Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 185 - Christmas Cryptids Around the World (AKA Mostly Germany)

Episode Date: January 2, 2023

Patreon - http://www.patreon.com/chilluminatipod BUY OUR MERCH - http://www.theyetee.com/collections/chilluminati Special thanks to our sponsors this episode ButcherBox Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - http://www.youtube.com/user/superbeardbros Editor - DeanCutty http://www.twitter.com/deancutty Art Commissioned by - http://www.mollyheadycarroll.com Theme - Matt Proft End song - POWER FAILURE - https://soundcloud.com/powerfailure End Song 2 - DeanCutty - Theme Remix Video - http://www.twitter.com/digitalmuppet

Capella University is rethinking higher education. With their game-changing flex-path format, you can earn your degree on your schedule, so you can fit education seamlessly into your life. Imagine your future differently at capella.edu. Hello, everybody. My name is Mike. I'm one of your... Wow, I almost opened like a YouTube video. I've been recording YouTube lately,

and I haven't done that in so long. Hey there, gamer guys and gals. It's me, Raptor. Sorry, it has been so long since my last upload. My mom is in the other room, and I have to be very quiet. Welcome, welcome back to the Shulum Naughty Podcast. Episode 185, as always, I am one of your hosts. You know, today I'm just going to be Michael Martin, as always.

But today, I am joined by none other than the Jeff Goldblumen Will Smith of LA. Whoa, we did a little weird, a couple of weird ones before. So let's get back into something. I didn't want to do a nice chill one like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, we're in that weird spot between Christmas and New Year's.

Mathis, have you seen Independence Day? Yes. Okay, then it's, you know what? I'll allow it. I saw it in theaters, and then we had it on VHS. All right, my question for you, Mr. Fosyani. Yeah. Have you seen Independence Day? Are you? Everyone's seen it.

That movie is like, it's certainly a classic something. Are you Will or are you Jeff? And see, in a long time ago, back in 2020, before the slap, I would have said that you were, without a doubt, the Will Smith and I was the Jeff Goldblum. Now, I would say we're both Jeff Goldblum. Good answer. Will Smith's dead to us. Good answer.

Good answer. Science over war, world peace forever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good answer. I like it. All right, we're stuck with two Jeff Goldblums. You know what? You're not stuck with two Jeff Goldblums. We're blessed with two Jeff Goldblums. I mean, only one of us here has gotten to hang out with him

and maybe arguably pretend that you're his friend. So. Dude, loved it. Big fan. Big fan. Have you introduced him as your friend, Jeff Goldblum yet? You text him all the time, like, hey, what up, Jeffy? How you doing? Yeah.

Yeah. He probably doesn't remember. What'd he call you? What would he call you? I can't remember. Jess. He gave you like a nickname, didn't he? It's just my name. He just called me Jess. Oh, okay.

He didn't like say anything weird. Yeah. No, yeah, all right. He just called him Jess. He called him J-Sex. He called him J-Sex. You got to hang out with Jeff Goldblum while he wore leather pants, even.

That was a wild trip. I feel like no one told him he was going to do that. I felt for that man. He was like thrust upon. So like, I'm going to sit here for how long and play Jurassic Park, the computer game that I don't care about at all. I also want to shout out Michael Martin.

Hello, it's me. What? He's just, you know. He's dropping the, he's dropping the, he's dropping the SN. He's just trying it on, you know what I'm saying? The SN? The SN? The screen name.

You're not, you said, I'm Michael Martin. You said, I'm, you know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. Well, well, well. You didn't get on me for being called Jess. All right, Michael Martin. You guys said I'm Mike. It's I'm one of your hosts, Mike Martin.

Now you just say Mike Martin, not Michael Martin. I don't say Mathis on this podcast. Why are you, why are you informed? Why are you, why are you Michael today? That's always been that, dudes. You guys are just only noticing it now. No, no. You introduced yourself.

I've never said my name is Michael. Because I told you, because like, I don't know why today I went with Michael Martin. I don't know why my brain made that jump. Michael Martin does sound kind of like a guy presenting a case, like a litigation. Yeah. Okay.

But what if I told you I'm Michael Martin, Jr. Does that change what I am? Am I still a litigator? Now you're like a, like a folk painter. All right. I'll take, I am a junior. I'm a junior. You only paint landscapes,

but you always have the same woman in every landscape. Yeah. Like just like, woman or is she like always like very visible? Oh no, she's hidden in some. Yeah. She's like, she's like, when how Hitchcock puts himself in all his movies.

Yep. Yep. You're like the M. Night Shyamalan of paintings. In 1998 and an episode of Antiques Roadshow, one of your paintings was valued at $6,000. Oh, I'll take it. That's one that I ever expected any of my art to be worth. In 2022, it's still $6,000.

He died during the civil war when he accidentally shot himself with the rifle. Yeah. He accidentally shot himself with the rifle through his balls. And then he got his wife pregnant with the, by hitting her in the belly with his, his bullet that went through his balls.

People said it couldn't happen, but it was the first case that proved it. Yeah. Yeah. That's why everyone thinks you could get pregnant from a toilet seat. It's true. Yeah.

And speaking of things that people think are made up, but maybe aren't, head over to patreon.com slash Chilimanati pod where you can actually sign up. You really can. This is not a joke website. You can go there, you give us money and you get stuff in return. That sounds like a joke website.

I'm not going to lie. It is a joke website. That's the new slogan is a, it's not a joke website. That's how it goes. You can get ad free episodes. You can get like a 15 to an hour long mini-sode after every episode. They're really fast.

They're mini-sodes. The past four of them have been over a half hour each. I think two of them were over 40 minutes. They were to fucking regular episodes. When we do finally, yeah. When the compilations finally catch up to those, that's going to be a chunker, bros. They're only going to be able to have like two.

I'm not going to put a two hour episode of mini-sodes out there. It's going to be a chunker. Although some quality is a little bit better than others. Admittedly. Admittedly. We always bring our S tier game. Oh, we bring an S tier. And sometimes you go on a 25 minute rant

about like ridiculous stuff, you know, whatever. Yeah, yeah. That sounds like the podcast to me, baby. Yeah. The podcast. Let's speak in a witch. Let's get to casting. Sign up for our Patreon.

It's not a joke website. It's true. It's not. Okay. Yeah, boys, we're in that weird time period right now of like after Christmas, before New Year's, everybody's feeling kind of, you know, a little lazy, still a little relaxed.

Maybe some people don't even go back to work. And I could have done that. You know, I could have said, you know what? We're not going to do an episode, mini-sode compilation. But I said, no. Wow. We're going to do an episode. And here we are.

But we're going to keep it light. We're going to keep it fun. Hero. Today, we're going to take a look at some. I have 10. We might do a little more. But 10 of the weirdest Christmas slash New Year cryptids that exist.

Specifically New Year cryptids? Mostly Christmas, to be fair. Mostly Christmas cryptids. All right. All right. They operate until January 1st. And then they leave. So, you know, we've got some weird ones.

