Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 251 - The Tall Whites with guest Arin Hanson
Episode Date: May 26, 2024This weeks guest Arin Hanson joins Alex and Jess as Mike takes them through the insane lore behind the Tall Whites and the man who met and vomitted at them all. MERCH - http://www.theyetee.com/collec...tions/chilluminati Special thanks to our sponsors this episode - All you lovely people at HTTP://PATREON.COM/CHILLUMINATIPOD HelloFresh Ghostbed Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - http://www.youtube.com/user/superbeardbros Editor - DeanCutty http://www.twitter.com/deancutty Art Commissioned by - http://www.mollyheadycarroll.com Theme - Matt Proft
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello everybody and welcome back to the Chiluminati Podcast episode 251.
As always I am one of your hosts Mike Martin.
Today joined by the Bubbles Blossom Buttercup of LA, Jesse Alex and very special guest Mr.
Aaron Hansen.
None other than one of the Game Grumps, one of the Grumps, one of the, uh, you've seen
Aaron fucking everywhere.
Voiceovers in plenty of cartoons, video games. If you know the name, Aaron Henson, you probably have
heard of him and seen him in many things. Thank you so much, Aaron, for joining us
and welcome to the show. Thanks, man. Which which Powerpuff girl am I? That's a
great question. Actually, we spend about four minutes at the top of each episode
talking about this because he always says we're someone different every week.
What is it? Bubble Cup Blossom Cup? Blossom, Bubble Cup, the Powerpuff Girls.
Come on. Bubble Cup is a great.
That's like a that's a fusion.
It's a I was going to say it's like a fucking
D.B.D.
Fusion of one of them.
If someone get that skin, we get an artist to
draw that on the subreddit.
Oh, somebody already has.
I feel like I'm bubbles.
You're definitely not.
I would say you're definitely not Buttercup.
But I don't know that. That's me.
Maybe it's just because I'm totally blue right now.
But that's just me.
Jesse's Buttercup. Then I'm Blossom Blossom. It's the red hair. Aaron Buttercup. How does't know that that's me. Maybe it's just because I'm totally blue right now, but that's just me. Jesse's Buttercup then
No, I'm Blossom. You're Blossom? It's the red hair. Aaron Buttercup. How does that feel with you?
How does that land on your shoulders? Aaron's Buttercup. Buttercup's the angry one. Yeah. Yeah the green one. All right. There you go
I'll take it man. She was always my favorite anyway. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, welcome to the show
Usually it'd be top of the show before we even dive into anything
Alex has a question that we like to level at all of our guests to kind of gauge some a bit of your
I'll leave it to Alex Alex. Why don't you take it away? Yeah, I don't know how familiar you are
with our show, but there's three of us. I don't want to say it's because of this. It's just happy
and happy accident. But we kind of have landed into the three roles of like the believer, the skeptic and the dude who smokes weed. So first of all, where do you land on paranormal government conspiracies,
aliens, all the different things that we do on the show? Where are you at in that zone?
First of all, I think as long as it doesn't get racist, it's just fun. We teach that lesson quite often, how quickly things like that can get racist very, very
fast.
That is a very, very good description of what it feels like to open up a book of 101 incredible
UFO stories.
It's, I had somebody in my life who was just going harder than I had ever heard before.
You know, I've read and watched videos of certain things
and read little articles and kept track of stuff.
And and I'm like, oh, that's neat.
This is neat over here and stuff.
And it's just kind of fun little hoo-ha.
And then this guy in my life was just going off about like,
bro, there's like space brothels and like, and I'm like, what?
And he's like, everything you see in sci-fi movies is true.
Like go watch this.
And I'm like, okay.
And I, and I watched the documentary he sent me
and I'm sure y'all have seen it.
I don't remember what it was called, but it was it like,
it started out like fun and then about an hour in,
then it started getting like, uh-oh.
And I had to turn it off.
Do you think it was directed by the guy whose uncle works at Nintendo? Possibly.
Yeah. I don't know. Well that's my that's my dad so my dad works at Nintendo.
There's only one guy that works at Nintendo and it's my dad. That description of
a documentary could be so many different documentaries I've seen that they just
got to a point like uh-, we've crossed a Rubicon here
That's what always happens in the lore episode. We're getting very racist very quickly so quickly
It's so fast. The deep lore though is it keeps
Getting more racist the deeper you go in to the point where one mask off. It's like, oh no
There's like multiple aliens one mask off, but they're all controlled by the tall whites. And you're like, wait, what?
And they're like, yeah, they look like Nordic people.
And you're like, what?
They're the cleanest of the aliens.
Yeah.
It's like, what?
Can't it just be funny, silly little guys
with the big eyes and they run around going,
blah, blah, blah, like, why can't it just be that?
You know?
Yeah. Just give me that.
Anyway, it's a wonderful world we live in.
So you said, as long as it's not racist, it's just fun. I love that. Anyway, it's a wonderful world we live in. So you said, as long as it's not racist, it's just fun.
I love that.
Do you have, despite your chill attitude towards this type of stuff, do you have any personal
stories or that time your grandma saw or whatever or anything that floats around when everybody's
a little tipsy at Thanksgiving or whatever? Yeah, I do
I have one thing that happened to me. I've wanted to see a UFO my whole life and I've never seen one and I
Saw and I just literally screaming in the yard naked for them to come and they've never shown up
Seriously, and you know, I've heard the story like I was sort of knew someone tangentially who could like summon them
You know, there was like it's like oh look, there's a new dot in the sky. That's crazy
But I never saw him do it. Anyway, my story involves
I lived in Palmdale for a brief period of my life, which is like, you know over an hour north of LA
Kind of out in the middle of nowhere. Oh, I know it well.
Yeah, it's not a great place,
but it's close to an Air Force base.
Shout out to Palmdale.
Yeah.
And I was driving home one night,
it was like 2 a.m. from LA,
and I got trapped behind like this convoy,
and it was like a military convoy and police,
and they were escorting a flatbed truck
that had like, just the most stereotypical
like saucer with a dome on the top,
uncovered and they were just blasting through lights.
And this was in a time where the phone I had was a sidekick.
And I tried to take a picture.
It's a very specific era. Yeah, and it was just there was it was not happening
I was I was like snapping picture after picture and it was just like complete and total darkness. I was like this sucks
I oh my god at a time where that kind of instant information sharing wasn't is still budding is still growing
yeah, exactly and so I
throughout the years kind of looking back up on stuff and finally this like
So I, throughout the years, kind of looking back up on stuff, and finally this declassified drone ship came up
that kind of looked like what I saw.
And I was like, okay, I think this might be it.
And they were just testing it
and bringing it back or something.
