Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 197 - Cryptids of the Inuit People

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Starting point is 00:00:30 Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the Chulumanati podcast, episode one hundred and ninety seven. As always, I'm one of your hosts, Mike Martin, joined by the Max and Ivan of L.A. Alex and Jesse. Don't know who that is. Is that like a sure? They're a British comedy duo known collectively as Max and Ivan, and they are the creators, writers and stars of the BBC Radio Four series, the casebook of Max and Ivan. When Dean shakes his head, like, I don't know, bro, that's how you know this is a deep cut. This feels like contemporary. Yeah, they're pretty good. The two thousand seven.

Starting point is 00:01:26 They started in 2007. Max and Ivan, I thought, was going to be like Russian propagandists. No, without anything. I'm Ivan without any. I just I'm looking at pictures of them. Yeah, I'm more of a Max. I'm going to be that or was going to be cannon and ball. But I feel like we did cannon and ball before. Cannon and ball is just two items. That's not. And so definitely like someone should talk to them about their marketing. They should be called cannonball. Why are we cannon and ball? I understand you're two different people, but you could just been like, we're cannonball instead of we're cannon and ball.

Starting point is 00:01:57 I don't know. I got I have no opinion. I don't know. Someone send them this podcast. That's free. That's on me. You can take that cannon and ball. Max and Ivan do South by Southwest. So I guess they're international performers. You can start making these up at any point and I would be like, yeah, that's me. Maybe it'll happen. Maybe I'm not saying I won't make something up at some point and I won't tell you when it's going to happen. And we'll see what happens. Okay. Next week is going to be like Glinkus and Minkus.

Starting point is 00:02:24 I'm definitely Glorfis. I'm definitely Glinkus. You're definitely Glinkus and I'm definitely Glinkus. Two characters from Boy Meets World, I think. Farkus and Glormy Glorfis. I'm Flarkus and you're Glormy Glorfis for sure. Yeah, please. Yeah. I can tell. Dingleberry and the Hotmaster. I'll be Dingleberry. You're the Hotmaster.

Starting point is 00:02:45 I'm the Hotmaster. That checks out. Yeah. This is easy. I can do this. Yes, but you know, mine are all factual. They are people who exist. I want to believe. They live in, if they're from the UK, are they real people? I want to believe. I want to believe.

Starting point is 00:03:00 I have no idea what that means. There's no idea. I want to believe. I know that's a poster, right? Sure. X-Files. Got it. Thank you, producer Dean. We're giving me some hand signals. Guys, I know we've got an episode to go into and I know you've got to pitch your Patreon stuff, but I just need to, I need to talk about this

Starting point is 00:03:17 because it's just been crazy for the past two weeks. Aliens and ghosts for me particular. I need to update you boys on some weird shit that's been happening in my life. Aliens and ghosts in your life? Yes. Yes. I mean, so I texted you boys about that other thing. Pause. Time out. I'm going to tell the story and clarify so people fully understand.

Starting point is 00:03:36 Right. No, no, no. Before you do any of this. And it all can be explained as something else. I'm not saying it is. I just want to put them out there, Jesse. Right. No, no. Of course, I'm not even, I wouldn't even disparage you, my man. I don't want to hear this. I want to hear the story. That's why you're the Max and Alex is the Ivan. I'm Ivan for sure. Right. I mean, obviously, but I, no, I'm not going to like give you a hard time.

Starting point is 00:03:57 I just want to know how high were you during this time period? Okay. So actually for the, the, the store, the star in the sky, not at all. I'll explain why I was unfortunate. That could be a problem. I mean, that could be the problem, but all right. For the weird things that have been happening around the house on and off. It's been little weird things that can be like, I'm high for some of it. Nothing above baseline. Nothing above baseline. Oh no, nothing above baseline. Just high as you always are.

Starting point is 00:04:20 Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. And thank you to patreon.com for allowing me to live a life fully influenced by weed. So the first word I told you guys is the text, I just got to get it out there. Oh God. I was, I was driving while I was driving home from seeing some people who let's just say if I was high while seeing them, it wouldn't go over well out here in the wonderful state of Texas. Gotcha. Gotcha. We're driving home and I was just chilling looking at, I was a passenger not driving

Starting point is 00:04:49 so you're not, so you know, I'm not supposed to be paying attention to the road. I'm just looking up at the sky because one thing about Texas that I do like, one of the few things is the night sky is gorgeous. It's fucking gorgeous. Big sky country. It is beautiful all the time. And I was looking out the front window and I just saw this like orange light that I thought was a star because, you know, Venus and Jupiter, Venus and Jupiter, yeah, have been very visible lately, especially up there.

Starting point is 00:05:13 And so I thought it was just that. And I was looking at it and I maybe looked at it for two seconds before it didn't like disappear. It didn't like zip away. It like dimmed like someone took, you know, those dimming like controls in the side for a room and like dimmed it to off. It went sure and just disappeared. It was a cloudless night. It wasn't like raining.

Starting point is 00:05:34 Now, when you know, just for the people at home really quick, you went like a like a but like a like a circle wipe. Like, did it like, did it close like that? Did it like envelope? I went in from all sides. It went from in from all sides. It kind of like right in. Interesting. OK.

Starting point is 00:05:49 And it just was gone. And I don't. It could be maybe it was like a meteorite in the sky or something. Maybe it was like, I don't know. I saw it for two fucking seconds before it disappeared on me and looked weird. And I was genuinely was like, did you see that? And it was just, I don't know. It could be something completely natural, but it was like, you know,

Starting point is 00:06:08 me, man, I'm going to get excited about that shit. And maybe it was a meteorite. But even if it was a meteorite, that's the best you're ever going to get. That's fine. Because even if it was a meteorite, that's still fucking cool, too. You don't get to see that too often. But if anybody out there knows like, can like something hit the atmosphere or do something where it looks like it kind of dims to off without leaving.

Starting point is 00:06:27 It didn't have a trail. It wasn't moving. It was what you saw the last like five seconds of a flare. That'd be cool. I mean, I'm Texas. I mean, I'd have to look it. I don't think it was a flare because it wasn't red. And it wasn't like, you got this.

Starting point is 00:06:39 It was quite far away. Yeah, it just looked like a star. It looked like an orange star in the sky. Like. That's all I can explain. It didn't look closer than a star. Just like pulse. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:50 It wasn't moving. Like it didn't do anything other than just kind of behave strangely. Yeah. Yeah. That was it. It could be anything. Maybe you're on the Truman show. Could be.

Starting point is 00:07:00 I wonder if could. I mean, yeah, but it wasn't moving. So I don't know. Jesse. Sorry. I feel like I cut you off. No, no. So I'm trying to find it right now.

Starting point is 00:07:08 And I wanted to send it to you earlier this week. But I was like, I'll wait until the show. Okay. And now I can't find it. It's driving me crazy. But that's fine. Basically there was a video that was doing the rounds earlier this week of a pilot being interviewed.

Starting point is 00:07:24 And I'm not sure what show was on. I feel like it's probably Joe Rogan since that's all the clips that exist on the internet these days. Yeah. Pretty much. But I, it was a pilot and he was talking about how for years, he and his buddies, be it in the Air Force or just commercial planes, whatever, would purposefully fly weird patterns. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:44 You told us this before. And purposefully turn their lights on and off just to mess with people. And they were like, so you're trying to be UFOs is like, oh yeah. No, that doesn't surprise me at all. Like that doesn't surprise me whatsoever. It was stationary. It wasn't moving and it definitely didn't have any blinking lights on it, like a commercial plane that are all over the sky that I see all the time.

Starting point is 00:08:03 It just was an orange light look that looked like a star. I'm not, it wasn't huge. Oh no, I'm not saying, I'm gonna say what you saw was that I'm saying now that I hear that I'm like, I don't believe none of these UFOs out there. Everyone's lying to everyone. I'm saying we got to call maintenance at the Mathis habitat and have them. Yeah. 931 inside of his enclosure.

Starting point is 00:08:24 You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, the other, the last thing I'll talk about is just like, you know how I had these little like weird events of things falling off the shelf and I just like, it was infrequent. Yes. That hadn't stopped, so to speak. Like I just, I can't tell if it's something. What do you say the rate is like how, how fast, how often is this happening?

Starting point is 00:08:44 I would say maybe once every week and a half to two weeks. That's pretty good. That's pretty good though. So you're looking at once maybe twice a month. It's regular. You know what I mean? The last three things that happened to me, however, were way different than anything else.