I think Jesse, I'd be curious how many of these you guys know. Jesse, I know you know at least one of these. I think you did a Cosson Crandor on there. Is it Santa for all points? Santa's not on there. I'm going to blow some fucking minds. I'm going to blow some fucking minds. Is it the Yule Cat?

Santa has origins prior to being called Santa Claus. So. Santa Claus? No, we're not going to do Santa. You did pick. You did hit on one slash two there with the Yule Lads, though. We'll talk about the Yule Lab. I know about the Yule Lab.

The Cranky's going to be on the list. Cranky? Well, yeah, he's actually the first one on the list. No, the Cranky's. The much more famous. Oh, no, no, Cranky's. I just did Cranky. Like, Cranky's.

Christmas is the Cranky's? Apparently, like, the ones we did last week, the. I can't remember the name of the two dudes anymore, are like mega famous. And one of them was in Drop Dead Fred, which, like I said, I've bizarrely seen. What? Yeah, remember the two English actor duos

that we talked about last week and one of them was dead? We got roasted on the forums about, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They were like, they don't know them? Rick Maillol. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you, Dean and Aide Edmanson are our, thank you, producer. Yeah, they are apparently very famous and.

I don't know why we're expected to have this, like, extremely British knowledge. I just don't have it. I wish I did. You did. I don't know why we were the Cranky's. Well, I don't I don't know why anybody expected me to know that even Dean didn't know the goddamn Cranky's.

We should have had the Cranky's at Coxconn for the last one. We should have had a lot at Coxconn. All I'm going to say is, we should have a lot at Coxconn. We should have a lot at Coxconn. Benjohn.com slash Chulmanepot. We should have had a lot at Coxconn. All I'm saying is, we can't expect to be expected to know it, but we have come on here and been like,

rough, rough, twi, and dive. So really people expect us to know all sorts of stuff. You know, but I don't even know what that reference is. That's to tell you. It's just British TV. It's like a British TV show about weird animated animals. The only British TV show I have seen is Doctor Who and the QI show at at Alex's house.

That's it. That's it. That's all I've seen. You are the weakest link. Goodbye. Is that count? Because it came to America. You didn't watch British episodes of the weakest link. No, I did not. No, but she is British. So that's true.

Like Toast of London, like those kinds of like, have you ever seen I.T. crowd? None of that? No, basically is Matt Berry. Have you ever just like, you know, wait, I have seen the British office. That's not Matt Berry, but like, OK, that's actually surprising. I saw that first before America office.

I'm actually that's actually very surprising. Yeah, I liked it quite a bit. It was quite good. I saw it in high school, weirdly. OK. OK. But that's today's not about that. And today isn't about that. The Majestic 12 documents might be real. And we'll talk about that in the actual minisode,

because that's insane. You know, we got we got a list to go through. The first one's going to be one that we've already talked about. So we'll do it very, very quickly. And that's obviously none other than Krampus. We did an episode 19, I think, is our Krampus episode. If you want to feel like how long this podcast has been going. Four years ago, we are one month away

from our five year anniversary in February, which is fucking nuts to me. You know how we can tell we were bored in February five years ago? The podcast. OK. OK. Diamond, diamond, diamond. Yeah, yeah, there was no OK from you, Alex. This is Diamond Diamond. That's Jesse's first response was how often I was like, just once every two weeks to start, man,

we'll see how this goes first. And now you're stuck. Now you're in 185 episodes in with no end in sight. The tunnel just keeps getting deeper and darker. You know what? I like it down here. It's cozy to honestly. I love it a lot. So obviously, if you don't know Krampus is he's basically a goat like

looking demon from mythology, Germanic mythology, specifically, who shows up at Christmas time not to give kids presents, but to pick them up, put them in his bag and spank them with a bunch of sticks. Usually the shit out of them, beat the ever living shit out of them. People still celebrate Krampus all over the world today. People dress up as him and do all these things. Celebrate. Is that the right word? They're not like, we love the Krampus's vibe.

We appreciate what he does. Well, I think a few of them now, other than scaring kids, they do give out like candies and stuff at the end before they go away. You know, they they they are terrified Krampus. Yes, they gentrified Krampus a little bit. Yep. And they've come to smacks to shout at one bad kid and throws the other kids a bunch of fucking candies. But they have to watch the bag to get smacked. Yeah.

Out of the three of us, who would have been the one to get B? Me. Let's not pretend. All right. I like. All right. I agree with that answer. I'm a good boy. Yeah, I got my Sega Genesis the year that I asked for it because I was so good the whole year. That's all my dad gave me a Sega Genesis that he bought out of some guy's car for a hundred bucks.

My parents told me I had to wait for a super. They were like, a super Nintendo is coming. Your uncle read about it. So I had to wait two years for a super Nintendo. Your uncle that works at Nintendo. I don't. I did find out later. My uncle was like a hard. I learned about Warcraft for my uncle.

I watched him play Warcraft orcs versus humans. I was like, it's his fault. He was a big nerd, except he's not at all. He was like, you know, he then dictated the rest of your life from that moment on. Orcs versus humans. Oh, I'm so hyped about cataclysm. Yeah, that was it, really.

We we did an episode on Krampus, like I said, a long while ago in that we look a little bit deeper into the origins of Krampus. So go listen to that. But we also then put the theory that he might it might be an alien also because that's really, I had no rules on the kind of episodes I was going to do. I was just back then it was a crazy show idea. Yeah, today way more organized.

All right, way less crazy. But yeah, that's that's Krampus. I he's a he's a cool dude. I like Krampus quite a bit. All right, let's move on to the next one. Whoa, you can't say Krampus beats children. Pretty cool, dude. Pretty cool, dude.

I have him at my Christmas. I have nothing to fear. Goodbye. Exactly. I have nothing to fear. Goodbye. The only people who are afraid of Krampus are the people who got problems. You know what I'm saying? I just watched our producer like lose his soul for a moment. Unless that was fun.

So the next one we're going to talk about is one I had never heard of. And I'll be curious if you boys did. Frau Perkta. Frau Perkta, the Christmas wit. Perkta? Perk, P-E-R-C-H-T-A. I'm assuming that's how you say it. Perkta. Is that the German name for Elsa from Frozen?

Uh, yes. Good joke. You got him. You got him. He was like, I don't know. Thank you, guys. I have seen bits of Frozen. Patreon.com slash ShulmanatiPod, please. Help us out. We support the show.

It's not a joke website. Please go. I want you to know this. I didn't know who this was. I went to go Google it. And the very first line on Google is, don't f with Frau Perkta. Got it? What are you? I don't know who this is.

What are you about to tell us? Frau Perkta. I'm about to tell you here. Terrifying Christmas witch. Oh, shit. This comes off of... Yeah, this is... This is actually your...

I think you're looking at the source of this, of my, like, bulk of information here. Why does she look like this? Burrowsofthedead.com. Thank you very much. Frau Perkta isn't as well known as Krampus, obviously. But this Christmas time, goddess slash witch thing,

she's still kind of scary as shit. She's a staple in the Alpine regions of southern Germany and Austria. Where is Krampus from? Oh, Germany. He's German. He's Germanic as well. Germans. Germany and Iceland, dude.

