked into St. Joseph

Hospital due to rapidly declining health. And sure enough, he got an x-ray back which showed a spot on his left lung the size of a walnut and which he had to have surgery for immediately. Sorry about that, gang. I know we were having a fun little time there, but I had to just bring it right back down. That's the bottom of the first. I was pulling like a Star Trek shake on my side. So the listeners understand I was really putting my all in it. Jesse did nothing and he just said he crushed it. And basically to continue the roller coaster metaphor, it was all downhill from there. The next day, his entire left lung was removed. And after spending about a month getting his affairs in order and visiting relatives, his circulatory system failed due to

stress from drugs and cancer treatments using cobalt on December 15, 1966, which strangely enough is exactly 56 years ago today. Don't know why, but I hope that made your... That is so weird. I hope your hair raised for a minute there. Well, by the time they're listening to it, it will not actually be today. Yeah. But what's weird is we had to delay the recording that day kind of optionally, semi-optionally and like it lined up. Oh, what? And then we end the JFK documents drop. No, he's with us. He's with us for sure. You know, the lights still on. Logically, Jesse, you make sense, but... Correctly. And it does. Actually, you make sense. We all learned facts are only facts if you believe in them. I feel like them. That's why

this country's in the shitter, my man. You are a corrector. And yeah. And I'm going to tell you all the shit that's wrong with Disneyland, which feels... Yeah. Anyway, look, Walt's death was today. It's crazy that it's his anniversary. It feels mystical. It's not nearly as interesting as all the various urban legends about what happened to Walt Disney's body after he died, which is anything in the park special for his death day? No. And no. And I'll get into why in just a minute. First of all, let's talk about the elephant in the room, the cryonics thing. According to Wikipedia, which is perfect for this kind of thing, the difference between regular old cryogenics, which is a word that people are probably more familiar with than cryonics,

and cryonics, is that cryonics is specifically about the concept of storing dead human remains at low temperatures for long periods of time with the intent to resurrect them in the future once technology is discovered that we'll be able to safely revive them. I don't know. You probably know this, Alex, but I don't know if you know this, Jesse. There are multiple companies out there that you can pay. Oh, yeah. And they will take your body on death and store it in like an actual cryogenic chamber. And there's multiple different prices. Like if you just want to preserve your head, that's a cost. But depending on what you buy, you might be stored in a case of like 20 different heads. So you'll just all be in there waiting

for your future. It's like a Mortal Kombat level. It's like $100,000 a year every year, something crazy like that. It's a yearly subscription. I don't got time for that. You have to sign up now and start paying now. I need Alex to shoot like a bow, a flaming bow at my corpse on a boat. Push me up. The thing that sucks is that the real vikings just like sometimes they'd be on a boat, but they just bury that shit. Yeah. Well, like, well, then the Vikings of movies bury me. The Game of Thrones fucking the guy from the Riverlands. That was good. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Here's a quote from Wikipedia about cryonics for Jesse to read. I'll see it. I'll read it. Okay. Cryonics is regarded with

skepticism within the mainstream scientific community. It is generally viewed as a pseudoscience and its practice has been characterized as quackery. Cryonics procedures can begin only after the patients are clinically and legally dead. Cryonics procedures may begin within minutes of death and use cryo protectants to prevent ice formation during cryopreservation. It is, however, not possible for a corpse to be reanimated after undergoing vitrification as this causes damage to the brain, including its neural circuits. The first corpse to be frozen was that of James Bedford in 1967. As of 2014, about 250 dead bodies had been cryo preserved in the United States, and 1500 people had made arrangements for cryopreservation of their corpses. Critics argue

that economic reality means it is highly improbable that any cryonics corporation could continue in business long enough to take advantage of the claimed long term benefits offered. Early attempts of cryonic preservations were performed in the 1960s and early 1970s, which ended in failure with all but one of the companies going out of business and their stored corpses thawed and disposed of. Which is just an awful thought. But if the stories are to be believed, here is where Walt Disney comes in, and I'm going to use quotes from the same awful book that Snopes points to 1986's Disney's World by Leonard Mosley to kind of lay out a definitive version of the legend. So first, here's one that I stitched together from a couple quotes from Mathis to read,

explaining Disney's alleged interest. Should I read this one then? If you want, I'm going to tag off. I think we can put this one right here. And now you guys are even. It was about this time that Walt Disney became acquainted with the experiments into the process known as cryogenesis, or what one newspaper termed the freeze drying of the human cadaver after death for eventual resuscitation. The chief problem that troubled Walt was the length of time it might take the doctors to perfect the process. How long would it be before the surgical experts could bring a treated cadaver back to working life to be brutally practical? Could it be guaranteed in fact that he could be brought back

in time to rectify the mistakes his successors would almost certainly start making at Epcot the moment he was dead? So to be clear, just to understand the context of this, I don't know if I mentioned this last time, but the Disney World project, the entire land of it, not just the Magic Kingdom, but the whole thing was going to be something called Epcot. I forget what the thing is. It's like the something something community of tomorrow. I forget what it is, but it's self contained. It was supposed to be like an entire future city that he was going to build, not a theme park, but when he died, they just decided, you know what, let's just do like Epcot the park and it'll be like a international thing and we'll just do another Disneyland and

it's going to be huge. And that's what they did. But at the time he was thinking about building literally like he was like he was like a desperate madman searching the fringes. Yeah, thank you, Dean. Experimental prototype community of tomorrow. It's exactly what it was. He was trying to search the fringes of science for a way to keep on living long enough to see his dream of a self contained future city realized. Everyone knows that summer is made for fun. What are you doing for fun this year? Lagoon is Utah's home for summer fun and is now open daily. Don't miss out on all the fun and excitement you can only find at Lagoon. Purchase your season passport today and enjoy all the rides you love and Laguna Beach, Pioneer Village and live entertainment all summer

long. And don't forget, Frightmares in the fall. See lagoonpark.com for information and to purchase your season passport today. Lagoon now open daily. For over 65 years, we have been part of your community and we work to make a difference for every member every day. And while our name is changing, our commitment to you is not. Find out how it's getting even better here. Welcome to You First. Visit us at youfirstcu.com. It's a man not entitled to his city of the future. The sweat of his brow. No, says the man in government. It belongs to the people who are still alive. It's interesting because I feel like, I mean, the idea of freezing your body like as the first quote kind of points at has the issue of like damaging the fucking brain. Like how do

you preserve the brain, which essentially turns to like goop the minute you're dead. Well, yeah, you're right. The moment that thing comes out of your skull, it turns to like a mush and you can't do anything. You gotta move quick. I feel like we'd be more likely to see something and I think the easiest way to compare it is like Soma almost, where we create a way to create a complex neural network on hardware that we use for like AI or something and being able to copy. We still have to like learn how our brains even work in that. We still have no way to know. There is any direct copy of you is a copy of the pieces that make up you, but it's not you. Yeah, it's not you. It would be just like Soma spoilers. Just like Soma is in the end,

is like the realization that it's not you. It's just the copy of you and now you, the you, you is still in your dying body. That's what makes the fun bit of Star Trek interesting, where technically teleportation is destroying yourself every single time and reassembling you. So like philosophically, ethically, there's so many fun things to think about there. I honestly just think that in the 60s, people just in general, especially older people in the 60s, just didn't have that complex of an understanding of the human sure, like psyche. And we still don't. And at first like in the, according to this bogus biography, things were going well at first. Here's another quote for Jesse to read.

You can just keep going there, Jesse, since this one, this will get us back on track here. The surgeons had taken away his disease lung to examine it, and then we're going to preserve it. Walt was pleased when he heard that he knew enough about cryogenesis, by now to be aware that it was important to hold on to all the organs, just in case the surgeons needed to treat them before putting them back where they belong. So that's about the extent to which he thought about what you guys were just talking about. But yeah, it also was kind of like, no, that's how that works. Yeah, it's just, it's such a simple.

Let's hear more like future, future tech, like, like, okay, for example, the piece of his lung that was taken away to be preserved, they were going to preserve it in fucking formaldehyde. Yep, that would have not helped at all. So like, you know, whatever. Like, futurism is like the only thing I can think of where there is the other theory or thought that like Jesse said, it'd be a brain transplant, and you, but you would have to be implanted into a basically a mechanical body that now doesn't age.

And it might still might not be your, it might just be a copy of you. It's, it's probably. Well, if it's your physical brain moved over, though, that's, that's what I'm talking about. Even by your brain data, that's not you, that is a copy of your memories of collection and your personality, your actual brain. Maybe while you're alive, right? Like maybe you have continuous consciousness, but if you lose consciousness and you die, you, like, I'm not even sure that when I wake up,

that goes into another question was like, well, that goes into like another question of like, well, now you're talking about like, if we're all consciousness, is our brain built to receive a certain, like quote unquote, radio wave? And that's who we are, because it's wired for that. I mean, let's not, let's go back to Alex's point for a hot sec, because literally your body, everything about it, except for brain cells, is designed to die and reap. Like the cells you were 15 years ago are not who you are today.

Yeah. No, it's like the, the shepathise, theses, right? Yeah, exactly. From WandaVision. Yeah. From WandaVision. That's exactly the origin of that, that, that whole thing. As, you know, as more and more cybernetics, I just watched the other day, a dude with no arms put a vest on that had arms on it and he's moving those damn things. And I'm like, that's the coolest you've ever seen. All I'm saying is, I'm here for like, put my brain in whatever.

I want Jack's arms. I want like a, yeah. If it's me, you put legs, like, I want to go down and become a wheel. I want the Mantis blades from Cyberpunk. That's what I want. Yeah. All I'm saying is, I want to be able to slice people up with my fucking form. I want like a foot long dick. All right. We need to have a talk about your desires for the future.

