Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 225 - Creepy Story Time with Alex and Santell

Episode Date: November 5, 2023

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Hello everybody and welcome back to the Chaluminati podcast episode 225. As always, I'm one of your hosts Alex Fossiani and today I am literally here. All by myself, Mathis is dinking around in one of two resorts in Florida. Last I talked to him, he was rescuing the All Spark. Jesse, I don't know what the fuck happened to Jesse. Jesse is having an old man time. He's busted up. He's not doing great right now.

So I'm here alone and luckily I brought back that crazy guy from a month ago in Sentel! Everyone, I am your substitute teacher. I'm Michael Santel. Please let's stick to the script today. Okay, let's not. Please don't act up just because I'm here. Okay, we can have a really fun class.

I want to get to know everyone. I want to know what you're about. Yeah, and speaking of Centel, Centel's gonna be with us just to get business out of the way up top, cause today we're gonna do a nice, this episode's gonna be called Seven Listener Stories with Centel Only.

Oh, but if you wanna see Centel in person, why don't you come out and see us in Los Angeles. Tickets will now be on sale. I think by the time this episode is live, tickets will be on sale for our show. On December 3rd at the Terra Grande Ballroom in Los Angeles with plenty of special guests, including Sandtale. I'll be there, I'll be in my Santa onesie.

Yeah, including Davis, another friend of the pod, and other secret guests that I haven't figured it in my shit out about yet. But this show's gonna be very different than the one in October. You have so many secret guest friends you could ask. I'm very excited for those names to come out. I've asked a lot of them and they've left me on res, but I will follow up. And in this show is gonna be a lot different than the show that we did in October.

Totally different new format that we're gonna try out with some new high-jinks. Speaking of that show in October, if you want to hear it, if you weren't there, you didn't have the money to come out to Los Angeles and fork over 30 bucks for the tickets or whatever it was. We have the show now live, we recorded it right off the board, and it's available now at a website that you already know Patreon.com slash the community podipod, the website you like, five bucks. That's for anyone. Anybody you'll have to be a patron to come by it for five bucks at patreon.com slash. You can do that. It comes with the PDF of Mathises, absolutely unhinged horny slide show. It has a video version that has the slide

show synced up to the audio so you can like watch it in time with us or with a slides change on time. It's a nice little package, it has art, it's great, it's a great little poster and you can get it and also please go buy tickets on ticket master for our show at the Tehran Ballroom on December 3rd, the Los Angeles, Michael Santel, how in the fucking you doing today? Hi Jinks is almost a Pokemon. It's all, you know what I mean? Hi, Jinks is like just Jinks if she fucking ground up a little bulb sore. Ha, ha, ha, ha, and fucking ripped that shit.

Like, you know, like when you don't want to burn your lungs, so you put a little ice in there. She would look like a Mr. Mime if she got too high. You know what I mean? Booty, booty, booty, booty, booty. I'm doing great. How are you doing? I'm doing great. How are you doing? I'm doing good.

Uh, I feel like we have sat in the tea that is David Grush and I feel like it just keeps getting weirder. Dude, it is getting so weird. Skiff, skiff meetings are occurring. And then people are being denied in the room. Yeah, like they took that picture of them, the walkin' out of the room, like Yetties, the DOD guys,

they're like, we will give you their names. It's like, oh, okay. Do you think it's like, they just wanna like, really annoy them so that they stop asking so that they like wasted their morning by calling them into a skiff meeting? And then being like, hey, thank you for coming down here. I'm glad you waited for three hours.

Fuck off. Get out of here. I can't guarantee you that everyone in Washington is thinking and dealing with Israel stuff and does not want has no time to talk with you about a legacy program from the 40s that actually is shaping our reality. Well, yeah, which may or may not be like the most important thing.

And then what's his name is out here? Like, uh, seems to me someone has some technology that's gonna change everything. And he's just talking out of his ass too. In the end. So, like, what the hell is going on here? The best part about this is all we got to do is wait. Because there's way too much pressure going on all over the place.

You know, it's interesting that we have a new, crazy speaker of the house, but who shit came out and said, no, you know, if all stuff is a go, and that was part of probably him saying, hey, I'll make you speaker, but you're gonna let me do this. I don't know, I don't know what was going on in there when they picked that guy, but it's weird.

But like I said, I've got seven listener stories for us today. This is gonna be just so you know what the vibe is. Think like improv teacher vibes on this where you can stop the scene and just give me some notes as we go. That's gonna be kind of the vibe of this as we go through since you've never done this before.

What are, what kind of stories are we gonna hear? Are we gonna hear ghost stories and bigfoot stories? Are we gonna hear like weird like penthouse forums? It was an airplane, it was dark at night. We like, we like personal stories, we like local color, we like, sometimes they send in dreams for us to interpret. Sure. Sometimes they, it's almost like a more classic

fan mail type reader response letter. Okay. Yeah, there's all types. They're all from our Reddit, our slash Chaluminati pod. If you wanna get on there, it's free, it's chill. It's actually funny. There's good times.

Our mods are great. Shout out, it's a good little place. There's actually quite a lot of activity on there. I actually hump that place. Reddit mods, quite a lot of activity on there. I actually hump that place. Reddit mods, what do I need to do? Do I just tell you I'm coming? Do I just post a bunch and then you find out it's me? How do I get a contact with you? They'll find you. Okay, okay. It's like the matrix in there. Okay, I'll tell them, I'll tell them the special code. I'll say, hey, this is Michael from The Matrix. Let's get this going. Now, I've sent you a list of stories.

You got it right here. Yes, I do. Thank you. Thank you for air dropping into me. I'm going to start with the first one, and we're just going to get right into it. These are all from Reddit. Like I said, this one's called, in my mom's words, listen to the voices you hear, which sounds like... That sounds like music.

That sounds like a show that would be at a museum. Listen to the music. Well, is that lyric again? What? Basically that lyric. And this is from a user, she who rides dragons. Oh, cool. Which is a cool username, yeah.

You got a whole theme park coming your way. So here we go. Before we again, also, I'm so sorry about my face. I don't know if you guys can tell that my voice is like completely fucked up, but the Santa Ana wins. They are here. And I was house sitting in Ontario. The windiest place that I've ever been. There was like my phone was like, watch out bitch. You're gonna

die tonight. It's it's especially poly me. And there's a there's a haze in the air today. Looks like a westerner outside. Kelly was like, Kelly was with me house sitting and she had to leave early to go to work. And she was like, I'm leaving. And then she was like, actually, now I'm leaving. I did get out of my car because a tree had blown over and I had to pull it out of the driveway. It's crazy. It's the windiest place that I've ever seen. Okay. It's the windiest thing that I've ever been. It's called the windy city. I've been told that many times. I was in Phoenix and there was like a mummy ass storm.

Sure. Like a wall of sand came. Oh, okay. Like a bubbra level of sand like when Arnold Voslo's face like Yeah, it was like that But it was just wind and I was at the like Japanese cheesecake place out in Ontario. It was fucking crazy It'll protect you from the scarabs. It was fucking nuts. I was having I was having a ha but no not ha but you What's the one? Tepp on yucky? Oh, okay like? Where they throw the shrimps in your mouth is that the difference?

Tepp on yucky as far as look now. I'm talking out of my ass. I think this is like Okay, like where they throw the shrimps in your mouth. Is that the difference? Tap on Yaki, as far as look, now I'm talking about my ass. I think this is like- I love me a Hibachi show. I like it, they do the heart, they do the Pac-Man. I think Hibachi is a barbecue though. They do the Thomas the Tank and J- What are we talking about? What's the name of that thing?

Benihana. Benihana, Benihana is like tap on Yaki, the flat top. Okay, like the metal, like diner style flat top. Okay, like the metal, like, like diner style flat top. What is the balls with octopuses inside? Is it the, I thought that was Tom. Oh, oh, oh, oh, no Miyaki. Okay, no, no, no. I don't know.

Oh, no Miyaki might be a pancake. It's fine. Let's get to these, let's get to these reddit posts. Yeah, all right, here we go. Before we begin, I'd like to introduce this story by saying that it's not my own. It is instead my mom's written in her words. It's always intrigued me and I hope it intrigues you as well.

The setting, rural Minnesota, the time to be revealed shortly. In order to the tale, this tale in full, my background should be known to enable you to see the era of time. Okay, this is like Leonard Neymoy. Yeah, this is a lot of thought being given to this story. It's beautiful.

I was born in 1960 to a family that ended up as 12. Mother, father, five boys, and five girls. Extraordinary odds mom was told. Yeah, that's like a Von Trap family. Yeah, I love that we're already characterizing mom. She already exists in the world that's good. Back when the world was smaller, she's done it.

Yeah, she has birth to many of human beings into this world. That's a surreal. That's a surreal amount of siblings. Back when the world was smaller, dirt roads with grass running down the middle and no neighbors within earshot. The property was said to have been a stage coach stop.

The wind would blow the sugar sand across the barren low hills, making you feel you had been transported into an oasis in the desert. Oh, yeah, there was nothing to do there except get with Bob. Yeah, being we had a hog farm slash garbage hauling business, there were always chores and you either worked outside or inside. I was an outside human. That brings us to the tale.

I've always started recently, the phrase outside people, inside people has just came into my lexicon and it's a really good way. It's accurate. Yeah, I'm an inside person. I'm like a blade, I'm like the day walker. Like I definitely get in my steps, but like I'm also the most,

you should see how stereotypically disorganized my houses for what type of guy I seem like I am. As long as I can get back inside, I'm okay with being outside. Yeah, I'm not. I need to know that there's an inside nearby that I can go escape to. You don't wanna be stuck out there.

I don't wanna be out there. Do you camp? I will occasionally go out in the wilderness and tent my own life. Yeah, I'll camp sometimes. But you go in the tent? Yeah, I always go in the tent. I will be, that being said,

our friend's grandmother gave her an RV, and I'm gonna let you know, RV Campin was dush- shit. I've never done that. Bro, you just go up there and then you get to make like pulled pork tacos because Rob was able to get the slow-corker working. I love it.

We like pickled all these onions. There was just like inside things we could do very quickly and then you get outside. It's like Pete from the goofy movie. It's like the stare, that's like the guy that I think of who owns an RV. It wasn't, there wasn't a dance floor inside of it, but I was dancing because I was so happy

that I could like sleep in a place for a bear could it get me. Yeah, that's, dude. Kelly's family, we went camping one time in May, did an RV and we did it, and we ended up sleeping in get me. Yeah, that's it. Dude, Kelly's family, we went camping one time in May, did an RV and we did it and we ended up sleeping in the car. Yeah, you messed up. Yeah, we messed up. All right, back to the story.

