Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 249 - Demon Dogs with Special Guest Dodger!

Episode Date: May 12, 2024

Dodger RETURNS after THREE YEARS  and brings us a lesson on Demon Dogs! MERCH - http://www.theyetee.com/collections/chilluminati Special thanks to our sponsors this episode - All you lovely people at HTTP://PATREON.COM/CHILLUMINATIPOD Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - http://www.youtube.com/user/superbeardbros Editor - DeanCutty http://www.twitter.com/deancutty Art Commissioned by - http://www.mollyheadycarroll.com Theme - Matt Proft

Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the Jaluminati podcast episode 249. As always, I am one of your hosts, Mike Martin joined by the Jack Janice and what's your other one of LA? What's her name? Hang on. I got you. I'll look it up. You didn't even get Janet and Chrissy of LA.

There it is. That's what I'm looking for. Jack, Janet and Chrissy. That's Alex, Jesse and returning special guest, Dodger. That's Three's Company. That's Three's Company. Come on. You don't know about Three's- Oh my God. What you said was Jack, Janet's, pause.

Yeah, I had to think of the other one. Chrissy. And I thought Jack, Janet's was a person. Oh, okay. Andissy, and I thought Jack Janis was a person. Oh, okay. And then, and I was like, is this a morning radio show? Who the hell is Jack Janis? Jack, comma, Janet, comma, and Chrissy of LA and England, Alex, Jesse, and returning guest Dodger. Welcome back, Dodger.

Hello. I'm so excited to be back. Thanks for having me, guys. Thanks for coming back. I looked at what episode it was that you were here last and it was episode 66. Oh my God. How long ago is that?

Three years ago. No, don't tell me that. Yeah. God. Yeah, it's been three years. Welcome back. Yikes. Time.

Yeah. It's a thing, it happens, I guess. A weird soup of time. Yeah, dude. When you were here last, did we have the ask every guest a question of like where they are on the believer spectrum? No. Alex is usually the one to ask it, so I'm going to hand it to Alex because he's better at this.

Okay. So before we even get into that, I just want to do something really quick that I wanted to do last week, but we had a We took a week after Eight-hour fucking deep dive into the zodiac killer. Yeah, and I'm not here to spoil anybody's which part of that Is this episode? Oh, yeah, is it part four section three chapter six done? We're past it So everybody else everybody else hopped on the program and got a handled it was so easy for them I'm supposed to be here? The reason I ground this show to a halt

was that it was Mathis' birthday last week. Oh, yes. And I don't want to spoil anything for you because you've been working on something for a while now, and I don't know if the cat's out of the bag. So I'm just going to show you a picture of what I got you for your birthday. I'm just going to hold it up in front of the camera.

Okay. And you're just going to, you can just react to it and you can reveal as much. Thank you for getting me anything at all. Genuinely. I did not. It's fine. It's not, it's nothing. Don't it's not crazy, but it is, but it is, but it is like on brand and after a

hundred days, congratulations. Thank you, man. Yeah. I'm almost done. No, that's sick. That's super sick. I love that. Yes, the cat's not out of the bag yet,

so I won't say exactly what it is, but it is alien themed. And that's going- It looks very good. Immediately going to use when I get my hands on that. Thank you, Steve. That's great. I love that.

Thank you so much. So happy birthday, man. Thank you. Thank you, man. I appreciate it. I love you guys. Now, Brooke, back to the show. Yeah dude. I wanna know what kind of vibe you have.

Do you get excited when you see paranormal stuff on TV? Do you get excited like Jesse, cause he wants to crush the dreams of the people who love it? Do you wanna escape to a world where maybe it could be true? Have you seen some shit and this is just confirming what you've always known. What's the vibe? And also, I want to say, Jesse's had a whole character arc on the show

when it comes to aliens at the very least. So, you know, change is possible. Change is possible. Shakes hand. I am in that camp of like, I want to believe. I don't immediately believe anything like, I want to believe. I don't immediately believe anything. Okay, that's good.

But I love hearing about paranormal things. I love hearing people's personal accounts. I love thinking about like, what could that, you know, in a world where none of that is possible, then what could that be? You are literally exactly the way Alex describes himself. Yeah, it's true. And it's just a good time, right?

Like the idea of Bigfoot is exciting. It's fun to believe. Yeah. It's fun to think like, I don't have proof it didn't happen, But I'm not going to immediately believe that it did happen if that makes right. Yeah Healthy mind so if you don't it doesn't sound like you have very many Crazy things that have happened to you personally, but like are there another thing? I like to ask people is like do you have any like family stories or like that one-time grandma? Kicked a ghost through the wall or whatever the hell?

Oh, we have a lot of On my mom's side of the family. There's a lot of you know, uh great grandmothers that could see auras or Okay, uh great aunties that Would always know when someone was gonna to die, you know, things like that. Oh my God.

So we, yeah, we had a lot of stories like that growing up. So you just live in a Neil Gaiman comic book? That's pretty cool. Yeah, basically. No, you'd think that because I grew up pretty remote, like in a very woodland sort of setting, and you'd think that more weird shit would have happened with how often I just kind of went into the woods and stayed there all day. But I really didn't run into a whole lot of stuff that made me go, well, I have no explanation for that. You know? That's true, yeah.

I wish I had more. I wish I had more. I wish that as an adult now I could be like, and I still don't know where that shadow came from in the middle of the day. But I don't have anything like that, unfortunately. I vibe with that. The answer is valid regardless, you know what I mean? I think people just want to know what to think of you.

You know what I mean? Sure. Yeah. I think they want to know just they just want to see how their friend Dodger feels about stuff. You know what I mean? The paranormal. They want to know the foundational level that someone is coming onto Chaluminati with. Like what vibe are they bringing to the table, right? I feel like everybody has some interest in the paranormal for either if it's just because

of your skeptic as hell about it or because you're a full believer. I feel like it's got to be, everybody's got to have a little interest in it. Even Jesse, who's like a staunch non-believer, gets a little hype when we talk about it. The weird history stuff. From the lore perspective, he gets into it and then also just getting to talk shit on it is part of the fun, right? I don't know, like it's all, it's all, I don't know. It's, I would say that what we talk about on the show is like the American pastime. Like, I think like the most American

cultural thing there is, is this kooky woo woo stuff. Yeah. It's fun to engage with. To be honest, I listened to Chiluminati a lot. Um, I like listening to you guys cause you're my friends and it's fun and it's just like a comforting thing to listen to for me. And I feel like, correct me if I'm wrong, Jessup, but I feel like there's also this element of like problem solving there of if somebody, if you're reading a story or if somebody like comes with their personal account and it's very like, and then this happened and there's just no explanation.