What's going on? Those are the two countries we look at today and go, what's wrong with you? Is everything okay? They're in touch with the fucked up shit in their souls in a way that we are not. And I have to look up to them for that. Like, Frau Perkta, real talk.

She looks like the grandma of one of the blockheads from Gumby. Terrifying. And that fucking Rasputin. It looks fucked up. It's terrifying looking. She looks like the vacuum from the brave little toaster. It's fucked up.

I don't know what to tell you. Oh, my God. It's fucked up. I have seen that movie so many times. That movie is horrifying. It's actually genuinely scary. It is. It's a scary fucking movie.

That movie is so scary. According to the book Old Magic of Christmas written by Linda Ridesk, Frau Perkta was also known as Berkta or Bertha and has also been called Spinstubenfrau. Spinstubenfrau? Spinstubenfrau or Spinning Room Lady is what it translates to.

She's usually depicted with a beaked nose made out of iron, dressed in rags, carrying a cane sometimes, and generally resembles a decrepit old crone. But this crone is a dangerous lady as she carries a long knife hidden under her skirt at all times. Oh, shit.

She's the fucking monster from Don't Look Now. Yeah. Imagine the next episode features you. Venture hand-in-hand through scenic red rock landscapes and discover breathtaking exploration. In Kanab, Utah, fall in love with small-town charm and let adventure reignite your romance. Find picturesque lodging, take a stroll down Center Street,

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Epic red rock cliffs, unreal wildlife and unbelievable coral pink dunes. Because when you vacation in Kanab, you'll hit the jackpot every time. Find your next adventure at visitsouthernutah.com. She also bears a resemblance to the Scandinavian goddess Friga, and both of them share one obsession, spinning specifically and domestic neatness generally.

So spinning is like spinning yarn, you know, thread, that kind of thing, not like spinning in a room. When I originally read this, I was like, what do you mean? She was just like... Records? No, I pictured her in a room just spinning in circles and I did not understand what they meant. It took a few weeks.

DJ Frau Perkto! She's like exercising hard. She pulls in guest DJ Shaq as he walks in. I'm a police officer! She's a pretty judge-y character about the state of your home for someone who also kind of just dresses in rags. And legend has it that you'd better get all your flax spun by the 12th night, which is January 6th.

Yo! As I was saying, she goes into January. Anyway, quote, for when the Christmas season was over, it would be time to set up the big upright loom at which time you must have enough thread to warp it and start your weaving. And what's Frau Perkto's punishment for those lazy ladies who haven't finished all their weaving?

Quote, in Germany, Austria and Switzerland, there were numerous tales of Frau Perkto trampling and even setting fire to the half-spun fibers. So she just ran in, knocked it over, stomped all over it and sometimes was like, you know what, fuck you extra and burned it. I don't think I like Frau Perkto very much. I feel like she is made up to keep women in line, which is not, which I don't like.

Well, you might be a bad vibe. You might be wondering what she's going to do if not only is your flax not spun, but your house is not clean because she loves a clean house. I imagine she's going to stab me with their fucking knife. And also, what if you forgot to leave out her traditional bowl of porridge for her? This is the most German shit I've ever,

like it is like delicious cookies. This is like multiverse Santa. This is like Santa's of the multiverse. Well, this is instead of... Tell me at the end of this, like, yeah, she's, I would put her for multiverse 666, all right? Yeah. Because, yeah, sure, stomping on your, you know,

thread is garbage and setting it on fire extra mean. But if you leave your house dirty and don't leave out her porridge, she'll rampage through your whole house and by the end of it, she'll smash into your room, disembowel you and replace your guts with rocks and straw. So first off, that is... That is like a true detective season.

But also, that is actually 100% right. This is a cautionary tale to women to be like, you better clean, you better spin, you better not cause any trouble, or else you'll be disemboweled. That's exactly what this is. It's crazy. Don't make any noise, clean up your place, or we'll cut you all the time.

Land porridge ready to go at any moment. I don't want to see salt even near it. Other legends have her in association with the legend of the Wild Hunt as well, saying that she flies through the night sky attended by an army of lost souls, including demonic looking Perkton, her army of servants who are visually nearly indistinguishable

from what we know as Krampus. So she flies around things like Krampus. This is like Grendel and Grendel's mom? Yes! Let's throw this out there. There's like a men in black style agency, funded by the patriarchy, and they want to keep ladies in line.

The queen is Frau Perkta and her agents all look like Krampuses. And the Krampuses have a side gig where they spank little kids in sacks because they're demons from another realm. They have a side gig. They need some money. That's how they gas up. The monsters need the screams from the kids in Monsters Inc. So if we use that science, you can say that the Krampuses are the soldiers of Frau Perkta

and we need Dr. Who to save us, and that's it. Here's the thing. I love that. I love that it's like, oh yeah, Krampus is out there in Germany causing trouble, but it's not Krampus got to worry about. It's Krampus' mama. Oh, I love the hierarchy of like...

We got like a whole fucking story being written before. Oh my god, yeah, this works like Cloverfield. I'm also going to... I'm going to send you a quick screenshot here of another creature that is sometimes associated with her in stories, though they're not like very commonly, but occasionally. And these are called the Stregel. There you go.

That sounds like a cookie. It sounds like a delicious cookie. In many places, such as Switzerland. Hey! All right, if you want to know... I'm just going to read right off of this. Imagine Alex Fosiani with horns. Imagine I was...

Oh no. Highly covered in fur. Imagine I was hired to train Hercules to be the best that he could be. And... That's your voice by Danny DeVito. And I'm voiced by Danny DeVito. Oh my god.

Except I'm also like half Ferengi for some reason. Yeah, you do got a Ferengi vibe. You're not wrong. This is also related to her? Yeah, sometimes they're seen right... Like she rides with them as like pets and stuff. These are her little minis. So this is like the majestic 12 of Christmas

is what we're looking at here. So these guys are seen in Switzerland and Perk the rides with a throng of demonic looking helpers known as Stregel. They're seen with Perk the... How big are they? I don't know. They look tiny to me.

But these are basically the pets of the Krampuses. Wait. So Krampuses have Pokemon is what you're telling me? Before you interrupt me let me just lay it out real quick. So Frau rides with Perk the who are the things that look like Krampuses. And these are the things that are known

to ride with the Perk the. They ride a throng of demonic helpers. Like the Perk have these things in throng so I'm going to imagine they're not like super big. I'm going to imagine that they're on like Chewbacca style bandoliers across. They pick one off and throw it like a grenade at someone? Yeah.

They just rolls out and just goes. These little fuckers love to partake of the feast offerings that are left out for them on Christmas by people hoping for Perk's blessing of wealth and health in New Year. Just chowing down on porridge. Yeah, literally. And in some places these guys get to dole out

themselves and aren't terribly discerning as they rob all bad children and tear them to pieces in the air. What? I like that she's like delegating responsibility. You guys have got a whole kingdom of creatures she runs. It's hilarious.