The tale. At around seven or eight years old or so, one of my first jobs outside was to help in the garden. What a joy it was. Mama and I pulling weeds, eating tomatoes. I had 25 or so plants to tend to and thinking back. It must have taken all day to do so. Should I say the end of sentences

like you like a Beastie boy song just to emphasize the sentence? Only when it's written with this level of like, fourth thought. Okay. I was always on the first one up and out the door. I was always the first one up and out the door. It was on these mornings quite so still

that you could hear more. More. One morning as I busied myself with a garden, I stood up to see someone coming up to me from the way of the hot hog lot, which was odd because the way he came was from only open farms and forest. As he drew closer, I was quite taken aback at first not because he was a stranger, but because of who he was. A tall, stately man, but as a child, everyone is tall, wearing a white feathered headpiece

that flowed down his back, slightly grazing the ground. The clothing he wore was also white, and I could tell it was leather by the smell, a heavenly odor. A dorned, in colorful beadwork that glistened in the rays of the rising sun. I walked towards him, thinking he was just another hired hand, and as many would pass through, I spoke first because I was upset with him. I said that he couldn't wear such beautiful clothes on the farm, and the feathers will be ruined, and you have to wear shoes when you're working with the hogs. He smiled, a heartwarming smile that I can still see today, and feel the warmth of. He turned and walked back the

way he came from. The next time he came back, he was smiling that same smile. He wore a single feathered band around his head of long shiny jet black hair, a vest with elaborate beadwork and no shirt and pants. Why am I thinking of Night Wolf from Mortal Kombat right now? I'm thinking of the legend of Bagger Vandes. Run very different pages right now. But he was still barefoot. Yeah, a lot like that. Yeah. I said to him that if I have to wear shoes, he had to also. I was mad because my mom always made me wear shoes. With that, he turned and walked away again. No words did he utter until the third day.

The day was cloudy, the smell of rain in the air. Most people don't like these days, but they always make me feel grounded to the earth. He always seemed to appear out of thin air. As I rose up from my work, he smiled, looked right into my eyes and said, When you walk in a forest, all the trees look the same, but when you look to the heavens, you'll see the difference, and you always find your way. As you walked away never to come again, I didn't realize how important these words would become for me until later in life, and it became clear why he talked to me.

What I learned from him then saved my life later on a scary winter night. When my mom talked to a scary winter night. When my mom talked to me about that night lost in the woods wanting to know how I could find my way out, I told her what I had learned from that hired hand. She looked at me, shaking her head, saying that we never had a Native American man working for us. Thank you for reading my mom's story. She had a lot of them and I hope you can share some more and I hope I can share more

someday, but it was hard enough getting her to write this one down so no promises have a good day and remember to look to the sky when feeling lost among the trees. We're entering holiday season and you know what that means? More meat in my mouth. That's right there's never a bad time for me to be placing delectable high quality, primo cut meat in my mouth. Because this is the time of year where you're just allowed to gorge on food and I'm going to have the most delicious of them all. Oh yeah, thank you to butcher box for sponsoring today's

episode. And that's really why I'm here. Because butcher box has all the meats that I need. I don't buy meat at the grocery store anymore because they deliver high quality stuff at oftentimes cheaper than what I can get at my the grocery store anymore because they deliver high quality stuff at oftentimes cheaper than when I can get at my local grocery store. Butcherbox has all you need for a tasty, stress-free holiday season with high quality protein delivered right to your door. You can even still order a turkey all the way up to November 12. Like if you're like a last minute person like I am, yeah you can, don't worry, they

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And a turkey, I'd thanksgiving. There's just, there's nothing, nothing, nothing better. That's the guy I'm telling you right now. I already ordered my turkey from Putra Box. That's because I'm gonna be eating out here in my own freaking Texas. It's my whole family's out in New England. I won't be out there. I ordered myself a turkey. Gonna cook that sucker up. I'm gonna eat it all to myself and then tomorrow I'm gonna probably have the worst stomachache I've ever had. It sounds like something you want to try and listen.

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One more time for you, butcherbox.com slash chill, promo code chill. Thank you so much to book your box for sponsoring today's episode. I feel I'm so cynical in terms of hearing tales of woe that I instantly, you know, it's like this is too well written. This is obviously somebody working on their pros. Like beautiful, yeah, beautiful job.

But then I get into like the story of it. Yeah. And then it's like, yeah, maybe this was a thing that shaped this woman's whole life. Like, she's a kid, like, I don't know, like I think about things that I remember from my childhood and like the significance that they have to me.

And there's no way that like the scary red faced man that leared down at me that I can still remember from when I was two years old. It was as scary and horrific as I remember it because I know that it's my dad's friend Rob. Today, I know that guy still today and he's not a fucking horrific monster but when I think of like what scares me in the world today,

I know that it's like this two year olds like fucked up version of Rob that scared the shadow of me. Yeah, that there's a man in the closet with a red face. Yeah, he's gonna get you. Yeah, exactly. And he's always following you. And it was just Rob with a sunburn at a barbecue.

Right. Yeah. That was that image that then becomes the thing. Yeah, so that's also like a Japanese demon. Yeah, exactly. So burned all red dude just hops out of jail. Like a fucking tangu-ass like with the long-awaited shit. Yeah, exactly. So burned all red dude just hops out of jail. Like a fucking tangu-ass like with the long legs. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know. Like I could see having some kind of interaction with somebody, but then the funny thing is, do they even say anywhere before that last time when they say that he wasn't, that we didn't have a Native American working for us, that the guy was Native American. There was a heavily implication with his pants

and his feathers and things like that. We assume that's why I was getting, you know. Yeah, he seemed a little mystical. He seemed a little dreamlike, right? Yeah, but it doesn't a good magician ever tell his, never show his whole head. Wasn't he gonna just be trying to do a show for one person? What do you think happened here?

That if this person didn't have a mythical experience with a spirit from yesterday, you know, that just inhabits this land. Yeah, where is the land? Rural Mont Minnesota. I don't know anything about rural Minnesota. It's nice. It's a nice place.

Lots of lakes. How were there indigenous people treated? I'm gonna just go out on limb and say, we probably fell short. Okay. I mean, it's interesting to think, I mean, it speaks to like, it makes me think of like the truth of that place.

Like, obviously, right, if this individual is appearing to her, like, this thing is then independent of her, because she didn't see something, right? She didn't see like something that like she would be programmed to see or something like that on the farm. Right. Like, she's just a kid. Like, why would she have that in her, like, in her like, mind zone already?

Right. Like, why would she have that imagery in her mind before she met this guy? Right, this is the 60s. Like, what is she watching on television that would give her this idea? Well, now that you put it that way, like, Tonto. Oh, okay, so you're saying that there was children's program in the forest.

I mean, I don't have a lot of ranger, right? Yeah. Like, Cowboys and Indians, like the like, classic, like, sort of stereotypical sort of. Who do you want to be in Cowboys and Indians, like the like classic, like sort of stereotypical sort of who do you want to be in Cowboys and Indians the camp cook? I was wanted to be the medic in in Red Dead Redemption There's a guy Pearson that you have to like feed all your like dead meat to when he makes a stew every once in a while That guy's my favorite guy in the whole fucking game I always wanted to be like a star Trek medic because I always felt like they like thought and then in a certain point They're like all right, I got to start healing people. I was wanted to be like a Star Trek medic, because I always felt like they like thought, and then at a certain point they're like,

all right, I gotta start healing people. I was trying to be Nielix as a boy. Yeah. Next ones to you. Santel, haunted pets, from user, mysterious underscore, resist, 4.5A. An Android. Oh, it's not a real person?

Yeah, that's a real person. Wait, how do you know they're an Android? I'm just, just the name sounds like a designation. I don't know. Oh, okay, okay. Uh, hi. Going to start this off by saying that I'm coming up on three years of listening to the Chaluminati.

Like someone. And it's been great entertainment for when I'm working. Speaking of work and using spooky season and upcoming Halloween to tell the story, it takes place at my work and feel free to use this on the pod Alex happy Diaz Taylor moirato to you. Did you build your altar? I did not I I would be Appropriating that culture if I tried to do it. I built up a built an altar got all my dead grandparent's ideas on there Oh my god, I got incense. I'll show you the pictures. It's great. Does it feel good?

It, uh, yes. I am trying to be more mindful of things in my life and to like have that thought and to see them all there and like burn incense and stuff like that. I'm thinking of them as like being there. Uh, just like the lineage of time. Yeah. I enjoyed it a lot.

I don't know enough about it to like, I just watched, I watched one TikTok video on the Reddit and PR article that I sent it a lot. I don't know enough about it to like, I just watched it. I watched one TikTok video on the Reddit and PR article that I sent it up. Happy 2023. But I've been doing altars now that I do tarot. So like that also spoke to me. So you just wanted to kind of, you put, you put different levels of boxes because like ones the heaven layer, ones the earth layer, ones like below. You then put offerings on there. You put water so they can like, like quench their thirst. You put out pandem, moerto, which is like Mexican sweet bread. You like, you put merry golds, because it like,

where did you get the bread? I just, I just kind of traded Joe's to the bread. I didn't have any bread. I didn't have that. And that I was like, well, if I'm gonna put, you know, if you give him a mouse a cookie, he's gonna want delicious patrons. I have a little patrone out there.

Yeah, I have a little bit of everything. That mouse is done for. It's done for, okay. Oh wait, I gotta tell you this now because it's too good. My dad has the story that. Is it a ghost story? No, it's just, he used to have a little bird, like a little parakeet,

and he had his buddy watch his house one day while he was like out of town to watch a football game or something. And the guy had a party at his house while he was gone. And when he came back, his bird was hanging upside down dead on his branch because somebody put vodka in the bird's water. Watered.

That's awful. He's like, it was horrible at the time, but thinking about it now, it's funny that that bird was just upside down on its own. It's a bird. It got so drunk. Yeah, he just went down.

Anyway, happy Halloween everybody. I wonder if the bird, like, just fucking loved it. Like, it was like, it was amazing, I'm gonna do a trick. And then like, maybe out? Maybe it, like it is amazing I'm gonna do a trick and then like maybe out maybe it you know what I was gonna say somebody weigh in but I don't want to know I don't want to know if you know don't don't talk I recently went on a vacation okay to Costa Rica okay when coming back through customs they have a whole room for birds

they had like it was like it's a bird detention and it showed like a tropical bird so many people sneak birds through the airport that they have a they're a dedicated room at LAX for birding. I just, I don't, I mean, I do, it's just money, but like in tubes, what a hilarious, what a hilarious idea. The expensive birds. Yeah. What are like, what are like crazy? I always think of this one professor that I had a Cal State Fullerton. I'm not going to say her name, but she was like a sort of eccentric film professor. And there was this place called the realto cafe. And she got kicked out more than once for bringing her like fucking gray parrot inside her jacket into the place.

And like they always see her like sticking bread inside her clothes and shit. And the gray parrot would probably say shit too. Right. 100%. This like they always see you're like sticking bread inside your clothes and shit and the great parent would probably say shit too Yeah, 100% it's like that's like things like a little talk I went to a birch on they had a gray African parent and when he's name was bros. Hey now. I guess it's a tiny voice Macron. Yeah, they're they're cut. They're smart as fuck D.P. Yeah, they're cut. They're smart as fuck. Deepie. Try to think of, I'm trying to think of, try to think of a jargon from the things the bird can say. Autor.

It's still me, I apologize. I worked at a pet cemetery. Now you can't just, what do you mean you work at a pet cemetery? Yeah, I work for Stephen King. We're getting in there. I mostly do ground keeper work like mowing in general ground maintenance But occasionally have to get into the grimy side of the job dealing with the pets

I'll leave most of that info out about a year ago. I was working on handling the The remains like the cremated remains the cremated remains down in the building where our cremated remains? The cremated remains down in the building where our crematory is run. And on and on one of the work tables near me, we had taken a dog out of a nearby freezer to thaw before preparing it for burial. The dog was laid out on its side with its arms and legs out as you would like to see if an animal was sleeping on its side. And the dog was frozen solid, which is to keep the body fresh and not nasty long before being buried. I kept thinking about dog...

Are they arms or are they legs? They're both. Yeah, I know, but it's not like... You're not like, oh my dog heard his arm, but his leg is fine. That's true, I would not say they have arms and legs. Yeah, but is it arms or is it legs? I think it's legs. Okay. I think dogs don't have arms. You don Yeah, but is the arms or is it legs? I think it's legs. Okay.