But from the angle I was looking at it,
it's like I can't make it up.
Just straight up Looney Tunes ass.
Witness the flying saucer.
Just with the poop on the alien inside on the top
and then dude, it was crazy. Um, I love that on the glass. Need to take over earth. That
was fun. That was my only experience. I never saw anything in the air. Nothing like that.
More than I ever got, man. I mean, props to you for immediately being like, I wonder what
that was factually. Let's Google it. Yeah, because yeah, it's obviously most of this
stuff is that, you know, um, I'm sure, you know, that guy, most of this stuff is that.
I'm sure you know that guy, I wish I knew his name,
who just immediately debunks everything
with fucking flight paths and stuff.
There's a lot of people like that,
but yeah, those people are needed though.
Because if we're gonna figure out
what's actually anomalous, we need to be able to strike out
what we know is our tech or something,
and like a satellite or whatever.
My feeling is, if you're ride or die, if you're like,
aliens are fucking real and people need to know the truth and all that shit.
If you're like truly like Fox mold or ass dude,
you should be like the biggest proponent of like debunking.
Yeah. Like figure that out for real. Like let's get definitive answers.
Stop giving me a hard time internet. When I say it's not real. And you're like, just, real like let's get definitive answer. Yeah, stop giving me a hard time Internet when I say it's not real and you're like just just
Ruined the show. It's good
Cuz if you weren't here there's been one episode where it was new were not here and we had Santel in place and
Shit went off the rails first. Oh, it was crazy was it?
That was a threat for me to the audience about what happens when Jesse's gone
But what about like ghosts or anything like that?
You ever seen anything like that?
Or like a weird thing in the woods or anything like that?
Nah, really.
I've had a few, oh man, there was one recently
that was like, that was fucked up.
Um.
It was like a, it was just like a,
oh man, what the fuck was it?
God, it's like...
I saw my dead grandma.
Something just like a door hinge, which is just like...
And I was like, oh man, that's wild that that just happened.
I have no earthly explanation for that.
Yeah.
It was something like that in a hotel room or some shit.
Bro, that happened, Alex in a hotel room on our last fucking show that we did.
Yeah, that was about a year ago almost.
Wow, that was that long ago.
God damn.
I don't know what any of that stuff is, like where something like a doorknob shakes or
anything like that, but it's really like, I feel like as far as like what paranormal
experiences are that people describe a lot, like a lot of them are easily explainable as like
something that you didn't see right or something that you didn't understand or something like that.
Yeah.
But the ones that are like parrot, like, like, uh, what do you call them? Poltergeist tee.
Those ones are real. They feel weird. They feel real to me.
Well, we're stuck where stuff just gets like with.
Like you're in your kitchen and then like a fucking pantry door like opens you're like oh yeah like I don't know that feels real
tight I do know you know I remember well first of all I just want to be clear
before I tell this story that I even though that is my mindset on this stuff
I am by no means not a total wuss about it like I oh yeah I fuck it like if me
neither if I'm Like if somebody's like
this room's haunted I'm like okay I hate this room now. Yeah let's avoid that one.
I'm never going in here it's terrifying. I run toward it for my own problems.
Like where? Where is the ghost? Show me the ghost. Oh yeah I'm like the complete
opposite. But there was... So we... I'm in a band and we went to record at a studio called Sonic Ranch.
And Sonic Ranch is like a live in studio near El Paso in a town called Torneo.
And it's like right on the border.
So there's like a non zero amount of like cartel activity that happens around there.
Yeah.
But there's a room in that studio that's been dubbed the Blue Room, because everything's
blue in it, that as far as I know, I don't think this is fabricated, but like one of
the family members who owns that farm that it's on was killed by the cartel in that room.
Oh, shit.
And it's the most haunted room in that fucking house.
And the stories I've heard of that place are like,
literally people walking in on somebody sleeping in bed and
the bed's floating off the ground and from my own bandmates too.
There was one guy who was producing on our album,
who was like, I walked into my room,
I have the same routine every day,
I come in, I lock the door,
I throw all my clothes off and I pass out on the bed.
And then I wake up and I do the whole routine.
And when I woke up that morning,
my shoes were like laces tied,
like right at the door facing forward.
And like, I locked the door.
It's not like anybody came in and like clean the room or anything.
So that's the type that's so messed up.
Yeah. I've heard a lot of stories, but I've never had a personal experience.
I will say when I walked into the blue room, I was like, no, thank you.
Not staying in this room.
Fuck that.
Like, do you ever feel the vibes?
Yes.
I I'm, I'm huge on like energy, whether or not it's true.
You know, I just, I feel a certain way about a thing
and I'm like, okay, that's the energy
that this thing's given me.
And the blue room sucks.
I hate it.
Every time I walk into it, I'm like,
nope, don't wanna be in here.
Don't like this.
It's like the Palmdale of the rooms.
Yeah, exactly.
Was that before or after you were told that it was a bad
Okay, so that's an interesting question and it was before you
Okay. Yes
We were we were being because you get a choice of like what rooms you want to stay in and the blue room is one
of the nicer rooms
So we were walking through those the rooms and looking at him like oh cool cool
And then we walked in the blue room and I was like, ooh
I don't like this room and then they were like funny story about and looking at them like, oh cool, cool, and then we walked in the blue room and I was like, oh, I don't like this room.
Then they were like, funny story about that.
I was like, oh, okay, interesting.
So yes, I did get that feeling before.
But again, my skeptic brain is like,
I've heard stories about the frequency
that fear gets created at or whatever.
It's like there's certain rooms that orchestrate
the bouncing around of that frequency or whatever, where I'm like, there's certain rooms that like orchestrate the bouncing around of that frequency or whatever.
Where I'm like, okay, maybe there's something to that. But you know, I, I don't believe that there is a ghost of a murdered man in there. At the same time. It's fun.
I always think it wouldn't be like that ghost never to be able to leave that one room always there angry, never able to murder again. But like, is it, you know, if we're going to get on the ghost train, like, is it a
ghost? Could it just be energy? Could it like there's, that's why it opens up too
much. I'm curious if they painted it a different case, it was no longer blue or
they moved out the furniture and put a new for like haunted houses, refurbish
that thing. Let's see what happens. Right? Like who knows what will go on.
He has talked about his family's clown room that feels haunted, but is not haunted.
No, no, no. That and my parents' old house in Kentucky, there was this house was built
next to a civil war battleground and near what was an Indian burial ground that was
removed and then made into a cemetery. If there was ever going to be a haunted location,
that's it. It would have been there. And one of their bedrooms had this creepy yellow wallpaper moved and then made into a cemetery. If there was ever going to be a haunted location, it
would have been there. And one of their bedrooms had this creepy yellow wallpaper with paintings
that looked like they were from the 1800s. And it had a vibe. And I was like, if I was
ever going to be haunted, this is the place and nothing ever. So that's where I'm at.