Starting point is 00:08:57 First, I was sitting on the couch, playing a game or something, and I thought a cat jumped up behind me because you know when you feel the weight on a couch behind you and you kind of sink back and you get used to what a cat feels like. I have two of them and they do it all the time. So I thought it was just one of my cats. I turn around or pet it and there's nothing there. No cat is nearby and I look it and Jess looks at me super confused and I'm like, did you, did a cat jump up here?

Starting point is 00:09:20 She saw nothing, felt nothing and she's like, no, I'm like, all right, I swear I felt it. Then I saw two things the past four days and it's been very weird. And again, one of those situations where I don't know what else like it could be something may just my brain playing tricks on me, but it's the first time I've seen something physical twice. So I was leaving my office after playing my night, like my hour of chaos gate that I've been playing every night lately as I got up, I took my headphones off, I put them on my mic and I turned toward the door and I saw what I thought was the back half of one of

Starting point is 00:09:52 my cats, Blaze, who's a black cat, zip out the room. There were lights on. I had a light on over here and there was the hallway light on. So it wasn't just pitch black and I was like, Oh, Blaze. And I saw an Ollie followed me because Ollie was with me and I went around and there was no blaze. And I was like, maybe he ran down the stairs. I went downstairs and he's dead asleep upside down in a ball.

Starting point is 00:10:09 And I'm like, what? Okay, weird. Maybe he was faking it. Maybe. Yeah. If there was a ghost on textbook shadow person though, right? Yeah, but it was, it looked like a cat. It was very weird.

Starting point is 00:10:22 Cause then the same thing happened again as I was sitting on the couch in my living room and I turned my head, but this time I'm just seeing, instead of just seeing a back half, I thought I saw Blaze run into the bedroom like he always does. And I was like, Oh, all right, see, uh, and I turned to the kitchen where I was going and there's Ollie, my other cat sitting in front of where the litter box is. And I'm like, what are you doing, dude? And he's not letting Blaze out. And so Blaze is right there.

Starting point is 00:10:47 He's like guarding Blaze. So it was another one of, and that was the last one. And then I haven't had anything happen since no, and that was, I would say that's been four days now since that one or three days. So can I ask you a question then? Like a, like a pretty, you know, so are you, no, no, no, are you leaning towards my cat has psychic powers or there's a ghost cat? If the option is one of the two, I'm going to go with ghost cat.

Starting point is 00:11:09 Yeah. This neighborhood has so many fucking cats. Is there any way that you can like, has anybody lived in your house recently? That's had a cat. Not Reese. Well, before me, apparently just a dude and his wife, but I don't know anything about them. Like all I know is they didn't take their Christmas decorations down and they got in

Starting point is 00:11:26 trouble by the HOA. You should see if there's a black cat in that house. I mean, you know, I don't know. Again, that could be the beginning of your the ring right there. But you're typical, like, I don't know if it's really what I got, if that's really what it was, or if it's something that my my eyes were adjusting or something and it quickly like did that brain thing where it just tried to make something logical. I definitely had those.

Starting point is 00:11:46 I don't know. Yeah. I just get that off my chest. It's weird. And if it's a cat, I'm down. I'm down to be haunted by a ghost cat. But if it's if it's drugs, then I'm going to have to get more of them because they have never seen ghosts doing drugs before.

Starting point is 00:12:04 So, you know, that's fun. Let's see the drugs, everybody experiences at any cost, experience any cost, you know, as far as the thing in the sky, I'm more apt to say that's maybe just like a sky anomaly. I feel like the back of the neck prickle that you saw an alien. I got really excited and it was really weird, but it didn't do anything other than if I could if I had seen it move even for a half a second before it went away, then maybe that it was an alien. Yeah, I it was just one of those things where it's hard to explain.

Starting point is 00:12:36 Interesting. And then there's like all the other shit going on in the UFO world, which we'll talk about in the Minnesota. I am sure today, since I know Alex is bringing something. So you say, where would you be listening to that? Perhaps on patreon.com slash shillimanati pod, the greatest website. It is the greatest website. Yeah, go over there, get some stuff, pay us, help us, keep it up, keep it going, keep it

Starting point is 00:12:59 moving, forget about any sort of SEO algorithm. Let us do what we want. You know what I mean? The best work that we can do is work that makes us happy. Thank you for supporting us. I love you. We're about to record a new rotten popcorn right after this. I'm going to try and convince this to watch the X files.

Starting point is 00:13:14 We'll see what happens. Stay tuned. I have a better movie that I think you'll. OK, well, we'll see. We'll see how it shakes out. You'll have to go to patreon.com slash shillimanati pod to find out who won this today, boys. A little bit of a breather. You two are heading off to the UK next week for one of your other shows, a little bit

Starting point is 00:13:33 of a scare game squad. Come see us at WASDA 15 pounds. Yeah. Say, where does that happen? It's at WASDA at the Truman Brewery. Yeah. Yeah. Come on down in London.

Starting point is 00:13:43 You have to you have to be inside the show to go. Remember that? Thursday show has sold out for the con. And so if you're going and you want to come to our show Thursday night, you better already have tickets for Thursday. But we're doing anything Friday, so stop on by and we'll be there day Saturday. So like coming out with us. I'm so fucking I'm so fucking excited.

Starting point is 00:14:05 Yeah, it's gonna be great. I'm so fucking excited to go eat a bunch of food in England. I remember going the one time I went to no, I went I've been in London now twice and it's just so expensive. It's beautiful. But goddamn, that city is expensive. I think we get it. I think it's our turn to get a discount this year.

Starting point is 00:14:18 I'm not sure. Yeah, we'll see. We'll see whose economy is worse since you won't be here next week and we'll be doing a minisode compilation next week. And I just said we probably shouldn't start a two parter. So we're going to do something that we haven't done in about three. Yeah. Like three months on the dot.

Starting point is 00:14:33 Three months. Seriously. Since we've done this. This is another cryptid adventure, a cryptid road trip, cryptid around the world's kind of just taking a look at some of the more interesting things that are out there. And the last time we did this was Christmas. Christmas cryptids back in December. I just want to say I really enjoy these episodes and I'm excited.

Starting point is 00:14:51 I do too. I like them too. You know, you know, not something I want too often, but I do enjoy like a little it's like a little dessert act. It's a chicken soup for the catholic soul, you know, I like it. Yeah. I like that a lot. We got a right.

Starting point is 00:15:06 We should copyright that. Can we copy right to chicken soup for the catholic soul? You think it already exists, maybe we're going to have problems with at least two different copyrights. I don't know. I'm not sure. I mean, all right, it's probably going to be very expensive for us, but maybe it'll work out in the end today.

Starting point is 00:15:21 Initially the idea today was to actually look at Hawaiian cryptids, which we will go more Hawaiian mythical creatures rather than cryptids. But in diving into Hawaiian kind of mythology and stuff, I oddly got led into a totally different area of the earth that we're going to cover instead, kind of more broadly the poles of earth, like the north and south pole. But specifically we're looking at the Antarctic, the Inuit people and what kind of cool shit and there's some cool fucking shit from their mythology. I apologize ahead of time for pronunciation.

Starting point is 00:15:55 I am trying really hard and I it's not on purpose. That's all. All right. And there's they have so freaking many. Do you guys know anything about like the cryptids of the far north? Not at all. I all I know is that the snow is absolutely psychedelic. It's such a wild thing.

Starting point is 00:16:15 And so I'm expecting some some kind of very weird, trippy sort of am I hallucinating type stuff? Thank you to Canva for sponsoring this episode and creating visual content surprisingly is an essential part of what we do here at the podcast. But the creative process is not always easy and it's almost always time consuming. Having to make sure you got the right programs, taking the hours to layer things properly and let's be honest, I'm not even all that good at that design stuff. But ever since I got Canva for teams, it's been super easy to collaborate in a design

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Starting point is 00:17:42 which opens us more time to go do more things that we love. Collaborate with Canva for teams. Right now you can get a free 45 day extended trial when you go to canva.me slash chill that's canva.me slash chill for a free 45 day extended trial canva.me slash chill. There's definitely some of that some creepy water monster stuff some some really cool shit. Uh, I do you guys have any interest in going like to the Antarctic even just like experience it out there for like a couple days or something.

Starting point is 00:18:15 I think I'm probably priced out, but if the opportunity presented itself, I would consider it. Oh yeah. I'm just saying money wasn't an issue. Would you go and experience Antarctica for a few days? Hell yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree.

Starting point is 00:18:31 I've always it seems like such a cool place. Would you want to go when it's super dark or daytime? I I'm not even I don't even care. I have like it to me would be like going to an alien planet. It's like so impossible for me to even conceive what it would even be like, you know, I played video games on ice, you know, I've done it, but video games on I don't think it does it justice. I have a feeling it's like pretty fucking wild and I would love to see it.