More importantly, all I want to do is, you know how in the movies there's always the one guy who's like 300 years old and he's like, I have been alive in the party. Oh, yeah. This robot. I want that. I want to be from Prometheus. Yeah. I want to be the villain is what I'm saying.

I want to be the guy you are going to be the villain. You're going to be, you're going to be fucking Danny McBride. And this is the end, but we're not going to get that. We're going to get the ready player one universe instead. You know that. Well, at least I'm not going to be there. I love that guy. I mean, yeah.

Woo. All right. All right. Next to Overwatch after, after Walt Disney's death, according to the book, news of his death was purposely delayed to give his inner circle enough time to sneak the body away for a secret funeral before being taken immediately into a cryo chamber where it, or at least just the head, depending on which story, was stored in a sealed tomb, which other rumors online have said is possibly hidden under

Pirates of the Caribbean or Sleeping Beauty Castle, which doesn't really make logical sense to me, but simultaneously feels very good from the point of view who somebody, somebody who loves like comic books. So I don't know. Yeah, yeah, it's very. It's a good like Venn diagram thing for me. And if the first actual person on record to be frozen did it just one month after Disney allegedly did, is it really that far fetched of an idea that he did this?

It's not far fetched of an idea, especially if he was openly curious about it. Well, except Mathis that I have this quote from Diane Disney, Walt Disney's daughter that says this, which I'm going to have you read right now. And it just kind of puts the whole thing to bed if you ask me. All right. Well, there is absolutely no truth to the rumor that my father, Walt Disney, wished to be frozen. I doubt that my father had ever heard of cryonics.

And indeed, in reality, Walt had always hated the idea of death and funerals and never wanted one for himself. Though it wasn't expressly in his will, most of his family could attest to him saying that he wanted to be cremated just because it's like the most utilitarian way of being disposed of. And indeed, that is exactly what it says happened two days after his death at Forest Lawn Mortuary right on his death certificate. He was also buried according to documents and has a $40,000 internment property at Forest Lawn Cemetery, which is in Glendale, California, not too far from here, by the way.

And all that stuff about delaying news of his death and his secret funeral and stuff supposedly just comes from the fact that ever since a fortune teller that he saw as a young man told him that he would die at age 35 early, he got extremely depressed at the prospect of his own death. Even after he passed age 35, he never liked to think about it. He just did not grow emotionally in any way about his own mortality. He was just it was a big sticking point for him his whole life. And he loved life too much. Well, it was like he spent no time. He was one of those guys who just did not plan it. He did not want a ceremony at all, which is why they didn't do anything at Disney. And rather than preferring to be, you know, thought of as this like corpse at

this like parade or something, he just wanted people to think of him. People want he wanted the last time people saw him to be him like alive and smiling, right? So that's he kind of just in a weird way. Sorry, not to cut you off again, but it's like in a weird way. It's like it continues the idea of like we talked about last week of him maintaining an illusion of what reality is never seeing him down or sick and just remembering him as the magical, you know, figure that I think a lot of people see him as now. Exactly. And slash Andrew Ryan, right? And so. Yes. Yes. So the thing about him delaying his funeral and all this weird stuff and having a secret funeral, it's because of that. It's because he didn't want the death leaked to the press before his family

found out. And there's not a single hint of any of that cryonic stuff being anything besides a rumor at all. According to Snopes, they say it is possible that there are some Disney animators that could have originated the rumor just as a jpe just to like be hilarious because it is hilarious. And the first mention of it in print comes from a 1969 issue of E.C. Perry magazine, which is crazy. That's like two years after it happened, right? But I think the real big breakthrough for this that got it into like the zeitgeist as like a thing that people had. Like why did Diane Disney have to speak on this? Because it's like a huge thing that people talk about. And I think the reason that that happened came from an interview in the Los Angeles Times with former cryonic

society of California president Bob Nelson, who had this to say about it, if Jesse would not mind reading it. Let me grab it right here for you and stick it in the little little chat for you there. Bingo Walt Disney wanted to be frozen, he says, as casually as if he were talking about municipal bonds. Lots of people think that he was and that the body's in cold storage in his basement. The truth is, Walt missed out. He never specified it in writing. And when he died, family didn't go for it. They had him cremated. I personally have seen his ashes there in Forest Lawn. Two weeks later, we froze the first man. If Disney had been the first, it would have made headlines around the world and been a real shot in the arm for cryonics. But that's the way it goes.

That is an interesting thought. Like if if he actually did and was wanting to be frozen, even if they would have bragged about it. Yeah. And it's even if he had failed in it, they probably would have. Let's be real. It would have been an interesting. We could be living in a different scientific future now. Just even if we know it's not possible, money being have him put into it and like just to see the guy, the guy who did that, he is the the guy who said that is the guy who froze the first guy. And that guy is actually still frozen today. As far as I know, that's the only company around that like lasted. Yeah, pretty much. But also the other nine people that he's frozen, they all died. They all turned to mush.

So. So it's the first one, right? Yeah. So I don't know if that guy was lying or not. I don't want to go against the word of Diane Disney. I'm not trying to do that. Sure. But they even did a follow up interview with Nelson for LA Mag in 2013. So like nine years ago. And he did not, even though it's been years, he did not back down at all. So I have a little bit more here for Jesse to read from the guy. We got a call from Walt Disney Studios asking us how many people had been frozen and what kind of facilities we had and who was the medical and who the medical staff was. He was a very brilliant individual and he was checking all his bases. And that's the deal with Walt Disney being frozen. I don't think he was frozen.

I think his daughter thinks that he wasn't interested in it. And if he was interested in it, he did call the right people and he just didn't get to do it. So I would say it's busted. I don't know about you, but I it doesn't seem like anyone, including the guy that he may or may not have talked to about it, the most likely person who froze someone two months after Walt Disney died also agrees that though he says Disney was interested and they didn't do it anyway. So I doubt that the dude's on it. I can I can I can I can see him having maybe been tangentially like interested, especially if you didn't like talking about death. Right. Naturally, this thing that he might be very interested in as somebody who

doesn't want to die, right? If we have perfectly frozen mammoths and things from millions of years ago, yeah, and those things are dead, even though I'm like the most perfectly preserved man, you're dead. Like just they could clone you maybe, right? Yeah, you could maybe clone you from the from the ice thing. But you know, is that you good? Well, it's not feature on me yet either. That's an interesting question, because you'd be the identical brain, but you'd be raised different and you wouldn't. It's like you are reincarnated. It's interesting. It's an interesting so it's like a God, you know, I want to I just want to bring this. It's all leading. This is I reminded me I discovered something called determinism the other day. Do you boys know what that is?

Terminism. Yeah. Yeah, which is the idea that everything is everything is sort of the opposite of free will. Yeah. But like, yeah, the fact that like if we could if we knew how the big bank started, we can mathematically plot out how everything is going to go and how things are going to go. What's to say that's not happening right now with who we are and our decisions. And it's not just a mathematical. I would torture my when I taught there were several teachers at my school who were very, very religious. And every day at lunch, I would torture them with questions like this. And they it was very obvious they just didn't want to have to get in the nitty gritty with me. But I'd be like, yeah, how can we have free will if everything is determined

already? God's plan. And they're like, well, that's and I just it was that kind of thing. And I just love to do that because it's like fun to have the conversation. They were not my ex-girlfriend's dad used to do to the Jehovah's Witnesses that would come by. He would invite them in and like defeat them. It's hilarious. I think I said that on a podcast very recently. I can't remember it was this show or not, but I did. I did say that recently. Hey, listen, one thing I wanted to address before we move on to this next section of stories about some notorious and mysterious incidents in the park, which involves suicide. I want to I want to acknowledge that there was a recent and absolutely true news story involving a very

well documented suicide that occurred at Disneyland Park on December 3 of this month, when a man threw himself from the top of the Mickey and Friends parking structure out of respect for the people involved. And just because the story is still developing and I don't want to say something that's going to turn out to be wrong later, I'm not going to get into the details of it. I just want to say that I did not choose this topic as a response to that. And I'm not I'm not into the idea of making light of such a fresh wound on purpose. So I just wanted to acknowledge it and let in case anybody was bothered by that, I'm not going to get into it any further. But yes, that did happen. Trigger warning is what like an obvious trigger warning as we move into a very,

very sensitive topic. Yes, just to be direct, the next section involves suicide, proceed at your own risk. I'm not exactly sure why the concept of suicide at Disneyland is such a imagination capturing thing for so many people, probably just because Disneyland is supposed to be perfect and stuff. And so bad stuff happening there seems extra big statement, extra surreal. But for this section, we're going to be looking at two different stories about it and try and suss out the truth from the fiction. First off, right out the gate, here's an Imgur link that I want you guys to look at so you guys can see the picture. But there's text involved in the image and I want Mathis to read that text. Oh, here we go. Whoa. Okay, what it is. What the hell

is this? We're in the small world ride? It looks like like looking up at the ceiling of the rafters of it. Yeah. In 1999, my family visited Disneyland. We happily rode the small world ride. I was 12 at the time and my sister was six. We loved every moment and our parents smiled with nostalgia. At one time near the end, some light suddenly shut off in rear lights rights and rear lights illuminated the ceiling. The moving display parts shut off and crew members wearing red overalls walked along them to help passengers in the boats onto the stages to direct them out of the building via emergency exits. A voice came over the loudspeakers. Disneyland, thanks you for your visit. Please evacuate the attraction in order in an orderly

fashion. Keep looking forward and follow the directions of staff. Thank you. The staff wouldn't tell us much as they quickly ushered us out of the building. Ambulances were outside and a police car was parked in the main walkway. At the time, my mother still had her camera out and snapped a few photos of the crewmen and close ups of mechanical children. She snapped a last minute photo of whatever of whatever to use up the last roll of film on the camera since we were going to develop them later on the afternoon. Anyway, this was the last photo of the real aimed at the ceiling. And now I see the man hanging from the ceiling and realizing what we're looking at. Yeah. Yeah. A man hung himself and you can see him pretty like now. Like he's like red overalls and