Or I'm like, it should have been the spot. Yeah. The signs were there, but I got nothing.
Yeah. There's, there's a lot of spaces that I've been into where it's like like an old Victorian house
You know from the 1800s or whatever and it's like so many people have lived here
So many people have died here and I'll I'll spend a lot of time in those houses and just be like I didn't feel a goddamn
Thing it was fucking quiet. It was like just a pleasant experience
And there was nothing where I was like, what was that? Like it just it was great
It's fine. Yeah, this is how B
I think I think I think the creepy vibes is like just like really aged mature
Like fine like wine like like liminal spaces that have like stood the test of time
I think is like what haunted houses are I think they're just like off spots that people like go like, oh, and then it just reverberates. That's how I feel. What's
called the new sphere? That's where it is. The new sphere is this is this like new age
ghost stuff. New sphere is like, it's not new age ghost stuff. It's like new age, pseudoscience
regular stuff. We were talking about it on the, and
I don't know if it's pseudoscience, like I'm not, I'm not going to roast it. I think,
I think there's something a little bit real about it, but it's the idea of a little bit
real pseudoscience, real stuff, like pseudo real, real adjacent. I look, if you have,
if you're interested in the news here, check us out at patreon.com slash children. I look if you have if you're interested in the news here check us out at patreon.com
slash July. No, the new sphere is like a instinctual like energy field that we can like that we
can access as living things and maybe there's like a human one, for example, and it genetically stores,
or like in a radio space or somewhere,
some sort of idea of a sum of all of our species knowledge
is somewhere, and you can access it somehow.
And it plays into some UFO theories,
it plays into some ghost theories,
it plays into some actual science,
and the guy who made it is not a wizard or anything.
He's like a regular guy, I think.
I think, I hope he didn't like do malpractice.
Wait, wait, made it?
Wait, so it didn't exist before and then some guy made it?
It's a theory, thank you.
No, it's a theory, it's a theory.
Thank you.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, all right, we're getting there.
We're gonna get there.
Oh my God, we got a show to do.
I'm going into this.
No, we're doing a Cuckoo Bird Newsphere episode. No we're not. We're getting there. We're going to get there. Oh my God. We got a show to do. I'm going into this. No, we're doing a, we're doing a, we're doing a cuckoo bird news.
Fear episode right at the beginning. Do you know the work I put in these goddamn episodes? We're doing the episode. Alex, the new sphere is nonsense. Sounds like
nonsense, but it's fun nonsense in a fun way because it's one of those things where it's like the force postulate. There was a way that we were all connected and we could like reach back into the past. We can connect with sounds like somebody's first mushroom trip.
Verdonsky put it forth and made it popular.
He's like a it's more philosophical, but it's like it's like a theory that there may be something that we can access it as living things that contains the knowledge of what our species has learned instinctually.
Why not just like write a novel like why why make why make it a conspiracy theory? Like that's,
I think, I think he was, I think he was being honest on the ice walls of earth.
No, you do not. You don't need to introduce anyone to that.
You've already done too much damage to general knowledge by doing two episodes.
I have not done any of that. And I am not at all about to do that today.
I think that's the inherent problem is done too much damage.
Everything we talked about in this show, everything, even the stuff we're going to talk about today
is somewhere there's someone that had a good concept for something and rather than like,
I don't know, add to collective knowledge of mankind. They were like, I'm going to make my
fanfic version where the aliens took me to space. And it's like, all right, well, you've set us all back tremendously, but thank you.
That's, that's the vibe of most of what we cover is some dudes like she was
beautiful, the alien, she became my bride.
I put a wig on her though.
And it's like, why, why do we need this?
We didn't need this.
I'm just sitting there asking why not me?
Yeah.
You know, those aliens with the big eyes,
the gray round heads, bald heads?
Imagine one with tits.
Ooh, there we go.
I got you.
I can help you with that actually.
Ooh, hello.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a good play to camera joke for a podcast, man.
He does it a lot, it's the same joke.
Yeah, no one can see this right now, but it's fine.
That's the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life.
I can't believe that. So hot. Immediately bricked up, I'm good to go. But it's fine the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life
Immediately bricked up. I'm good to go. I there's a book there's a sci-fi book on my reading list and it's sometimes I'll go to like
like vintage bookstores and I'll just like pick up some all the time some like one dollar book or something that looks like shit and
There's this one that I picked up that I got to read and I read. And I might bump it up because of this.
It's called Ta.
It is sort of known.
Yeah, it sounds familiar.
But the idea is that it's like an alien planet
and the plants are hot.
And.
Oh yeah.
So the cover is like a dandelion with huge titties.
Yes!
Oh, yes!
Fuck!
I gotta introduce you to the man who paints his alien encounters, and it's like gray aliens
with titties who fuck him.
It's phenomenal.
It's not, no, it's not phenomenal.
No, no, no, no.
It's phenomenal.
It's funny.
No, no, you're just living life at that point, man.
Yeah, exactly, brother.
See, I'm with you.
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All right, we're going to talk about the fucking episode today, gentlemen.
And speaking of talking about tall whites, but not racist versions,
today's episode is all about the tall whites.
Is that what they're called?
Is that what people call literally called the tall white tall?
All right. OK, they're the they're like the best aliens.
They're like the ones from like the 70s, the tall whites that I've taught you about.
These are different tall whites.
Like I said, non racist, tall white.
I'm pretty sure by the end of this, this is going to be racist.
I'm letting you know. I'm pretty sure they don't just look like ABBA.
I promise you. No. All right.
It's about the story about the tall whites and possibly the most boring man
to ever have walked the face of this earth.
A man by the name of James Charles Hall, who was the one
and only person to ever directly talk to and encounter these tall white beings.
Up top, I'm just going to go say my, you know, reference my two main sources for today's
episode, one of the most boring documentaries in the world called Walking with the Tall
Whites, followed by one of his six books
millennial hospitality because after the first book shit just gets
impossibly weird to follow so don't worry about it, you know millennial hospitality and
Walking with the tall whites this dude needs to this dude needs to figure out his titles
Can I be pedantic for a second, please? Please? His name is Charles James Hall. Oh
My god, you said you said James Charles, which which I
Which I googled and
It immediately like filled in the blank and made me search for James Charles Halloween costume
James Charles who the hell is that?
Oh my God.
James Charles Halloween. Oh no.
Sorry, Charles James Hall.
My brain absolutely flipped those two.
It sounds better the other way around, like phonetically,
but this is probably why my brain did.
Anyway, he is arguably the most boring man
that I've ever read about.