I think dogs don't have arms. You don't think they're little pot arms that they just, they, I feel like an arm is like you grab stuff with it and you like swing around. They grab the ground. They don't have thumbs. They can't grab anything. They don't have a possible thugs.

Yeah, they can't grab anything. Okay. This isn't like a hot dog sandwich situation. No, I don't think. Do dogs have arms? I think that, I know what you have feet. I think I know what you're talking about when you say dog's arms, but I don't want that

to be what it is. Okay, okay. I got, I got called to come help somewhere outside the crematory and was gone for maybe two minutes when I came back in the room, the dog was standing on all four legs upright as if in a defensive stance. What? But it's face is frozen, right?

So it's still just like God dead face. The whole dog, the whole dog was frozen. Oh, okay. After staring at it, dumbfounded, I worked up the nerve to go over and figure out how the hell it got in that position. Reminder, the dog was frozen solid where there is no way to put it in such a position

while frozen without mangling the poor thing. Does that mean it's heavier? Like you couldn't pick up a frozen dog? Well, like if you tried to bend its leg, you would like crack the bone and rip the skin. You're telling me a frozen dog. That's what they meant by defensive position. Not just that the dog was just like, slipped around. They're telling me they're saying this dog was frozen and on its side and then now frozen in a completely different position. Oh, that's, I would not go back in that room.

And separately, sidebar, if you're gonna go pick up your pets remain. Your honor, sidebar please. Yeah. If you're gonna go pick up your pets remains. I'll approach the pet. Do not go to this, do not go to the place where they do it. Yeah, I did that.

I saw some shit that I didn't want to see. It wasn't my pet, my pet was already, you know, properly cremated in a nice little box. But, whoa. Does it smell like chicken? No, because they're all... Like a smoke, like a smoke outside. No, but the smoke was like far away

that I couldn't smell it, but there was like tables with frozen dogs on them. It was wild. So you can attest that frozen dogs are left out in dog hospitals. No, no, pets cemetery or like a place where you process animal remains. They just don't do a pet cemetery, a big people cemetery. No. I do them at the end of the day.

You wouldn't want your grandpa to be buried next to a dog. If I'm gonna buy a dozen, I would like a bag of free dead dogs. Like, you're like, you're gonna be a dog for me. Like a street dog? Like if we're, no, if we're like very gray, I'm like, you could also do some dog services. I mean, maybe at a different lot. I don't want, I don't want my,

like bullfrog and berry next to my uncle. Okay, I mean, for enough money, they'll do it. They'll do it. But if it's okay, if it piggybacks on another, like if, if grandma had a dead frog inside of it, like you've already paid for the land. If you put, and a tiny, there'd be a tiny headstone, I'm fine with that.

Yeah, I'm fine with that. Like a hashtag, like you want to be buried with it? Like I'm fine with that. Okay. Yeah, I'm fine with that. What if the frog got limster though? And then we have to maybe like, it's like an ancient Egypt situation when you have to bury the frog. Yeah, we have to go. go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go I put the dog back on its side to continue thawing it before it was buried and go the hell out of the building for the day.

While it's not unheard of when something like that is thawing to extend its limbs and uncurl itself, as if it warms the position and placement is completely impossible for how cold and frozen the dog still was. And lastly, there was not anyone else in the crematory building with me. And the building is far away from the main office that it would have taken far too long for anyone to set the dog up like that without me seeing. I still have no idea what to think of this and still get pretty uncomfortable when it's just me working in the crematory with all the with all the past pets around me, but work is work. I hope anyone who reads this enjoys and has a very spooky Halloween.

I was an absolutely disturbing imagery story. It didn't scare them from the profession. This is a story that if someone's like, you ever seen a dog ghost, they're like, well, let me tell you what I have seen. I saw a frozen dog stand up. I saw a frozen dog. Uh, so let's, what is the implication that does the dog have a soul then?

Like do animals have ghosts? Like there was obviously a dog ghost that changed the body. You think it's like a frozen dead dog toy story situation? Or is it like a Shinagami situation where like this is a place of negative energy because of death So like ghosts can like Jew on something fucking weird happens. Just something weird happens And it's like they didn't really hurt anybody. I don't know that to me that story reads as like true to me because I

could never Think of those details. I mean, I guess maybe you would have worked in a dog creamatory, but like, I don't know, that's something about that one. It didn't go too far. I liked the essence of it. It felt real to me. The fact that they still work there, like it's still the best-paying job in the small town, but like sometimes you have to deal with like weird upside-down dogs. Some people are like, you know, some people want to have a like a colorful job. Like if I could tell that story anytime I was at a cocktail party,

I feel really cool. I mean, the log cod is to go work somewhere and go like, hey, I just want to intern. I just really want to know about this and then get the, and then see the dead dog. I'm like, all right, piece of that. What was the show called? Six feet.

No, six feet under. Yeah. Right? Yeah. You know, there's something cool about it. Sierra loved that show. I didn't watch it with her. I, she watched that show without me, and I watched the wire without her, so then we

can never have a conversation about either one of those shows. That's fair. The wire's for yourself, you know what I mean? I just couldn't stop watching it. Yeah. It's devastating. The wire's actually sidebar. The wire is a great TV show you should watch.

It was so good. I feel like I need to rewatch it again. Yeah, right, like as a second, like I would read a book again, I should watch the show again. Young Idris. Yeah, that's good. I got a dream for you next. Yeah, this one's called, and we're going to interpret this dream. Oh yeah, this is called My Strange Dream, Empty Skin People from user, several mummies.

It's a great name. Yeah, love it. Last year, shortly after the traditional Halloween episode of our favorite podcast, not this one, I had a strange, but surprisingly cogent dream. Since we just entered the spooky season, I thought I put it out there for everyone's amusement, feel free to read and interpret if the hosts are interested. Oh, we're very interested. We're very interested. It felt weird, but not scary at the time, but looking back, it's a nightmare.

In the dream, I've just moved into a new house. I'm not alone, but I couldn't tell you how many others were with. Oh, you are having a nice man. At some point, I become aware that the neighbor is a serial killer, which in this is spelled like serial, like the food. But I don't think that's what they meant. It's a serial killer. But it's okay. As long as I don't call attention to it, he won't kill me.

Then I, for some reason, decide to report him to the authorities. It's only then that I realize the neighborhood consists of people that are just living skins with a cut up the front. Everything else has been removed. The first part of the dream I can totally relate with, where like, oh, there's a thing that kills you,

but all you have to do is just hide a little bit better than everyone else in your fine. Like I'm in the dark to send. And you can just go into another room. Yeah. But like, ooh, the cut down the middle, holy jeez. Yes. Empty skin people. These skin people take me to the killer's house. Very polite, not mentioning the predicament that I find myself in. We start watching a movie while the neighbor prepares, I try to escape by getting up and saying I have to use the bathroom, I actually have to pee, which I think they mean in the dream, they have to pee, not right now while they're writing this, I think. I go in, brace the door with my foot and pee.

I must have been taking a while because they get suspicious and start trying to get me. Then the camera zooms up to a man crouching on top of the shower in between a couple potted plants. The audience hear his thoughts. I've been here for 50 years and no one's noticed me. Then I wake up. So right out the gate, I'm guessing this person is American. Because if you feel like you live next door to a serial killer and everyone around you is an empty skin of a person with nothing inside with no soul. That's what it's like to be in like post COVID death stranding America. Hit the 15 second skip button if you do not want to hear a spoiler for the movie parasite.

Hit that button now and then hit it again. Okay. Uh hit hit it now. Yeah. Uh, wait, hold on. Okay. At least one of the buttons has already. I know. I know. Okay. We're losing it. Hit it now. That feels like a Korean horror movie ending. Yes. Is there any chance that that this person is not that American could be like, I mean, if I have dreams of other people being there, but I never see them. Yeah, I think I think the person who's been there for 50 years is like, like, connecting like, okay, like, how do I say this? Like the people outside, you're getting that feeling, you're feeling like they're gonna come. You're not interpreting that this is a being

that lives inside of this person. I mean, inside of this person, like maybe, but like, I think it's all, I think it's all a metaphor. I think like they're saying, people are empty. It feels like they're serial killers next door. Nobody's acknowledging it, right? They're just being polite and like, luring you to your death. The only way for that person to be an individual, to not be part of the skinless mob, was to be a loner in an island of one,

and that person was completely original. Yeah. Right? Like they were not assimilated into the masses, but you can't say anything. You just have to be in the background. You have to lurk the subreddit. Yeah, exactly. And I also think to speak to the guy in the shower,

some more, like, if you look at stuff like Twitter or Reddit or all the crazy internet shit that makes people crazy and angry, you might think, and how global the new cycle is now, you might think that this is a new thing that's happening in the world, like this insane, like, masochistic uber violence, fascistic tendencies thing that's going on right now. But the guy in the shower saying he's been here for 50 years,

to me means that, like, this has just been happening the whole time, also. Ooh, like a Darni Darko situation. Yeah, like this is the worm thing that goes all the way through your body, your whole life. Yeah, but it's like that feeling of American paranoia of the people around you and how you feel it, but you just act normal outside and you just kind of,

I don't know, there's a lot of oppression in America. More than it seems. More than it seems. Yeah, and what's funny is we can't talk about it because if you talk about it, that's when you get people upset. You know what I mean? Because it's, you will,

you will interpret reality through the lens of your eyes. So whatever the thing is that you are about it, that's when you get people upset. You know what I mean? Because it's, you will, you will interpret reality through the lens of your eyes. So whatever the thing is that you are passionate about, they are not letting you say it. And they probably aren't letting you say it. Yeah, but that's part of the issue. And I'll say this, cool, like good American excellence, good old American excellence, like cool shit

that's from America. Still exists out there. The people that are like that are out there. They're just There's just so many people in America. It's bigger than like any other country that's in the Western world In terms of like culture and footprint. I feel we are at a breaking point and I feel why it's like Whatever this UFO thing is needs to come out so we can either put this shit to bed or that we can evolve as a So we can either put this shit to bed or that we can evolve as a species and evolve our thinking Because we feel just I just feel like we're at this precipice and you're absolutely right. It just feels like

Yeah, there There's no excellence anywhere in the world and it's not about things. It's about ideas. It just all feels so it's there It's there. It's just like it's there. There's just like two realities at the same time like dissonance It's like you you know, for every cool, interesting American artist out there, there's like a fucking racist, fascist, thick necked, shitty, hateful, crazy person. Do they have a bunch of money? But do they feel that they've been here for 50 years?

100% you can't see that. 100%? Yeah. But they all do, you know what I mean? It's the whole thing has been there for 50 years. This guy hiding in the bathroom from that has been there for 50 years. Then he was the last guy who went in the bathroom to pee. Then let's inspire people, go make the change.

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That's it. So go check it out. All you have to do is head over to Nuts.com slash chill and you'll receive your free gift and free shipping when you spend $29 or more. That's just Nuts.com slash chill. Thank you again to Nuts.com for sponsoring today's episode. Sandtel, a PhD's take on the alien genetic post from Barfus, the great. Is Barfus a Roman Emperor? Barfus is a Roman Emperor with a PhD.

Yeah, okay. Is that what that means? Oh, yeah. Okay. Hello, my fellow L.O. Chaluma Nats. I'm a long time listener, first time caller of this podcast, and I've lurked on the subreddit for quite a while. Do people know about long time listener, first time caller?