Jesse seems to immediately go into like, okay, I'm going to start mentally making a checklist of like, what are the things that could have done this? You're all probably wondering why I asked you to my drawing room today. And the answer is elementary. Pulls out pipe, leans back and chins. I love a good mystery. could have done this. You're all probably wondering why I asked you to my drawing room today. Pipe leans back in chair. I love a good mystery. What can I say? I like solving things and every mystery is something to be solved. And sometimes you can solve it and sometimes it's unsolvable. And, uh, in many cases, the reason why it's unsolvable because it's a little shit.

So you just have to figure out what that is. Like I said, I imagine in your head that the Batman Arkham origins, 3d crime scene just like on the enter my, I enter my mind palace, your mind palace and you're just running it back and forth the footage and just like, okay, where's the logical and fat fallacy? I mean, to be honest, most of the time it's because people smarter than me will post something or show something and I'm like, okay, that's something to go off of. And then I'll go down that path rather than like, I think I know better than everyone and I'm just like, no, some dude who works for like X like NASA or like some company or the government or whatever was like, this is the thing.

And no matter what I say, it's going to be like NASA, the government, a company. I wonder what they're trying to hide. And it's like, this is the thing. And no matter what I say, it's going to be like, NASA, the government, a company? I wonder what they're trying to hide. And it's like, okay, all right, here we go. But it's, you know, it's just something that I'll never truly believe it unless an alien shows up and is like, greetings nerds. Hello, Jesse, it's me, an alien. You were right.

You are the most important person on this planet. You were right about all of the most important person on this planet. You were right about all of it. It was la bullshit. Bye bye. And I would be like, that guy told the truth. I'd be so happy. But I also, you would be a fool to be like, well, there's nothing in the universe. You know what I mean? So there's like that weird, like I can believe that aliens are real and not believe that like we're important enough for them to give a shit. Yeah. Because a lot of the stories don't make sense.

Like when you think about it, logically, a lot of it makes no sense. But then if you're like, well, how do we know that aliens think like us? Then it's like, all right, you might be right. I don't know. So then you just kind of go with it. I, uh, yeah, I agree. It's been fun. I like to, I like. It's been fun.

I like to I like to talk to people about these things. But like it's really not a good vibe to like bring it up and then they're excited and I'm like I've got a podcast about it. It just doesn't it doesn't like it right. Yeah. Yeah. I think that I always do to like see where they're at before I get into that is I give them the Nukes Top 5 test.

Oh yeah. Do they know who like Nukes is? You just watch one episode of Nukes Top 5 and you just. By the end you'll know who this person is as a human being. It's like chills kind of, but it's even less discerning. He's like, sometimes he's like, this is no one knows the source of this video. So you decide if it's even less discerning. He's like, sometimes he's like, this is, no one knows the source of this video. So you decide if it's real yourself. Like, you know, I don't know.

It's good stuff. I know we gotta get to the episode. I saw a movie last night and it was, it adds to my list of weird movies I've seen now. Dodger, the thing is I've never really seen a lot of movies but the movies I've seen are kind of random. I saw for the very first time last night, fucking Little Monsters.

Why? Why? Why? Holy fuck, that movie was awful. Little Monsters? Holy crap. Little Monsters, Howie Mandel playing a blue alien, and Fred Savage being his like little kid friend. It was, it's a movie of the time.

I've never seen this. Don't, please don't. Because I don't think any of you were born when this movie came out. What is the plot of that movie? That is a movie where things happen? It is a movie of its time. It's like an ET, like a runoff movie.

No, it is a really budget Beetlejuice. Because that's how Howie Mandel acts the whole time is like a weird Beetlejuice, but it's like crying way too hard. It's is like a weird Beetlejuice, but it like, right. Said Fred way too hard. It's not like a great movie, but it is the most eighties movie there ever was. If you want to see like a, like a stranger things, adjacent kids, monster type movie, that's less Beetlejuice and more just like a, like a movie that you would like to watch, uh, check out monster squad.

That's the winner. That's a good one. That's the winner. That's it good one. That's the winner. It's like Goonies, but they say fuck. It's great. Although just watch the Goonies. Yeah, I haven't seen either of these movies. Dodger, you're unique for a guest because you're the only one that comes here and actually does the work or any work at all. Hold on. Admittedly, admittedly. What? You're talking about Krendor. Let's just, let's not pretend we always prepare the topics for the guest and that's by design, but Dodger is the only one who comes in with some bangers though.

Pat, we said we're going to do dreams and that dude brought dreams. It was fucking great. I'm just saying, but Dodger's like the, she's in charge of today's episode. She has the range. She came prepared with a whole ass script and everything. So it's because the first time that I was going to be coming on, that was the first option that you gave. It felt like the normal option. You were like, yeah, I mean, you can come with your own topic and write the thing. We still do. We still give that as the first option.

It's just, you know, I'm the guest at this point. I would never give Krendor that option anymore. He doesn't ever want to do it. I would love to see an episode completely run by Krendor though. Like what, what would that even be? That would be the end of this show is what it would be. Yeah, I let Krendor pour me drinks for one night and I don't, I got in a fight with my girlfriend and I don't remember how I fell asleep.

So, you are in charge of today. I'm in charge. I'm in charge as a stylist. What's today's episode all about? Okay. So first off, I want to give a warning for anybody who is listening right now. And I guess also for you guys that we're going to be talking about dogs and unfortunately some of what I'm talking about is sad dog stuff. We're going to be talking about sacrificial rights and death in general for people and

animals just tread with caution. I know that's not always easy to listen to. I tried to keep it as descriptively simple as I could. Whoa! Cats are so much better. Fuck dogs. Damn, wow. Goodbye to everyone.

Maybe this is in the episode for you. I'm so sorry. Yeah. Mathis owns many animals. Too many, I have two dogs. He has an extremely passionate relationship with animals. Mathis Mathis owns math Mathis owns many animals to man. I have two dogs. He has extremely. He has an extremely passionate relationship with animals.

I've never heard anyone ever in the history of the universe say fuck dogs. Not once have I heard, you know, that's how you know you're on the edge. Yeah, that's how you know you reach rock bottom. That's you may be in a Fargo like situation if you're out there screaming, fuck dog. Yeah. Wow. I don't know what that means. Fargo. Yeah. The movie. That's probably the best. What do you mean? Are you like, of course, I don't know what you're

the one who brought up your hatred of dogs and how much you hate dogs. That's true. That's so real. But I think like generally people love dogs or as I good people love dogs as I call them poop healthy, mentally stable. People love dogs or as I call them, as I call them poopers. Healthy mentally stable people love dogs. Good people love cats. Yeah, sure. You can't say a lot of things.

But like as we continue to discuss, as we do this episode, please feel free to replace the word dog with whatever you enjoy calling dogs. Buddies, children, DJs. Yep, yep, yep. More, more, more, more. Budd buddies, children, DJs, Baba babies, little tiny golf ball boys. My little Jeep boys.