everything is just a true story or based off of this image. So what I'm going to tell you is that this does not seem in reality to be anything more than a picture of one of these small world dolls that flies across the ceiling on some sort of wire or line. And there's no record of any death like that ever being reported at the park, nor to the people that it's a small world where red overalls when they work at the attraction. Weirdly, I think I have heard of this rumor. Yeah. It's like I say, these are like pretty things. Everything I've done on here has been like a pretty well known urban legend in the right circles. But if I guess if you're a conspiracy theorist, you're probably imagining that Disney would try and cover up something like this rather

than let it leak to the press. So don't worry about that. More on the dolls of it's a small world a bit later. But I just wanted to point out to that because we're talking about suicide. This is the one that always comes up based on the way just like you just said about Disney and not wanting people to know stuff. You would think that if there was a suicide, the person's dead already. So they would be like, all right, well, stop people from getting on the rides, finish up everyone who's on the ride and then shut down for the day. Then take it down. Yeah. Take it down. Yeah. Exactly. So yeah, like I say, this is a very famous picture. You even may have seen it yourself listener. If you are into Disneyland creepypasta or whatever. But yeah,

this is just a fucking another one of the dolls on the ride. But like I say, more on the dolls later. Next, if you know your theme parks, you'll know that in the 2010s Disneyland Paris previously known as Euro Disney was in some financial trouble. I believe there was a defunct land about this topic at one point or it had to do with Michael Eisner or something. But it was like basically the story of Euro Disney having having problems in the 2010s. Apparently, younger inexperienced French top management took on more and more roles over half a decade or so, because Disney didn't completely own the park. There was like some sort of prince or something, something like a Saudi prince or something had like 10% Disney had some of it. And then a company called Euro

Disney, I believe that was French, like owned a large portion of it as well. And that's just me being very broad on that. So forgive me if I'm a little bit mistaken. But basically, things began to deteriorate quickly because these young new managers were coming in, and they were cutting costs and doing things that you shouldn't do at a theme park about making everybody have a great time. And it really caused a problem in in Disneyland Paris. And in fact, here is a quote from a maintenance man slash union activist called AirVe Somad, where math is to read from an article in The Independent from 2010 and drop that right here for you. What we sell is something wonderful. We sell smiles. We sell the happiness of children.

We all love our jobs and what our jobs represent. But in the last few years, there has been a new management approach, which has in many cases made our working lives intolerable. Exactly. So this is just proof that from a union activist in the ranks that this was actually happening. So from there, things take a turn towards the creepypasta adjacent very quickly. Allegedly, in 2010, two separate cooks at the park took their own lives in response to the situation. It almost sounded fake to me at first because you're thinking, oh, French chefs, you know, faced with the premise of reheating food would like do something really extravagant and weird like this. But in reality, one chef really did throw himself in front of a train one day after

another one of his colleagues threatened suicide. And the other chef, his father-in-law, reported that he found a message scratched into the wall of his son-in-law's house, which said, je ne veux pas retourner chez Mickey, which means I don't want to go back to Mickey's. Like some kind of Five Nights at Freddy fucking environmental storytelling shit. Yeah, what? I know it sounds made up, but I went and I verified it all myself. It's true. This was reported on in many major news outlets, though Disney denies any wrongdoing and claims to have investigated both cases thoroughly and that they weren't those suicides were not a result of anything that Disney did. And that's not even all because three years later in 2013, right after being called

into his boss's office, a garden worker at Disneyland Paris poured gasoline all over himself and tried to light himself on fire. And he only didn't do it because another guy saw what he was doing and like fucking tackled his ass to the ground and saved his fucking life, which is I think a pretty grand gesture to make as an employee of a fucking happy ass theme park that's supposed to be great to work for also. Since then, I guess Disney has taken back full control of the park and invested a lot more money in the park. And theoretically, I believe things are getting much better there. But I have no idea why these people chose such gruesome and disturbing ways to go. Maybe it's just a cultural thing, or maybe it really was just

like so, so, so awful. But I hope that the people who work there today are in a much better mental place. Anyway, time for a short Reddit post palette cleanser. Here we go. Last time we did a Disney episode, I talked a little bit about how awful Grad Night was, if you remember, because it's a bunch of drunk, horny, stoned, unsupervised teenagers locked inside Disneyland together after hours. I was stuck in a traffic jam of school buses for half of mine, and half of the park was closed so they could set up a giant projector to prepare Pirates 3 on Tom Sawyer Island and closed half the fucking rides in the park. But now that you know what Grad Night is, here's a spicy, little, unverifiable post by Reddit user, steak inside of steak. This is the thing that happens

in LA. Yeah. Yeah, all the high schools. You all just go there at night? No, it's a thing. Like Disney puts it on, and it starts after hours. So you show up at 11.30, and you stay there till four in the morning, and then it's like a party. There's areas where you can dance and stuff. It sucks. It's awful. It's exactly as shitty as you think it is. And like I say, I literally got stuck in a traffic jam of buses arriving for Grad Night for something that I paid $200 for. It's about half of it sitting in a school bus, the LAUSD school bus, driving past a pie restaurant. It sucks. But this is a post by Reddit user, steak and a side of steak, in response to the question, employees of Disney, what is the craziest thing you've seen happen in the park,

and Jesse, I want you to read this one because I think you're going to have a good time with it. Grad night, 2007. Oh boy. I was walking out of the Space Mountain break room and saw one of my guy friends at the then honey I shrunk the audience. Oh boy. Looked like he was about to vomit. And one of my girlfriends who was laughing hysterically, apparently, in the dark of the theater, some girl decided this would be a good time to go down on her boyfriend. Oh no. About halfway into the show, one of the effects is this little tube that comes wiggling out of the seat to simulate mice running on your legs. This hit her throat. She bit down. And he was bleeding pretty profusely at Grad Night to remember. Whoa. Yikes, dude.

And there you have it. No idea if it's true or not. Since it's not exactly a type of injury, you're going to want to like report to anyone ever for any reason. But I will say that before I found this Reddit post, which actually sounds pretty believable, I had seen places where it instantly morphed into a story about her biting the penis fully off. But since I think but I think that since something like that would have almost certainly made the news like you can't bite your penis off and not get on the news. There's no way somebody's not going to bite your penis off at honey I shrunk the audience and you're not going to be all over the news. And there's no official record of anything like that happening. And trust me, I'm like a big Disney guy. I would notice

if something like that happened. I think this almost decade old Reddit post is the original version where it's just a much more believable 4D blood job. Like really research this. I'll put on honey I shrunk the kids. If anyone wants to come help me. Yeah, we can see what's going on. Yeah, you'll you'll get tickled in the throat by the mouse tails. I have not I just you know, you you made the joke up next. We hit one of the most creatively inspiring kinds of theme park urban legends. One we're going to revisit a few more times today, at least in terms of creepypastas, where entire abandoned theme parks come into the equation and serve as the setting for many strange happenings.

So let's look at two places that might embody this trope best with Discovery Island and Disney's River Country, both previously located in Bay Lake near the Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando, Florida. Also, I'm going to be describing some animal abuse briefly in the next few minutes. So skip ahead if that's not your vibe, except you guys can't skip ahead because you are sitting here watching I am where where where I guess if you guys don't want to hear that just disassociate till the end of the story. So there you go. All right. All right. So first we're going to talk about Discovery Island. If you want to think of Disney's animal kingdom park in Florida as Jurassic World pre-disaster, Discovery Island is like Jurassic Park post-disaster. Okay. So originally,

it was opened in 1974 on a historical natural island as an attraction called Treasure Island, which Disney operated as kind of like a low key kind of like pirate themed adventure island, where you could like check out wildlife and chill out. But then they renamed it Discovery Island when it became a full on zoological park. And unlike a lot of the more wilder touristy stuff that the other Disney parks had going on, it was a pretty sort of low energy, sort of low production value affair more about seeing animals and hanging out on a beautiful island in Florida, right? Which, you know, has its own, you know, set of alluring features, right? But in all the wiki articles about the park, references are made to some kind of animal abuse and unsanctioned

killing that occurred at the park. And people have gone wild with that online with creepypastas and stuff. But it turns out that unfortunately, it was absolutely true. In 1989, hundreds of wild black vultures landed on the island. And apparently, while Disney did secure some kind of permit to trap and safely move about a hundred of the vultures away from the island, where they were being put in unsafe positions because of how closely they were getting to the guests. And, you know, you can't really control what the guests do to wild animals. So it was starting to become kind of a big deal for everybody. And so they put in a request to move a hundred of them away. And Disney and five of their employees were charged with far exceeding

the limits placed on the action, with the ports of them firing rifles at hawks, beating vultures to death and destroying their nests with sticks and smashing the eggs of egrets and ibises. Over two months of investigations, officials further discovered that Discovery Island on a 100 bird permit had actually captured close to 200 of these black vultures and crammed at least 72 of them into a windowless, overheated shed with limited food and water in the amount of space normally meant for three vultures at once. And two of the workers at the pigeon loft had been illegally trying to capture owls, hawks, and falcons for who knows what purpose. It was the 80s, so it's hard to understand the logic of some of these things today and how people

thought they could get away with it. But apparently, according to this article I've been referencing from UPI at the time, all the state charges are misdemeanors and carry penalties ranging from jail sentences of up to six months to fines of $500, which is not very much, but that was in the 80s also. So it's a lot more than it's worth now. Those guys ended up being charged with 16 counts of animal cruelty. But unfortunately, all of the charges were dropped because Disney promised to clean up their act without even having to admit any wrongdoing, which is just insane to me. But 10 years later in the summer of 1999, the park closed down and within a year, all its wildlife had been shipped off to the new animal kingdom park, which also had a land inside of it that was

called Discovery Island and has just been sitting there and the actual island Discovery Island has been sitting there abandoned ever since in a worsening state of disrepair as it's repeatedly battered by hurricanes and other natural forces. And you can still pretty much just see it today from a lot of places in the resort, including the monorail, the shores of several hotels, anytime you go in the water and in that area. And so I also have this last story to share about Discovery Island from a Florida news website called Click Orlando, where Discovery Island is merely the setting. I'm going to have Mathis read this for me. And I think you'll all agree. It is a story that can only be described as peak lockdown.