Starting point is 00:18:53 I would I do too. I would want to just like see and experience that kind of world and the people who live out there freaking daily. I want to go to the weird loan post office they have. I want to go to like the weird hotel that kind of exists that isn't really a hotel. It's kind of like a bunker. I want to go see all that. I want to see where the scientists stay indoors for three months out of the year.

Starting point is 00:19:14 Like I want that whole experience. Oh, man, I can't imagine what that would be like. Man, kind of cool, maybe to do the first time, but I love watching the videos. Yes, what's crazy is one of my old wow buddies back in the day, his. Now ex-wife's dad was a guy who like was a sub captain. And so he was gone six months out of the year under the Arctic. I'm imagining Sean Connery in the hunt for red October right now. Pretty much.

Starting point is 00:19:48 And his wife is like the sweetest person in the world. Six months out of the year under water, under the Arctic in a sub terrifying. I couldn't do it. Have you seen those videos of like the people who get to spend a day on like the reporter going to spend a day on a military U.S. submarine? It is the most cramped, tight quartered, horrifying existence. I don't think I could ever do. I can't even do a coach most of the time.

Starting point is 00:20:12 I would lose my mind. I would, I couldn't, I would never. I would, I would freak out after like 20 minutes. Honestly, man, surrounded by just pressure that could just like while everyone was awake, maybe I would be okay, like in bigger rooms. But once I go in bed, when you're distracting, I go in bed, it's over. I can't imagine the noises that just like a submarine makes under the water way. No way.

Starting point is 00:20:35 There's, I have to imagine after a while you get used to it, right? But that first, the first couple of days when you have that realization of, oh my God, I'm under, you're like, I guess you have to suck it up. Cause what are you going to do? Like be like, well, I went off this sub like tough military son. I would have to meditate for like months before I could do that without any sort of damage permanent to my entire self. No, I couldn't do it.

Starting point is 00:20:58 I couldn't do it. There's just no way in hell. I just would, I would collapse mentally in the day. Who knows to you, if you're on a submarine, listen to the Chilumanati podcast, let us know. Man, yeah. Wow. You are a brave soul, whoever you are and tell me, how do you get the podcast?

Starting point is 00:21:11 Well, they do come up every few months for, they need to restock. So you get it in like, download it in chunks. Like from, yeah, I can answer this question for you, Jesse. Cause I watched that mini documentary. Yeah. When they come above ground for their stuff, they get whatever, they get access to the internet again, and they can just kind of like. Download everything that they want for the most part.

Starting point is 00:21:28 How come we don't have underwater wifi? I bet you we probably do. It would have messed with the dolphins. I don't think so, man. I think it's, I think it's, I think it's Tom Clancy and Final Fantasy, dude. I don't think there's anything else. I think you're just, I think you're right. Tom Clancy and final, that's it.

Starting point is 00:21:48 So all there is Tom Clancy and your old copy of Final Fantasy nine. And that's all you got down there. That's my desert island desk, baby. Dude, what's if you, if you don't even care about the documentary, the one part I would recommend going to watch is how the cooks work and how they handle pizza nights where they cook for. Yes, I've seen that stuff. It's awesome.

Starting point is 00:22:08 Where does it go? Crazy to see how they manage food on a ship. The way they stash it, it's just like on top of the heat. Like when they cook, like, you know, you need a hood, like they have an oven. I know, but like, where does the heat go? I imagine there's like a ventilation thing and just like even putting it on like a metal thing on the outside of the sub, the water, which is like liquid water above you at all times.

Starting point is 00:22:31 You know, that's true. That's crazy. All right. Well, you know what else is dangerous out there in the, in the Great North and the waters, a mythical creature by the name of the adleth gentleman ad lid ad let ad let ad let ad let. These are a race of creatures in the Inuit mythology of Greenland specifically, as well as Labrador and Hudson Bay coasts, like that area is where it originates

Starting point is 00:22:56 from. The word kind of refers to the inland Native American tribes, but it denotes a sort of what you would consider a, what is that? Half horse, half man, centaur, but it's a dog centaur. So these people are dog legged people. The lower part of the body is a canine and like that of a dog, but the upper part, this image in the chat is wild, dude. It looks, it's exactly what you say, but it looks like it's about to like, this is what's so good about having Dean.

Starting point is 00:23:27 It's like about to give me a quest in an adventure game for Windows 95. That's an ever quest. That's an ever questing PC right there. Um, these, uh, yeah. So they're like, so the description that, that it gives is kind of both of a man who can stand on its haunches, as well as the type where their bottom four legs are like of a dog. Is it, are they always like, I wear clothes on the top half like this?

Starting point is 00:23:53 They're portrayed as human, but no, no. Well, yes, they are, they are wearing clothes, uh, most of the time, usually like a fur coat or something along those, it'd be really good for them. If they were probably all dog, it'd be better for their survival. If they were all animal, they're like intelligent, non-monstrous, they're like a civilization. Well, no, they're monstrous. They're intelligent, but they are monstrous as well.

Starting point is 00:24:13 And you knew it, Lord. The image we have while hilarious. The other images I'm seeing online are like full on werewolf men. Yeah. Yeah. They're monstrous in a lot of ways. So like, you know, we got the goofy version that was like, this guy's pretty monstrous, NPC.

Starting point is 00:24:27 I don't know. He looks like an elf standing on the back of a dog. He looks like if you typed his name in, in, in Carta, that's what would show up. Yeah. Yes. Yes. That's a fantastic description of this thing. Uh, but no, you are, they are intelligent, um, but in their lore, they are

Starting point is 00:24:45 often portrayed as in conflict with other humans and they're supposed to be taller than the Inuit and white people. But in those stories, they're often conquered or beaten by the humans themselves. Uh, in other stories, they're actually portrayed as cannibals. The Labrador people use the term Adlet while the Hudson paid people use the word Erky did blit. Yep. Erky did blit, uh, ER, Q, I, G, D, L, I, T, uh, you know, I'm doing my best here.

Starting point is 00:25:14 I'm going to, you, you say this boys, you know, or kid, like, like, yeah. See, you guys are, like, sounds like a Pokemon now. So it's kind of, I don't know. I don't know how to speak this language though. I'm just, I'm just based. I'm just trying to pronounce the letters. We are definitely guessing. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:25:32 Yes. Uh, absolutely. Um, moreover that these dog people, uh, you know, starting nights in light, there's not a whole lot more to their lore other than they were more representative as a warning to dealing with outside tribes or people across the, you know, across the sea, um, that they were just like, you know, a mythological creature to tell kids not to wander out too far. Not a lot of, not a lot of, uh, yeah, they're just more scary.

Starting point is 00:25:58 A lot of fights, their, their story is always in conflict with the humans and the humans always win. And that's kind of like the basis of what they are, uh, as a mythological creature. How are we going to rate these creatures? We got to rate them. We always do a rating. Uh, we need to rate them one to 10. Would you want to meet them alone at night in the wilderness?

Starting point is 00:26:16 Okay. Perfect. Uh, all right. I like that. Okay. Boys wanted to attend the ad lit or the earth dig lit. Would you want to meet this alone at night in the woods by yourself? The first guy in Karda guy 10.

Starting point is 00:26:28 I want to meet this guy in Karda 10. I'm going to get five goals from him at the end of our quest. The game is going to be great. Yeah. Uh, but all the other ones, like this one that I sent you that looks like a hell hound wolf man. No, I don't want to see it reverse. I want to see that.

Starting point is 00:26:42 That's a one that's terrifying. Yeah, I don't want to see him. I kind of, I'm interested in the way that I would be interested if I saw a lion killing something in real life, but I would not want to be there. I have a little taste for you boys of a little bit more lore to this particular person, this particular thing. It's very, very ad lit. This is yeah.

Starting point is 00:26:59 The ad let's origin story is according to myth. A woman gave birth to 10 children, five were dogs and five were adlets. These hatch breeds. Yeah. A woman, uh, they bore. Yep. A woman, they bore the lower halves of a dog's body in the upper half of a man. Terrified.

Starting point is 00:27:18 She set five of them adrift in the sea. These five managed to cross the Arctic and Atlantic and day. And these are the things that spawned to the European races. So this is like their mythological, uh, European, the other five children that stayed white people, kind of. Yeah. A little bit, uh, deserved with the like the consistent, I'm sure fights. They are getting into them.

Starting point is 00:27:39 I'm not the other. I have no, I have no qualms with this story. Yeah. The other five children that stayed with their mother became ferocious, flesh eating canine hominids who would attack anyone they encountered. The adlet and their offspring offspring also called Adlet now wander the tundra and packs seeking out inuit villages to feed on. It's very dark souls that they're incestual.