I want to start this as little tiny golf ball boys. It's a golden retriever, like the most realistic image of a golden retriever. It's like scary game squad, but we just go to a mini golf course before the Reddit comments. I like, I love dogs. I like dogs. I'm joking. Please. God. He's trying to joke. Here's the thing. He realizes now I think that no one can see his face. Yeah, I know. It's only audio and I tried to save him. I tried to pull him back from the, I want to let you know, I was pulling you back from the edge. You tried and you were like, I'm making a joke.

And I was like, no. Yeah, I pull your hand away. I said, I need to do this. This is for me. No. Come on, please. Don't do this. I watched you put that ring on like Frodo.

And I was like, Mr. Mathis, no. Just like, wait, I changed my mind halfway down the fall. All right, sorry, go ahead. Okay, so guys, if you were to guess what the two most common traits are that sort of get slapped onto dogs, or poopers if you will, what do you think those two traits would be?

Loyalty is one, what's the other one? Stupid. Does that make sense? Like dogs are like, you know, when you think of a Goldeneye Trevor boyfriend, he's like loyal, but like Lyos from Dungeon Meshie. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Dogs are dumb.

You're going in the right direction. The other one is negative. Gross. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unclean. Hey. Oh, like a filthy dog. Not clean animals.

Dirty dog, yeah. All right, all right. Loyalty and uncleanliness. I think the four of us here, I believe have lived most or all of our lives in the West. We have the idea of like the loyal dog bestie pretty deeply rooted in us. Right? I thought you were going to say all of us are very loyal and unclean.

All of us are loyal and unclean. Dogs to the root. Podcasters. But yeah, you know, dogs will like roll around in their poop and then bite a rat and then hump an old lady and try to get in your bed. You know, and it's, you know. So, it hasn't always been that way, like the view of dogs being loyal. There are some sects of Christians that think it's a sin to let dogs near anything holy

and a lot of times they're not allowed in churches, literally because they're seen as like unclean animals. And a lot of cultures see dogs as like impure. There's a whole discourse over whether or not Muslims should even interact with dogs. I'm sure that there are listeners from a variety of cultures and religions right now. So let us know how you grew up viewing dogs. I'm very curious after doing all of this research. But another common depiction of dogs

that I was thinking about and wanted to explore a bit more and thought that it would suit a Chiluminati vibe is why are dogs also frequently seen as some sort of element in the process of death? What associates them with dying and the underworld with ghosts? Why does this umbrella term of hell hound exist? So two of the major ways that we tend to engage with animal depictions is to reflect the world as it is. So what are dogs? They're canines and they travel in groups, etc. But they hump your grandma. They hump your grandma. They bite a rat, you know.

Golf ball, but they're like really, yeah, exactly. They're little golf ball boys. Yeah. But another thing that we have done forever is try to look for answers to questions in nature. We make symbols out of stuff. It's part of the environment. In the past, we would try to interpret nature as best as we could, right? So maybe we're looking at a dog and we're like, why do they do that?

Why are they digging in graves? Are they drawn to death? Does this protective pack-like vibe follow them into the beyond? Are they drawn to death? Does this protective pack-like vibe follow them into the beyond? Are they favored in the afterlife? What is it? And these ideas, were they sort of culturally infectious? Did they spread in a way that's clear? Interesting. So, our first stop on our journey is ancient Egypt.

And you guys probably saw this coming. The earliest depiction of a canine, specifically a jackal headed man, hired to do a job in the afterlife is who? Abubis. Wrong. Wrong. Set.

No, Set's like a weird bird thing. Wepwet is technically the first jackal headed God. Um, what poet I am so I would, okay. Here. Can I also give a quick disclaimer? I'm going to say a whole lot of words that I have no, I can't guarantee. The podcast.

Now you're really on the show. Any of them wrong. Yeah. On the goddamn show. Welcome. So please be gentle with me. Um, they will not. Yeah. So there are many jackal headed gods. Whapowet potentially became Anubis. They might be the same thing. It's unclear. So it was kind of a gotcha question.

Damn it. Whapowet is seen like before 3000 BCE. So like pre-dynastic, way back. But as you guys just displayed, Anubis is the more popular guy, he has better PR, his role is a bit more agreed upon, so. Better branding. Much better branding, yeah. And on the topic of like how dogs in general were viewed,

and this is specifically jackals but in Egypt jackals are seen as death dogs all of them they're believed to be these cute little guides to help people into the afterlife they're depicted very positively from what I can tell so Anubis is the god of death for like a hot minute and then he eventually stabilizes as a god of mummification and burial rites. So I wanted to see if there were similarities in structure with Zolotl, who is an Aztec god.

And fun fact, also the namesake of Axolotl's. So that's fun. I was going to make a joke about that. No joke necessary. It's real. Yeah, put that right back in my pocket and throw it away. Zolotto looks hardcore. Yeah, he's commonly depicted as having a giant dog head. He's technically a god of fire, the brother of Quetzalcoatl,

who I think is much more well known. And they were soul guides for the dead. They would help create new life from old life, specifically from bones. And a cool thing for any of you who watch the movie Coco, for the dead. They would help create new life from old life, specifically from bones. And a cool thing for any of you who watch the movie Coco, which centers around Dia de los Muertos, there's a, what we commonly know as a Mexican hairless dog in that movie. The reason is because they're also known as Zolo dogs. They have a way longer name. I'm not

going to attempt it. Holoquintly. Here's some Holoquintly. The mythology is that Zolotl created this breed of dog from the bones of humans. Another cool side note is that the Zolo dog has not genetically changed in forever. It's one of the hardiest dogs on the planet because humans haven't really like interfered with its genetics at all or like tried to breed it in a certain way. It doesn't really have a lot of the like cute doggy stuff that a lot of other dog breeds have. It looks kind of like they're squirrely little dudes.

Yeah. Yeah. He's got a little mohawk. But it's believed that Zolotl made these dogs to act as spirit guides in his stead to basically be like tiny hymns. They're still associated with Dia de los Muertos in some places and in fact, a long time ago, if someone was really close with or owned a Zolo dog,

the dog would be sacrificed and buried with the owner to ensure that their protector in life was also their protector in death. So that sucks for the dog. Yeah, tiny you. What would they help you with? If I have a tiny me if you had a tiny you what would you what would you have? Not many me All right. That's true. You have a child. So that counts. I just want my little me to probably just roll me joints all day. That doesn't seem helpful or good.

That's why Mathis doesn't need a child. I feel like mini you would rebel after a while. Yeah, that seems like this. Mini me can smoke along with me. He's all good. He can take hits. He's still doing all the work. You turned your own self into a tiny butler.

If I had a mini me, I would turn him into a tiny little golf ball and I would hit him all the way across the golf course and make a hole in one. How dare you make your serve. I'm going to abuse mine. These are both bad. Yeah.

I don't want to ventures with, I imagine he'd be my best friend. We'd hang out. We like do cool stuff together. How can I ask how big is, I imagine he'd be my best friend. We'd hang out. We'd like do cool stuff together. There is? Can I ask, how big is like tiny you in your imagination? Oh, six inches. Larger than average.