It feels like a Cox and Cren d'Or, to be honest with you, but this is for Mathis. I know this was on Cox and Cren d'Or. Just I knew I fucking knew it was. Amazing, amazing. A man is facing trespassing charges after security found him camping on Walt Disney World's Discovery Island, according to the Orange County Sheriff's Office. Deputies said they were called to 4301 North World Drive Thursday after Richard Maguire, 42, was spotted on the Disney owned property, which is currently closed to the public. Orange County deputies searched for Maguire on foot by helicopter and by boat before finally making contact with him, according to an arrest report. When deputies told Maguire they

had been, when deputies told Maguire they had been using a loudspeaker to address him, he said he didn't hear them because he was sleeping inside one of the buildings on the island, which he referred to as a tropical paradise. According to the report, according to an arrest report, Maguire told deputies he was not aware that the property was off limits and that he had been camping there since Monday or Tuesday and plan to stay for about a week. I swear we talked about this on on the Disney hauntings episode of the record that I stand by the fact that this park was huge. Nome was in this park. This was a little last island. I'm with this guy. He should have been allowed to camp there. It was the height of the pandemic. He was just playing

Fallout by himself. He was just like Fallout RP server out in the fucking water by himself. And he was like, oh, sick. What's this? This must be DLC. Tropical Paradise DLC. Yeah. I think we did bring this up in the haunting episode. I would anyone would love this moment of just like I was on this island and I was living my life and like I was there for a few days. Water slides everywhere was wild. Again, this is the height of the pandemic. People like couldn't find toilet paper and stuff like people weren't like they couldn't afford to live in homes and shit. That's still happening. This guy, you're right. I got no problem with him staying there. Don't get me wrong. I just hilarious. I think it's hilarious that he called it a paradise. Like very fun. Yeah, that's that's

the best part. But what's really insane is that literally right next to Discovery Island in Bay Lake lies a second abandoned theme park, Disney's River Country, which has been described as being themed after a rustic old fashioned swimming hole of the type that you would see in a classic goofy cartoon. Can't imagine why that would have fucking failed. But just to switch things up, this time we're going to read the audience a little skit to explain the nature of the legends that spring out of this place. And then afterwards we'll get into the true story behind it all. Let me just send you guys the link. Everyone knows that summer is made for fun. What are you doing for fun this year? Lagoon is Utah's home for summer fun and is now open daily. Don't miss out on all the fun

and excitement you can only find at Lagoon. Purchase your season passport today and enjoy all the rides you love and Lagoon Beach, Pioneer Village and live entertainment all summer long. And don't forget, Frightmares in the Fall. See LagoonPark.com for information and to purchase your season passport today. Lagoon now open daily. For over 65 years, we have been part of your community and we work to make a difference for every member every day. And while our name is changing, our commitment to you is not. Find out how it's getting even better here. Welcome to You First. Visit us at youfirstcu.com. I'll be the narrator and I'll read all the stage directions. Jesse, you be the camera guy. Oh boy. And Mathis, you be the reporter. Okay. So this is

our reading. I got it for you. This is our reading of the River Country film audio reenactment by Mr. Scarypasta from www.creepypasta.xyz. A deep robotic voice speaks on the black screen. November 1st, 2001. Warning. The audio you are about to hear is classified and comes from a mysterious videotape discovered at an abandoned Disney park known as River Country. It is very disturbing. Even though the tape has been destroyed under unknown circumstances, the audio recovered will be very graphic and disturbing. However, due to age, the tape was damaged while the audio was recording and some of the audio has been cut off. Other than that, everything else seems fine. Pure discretion is advised. You have been warned. View in here at your own risk. Good luck. Anonymous.

Oh, it's from Anonymous, dude. They're everywhere. I love when they hack things. Okay, here we go. Hey, is it on? Camera's ready to go. Excellent. All right, let's get filming. Okay, we're rolling in one, two, three, action. Good afternoon, everyone. I'm and I'm here with my good buddy. We've come here to the Ben and Disney Park known as River Country in order to do some urban exploration and maybe even take some items left here by the ex-employees who used to work here. Yeah, we tried to enter the park early in the day for the dam security guards that the entrance wouldn't let us in. They kept saying the park reached its guest capacity limit, bastards. We tried to explain to

them why we needed to get in the park, but the dam guards wouldn't even listen. They just shoved us out of the way from the gate and then threatened to tase us if we didn't leave. Man, what a bunch of dicks. I swear, next time I see them. Forget it. Those guards aren't worth it. Even if they did shove us and threaten to tase us, only during these three hours a night, we could get past the park's security. All right, let's move out. Okay. All right, now that introductions are out of the way and everyone knows what we're doing. Let's get moving before it gets dark. This place gives me the creeps. All right, I'm behind you. Hurry up, man. Yeah, yeah, hold your horses. The cameraman runs and finally catches up to his friend. Now that you're caught up, let's go that down that

waterslide to get a better view of this mud hole. Sounds good. The cameraman and his buddy run up the stairs to the top of the old waterslide. We're almost there. But I can beat you to the top. Oh no, I'll beat you. The cameraman and his buddy race each other to the top and finally make it. Whoa, boy, that was fun. Yeah, I agree. Looks like you beat me. Now that we're here at the top of the slide, what do we do now? We film from above this angle, I guess. Okay, sounds good. Wow, this is such a wonderful view. I agree with you. I feel like we're about to make out right now. I feel like we're heading into a little romantic tension. Yeah, yeah, we're racing each other. Oh, we're looking at the stars together holding hands. Oh, you know, maybe. Like dudes who

are girls who become movers. The two coworkers aren't the shit out of each other. Can you imagine what it must have been like here before it closed down? Yeah, must have been fun here. Okay, watch me slide down. Both the reporter and cameraman laugh at the joke of sliding down the waterslide. Here, dude, let me help you. Oh, where's that hand going? Watch yourself, mister. Hilariously, the actual line is, hey, what are you doing? The cameraman pushes his friend down the slide. The cameraman runs to the bottom of the slide and across the bridge to where the small lagoon is back to the shore of the pond, hoping his friend would surface from the water and be there. I better go meet up with him. Suddenly, there's a loud splash, but no one

surfaced. Hey, what was that? There is dead silence and the cameraman doesn't hear from his friend. Dude. Dude, you there? The cameraman still doesn't hear from his friend and calls him again. Dude. Dude, come on. Answer me. I'm sorry. I pushed you in. The dedication to not giving this other guy a name is phenomenal. Even in the panic. It's all you can muster. It was lost. It was lost in the safe. The cameraman calls for his friend's name one last time. Dude, this isn't funny anymore. Where are you? That wasn't his name at all. Dude. There is no response and the cameraman becomes frantic and decides to get some help. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. This is bad. What if he drowned? I better get help. While on his way to get help, the cameraman stops by a small shallow pond, the

kitty area, and there is the sound of a faint cough coming from behind him. Hey, what was that? Who's there? The cameraman turns around and sees that it's his friend who was behind him. Oh, thank God. You're all right. I was so worried. The cameraman's friend doesn't respond to him and breathes heavily. Are you okay, dude? The cameraman's friend still doesn't respond and continues to breathe heavily. There is the sound of gagging and bodily fluids splattering and the man's breathing becomes raspy. Your face. What happened to your face? The cameraman's friend mutters something to him in a raspy voice. He says... Oh, shit. What? There is no hope. Where is it? I don't even see it. It's like not a line. It's

dumb. They didn't put... Oh, okay. I was like, wait, I looked. I swear. I didn't see my name. Yeah. Just say there's no hope in the water. There is no hope in the water. Perfect. What the fool? What the fool? The audio skips and cuts off, but then returns back to normal. Holy shit. Holy shit. Don't H-O-L-L-Y. Yep. L-L-Y-F. It's a God fearing cameraman. There are the sounds of running footsteps and heavy panting. Jesus Christ. What the fuck is going on? The cameraman is crying and running for his life.

What the fuck is going on? What the hell was that thing? That could have been my friend. It could have been. I have to get the hell out of here. The audio cuts off and skips again, but returns back to normal. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's like I'm in the player went to some shit. Please, God forgive me. I didn't know. I didn't know. The cameraman cries and pants heavily. Then there is the sound of wheezing and gagging, along with bodily fluids splattering down. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. It's a Christmas thing.

The cameraman screams loudly and the audio cuts off and skips a third and final time. When the audio returns to normal, there is the sound of a furnace and it goes quiet. A furnace? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what that's meant to imply. Okay. Yeah. But as you can see, this audio drama. Thank you guys. A round of applause for this. Thank you. Thank you very much. So I really fell into the role. I love that. You literally fell into the water. It's what you did. It's true. Yeah. So as you can see, this audio drama implies that on November 1st, 2001, the day before the park closed in real life for refurbishments that ended up being permanent

four years later after nothing happened. Allegedly, some extremely juvenile two-man production crew was at the park filming when they discovered some deadly entity in the water that caused the park to be shut down, likely in order to prevent an outbreak of underwater Cthulhu zombies. This is not what? Yeah. I appreciate that. I don't want Cthulhu to arise. Pretty sick. Cthulhu zombies, though. I guess. Yeah. Wouldn't that be Cthulhu worshippers? Yeah. I mean, I don't know. It's kind of an either or situation for Cthulhu. Yeah. I guess you're right. I want to make sure we're getting the actual monster correct. Obviously, in truth, this is not exactly inaccurate. Wait, what? You're telling me what I just read,

which was very clearly, relatively poorly written, is not real? Well, look, since it was probably just downturn in tourism caused by 9-11, which caused this park to finally be done, they closed for refurbishments for the season, and then 9-11 happened. And they were like, never mind. And yeah, exactly. They were just like, never mind. This park is from the fucking 70s. It sucks. It's named after old-fashioned goofy swimming hole. Let's just get rid of it. But the part about something deadly in the water was absolutely spot-on. As in 1980, just four years after River Country's 1976 opening, something terrible happened.