Starting point is 00:28:01 Yes. Super dark souls. I can definitely see this in a dark, very nasty, uh, very scary. You could play, you could build this out. This is a great, like D&D monster potential. You know what? That should be one too. What kind of potential does it have for D&D?

Starting point is 00:28:14 Oh yeah. I think it's cryptids are like really neat. A great source for D&D monsters. Okay. With that addition, one to 10, what are your ratings? Meet it alone in the woods. Yeah. I mean, still, still a one unless it's that MPC guy, in which case I attend

Starting point is 00:28:29 100% 10, I'm going to bump it up to a three out of morbid curiosity. Cause I got to catch a glimpse of these big fangs. That dude would eat you so quick. He'd be like, delicious. Maybe not. He's got clothes on. He's not a fucking barbarian. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Starting point is 00:28:43 The one that you're talking about, that's a 10. The one that I'm talking about, that guy will eat your soul. He's got a clothes. Oh, no. He's got a little, he's got a cloth. I, I, I can't rate it that low, boys. I got to go six. And here's the reason these boys are suffering from modern day problems

Starting point is 00:29:00 of the greatest degree across the world, fatherless upbringings. What? And we need to make sure that these boys who grew up without a dad. What? Get a father. So I will be, you want to become this guy's daddy? Well, yeah, because fatherless upbringings are the cause of all bad things, especially in the U S.

Starting point is 00:29:18 So we got to make sure that their dad is like a hot take. You're doing, or is this a goof? I can't tell. I don't know what's about to happen on this show. Hey, little B. I don't know. I don't know where have you been on the internet this weekend? Were you on the internet?

Starting point is 00:29:29 I'm never off the internet, Jesse. Were you, were you on that part of the internet where things are like a little, I watched that John Stewart interview and it was hilarious. Where he interviewed that guy and he was like, you know what? The problem is not guns, fatherless sons in America. And that's, you know, it was a joke. So these boys, you know, need a father, I will be that father. And you want to be their daddy?

Starting point is 00:29:51 Cause I could shack up with a woman who give birth to like, I could raise an army of women. How does it always end up with you having sex with these monsters? That's, yeah, that's what, that's, that's, that's, thank you. Thank you. That's what I was getting at. All roads lead to Rome or whatever it is. I want to know if you want to be a father figure or a daddy.

Starting point is 00:30:07 That's what I'm asking because I know you and I feel like somehow you're going to be like, I'm here to help you with my dick. I'm just asking questions. I would never put that upon the children. Okay. That's heroic. No, I like that. And there to be their dad.

Starting point is 00:30:23 And if the other thing comes to pass, I won't resist. That's not what being a father is. That's not, that's not how father works. Take them. We're going to go throw baseballs outside. You know, we're going to go do tennis matches in the courts. I'm going to teach them how to basketball by themselves. He hit us with the Omnis V.A.

Starting point is 00:30:41 Roman or whatever. Yeah. The next cryptid is known as the nut luck. This is a man of the bush. UK. L.E. UK. Correct. Correct.

Starting point is 00:30:52 Look, look, this is a crypto zoological hominid reported in national park reserves near Nihonibut, the Northwest Territories of Canada between April and June of 1964 by John Baptist, several men in a boy named Jerry. So we know this is God damn it, Jerry, several Dean and four, uh, several Dean and Fort Leard, who were trapping at a river reportedly came upon the creature in April of 1964. It's kind of looks like Bigfoot, basically, but less ape-like and more neanderthal. This just looks, this looks like a fucking caveman with shoes on.

Starting point is 00:31:32 It's like, it's like the guy from the like ill, ill-fated ABC caveman sitcom based on the commercial, bro, those commercials were, how did that not turn into a TV show successfully? Timberlands on. I need you to know for those of you at home who are not looking at this photo, it might be the first one you find me look up, nut luck, but oh my God, it looks exactly like a caveman, but he's in a pair of kind of rundown Air Force ones with no shoe lace, where in Timberlands.

Starting point is 00:32:06 Yeah. And then the other one is just a bigfoot with a dick. It's like, it's like a bigfoot with just like a less hairy dick than most apes you would imagine might have. I will, I will say out of all the big feet we've seen, this is the only one I've seen with a dong. Yeah. Yeah, you're totally, you're totally right.

Starting point is 00:32:26 That is just a big foot with a dick. When you go back to your bigfoot topic, Alex, you better bring in the nut luck, microthymethology, they need to show up. This is what happens when the Neanderthal DNA gets their own bigfoot. You know what I mean? Okay. In 1960, it was in June of 1964 near Fort Simpson at about nine PM. A boy named Jerry reported a similar looking creature.

Starting point is 00:32:49 It had black hair on its head, upper body and legs and a black head slightly pointed at the back. It also had a long brown beard that reached its waist. It wore ankle high boots, a moose skin loincloth, possibly moose skin boots and had a stone club in its hand. These creatures have been reported for hundreds of years and are said to have boot like footprints and whistling calls. They have been reported from the Northwest Territories to Yukon to the

Starting point is 00:33:16 Kenai Peninsula in Alaska. Is this concept art for the giants from Skyrim? It is very close, dude, like that. That is a great, I wonder if that's what the inspiration actually was. Or I wonder if these, there really was a big, giant kind of club wielding type of hominid at one point. I always think about big people, big people. Seems like one of those ones that I'm not totally off the, off the wagon on.

Starting point is 00:33:45 You know what I mean? I don't know. I don't know. It seems possible. I don't know. He's wearing shoes. The man is wearing sneakers. They make their own moose skin boots.

Starting point is 00:33:56 That is some high quality. That guy's doing better than, I don't know, most shoe companies. He gives you 6,000 experience. If you just shows you capitalism is the wrong system and we should be living like the knucklucks. That guy looks like he has all his shit sorted out. That's all I'm going to say. That's, that's confidence.

Starting point is 00:34:13 I think you and me are on our way to being honorary knucklucks. I'm on my way for sure. I got to, you know, I'm trying my best, you know, it's my brand to have a beard, but it's going to get shaved soon. I just, I always get off on the seasons. I always have it short during the winter and long during the summer. So this year I purposely let it go. I like that planning.

Starting point is 00:34:32 Yeah. So, you know, like a month or two. Oh yeah. We got to rate the knuckluck. Uh, you know my rating on this one. Oh, knuckluck is a, is the same rating as any big foot for me. Oh, one across the board. I would, no, no, I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:34:45 A 10, a 10, a reverse 10 across the board. I want to hang out with this dude. Yeah, for sure. I mean, like again, I have the curiosity. It's there. I'm going to say six or seven just because it's given me the energy of like when I see like a homeless guy's penis, like in real life today. Well, they wear a loincloth.

Starting point is 00:35:03 According to law is not sufficient. Like it's good, but like if there's a car nearby or a, you know, a particularly powerful gust of wind, I'm seeing the dong and I, you know, and that's, that's a risk, you know, that's all I'm saying. Well, just so you know, these things are apparently only about five feet tall too. So they're not like Paul, like big foot. They're short. That's even, that's even weirder, man.

Starting point is 00:35:26 Love it. I want to hang out with this dude. Now I'm just a minute. Now, now they're like a little weird, like why are you like Charles Manson guys? No, this dude's a sneakerhead like me. He, he and I would have stuff to talk to you. He's a sneakerhead like you get them Air Force ones. He's like, I was on the sneaker app and I couldn't get it.

Starting point is 00:35:40 And I'd be like, I know, I know. Yeah. Yeah. If we ever crack like big money, you know, we make it big. I'm going to, I'm going to first form a team to find these things. No. And then I'm going to hire them as bodyguards. No.

Starting point is 00:35:53 If we ever make it big, you guys owe me a haunted house. Don't do that. Don't, don't, no, by the way, so update on that. Thank you for reminding me. I did reach out to the local haunted music, not museum hotel nearby the brothel. They don't exist anymore. They are though they exist, but they're selling it. They're not taking people only $500,000 to buy it.

Starting point is 00:36:11 If anybody out there, wait, this is the brothel, the haunted brothel, the one near me. Yes. Is the haunted broth is the one where the ghosts are hot. Yes. The one where the ghosts hit on you and they're like, Hey, good looking. I don't remember if it's this one or not. I remember, I know what you're talking about, but I don't know if it's that one.

Starting point is 00:36:27 Well, that's, I don't, the first one we need to go to is the haunted brothel where the ghosts sit on you. I want a ghost to be like, nice. Yes, Jesse. With fuckable ghosts. That's not what I said, but you know, he's, you know, he's, he's bringing to the next, that's not what I said at all. I'm bringing it down to the layman's phrase.