I think so. Do people still know what that is? I still get unironic, like, similar messages all the time. What was the morning show you used to listen to in high school? Uh, Kevin and Bean. Kevin and Bean. Yeah. I used to buy the Christmas album every year too. That's the, that was the good thing.

Yeah, they had all the, yeah, dirty songs. It was like, yeah, it was like South Park, Blink 182 vibes, you know? Yeah, yeah. The Mikey show down in San Diego. Oh, yeah. It's all a fellow part a couple of years later, but it was classic classic. Shoutouts, shoutouts to,outs to morning radio for young people. It was like, it was like, the funny,

it was like, just, it was hanging out with your friends. You just wanted to tell jokes and you'd find a community and you're like, this is me. It was like being on the internet, but you're outside. Yeah. Yeah. It was kind of like, right? It was like a discord room with six people in it.

Yeah. And one of them was usually a dumb dumb. It's like a daily podcast. Yeah. Yeah. It was vibes. Yeah. And it was like, you didn't have to like have your phone.

You could just like go eat some eggs and it was like be out. It was always there. It was very reliable. Yeah. Yeah. I consider myself apathetic. I consider myself an apathetic Jesse in the area of aliens and cryptids. As I think there are more pressing matters in the world that require our focus i.e.

climate change and it's effect on events such as as famines water shortages and pandemics heard but if now then win because there's never gonna be a good time. We just don't know the answer We don't know how important it is. That's the thing. That's very true. And I think that I, we gotta do something. Yeah. I can't deal with the politics from this. It's gotta be climate change.

I know. I have a PhD in closely related field to molecular biology. And to the point, I have performed next gen DNA slash RNA sequencing, genetic engineering, cloning, and so forth. I don't want to post my information publicly to Reddit, but if the mods want to confirm my credentials,

they only need to ask. What does that mean? Does that mean he's working for Chinese CRISPR technology? Or is this the weird shit we're doing? The problem is this guy's got the same credentials as the other guy. Alex, I have lots of credentials. If you ask me about them, I'll tell you all about them.

I'm not even trying to clown on barface. He very well could be a phd. Yes, please be respectful to barface. Like real talk, he very well could be a Phd, but it's just funny to be like, I also, like I still, Alex the reader still doesn't have the expertise and you're just another person on Reddit telling me that you have the expertise.

But this is kind of how doctors talk. Yeah, no, look, we know a talk. Yeah. No, I look. We know a doctor. Yeah, we hear him out. The fucking dogs a doctor. Yeah, dude. That's how we talk. Yeah. God bless them. Hearing the last episode about alien genetics post on our aliens, I felt that I had to chime in with more specialized opinions. This is what we were talking about when you were on the show, by the way.

In short, oh, I remember, In short, the post is very fun, science, larping. The pod is an interesting read, but looking deeper into the details of the story begins to all fall apart. Yeah, unfortunately, isn't that's the problem. We don't know if any of this stuff is larping. Like exactly right. Like this guy, that's the whole problem.

It's like, I was gonna wait till the end to say it, but it's just so interesting. No, he's not larping. Grush. That's true. Grush is not larping. Because they looked say it, but it's just so interesting. No, he's not larping. Grush. That's true, grush is not larping. Because they looked into it and all the places he said he worked, he did work. Yeah, he did work there.

He's not like what's his name. Grayer. The guy was like, or Lazar, or yeah. The guy was like, I work, trust me. Yeah, Area 51. He's in the, yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, I know, Lazar's story is weird. Without going to depth as I am writing this on mobile

and don't want to write a full breakdown with citations using a touchscreen, I don't like that you capitalized mobile. Yeah, well it could be English. English. Or they're like mobile. And then it becomes like a little bit more. It's a mobile with a capital M though? I mean, it just feels like it is.

If I was your teacher, I'd put a red light under that. Mobile sounds like the name of a little pig sidekick, and mobile sounds like a cast like his Pokemon Evolution. Mobile also sounds like a weird oil technology. Mobile will take over this country. That was already a gas station called that, mobile. Well, I don't called that mobile. Well, I never said mobile. Yeah, and if they steal that for their stupid oil ad campaign, you will have to pay.

Yeah. The poster makes the poster, the not like a thing on a wall, but the poster. Yeah, yeah, the poster makes very basic errors with no PhD would make an example of this incorrect definition of intergenetic and intergenic, intergenic and intergenic. Right, which is like, Oh, okay, great. I don't know the fucking difference either. There's just to me, it's just a few letters. The poster places genetic features into the incorrect categories such as a promoter sequence being intergenetic when it should be intergenetic. Intergenic when it should be intergenic.

Yeah, okay, so weird. I need you, I need you. This isn't the only issue with this post, which makes me believe the poster isn't a biologist, but rather someone who did research on biology to write the post. Nonetheless, it's a fun episode to listen and I enjoyed Santa Rosa guest hot dog barfus No, I didn't like you up until that last line, but you got me so you're gonna let him have his PhD now Barfus, I appreciate you. Thank you so much. Listen to story time. I like I get it. I get it,

but this is the whole problem with everything, right? This is why everyone on the UFO subreddit is like experts in military flares. Right. It's like, okay, great. It's so much more work with military flares every day. It's so humiliating to get kind of just like bullied on on the internet that you just lie. It's, that's, we gotta get to a better internet Alex.

I know. We've reached this spot because like, if this is real, then like, right, like if that guy is doing this great, what else can you look into? Barfus, can you look into a big foot stuff for me? Like, what is the information that you can look into to use your expertise? And what are you working on, Barfus? Barfus, what are you doing up to?

Who does number two work for, Barfus? Who does number two work for? All right, this next one is called, my maybe haunted hometown house. Goddamn, boy, what'd you eat? From a user, spinnist, tea menace. Have you been in any haunted houses? Have you been in places and had haunted experiences?

Yeah, I've had one in my grandma's house one time, one or twice, a couple times actually. But, and there's been a couple weird things that have happened here before that. I wouldn't say that this house is haunted, but I've had some weird things happen in this house before. And then like touristy-wise,

I've been to like a couple like famous haunted houses, like I went to Waley House in Old Town San Diego. I went to that other house in San Diego that looks like the house from Casper that this guy lived in. That's an old town, you can't get inside that one. Yeah, yeah, not anymore. Okay.

But I was there. Yeah. And I've been, I've been, I've been to a fair amount of them, but I've never like seen a fucking like one of the ones that they say I've been to Queen Mary and other one. I've just never like seen like the famous ghosts if you're that that's what you're asking. It sucks that it moves when you see the would ghost show up like the door slams, the window opens, a bookshelf falls over.

It's never just like a little, like the things that happen that are weird. I think it's great though, because when you then watch like Newxtop 5 and you're trying to like see which ones are real, the ones that like use the language of cinema are like probably fake, because it's like, it's like too good,

because like if you watch a lot of ghost shit movies and you start to like see the tropes in real life, you're like, come on, the ghosts aren't, the ghosts aren't watching. The ghost of those ghost videos are always so convenient. The one where the guy like dosy-dose around the corner so that his buddy can sneak out behind him. Like, I don't know, like, I'm sure there's real ones out.

I'm sure there's at least footage that's like not fake out there. Like, that's been not tampered with. I'm sure mixed in every once in a while, you get a good one. But there's so much fake shit out there, guys. It's so crazy as well that in a world of show me UFOs, it's like, just show them. Go get a ghost. No, like, you have all the cameras in the one room. I'm very interested in ghost hunting.

I would love to like legit be convinced. You know what I mean? I would love to like, but it would be a personal experience that would change you. That's what I mean. I just wanna know. I just wanna like understand those people that like do it all the time

and are like fully committed to it. Because I wanna hear their top 10 best EVPs. Because I already think it's cool. Yeah, exactly. I already think it's cool. Like the vibe is cool. It's like kind of like I already think it's cool. Yeah, exactly. I already think it's cool. The vibe is cool. It's like kind of like, IRL Ghostbusters vibes.

It's close you can get, right? And you're kind of like doing some like back to the future Doc Brown type shit. Wayne Zalinsky, honey, I shrunk the kids type shit, you know? Back when we were watching sci-fi channel like a decade ago when that first ghost hunter show, the TAPS guys,

yeah, they went to some line house. They got crazy shadows. There's a couple very legit episodes of that show. And I was watching that, I was like, how come this isn't a bigger deal? How come this is only like 22 minutes and then we're seeing another episode of Species? There's not a single one of those shows

that doesn't have some clear fake stuff on it. Yeah, and I always feel like there's always one guy, the crew that maybe did some time. Like they did do it. They're like, he's there like, he's there like, grease monkey. Listen, I get it. You're going to some place at 3 a.m.

and are staying up all night. I bet people weirdos flock to you, like a moth to a flame. I've talked about this before, but if you want to watch a killer show that only has a few controversies. Jesus. Well, it's great because they actually like

sussed out their own guy. They like fed him fake info and he like fell for it. So it was like kind of neat, right? But most haunted, the like BBC one is, I think it's BBC, is with a vet fielding. And like the guy Derek Acora was the guy who got like blown up on that show. She snuffed him out as being a faker.

It was one of the historians, there's a packet that they give, and he's not supposed to look at that packet, but he got it somehow, and he in the show, in his cold reading of the place, said one of the facts that was fake, that was an anagram of his own name, Derek his fake or something like that. And the guy came out and was like, this guy's fucked. And they like took him off the show. Wow!

So even though there's like a few other times in that show had some controversies, like I give it some credit because that was tight. Wow. Yeah, but that show's really good. And they do a lot of research and they like fact check. Like a lot of stuff that the mediums say, they'll just put up, it's almost like pop up video

where they like fact check the mediums in real time. Oh pop video? Yeah, and they're like, this was real. There is somebody with this name or whatever, but then sometimes they're like, we didn't find anybody with this. This guy was wrong. Yeah, they're like, whatever.

Pop up video is the shit. I love pop up video, but most haunted. If you have a chance, I think it's on Amazon Prime. I don't know, here we go. New listener here, a spinnest team in us. Maybe my maybe haunted hometown house. New listener here, I Spennis Team Menace. Maybe my maybe haunted hometown house. New listener here, I just finished episode 37, so I have a long way to go.

We're on episode 225 now. Hot dog, listen, this is gonna be years before they get here. Oh yeah. You get a Mario star, you get the flag, what a fun surprise. Yeah, this is great. A bossil time. Yeah, I travel a lot for work,

so listen to podcasts and audio books, are great options to pass the time. I occasionally listen to recent episodes like Enfield, keep up the awesomeness, Gents, I WILL. If there are any questions about any of the stories below, feel free to ask away. It's a lot to read, so hopefully I didn't go overboard. These will be three stories that are recently reconfermed with my family as we all went through this.

My hometown house had various bizarre situations occur, but to some degree, there could be logical explanations, even if I'd rather it be weird ghost shit. That lady comedian with a high pitch voice, she has a lot of cartoons. Maria Bantford. I don't know. The one from a flight of the concords. No, no. She's a little younger than her. She's, she's real pretty. I think so. Marcel the show. I think so. She grew up in a haunted house. And in her comedy act, she talks to the hot jokes and then behind the scenes, she's like, I can't talk about growing up in a haunted house

because it is the thing that affects me the most. It's like so scary. It's just all of the trauma that comes with living in a haunted house. Jenny Slate, please reach out to us. We are ready to believe you. It's just, yeah, okay, okay. I grew up in the Bay area about an hour south of San Francisco.