So you're telling me there's no way to tell where Frau Perk it was on January 6th? No, we can't tell you. We don't know. It was the final day. It was the final day. Perhaps the White House didn't leave out the bulge. That guy with the horns was really... Oh, he was one of the Perk's.

Maybe it was a Krampus. Or he was a straggle maybe. He could have been a straggle too. That's true. He said he couldn't eat because he was a vegan or some shit. Some victim noise. That's all I remember.

But I just want to say also during the topic I saw Krampus between last week and this week and that movie was Mid. It was okay. I felt like a lot of lost potential was had. It was a lot of building

to some cool-ish scenes. Some really cool creature designs and then it was over. I think that movie has more potential the bigger your own imagination is. Yeah, maybe. How willing you are to accept the... There's so many things that could have done with that. The one in the movie, does it dress like Santa?

Does it wear a Santa outfit? The reveal of him at the end is he's like paying looking Santa like a mummified version almost. It's like all withdrawn and shit and he's got horns. He looks fucking cool. Do you think Krampus wears Santa a lot? I mean, yeah.

No, I don't think he wears Santa garb often. I don't think he would be. I think of him on media. You know how people draw the moth man and little green men all the time? I feel like when people draw the Krampus he's dressed like Santa most of the time. If he's smoking a doobie, he's also dressed like Santa.

He's like standing there waiting for Santa and then he turns around and he's like like that kind of thing. Yeah. He looks like the Chupacabra dressed like Santa. He looks like dead ass. And just so you're aware, the army of souls that follow us in the sky are the souls of unbaptized children.

Well, there you go. So these things are like pro-Christian for some reason? They're like, we won't touch them if you bless them with the water of the god. The one true god who we believe in. Yeah. Legend has it.

If you hear the wind and thunder roaring and rumbling through the mountains on Berkthal knights you're really hearing the sound of Perkta leading the wild hunt. I'm sorry. What was that? What was that last bit? So the whole thing, legend has it. No, no, no, I'm sorry.

Berkthal knights. V-E-R-C-H-T-L knights. Berkthal knights. In more modern times she's kind of more known as Mother Hall who's a winter goddess whose name means shining or bright. So again, they're gentrifying her.

Her association is with Epiphany or the shining night on which the Star of Bethlehem shone down. Her dual nature is expressed in the fact that there are both evil or ugly Perkton and pretty Perkton both of whom you might find in a typical Perkton lough

or Perkton run in the Alpine regions of Europe. The pretty Perkton are all well and good, but honestly the evil Perkton are way cooler looking overall. There's some weird overtones. This is how the tall whites are like low-key racists.

Some people are ugly and they're worse objectively than pretty people. Can we get a movement to bring back Old Frow Perkta back and not this nice Mother Hall version of her? I want the guy who starts off the special edition Jabba's Palace theme song.

I'm looking for it. I need to get on the internet right now and write the people making the next Witcher game and be like, this is a quest line. You gotta get the scene there, man. You fight one of the dudes and then it's like, oh, but there was a mother. Like, oh, come on.

Look at guys running around. That's perfect. That's super great. Well, that's our first creature. There you go. That's Frow Perkta. Next up is one that you may have heard of called the Bellsnickel. Do you know what the Bellsnickel is? You said May, but I...

The reason I say May is because fans of The Office may recognize it as the person that Dwight dressed up as in one of the mid-seasons, like five or six or something. After my time. And he dressed up as the Bellsnickel for the holidays. You can take a look at this thing. He's the guy who wears like...

He's got twigs in his hair and he's all kinds of weird looking. He's a crotchety, furclad Christmas gift-bringer figure in the folklore of the Palatinate region of Southwestern. You guessed it, Germany, along the Rhine, the Saarland... They got like different traditions in each house.

Yeah, they got so many Christmas people. Time out. Time out. Time out. I just... I'm so... Every one of these is just another version of Alex. Look at this photo. It's another version of Alex. This is not good.

This is how Alex wrapped in a fur coat kind of vibe. How come all of them are like... Alex's perfect smile. I don't like that half of them are in blackface, guys. What's up with that? What do you want? This guy's not in blackface, is he? No, why? Like, about half of the ones that I'm seeing are in blackface.

Oh, I'm not looking at one that's that. I don't know. Oh, that's soot. Cause it comes down the chimney. Oh, yeah, okay, yeah. What are you, the fucking Dutch government? Are we trying to... Are we realizing that we started a podcast with a cryptid who just over time has had to change his identity? If there was ever a cryptid, Alex is a cryptid.

100%. I'm no more cryptid man. He literally just did the smile. It's not how identical that looks when you do that. It sucks. It's like crazy, dude. Someone just saw you in their visions and drew you. It's incredible.

All right. The bells nickels, a crotchety fur clad Christmas gift bringer out in that area, I told you about. Germany along the Rhine, the Saraland, Audenwald area of Baden-Wuttenberg. The figures also preserved in Pennsylvania Dutch communities

and Brazilian German communities. The bells nickels related to the other companions of St. Nicholas. Again, multiple companions for Santa out here in German speaking Europe. He may have been based off an older German myth, Nekt Ruprecht,

a servant of St. Nicholas and a character from Northern Germany. Unlike those figures though, bells nickel does not accompany St. Nicholas, but instead visits alone and combines both the threatening and the benign aspects which in other traditions are divided between St. Nicholas and the companion

figure. This guy shows up, beats the shadow of your kid and then gives him a playstation. Yeah. And he's wearing questionable face makeup. Bells nickels a man wearing furs and sometimes a mask with a long

tongue, which we've seen. He looks like that's what he looks like. He really does. That's an amazing way to straight up. That's what he would describe him. The mask with a long tongue, I find that fascinating because that's also seen on I've seen in modern crampus, I would call it celebrations,

but like, you know, festivals or wherever and just like that same mask with a really long tongue. Yeah, I know the one. He is typically a ragtime timeout. Yeah. This is the most important thing you've ever so we're all aware of the amazing Kurt Russell film, the Christmas

Chronicles. Well, you clearly aren't aware of the sequel that came out in 2020. Christmas Chronicles 2 or whatever was called the enemy, the villain of that movie is the boy from Deadpool 2 and his name, he's

the bell snickle. He's Bell Snickle. That's hilarious. He's the bell snickle. I never even heard of the first movie, so I don't fucking know. The best part is, is he's wearing a leather jacket and he just looks like a young kid in a leather jacket. They really went all out. Which is the bell snickle. Yeah, the bell snickle. He's not a typically very ragged and disheveled man

wearing worn, wears torn tattered and dirty clothes and carries a switch in his hand to which he beats naughty children, but also pockets full of cake, candies and nuts. Pockets full of cake. Candy and nuts. Who is this deranged man?