The book he wrote is written in the most dry, painful way.
And he, even the way he sounds,
the documentary was only an hour and 20 minutes.
And I hope you can hear this.
I'm about to press a button.
Hopefully it works.
Mathis, do you hate this guy?
No, but I wish he had gotten somebody to like help ghost, right?
You just had a rough, you just had a rough week reading on Amazon.
I went to go see when walking with the tall whites came out.
Cause in my mind, the way we talk about people on this show, they're usually,
they made a documentary in 1974.
This came out in 2020.
And what's even crazier about this is the image that shows on
walking with the tall whites. You'd think that the cover of this movie would be an alien face or some
sort of like UFO. It's straight up is a man's face, one fighter jet, and then walking with the tall
whites. I don't know what most people think of when
they see this, but I don't think it's aliens. Oh yeah. Yeah. You're right. Yeah. Little,
little like a phantasms there. Yeah. Maybe they're like little, maybe they're like living
lines of cocaine, but they're so small. You would not notice them. And again, big bold
letters walking with the tall whites. And then it's a fighter jet. This image that's
showing up on Google image search that it's like a couple times. I think it's like a like a woman, tall white and
it's like a green eyes and it's a kind of stretched looking. It's there's something like weirdly
erotic about it. I don't know. There's a lot of that out there, man. That's pretty much it. This
is exactly what I'm talking about. This is like the pre-green alien vibe of aliens from like the 70s where everything just kind
of looks like a Jared Haas movie.
You know what I'm talking about?
You know how deviant art kind of has a look, even though it's a bunch of different artists?
Yes.
And it's like, that's kind of how it is with alien art too.
I don't know why it all kind of looks the same.
Like how menu art for some reason reason every diner has the same artists
Somehow yeah same thing. I don't know there's something about alien art. It is a little erotic
So I'll send this link to the Dean so we can slide it into the episode
Oh, but only you need to listen to a fear the first like few seconds
I link you to understand the sound of this man's voice and how it's so hard not to just fall the fuck asleep
listening to him talk.
I press play. Hold on, I gotta switch accounts.
Tell people to know. Yeah, I gotta hide this. And the shrapnel killed him. He dropped instantly.
And although I was in the tower above him, it had wooden sides and stuff, and a wooden floor, and it stopped the shrapnel.
So it didn't blow off any wind.
There's no concussion with the mortar shell, and none of the glass or anything was harmed.
Oh, is this the guy right here?
Yes, that is the man.
This is the man that the tall whites interacted with.
And so as I looked there, it looked like he was play acting.
It looked like he was an actor and he wasn't very good.
Okay.
He sounds like how my grandmother used to speak, like Jimmy Carter.
It looked like he just crumpled.
I thought he was play acting.
They kidnapped these guys because they like, they target them because they know nobody's
going to believe this fucking guy.
Exactly.
It's just, it's just took me away. Exactly. It's just, it's took me away.
Exactly.
See, you're on the right wavelength here.
So that's a picture of him.
And basically, at the very beginning of the book,
there's a forward by his wife that basically she just
is so mean to him.
Because she basically explains in the forward that,
and I'll just read this for a little bit, a small quote.
Over the last 18 years from time to time,
when I enter my room where my husband sat at the computer, I noticed that he would quickly shut the screen that
he was working on. When I asked him what he was doing, sometimes he would answer nothing
or just relaxing.
Oh my god, just relaxing.
Other times he would say that he was working on a book. In May of 2002, he became unemployed.
After he was doing all of it, after he was a month in unemployment. This scenario repeated itself. He said he was
working on a book, his book. And I said, quote, Well, you know,
if you die tomorrow, there's no way I'm going to go hunting
through that many files. So you have to look for whatever book
you're writing. I suggest you print some of that out right now.
I'd like to see it. That's what she said to her husband. And he
said, which book did you want to see? And she said, What do you
mean, which book? How many books do you have?
And he said a couple three. So naturally when, uh, she,
she says when I saw some of the chapters,
I was determined that we publish it.
I felt it was excellent material and it should be picked up by one of the major
houses, but I knew that it would take time since major houses,
but I knew that it was good shit she goes I knew it would take time and
since no my face since no income was coming into our house we decided to
self-publish the manuscript away then yeah no way it's just easier the
manuscript needed anything badly partially because he had started the
books on old Tandy 2000 and there were technical difficulties to in retrieving
them but the other major problem I had with the book was the macho language that he needed
to use.
My dog, stop dude.
Is this written by Mod Flanders?
Literally the forward of the book.
My daughter and I were up to the task of editing the material and Charles was much in agreement
when we told him that the story was so good.
The swear words added nothing.
And furthermore, deleting them would make them a book appropriate for me. We were robbed. Society was robbed. The voiceover this like
these fucking aliens that came out of their goddamn ship. And there they were fucking
around tall white giant. That was amazing. Reminiscent about the death of my friend.
All right. We're looking Clintons in the room.
The last bit she goes as well, Charles worked hard implementing all of our corrections,
but then inadvertently used older and unedited files to compile the CD to send to the publisher.
I will leave out some of the drama that followed.
It slowed things down considerably.
And because we were so anxious to start marketing our books, I had ordered 500 copies of Millennial
Hospitality before I saw one bound copy.
We decided to re-edit immediately and Charles sat for days and hand edited some of the worst
mistakes from the 500 copies we already had in our house.
If you have one of those copies, they have already become collector's items.
That was then and this is
today. The day it is that you are beginning to read millennial hospitality.
The day that it is today that you are.
Is there like a, is there a pretext here of like, oh, this is like an epic tale that like
is it was in the making? Cause it's, it feels like self reporting here where it's like,
so just so you know, this is the ramblings of a crazy man. I just want to make that clear upfront. All right. Read the book now. It's
his wife. This guy's a piece of shit. He's crazy and he couldn't get this shit published
on his own. Also the language is fucked up. Have a good time. He wouldn't get a fucking
job. All he was doing was working on his Tandy 2000. Honestly, I'm just surprised. James
Charles has a wife. So she ends up by saying, we both hope you will enjoy reading.
And if you've not already read Millennial Hospitality 2,
The World We Knew, and Millennial Hospitality 3, The Road Home,
we know that you will want to read them as well.
There are six books.
Millennial Hospitality could not be a worse title for a book to have
than a number and a subtitle.
It's called Millennial Hospitality.
Yes it is.
And it's six books.
Sounds like a textbook.
That's just staying over at my house, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mine too.
That's like Tostitos and Ranch.
That's it.
That's what it is.
Yeah, so there's six books all told,
over 1,400 pages of text.
No, I did not read all six books.
I read just the fucking first one.