Oh, about the size and shape of a golf ball. Yeah, I also was imagining like an inch tall thing that just looks exactly like me. Tom Thumb. There is a guyness. There's like a dude-ness to dogs. Yeah, all dogs are boys, all cats are girls. No, not like gender dude.

There's like a homey-ness. Like a, there's like a dude in the corner chilling with a hoodie on, and he's chilling out and he's up to his own, he's got his own vibes and he's throwing out vibes, but it's just a dog. Dogs are like guys like you want to be like sup to a dog in a way that you don't Do to like a turtle you know I would like to say hello Well, I feel like that's the least dude dog there ever was

yeah, even a chihuahua even a chihuahua you can be like what the hell and the chihuahua is like Like chihuahua is like all dogs to me I understand I'm just saying like there is thisua's like all dogs to me, I understand. I'm just saying like, there is this sort of like, and maybe it's just cause I'm a human who's been socialized with dogs for thousands of years now, but there's just a, I do feel like a human connection to dogs that I don't believe is just my projection.

Does that make sense? I think so We're gonna touch on that so hard in this so Yes, so you're you're you're starting the convo. I like that. I vibe So yeah, that was that was focusing on an Aztec God but like a lot of Mesoamerica, even like Native American tribes seemed to kind of agree with all of that in some way, shape or form,

it hasn't really changed over time. Lots of dog bones found with people bones. And none of them are like filthy dog creatures. They like the dogs and think dogs are blessed creatures. In this situation, yeah. Zolo dogs were seen as, it was believed that they like emitted this light. Some people literally cuddled them not only because it's fun to cuddle a dog, but also because they thought that they had like some sort of emotional and physical healing attributes like they were beloved dogs

100% agree. I kind of want one now. That's awesome Mayans and modern-day Oaxaca have pretty consistent stories of dogs helping people cross a spiritual river or a sea Helping them get to the land of the dead some Native American folklore depicts the dog spirit like as a whole entity, as choosing to be a companion to humans and in some legends, even giving up half of their life so that people could live longer lives. And much like we talked about earlier, dogs were part

of a lot of their religious ceremonies in the tribes that felt this way so that dogs could again help people get to the afterlife safely. So it's all very sweet aside from the sacrificing a bunch of dogs part. I do love the idea of a lot of people across the globe sort of seeing dogs as like psycho pumps, you know, as having some sort of like, like spiritual job that they're destined for. I actually love anything that makes my world seem a little bit more magical and interesting. So we can now circle back to Greece.

You can probably see where this is going as well. We have our first kind of proper hell hound in Cerberus who is more commonly depicted with three heads originally had like 50 and some of the stories he has a hundred. But I think at this point we've settled on three and that's a big golf ball boy right there. Yeah. And I thought because again, I wound up reading about so many dogs dude. And I thought maybe it was because in Albania, they also have like a three headed hellhound, who from what I can tell is literally just called

three headed dog, he guards the underworld. I was like, this could have sort of melded when the Arvanites settled in Greece, but it doesn't really line up timeline wise. So a lot of that more cultural crossover seems to happen in the common era. And as much as I would love to take this opportunity to delve into some cool Albanian lore, and there is a lot, there really isn't anything substantial about the dog, unfortunately, which I guess is why he's

literally just called three headed dog. So you can't win them all. So we're going to go back to Cerberus. He had the tail of a snake. Sometimes he has actual snakes just like growing out of his body. He first showed up in the theogeny by Hesiod, which is dated around like 700 BC. And he's, you know. That's so crazy.

He's like a, he's a big old guard dog. He's the hound of Hades. We've seen a million depictions of him. He keeps the dead from leaving the underworld. It's just wild that Hades too just came out and Cerberus is still in there and we're talking about him Yeah, that's true before like before Christ. Yeah, dude Yeah, it's nuts dude And then I have I literally had this thought the other night of just like wow humanity's been around for so long

Really long time. Yeah, and then you're like, but then dinosaurs were around for like 65 millions of years And then you're like, but then dinosaurs were around for like 65 million years. So we've got some catching up to do. We're fine. Yeah, yeah, we got this. At least we bomb each other. We got millions of years ahead of us. What is this shit?

You say at least we bomb each other? In that short time span. I just want to hear about dogs and You guys are off bombing each other. You know, even us off the rails. Who let Dodger conduct? I have a I have a fun fact. I have a fun fact about Cerberus. Yeah.

Last year, which is twenty twenty three for anybody who's listening to this years from now. But last year, a new discovery was made of a like two thousand ish year old painting of Cerberus and a tomb. And it's now been called the tomb of Cerberus. And it's like a new, a new find, which is cool. I'm just glad that something called that exists because it's cool as shit. Yeah. Yeah. And the drawing is super goofy. You should look it up.

Tomb of Cerberus painting. Yeah. Look at that painting. It's, it's goofball. Dude, the middle head, the middle head on the tomb of Cerberus painting is like Eddie Munster is in there. Like it's like there's two full dogs and then there's like a middle dog who got like the very short straw and like got neither his arms nor his legs as part of the design. I don't know if this is going to relate to anyone on the internet, but the other day I saw a video on TikTok that was a guy showing you how to draw medieval animals and it's literally the outline of an animal and at the very end after he made this like awesome looking animal just threw a person face on it.

And that is what this is. The dog in the middle that Alex is talking about, the head head in the middle is just like a dude face. And then there's two other dog faces attached. It looks like 14 year old me trying to figure out how anatomy works when you're trying to like draw, you know, just trying to get proportions right and like actually put effort into like a muscle structure. It looks like 70 year olds Hugh Jackman finally coming back to be Wolverine one more time in a movie. Now I have a question that you may or may not know the answer to, but consider this like guy with a beer across the table from you having a fun casual conversation question. Yeah.

I took an art history or like Greek history class or something. And the one thing that I thought was really interesting that I like absorbed about Cerberus was that there's like a Hindu Cerberus. Yes. Also. Yes. We're going to talk about it. And it like shares etymological link.

And that just is interesting to me, thinking about Cerberus as like a meme, if you know what I mean, yeah. I see what you mean. Yeah, he traveled, didn't he? Yeah, he like got around to India and they were like, yeah, Cerberus, Superman, Batman, got him.

Yeah, so yes, we're gonna get there in just a minute. Hold tight, hold tight, my friend. I'm with you, I'm with you. So another well-known guardian of the gates of hell, but with one L is Garm or Garmer. He guarded the gates of the afterlife and was considered the best of hounds by the Allfather. So we're in Scandinavia now.