I reach into my pocket young man and grab my nuts. He puts it all in his pocket and then he walks around for 25 years and then it comes in. You gotta bring snacks. Well, there is a first hand account of this guy. A first hand 19th century account of the

bell snickle, not just kidding, it was the bell snickle tradition. Happened in Maryland, U.S. particularly Allegheny County. It can be found in Brown's Miscellaneous Writings, a collection of essays by Jacob Brown, who was born in 1824 and

of a writing of a period around 1830 Brown says, quote, we did not hear of Santa Claus. Instead the tradition called for a visit by a different character altogether. He was known as Kris Kringle, bell snickle and sometimes as the Christmas woman.

I don't know why that's weird. He's sometimes known as Kris Kringle, which obviously would turn into Kris Kringle later, and bell snickle, they're both the men and then, but sometimes he's known as the Christmas woman. Children then not only saw the mysterious person, but felt him

or rather his stripes upon their backs with his switch. So you don't even get to see the guy. He's invisible and just fucking wax you without you being able to see him. Definitely not their parents quickly hitting their children and hiding it behind their back, claiming it was the bell snickle. Is that a

thing? I don't, what, the parents hit them and hide it? I don't know. That's not part of the bell snickle. This is the 1830s. Anything could be happening in 1830s. Listen, I know we got to be careful how we talk about these things on here, but there are elements of the Christmas tradition, even in America, where, you know, we say one

thing's happening, but really, in the end, it turns out to be the parents doing something behind the kids backs. This is an 18 only podcast. If you clicked on it, you know it. So I didn't say what it was. I know I just, I just want to know. I want you both to know. It took me a second

to realize what you were talking about, because to be honest, I thought you were saying some really mess. I was like, what are you saying? I was like, what are you saying? I was like, what are you saying? I was like, you made sound way worse. Okay, but we're all on the page now

and we know it's not whatever the fuck you guys were thinking it was, and it's definitely just what I think it is. I just want to make clear that everyone at home listening. We're all on the same page. I'm not afraid anymore. We have Dean here. You can edit anything. Magic can happen. In fact, last week, he did what we asked

him to do. He did what we asked him to do last week. He did what we asked him to do. His British voice showed up and said Chiluminati podcast over Alex's wrong show call out during the Patreon segment. So thank you. We appreciate your good editing. Subscribe to Super Beard Brothers.

No, subscribe to Chiluminati on Patreon because that's how we pay Dean. Jesse Cox. The annual visitor would make his appearance some hours after dark, thoroughly disguised, especially the face, which would sometimes be covered with a hideous, ugly fizz. Generally wore

what? P-H-I-S. Fizz? P-H-I-Z. Fizz. What is that? What the fuck is that? Is that a fizz? That's what maybe. You know, I don't know. No, what? No. I'm looking it up. A fizz is a person's face or expression.

Okay. So what? Fizz. I can't believe this is a quote. Plus enough to paste his fizz on the cover of Time Magazine. We need to talk like that again. We need to get back to that. Yeah, it just means face. Yeah, he was covered by a hideous...

It says covered by a hideously ugly fizz, aka face. Generally wore a female garb, hence the name, ah, Christmas woman. Sometimes it would be a... Do we mean like a mask maybe? Yeah, well they said sometimes he wears a mask with a long tongue and all that, so that's... maybe that's what they meant.

And yeah, sometimes it would be a veritable woman, but with a masculine force in action. Again, this is from a book from 1830. He or she would be equipped with an ample sack about the shoulders filled with cakes, nuts and fruits and a long hazel switch,

which was supposed to have some kind of charm in it as well as a sting. One hand would scatter the goodies upon the floor and then the scramble would begin by the delighted children and the other hand would ply the switch between the backs of the excited youngsters who would not show a

wince, but had it been parental discipline, there would have been screams to reach a long distance. So he doesn't even hurt them when he hits them. They don't even know he's hitting them until it's too late. Very strange. So yeah, you know, that's the bell snickle. A quick overview of that particular

Christmas character has flavors of crampus, flavors, flavors of Santa. Before you move on, I need... I went down a rabbit hole that I'm not sure I should have. Fizz isn't fizz. Fizz is

a shortened form of fizzog, which is a shortened form of... Visage? No, no. It's a shortened form of fizzogamy, which is the study of outward appearance, especially features of the face to determine temperament.

So they were like, let me see that fizzog of yours. That's very fucking weird. Yeah, that's insane. Fizz? Fizz become face? I don't even like... Bro, I have no clue. Yeah, fair enough.

Yeah, he's still celebrating in weird ways all over the world. Did he roll with... like he rolled alone? He rolled alone. He showed up on his own. He threw all the candies on the floor and then he would hit the kids as they were scrambling. That's fucking hilarious. I know, it's great.

And then it's super funny. How do they make that part of the legend? I don't know. He fucking throws the candies on the floor and then he smacks the kids. Let me ask you a question. If you were a child and you don't go for the candies, do you get smacked? No, no, no, no. He's hitting... He basically throws all the candies on the ground

and then he will hit only the bad kids as they scramble. Go for the candy? Even the good kids, the good kids he ignores who are going for the candy, it's the bad kids. It creates an easy target. It creates an easy target. It waxes them as they're going for it. They don't feel it. They can't feel it either.

Do you think he did that to begin with? He went in there and he smacked the kids and then eventually he was like, it's not funny anymore. I feel like this all started from a weird 1700s perv that then built a legend around his action. Also, what was the 1700s candy? That hard pack.

Enjoy, kids. The hard molasses. An orange. Just like a fucking orange. Like half orange. It's kind of dry because it's been sitting in a fucking dusty counter for a week. Getting all covered in bug shit

and whatever. Merry Christmas. Here's a gross orange. All right. Next one. Have you boys heard of Hans Tropp, the cannibalistic Christmas Scarecrow? Is this also Germany? Let's find out, boys.

And this one, big shout out to Steampunk Librarian for the info on this one. There is some sexual salt. If that is something you don't want to hear. So, this guy is a weird, bizarre creature from Alessay Lorraine

and it's very interesting because we have the legend, but we also have plenty of information on the historical figure from which the legend sprang. This story went from a man having a dispute with the Catholic Church to being a boogeyman who eats children.

And this guy, the guy who's based off of a man by the name of Hans von Trotha. Hans von Trotha. He's got like a very Game of Thrones coat of arms, honestly. It's really cool. I like it a lot. Yeah, it's a really cool looking dude. So, the legend is multiple

in its core. The milder version of the legend claims that he was a black knight that stalked the Palatinate region much like the bells nickel and that he was used as a threat to make children behave. And of the Jungfernsprung, however,

he then gains a much more sinister reputation as a man who stalks a maiden through the forest causing her to fall from rock formations, the rock formation known as Maiden's Leap which she miraculously survives. Quote,

Once a maiden ventured into the forest of Don to pick berries. When she was far away from home, a man suddenly burst out of the thicket, probably the robber baron, Hans Troth from the Stine Castle. The man clearly intended to rob the virgin of her innocence so the young maiden gathered up her skirts

and took to flight, but the villain came ever closer to her. In her panic, the young lass failed to watch where she was going. All of a sudden, she found herself panting for breath at the edge of the precipice with the houses of the town far below. Without stopping to think, the young maiden fell over the abyss

and now the miracle happened because her skirts ballooned out and let her float down gently. She survived the leap entirely unhurt and ever since, at the spot where her foot had landed, a spring has flowed. That's like the stuff, like more

I guess you call it aggressive version of this guy. And this, that was like in the 1800s or so on and that particularly was pulled from, oh god, the Westfaltz Journal Sagenhoftfelsen der Joggensprung which was from 2013.