I grew up in a two story house that had issues with piping to the point where my parents had to eventually pay to have all of the piping replaced after it rained indoors three times within two years. Jesus. Hearing weird sounds, we checked them up to the bad pipes. Couldn't afford to fix for a while. My sister and I had our own rooms of the bathroom in between.

Our parents' room was across the stairs with a path to the loft, which we called the band room. Above the top of the stairs was the entry point for the attic, a relatively small square that we had to go, that we had to bring a ladder to, to even push it up to get inside. So classic attic. This house is worth $5 million. Yeah. No, in San Francisco, like,

well, it's our South, our South, but still. It's got brand new piping. Oh, okay. I love that the stories have titles. Story one is called, Frilled Dress, Stitched Heart. This makes me believe that your story's not real, but I'm excited to be at your house

with your family right now. I was about 12 years old. I had two young black cats and two German shepherds. This particular night was the strangest encounter with the cats. That's like James Bond villain pets, but I love it. I just started scratch. These ones bark. Dita and Peter. I had just started to scratch.

It scratches with it's bark, but it's bite is worse than it's machete. That's right. I said machete. He has a possible, he has a dog. I have made two dogs with dogs. My dog has a ass. Mr. Bondbs watch out for his machete arms. He can grip them. I better not wrestle with that mark. Come stretch. I had just started truly getting into reading. I was reading Red Wall by Brian Jock covering under my arm covers under my arms feeling comfortable and relaxed. I was starting to drift off to sleep when my cats raced into my bedroom, running on top of my bed and knocking over stuff on my shelf.

Before I could finish saying, what are you doing? Both cats stopped at the foot of my bed, hissing towards my door. Cats are assholes. Like I did it. Like they probably don't act like assholes all the time, but cats are little assholes. I will say this though,

if there is an animal with the ability to peer across the supernatural plane, it's cats. They were never to miss they are the Batman of animals. They just chose to like, it's a benefit. It's a beneficial relationship as they evolutionarily. They're like, yeah, just hook up with these guys might as well be a tiger. Yeah. What?

Right. I could see her clearly. A little girl was standing a couple of feet into my room. She wore a frilled dress with a stitched heart on the chest. The part that confused me most was she was in gray scale. I stuttered a... Hello? Next, I heard a giggle from her as she skipped through the walls of my parents' room.

My cats calmed down and I was eventually able to fall asleep after putting the covers over my head, freaking out. Looking back, she seems harmless even though my cats didn't like her. The next day, I mentioned the event to my parents. My dad told me he saw her too. However, for him she was in color. A little girl in a blue-frily dress with a red stitched heart on the chest. A couple of years later, we met a previous wrencher of the house. We all acted at a local black box theater, parents and kids. My mom being the social butterfly she is, mentioned the house to one of the other moms. Then, unprompted. This mom asked if we met the girl ghost yet and described her in dresses of various types,

but mainly a fairly dressed with a stitched heart on the chest. My mom pulled me into the room so I could hear it from the woman herself. Not long after this, chairs and toys would move across rooms within view of all of us to see. My family and I would have items go missing and reappear unless it was clothes. If clothing vanished, it never returned. Especially if it was for my little sister's clothes that went missing.

For me, it was my books. They would vanish for months and then be on my bed. No one could explain to me why. My parents are still confused by that. They are believers of ghosts and aliens, so they probably didn't need a lot to be convinced, but I truly don't know. One time, a chair moved before our eyes catching my dad.

This person lives in a haunted house with their books going missing. They're like, that's not enough proof for me sorry. If you came up with it, maybe that's just normal for you though, you know what I mean? Yeah, that you just lose shit for every couple of months. Dude, people can normalize fucking anything. Sure, sure. Okay.

One time, a chair moved before our eyes catching my dad, who had just lost his balance working on the ceiling after the pie had burst the first time. None of us were near the chair when we saw it scoop back from the table to catch my dad's foot. He thanked my mom thinking it was her. We decided it was either the little girl or my step grandma who had passed away earlier that year. She would always give my dad a flat

for not being more careful. I have to believe all ghost stories. I have a ghost story. Okay, but it's not a ghost story. Okay, I saw. It doesn't sound like a ghost story. I saw nothing. Okay, when we's not a ghost story. Okay. I saw. It doesn't sound like a ghost story. I saw nothing. Okay.

Okay. So when we first moved into our apartment, yeah, your current apartment. The apartment we live in now, we never seen anything like that. Within the first two weeks, Sierra said to me, she woke up in the middle of the night and somebody said her name,

out loud audible. Ooh, Sierra. And she's went, yeah. And she was like, you were snoring, you weren't awake. And I said, that's the craziest thing I've ever heard. Why would you, this is a sucks. That's so scary. Why would you tell me that? Why would you this is a sucks. That's so scary. Why would you tell me that? The next night, literally the next night when I was sleeping while sleeping, I heard somebody say my name,

audibly out loud, Michael. I said, yes, here, what do you want? Like her voice? Not her voice, but I responded. I was like, yeah, what's up? Yeah. And she's asleep Well, I mean, I don't think it matters if the dog was asleep. I don't think JJ's like Michael

I ask him all the time just fucking say what you want stop looking at me like that. I've ever told you the words Did my friend Tony? Yeah, I know yet yeah, yeah. Tony Wiggit Tony. No, no, the other one. Okay, yeah, yeah. Tony number two is a good guy. Yeah, he has a friend Justin who swears to this day that he was sitting on the like porch of his house when they were like kids with skateboards

chilling out there with the dog in the neighbor and the dog was just like, sup guys. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha? That sounds like dogman stories. Yeah, again from Michigan where people just see like a dog smoking a cigarette, leaning up against a fence and be like, how you doing there? That's the funniest shit I've ever heard in my life.

Brian Griffin, like what the fuck? It's crazy and it reminds me of Joe Campbell and you're talking about cultural influences like I don't know, maybe that was like a thing people saw. Yeah. Fucking a little smoke. Maybe that painting was just like so fire. Story two out of body.

Here we go. Oh, I just did the intro. Oh, okay. I'll do it. Yeah, technically your story. I didn't want to step on your feet. Yeah, no, take this one. There's a third one.

I chalked this one up to being a weird dream because even on this day, I have bizarre dreams that are vivid as real memories, but still nothing like this one up to being a weird dream because even on this day, I have bizarre dreams that are vivid as real memories, but still nothing like this one. I have deja vu dreams. Oh my God, all the time. I'll dream the thing and then it'll be the thing. Yeah. It happens more with people than like content,

but it'll be like looking at a window and be like, yep, I dreamt this. I feel like sometimes like the feeling is more complex than just like the visual. Like maybe something about what I'm looking at a window, I'll be like, yep, I dreamt this. I feel like sometimes the feeling is more complex than just the visual. Maybe something about what I'm looking at makes me feel the same as the feeling in my dream and I like match it after the fact. It almost feels like reality resinks.

Yeah. Like a click, like a zzik, and you're like, oh, okay. Deja Vu is an extraordinary feeling. I'm back on the path. I'm on the path. Yeah, it was a hot summer. I was 16 years old and it was well over 100 degrees Fahrenheit and our AC was doing the best it could.

It would it would die about a week after this. No, in this house is just rough as hell. It's really tough. I was falling asleep on the living room couch a little couch a little afternoon. falling asleep on the living room couch, a little couch, a little afternoon. Suddenly, I had a strange sensation where it felt like someone was pushing on my face. Like the hat man, what's the person that sits on your chest? A nightmare. Well, it's like a specific thing. Asian cultures, there's like this, it's like a fat man that comes and sits on your chest. Oh my God, okay. I

Called it a face Meltzer because it was like an immense G-Force from a roller coaster Oh when I touched my face at the moment it felt like everything was horribly wrong Like the Boba did like like like yeah, like Body horses. Yeah, my eyes My eyes were on my cheeks and my mouth was on my chin. I could feel creases and wrinkles on my face from my skin bunching up. I could hardly open my mouth to speak, let alone breathe. Panic mounted within me.

Did you hit the Salvia Bong? I did do that. Do you know that story? I mean, I'm sure you, the story goes, I hit the Salvia Bong once and did do that. Do you know that story? I mean, I'm sure you, the story goes, I hit the Salvia Bong once and then I lost my mind. Oh, yeah, I came home from blockbuster and I opened the door and Rob had a bomb and it was filled with smoke.

Kevin, my roommate, the drug he was like, Rob, hit it, hit it and Rob was like, no, I'm scared. I just got home from my shift and I was like Rob hit it hit it and I was like no I'm scared I just got home from my shift I was like I'll hit it rip it started coughing coughing like I was dying like just like yeah I was it what I thought it was you know how powerful it was I nope no no no no no I went to the kitchen and instantly I turned on the sink to get water in my mouth

and I was trapped being pushed down by a rainbow waterfall. Like a waterfall and all the rainbow pieces were like coming off of it. From the couch, Sierra said you were standing over the sink just drooling like, ugh, ow, it's a rainbow waterfall was hitting me. And then I got really, I felt all of the sweat on my back. Like, it was like itching me. Like, it felt like, again, to the mummy, felt like scarabs were like crawling up my back. Super.

So I instantly took off my blue shirt. I took off my, well, my dicky shorts, and I'm just now, and I just was like, I gotta get in the shower now. And I went to the shower and I was able to calm down on the shower. But I, it only lasts for like 10, 15 minutes.

Maybe I, I, I, I maybe had like 90 seconds of that. And then the shower, then all of me was just wet and itchy, and I felt fine. Great. That is insane. Yeah. A rainbow waterfall. Yeah, I tried to open my eyes and itchy and I felt fine. Great, that is insane. Yeah, a rainbow waterfall. Yeah, I tried to open my eyes. I forgot I was reading.

Sorry, Alex. I tried to open my eyes, but that's when I barely saw a pair of small bear feet. Oh, no. Before I could freak out more, I sat up feeling light-headed. Thinking it was a weird dream, I walked to the kitchen to get water. Went out of the corner of my eye.

I saw my body sleeping on the couch. Oh shit. You're out of body. I wasn't sure what was happening at first, but I heard a voice. I couldn't tell you what was said. It was an echoing soft voice of a girl. Michael. As if in a trance, my body walked to the base of the stairs.

I realized that I had no control, but couldn't fight it no matter how hard I tried at the top of the stairs the little girl At the top of the stairs was a little girl, but this time in a white flat Gound I pointed towards her saying I know you she giggled Before I could before I could do anything, I felt pressure in my stomach. Oh God. The pressure turned into a clear feeling of being pulled. I was back pulled into my body.

It wasn't fast either. I could feel as if I had passed through the kitchen and then whipped around the couch to where my body was. I woke up breathing heavily in a deep sweat. I called my best friend. You will not believe the shit that just happened. I've heard, like, remote viewers talk about when they get lost in other places, there's like a golden string behind you.

As long as you don't lose that, you can get back to your body. It's just like a... But this person described it as through the navel, like pulling them down, which is a weird that feeling of like a rope inside of you is crazy. Yeah, I don't even, I don't know. It's weird to me that that's such a common part of that. That multiple people have that archetypal like junk that feeling. Yeah. I also talked about my

dad, a dad about it. And he said he used to have out-of-body experiences regularly. He would travel the world in his mind that way and he would have to fight to get back to his body. From what I have heard and read, it's easy for people to die in their sleep when that happens because their soul leaves the body. Okay, well, dream, dream, life, in his, it is stayed with me, clear as crystal to this day. That's, isn't that the causation? Like, yeah, people die of their sleep,

but like, you spend most of your life fucking asleep. It's like Cybert Punk, 2077. Yeah, yeah, but you spend most of your life sleeping, right? Like, we're beings of sleep. But you're not traveling usually. You're not working. Well, in the dreamscape you are. But you're not remote viewing most of're not working. You're well in the dreamscape you are. But you're not remote viewing most of the time

that you're sleeping. It's funny that when people are at a body they're just chilling at their house. Yeah. I guess you didn't know that was happening so you're like, I'll go to the kitchen. Have you lucid dreamt? Yes.