Oh my God, love that, okay. He seems to start showing up in poetry and written myth around like the 900s. A lot of people are looking to link mythological similarities. They'll say that Garmer and Cerberus are essentially the same thing, but the big thing that I think is kind of a different vibe is that when you look into the Viking relationship with dogs, we don't have concrete information about when they started having these really strong relationships with dogs, but from what we can tell,

they lived with them, bought with them, worked with them. They created collars and leads. They were part of the family and part of their life. Much like in the Aztec tradition, people were buried with their dogs. A lot of dog bones are buried at battle sites and in plots with warriors. So it's clear that they also believed

that dogs would help guide them where they were meant to go. We have evidence of that, which might sound a little bit familial. And last on the underworld watchdog lineup, save for last on purpose, we have Shravarah and Shabala, who are owned by the Hindu death god, Yama. And they are, it's two dogs, they're gigantic four-eyed dogs

that hang out and guard Yama's home. Spirits have to make it past the dogs in order to receive judgment in death. And the dogs are sometimes talked about as like messengers that leave to find people who are about to die and bring them back to the right place. So this is interesting because scholars believe that Cerberus started as this myth,

that the Hindu dogs came before Cerberus. Not only that, they also believe that Odin's wolves, Gary and Frecky, who sit by his throne are possibly basically the same thing as Shravar and Shabalah, because they also sit by the throne of Yama. Interesting. Yeah. These Hindu stories, they're first seen in what I think is called the Rigveda. It's like a collection of hymns and that shit was written in like 1500 BC.

So it's like hella old. So trying to, you know, kind of like the last time I was on, trying to track like, okay, so what came first? When did people connect with each other? It's interesting trying to do that specifically with dogs and with like dog mythology, you know? But there's a lot of really cool crossover there and maybe they informed one another.

A lot of folklorists and historians seem to think so. But now, oh God, now we're in England. I'm gonna try not to take forever going through these, but this concept, like it, it really sunk in its claws and so to speak. Hey, yeah. You're going to see a lot of really similar attributes as we go. We're going to jump ahead in time.

The first written Christian like Hound of Hell, I think is in like the 12th century. But God damn long time ago, I'm going to start with the church grim. And then it's going to be like a Looney Tunes list of what are literally called the black dogs of England. There are so many, this idea talked about one or two on the show. It's God. They love, they love their scary black dogs. They're so in the church and like, like there's like a church was still might still be standing

today. Anyway, you can. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, um, the first one is, is a good boy. We're going to do good boy first. The church grim in England. I said earlier that some sects of Christians don't allow dogs near holy symbols or in churches. Um, this is a very different case. There are actual dogs that will live in churches, guard graveyards. They would even like, like a real living dog that would be called a church grim. But the folklore version here, the spooky concept, which I love is there's an old belief and it's not just here. It's, it's another place.

Pre-Christian. Um, there's an old belief that the first person buried in a graveyard was then locked in to be the guardian. So, yeah, would have to be the guardian of that graveyard. Oh, this person or spirit, they would be tasked with protecting the whole area against the devil. So I guess at some point they were like, well, we should, that shouldn't be a person, right? Like that's crazy.

So it became tradition that when there was a new plot to be used as a graveyard, the very first thing they would bury would be a black dog. An elephant with an AK-47. Exactly, which would have been way better, but you know, we worked with what we got. The devil would have been like, what the fuck? Yeah, this concept, it's in Scotland.

Areas of Scandinavia also do this. Again, we don't know how much they informed one another, but this idea that an animal needed to be buried or sadly walled up in a church to act as a watchman or a guard, sometimes it's a crow, sometimes it's a lamb. Dogs are very common. And they're often depicted as big black dogs that fight off mortals and demons alike, you know, like grave robbers and things, but.

I love that. Yeah. Unfortunately, again, you can probably guess church grims are sacrificed for this task. Shout out to all the dogs on this podcast that have been sacrificed. I'm so sorry. They're buried under graveyards.

Yeah. Damn. They're making sure we don't get gobbled up in the afterlife. They're very good dogs. We're gonna call that dog number one that is large and black with red or yellow eyes. Let's look at some more.

The Barguss is a monstrous black ghost dog in England, an omen of death with fiery eyes. The Black Shuck. So we're like in Baskerville land right now, right? Wait, dude. It's all, yeah. The Black Shuck also in England, large black dog, sometimes traveling in a pack with one or two bright red eyes. My favorite version is the Cyclops option. Travels to churches and kills people who are praying. The Guy Trash, not exclusively a dog, is a shape changer that likes to take the shape of a large black dog with red eyes and is believed to be a sign of death.

The Black Dog of Bully, monstrous black hound. The Bodoo, black dog for telling death. The Matty Doo, a large black dog. And if you see it, you die. That's just a lot. It's like the list. It's a large black dog, and if you see it, you die. Like, that's just a lot. Like, the list, it's a lot of black dogs. This feels like paranormal evidence. Is this, like, something this repeated

feels like there was something, there were black dogs. You know what I mean? Like, regardless of whether they were magical or whatever, like, it feels like whatever happened to manifest all these different legends in such a small area. You know what I mean? Like it's like a bunch of different stories with a bunch of different origins in a small area and they're all black dogs that look the same.

It makes me feel like there was something that they were talking about. So wait, whoa, whoa, we can't just like let that slide. I'm not. I was about to address it. Would you like me to address it or are you going to lose your mind? No, no, no, no, no, no, please go ahead. I'm so that I just want to say the transition was feels like there was something paranormal paranormal. And then I don't know if it was just there's black dogs in the area, but it feels like something I was like, what do you mean? I don't know what that means. Like paranormal, like paranormal means stuff

that's beyond the scope of scientific understanding, right? Like why would that, like I'm saying maybe there was some event that occurred back then that created a influx of black dogs in the countryside or something like that. I mean, I feel like it wasn't an influx of black dogs. It was like a story and that story got told again and again and again, and it was a multiple versions of the story. Right. So, um, a lot of people think it's both, um, that there were, you know, dogs like to be in packs, that there were like, like groups of dogs that were probably, you know, having, having pups with each other and we wound up with a bunch of black dogs, but also, um, it's, uh, potentially this gets thrown around a lot because it storms here so often

a lot of these stories revolve around churches and the wind hitting the sides of old churches and windows typically sounds like howling so they believe that sometimes people would look outside, hear howling, but not see anything or see shadows and be like, holy shit, there are fucking ghost dogs outside. Right. And once enough people say, like Jesse was saying, once enough people say that they've seen something like that, more and more people are like looking for that thing and wind up being more scared of dogs and talking about dogs that they see, you know. So yeah, it could be both, right? It could be that there were a lot of dogs

because, you know, it's not like now when we were neutering a bunch of dogs, that there were just a bunch of dogs and more and more people talking about like, oh, well, I heard that at the church, the modi-doo was there, you know. It's also interesting because if we look somewhere like Wales, there's, um, it's sort of evidence of like a legend that gets splintered because of this like hyper Christianity influence.