I have a quick blurb about it here from the Associated Press for Jesse to read, but I should warn our listeners that this is going to be another tough one to hear, and it involves a young child. So maybe skip ahead a couple minutes. If you're worried about it, Jesse, with that, here you go. Orlando, Florida, AP. A rare but deadly disease caused by an amoeba found in Florida freshwater lakes has claimed its fourth victim. A New York youngster who spent his vacation swimming at Walt Disney World's River Country. The disease? Amoebic meningocephalitis? Attacks the nervous system and brain, doctors say. It killed two Florida children earlier this

month and it appears to have been the cause of a death of another youngster. State health official said. The latest death was that of an 11-year-old boy who visited the Orlando area during the first week of August and swam at the water attraction at Disney World. Dr. John McGarry, director of the Orange County Health Department, said that guy. The child died after the amoeba entered his nose, went through the nasal passage and attacked the nervous system, including the brain, said Dr. Robert Gunn, state epidemiologist. The boy who was not identified by New York or Florida Health authorities died last Friday. Damn. Pretty fucking crazy. That sucks, dude. That's awful. Literally, the water just gets to a certain temperature.

These things can appear on the surface of the water. Total freak accident. Obviously, not a good thing. Disney eventually didn't allow people into the water anymore and they'd have signs up that said like the beaches for sunbathing only, that type of thing. Tangentials. Like my brother, when I was a kid, when he got from the lake that we used to go to meningitis and it almost fucking killed him. He almost died. Like he was just straight up. Eight years old just fucking almost kicked it. It's crazy. And how fast and how to know where fucking comes. I knew a guy who got Giardia when we went on a camping trip one time. Just fucking awful. Almost died. Yeah. You know, gotta watch that water source. But yeah,

you can see how somebody heard that story about something that is in the water that gets in your brain and fucks you up and turns it into zombies 20 years later, 2001. But I honestly think that the real story is even more disturbing than a fake story because that was just some kid that got wiped out. So scary. There's no way to know, you know, like it's awful. Yeah. And now for another pallet cleanser to wrap up black diamond challenging this time involving boobies. Yeah. This one. Yeah. This one just boils down to one question. Everybody knows Splash Mountain, right? Currently, it's finally getting a much needed overhaul to remove some outdated cultural depictions on the ride. But it's also probably the most famous log flume water ride with a giant drop

at the end in the entire world, partially because of its trademark feature, which is a photo op right at the beginning of the drop and a perfect and often very hilarious souvenir to commemorate your trip. Is that picture of you going right off the top of Splash Mountain? And Disney has replicated that in rides all over their park. Other places do this now, too. It's kind of like something you almost expect at theme parks, but Splash Mountain is the iconic one. However, some people have been said to engage in some certain behavior that would have maybe have you believe that instead of Splash Mountain, that they thought maybe the ride should be called Splash Mountain because Sploosh Mountain, which is no. Okay. No,

Splash Mountain because they're supposed to have shown their boobies to the camera just before the picture snapped. And apparently it happens a lot. This happens a lot, a lot, a lot. So next time you get to the gift shop at the end of the ride and your photo. No, next time you get to the gift shop at the end and your photo is mysteriously missing from the preview wall. There were titties on my photo. It's probably because somebody whipped out their boobies. What you're saying is don't look at the camera, turn around and look at people behind me. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You mean to catch a glimpse? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You're flashing. It looks like maybe a secret agent is making a signal or something. You don't know. It's probably

boobies. That's okay. Yay, boobies. You're in the Rivers of America now. It's all good. It makes sense. But I know what you guys are thinking. You're thinking, how do you know that this is true without evidence, Alex? Well, just so you know, the evidence is out there. There used to be a whole website for it. I thought you'd be like, I am the evidence. I tried. Here is a picture of my penis. So there used to be a whole website for this. I'm going to link you to an archive of this website right now. But I will let the listeners Google this for yourself if you want to find it because I'm not trying to. Jesus. I'm not going to try and publicly share someone's nudes for all of you to see like this. Yeah, these are real. Yeah. For the rest of you who don't need to Google it and

just want to take my word for it, please enjoy the guttural moans of my co-hosts as they explore this website. That guy's just got full on coverage going on that one. What does this one look like? Oh, did you just see? Oh, hey, this has nothing to do with it. Henry Cavill is in talks with Amazon to executive produce and star in a Warhammer 40K series. Dude, he's just, he's just trying to make all the things come true. God bless him. God bless him. Back to the titties on Splashbound. These are titties. Yeah, it's real. It's out there. This is Tittytown. It's out there. We're out here. I go find them if you want to find them. Question. And I just want to put this out there on both sides to just no one can see these except

for us. So I'm just going to like that. I think there's conspiracy going on here. And I just want to ask what it is only women in the front, the very front. No, no, no, that's not true. Wait, there's one in the back. Nevermind conspiracy debunked debunk conspiracy. We debunked your conspiracy, Jesse. You know what? That's why I do this show. Yeah, just so you can see. Yeah. Boobies. That's how we have you here. Yeah, free boobies. It's one of the most people in the front. And so I'm just saying. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's the best spot. If you're going to do flash photography Fridays or whatever it is, you want to be right up front. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that one. I also have seen pictures of like right here has no idea what he's missing

behind him. There's a great picture of four guys playing Smash on Splash Mountain where they've seen that TV and they have like four controllers and everything. There's all kinds of crazy stuff that people do. But yeah, that's the thing. It happens. And if you can't see your picture, that's probably why I'm not going to say probably why, but it might be why it is. Is a not zero percent chance. Yeah. But finally, with that, you've made it to double to double black diamond expert level. That was like regular black diamond. That was already very impressive. Yeah. Double black diamond expert level is where I'm basically just going to have you read like the people out there, like two of the more

conversation startery Disneyland creepypastas that are out there. Stories will be recognizable as set in a version of reality, but the specific details will be hard to swallow. Proceed with caution. But this time with the kind of caution you might use to stop yourself from being indoctrinated into a cult or Q piled if there's even a difference between those two things. Q piled. I like that. Yeah. Up first, we have a cracking story for Jesse to read for from Reddit user Allison Drake 666 on r slash creepypasta. If you don't know what it is, it's a small world is something you could probably get a very complete picture of if you just looked up a ride through of it. It was a ride originally created for the world's fair with a message of

world peace and its theme of tiny little multicultural dolls singing a very beautiful, but extremely repetitive song in lots of languages is kind of perfect for a creepy story like this one strange as it is. This story is called small world at Disney is not as nice as it seems. So this is for you, Jesse. Last year in May, my dad and his girlfriend decided to take us to Disneyland for my 17th birthday. It was a childhood dream. So I cried big happy tears. Little did I know that what I was about to go through wasn't as fun. We got there and the first ride was small world, of course. Okay, I don't know why that's anyone's first ride, but it's so far in the back of the park to be good. All right. Already I'm suspicious. Something every child has to see. I

thought it may be is nice for kids, but people my age could understand the great horror I had to go through. We sat down in a boat with two other families. The first round was amazing again. I cried because of the major childhood dream that came true. We asked to go again. It was about to close. Wait, what? He went through once and he cried. Right. It touched him. Just it was the first one. We went through it once and wanted to go again. It was about to close. All right. You know what? I'm not going to question any of this. Yeah. I cried because the major childhood dream that came true. We asked to go again. It was about to close, but they were willing to let us go through one more time. The lady smiled at us. Well, smiling. It was more like a weird sinister

smirk. The ride started to go again and the lady waved at us slowly while keeping the smirk. Was hell. All the dolls were placed somewhere else, not at all their own country. But this Swedish doll, I think she was from Sweden, could be Dutch. Go back to your homeland. Dolls, God damn, stay off my get on my land. She kept coming back. She was everywhere. The dolls were moving like they usually do. They were shaking their heads, but one arm was pointed towards us. The song played. It was just horrible. It was scary. But this isn't the worst part. We got out and the lady was still waving at the entrance. She worked at Disney. I assume she was wearing her uniform. We quickly sent we quickly went to the hotel and I went to one of the workers to tell

about this woman. Her name patch said Samira Willington. They said there wasn't anyone working there with that name. I said that she was there and that she maybe had sent and that they maybe had to send security. She seemed weird, very weird. The next day at Disney, we walked past small world. Samira wasn't there. I walked up to the worker and asked for Samira. He didn't know anyone with that name. He had some normal days at the park. We had boy, oh boy, we had some days at the park. It was fun until I went to the Tower of Terror alone. It was evening again. And we would leave the next day. It was the last ride again. I sat down not knowing it would get so creepy again. I heard someone humming softly. I knew the song. It's a small world after all. I saw Samira sitting next

to me still humming. I got goosebumps all over my body. I screamed that I wanted to get out. They let me out. Nice. I get goosebumps again as I'm writing this. I hear the song in my head, nonstop. Please. I beg you. Don't let your kids or yourself enjoy this ride. Please. I just realized something. My heart is pounding in my chest. I'm going to find a therapist right after this. Samira Wellington, small world. I could be crazy. I could imagine this, but it creeps me out. I believe small world is more than just a ride. Be careful. Whoa. I think that he's trying to say that Samira Wellington is like, it says small world. Like Samira Wellington is the same as small world. I'm not sure what the revelation is supposed to be there. Yeah, I don't either.