I've never done it, like, I've never induced it but I've had like brief experience. Yeah, I've had dreams where in the dream I'm like, oh wait, I'm gonna do something else now. I'm like, fly! Yeah, I, so I stopped smoking weed so I could have like crazy dreams. It was really difficult.

I knew she. Not, I know nothing about it was difficult, but like, just sucked. It just, yeah. And on one of the nights, I wrote down, I was like, I wanna see tarot cards in my dream. And I had this dream, I was in a teacher's lounge, and there was always teachers, and there was like,

someone had like brought in lunch to like feed the teacher. So we were all just eating and talking and stuff like that. And the teacher, and the bell rang, the teacher's like, oh, we gotta go back to our classrooms now. And I was like, oh, but I wanted to do your tarot cards. I wanted to see like tarot cards with you. And one of the teachers turned to me and said, I know you do, you don't get to see them.

Whoa. And then we went back to classrooms and then we put on a movie for the kids. Like, that was all the dream stuff, but that was the one moment I was like, okay, that was weird. And you're like, whoa, I was alive. I was alive for a second, okay.

That's so crazy. And then the next day I smoked weed. Yeah, hell yeah. That I was like, okay, that's enough of that. Story number three, stranger than fiction. My last year of high school was filled with all forms of drama, relationships, being in bands, et cetera. Bad kids hook up.

It's hard, it's hard stuff. Were you in bands? I was in bands. Oh, you were in bands. That's right. I was in bands, but I wasn't in bands. But do bands hook up? Bans are wild, band is wild.

Band bands meet other bands because they know what it's like to be in a band and then you hook up. Bands are wild, band is wild. Band bands meet other bands, because they know what it's like to be in a band, and then you hook up with their band. Yeah, okay. Band life. Band life. Musicians are frisky dingos. Yeah, frisky dingos.

The thing that was the hardest to swallow was we had been broken into three times throughout the year. The band I was in with my friends had just gotten started. Somehow, none of our instruments were stolen from the loft. What is the point of having a ghost if it's not going to scare away burglars? Yeah, I know, right? Like, that's the trade-off. Listen, you can ruin, like, breathe in my ear, but like, you're going to, like, scare the shit out of anyone who breaks into this house.

That's like the end state of the current haunted mansion movie. Is that what it is? They, like, befriend the girl? Yeah, it's, like, I mean, it's a happy ending at the end. I'll say that. I'm not going to spoil that. Oh, that's gross. Is it messy? Is it the t-? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait's like, I mean, it's a happy ending at the end. I'll say that. I'm not gonna spoil that. Oh, that's gross. Is it messy? Are the t- Wait, wait, I never, I continue. Sorry. The first time we found who it was rather quickly. They didn't steal anything. Still to this day, we have no idea what their goal was. A running theory was an old friend stole my keys and got spooked by our alarm system.

We got the system after a nasty encounter with neighbors at the time. If I went into that here, I think it would double what I already have typed, so moving on. The following times lead us to question the paranormal events we all experienced. The second break in was scary. I had walked home from school that day. My car was in the shop because it was old and breaking down. Good old hand me downs. I came home to the front door being open, thick muddy footprints were everywhere throughout the house, clothing stolen, and every piece of jewelry in the house was stolen, and the attic was wide open. The pink foam within was moved enough to reveal impressions.

Clear indentations of suitcases and what it could only assume was a suitcase. Police said it looked like people stored stuff in the attic. The attic is small and not a functional room in any way, exposed foam and all. For some reason, the police theorized that people were living in the attic at one point. Somehow they got out of the house without us knowing and came back and get to get the things they left and decided to steal what they could. Like the junior detective I am, I followed the footprints. One set led to the small window in our kitchen which is believed to be where they entered with the aid of a small person potentially a child. Glass was clearly broken inwards all over the sink. I followed another

set of footprints that lead to the backyard all over the sink. I followed another set of footprints that lead to the backyard and over the fence. There were quote unquote discrete socks, their way to hide fingerprints. I told multiple police and they promptly dismissed what I was telling them. Until I got to someone who looked like a detective with a camera. I pulled them aside and pointed to what I saw. They responded with, good eye. I'll see what I can do. And that wasn't an Australian person. Good eye. I'll see what I can do. And that wasn't an Australian person. Good eye. Good eye. I'll see what I can do.

Nothing happened more after that. No paranormal experiences, no break-ins, nothing. The police never did more to help us or explain anything. The detective I spoke with never gotten contact with us, not sure if they could help, but that was it. What? Police don't do thorough jobs?

I know. My sister and I moved away to respective colleges soon after, and my parents moved a few years after, because they couldn't afford to move until then. We will never know what really happened. The history of the house revealed nothing when I searched. It's just an old house with weird shit that happened. Do you think that there was a girl with a stitched heart on her dress

that was helping these thieves? It's so funny, because the three tails feel so disconnected from each other. Yeah. Right, other than I guess the girl does show up in the out-of-body experience. Sort of. Maybe it's the same girl. But like, yeah, right. Did the little girl invite thieves? She was like, you guys don't respect me,

so I'm gonna let your house get broken, too. Yeah, I don't like she just, she opened the door and was like, with the door mat, like the house from it. The storing of things also makes me wonder, like, okay, great, this is an episode of Weeds. This family Airbnb, this house, stole, left stuff up there. Like, yeah, like no control man.

Came back to the country, needed clothes, jewels and money, things, right? They didn't take TVs. They only took things that you would run with. Right. And then we're out of there. And we're, and did it professionally. Like, okay, maybe this is professional crime.

Yeah, I mean, look, I don't know anything about professional crime, but I bet you it's, I bet you it's a lot like that. Alex, they are professionals. They know what they are doing. I'm with you. They have planned this. I'm with you.

I trust them. We're an hour south of San Fran in a house that's hundreds of years old, or a hundred years old. But it's funny that that feels more like oceans 11. It's like, yeah, sometimes that happens. Like, maybe if I was Danny Ocean, I'd be bust in small jobs all over the place. With that team, we could be like imagine in Beverly Hills. Alex, guess what? The job already happened two days ago.

You mean when you were telling me how to do the job, you were doing the job in a real life? Let me show you this bus. Elliot Cool, what are you doing here? Oh, I love Elliot Cool. I know right. Santa El, haunted children desk can type from Raelicol.

Raelicol. Yeah. Raelicol. Raelicol? Raelicol? Raelicol? Yeah. this is his seventh grade email address He's never had to change this name. This is like the name of his like fake fighting game character from his folder right now Go type in this name on a.i.i.i.m. and send them a message and say hey

Hey, what are you doing? Say what's up? Hey everyone long time listener first time poster see just went? Just went to thank Jesse specifically for his content getting me through more than a few rough days. Seems like the right time to also apologize to him for the spooky insanity to follow. Sorry, Jesse. Sorry, Jesse. I hope your butt feels better. Jesse, listen.

I know. I know. I'm going to get notes later on. Yeah. This happened to me in my high school bedroom right when the Backstreet Boys reunion tour kicked off in 2020. What a time stamp. That's a secret code for COVID.

Oh, okay, thank you. It was either late March or early April. Oh, this is all trauma, bro. Okay, yeah, we had just gone to the weed cafe for the first time. Yeah. And then the next day the world showed down and we were like, maybe we should have been smoking

your blood. Can we just hire it out and we were like, maybe we should have been smoking your blood. Dude, can we just hire it out? It's like that Star Trek episode where he's like in the like other life that he lives. Oh jeez. It was either in late March or early April. I'd like to say it was in a creepy old Victorian house, but it was built in the 90s. My alien wear MX-17 from grad school had died. Oh, this is a ghost story This is the ghost of the computer coming back

Thankfully my brother was very I had a very similar model. He said I could have and could fix it uh One new ssd and a windows install later computer companies never raid zero two hard drives for one laptop I don't get any of this is all stuff Jesse window? I don't get any of this. This is all stuff Jesse would know. I don't understand any of this. This is just basic computer stuff. This is just computer stuff. They're just like, you know, the ram never comes good.

But if you get a fan, brother has the same computer almost. And he said you can have it if you can fix it. And he swapped out the hard drive installed windows. And he said that it's bad if you rate two hard drives together. I was up and running again for my job job testing cell phone networks for a major carrier. He won't say which one, but the answer is mid-mobile.

I wonder if this is going to go up to the top and reveal something horrible about this company. Oh, oh yeah! Like in Batman. Yeah. I temporarily left my city apartment for the... Yeah, I'm at the right spot. I temporarily left my city apartment for the backwater Ks town I attend high school in at the time it seems safer to be around less people while I normally conducted work from the first floor of the dining room

I stored my equipment upstairs in the bedroom inside adequate children's roll-up desk Everyone should just say this happened during COVID. All of everything you just said was explaining to me COVID I get it. It was a rough time. That's why he was back home. Yeah, and needed some weird work from home. Death. And so he's in an antique children's roll top. Like one of those deaths where like the wood comes up,

like like like an old author. I love him. I love him. My father acquired this desk near Chesapeake, Virginia and restored it himself. It was a gift in so far that I was encouraged to use it for homework, which I did regularly in my youth. The deaths seemed entirely normal until March last April of 20. So did civilization. The desk got COVID.

Dude, Josie Packard went in there. Yeah, you think? Alex did a very funny face everyone. You can't see it, but I thought it was very funny. I stored my laptop inside the desk and left both open. Oh, I wonder if we're gonna hear prediction. The laptop battery dies. Okay. A rough layout of my bedroom is required at this point. It is roughly a pentagonal. Oh, okay.

What do you, like in the, like the salon of like a geodesic dome house? He lives in a Rosemary's baby's house and that's what we're gonna find out. From the bed directly east are windows. To the southwest is the desk and more windows. North and northeast are exits from the room. Which direction do you wanna go?

North. Move north. Yeah. I was laying in the bed trying to sleep with no luck. I want to be clear at this point that the laptop was off when I started hearing rapid typing on the keyboard. The laptop then suddenly world to life and booted up Windows 10 login. Oh shit. Right to login.

You just skipped go. It would right to park place. The ghost, Fisher Stevens. He's still alive, I think. Frustrated with the bright light making it harder to sleep and my own laptop repair, I got up, walked across the room to shut the laptop. At this point, I just figured I was hearing things and the laptop had another issue to fix. As soon as I crawled back into bed, the computer immediately powered up and the log in screen and I heard frantic typing again. At this point, I was

angry. I stormed across the room, shut the laptop off, closed it and pulled the power cord. I couldn't explain the typing, which had me little scared, but I never, but I needed sleep and had solved my light problem or so I thought. Interesting. I like that. I mean, this is the beginning of the Spooktown. This is the incline that we're on the tiktok of the roller coaster. I mean, if it's a haunted kid, right? He's probably a recently dead kid.