So if you want more, just know, there's a whole world out there after this.
And this man is a, like I said, other than being boring,
it's his boringness that makes him uniquely qualified to be the individual that
this all happened to.
He looks like if JR Tolkien was the snowman from the beginning of Rudolph,
the red nose reindeer. What? What?
It's been bugging me this whole time. I was trying,
I was trying to figure out what, who he looks like. And it's that
again, I can't tell if he's trying to be subversive in his work,
because if you look up millennial hospitality,
the book cover is the painted version of him next to what I assume is a cactus.
And I wouldn't, I couldn't tell you what this is about.
Don't worry.
I had a hard time trying to piece it together too.
But millennial hospitality one and millennial hospitality five and millennial hospitality
three all seem to have really similar book.
Well, what you're not getting is the subtext.
There's a whole lot of negative space above him.
Right.
Which is to imply that there's something out there.
Yes.
Oh, damn.
Slightly different.
Microsoft WordArt for each title,
different stretch, flat.
Let's dive into this man's life,
his experiences with the Tall Whites,
what they're all about,
and what he was actually doing with them.
And we'll, as always, just start with a very quick profile of who this man was.
Who Charles James Hall, I'll just be referring to as Charles from now on, was born in rural
Wisconsin and was a curious and adventurous child.
He was always eager to explore the world around him.
He was very just kind of inquisitive.
He grew up in a loving family, surrounded by a lot of nature.
His father was a World War II veteran instilling in him a kind of a strong
sense of duty and honor to the country.
His mother was a devout Christian and taught him the values of compassion and
empathy.
And these early influences would later guide him through the challenges and
wonders that he would face both in real life as he would join the air force.
And as he took on this tall white, uh, years long event,
as a teenager, Charles developed kind of a keen interest in science, particularly astronomy.
He spent countless nights gazing at stars, fascinated by the vastness and mystery of
the universe, and read a bunch of books about just space exploration, dreamed of becoming
an astronaut, and really just wanted to discover the secrets of the universe.
For some reason, I thought I saw a hand raised, but I think it was just the delay in my camera. I was reason I thought I saw a hand raise,
but I think it was just the delay in my camera.
I was like, who's raising their hand?
After graduating from high school,
Charles enlisted in the US Air Force,
and he hoped to serve his country
and maybe get a chance to fly out into space,
but his dreams were dashed when he was assigned
to Nellis Air Force Base as a weather observer.
Disappointed but determined, Charles embraced his duty
and performed his tasks with diligence and dedication.
His life at Nellis was routine, uneventful, it's not that it wasn't without its challenges.
It was a harsh desert environment for one.
There's a lot of isolation, constant threat of danger just from military exercises to
test his resiliency and adaptability in the moment.
But Charles seemed to take it with stride and learn to survive and thrive in
this kind of unforgiving new environment of his Charles
Hall's time at Nellis Air Force Base was not entirely
uneventful before his encounter with the tall whites. In fact,
there were a couple incidents that kind of I wouldn't say
foreshadowed his extraordinary experiences, but kind of are
interesting in that they kind of
frame Charles as a hero, something that we're going to see throughout the rest of the story, where Charles always seems to be the guy that they just needed in the right moment,
and he was there and he could help. The two incidents at Nell's Air Force Base that are
mentioned within the first book, the first one being involving six aircraft
that were stuck out in the desert,
circling an area for 30 minutes, running out of fuel.
And one evening, Charles received a call
from the control tower, informing him of these six aircraft
that were trying to return to base,
but were unable to land due to a sudden dust storm.
Visibility was near zero,
and the pilots were running low on fuel.
And so Charles, with his
knowledge of weather patterns and his quick thinking, devised a plan to guide the aircraft
safely to the ground. He used his weather instruments to track the storm's movement and
relayed the information to the pilots. He then directed them to a specific location where the
dust was less dense and enabled them to land safely. Basically, Charles knew the wind real good
and that was what they needed to have him land these planes
Don't shake your hands any of this
corroborated
Or is this all from his book? What more do you need than the what a great of a honest question that we will never get
An answer to that. Yes. He was part of the Air Force and he was in the Vietnam War this particular incident
You know, why would he lie like like is there anybody in his life other than his wife? Who's like, you know, why would he lie? Like, like, is there anybody in his life other than his wife who's like, you know
what? This guy's trustworthy. I, I believe him. Like, is there anybody?
I mean, they not, not into the,
to the degree where they're willing to say the events that follow might be.
Holy truthful.
Is there anyone who is not financially invested in his success? What does that
mean? I need you all to just open up your third eye, my bro.
Open up your third eye and just put on your believing pants
for today, Jesse, just for me, please.
Because that's, I mean, that's the stuff that is exciting
to hear when somebody's like, it's like,
this guy's so awesome and like he's always been,
and then this happened and whoa, you know,
so like, I don't know, I don't believe in aliens,
but like I like him, you know, that's the stuff where I'm like, he's always been, and then this happened and whoa, you know, so like, I don't know. I don't believe in aliens, but like, I like him, you know, that's the stuff where I'm like,
oh, that's interesting. But this this all seems like fan fit, like, like Mary Sue fan
fiction. Yeah, which is most of it. That's most of it.
Even even the stuff that we've covered, that's like the most believable has corroborating
witnesses. You know, I think of what would you say is the most believable
story that we've covered on the show about aliens?
Yes, about aliens.
I was going to say JFK's assassination.
Very believable.
Yes.
Excellent.
Because of the aliens.
I don't know.
Betty and Barney Hill is probably the most famous for sure.
I don't know if it's because the like everything about it. Everything from the way they
describe the aliens to the way that people talk about them as
a couple to the way that they react. Like the whole thing has
a vibe to it. That's like out of all the stories. It's the
most believable. Do I accept it completely? Not really, but
it's the best one by far even even like today. Initially,
the plan is to Travis Walton We're gonna do that next week
But even his story all the people that were involved some of them later came out and said the whole thing was a hoax
So like even those types of stories are filled with
Reasons to kind of like put to the side Betty and Barney Hill is one of the one of the more
tighter cases
I like the one where the the guys pants get ripped by the alien that rips his pants off.
Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like there's like ripped off.
It's like tire tracks and shit. And he's like it like ripped my pants off and it like hit me with a flamethrower for like one second.
And then it like and then I passed out. Yeah.
What a Thursday. Yes.
Yes. Charles was stationed at Nellis Air Force Base as well.
Like he was there at the times.
He's saying he was there doing the job he supposedly was supposed to be doing there.
But because everything's so secretive and whatnot, you can't corroborate
if any of the alien stuff that happened actually happened to him.
But he's not lying about where he was,
the rank he was, and being part of the military
and all that, that was real.