Just take it out right then. She's named after the ride or what? I don't know. SWGRO is the same. The question is, though, is the implication that the ride is like a devil? Here's the thing. All I'll say is if you all want to get like, I think I posted it there on my Instagram, notorious Cox. I think it's there. I'd have to go look, but one time I went to Disney, I went on small world and at a certain point there is this creepy ass looking son and it literally just says to you, it's a small world. It's a small and it like has deadly eyes and it like looks like a hallucination thing. I recorded the whole thing and put it up there. I think it's where I put it. And all I'm saying is it's a weird ride, but I don't know that it's a demonic,

evil ride that's like, I'm pointing at you. If anything, if they were smart, they would actually do that. The last ride of the night, all the dolls, it would be like a horror ride. The very last group to go. That would be amazing. Like only for Halloween season. Fuck around with it quietly. Well, I mean, okay, it begs the question. Is it more than a ride? Can the dolls really change, move around like they're alive? Are their children being trapped in this ride forever? Is this what the game fear is actually about? No one knows. No one knows for sure. Look at this thing. That's terrifying. That's horrifying. Holy shit, dude. It looks like it's trying to wipe my memory. Yeah. Is what it looks like. It looks like it's trying to take away my free will.

Oh, man. But I mean, I mean, no, it's no, it's not. I mean, I have a haunted doll specifically and it's done nothing. So I'm going to assume that the Disney world and land dolls are probably Let's just say no, it's not happening. Are you trying to say that creepypasta isn't real? Yeah. I mean, look, with with creepypasta has written this immaculately. Yeah, let's be bold and say it's a no. Holy shit. But there are, but there are a couple creepy details out there floating around on the internet about this ride that do at least lend some credence to the notion. According to an article from earlier this year from the sun dot co dot UK, which anyone could tell you is a very, very just a bastion of journalism. Right. A tiktok user, the mouselits

has revealed or at least resurfaced two quasi facts I've been hearing online for ages. I've never really been able to confirm this info from a verifiable official source, which is a problem that we'll get into a little bit later at the end of the next story that we read. But it's been repeated in forums again and again by people claiming to be cast members of the park by people who claim to know these information. Firstly, one thing people say is that in order to save power and effort each morning, having to reset the entire system, which would be a big power drain and re sinking the giant animated clock on the outside of the building with the real time of day and stuff like that. The animatronic dolls are supposedly meant to stay on all night,

moving and dancing just like they do in the day, except with all the music and lights turned off inside the ride building. It's a pretty creepy thing to think about, even if you're not like thinking in a paranormal way, it's just a creepy play. If you were in there, that'd be fucked up. Yeah, I would not be okay. Yeah. But even worse is imagining one of them watching you as you walk by, right? It's creepy. But what's even creepier than that is that allegedly, because the doll's hair is made of yarn, which stretches and sags as the water from the ride slowly moistened it over time, it creates an effect like the hair on the dolls heads is growing slowly at the rate of human hair mold on. Well, actually, the reason is because it happens so much that there are

several people online that I've seen who claim to have the job of actually going in and cutting that hair every once in a while with scissors overnight. I have no idea how they do that if the things are moving the whole time. But if you're out there listening and you have some knowledge about either of these things, please chime in on r slash Luminati pod to let me know, pump me up, set me straight. I don't care. I want to know whether they leave the robots on at night in it's a small world on whether or not anybody cuts the hair of the dolls, because both of those things seem very fucked up to me. Also, with respect to the idea of some people's souls somehow getting trapped in the characters on the ride or some shit like that, here is a completely true

story with no sinister overtones whatsoever. In the past, there was known to be a clown high up in a balloon in the Disney World version of the ride who was notable not only because he was the only frowning character on the entire ride, the only character who's not smiling. But also because in his hand, he held a tiny little sign that said help on it in red block letters. However, eventually he was replaced or painted over to be a normal happy clown holding a balloon like the first act of a fucking Doctor Who episode about a ride that eats you and puts you in the ride and takes away your free will. I don't know. The dolls aren't alive, probably. But here is a picture of that clown before and after real photo evidence. There is a clown,

a sad clown that says help in a balloon next to another clown that's smiling in that same balloon holding its hand. And then a picture too, and he has been replaced. He looks like he's been fucking body snatched, doesn't he? Yeah. He looks actually kind of scary in the second one. Everything is the same except they painted his face and got rid of his help sign. And his half of his hair is now flipped up instead of both of them being flipped down. Yeah. It's like he's smiling. It's very weird. So I don't know. Don't know if there's any sinister overtones of that at all. But it is weird that there was a clown balloon that was frowning that said help on it that eventually got painted over and smoothed

over with the veneer of smiling clown face. Kind of creepy. Just saying. I agree. And now we're here. The last thing I have for you today is the one that got away from us, the marble hornets or my dad's tapes of Disney urban legends. And if we're being real, it's probably the most dangerous and potent kind of urban legend of all, which is why it is a double black expert, a double black diamond expert. This is abandoned by Disney written by a man who goes by the name of Slime Beast. First of all, I want to have Mathis read through the first half for us. And then Jesse will tackle the second half because it's a lot to go through. And it's our grand finale. So some of you may have heard that the Disney Corporation is responsible for at least one real live ghost town. Disney

built the Treasure Island Resort in Bakers Bay in the Bahamas and didn't start as a ghost town. Disney's cruise ships would actually stop at the resort and leave tourists there to relax and luxury. This is a fact. Look it up. Disney blew 30 million on the place. Wait, did you say it's not? It's not. Okay. Disney blew 30 million on the place. Yes, that's 30 million dollars. Then they abandoned it. Disney blamed the shallow waters too shallow for their ships to safely operate. And there was even blame cast on the there was even blame cast on the workers saying that since they were from the Bahamas, they were too lazy to work a regular schedule. That's racist. That's where the factual nature of their story ends. It wasn't because of the sand. And it obviously

wasn't because foreigners are lazy. Both are convenient excuses. No, I sincerely doubt those reasons were legitimate. Why don't I buy the official story because of Mowgli's Palace? Near the beachside city of Emerald Isle in North Carolina, Disney began construction of Mowgli's Palace in the late 1990s. The concept was a jungle themed resort with a large, you guessed it, palace in the center of the whole thing. If you're unfamiliar with the character of Mowgli, then you bet then you might better remember the story, the Jungle Book. If you haven't seen it anywhere else, you'd know it was as the Disney cartoon from decades past. Mowgli is an abandoned child in the jungle, essentially raised by animals and simultaneously threatened and pursued by other

animals. Mowgli's Palace was a controversial was a controversial undertaking from the start. Disney brought up a ton of high price land for the project, bought up rather a ton of high price land for the project. And there was actually a scandal surrounding some of the purchases. The local government claimed eminent domain on people's homes, then turned around and sold the properties to Disney. At one point, a home that had just been constructed was immediately condemned with little to no explanation. The land grabbed up by the government was supposedly for some fictional highway project. Knowing full well what was going on, people started calling it Mickey Mouse Highway. Then there was the concept art, a group of stuffed shirts from a Disney company actually held a

city meeting. They intended to sell everyone on how lucrative this project was going to be for everyone. When they showed the concept art, this gigantic Indian Palace surrounded by jungles staffed with men and women in loincloths and tribal gear. Well, suffice to say everyone flipped their shit. We're talking about a large Indian Palace jungle and loincloths not only in the center of a relatively wealthy area, but also a somewhat xenophobic area of the southern USA. It was a questionable mix at that point in history. One member of the crowd tried to storm the stage, but he was quickly subdued by security after he managed to break one of the presentation's boards over his knee. Okay. Disney took that community and essentially broke it over

its knee as well. The houses were raised, the land was cleared, and there wasn't a damn thing anyone could do or say about it. Local TV and newspapers were against the resort at the beginning, but some insane connection between Disney's media holdings and the local venues came into play and their opinions turned on a dime. So anyway, Treasure Island, the Bahamas, Disney sunk those millions in and then split. The same thing happened with Mowgli's Palace. Construction was complete, visitors actually stayed at the resort, the surrounding communities were flooded with traffic and the usual annoyances associated with an influx of lost and irate tourists, and it all just stopped. Disney shut it down and nobody knew what the hell to think,

but they were pretty happy about it. Disney's loss was pretty hilarious and wonderful to a large group of folks who didn't want this place in the first place. I honestly didn't give the place another thought since hearing it closed over a decade ago. I lived maybe four hours from Emerald Isle, so I really only heard the rumblings and didn't experience any of it firsthand. Then I read this article from someone who had explored the Treasure Island Resort and posted a whole blog about all the crazy shit he found there. Stuff just left behind. Things smashed, defaced, probably ruined by the disgruntled former employees who had lost their jobs. Hell, the locals from all around probably had a hand in wrecking that place. People there just

felt as angry about Treasure Island as folks here did about Mowgli's Palace. Plus, there were rumors that Disney had released their aquarium stock into the local waters when they closed, including sharks. Who wouldn't want to take a few swings at some merchandise after that? Well, what I'm getting at is that this blog about Treasure Island got me thinking. Even though many years had passed since its closing, I figured it might be cool to do some urban exploration at Mowgli's Palace. Take some photos, write about my experience and probably see if there was anything I could take home as a memento. I'm not going to say I wasted no time in getting there because honestly, it took me another year after I first found that