So German, this is still German of course. This episode is called Germany's complicated relationship with Christmas. Literally, like all the horrifying creatures kind of, for Christmas specifically sprout from that area. After that, the story seemed

to take a turn for the much, much worse. An article on Ripley's website describes trap as being the worst of the anti-Santas. It's said that at one point, he stabbed a child, sliced him into tiny pieces and cooked him eight his flesh.

So you know, probably I would say give him the worst anti-Santa tag after that. I don't know how much he gets much more worse than stabbing and eating a child. But again, the Ripley's believe it or not doesn't check their sources. So take that with obviously a grain of salt.

A pathios article delves into some medieval satanic panic and describes the legendary figure as being a quote cruel man of great wealth who acquired his wealth not through hard work, but from acts of magic and packs with demons. He himself being a man who worshiped Satan.

And I can tell you from firsthand experience that nothing happened. This is also fake because I tried the same thing and it didn't fucking work. Magic is specifically spelled with a K because old timey magic. Sweet. This whole thing of this cruel man seems to be

the source of actual fact because this is what led to what he calls great battles with the church and the pope and was eventually excommunicated from the church. Everything he owned was taken by the church and he was shunned and banished. He would eventually seclude himself in the woods

where he invested even more time in black magic, supposedly, which made him lose his mind and caused a taste for human flesh. He then enacted a plan in which he dressed up as a scarecrow so they could snatch kids as they came through the fields. Using this ploy, he was indeed able to nab

a young shepherd that he dragged back to his shack where he set to butchering and roasting him. However, before he could take the first bite of sweet child flesh, God struck him with lightning and he died. But God didn't stop him from killing the kid though.

God was excited to get that kid in heaven because he wanted to hang out with them but after the act was done, he killed the guy. The article then goes on to say that it was after this that trap became a hooded scarecrow that it would abduct naughty children and carry them away into the forest never to be seen again.

But there is some truth behind all this. Hans von Trotha was a 15th century knight in the Palatinate region who was in possession of multiple castles and political positions. Some time in the 1480s a dispute arose between von Trotha and the abbot of Weissenberg Abbey

over some contested property. At the peak of this dispute von Trotha dammed a nearby river which flooded fields and meadows in like an act of I guess dispute I don't know what you would call that or why he would have done it.

After complaints by the abbot von Trotha ripped out the dam and flooded the town of Weissenberg as well as their economy. It's believed that this was von Trotha's plan the entire time. The war between von Trotha and the abbot continued for years before von Trotha was finally called before Pope Alexander

VI but von Trotha maverick that he was didn't go he refused. This was a serious screed to the pope instead which eventually led to excommunication. While the people directly in charge of von Trotha disavowed him in public they still worked with him even going so far

as to send him to the French royal court during the Italian wars. Apparently he was a very good diplomat which seems at odds with his inability to find a compromise with the abbot. While he was at the French court he was even awarded a chevalier d'hue knighthood by the king so he became a knight

while he was in the French area. All this he did die in 1503 at the ripe old age of 53. Legitimately a final fantasy villain character. Yeah, just bizarre. I know. After he died all the

sanctions against him were lifted and he was given an appropriately Catholic burial. So as soon as he were died they were like alright we'll take him as one of our own now. So yeah von Trotha was a real guy who was a fucking asshole you know

damned up the river as a means to piss off the abbey and then flooded the whole fucking city afterward like Jesus Christ. That's insane. Nuts. But yeah and then from there his cannibalistic like rumors were kind of grew from there

but there you go there's the cannibalistic scarecrow also another weird German Christmas person. Next up is Pierre Fautard which is French father whipper or old man whipper. He's a character who accompanies Saint Nicholas on his rounds

during Saint Nicholas Day December 6th dispensing lumps of coal and or you guessed it beatings to naughty children while Saint Nicholas gives gifts to the well behaved. He is known mainly in the far north and eastern regions of France and some in south

Belgium and in French speaking Switzerland although similar characters exist all over Europe obviously you can immediately see the comparisons between himself and Krampus and Beltsnickle. This whipping father was said to bring a whip with him to spank all the naughty children

who misbehave. So honestly what would you prefer a wooden switch or a whip to beat you? I don't think that I would take the whip. I feel like I would have taken the wooden switch too. I feel like a whip is like I feel like this could be like a trick

you know what I mean? We know a whip would hurt. But like a switch to a wood ass switch? That's got to hurt too though. Well but nobody is actually getting their ass beat. It's just all like none of this actually happens. They didn't name this after

a person right? Yeah no this isn't he's not based off of as far as I know. Like does somebody come into town dressed as this guy and actually whip children no way right? I don't think it's a regularly practicing nowadays for my look at it very again admittedly very quickly

the latest I can see is they were talked about yeah I don't I don't think so. I don't think anybody dressed up as them mostly because like the stories we're about to get into the couple of them are extremely violent and I don't think that that parents were doing that but I also don't I mean

if they were celebrating with him I could see people dressing up as him instead of Krampus because he's essentially the same character just like given a different name you know but here's some of the most weird stories about him one of the most popular stories about the origin of Pierre Fautard

was first told way back in 1252 an innkeeper or butcher in other versions captures three boys who appear to be wealthy and on their way to enroll in a religious boarding school along with his wife he kills the children in order to rob them one gruesome

version tells that they drugged the children slit their throats cut them into pieces and stood them in a barrel Saint Nicholas discovers the crime resurrect and resurrects the children after this Pierre Fautard repents and becomes Saint Nicholas's partner a slightly different version

of the story claims that Saint Nicholas forced Harry Fautard to become his assistant as a punishment for his crimes so either way the dude netted a lifetime job after killing three kids by Saint Nicholas Saint Santa came and was like you know what I'll take you into my wing

you will punish kids for some reason I'm still going to allow you to physically hit children even though you killed three of them but you're gonna do it under my watch another story states that during the siege of Metz which was a city in eastern France in 1552

an effigy of King Charles V was burned and dragged through the city meanwhile an association of Tanners created a grotesque character also a tanner armed with a whip and bound in chains who punished children after Metz was liberated the charred effigy of Charles V

and the character created by the Tanners somehow assimilated into what is now known as Pierre Fautard events surrounding the city's liberation and the burning of the effigy coincide with the passage of Saint Nicholas hence Pierre Fautard became his quote-unquote bad cop

counterpart he actually did show up in the 30s in the United States under the translated name father-flog or spanky I'm sorry what was it translated to father-flog or spanky

that of course America would do that of course would be like all spanky 1930s America was father-flog or spanky that sounds like 30 gangsters he needs a new agent is what he needs

hey it's all spanky time of year almost identical to the original french personification father-flog had nothing to do with Christmas and also had a female accomplice named mother-flog the tool doled out specific punishments for specific childhood crimes

example cutting out the tongue for lying so they just America just didn't restrict them to Christmas they're like they're gonna come at any point this guy never relax he's always working he's got that mindset

he's there I just want a basketball for Christmas alright this next one is a group of creatures that Jesse is known rather well these are Icelandic in nature the 13