I always wonder how they justify being the only one
telling about it.
What I think is gonna be interesting is that all the ones
that we've covered that are insane, like Project Serpo,
like last week's, this is the one where I'm like,
if he's making it up, he could've done such a better job.
Like there's, it's not, it's not like, it's kind of almost sad.
Like the story's kind of almost like, I pity the man.
You can't use someone's inability to tell a good story to be like,
it could be true because he was so bad at telling it.
I can't, but I just did. And we're just going to, you know,
the biggest problem with this is for some reason,
we also give a lot of credibility to this dude was in the military and already
he's above everyone else.
And I'm like, that doesn't mean that doesn't mean that the story's true.
That would be like he was a teacher for 25 years, right?
Never any problems.
And he saw an alien.
So he's credible.
Like you can say that for anything.
What's more, I'd say valuable.
If you want to put value on this, uh, of this is like a lot of what we know of the various
quote unquote alien races and the lore all are rooted
somewhere and like this is this this version of the tall whites is the first time these kinds of
like versions show up and you're going to see the similarities between a little bit of similarities
to the nordics but also the tall whites that are look like grays but like command the grays that
we kind of briefly touched on years ago is this hold? Is this why it's so when we went through Aaron,
we did like a whole video episode or whatever thing one time where it's like every single alien race that exists that we know of.
Yeah. And at some point there's rehashes. It's like, okay, so there's a tall whites.
They look like like like angels like Nordic.
But then there's also the tall whites and they look like a little different. And there's so many different versions.
So this is where these other tall whites come from.
This is the origin.
Okay.
The last racist tall whites.
There's like the Hitler tall whites.
And then there's the alien ish tall whites.
We're talking about these tall whites control the grays.
Well, that part.
That's one of the theories of people who say they've been abducted have
seen them with the gray.
So there's some theories.
This is like, no, no, no, the tall whites control the grays.
Yeah, no, of course.
Obviously you're following right now.
It's all true.
What if it's all like every single one's real imagine and they're just they're just
chuckling at us from afar.
Oh, the reptilians in the tall whites just sharing a piece of like blueberry pie.
Human, human jerky.
Human jerky.
That they got on the way to alien Vegas.
That's right, dude, dude, hold on to the Vegas thought.
Just hold on to the Vegas thought.
What do you mean? What does that mean?
No, just hang on to that thought.
Oh my God.
Hold on to that thought.
I'm telling you, the story's great.
So yeah, he, first one involving like landing
these aircraft.
His knowledge of the wind essentially helped him land the other ones.
Then there was a second incident that happened while he was there,
which was a little bit more personal and somewhat embarrassing.
Charles was invited to a social gathering at the officer's club one evening
where he found himself in the pleasant company of his superiors and their spouses.
And he was feeling a little awkward, anxious, out of place,
uncomfortable as he tried to just kind of blend into the background.
But his awkwardness did not go unnoticed,
and one of the wives of the superiors,
a woman known for outgoing personality
and love of dancing, approached Charles
and asked him to dance.
And despite his initial reluctance,
Charles eventually agreed,
and they took to the dance floor.
To his surprise, he found himself enjoying dancing,
and he and his partner twirled and swayed to the music.
They were laughing, having such a good time.
This unexpected kind of turn of events
boosted his confidence and helped him feel more at ease
in the social situations.
But what he didn't realize is that the officer
was a jealous husband and didn't want anyone dancing
with his wife, but he wasn't anywhere nearby.
And that's why she approached him and decided to dance.
Don't shake your head like that in disbelief, Jesse.
This is very real.
You've seen the man.
He's handsome.
No, if anything, this is the one thing I believe.
A jealous husband?
Oh yeah, no, that sounds right.
The next morning, he got a call to come into the office and speak with the officers, who's
husband, or who's the husband of the wife.
And he fully expected he'd have to get his ass completely reamed out.
He was about to get punished and yelled at. But instead of, uh, instead of him getting yelled at, he expressed gratitude
towards Charles and he explained that his wife had been feeling lonely lately and isolated
due to his frequent absences because of work. And he thanked Charles for being kind to her
and for bringing a moment of joy into her life through their dance last night. And she
was very happy when she got home.
Are we talking about Archie right now? What is happening? This is the, those are
the, these are the two incidents he puts in his book as the weird incidents that happened
before the tall whites came into play. So just to let you know, the kind of life this
man has more to this. That's it. No, those are the, is he, is he telling a story about
how he cooked his, I think, I think that's what's happening. Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fucker next time.
Yeah.
It was like, thank you so much for cucking me last night.
I just, she needed it.
I needed it.
It, I don't, but what does that have to do?
What's the A to B to C tall white?
Listen, I can't tell you what the A B to C is there, but he made me learn that.
You just included the story.
He put that in the book for me to learn.
Now you have learned it and your brains forgot something useful So that you could remember what I just told is this supposed to be like
This is how we learn to ingratiate himself with people and how he well again
He's like once I learned from from this family
I felt like I could bang anyone say the first story of his like
Knowledge of weather patterns is what got him the gig in that area in the first place. The second thing was I guess
He's just a really approachable guy that anybody is willing to approach. So it's really anyone aliens,
but you literally say it like that. But you, I mean, you're correct in that tone. Like
even, I'm aware. Oh no, I wasn't joking. This is what I assume is the plot. Yeah. Okay.
All through his time in the military though, in his free time, he still pers like pursuit
his passions that he enjoyed as a kid reading scientific journals attending lectures
Even spilt built himself small telescopes to observe the night sky
It's just you know
He was always kind of interested in space is that truly what this part of the story is for like you see actually justifying
Why he was abducted he's like listen, you know, I'm not just any guy, dude.
They fucking they took me because I'm the best.
I'm a fuck master, bro.
You would think. But wait till we keep talking, because like the way he paints himself is not the most like, like heroic picture at all.
So, yeah, he's he's out there doing his thing now.
He lives out there kind of working on that base at Nellis Air Force Base and his
life and his journey he was about to take,
he was fully unprepared for.
Now, before we move into his first encounter
with the Tall Whites, I need to quickly educate you
about one of the base's biggest legends.
First encounter.
Oh baby, oh baby.
First of 14, baby.
Oh.
Settle in.
Just you wait.
The first thing I can teach you about
is a legend that was on the base known as Range 4 Harry.
Huh?
Legend of Range 4 Harry was well known
around Nellis Air Force Base long before Charles showed up.
Will you just say that one more time?
Yep, Range 4 Harry, the number four, F-O-U-R, Range 4.
Like, he belongs on Range 4.
Harry from Range 4. Clearly from Range 4, but they call him Range 4 Harry., range four, like he belongs on range four. Harry from range four.