If he knows how to log into Windows 10. Yeah, he obviously, like, he's like, I have those dreams where I've missed. Do you have the dreams where you show up to class and like, he's the final and you're like, what? All the time. All the time. I just had like shitty dreams in school

where I'd like wake up and have like a normal day of school and then get up and just like have to go to school. I really did this. This sucks. Yeah. Not long after I returned to bed, the laptop powered back on while closed. I could hear it and see it and see the light was emitting.

Then the typing resumed again while the lid was still closed. At this point, I was terrified. Ice hair easily. I shut my eyes tightly, turned away from the desk and did the best to ignore it. After several minutes, the typing finally ceased and the laptop powered down. At that point, I was exhausted and fell to sleep.

What's fucked up? Yeah, well, listen, your roommate's got to do a term paper, you just got to suck it up, put some ear plugs in. Yeah, even if your roommate's dead. Yeah, yeah. My dead roommate, that sounds like a great movie from the 90s. I used to sleep in this very room

when four people lived in this apartment together. Yeah, there's a lot of breathing going on. And I would sleep and at like, like I already had like goblin hours, I'd go to sleep at like one, 15, 2 a.m. every night. But you want to eat before midnight? Yeah, but fucking my roommate Zach would play wow till like the middle of the night.

Like, or till the morning. And I would be like laying in bed and hearing like, fuck! Typing and like pounding Gatorade and shit. Just say hydrated. Yeah. Oh, that's tough. Do you have PTSD?

Do you ever like, when you see wow, do you just like picture yourself like not sleeping? You're like, ah, PTWOW. Thank you. What would world of warcraft do? Yeah. So now to Self-Depunked, you're welcome, Jessie. The house probably isn't haunted.

It has only, it only had one previous owner. It's builder. He and his wife used to entertain, and as a showpiece, to get others to hire them to build houses. I cannot give specific providence of the desk without asking my father. What is essentially impossible as he is more cynical than Jesse? Couple that with daily viewing of Fox News and many conversations are difficult. I apologize that you're maybe he can come out of it.

You can deprogram them. You got unemployment TV? 5 of PS5. Yeah, I apologize that you're maybe he can come out of it. You can do program them. You got to unplug the TV. Find my PS5. Yeah, honestly. You think so? Yeah. It's crazy. Like, find my PS5, show me Soka. You know, just get him.

Get him. Just like get him out of the app. Yeah. Well, I myself haven't been diagnosed with anything other than ADHD. I had met regularly seeing and hearing things without getting into too much detail Tri-sleeping while reality around you subtively warps like seeing a miniature Marajade fight in a in a miniature

Raincore like like the Indian in the cupboard like what are we talking about? Like a little Marajade with a little purple lightsaber or hearing the Pokemon Center theme blast from all around you However, I know these events aren are real and can distinguish them from reality. Okay. I feel like I've had that experience because you would plug in the headphones into your Game Boy and sometimes you would mess up. Oh my God. And it's like off on off on. Yeah, it's like static. Yes. Like a TikTok that's like supposed to be too loud on purpose. Yeah. Yeah. Yo, do you know about all of our old bands now do TikTok songs? Oh, no. Not yellow card, but I was going down on Apple Music.

I went to them and then I like, Rufio has got like a slow jam song. That's like all the like beach, all the like beachy punky sort of emo Corey band. What happened to them? They're all making lounge music. They want to be young, bro. They want to be young.

They don't like that outfit doesn't look good on an old person. I also check the tree outside the desk window. It wasn't long enough to hit the window even in KS went. Yo, shout out to KS went. KS went. That's ridiculous. It was very easy to tell since it was early spring and the tree had a few buds and no leaves. I also think I can distinguish the sound of typing being on a computer. I can also think I can distinguish that sound from typing being a computer science major. Well, that's my story.

Hopefully I didn't come on too long. If you want any pictures of the desk or house, hit me up, absolutely post those pictures. Oh, if you really want me to ask about the desk, I'll try. Ask about the desk. I mean, sorry about your dad, but ask. Oh yeah, absolutely.

Please keep on keep it on as the pod has helped me through a myriad health problem. Hell yeah. Bye, health problems are the worst, whatever those things are. I am so happy that this show can help you through those times. Bing-Bing-Bong. PS, if the story didn't make it obvious, I consider myself an Alex. I also quite enjoy whenever he chills the brand.

Tachyon.com slash somebody pun. Heart. The. Heart emoji. Heart emoji. Love that. It's weird. That's a weird thing to happen to your laptop. And we can't but poo and say, yeah, it was a weird laptop. You did a bad job of installing it. You should buy a regular one and not use old technology.

But the typing, the typing, the typing is weird. Yeah, and shoutouts to the beard, bros fans that are freaking out about trying to figure out who's typing. There's a long standing inside joke that everybody thought I was typing when I was fucking typing. I don't know what the fuck that was about but who was typing but somebody was. Sounds like ghost typing to me. Somebody was. This is the last one. This is number seven.

It's called, How to Funny Dream About Aliens. This is one for us to interpret. And here we go. It's from. Oh yeah. User shit poster 5000, except the H is a four. Friends with Power Man 5000 were the O is actually a zero. Y'all can read this on the podcast, Hard emoji.

Had one of my typical. Do people write things and they're like, that's my story, don't read this on the podcast. I always just say to tell me when you can because I don't wanna like read something on the podcast that people are like, just trying to write. I appreciate consent at the utmost. Yeah, absolutely.

How do one of my typical star dreams wandering around under a dark sky looking up hoping to see the cosmic spectacle that is our universe and maybe pair it up with a flying dream and take a trip among the stars. I was on the beach, which is very unusual for me, more of a high desert guy I know the vibes, and but I'm totally a beach guy. I never dream of the beach. I always dream of landlocked places. Because, do you think it's because you're from San Diego

and you learn to get away? You're like yearned, you were like, I don't wanna be here. It may be, because we went back to San Diego and the beach was like calming. I was like, oh, this is the feeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm from San Peter, it's the same thing.

You just see it, you're like, I am a beach person. I live here, whatever you do, it Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm from San Peter at the same thing. You just see it, you're like, I am a breach person. I live here. I'm a horrible person. Whatever you do, it doesn't matter. Yeah. And there were friendly strangers around, you know, Eugene Organ Stoneers, who will cheerfully share a cricket top to pizza with you, shockingly delicious, by the way. From the Southern Horizon came a medium bright white light.

If it were in my hand, it would be the size of a marble. It made its way to the north at the same pace as your typical satellite, the way way way brighter than any I'd ever seen. It disappeared over the edge, then from the northern horizon came a massive bright white light bigger than the moon at shocking speed. It curved about overhead, and I caught a glimpse of an eye inside a triangle on the ship's underside just as it dove into the water to the west, directly out from me and my fellow hippies.

I thought to myself, no wonder they came up with that eye in pyramid icon if that's what an alien's engines look like. Yeah, they look like the Illuminati, that's where that symbol comes from. It's not an interpretation of the all-seeing eye. It's just literally what they saw, that's what it looked like. Then I realized it was a dream and decided I'd like to see it again, and it obligingly popped up out of the ocean again, up close and enormous, bigger than a two story house. Hard cut to talking to a couple of aliens and stoners in a nearby room.

The stoners were all about the fate of humanity and what the aliens could do to save us from ourselves and arguing with each other over which atrocity to prioritize, while the aliens stood there be mused and putting in their vague two cents when asked. What do the aliens look like? You can't just say aliens, because then do I just assume they're grays? It was clear they were in over their heads. I'm imagining it was grays like smoke and little doobies,

but it could be mantises. I could absolutely see a mantis hold a doobie. That's true. Like, grays with, like, brack or a Zora. Yeah, thank you. I decided to offer them a more manageable problem to start with dental work This is where I kind of slipped out a lucid dreaming gear back into what the fuck territory I've got a super crooked tooth up front and a very pushy wisdom tooth. I've never had a dress

So I said hey, could you just pull these two out and close up the wounds after the aliens were like yes An easy problem with a clear solution. Let's go. I'm Mr. Meezie Yes, an easy problem with a clear solution. Let's go. I'm Mr. Meezie. They started laying out their instruments, and I turned my back for a bit, and was saying those long goodbyes to the hippies, you know the kind where they don't actually want to leave,

but they know it's rude to stick around, so it's just a long, slow shuffle out the door, take, talking the whole way, finally got them all out and turn around and see they've laid out the full contents of my kitchen drawers on the operating table, and were enthusiastically examining a can opener. I told them, you know what, I'm going to have a human dentist do this. You pulled out too many spoons for my comfort level.

They were a bit crestfallen, but consoled themselves that they got to discover the whisk. Kind of Douglas Adams, Lolls. Edit to add this may be a product of reaching that part of End Walker with the bunnies on the moon Could be that's a Jesse that's for Jesse. That's a Jesse. That's for Jesse Jesse knows those deep cuts. Yeah, Jesse's license plate is actually end walker, which is so funny I I I have so dreams I My dreams are not an Olympic playground where I get to go jump and do whatever I want they are some

They're so often movies that just affect me internally. So like when I hear stuff like this, I'm so jealous. Like you got to talk to aliens. Right. It's like how mathis is. Mathis just wishes he's too thirsty. The aliens get too grossed out by his vibes and they don't want to come pick him up.

He's looking into chaos magic, so we'll see where it goes. I don't know if it chaos magic has dominion over the alien realm. All of my text messages with math is back and forth, consistent of, have you seen this? And then we go, I thought I'd say, I have seen it or haven't seen it. And then I send him things and then he tells me he's seen it or hasn't seen it.

Just start seeing our hands and see it. People to each other. It's all covered. I know vibes. But yeah, I mean, interpreting this dream, it's like a very literal dream. I think maybe I would say this is like a kind of lucid fantasy more than it is like a dream. Feels more like a trip.

Well, and it's also funny. Let's pose that. It's a simple thing of like, oh, okay, we can fix your teeth. That's super easy. Okay, so what if a magic wand came out tomorrow that took all the dentists away from our society? That's true.

Right. Like, very stonery, like very, very like, uh, uh, flow of consciousness thinking type dream. And then also the red thing, the, the red illuminati eye then was a ship. Like it wasn't just an idea or something else. It was a thing that you could go inside of. Yeah, like maybe the ship actually just has an eye. Maybe it's an organic ship.

Well, that's what they say, Alex, the metal feels alive on these things and you have to interact with that as well. It's something to do with consciousness. Yeah, so who knows? Like maybe the dream, maybe aliens can visit. Maybe you can have alien encounters in your dreams. What if the aliens in the ship

are just the manifestation of the craft? Which is why the grays are like these robots the manifestation of the craft, which is why the grays are like these robots? It's the ship, but it's in all, it's like a little piece in all of these little guys. Yeah, like a little, like a drone. Right. And then the plane falls down and the guys are like, oh, shit, I fucked up, man. It's like, right, their brain isn't working.

They're just like bad and like C3PO just getting blasted to pieces. When he was naked. Yeah. That nude scene he did in the Phantom of Us. That meager C3PO, they can barely walk. The endemic C3PO. Yeah, he makes some nice. Yeah, that's what I think.

I think, how about this? This is, here's a wild theory. Aliens want to communicate with us and they tell, they like sort of telepathically communicate. So maybe it's easier for them to actually speak with us in our dreams because we can kind of accept them a little more and it's a little bit safer and they don't have to come here. It all feels right but now we're done but like isn't the other version of this woo woo language of like when you're in a dream you're in a higher you're resonating on a higher level we can check your

REM waves right we can like see where you are. Yeah. Is it REM or is that just the Bayon? No, I think that's what their name is. I think that's what their name is. Okay. Have you seen that thing? Did we talk about this last time?