There's this story, uh, there's a myth of, uh, the hounds of Anwen. Sorry. Again, not sure if I'm pronouncing that right, but it's, it's about likeounds of Anwen, sorry again not sure if I'm pronouncing that right, but it's about like kind of spectral dogs right and Christians would read about or hear about these dogs and they wouldn't necessarily be like that's not real they would they would believe it but then popularize them as like hellhounds right and say well then they're owned by Satan and in context that literally doesn't make any sense

because to the Welsh and the Irish, this idea of the other world of like this pseudo afterlife, it's devoid of earthly punishment. Like that's not part of it, right? It's a world of happiness and youth. It's a paradise. It's like a parallel plane to the living world. It's not hell.

There isn't a hell at all, right? There's no Satan. So, you know, these dogs pop up when you look up hell hounds, but they're not technically associated with lost souls or hell or anything like that. So it's one of those situations where kind of like old Christianity, as we've seen many, many, many times with, you know, celebrations and with myths, took it, tried to figure out how it could fit in a biblical narrative, ended up really like skewing the intention there. And it did make

me wonder how much that has happened, you know? Dude, that is the one, like doing this show for so long, we don't do that many historical episodes where we go back back back but as you may imagine Christianity pops up a lot and like it's so crazy that like from the like sort of like secular perspective outside of being in the church or whatever that like Seemingly the biggest effect that they constantly have on stuff is being like oh That's a thing. Is it Christian? have on stuff is being like, Oh, that's a thing. Is it Christian? Then it's evil. That sucks. It's pretty much how it goes. How is that the Jesus religion? How is that the Jesus religion? I've always assumed like in this situation, if I was going to try to understand

why, why, you know, somebody would be like, oh yeah, we believe in these cool dogs. And they're like, you know, they're like spirit dogs and they're cool and they do cool stuff. But, you know, the intention probably, because for a lot of Christians, they want to convert people to Christianity, right? So the best way is to take what they believe now and make it sound scary. Just go full Mathis and be like, fuck dogs. Dogs are dogs are owned by Satan.

Don't you know that? They're filthy. Yeah. Same. I have a rough history. Condom Satan, condos man out of a good time. Honestly, you call me multiple times. Honestly, as a member of the human race, me too. I offered him my soul for power Rangers powers as a kid and I never got it.

Oh my gosh. That's bullshit, man. Yeah. Yeah. You suck. Satan. You should write a book about that. I call it the Bible. It might get confusing. There are a lot of books called the Bible. It might get confusing. There are a lot of books called the Bible, but I think it will do really well. No, not any good ones. No, I'm fine. Just self-publish on Amazon.

Go into some other places and the rest of this is honestly kind of limited. I tried to find if there was something similar that existed in African folklore. There is so, so much evidence that dogs are and have been beloved companions and protectors in East and North African families. They trust their dogs implicitly. Those guys, they are family. They will protect us, hands down. But in terms of like their depiction, death doesn't really seem to be associated with them. We still see them as like spiritual guides, but like in life, not in death,

which I think is a pretty, you know, firm distinction. I'm hype on the not burying them part that that seems to imply. Yes. Yeah. Not quite so much of that. Bearing them part that that seems to imply. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Not quite so much of that. And China and Japan have like evil demon dogs. I don't really feel like that's the same as a dog directly foreshadowing death or being employed in some way with the circumstances of death.

So I didn't really include that either. Originally, I wanted to kind of like I said, with my last Illuminati episode, I wanted to try to link all the stories together and be like, you know, how did we start? And, and maybe, you know, if I flat earth style, like squish stuff into the right order, we can say like, yeah, and then we got here, you know, very, very reliable. Yeah. So my, my original thought was,

okay, did the hellhound concept originate in Egypt? And we can get like kind of far thinking about that. There are tombs in Pylos with Egyptian iconography inside of them. Pylos is a former municipality of Greece. And I guess that was a really shocking find because it establishes some sort of trade or interaction as far back as 1500 BC.

So could ancient Greece have been influenced by Egypt's love of dogs and wound up associating them with the afterlife? Maybe. And, you know, we've got Mycenaean Greeks in like 1600 BC. Their culture and physical items are all over the place, including Ireland and Wessex. There could be something there. Greek was spoken in what was known as Britannica or Brittany. That's like early third century BC shit

could have informed this wave of like death dog lore in England eventually. This is your history, Dina. I hope you're taking notes. Yeah, and then there's a bunch of crossover with like, like we talked about with Scandinavian and Mesoamerican and Native American depictions and rights with dogs. There's evidence of Vikings in the Yucatan region of Mexico,

possibly as early back as 965 AD before Spain. Maybe that's why their beliefs are so similar. We got all the underworld guard dogs and they're really similar. And, you know, if we want to be fair to all of the cultures that don't like dogs, some of that can be attributed toward being enslaved by groups that used dogs and loved dogs historically as part of their tactics to subjugate, you know. So like, yeah, you can maybe tie a bunch of stuff together and you can definitely overall say

they informed one another. It's just hard to tell in what direction and when and things like that. And what wound up being more interesting to me is like we were saying, we've been around for so long dude like domesticated dogs. Yeah split off from modern wolves genetically 27,000 years ago Yeah, yeah, it's nuts I think I saw I was watching it was been documented or something a while ago where I think I don't know if it's a theory Or fact but they say that like they think dogs and humans like just kind of naturally started working

together like it was just like a beneficial symbiotic relationship when it came to hunting. Wasn't there like slowly became like a thing where they started sleeping and guarding us and like it was just like they had the benefits of hunting with both man and dog and they just kind of naturally wasn't there a movie about that called Alpha a couple years ago that was like about a movie that I don't know if that's what it's about, but you're absolutely right. There was a movie caveman like friends with the wolf with like the first wolf that ever made friends with a human. Yeah. I've never heard of it.

So I realized how long we've had dogs as companions. Literally the first animal that we sort of like shared a life with and that we can share a life with. The real story, Alex, I think is right. The real story is how on earth did we get cats to be like, I feel like the Egyptians had to be like, you're gods. You're straight up, just like, we worship you. And cats are like, okay, we'll give it a shot.

Cats are technically not domesticated cats. Literally just started using humanity as convenience because there was a lot of food that started showing up around like our shit, mice and stuff as we started agriculture. Cats are like free food. I watched some documentary about dogs and like the the interaction between human and dog. And they were saying that another factor was that the dogs are

like genetically unstable in a way like where like they started doing like a program of like breeding the dogs together and or like breeding, you know, like the way that we do with dogs is like livestock where we kind of like breed them into different breeds and create different traits even though they're all just. Yeah, sure. snoodle poodle! Yeah, sure. Yeah, we started just ruining the genes of the dogs. Apparently after like four generations there was like enough variation to like see where species would be going. Like as they were breeding these dogs, so like they're very genetically adaptable to like a lot of different human shit. So after the caveman situation where we were just kind of like, like I was saying, dudes in the corner with hoodies on, you're like,

what's up dogs? And they're like, so after that, after we got over that, you'd take dogs and you'd go, oh, I live in a mining town and my dog goes with me down into the mines and then slowly those dogs get like really tiny or whatever, like all kinds of shit like that. Like that is another reason why I think dogs are super crazy where cats like cats didn't have to change anything. Yep. No, seriously. They didn't, they were like convenience.