Harry from range four, but they call him range four Harry.
Range number four, but not a range four Harry.
Correct, correct.
Harry who lives on.
That's how I heard it too.
Like a charity event they do every year.
Range four Harry.
This one, this is for Harry.
No, like Harry who lives on range number four.
Gotcha, gotcha.
This is like a super well known like tale around the base.
It was a legend whispered among the airmen,
a story of a mysterious and elusive creature
that roamed the vast expanse of the Nevada desert.
I'll let the book describe the legend, quote,
Range 4 Harry is supposedly a horse that got too close to an atomic bomb blast
that was
set off way up at Frenchman Flats back in 1954.
It was right after the blast that people started seeing him.
He's been down here out on Range 4 ever since.
The radiation burned him real bad, so usually he hides up in the mountains.
But on warm summer nights, he comes down into the valley and roams the number 4 range up
at Mojave Wells.
One side of him glows a soft fluorescent white. No one knows what the other side of him looks like
He never turned
Everybody was just on the one side. He's always exiting stage left. Yeah, never any other way. It's like a living moon.
Everyone who has tried to walk around him and look at him from the other side has gotten
burned pretty bad or attacked.
Wait, really?
Oh, that's the excuse?
Correct.
You can't see his other side because they'll burn you.
They'll attack you. This is like a fallout character.
What the hell is this thing?
Either way, they've all come back scared stiff.
If you see him, don't ever try to walk up in front of him and look him in the face.
Harry doesn't want anyone to see his face.
The few people who have seen him from the front say his face is a human-like, but very unusual.
But very unusual, he is said to have large blue eyes and his face is a human like but very unusual but very unusual.
He is said to have large blue eyes and his head is real large.
They say his face looks sort of like the face of a horse and
his tail is made of long blonde hair.
Whoa.
So this like a horse potentially horse is some sort of horse
human hybrid.
Something like there was a rider and it nuclear fused the
human into the horse probably persona
Five fusion of like personas
Are you kidding? That's amazing
range for Harry's kicks ass
Range for do
And child Charles initially laughed at the idea, but nobody else on base did they all took it very seriously
It seemed like everyone was terrified of range four Harry,
among other things that were happening on base.
The man he was sent up there to replace a man
by the name of Sullivan, even explicitly Warren Charles,
never ever to go out on ranges three and four.
And then to just make up the winds you're supposed to record
in the weather for those areas
because nobody fucking checks anyway
and only ever stay on range one.
Range one is the only safe place to be.
That was like, and this is the man
Charles came up to replace.
Sullivan did what he was about to do for four years.
I'm so pissed off there's no fan art of range four Harry.
Also for safety reasons, for safety reasons, Charles never uses a last name
and changed the first name.
So we're only getting first names
that are completely changed from the actual person's name
that actually was on the page.
Range for Harry as a last name?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Sullivan, Sullivan, like Sullivan.
It's actually Range for Larry, dude.
Sorry.
Bro.
His name is Range for Larry, you motherfucker.
This is Range 3 Larry and Range Four Harry,
and they have territorial disputes every so often.
Heritorial.
So territorial.
This is also, not only is this a book
where he talks about the time I slept with my boss's wife.
Which is badass.
He did not sleep with his boss's wife, he only danced.
Sure, sure, sure, danced.
Yeah, yeah.
But also it's government and military negligence. There's like, do not do your job. He's peeling back the sure, sure. Dance. Yeah. But more, but also it's government and military
negligence. There's like, do not do your job. Peeling back the don't go stay on range one.
Don't go all the way out the four and don't record any information. You know what that
sounds like is like the like environmental storytelling of a horror video game. They're
like, yeah, stay at range one, but uh, watch out for range four. We've had some reports
of, uh, yeah. And if you do note you find in the first chapter, yeah. Yeah, stay at range one, but watch out for range four. We've had some reports of-
Never go out to range four.
Yeah.
And if you do-
It's the note you find in the first chapter.
Yeah, exactly.
If you do, but don't, but if you do,
but definitely don't, take this flashlight with you.
It's gonna be the only thing bright enough to-
Hold this camera and this lighter.
We're sending you out to go investigate what's going on.
Yeah, yeah.
Also, by the way, this is a great argument again for like
why didn't you just write a book like I would read the range for Harry book
yeah awesome get a sick comic artist I'll walk like he sounds sick yeah and
even if anybody ever wants to like he wants to fight crime he just turns you
just did the porky big everybody everybody like so. How about a here, how about a here?
Huh? Oh, fucking caught me off guard.
I haven't been this hype about something in a long time. All right.
I'm glad you love in the story of range for Harry.
Now we got to listen to the rest of this stupid story.
We need range for Harry.
Does he have a big M16?
Yeah. So quickly, Charles quickly learned that no actual work was actually done
on those ranges, at least not the work that he was sent out to do,
like the weather measuring and to like jot it down and shit. No actual weather balloons were
being sent out. They were just left on the ground. Wind recordings were seemingly random as airmen
were just too terrified to go out into the range. Charles was confused as to why he was even sent
out here in the first place if everybody was just going to tell him not to do it.
This is his explanation for why it definitely wasn't weather balloons, is that what?
I don't know. No, no, I don't. Yeah. Yeah. All right.
Dude, nobody was doing their jobs. The weather balloons that were on on site were deflated and
busted. So it couldn't have been them. Little did Jarls know his very first
encounter with the tall whites was about to be actually had one night while Charles Charles was
out kind of patrolling the ranges in his truck, on his duties, he caught the glimpse of something that seemed to be peeking out
from behind a nearby sagebrush. Every he stopped the truck flashed a flashlight over and what
he saw as soon as he saw whatever it was, was a little girl who took off running the
minute the flashlight was leveled at her. Oh. But you look confused, Jesse.
Got a problem?
No, I mean, I'm just curious why the little girl's there.
I'm waiting for the answer.
I'm excited.
Yep.
Curious about that.
Is it a tall little girl?
Yes.
I like the way you think.
The color.
Aaron, you're got your mind in the right place.
You had to pick one color to describe the little girl.
Mm-mm.
I might go with white.
So calm and collected, like cool, calm and collected,
he went back into, he threw his truck in a drive
and followed the little girl in his truck
that popped out from the nearby sagebrush.
What he saw as he eventually cornered her
into a thicker sagebrush area, when she stopped moving,
what he saw was approximately three feet tall,
white skin,
but not white as in like us, like pale white.
How many feet? Three feet tall, not tall, not not tall.
It's not that tall yet. All right.
Their skin was a grower, not a shower.
Does that make you feel another show?
Nothing wrong with that.
Not white like our skin, but more white like chalk or porcelain.
Like paper?
Yeah.