Treasure Island article to get around to going up to Emerald Isle. Over the course of that year, I did a lot of research on the Palace Resort or rather I tried to. Naturally, no official Disney site or resource made any mention of the place. That had been scrubbed clean. Even odd, however, was that nobody before myself had apparently thought to blog about the place or even post a photo. None of the local TV or newspaper sites had one word about the place, though that was to be expected since they all swung Disney's way. They wouldn't be out there lauding their embarrassment, you know? Recently, I learned that corporations can actually ask Google, for example, to remove links from search results basically for no good reason. Looking back, it's probably not that nobody

spoke of the resort, but rather their words were made inaccessible. This is such modern day bullshit. I just want to point that out. As I grew up in the 90s with the Disney Channel, this is such like there was no evidence because Google removed it. I'm already irate, but okay, sorry. Yeah, yeah, I know. They removed it. So in the end, I could barely find the place. All I had to go on was an old as hell map I'd received in the mail back in the 90s. It was a promotional item sent out to people who had recently been to Disney World, and I guess since I had been there in the 80s, that was recent. Bullshit. Bullshit. I love this, guys. It's kind of just trying to plug some things in and making some weird claims. If you're at 2000s beyond

kid and you're like, wow, this must be real. I guess you could buy it, but anyone who grew up in the 80s and 90s are like, no, dude, Disney was on TV all. We would have known about this if this was real. I didn't really intend to hang onto it. It just got shoved in with my books and comics for my childhood. Sure. I'd only remembered it months into my research, and even then it took me another few weeks to locate the storage bin my parents had shoved it all into. So we remembered that his parents had shoved this into a bin and was like, that's such a weird claim, but I did find it. Locals were no help, as most were transplants who had moved to the beach in recent years, or old residents who just sneered at me and made rude gestures the second I managed to where,

managed to say where would I find mogulies. The drive took me through an inordinately long corridor of overgrowth, tropical plants that had run rampant and overpopulated the area mixed with the native species of the flora that actually belonged there and had tried to reclaim the land. I was in awe when I reached the front gates of the resort, tremendous monolithic wooden gates whose supports to either side looked like they must have been cut from giant sequoias. The gate itself had been gouged in several places by woodpeckers and eaten away at the base by borrowing insects. Hanging on the gate was a sheet of metal with some random scrap with hand-painted letters scrawled in black, abandoned by Disney. Clearly the handiwork of some past local or an

employee who wanted to make some small protest. The gates were open enough to walk through, but not drive, so grabbing my digital camera in the map, whose flip side showed a layout of the resort I set off on foot. The inner grounds of the place were just as overgrown as the entryway, palm tree stood untended and ragged among piles of their own coconuts. Banana plant similarly stood in their own stinking bug-riddled refuse. There was this sort of clash. There's no way. Wildlife would be all over the shit. They would be eating up all the bananas. There would be a pile of coconuts. I don't understand. It's abandoned by Disney, bro. Yeah, but abandoned by Disney. There was this sort of clash between order and chaos as carefully planted rows of perennial flowers

mixed with obnoxious tall weeds and stinking blackened mushrooms. All that remained of any outdoor structures were broken, rotting wood of various charred bits of unidentified material. What was most likely an information booth or an outdoor bar was now simply a pile of assorted debris chopped up by past vandalism ravaged by the weather. The most interesting thing on the grounds was a statue of Baloo, the friendly bear from the Jungle Book, which stood in a sort of courtyard in the front of the main building. He was frozen in a jovial wave toward no one, staring into an empty space with a silly toothy grin as bird shit covered whole swaths of his fur and vines ensnared his platform. I approached the main building, the palace, only to find the

outside of the building covered in graffiti where the original paint had peeled and chipped away. The front doors weren't just open. They had been taken off their hinges and were stolen. Above the front doors or the gaping maw where they had been, someone once again painted abandoned by Disney. So that's the end of part one of the story. And I just want to say the thing that's crazy about this, obviously, this is not a true story. What? Jesse's exactly right. Disney had an entire channel, I believe it was called Zoo Disney or something like that. Oh my God, I remember that. Holy shit. It was literally just a commercial for Disney. It was like a fucking, they'd show like movies and Disneyland shit all the time. If you don't

remember old school Disney channel when you had to like pay special for the extra thing, like, yeah, seriously, between every damn show was five minutes of advertisement for Disney parks. And there was no advertising for any actual product. It was all just Disney advertising, other Disney shows, Disney parks have been like, Oh, that was real. Because I remember I watched it every single day. Like, no way. This is would have been all over. So Mowgli's Palace never existed. Treasure Island never existed, even though Treasure Island is the name of the island that Discovery Island eventually became in another story that's not related to this. And is also in a bay, but it's not in the Bahamas. But the thing that was fucked up and the reason

that this is in the final double diamond black diamond expert is because when I went to verify elements of this story, I found corroborating evidence for every single part of it. I found people that said that they've been to the park. I saw I found people that said they worked there. I found people that said they remember it. I saw people that posted pictures of them going there. I found pictures of everything. I found pictures of the place in the Bahamas where they dredged the docks to be the docks of fucking Treasure Island. I found evidence of all of it. And I realized that fucking Mr. Mr. What's his name? Who wrote this? Slime Beast was riding a creepypasta. Slime Beast did something really genius. They found for all those things first and then built a story

around it. He just he's kind of slant slant details. He took like things from like that were kind of believable things that you've heard about Disneyland and kind of made them into like one sort of like MCU style Disney verse story, right? Which is cool from a storytelling perspective because it makes the story, especially if you're dumb or you're young and you don't remember what the 90s were like, like a pretty believable thing because you're not look it doesn't set off the alarm bells that the it's a small world story immediately does when it has really weird language and inconsistencies within the story. This one's extremely well researched and extremely clever, right? In a way. But the scary part is, is that nobody's willing to read about it and find out

that it's not fake. They will do the Googling that I just did. And then be like, that's it. I found articles about Disney's abandoned theme parks and it's like Discovery Island, River Country, Mowgli's Palace, Treasure Island. And I'm like, dude, those aren't even fucking real. Like what are you talking about? And like I said, same thing with the Tik Tok thing that in the it's a small world thing where they're saying these the hair grows and stuff. I actually don't know if that's true because in the in the back in the day day, people would write things on the Internet and they wouldn't have to verify them because if somebody said they fucking worked at Disneyland, it was probably because they did. You know what I mean? But now he told me. Yeah.

Yeah. And now you've got all these different ulterior motives and wars being played with information all the time. And so you're ending up with this crazy story that is now even though like I knew you guys were going to be like, there's no way this is true. There's absolutely no way this is true. But the thing that's even crazier in that I kind of want to shame anybody who believed this, unless you were like 12 years old or some shit, like five, right? But the second half of this story is a lot different from the first half of this story. I'm going to have Jesse read it for us now. Yes. Everyone knows that summer is made for fun. What are you doing for fun this year? Lagoon is Utah's home for summer fun and is now open daily. Don't miss out on all the fun and

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Let the chaos begin. It's like the end of Django Unchained. It's just like a different, it's a different situation. Yeah. From the rest of the director shows up and he's Australian for some reason and you know, yeah. I wish I could tell you about all the awesome stuff I saw inside the palace, forgotten statues, abandoned cash registers, a full fledged secret society of homeless bums. But no, the inside of the building was so stark, so bare that I actually think people had stolen the molding off the walls. Anything that was too big to steal counters, desks, giant fake trees, they were all resting amid this empty echo chamber that amplified my every step like a slow rat-a-tat of a machine gun. I checked the floor plan and headed to all the locations

that might seem in any way interesting. The kitchen was, as you'd imagine, an empty industrial food prep area with all the appliances in space. No expenses spared. Every glass surface was broken. Every door knocked off its hinges. Every metal surface kicked and dented. The entire place smelled like very old piss. Not sure how one would know very old piss, but like, I guess we kind of know like the dude didn't flush like apple juice, but there's like salt in it. Yeah. The huge freezer, not even remotely cool now, had a row upon row of empty shelf space. Hooks hung from the ceiling probably for hanging cuts of meat. And as I stood inside for a moment, I noticed they were swinging. Each hook swung in a random direction, but their movements were so

slow and small that it almost was impossible to see. I figured it had been caused by my footsteps, so I stopped one from swinging by clutching it with my fist, then carefully let go. But within seconds, it started to swing once more. Anyway, I moved on. The bathrooms were in much the same state as the rest of the place. Just like Treasure Island Resort, someone had methodically smashed each porcelain commode with coconuts or other implements. It was about half an inch of rancid, stinking stagnant water on the floor, so I didn't stay there very long. What's odd is that the toilets and the sinks and the bidets in the ladies room, yes, I went there, all dripped, or just ran freely. It seemed to me that they should have shut off water long,

long ago. There were plenty of rooms in the resort, but naturally I didn't have time to look through them all. The few I did peer into were similarly wrecked, and I didn't expect to find anything there. I thought there was actually a television or radio in one room, as I really think I heard quiet conversation coming out, though it was like a whisper, probably my own breathing echoing on the silence, or just another case of the sound of water blowing, playing tricks on my mind. This is what it sounded like. I don't believe it. Short unknown reply. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Your father told you. Unknown reply, or possibly just weeping.

I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous. I'm just telling you what I experienced, why I thought there might have been something running in that room, or worse, some vagrants who had holed up in there and probably would have knifed me. At the front doors of the palace again, I figured I hadn't found anything of note and then wasted the trip up. As I looked out the door, I noticed something interesting in the courtyard that I'd apparently missed. Something that would give me at least one thing to show for all my trouble, even if it was just a photograph. There as a lifelike statue of a python, maybe 80 feet long, coiled up and sunning itself on a pedestal right in the center of the area. It was almost time for the sun to start setting,

so the light fell upon the object in a perfect way for the photograph. I approached the python and snapped the photo, then I stood on my toes and snapped another. I moved closer again to get the detail of this face. Slowly, casually, the python lifted its head, looked directly into my eyes, turned, and slithered off the pedestal across the grass and into the trees, all 80 feet of it. Its head long disappeared into the woods before its tail even left the sunning spot. Disney had released all their exotic animals onto the grounds. Right there, on my floor plan map, was the reptile house. I should have known. I read about the sharks at Treasure Island. I should have known they'd done this.