Did we? I'm tripping. This comedian, it's like a comedy central type thing where it's like animated. He's like telling a story about the time he was doing drugs. That's Dr. Katz. I didn't realize too much later life. Dr. Katz was just animated versions of comedians. Dr. Katz is incredible. I love that show.

No, but this was like, this was like him telling like a story and there was like just kind of like drunk, like a like drunk history, but it's like and like draw my life old school YouTube types stuff. Yeah. And he's talking about that he had a DMT vape pen that he was using, that he used like 25 times to see the machine elves.

So the little elves took him to this place that he was like familiar with every time and he'd meet this like purple lady who looked like almost like an archetypal sort of like insensitive depiction of a gypsy. Oh, interesting. You know, and he'd meet this girl, and she'd be excited to see him, and she'd remember him, and he had such intimate relationship with her that he felt almost like he was in a relationship with her, and...

Was it a stupider? Did they make babies? Like, mate, like, I don't remember, but it was like... Just heavy-pedding. Well, she would get jealous when you'd have a girlfriend in the real world and stuff like that. And one time they were out looking at something beautiful and he was like, I wish there was a way that you could like prove to me that you're not just my imagination. And she was like, if I think of a way, I'll figure it out. And so another guy wanted to try this guy's DMT pen. And he was like, this special blend will take you to her.

He was like, he didn't say anything. He didn't want to tell him anything because he didn't want to influence his trip at all. And he was just like, hit this, hold it as long as you can, and then just keep hitting it until you can't hit anymore. Until you hit the rainbow waterfall. And so he keeps hitting it and he just holds it and he's just like, I don't think it's working.

I don't think it's working. I think I took too much. I think I took too much. I think I took too much. And then suddenly he like breaks through. And he's saying he sees the little elf guys that everybody sees. And he's like talking to himself and he's now dissociated. Now he's kind of like reporting back while the guys like standing in the room with him while

he's tripping kind of talking to him. Yeah. And he's like almost like channeling or something. And he's like, wow, they really love you in here. And he's like, yeah, I know it's such a like welcoming place. And he's like, no, no, they love you in here. And he's like, there's his purple chick. And she's like, what's his purple chick and she's like,

what's up? She's like, hey, she says, how are you? Like, tell him hello. And yeah, you know, kind of interesting. That's very interesting. That's a crazy story. It's obviously, it's the same thing as the PhD. Like, who the fuck knows?

But it's an interesting thought. And even without the purple lady, those little elves, everybody sees them. Everybody sees them. Yeah, everybody sees them. So like, what's that about? You know, I don't know. Do you ever, does your audience ever give you elf stories?

Do you ever ask for... I've never asked for drug trips before, but that like psychedelic dissociative drug trips. Can I piggyback on this and have them, I mean, whatever the story is. Our slash Chilimanati pod throw that in please Well listen, I'll do you what better we issue challenges to them all the time okay You I would love well I do a podcast called story time. Yeah, these are all great stories. Yeah, yeah

I don't want to jack your bread and butter, but we'll do it all much to it Yeah, I'll go post on there. Yeah, yeah I'm gonna read these yeah go to Archie Luminati Pod and give some story time fodder for Santa. What do you want me to mine from them? Because you've never gotten leprechaun stories or we ask stories. We ask green man. We ask for specific stuff all the time. So if we just want to say if you're out there listening, go on the go on the subreddit and give us like your psychedelic drug trip stories, give us your less traveled road, sort of bizarre paranormal or like mythical or folklorical encounters.

I'll do you one better because as a long time in Viber of cannabis, even if I was high out of my mind, if I saw a fucking ghost, I'm telling you I saw a ghost. I've never casually- I'm very in control of my, I'm very like high functioning as a drug you, but not on like shrooms. Just shrooming. I didn't say it was on shrooms, if I was on weed.

So if you got high in a haunted house, what happened? Okay, yeah, just, you know what? Did you see a face in the smell? I'll take like Cheech and Chong level stuff too. You know what I mean? Just people just gonna be sister Mary elephant jokes. Some Scooby-Doo BS. I'll take that. I mean, I guess that is what if we're talking about smoking weed in a haunted house, that is Scooby-Doo, right? That's what they did. Mine is we never saw the one. Pretty much, yeah.

Yeah. Um, Maynard G. Krebs, Bob Denver. Great. Yeah. Mods, I'm coming. I'm gonna go post this. You're gonna say, give me your stories. Do you want to read them? Do you want us just to read them?

No, dude, that's a great, it's a great little collab. Like, first of all, go listen to Storytime, Santella David. Thank you. Uh, give them some info. How can they find it? It's everywhere. Uh, it's everywhere. Uh, yeah. What are you talking about on the show find it? It's everywhere. It's everywhere.

Yeah. What are you talking about on the show right now? David's in the middle of doing animarfs. Oh my God, that's still going. They are. Are you doing like one book? They're PTSD survivors. Do you're in a war where they make genocidal diseases?

Are you in the final battle? We're on book. No, we just did the vissarers had their trial. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're on book. No, we just did the viscer, the visors had their trial. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And they were like, where this woman's body is this kid's mother and the body wants to kill him, but sometimes they can like push that down to the mom's like, I'm so sorry, I love your father. I love him. That she turns back into a suicidal maniac. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's where we're at. Wait, wait till the final battle. Okay. You will be...

They keep saying he's dead in some. Yeah. Like, I don't understand how they all make it out of this a lot. You know, uh... Tobias is a fucking bird boy. Forever. You know that, you know that, uh... Ever!

You know that game speck ops the line that's like a shooter, but it's like about the horrors of war? No, that's a great, that sounds like a great idea for a game. It was on, it was on PS3. It was pretty good. Uh, that's a great, that sounds like a great idea for you. It was on PS3, it was pretty good. That's what animorphs becomes. Get ready for the end of animorphs. Every time I'm like, these animorphs are dumb, they do something amazing.

Yeah, animorphs was a vibe. And then I'm in the middle of Brims Brothers, Grims Brothers, they are. We are. We're being a David of the Brims Brothers. We're a hub, but we're the Grim Brothers. Yeah, you'reim Brothers. We're being a David and the Brim Brothers. Brim Brothers. We're the, we're the Grim Brothers. Yeah, yeah.

You're about to tell David about the goose girl. Oh, so you're doing all the fairy tales? I do, yes. Yeah, that's what I'm doing right now. Yeah, I know. I got a, this Costco book and I was just like, right, let's do another fucked up. It's a good thing.

The show is the challenge of other stories. Yeah, yeah. We have guests on, we have people coming on. I've been trying to get Alex to tell me the complete story of Metal Gear Solid. Oh my God, dude. I could do it, but I need to do homework. Just do part one, just do part one.

Actually, you know what, there's an app on PlayStation that has like a timeline that we could go through together. Great, great, great. Read me at the timeline, tell me where we're at because there's gonna be things I don't know. Yeah, dude, there's things that nobody knows. It's like Twin Peaks. It's like the Nair series where everything's canon,

everything that's happened in these games, it's all canon. No, there's a couple of games that are canon. I think the acid games aren't canon. Okay, and I don't know about the portable ops games, but the ones with numbers are canon. Okay, and the NES game? The original one that's not on NES is canon Okay, the one that's like the like on MSX those ones are canon not the NES ones. I've never even okay

Those are like inferior version great. I'll go watch a playthrough of an MSX game get the no get yet Get the the Metal Gear collection it has everything on there doesn't really yeah up to this one goes to three and then obviously Probably the next one's gonna have four and five and peace walkers cannon and and yeah, but the point is your alien dream Was about you feel like alienated in society and you need to do a better job of fighting friends, you know Jean-Luc Godar Like breathless breathless band apart. He's like sure or band of band of outsiders He did like do restless breathless band apart. He's like sure or band band of outsiders He's like the French new wave film director with that has like like all those movies like that I just saw French new wave movie where they wanted to be like American. They do a choreographed dance scene Yeah, yeah, is that the movie of in fan-man to found yeah, yeah, exactly

That's good that movie. Yeah, that's fantastic. It's crazy It's a it's like one of the most beautiful movies ever made I run through the run to the the museum. Yeah, dude That's a great movie, but this guy had a turn in his life go to our where he just kind of started to make politically Fueled essays and that's basically a metal gear soleno Metal who saw it is like a pretty awesome stealth game that like you get to play every once in a while while learning you're put his manifesto inside of a video. It's like a pinchanian like Manifesto political manifesto. Listen, I can't believe I'm gonna say this out loud into the world But I can't wait for death stranding to I can't wait to do more walking. I'm totally doubt. I can't believe you guys haven't done

Metal Gear Solid actually on Game gentleman's gaming club, which is another place you can go see Cento. It's a great one. I'll I'll pitch it to the team. Maybe we do the PlayStation one. I mean, where do you start with that series? You know what I mean? It's so the play, the gameplay is so good. I would start just with mental gear solid. Okay. Yeah. And then you can go from there if you like it. Yeah. Beat that game and then that proves your video game. Even just even that one, you'll be like, this is the greatest thing. It fits right in. Okay. Yeah. Beat that game and then that proves your video gamer. Even just even that one, you'll be like, this is the greatest thing.

It fits right in. You'll work. But that's the show. Thank you guys so much for listening. Again, reminder, please go to patreon.com slash to the 90 pod. We're selling the audio and it's very good. It sounds great.

The audio of our show in Los Angeles that if you couldn't come to it, this is your chance to cost $5. And everyone who is a patron at any level gets to listen to it completely for free. And then go on ticket master, if you have a good time listening to that, and buy a ticket to the show in December 3rd, San Tells is gonna be there.

I'm gonna be there. Davis is gonna be there. Other guests are gonna be there. You could probably guess who some of them are. Some of them might record something because they're from out of state. We'll see. We have tons of friends.

It'll be a good old time. It's also the poster, if you haven't seen it, it's Twin Peaks. It's great. So get high. The tickets are live now. Go get them on ticket master. Take that.

Give that money over. $1. They're reasonable. Yeah, go buy it. Go buy it. That's it, patreon.com slash chumay pod. And if you want to come see us live. Tearogram ballroom, Chaluminati, December 3rd,

downtown Los Angeles. I'll be there. Don't stay in downtown Los Angeles. Stay somewhere else. Yes. Take an Uber to downtown Los Angeles from the night. Go to Westwood or somewhere a little nicer. Don't go downtown.

But there's nice parts of downtown. I'm talking shit. But that's our show. Santel, thanks so much for coming on again. Thank you for having me at any time. Anywhere else you want to send anybody to go find some stuff that you've done. Sentel, thanks so much for coming on again. Thank you for having me. Any time. Anywhere else you want to send anybody to go find some stuff that you've done online? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I needed to go to the bathroom so I stepped back inside and after a few moments I hear my wife go Holy shit get out here! So I quickly dashed back outside and she's looking up the sky and fall I look up too and there's a third line of dozen lights traveling across the sky 1 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 1. Draw the line on the left and right. 1. Draw the line on the left and right.

1. Draw the line on the left and right. 1. Draw the line on the left and right. 1. Draw the line on the left and right. Metrolinx and cross links are reminding everyone to be careful as Eglinton Cross-Town LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert, this trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals, be careful along our tracks, and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. When you work out with Peloton, you're going to keep coming back for more. And with up to $950 off Peloton purchases, now's the time to bring home a Peloton, you're gonna keep coming back for more. And with up to $950 off Peloton purchases,

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