Yule lads from Iceland's own mischievous Santa Claus they are very very weird and incredibly entertaining and I'm excited to talk about them with you so Icelandic children get to enjoy the favors of not one

but 13 father-Christmases called the Yule lads these merry but mischievous fellows take turns visiting kids on the 13 nights leading up to Christmas on each of those nights children place one of their shoes on the windowsill for good boys and girls the Yule lad will leave candy

if not the Yule lads are not subtle in expressing their disapproval they will fill the shoe with rotting potatoes god damn ain't that a good time it's harmless I like it I buy this these are real

while the kids may enjoy 13 Santa Claus visits they also have to contend with a creature called Greela which we'll talk about as a separate creature immediately after these boys I just want to say Alex every single one of these again you are the most

you are like our Christmas miracle every single Yule lad is a version of you I love it alright well let's talk about each one very quickly so these are all pulled from the Smithsonian um in this particular I'm at Smithsonian magazine

for this this is the 13 Yule lads the first one is sheep coat clod he tries to suckle yous and farm his sheep sheds that's his thing that's like his defining personality trait that's what he does suckles on sheep's tits that's his thing

that's it that's what he does they're like their own they're like the seven dwarves but hang on let me get you a quick like picture so you can I'll I'll post it in the uh oh great okay this is a very quick picture of all 13 of them

go watch the animated version of this very thing right now there you go those are the 13 of them yes alright next up is gully gawk gully gawk also likes a very particular thing and that's the foam from buckets of cow milk

he likes to scrape it off the top and steal it just get that so far I'm nothing else so far I don't have a lot in common with these guys all right all right I disagree I got the beard I'll say you know if you had the opportunity to suckle from a sheep's tit would you do it I think he would

just to try just to try I'd have to know at least I mean yeah exactly and that's how I feel about having sex with cryptid so okay I understand okay stubby is the third one stubby yep stubby

stubby hey guess what he guess guess what his thing is he eats he eats thumbs no he's short and steals food from frying pans oh that's me he loves fried food dude he's a fried food guy that's me he steals food from frying pans while I'm frying food you have to guess this next one yeah what is this guy do spoon liquor

okay I'll figure it out let's see spoon liquor he loves to lick a spoon god damn you are good but what spoons is my question and a spoon with stuff on it he likes it he loves to just like

he likes the dirty spoon it's not about getting his tongue into a smooth middle it's about all those treasures left behind on the silverware yeah he loves it yeah yeah all right next up also one you're gonna have a hard time guess them get uh this is pot scraper a.k.a. pot liquor

now pot liquor when my dad makes like collard greens is a delicious beverage that I like to shoot with vodka or soju oh yeah that juice yeah but pot liquor in this case I gotta imagine he just he's similar to spoon liquor

you you are correct with one extra difference between the last two other than stealing and eating the food he will also steal the unwashed pots he takes them from he takes the pots he takes the pots it is he loves them so they just really don't want you to leave any mess anywhere no phone loud hide those titties

sorry ladies is bowl liquor surprise surprise he steals bowls and of food from under the bed specifically and back in the old days Icelanders used to sometimes store bowls of food there convenient for midnight snacking

they really didn't like it when people licked their stuff I think finding out about the Icelandic people there's more oh yeah next up is door slammer he stomps around and slams doors keeping everyone awake

oh I see so you don't want to be like any of these guys is the idea correct now you have to know the translation of this next word well hold on ok go ahead the next word you should know I mean I think you should know right alright well let's see this next one is

skier gobbler he gobbles all his skier he loves yogurt dude the Icelandic yogurt skier yeah he just eats up Icelandic yogurt alright I can't blame him sausage swiper sausage swiper is one

yep that's I mean he loves stolen sausages that's my brother actually my brother on Christmas he'll eat like four pounds of sausages I don't even know how he does it this next one

named window peeper this is the me this is the you I wouldn't want to be Alex and not be window peeper like this is the George McFly of the group yeah he likes to creep outside windows I get that reference by the way and sometimes steal the stuff

he sees inside only sometimes sometimes he's like window shopping thief he's like a window stealer yeah I just think he likes to he's like a voyeur but he's not just a voyeur he also might steal sometimes though the thing that he's looking at

it's true we have three more door sniffer he has a huge nose and an insatiable appetite for stolen baked goods so he sniffs the door and like sneaks in and takes your goods

this one I'm like whatever on this one this next one is absolutely you this man's name is meat hook matches up any meat left out especially smoked lamb okay well meat hooks okay in my book yeah right that's pretty good

meat hook can hang out he can use my house as his base you can come over anytime he can sleep if he wants honestly this is the guy who became CEO of butcher box he's got a store at somewhere yeah last but not least of the 13 year lads

is the candle beggar he steals candles after items way back in in olden times basically an iphone yeah I need you to know the funniest part about this and I think this is the best part about the yule lads you can imagine the story

sitting down around a fire to tell the kids about the yule lads and they're like papa what are the yule lads names and you say them well first there was sheep coat clawed and his friend

golly gock and they're like what were the others and you're like uh stubby look at the others spoon liquor and then it just like devolves into just what they do they don't have names anymore he's like his eyes are darting around the room

as he's desperately nervously sweating until you ran out of shit that to lick he moved on this one sniffs the doors yeah just looking at the room like one takes candles and this one makes meat hooks the wax that shit with hot commodities and there was candle beggar and he's gonna steal our candles

he loves candles yes yes I love that there was also the yule cat I love the yule cat he's my favorite one also known as yola cotorin at butcher day a huge ambitious cat who is described as lurking about the snowy countryside

during christmas time and eating people who have not received any new clothes to wear before christmas eve you better get new clothes on or the cat is gonna eat you he is also he is a pet of grila and her 13 yule sons

though referred to as an ancient tradition written accounts of the yule lad have only been located as recently as the 19th century the threat of being eaten by the yule cat was used by farmers as an incentive for their workers to finish processing the autumn wool before christmas the ones who took part in the workers

that worked on adults well you know I'm sure kids were out in them fields as well doing a lot of childhood labors in the 19th century imagine telling a 25 year old man yule cat there's this cat out there and he can sense

if you have new clothes I'd be like okay grandpa let's get you to bed if you don't have new clothes it isn't like a punishment against you for making it if you don't have new clothes he eats the person without new stuff you have to have new clothes

there's almost like a you're supposed to give stuff to the homeless as well but if you don't then homeless dudes dead you're like telling your son see that guy over there he's not going to be there tomorrow we don't buy him a new outfit

because this cat is coming who's very hungry it's even like just buying a sock like new socks here's the fucked up thing here's the fucked up thing if you do this monster what does the cat eat?