Starting point is 00:36:45 I can't find it. All right. We got to move on. The layman's phrase. It's, it's, I coined it. Uh, one out of 10 for me is a 10 or seven. Okay. Got it.

Starting point is 00:36:53 I'm a 10 just like Jesse. Uh, all right. So Amorak, this is basically a giant mythical wolf in the Inuit religion said to stalk and devour any person foolish enough to hunt alone at night. That should answer your question. Instantly on where you're rating this thing. Unlike wolves who hunt in packs, Amorak's hunt alone is like a fucking magic card. This thing rules.

Starting point is 00:37:17 Hell yeah. Okay. Dude, yeah. The pictures of it are sick. I love it. Yeah. That, that looks so fucking cool. I shouldn't let like one artist's rendition, like color my understanding of it.

Starting point is 00:37:26 All the ones I've seen are cool as hell though. Why does the second one look like a trace of the first one? Oh, it's fan art of the first one. This is writing in the 19th century, Danish geologist in Greenlandic scholar Heinrich Johann's rink reported that the Greenlandic Inuit reserve, the word Amorak exclusively for this legendary wolf, meaning they don't use it for any other type of wolf, whereas the Arctic peoples, however, use it to refer to any wolf. So depending on who you're speaking with, it can mean multiple things.

Starting point is 00:38:02 In the book, tales and traditions of the Eskimo rink recount several folk legends that feature the Amorak in one tale, a persecuted and physically stunted boy seeks to increase his strength when he calls out to the Lord of strength and Amorak appears and wrestles him to the ground with its tail. This causes a number of small bones to fall from the boy's body. Amorak tells the boy that the bones had prevented his growth. He instructs the boy to return daily in order to develop his strength. And after several days of wrestling with the Amorak, the boy is strong enough

Starting point is 00:38:32 to overcome three large bears, thus gaining him the esteem of his village. That's a fucking bad ass story. And that also feels very dark souls in a lot of ways. It's like flavor text one like it's like perfect. Yeah, I love that. That is so sick. One other story. A man mourning the death of a relative hears reports that an Amorak is nearby.

Starting point is 00:38:53 He and a relative go in search of the Amorak. They find instead her pups and the mourner kills them all. The mourner's relative becomes frightened. The two retreat to hide in a cave. Looking out, they see the adult Amorak returning to her pups, carrying a reindeer in her mouth. When the Amorak fails to find her offspring, she hastens to a nearby lake and drags a humanoid form from the water. At that moment, the mourner collapses.

Starting point is 00:39:20 The Amorak, quote, from which nothing remains concealed, took the mourner's soul. Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah, damn, dude. That's like from which nothing remains concealed. Yeah, that's fucking great. That's dark souls. That's like a secondary like weapon effect. That's like unique legendary on an item.

Starting point is 00:39:40 I love the Amorak. It's like you said, it almost feels like a classic like kind of fantasy almost in that grimy grim dark kind of way. I love it. Love it. Love it. Love the fan art of it. You know what's crazy? That fan art that you sent is absolutely terrifying. Yet, hold on. This image, I know you guys about to be like, one, don't want to see this thing.

Starting point is 00:40:03 But look at this bad boy. If I saw this at night, I'd be lured to my death. That's fucking that's cool as shit, too. Yeah, that's that thing looks amazing. That's when Homer eats the weird pepper that drives his when he has to put the wax in his mouth to take the crazy psychedelic. Now, if I saw that guy, I'd be like, let's go. Yeah, that's trippy.

Starting point is 00:40:22 This guy for me, same as the first one, like I have some morbid curiosity. Do I want to see this? What I want to run into this? No, but like I'm like a three. I like I'm tantalized at the hard one. Hard one. I heard he was out there. If I heard he was out there, I'd definitely be peaking. I'm just saying hard one.

Starting point is 00:40:38 I'd be peaking. Hard one. Huh? I'm going to go with a hard one, too. And I don't know why I came out of my mouth like that. I'm going to go spend too much time in Texas, baby. Yeah, I mean, you know, Texas and the text out Italian accent. I love it.

Starting point is 00:40:55 All right. Here's another one. This one's much shorter than the other ones. This is the. And again, I apologize. Juke, not back. I'm going to copy paste the name so you can also make your own attempts. I don't like that you said, Nark in there.

Starting point is 00:41:09 Narpak, Narpak, Udyuk, Udyuk, Narpak, I don't know. Yeah, this is basically just a giant. And by giant, they mean human sized, predatory aquatic rat. Oh, a human sized aquatic rat that lives under the ice and it overturns kayaks and other small boats to get its food, a.k.a. the person. This is like Princess Bride. What do they call rats of unusual size or whatever?

Starting point is 00:41:35 Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. In addition, this beast has tough skin that is very difficult to penetrate and it also has a long prehensile tail that it uses to grab its victims, drag them under the water and drown them. Oh, that's that's way worse. That yeah, it's fucking a little weird. How big is it? How big is it?

Starting point is 00:41:56 Human sized, so five to six feet. Five feet. Yeah, at least five feet. Oh, no, this is like hippo sized. I yeah, it's have you said to Dean get a yeah, there's a picture of it from Dean. I love having Dean around here now. It's why does he look like he's been hung and revived? He doesn't look like a weird thing around his neck in that image.

Starting point is 00:42:14 Yeah. Yeah, he looks like he's been to the hangman's noose. That's fucking crazy. That thing that thing is like the size literally of like a rhinos, like like a rhino, like baby rhino or like a like a hippo. This thing is huge, man. It's big. It's like a horse. To give you an idea of like maybe this is actually based off something that may have lived at one point.

Starting point is 00:42:37 There are known huge size rodents from long ago, three million years ago during Pliocene and early Pleistocene, a rodent called Joseph Artigasia, Monosie Monosie. Monosie. There's no no no. No, there's Monosie Monosie. Monosie. What is this? M.S. paint ass version.

Starting point is 00:43:00 I found a version. Oh, yeah, this. Yeah. Is this what I think it is? No, not the version I've seen. I actually haven't seen the version. It looks like Templeton the Rat from Charlotte's Web getting taken out by some Lilliputians. What the fuck is that?

Starting point is 00:43:18 This is the version I initially came across. I found an image that's an M.S. paint. And it's what I, you know, what I thought. What the fuck is that? He said he I'd under a canoe. Yeah, he's a kayak kayak. Yeah, he looks dead, I'll be honest. But he also looks like he has a cybernetic piece on him.

Starting point is 00:43:34 I like the M.S. paint wounds and there's just like a dead guy in the dinodamage fucking crazy. I love it. So yeah, during that period, this is the how you spell it. Let me give it to you. You guys in the Manette, the Monosie. You can't stop saying that. I can't stop saying that.

Starting point is 00:43:54 Forch asia, Monosie. That's the scientific name for this thing. Rome, South America and was the size was known to be the size of an African buffalo. This is a real creature. Yes, it is a real creature. So you think this is like one of those situations where like they found the skeleton? I mean, I don't know. I'm just not what I'm saying.

Starting point is 00:44:11 But almost like Loch Ness always like kind of locks on to like, oh, it could have been this old lizard that would have been around. Or something like somehow super evolved prehistory. Kind of. Yeah, exactly. But that's it. Just I wrote rodent that turns over kayaks and drowns people with its prehensile tail that sometimes looks like it has armor on it, depending on the picture. Yeah, that last one looked like it got like level two.

Starting point is 00:44:33 Like it got like like like a like a stage one evolution. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One out of ten alone in the woods at night. This is an aquatic. Yeah, no, this is alone in the woods. Anything aquatic is a one. No, you're in the woods. You're not meeting it in the water.

Starting point is 00:44:48 You're not at home time out. You're telling me if you were in the woods at night and aquatic beasts showed up, you would be very concerned about your situation. I mean, I might be very confused. Like what is happening right now? I I I'm going to say like a six. Like I want to get a glimpse.

Starting point is 00:45:06 I'm not trying to like go up to it and like feed it a fish or whatever. I just want to catch a glimpse with my binocs with your binocs. I'd like to be dropped into a football field sized enclosure with it so that I could slowly creep up on it and watch it from afar. I feel the same way, but I'm more of like a fool. I'm like a six for that. I'd be more willing to leave before you. Yeah, I'd be ready to get out of there. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:45:32 Vibes. All right. We're moving on to something else. This is the Egerok. I think I did that pretty well. E. E. Oh, E. E. E. E. E. Rock. E. E. Rock. E. E. Rock.