I was dumbfounded. Just utterly stupefied. My mouth must have been hanging open for the longest time before I came back down to Earth and snapped it shut. I blinked a few times and backed away from where the snake had been, back towards the palace. Why not go to the exit? Alright. Don't listen, you're gonna ruin the story, Jesse. Even though I was totally gone, I still wasn't taking any chances and backed my way into the building. Took a few deep breaths and slapped my own face to get myself right in the head again after that. I looked for a place to sit down as my legs were feeling a bit like jelly at this point. Of course, there was no place to sit down unless I wanted to recline and

broken glass and dead leaf carpenter to haul myself onto a desk of questionable reliability. I had seen some stairs into the palace's lobby and decided to give it a seat there until I felt better. The staircase was far enough away from the front of the building to be relatively clean, save for startling accumulation of dust. I pulled a wedge of metal off the wall, which once again painted with abandoned by Disney motto I'd become accustomed to. I placed the wedge on the stairs and sat on it to keep at least somewhat clean. The stairway led downward, below ground level. Using my camera flashlight as sort of an

improvised flashlight, I could see that the staircase ended in a metal mesh door with a padlock. A sign on the door, a real sign read, mascots only, thank you. This parked up my spirits a little bit for two reasons. One, a mascots only area would definitely have had some interesting stuff back in the day. Two, the padlock was still in place. Nobody had gone down there, not the vandals, not the looters, nobody. This was the one place I could actually explore and perhaps find something interesting to photograph or wantonly steal. I had come to this palace essentially agreeing with myself that it was okay to take anything I wanted because hey, abandoned. It didn't take much for me to bust the lock, well actually that's wrong.

It didn't take much to bust the metal plate on the wall that the padlock was hooked to. Time and decay had done most of the work for me and I was able to bend the metal plate enough to pull the screws out of the wall, something nobody else had apparently thought of or hadn't been able to do at the time. The mascots only area was startlingly, was a startling and very welcome change from the rest of the building I had seen. For one, every second or third fluorescent light overhead was illuminated. Okay, even though they flickered and faded randomly. Also, nothing had been stolen or broken, even if age and exposure were definitely taking their toll. Tables had notepads and pens, there were clocks, even a punch-in clock on the wall

complete with filled out time cards. Chairs were scattered around and there was even a small break room with an old static filled television and long rotted out food and drink on the counters. It was like one of those post apocalypse movies where everything is left in the state of evacuation. As I walked the maze like sub-basement, hallways of mascots only area, the sights just became more and more interesting. As I went further, desks and table were knocked over, paper scattered and almost melded with damp floor. The large carpet of mold was slowly overtaking the real rotting crimson floor cover. Everything was just sort of squishy. Anything would disintegrated into mush when applied, even the least amount of force. And clothing items hanging on hooks and

one of the rooms simply fell to moist threads if I tried to unhook them. I know all about moist threads. One thing that annoyed me was that the light was becoming more sparse and unreliable as I went further into the dank suffocating depths of the place. Eventually, I reached a black and yellow striped door with the words character prep one stenciled on it. The door wouldn't open at first. I figured this was probably where the costumes were kept and I definitely wanted a photograph of that twisted stinking mess. Try as I might, whatever angle or trick I tried the door wouldn't budge. That is, until I gave up and started to walk away. That was when there was a slight popping sound and the door creaked open slowly. Inside the room was completely dark, pitch black.

I used the camera flash to look for a light switch in the wall by the door. There was nothing. As I made my search, I was jarred out of my sense of excitement by a loud electrical buzz. Rows of lights overhead suddenly flashed alive, flickering and fading in and out like the rest had passed. I took a second for my eyes to adjust. And it seemed like the light was going to just keep getting brighter until the bulb was exploded. But just when I thought it reached that critical stage, lights dimmed a bit and steadied. The room was exactly as I had pictured it. Various Disney costumes hung on the walls, fully put together like strange cartoon cadavers hung from invisible nooses.

There was an entire rack of glowing cloths and native clothes on hangers toward the back. What I found odd and what I wanted to photograph right away was a Mickey Mouse costume in the center of the room. Unlike the other costumes, it was lying on its back in the center of the floor like a murder victim. The fur on the costume was rotting and shedding, creating bare patches. What was even hotter, however, was the coloring of the costume. It was like a photo negative of the actual Mickey Mouse. Black word should be white, white word should be black, and normal is normally red overalls were light blue. The site was off putting enough that I actually put off photographing the thing until last. Took a picture of the costumes hanging on

the walls, upward angles, downward angles, side shots to show the entire row of frozen, putrid cartoon faces, some with plastic eyes missing. Then I decided to stage a shot, just one of the bedraggled, bedraggled, bedraggled characters heads on a slick, grimy floor. I reached for the headpiece of Donald Duck costume and carefully removed it so the thing wouldn't fall apart my hands. As I looked into the face of the wide eye, moldering head, I'd loudly allowed, what the, as I looked into the face of the wide eyed moldering head, a loud clattering sound made me jump with fright. I looked down at my feet and there between my shoes was a human skull. It had fallen out of the mascot head and shattered into pieces at my feet. Only the empty face and

lower jaw remained staring up at me. I dropped the duck head immediately as you'd expect and moved for the door. As I stood in the doorway, I looked back at the skull on the floor. I had to take a picture of it. You know, I had to for any number of reasons that may seem silly, but only if you don't think it through. I, I made proof of what had happened, especially if Disney was going to somehow make this go away. I had no doubt in my mind, right from the start, that even if this was gross negligence, Disney was responsible for this. That's when Mickey, the photo negative opposite Mickey on the floor started to get up. First sitting up, then climbing to his feet, the Mickey mouse costume or whoever was inside

stood there at the center of the room. It's fake face just started, I guess it's staring. It's fake face just staring directly at me as I mumbled, no, over and over and over. Realistic, you vary. No, no, with hands shaking, a violently thrashing heart and legs that once again turned to jelly. I managed to lift the camera and aim it at the opposite creature. Now quietly sizing me up, the digital camera screen display only dead pixels in this shape of the thing. It was a perfect silhouette of the Mickey costume. As the camera moved in my unsteady hands, the dead pixels spread, marring the screen or ever Mickey's outline moved to, then the camera died, went blank and quiet and broken. I raised my eyes once again to the

Mickey mouse costume. Hey, it said in a hushed, wait, hold on. Hey, it said in a hushed, perverted, but perfectly executed Mickey Mouse voice. Want to see my head come off? It started to pull off its own head, working its claws, tummy, pitera flashbacks, clad fingers around its neck with clawing and patient movements similar to a wounded man trying to pull himself free of a predator's jaws. That thing we all know. As it worked its digits into its neck, so much blood, so much thick, chunky, yellow blood. I turned away as I heard a sickening tear of cloth and flesh only cared about getting away above the doorway of this room. I saw the final message clawed into the metal with bone and fingernails abandoned by God.

I never got the pictures out of my camera. I never wrote the blog entry about it. After I ran from that place, I fled from my sanity. If not my very life, I knew why Disney didn't want anyone to know about this place. They didn't want anyone like me getting in. They didn't want anything like that getting out. And that is abandoned by Disney, the granddaddy of all creepyposses about Disneyland and possibly the reason Five Nights at Freddy's exists. Thank you, Slime Beast, for writing that story, your champ again. Has that closed the book on Disney like stuff for you to cover in the future? Again, none of that is true. Treasure Island didn't exist even though people said they worked at this place. People said they'd been there. That is how I feel when people are like,

I saw the aliens. I was there. You shut your fucking mouth. That's entirely different. You cannot conflate the two. I literally told you all the stories that I told you today to show you all the evidence that there is about this story that it used. This story uses all the information that I just told you and wrote a fictional story with it. And it's pretty fucked up that people like will believe fucking anything, right? So here's what I will say. Here's what I will say. Because of this and how easy it was for me to find stuff like this, it's hard for me to say that anything that we talked about today is true as a matter of fact, which leaves me with this chilling challenge to prove that anything that I said today is true without any official confirmation from

Disney themselves, which is scary because it means that Disney kind of has the final say on whether or not they did anything. Or that if anything happens, it's just absolutely crazy. It's absolutely crazy. Shout outs to anyone from Disney who has to listen to this show and make sure that you don't want to sue us. We try our best to be accurate. We try to be true. Sorry about the bad PR stuff, but true is truth. It wasn't my intention to do anything beyond that. But please, loyal cheluminots, use the ubiquity of abandoned by Disney's falsehoods as a cautionary tale when looking at stuff like this yourself. And remember that whenever you're looking at something mysterious and stimulating your imagination with it, you should also imagine a great big or was it after

everything you read. That's basically my whole purpose with this entire being on the show. It's like the MJ12 episode right before it. You know what I mean? Like both the same message under different different contexts. Let me know if you would like me to do another episode like this in the subreddit. I love you, patreon.com, slash chelminottypod and teaser for the mini soad. If you want to go be a patron right now, go listen to the mini soad that comes out right after this episode and find out why so many people are interested in the actors who play Aladdin in the parks and what's so special about them. I will reveal it on the mini soad. I'll see you there. Thank you. Thank you guys so much for watching and Alex said it all. We'll see you there. Well,

then we'll see you here next week. Bye everybody. Bye. Anyway, me and my wife were sitting outside indulging on our porch one night enjoying ourselves. I needed to go to the bathroom so I stepped back inside and after a few moments I hear my wife go holy shit get out here. So I quickly dash back outside. She's looking up at the sky. I look up too and there's a perfect line of dozen lights traveling across the sky. What are you doing for fun this year? Lagoon is Utah's home for summer fun and is now open daily. Don't miss out on all the fun and excitement you can only find at Lagoon. Purchase your season passport today and enjoy all the rides you love and Lagoonabeech,

Pioneer Village and live entertainment all summer long. And don't forget, Frightmares in the fall. See lagoonpark.com for information and to purchase your season passport today. Lagoon now open daily.