nothing he's a supernatural cat he'll be fine there's always going to be someone who doesn't get something new there's always those lesser than you that's heavy oh shit this I'm saying oh yeah I know the ones who would take part

in the work prior to Christmas were rewarded with new clothes and those who did not would get nothing and thus be preyed upon by the monstrous cat the cat has alternatively been described as merely eating away the food of ones without new clothing during Christmas feasts

and the perception of the Yule cat as a man eating beast was partly popularized by poems of Johannes Erkotlum as well as the rest of the folklore it's so much weirder to just wake up naked though I know I know it is and the last of this family

of Yule creatures is Grilla Grilla is an ogre who lives in the mountains of Iceland like Krampus and Mary Lwyd she is a Christmas monster and only appears around Christmas time the stories about her in Iceland vary

some say she is kind of just like a boogeyman who enjoys scaring people others present her as a much darker entity saying she murders children and eats them in Iceland she is as famous as the mother of the Yule lads and as the Yule cat as a pet

known thing Grilla is very similar to Krampus in many ways while Santa brings good children presents Grilla has an unsatiable hunger for naughty children and she is always grumpy like Krampus she'll kidnap kids in a sack she then brings them home to cook them alive

and turn them into a stew she won't kill them first like the cannibalistic scarecrows she cooks them alive like Santa Grilla has helpers her sons known as the Yule lads they are usually much less cruel than their mother she pranks on people during the Christmas season all that obviously depends

on the version there are some tales of the Yule lads as homicidal child eating monsters Grilla also has a giant cat named the Yule cat which we just talked about Grilla is married to her third husband

named Lepelui third husband she's had two previous Lepelui who lives in the lava fields in a cave this historic area is rife with supernatural mischief according to folklore due to its unique natural castle formations

and traditional tales of it being the place of Satan himself where he landed when he fell from heaven and then that's cool as shit damn it's fucking sick but that's her she's just kind of like a Krampus analog

who's a little bit more violent in some of the stories and I had three husbands if you want to know what her husband looks like it looks like the dude from Harry Potter the guy with the beard perfect I love him you know what dude you know what I'm talking about

Hagrid yeah it looks like Hagrid Hagrid okay alright and our next one and our final one is have you heard of Mary Louis the zombie Christmas horse what the zombie Christmas

horse yeah yeah yeah Mary Louis also known as Gray Mary in English is a Welsh zombie horse that visits people's homes and pubs during the Christmas season many Welsh believe that the ghost horse brings good luck in the new year

and traditional the traditional people let the horse into their homes which sounds like a horrible horrible fucking idea I don't know why you would do that the week between Christmas and New Year's is the time when the Mary Louis comes to visit

usually at night usually six people act out the tradition one member would hold a horse's skull while some of the others carry a sheet over the group to give the appearance of the ghost horse this thing is awful looking I know

the remaining members of the group tie colorful ribbons around the skull and use them as reins to leave the horse around while the towns people sing Christmas carols and Welsh traditional songs the horse walks through the town when the horse entered a house or bar the horse would try to attack the residents

the people leading the horse would restrain the horse from attacking children most of the chaos, although portrayed as terrifying was all in good fun the guests were often rewarded with Christmas desserts to thank them for bringing good luck to the house the horse represented bizarrely good luck

this is just like a seed for a creepypasta is what this exists it really seems like it way back in ancient practices she was celebrated it was typically celebrated on New Year's Eve specifically since these ancient times

people have then kind of expanded it have created a festival during this festival of lights signifying birth and hope and good fortune and she's like the rebirth of a dead horse in these more modern festivals that help represent her that's pretty much it

the zombie horse in her group will just knock on doors asking in song to be let in the song is sung in Welsh and it's pretty much the same with a few variations which we can actually I can maybe add this in Dean maybe you can edit this in in this moment as like a little

not the whole thing but just a little taste here's a version of it gentlemen if you want to hear it I'm going to listen real quick this literally looks like somebody did a babality on a blood-borne boss this thing is absolutely bedraggled looking so scary truly

we'll get a nice little taste in the episode for everybody there and a nice little Christmas taste what's fascinating about this is that it isn't just singing they would walk up to the house sing and then you would have to sing back why you can't let them in

and then you would have basically a rap battle about why they're allowed the last bit I have here is once the traditional opening verses are sung which by the first verses of that song were meant to be sung by Mary Louis the horse Mary Louis and company are answered by those inside

with challenges and insults a battle of wits known as punco ensues where riddles, challenges and insults must be exchanged in rhyme if the zombie horses party wins the punco which can be as long as the creativity of the two parties endure

the merry party enters with another song and is given drinks and treats so the people carrying the horse win the rap battle they get food and fucking drink dude I don't know how many people listening have played this but if you played the newest Assassin's Creed game Valhalla

in that game characters have like rap battles and it's like an ancient art form where they sit there and they're like like rap and rhyme with each other that is pretty much what this is that's fascinating I love that that is nuts it's truly

like very like hauntingly I don't know something about this custom really grabs me in a romantic way I love it too and that is the if it wasn't for the terrifying horse skull everything about this is charming as hell yeah the horse skull makes it even better

it's like a build up quest or something it's so weird but this creature is still out there so if any of you out there have a knock on your door and a zombie horse starts asking to be let in with a rap battle prepare your greatest wits and retorts and hope to fend it off lest you need to give it food

and drink and last day is actually tonight on the night of us recording it so best of luck out there as you know it's already been gone this is also like the long if you don't know the creepypasta long horse yes I know long horse

it looks just like long horse yeah that's unpleasant that wraps up our little relaxing kind of holiday in between episode of some weird Christmas creatures out there that's kind of all of them that are worth noting for the most part

we're off to go do a mini-sode where I'm the only one bringing a topic from last week because I have Kostakos's Top 10 Weirdest UF Encounters of 2022 that we're gonna go through but we're gonna open with the recent tweet on Christmas Eve from Christopher Mellon

who then puts out this big fucking blog post don't do it on this episode we gotta do it on the mini-sode that maybe the document of the majestic 12 might be real we're off thank you guys so much for listening goodbye hello everybody welcome back to the Jaluminati podcast

as always I'm one of your hosts, Mike Martin joined by the I don't know who they are there's two what? Terrence Hill and Bud Spencer no Neo and Trinity I don't understand and I probably

never will let me just tell you right now that there's two Leon Kennedy and Claire I'm telling you I think he literally just looked up famous duos and he's been going through the list ever since I'm trying to dig deep

which one of you is Dick Powell your name's Jesse Cox I want my my my my

my my my my my my my my

my my my my my my Mr. Dear Carbon Footprint, who's got America's largest electrified lineup?

15 Hybrid Plug-In Fuel Cell Electric and Battery Electric Vehicles From the new Prius to the RAV4 Hybrid, the Crown and the Tundra i-Force Max. Toyota's the name of the electrified game. As our lineup gets larger, your footprint gets smaller. Get the juice on toyota.com. Juice? Yup, juice. Toyota, let's go places.