I mean, that's just little tigers. It isn't, it isn't that like the dogs got smaller is that smaller dogs were easier to bring. So you would keep bringing them and the town got filled with small dogs banging and the small dogs. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like it was not conscious. They weren't like, we need to make dogs for our jobs. It's just more like the dog was the life form that like, you're not going to get like big canaries from, you know, places where you need a big canary and stuff like that but dogs actually did kind of like I

remember there's a dog called like a spit dog or something in England somewhere that like used to in the industrial revolution like run on a fucking conveyor belt like a hamster to like turn the rotisserie and that was his entire existence called dogs yeah yeah like that's what I'm talking about that's why dog they're like You know what I mean? They just do whatever you need them to do. They're little guys, little golf ball boys. You get what I'm saying? Yeah. They're little golf ball boys. Exactly. Yeah. And I think it's kind of moving. Like after all this time, all this written and recorded history, like dogs just keep showing up. And sometimes they're like scary weird ghost dogs and for some cultures they're just like weird dirty gremlins but you know more often than

not they've they've just established themselves as these loving loyal companions that we need not only while we're alive apparently also maybe when we're dead if you're telling me I can meet my dogs when I'm dead again that would be so lit bro no for real but... All dogs go to heaven Alex but maybe not you. I've seen that one. I've also seen that one. I'm really curious about the sociological nature of dogs and that right now dogs are little cutie boys and we love them. But at the same time, you're still a little afraid of being out in the woods and a wolf

getting you. And you're still a little afraid of like how to, but at the same time then you have people who walk up to coyotes and are like, look, he's so cute. And then they get mauled. And at the same time, we all, we think dogs are like little baby boys. And then one just bites you for no reason. And you're like, why do you do that dog? And the dog is like, I don't know. You kind of look tasty.

And I, something clicked and I got, it's very interesting because for most history, we were scared the hell we were were scared out of those. The 27,000, whatever that number was, Dodger, is like actually not that long in the scope of human existence. So we're kind of hardwired from 4 million ish years in the very first us should be like, yo, that thing's trying to kill us. So it's super interesting. It is interesting. It is interesting.

There's something about it that feels like natural, almost like, you know, how like, if you live in harmony with your environment, it's possible to like have a civilization that lasts or like the nature around you will provide. I feel like maybe the big brain monkeys like were provided with like a secretary that can kill things, you know, like to help us.

And we paid them in food. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And shelter and fire and warmth and security. It's the same vibe as when people tell me like, dude, sharks are not the enemy.

They're not trying to hunt you. They're just living their lives. And if you don't mess with them, they don't. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything you're saying seems like a lie. Like what does a shark would say? Yeah. It seems like you're a pro shark agenda is trying to get through here.

It is weird that you would, you would think that in the society we live in where dogs are like little pupper boys and everyone's like, Oh, so cute. There's, I mean, I guess it's, I know it nevermind. I guess it's the same thing as humans and apes. You know what I mean? Like we're roughly, we're very close to the same thing. Just not. They're just look at us and they're like, I have such FOMO right now for you guys, it's crazy. I will rip your face off.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm the same as Alex though. Like the idea that my childhood dog is going to be there waiting to help me cross over when I die, that makes me emotional. Oh my God. That's what he was doing the whole time too.

You know, like that's what he was helping you get ready for. I can see why, like there was a lot of comfort in believing that because, you know, dying is scary. Maybe it's a little less scary if you've got a friend waiting for you over there, you know. Dogs are unconditional friends going back to the loyalty, right? And it's kind of weird, like, you know, in this world, like where somebody can tweet and suddenly never want to talk to them again. They're like, I believe I believe this simple thing thing is true and I will not budge on this.

Everybody's so fickle. We're all very tribes of belief and tribes of what we ought to be doing to each other and how to talk to each other. You're not allowed to talk to somebody unless you come correct and speak to me with respect in a way that I'm okay with, yada, yada, yada. I want to go fight people in my own country because I think the country's wrong, whatever. The dog, you come home, the dog just licks your face and he comes in your bed with you and he sleeps and he loves you just as much as he did yesterday and he doesn't care who you voted for and he doesn't care anything. There's something obvious about that. Of course I want that thing to come with me after my death.

I think the loyalty of a, I mean, like you said, they're people tribes and I think dogs, they're pack animals, right? And so them being part of your personal tribe, your family tribe is what makes them, their loyalty, always being there. Like you said, all those things that make dogs lovable and why you want one in your life is also why it, you know, it works in the wilderness, why dogs in the wilderness are like, yeah, we're in a pack.

And this is, this is my, same thing. Yeah. Fucking dog pack. Your house fucking dogs. No fucking. And it's also why you can have multiple dogs and multiple varieties. And suddenly they're like buds. Right. They just like sniff your their butts and they're like, we're good.

Yeah. And that's the same thing. And I think that it because it's so simple and like a core level, it isn't there isn't complicated. You're not your dog's not going to tweet once and you're going to be like, you know, this sucks. Like Alex said, the dog is just a dog. And he's like, yo, you smell pretty good today. I'm going to sit on your lap. Okay.

And you're like, yeah, okay. Thanks. That's it. It's that simple. But what do you think they dream about and do they have plans? Dogs? Yes. They've been waiting for the day that their alien mothership is going to

appear in the outer atmosphere and make contact with us. Have we not talked about this with Dodger? Why did we not bring this up today? What? What? Oh my God. You missed? Yeah, this was about six months ago.

Maybe even less. Maybe even less than that. Yeah, it might be less. Six months would be a longer shot. There was a date and a day and like a leak that like the dogs were going to like reveal themselves to be like alien like ambassadors. They've been watching us and taking care of us the entire time.

Yeah. And that they exist like almost like a Doctor Who. Like there's like dogs out there who want to take care of us. And there's like one for each of us and they're going to help us and they're going to ease us through this transition. Are there good dogs and bad dogs or all the dogs are good? All dogs are good. It was basically like they like they're like love us. I would just been like I would have been blown away

if my dog who can't stop eating cat shit, even if I like gate the area off, all of a sudden stood up. It was like, I'm just kidding. I don't actually love cat shit. I speak English. Yeah, as you've said many times before, we can never truly understand the motivations of aliens. Sure. They're not like us.

That's true. Fuck, you know what? Maybe cat shit is why they're here. Commentary on how the amount of intelligence you have isn't directly associated with, you know, the problem of addiction. And maybe your dog's addicted to the cat poop. The cat poop. He's very smart, but he's trapped in a cycle, you know? So all the aliens are just cat poop addicted aliens who come to Earth to get their fix.