Starting point is 00:45:44 That's really hard for me for some reason. Anyway, this is a shape shifting creature from the Inuit religion that is said to kidnap children, but instead of eat them or like raise them as their own or turn them into hideous monsters, they run off, hide them and then abandon them forever. The kidnap your kids and just leave them in the in the wilderness. Yep. Yep. Yep. In like a hole, I will say a lot of this is along the lines

Starting point is 00:46:11 of all the other great cryptid things where it's like, don't go near the water. Don't go out at night. Like it's like good morals for your kids to get them to stay inside kind of kind of things like it's cold out there. Don't do that shit or the monster will hit you. The Adlet if the Adlet was the don't go outside the village one, maybe this one's the like somebody's coming for you.

Starting point is 00:46:32 Please protect your child at all costs. So what's weird about this one is that the last bit of it, like just like a general lore is that it's also said that the Inuk Sukkak Sugak Inuk Sugak. Anyway, they're like stone where they basically stone kind of like markers that they used to leave on the land that these, if the children could find them, would let them would lead them back home, which is a nice lesson to lead them back home.

Starting point is 00:46:56 But only if they can convince the Izharok to let them go. How do you convince them to let you go? That's a very good question. I'm going to read a little story for you and maybe it'll answer. Maybe it won't. We'll find out. The Izharok are said to inhabit a place between two worlds, not quite inside this one, nor quite out of it.

Starting point is 00:47:16 Inuit further south than the north boffin group used to hold to a belief that some Inuit went too far north in the chase for game and became trapped between the world of the dead and the world of the living, and thus became an Izharok. So like that's their people who went too far and got lost. According to the small handful of surviving elders in the south boffin region that know of these beliefs, the Inuit that are settled in Resolute and Gris Fjord are these shapeshifters or shadow people

Starting point is 00:47:47 because they went too far north. Some elders will avoid being in the presence of extreme northern Inuit fearing that they are the evil Izharot or another version of it. Tariaksuk, the home of the Izharot is said to be cursed and one will lose their way no matter how far or no matter how skilled or familiar with the land that they are. Interesting, interesting. So there you go.

Starting point is 00:48:10 They're like their hunters who got too far became trapped in between two worlds. And like, yeah, it kind of became like a weird, evil wild man. That's what happens when I play a monster on her eyes for too long. So it's you know what? Have you tried wild hearts yet? I need to play that. No, I haven't given it a shot. I got it still.

Starting point is 00:48:28 Yeah, this is like it's I guess it's less for children, even though they kidnap children. It's also like a duo warning story for hunters as well. Too obsessed, bro. Yeah. Yeah, don't get. Don't worry about the game. Don't get too greedy. And it's it's bizarre that the people that they were like other people from other tribes that they believed it.

Starting point is 00:48:45 Yeah, there's another picture. These look like Doctor Who bad guys. Yeah, there's another thing that's going to be very Doctor Who ish coming up. It's so it's those are those are horrific. They look, you know, it's crazy about them, though, like going along with the like overarching lore of the Chaluminati podcast. Squinty rise a little bit. Visitors from another world.

Starting point is 00:49:08 They kind of look like graze, don't they? Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's all I had to. Oh, don't they? Yes. And that's that's why the whole like idea that even Jesse talked about before that all of this might be one in the same one different part of the same phenomenon. You're really you're really living off of that. I'm so glad I gave you something. Well, no, because I you didn't give that to me.

Starting point is 00:49:35 It gave me pride that you came to that conclusion on your own. That's what I did. I got I like this is when the cult leader is like impressed with one of his acolytes, right? Yeah. I'm impressed that you came to that conclusion on your own, my son. It might be this idea if we really like, you know, there might be a little bit physical, a little bit psychedelic or like not earthly. It might not be real.

Starting point is 00:49:57 It might not be real at all. It could be something our own collective consciousness is. I mean, I wouldn't go that far. No, I just like I can I can there's a tangent and it's within grass. I know if I just got whistful. I just know I just remembered. Yeah, I just remembered some stuff we can talk about in the after. We can have a memory. Yeah, the Minnesota.

Starting point is 00:50:16 We got to talk about in the mean. So it's about AV lobe, AV lobe, rather. And like Avril Lavigne. Yeah, we're going to talk about we're going to talk about AV lobe. The there's another tweet that said that like one of the reasons it's such a slow disclosure is because people aren't ready for the woo side of it, meaning the side that deals with consciousness and what is consciousness. All right, let's let's get to the Minnesota.

Starting point is 00:50:34 Patreon.com slash shamanic pod. Patreon.com slash shamanic pod. So one out of ten, would you want to meet this thing? No, in the woods. But let me read you a little bit of what the description of this is. So the people who don't have a picture can understand. Basically, the name is your rock means shape shifter and an easier rock can appear in any form it chooses, making it very deceptive.

Starting point is 00:50:55 Their eyes will always stay red no matter what they shape shift into though, which is kind of a dead giveaway, I feel like their real form is just like that of a human, but their eyes and mouths are sideways. The book of Dutch writer Fjordje Zwaigetman says only the shaman knows the real form of the easier rock. When you are hunting somewhere that easier rock and habit, you will see them in the corner of your eye for a fleeting moment. If you try to observe them directly, however, they are completely elusive.

Starting point is 00:51:25 They are sometimes helpful, sometimes fatally deceptive. So I like to be a little deceiving assholes and lead you further and further away. Sometimes they're helpful though, which is very weird if they're evil, but there you go. Does that change how much you would want to meet one in the woods? I think I'm going to just have to decide that it's like the same thing that an alien encounter is. I'm just going to have to decide that's what it is and say it's an eight

Starting point is 00:51:49 and not be something that can destroy me. You know what I mean? I'm going to say this is a common encounter that lots of different people have filtered through this particular culture. And I'm going to say, yes, I do want to meet this in the woods. Eight. All right, I like it. I am with you. I would love to meet a shapeshifter.

Starting point is 00:52:06 I'm going to go eight as well. Yes, shapeshifter is an interesting thing to me. No, zero. Shapeshifter zero. She can be the redhead of your dreams. Yeah. And then eat me zero. Fair, fair. Because they just want to just want to be deceptive.

Starting point is 00:52:20 Yeah, hard zero. All right. Well, I mean, OK, they just want to be deceptive like that. Guys, I don't think they just want to be deceptive. She could roll the role play would be out of. Are we talking about fucking these things? I just want I'm talking about meeting them in the woods. I think Mathis is talking about fucking these things. I think everything we're talking about.

Starting point is 00:52:37 He's like, I'm just I thought we were just talking about running into them in the woods. I said, sneak up behind a bush and view at a distance with binoculars so that they didn't even know I was there. I'm talking about literally you walk in, you run into them in the woods. Do you stick around? I'm not talking about like you snooping or I'm not talking about like you go on a date with them. I don't know what's going on here. I thought the rules were well established.

Starting point is 00:52:59 If the two of you hit it off, though, there's no hitting it off. You walk in the woods, you walk into the woods. You're still a little scared to hear noises and then like this thing is there. Do you stick around? Yes or no hit it off. Yeah, I just want to see it. I want an opportunity to observe it in the natural world.

Starting point is 00:53:18 That's all I'm asking for. There's no sexual overtone for me here. I didn't say there was you said hit it off. What if you hit it off? You like what if you had to meet you? We got to go to the next creature. We got to move on. Sorry, we got to we got to keep going.

Starting point is 00:53:32 All right. All right. Amee Kuk is actually the name of the thing. I'm going to even put I'm going to literally how it sounds in the chat. There you go. Amee Kuk. This is a legendary creature for Inuit mythology. This monster is known to be from the Bering Strait of Alaska. The Amee Kuk is a cook. All right.

Starting point is 00:53:48 To have it your way is described as a huge heavy creature with slimy moist skin. And instead of legs as four human like arms and hands, which are for locomotion and capturing its prey, it is also said to be capable of borrowing underground and emerge in inland lakes. Supposedly, it preys mostly on fishermen and people foolish enough to bathe in the sea, but have also been said to consume large quantities of fish and seabirds. Is it really as human sea creature hybridy as it seems in this image? I'll give you the other photo I got of it.

Starting point is 00:54:23 I don't know where Dean's getting these photos, but I love them so much. Very, very good. It looks like a halfway between a sperm whale and a human. Here's the version that I. Oh, God. Yeah. This looks like like if a rancor was a chestburster alien. Yeah. I mean, that's yeah. Here's another rendition of it.

Starting point is 00:54:43 Like a fleshy rancor. Yeah. Like a rancor with like a lot of flesh. Yeah. It's like a fleshy, slimy. Yeah. It's fucking creepy. Although that one kind of what are those guys? The squigs in Warhammer, little tiniest. This this looks like a fucking tick or a flea or some shit zoomed in. I mean, it's underwater.

Starting point is 00:55:01 So, I mean, you know, it doesn't really matter too much. I bet you it's like a hippo, man. Those hippos underwater are fucking scary. This thing, these this just Google squigs. S. Q. U. I. G. But it looks like. Oh, yeah, kind of. Because it only has two legs.

Starting point is 00:55:14 Squigs only. This thing is squigs only have two legs, but this thing is full. All right. It's kind of squiggy. Oh, yeah, I'm with you. No, it does look like a squig. This thing, I feel like if you saw it in the woods, you'd have you would be an OK place.

Starting point is 00:55:28 You wouldn't get too much danger because it's not made for land. It's not made for land. It's very slow on land. It's all it's slimy. It's very much made for water. I feel like we're not understanding the assignment. Would you want to meet it alone in the woods? Yeah, it doesn't matter if it's made for land.

Starting point is 00:55:44 If you ran into this giant dude with fangs and claws and flesh all over him, you would be like, have experience to know that it's to know that it's real. Yes. And since I could probably get away from it, I would die before you wouldn't know, you think you could probably get away from a squig out of your mind. Yeah, not a squig and a meat cook. Same thing. No, this thing's like

Starting point is 00:56:07 glorby and big and gross and slow. We have where does it say it's where does it say it's slow? I mean, it doesn't. It just says all right. But OK, it's capable of borrowing underground, I guess. So maybe that's dangerous, but I don't know if we can borrow down like a video game character in like two seconds. This is like six for me.

Starting point is 00:56:27 Again, it's like I'm with I'm with Alex. I'm a little lower than Alex, actually one hard one. I want to see it five. I want to do it from a from behind a rock, you know, high up away from it, where it's not threat. One of the images is this guy on a rock looking down like, hey, what's up? You're this guy would climb that rock and eat your face. I want to have plenty of distance between me and him.

Starting point is 00:56:48 No reason for him to get involved with. I don't think either of you understand. Haven't you ever had a magical experience in the woods with like a bear or something like that? No, because I'm not stupid or far away. No, no, you know, I'm just it's happened. I you know, it's it's it's wonderful. It's nice. I can see it. It's not wonderful.

Starting point is 00:57:05 It's not that you you lucked out that bear wasn't hungry. I don't know. I'm just saying, you know, six. I'm a six. I'm a five. I think I'm with for the most part, though, I'm with you. Only once so far as the two of the sneakers that is worth hanging out with everyone else is trying to kill you. The Adlette and Carter version. I want him, though. I'd hang out with that, dude.

Starting point is 00:57:29 I'd let I'd be like, hey, you want to be in Carter version. Yeah, the nice looking one. Hey, you want you want to try Del Taco, bro? Come here. You think Del Taco would win over any of the cryptids? A hundred percent. Agreed. Yeah. You get him a cheesy bean and rice burrito. They are your friend.

Starting point is 00:57:46 That's bananas for that shit. Yeah, they'll go Gaga burger. Cryptids go for the for the for the double del cheeseburger with bacon. Oh, my God. Yeah, yourself. They actually just two normal Del Tacos. I think they're like a dollar nineteen. I'll set you right. I'll say you're right. Yeah. If you got less than ten dollars and you're in California,

Starting point is 00:58:08 head to Del Taco. You'll be fine. Yeah. You'll eat like a king. This is not a brand deal, but we love you, Del Taco. It could be, though. Please, please, please give us free food. Pitch on.com slash to money pod. Thank you. Thank you so much. All right.

Starting point is 00:58:19 This next one is kind of like the last Strictly Land one that I'm going to be covering here. And this is called Strictly Land. Strictly Land. Kikern Q I Q I R N. Kikern, Kikern. It's a large balled dog spirit and Inuit mythology from around the area of the of Baffin Island. It has hair only on its feet, mouth

Starting point is 00:58:40 and the tips of its ears and tail. Its presence will send a man and dogs into convulsions that are sometimes fatal. However, it is frightened of humans and will run away if an Anuga Cook sees it, which is just so you know, is an Inuit intellectual and spiritual figure in the Inuit. Shaman type. Yeah, like a medicine man, shaman.

Starting point is 00:59:02 So they're scared of those things. Yes, they're scared of they're scared of humans. They're scared of like human settlements and stuff like that. As long only if there's an Anga Cook around it will they run away. OK, a similar term also from Inuit mythology as a keelut, a malevolent earth spirit, which also appears as a hairless dog. Daniel Merker suggested that if it's caused by the Kikern or allusions to shamanic initiations,

Starting point is 00:59:27 this looks like if there was a resident evil thing. That's like a resident evil dog. This is like the snowtrooper version of the resident evil dog. This second one is like a fucking mummy dog. Yeah, yeah. This is a mummy dog. This is not even resident evil. This is just mummies alive if it was dogs. That's a mummy dog.

Starting point is 00:59:47 That is a mummy dog. Yep. Here's the problem. You're trying to sell us to me as being some sort of like, you know, dog creepy creature. These the Kikern are also a tribe in Final Fantasy 14. This is what I think of when I when I see them are these little guys. What the? And there's an entire tribe and they're like your best friends.

Starting point is 01:00:09 They hang out with you. This is a 10. I would love to hang out with them. Yeah, that's like a Final Fantasy 14 character. It is. They are. OK. They are. That's their name in Final Fantasy 14. I'm here for it. This one, I this is not a 10 for me.

Starting point is 01:00:23 You said in their presence, men and dogs convulse and possibly die, right? Yes, they're sometimes this one. This one, I will skip because like I say, I'm not a fool. I'm just curious. And if I in if there's a chance that I'm going to just in its presence, convulse and die and my dog's going to die. I'm good. This has been my five minutes.

Starting point is 01:00:44 Thank you. I see the rest to the senator from California. That's you, Jesse. Sorry, I'm busy looking at Kikern. They're very cute. What? So what's your it's a one for me. I don't want to see it. I don't want to turn into a zero. Ten. You're going to convulse into a fit, Jesse.

Starting point is 01:01:01 No, no, no, I play a lolofel. I'm not a human. Yeah, he's good. Oh, OK. So he's immune. That's how it works. I'm immune to it. Yeah, I'm immune to it. Huh? Yeah. All right. Well, good for you, I guess. I'm a I'm a zero on this. I'm a human. I'm a humanistic guy. You guys would die instantly, but I'm a cute, tiny chair boy.

Starting point is 01:01:19 The one that would literally cause you to die just from seeing it is the one you want to meet. Yeah. And I am lolofel. Some would say to my benefit. Well, on to the next one. This next one is we're on the we're on the home stretch. This one's for you, Jesse. Oh, boy. Calla pillow it.

Starting point is 01:01:37 Oh, quack. Oh, that's a cute. They are marine creatures from Inuit mythology. Nope, they are often described as having scaly and bumpy skin, not unlike a sculpin. It is said that this is some Cthulhu elder beast. Oh, it's a water people. This is out. This is out. This is it is said that these are ugly creatures.

Starting point is 01:01:57 OK, and they reek of sulfur, which is kind of weird because gray is reek of sulfur. The calla pillow is a child snatcher. No one really knows why these creatures love to take children, though. Perhaps they take children because they are lonely and like the company, or maybe they are like they like how kids taste. Maybe they eat them. Maybe this is another vaguely gray related creature that comes from under the water and kidnaps the fish.

Starting point is 01:02:22 Person of ducks, abducts children, abducts children because maybe they're lonely. Many stories of the calla pillow tell of them wearing either duck clothing or large pouches on their back to carry the children. The calla pillow hides in the ocean, waiting for children to play alone on the beach or near the breaking ice. Usually, the calla pillow jump out of the water and grab the children without any warning. Sometimes, however, you can hear them knocking under the ice.

Starting point is 01:02:50 That's creepy as hell. You like look down. It's like they're there, bro. It's a story to present cracking ice. Yeah, like I know. Yeah, exactly. Because when you walk on ice, that noise, that knock is the shifting breaking ice. Oh, that's genius. I love Dr. Who, too. Yeah, I know.

Starting point is 01:03:06 Some elders have said that if the ocean begins to become wavy in an area or steam begins to rise from the ocean, a calla pillow might be hiding underneath the water. It's literally a story to warn you not to die. Yeah, that's some great ass advice. Like don't walk on the ice. Don't get near the waves. Don't get near the steam.

Starting point is 01:03:22 Yeah, it makes sense. Calla pillow. These things are terrible. Oh, yeah, they're they're spooky. They're very spooky. They also kind of look like if you're going to do like a like Marvel villain. Yeah, you know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:03:36 Yeah, extremely scary, extremely scary. Or like a D&D thing. Oh, I'm still I'm still curious. I'm going to put it at like a three. No, this is a one. These things are terrifying. We're past childhood age, though. Like they're not going to scoop us up if we're near the ice.