Just all of them. Your dog and Tony Soprano have the same therapist. Oh my God. So I went and looked up really quick just why, like what about dogs? What about loyalty? I was like, there's got to be a scientific. Apparently this goes back to what George was talking about. When we bred dogs 27,000ish years ago, it wasn't for their hunting. Like all that stuff came natural. The thing I guess early man focused on was manipulating their loyalty to the pack. So they would be like, when you're a little puppy, your loyalty is what keeps you in the pack.

And so basically all dogs have the mentality of a wolf puppy. Interesting. Where they're like hyper loyal instead of being like a vicious killer. They're like little cutie pies. And that's why we're like, Oh, there's a really they're, they're bred to be super cute. And like, yeah, we stunted their brain, even the more aggressive dogs. It's it's like, that's bred in like, we want this dog to be aggressive, which triggers that sort of more animalistic urge. But really we,

that's what we did is we went in and we were like, let's make them eternal wolf puppies. Basically was wild. Cause every once in a while the little wolf in my, like my tiny ass little Pomeranian, uh, there was like a fricking raccoon that came in our backyard and she just didn't, without a second thought, beelined it for that thing and tackled it to the ground. I'm like, I had to run out there, kick the raccoon off of her

because that thing is double her size. And she's just like, I don't give a fuck, I'm fucking killing this thing, it's my territory, get the fuck out of here. And the raccoon ran up the tree and started crying after. I was just like, yeah, yeah, you're right. I guess you have a little wolf gene in you. You know, there's a, there's an article that I'm looking at right now where it's saying

that dogs, their loyalty is to a fault that basically we train dogs to the point where it'll bring food to us and die and starve to death rather than see a starved to death. That's how loyal a dog, I mean, I guess that's like why people love dogs so much. So we bred Stockholm syndrome. It's the same thing as that. That's what we did. They made a statue of it, but that poor dog in Japan that waited for its owner. Yeah. Hachi. Yeah. Oh my God. That's like the saddest story. I can't. I've seen that like, Oh God, that's the dog was there every day. Like that is, yeah. God. Well, anyway, thank you, Dr.

So much. Yeah, of course. Episode of the super fun one. Yeah, I just really wanted to do a thing about hell hounds. And I didn't expect to be honest. I worried that that happens. I worried that this was going to be another sort of like Eurocentric one. It was in a couple of ways, but the concept wound up being in a lot of different places. I thought that it was cool, like we were just saying.

I thought it was really cool that a lot of places where if, you know, if they have relationships with dogs, it's very, you know, it's very strong and we all tend to have the same sort of vibes when it comes to our dogs and having them as like members of the family and stuff like that. And it's interesting that that wound up being what informed having dogs be so associated with death is like almost a comfort kind of thing. I didn't expect that. They're like they're associated with human life. Yeah, of course. They're dead ubiquitous across like whatever alternate alternate alternate subject matter for next time. I put a little link down there for next time. So the hell a hellhounds. Got the heck horse.

A heck horse? A heck horse. Ooh, love it. Well, we know of the blue demon one out in Detroit. Yeah. So we'll be, next time you're on, it won't be three years. We won't be three years before you come back as a guest this time. Okay.

We won't be making you wait for so goddamn long this time. And I'll write you an episode so you don't have to do homework before you come on. No, I like doing it though. She approached me and she's like, can I do this? Okay. All right. All right. Man, I'm still thinking about, do you think the reason why there were like hellhounds and, and basquerel hounds and stuff is because dogs, you know, we're talking like 1800s writing and things like, like, do you think it's because dogs were loyal?

That it was similar to the Christmas episode we did. It's taking something that's so familiar and friendly and nice and being like, we're gonna write novels about how scary it is. Wouldn't it be fucked up if dogs weren't nice? You mean? Yeah. Wouldn't it be, isn't it the pinnacle of human horror

and the imagination that a dog would be evil? I agree, maybe. It comes to eat you and you're like, oh, it's just a pupper, but it's killing you. I don't know. If I didn't have a lot of money and I had a dog would be evil. I agree with you. Maybe. Eat you and you're like, oh, it's just a pupper, but it's killing you. I don't know. If I didn't have a lot of money and I had a dog and then the dog turned evil and attacked my children,

that'd be awful. Is that Cujo? Is that what Cujo, what happened in Cujo? No. No, I haven't read Cujo. Cujo is much worse. I don't know. Are you just wildly guessing?

Like a once sold pet, like an ad for Pet Sematary. What do you think that's about? Yeah, yeah, there's dogs in that, right? There's dogs in that. Yeah, there's dogs in that, right? There's dogs in that. Yeah, there's gotta be dogs. Kujo's the one that Stephen King was so blasted that he doesn't remember writing it, right?

Is that the one? That's so funny. I think so. Alex, I'm gonna give you the rare opportunity to take us out because you didn't get the Patreon pitch today. So why don't you take us out of here with the Patreon pitch? Okay, guys, here's what Patreon isn today. So why don't you take us out of here with the Patreon pitch. Okay, guys, here's what Patreon isn't.

Patreon isn't a giant man-eating dog that's trying to eat you outside of your car while you're parked in the driveway. Patreon is a dog that's gonna be with you for your whole life and is an icon and representation of life. And in this case specifically, that life is attached to the life of the Chiluminati pod.

And if you want to extend- When you die, Patreon will be waiting for you in the afterlife like, welcome. All your mini-sodes will be there. All that art from Mal will be waiting for you after you die. As long as you bury yourself with it, it can come right over the veil with you. That is guaranteed and

I can I can make that as a guarantee anything that you get on patreon will cross the veil with you and you know it's it's cool I'm not asking everybody to do it but if you can do it and you can help us keep the lights on so that everybody can listen to the show forever that's great that's punk rock that's what this is all about fuck the algorithm patreon.com slash super beer bros I mean I've paid for dot patreon.com slash chillin bros. I mean, I paper dot com plus star wars. We're kind of look up. I mean, we're going to end this now before you just show for everybody other than us.

Thank you guys so much. Goodbye. Bye. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the Jaluminati Podcast. As always, I'm one of your hosts, Mike Martin, joined by the... I don't know who they are, there's two! What?

Terrence Hill and Bud Spencer. No. Neo and Trinity. No. I don't understand and I probably never will. Let me just tell you right now that there's two. Leon Kennedy and Claire Redfield. I'm telling you, I think he literally just looked up

famous duos. Cheech and Chow. And has just been going through the list ever since I'm trying to dig deep Which one of you is uh... Dick Powell? Me? Your name's Jesse Cox!

Hahahaha! I want your lunatic I want your love and all of you I want my my baby I want your love and all of you I want my my baby I want your loveuminati I want your Illuminati I want youraluminati Podcast. As always I'm one of your hosts Mike Marhen joined by Alex and Jesse. Yeah, what did you guys think?

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