Starting point is 01:03:51 If we pop and how big are they? I mean, they're like human size. Yeah, I'm I'm I think I'd probably take this thing. Yeah, I mean, I think I'd I'd I'd I'd give it a five. I would want to see it, but I don't want to puke because it smells so bad because they smell like sulfur. Remember? Very gray, which, again, is very gray alien, very gray alien.

Starting point is 01:04:12 Jesse, what was your ranking? Oh, one, these things are terrifying. You kidding me? Out of all the things we've seen, these actually look like monsters. They have the face of like one of the, you know, that meme, that scary meme with like the creepy eyes and the giant evil smile. Yeah, it looks like that. That's what's going on.

Starting point is 01:04:28 Yeah. No, thank you. Really, really spooky. Well, the other one looks kind of like Abe sapien in a sweater. I mean, yeah, there's one that looks like Abe sapien. That's one drawing. One is like the really the really like generous like MMO race version. I'm looking at the Google image search of this thing.

Starting point is 01:04:44 One looks like Grendel. Like these are not pleasant things. Bumpy skin. Although this one does look like our favorite character, Squidward. This guy is just Squidward. Yeah, well, Bob. Oh, no. Look at him.

Starting point is 01:05:05 Oh, my God, it is Squidward. He's like, I hate snowball fight, SpongeBob. All right, boys, I'm going to end this one with the just one more. And this is maybe the creepiest one for me, though it may not be what I would consider like the classically scariest one of them all. This is called the Ningen, N-I-N-G-E-N. This is one that is still being reported on today.

Starting point is 01:05:28 And over the past few years, rumors have circulated over in the Japan area about the Japanese. Yes, of Arctic humanoid life forms inhabiting the icy waters of the Antarctic, reportedly observed on multiple occasions by crew members of government operated whaling research ships. These so-called Ningen, which means human, are said to be completely white in color

Starting point is 01:05:54 with an estimated length of 20 to 30 meters. Can we get a translation on on that in feet, Dean? Because I don't know what 20 to 30 meters is in feet. Use Google, because I don't know. What is that, like 90 feet? It's got to be big. 20 meters is 65 feet. OK, so 20 to 30 meters is fucking huge. Yeah, eyewitnesses describe them having a human shape,

Starting point is 01:06:17 a human like shape, often with legs, arms and even five-fingered hands. No way. Sometimes they are described as having fins or a large mermaid like tail instead of legs or even tentacles. The only visible or identifiable facial features are the eyes and mouth. According to one account, crew members on deck observed what they initially thought

Starting point is 01:06:38 was a foreign submarine in the distance. When they approached, however, it became clear from the irregular shape of the thing that it was not manmade and it was what I was thinking about. This is what I was imagining earlier when I was describing like weird, am I seeing this snow creatures? Yeah, man, the creature quickly apparently disappeared under the water when they got close.

Starting point is 01:07:01 This got a ton of attention and the popular thread attracted the attention of many readers from outside the two channel community, which is where they initially got posted. And the November 7th, the November 2007 issue of M.U. magazine, a Japanese publication devoted to the study of paranormal phenomena, which featured an article about the Antarctic humans. The article speculated on the possibility

Starting point is 01:07:24 of unidentified creatures inhabiting the Southern Seas, and it included a Google Earth screenshot showing what looks like a Ningen in the South Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Namdia. Namibia. Sorry, I apologize. There you go. Namibia is correct. To date, you got it. To date, no solid evidence has been presented

Starting point is 01:07:42 to confirm the existence of the Ningen. The government is believed to have kept detailed records of the sightings, but they have released no information to the public and have reportedly instructed eyewitnesses to remain silent. Very, very similar to how we believe the U.S. government handed like Roswell and things like that. Did you guys see the picture of the Google Earth one? If not, I'll get it for you right now.

Starting point is 01:08:03 But this is the only photo that supposedly might be one of these things. It's not. I mean, this looks like the ex files. The other one that we have, though, looks pretty good. I don't know if that's artist rendering or what, but yeah, artist. I think that's an artist rendering. I don't know where Dean got that from. But yeah, these both these these are these are pretty much what I was imagining. This is like, is it snow?

Starting point is 01:08:28 Is it a thing? Is it like a psychically controlled pile of ice and snow? You know, I don't know. It's weird. It's weird looking. I mean, the fact that it's like supposedly like alive and it like that disappears under the water if you get too close is creepy. That's like my whore. My worst fear when it comes to like deep water is like things you can barely see. And then they just disappear. No, no, that's right. That shit.

Starting point is 01:08:51 Here's the problem, though. Like always, when we find these images, I find one that makes me think maybe it's not so bad. And I'm just going to send this to you because this thing sucks. This thing sucks. This dude is like this dude's like welcome to the water. Oh, hi, everybody. It's me. But the problem is like you meet in the woods.

Starting point is 01:09:13 Yes. Is it a scary? Yeah, you know what? Still zero because it's like kaiju sized. So never mind. Yeah, this thing's huge. I don't want to need this thing. It's too. It's a one. It's psychedelic. I'm I'm I'm this is my like this is my classic six. I got it. I got it. I want to be I want to catch a glimpse. You got to see it.

Starting point is 01:09:30 I don't stay 400 feet away. You know, I'll see what's up. I'll be ginger. What? I don't get what? What do you mean you'll be ginger? I'll just be up. I don't want to be excited. I just want to see it. You know what I mean? I don't want to you know, I want to have about as much interaction with it as a lion has at the zoo.

Starting point is 01:09:45 You know what I mean? I don't want to bother it. I just want to see it. I mean, it might not notice you because you're going to be so small compared to it, but you might get stuck. I just want to do it. You know, I'll be I'll be as safe as I can be. You know what I mean? Everything requires a little risk.

Starting point is 01:09:58 I mean, I can't lie. If they were like, hey, man, there's a cryptid going to be out here. You want to see this thing? I would be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. Yeah, exactly. All right, I'm going to bump it to a three. I don't know. I'd still be scared for my life, but I'd go do it. There you go.

Starting point is 01:10:13 And boys, that's where we're going to wrap up our little episode here on the Inuit peoples. And that's not all of them. That's a lot more some of the Inuit peoples mythological creatures from their religion and as well as some cryptids in the area and one Japanese one of the area. And I just their creatures are freaking cool, man. Like we've done a lot of cryptid stuff and there's a lot of similar ones.

Starting point is 01:10:38 These felt unique in a lot of ways, barring the wolf. But the way the wolf dragged the soul out of the fucking pond to kill the dude was metal as hell. That's cool. I really like the Ningen. I thought that was neat. That's my favorite really like that captured my imagination. Right. Yeah, me too. It's very imagination snatching all of these, actually.

Starting point is 01:10:59 The other one, too, the is your is your it? Was it? Yeah, yeah, the Asia. I think that that one, too. That's another one that's like, what the hell? That's awesome. So what's your favorite one of this grouping? Then I'm going to go with the last one. We just did as the same thing as as a favorite one. I mean, like, look, the ones that look like they could be little Cthulhu

Starting point is 01:11:20 children are pretty cool, but they're not my favorite. Obviously, my favorite is the dude who is just sporting to his Nike's looking for a good time. You guys great. I love that. I love it. The Bigfoot, the Neanderthal version of Bigfoot. It's like the rare card he's wearing shoes because it's cold out there. Yeah. And he got mouskin shoes and they look great.

Starting point is 01:11:40 He could sell those and make money. He could adapt to the real world and jump into capitalist society. No problem. That's not what I was thinking. But that's it for today's episode, everybody. Thank you so much for listening. We appreciate and love your world. We're off to go do a mini-sode for patreon.com slash Luminati pod,

Starting point is 01:11:56 which is going to be me losing my mind about aliens. I know you that I can just that that's the only guarantee I can make. And then we're going to go record a rotten popcorn. And then next week, just a reminder, will be a mini-sode compilation. But for those of you who aren't part of the patron, patron, you know, brand new stuff for you guys. And we'll be back the week after that with episode one hundred and ninety nine. Holy crap.

Starting point is 01:12:18 Oh, OK, we're old, baby. We're old. We're old again. It's just getting started. Goodbye, everybody. Bye. You will. Anyway, me and my wife were sitting outside indulging on our porch one night, enjoying ourselves.

Starting point is 01:12:33 I needed to go to the bathroom, so I stepped back inside. And after a few moments, I hear my wife go, Holy shit, get out here. So I quickly dash back outside. She's looking up at the sky in the fall. I look up, too. And there's a perfect line of dozen lights traveling across the sky. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

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Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 197 - Cryptids of the Inuit People

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