Yeah, like an actual like pitch.
Like actual.
I don't know if you've seen me lately.
That's the same thing.
You see my butt cheeks.
Yeah.
But while she did look somewhat human,
she was distinctly not human.
For one, he described her as much too thin to be any
ordinary human girl. Her eyes were also much larger than any humans. And instead of being
front facing, they were more on the sides of her head, like a deer or a goat would have
them. Cool. Don't don't don't look like Jesse. Like I'm trying to imagine it. Look, my faces
are faces of brain activity. Let me have this audio medium. It's an imagine it. Look, my faces are faces of brain activity.
Let me have this.
It's an audio medium.
It's an audio medium.
Moreover, her fingers were elongated
and ended in very sharp claws.
Realizing that whatever this was clearly wasn't human,
he began to slowly and calmly back his truck up to leave.
But as he did so, in the distance somewhere behind him,
he heard a loud screeching
sound that panicked him to the point where he just slammed the foot down on the pedal
and he took off. The whole drive back, however, he continued to feel as though he was being
watched. So when he finally turned around mid-drive, he saw another white creature,
but double the size of that three foot tall little girl. And he then just like went over
a hundred miles,
like literally just went from 60 to a hundred.
This is like when you find a baby bear
and then you realize you're in big danger.
Momma bear's around, yes, yes.
That's a, yeah.
He kind of had kind of that feeling.
So as he floored it back to the weather station,
and after getting back to safety,
he tried to logic himself out of what he just saw,
rationalizing, he said, to say,
oh, it must have been some sort of undiscovered genus of seagull that he just saw. I'm sorry. What?
Yeah, that was my first thought too. Right. Right. And yeah, that's what I thought too.
Maybe it was the biggest fucking bird that's ever walked this earth.
Yeah. That's what he, that's what he told himself. He said, he told himself,
it was just an undiscovered like species of seagull for sure. For sure.
That's what I saw at six feet tall and three feet tall.
Whatever. Amen. Whatever.
I helped him sleep that night, I imagine.
But before he got back to the base completely, Charles goes on to say that he felt
what he described as a presence, thanking him for finding a lost child.
This caught Charles entirely off guard, freaked him out so badly
that he had to pull the truck over, throw it in park, get out and bend over to vomit.
Oh man, poor guy.
Okay, wait, how much detail does it go into about this? What communication he got?
About that much. He said it was a feeling. It wasn't like a word or an image.
It was more of like a feeling for finding a lost child.
Somebody was like, thank you.
You are a little weird giggle that precedes and ends every communication.
Yeah, that's what you just said.
And it made him so nervous.
He got out of his truck.
He had any puked, which marks sort of character quirk.
We'll notice from Charles from now on.
He vomits a lot.
Puking from being scared, puking from being tired, hurt,
even puking at some points just from how excited he got.
Like the man pukes a lot.
Like he just, yeah, good for him for bearing that out.
Charles writes and apparently just kind of pukes all the damn time
that eventually he would make it back to the base
where he thought he would just go back to the dorm and lay down.
He walked in to smell a meal of an enormous serving of bacon, a thermos filled with coffee,
eggs and toast cooked just the way he liked them all made up by the base chef, a man by
the name of Smokey and through Smokey as he was he got he got came back and Smokey had
cooked up a meal like really really talking like, what?
Like 3 a.m., like 2 a.m., somewhere around there.
And through Smokey, he learned that the general of the base
had somehow already known about what he had just
transpired to him out on the range
with the little girl alien, and said he'll never
have to worry about quote unquote anything white
out on the ranges anymore.
This came from the chef.
Yeah, aside from like the context of those those words just being like you could just phrase that in a better way.
Like you're telling me that what happened here was that the general went to Smokey the base chef said, you better make this guy a delicious breakfast
in the middle of the night because I'll tell you what,
he went out there and he saw an alien
in the middle of the field, Smokey.
Smokey, I want you to know that he saw an alien,
a little girl alien, and when he gets this big ass breakfast
that you're gonna make for him in the middle of the night,
I want you to tell him that he doesn't have to worry
about anything white on that range ever again.
And I literally the next line in my script is now you might be asking how did why did
the general use the chef and how did he know?
Yes.
I tell you Smokey was a little alien and then when he was driving away he saw a bigger alien.
It was twice the size Smokey I swear.
It was a big seagull of an alien.
Smokey you're cool man.
I like you Smokey, you're cool, man. I like you, Smokey.
So unfortunately, the book's not like super clear on like how the chain of communication there works.
The way I think it works is that the tall whites contact the general and let him know that Charles did like a good job or like whatever.
And then for whatever reason, he then instead of contacting Charles himself then
Contact smoky who like you said then tells me to make a breakfast instead of I don't know giving him like a panel
I don't wrong reward. I just got a feeling smoky this guy needed breakfast
Yeah, it's the same vibe as like when you do good at work and your boss gets a pizza party a gift card for $5
Like yeah, it's like elementary school believable in a way. It doesn't it in a weird way. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, the, like I said, he's not
the food. The idea of it being food is fucking weird. Yeah. And the fact that it
comes through the chef is also kind of really fucking weird. Um, and yeah, so
like, why does it go through that chain? Doesn't really fucking doesn't really
fucking get answered. Has anyone talked to smoky about this? Not to my knowledge.
No, I think Smokey.
Has anybody confirmed Smokey is real? You know, remember his name was changed. Smokey sounds a
lot like corn pop. I'm just saying the name, the name was changed. So I wonder what his real name
was. Okay. I don't know. We don't know. Misty Misty. So I think this is a great time now to
break down the tall whites as a species from their biological, like a
life cycle to a little bit about where they come from after kind of getting a nice glimpse
of them there. So tall whites, first and foremost, there are species of alien that lives 10 times
longer than humans do averaging around. How do we know that?
Oh, don't. I have good question that will be answered that will be cool. We know
the Book of Seagulls book for
They brought they dropped a little Brian Froud esque like dissection book. I'm like, did you know?
You got a feeling of that tall white only known as the teacher that will meet in a little while. Don't you worry?
Hell yeah, so yeah, they average around 800 years in age and when we say tall white like I said
We're not talking about human kind of white
We're talking chalky white porcelain white and they supposedly also glow very gently under low light for one reason or another Mr.
Burns
their brains work seven times faster than the human mind. Their home planet is such a made up type. Not six, not eight, seven.
Very specific. It's like being like my car is four times cooler than the average car.
Their home planet is slightly hotter than earth, which is why they ended up living in
the Mojave Desert, something that's a lot closer to their home planet.
They're like, yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
It's fucking freezing out there at night.
What are they talking about with this Nellis Air Force base in, uh, in, in alien lore,
there's a total underground base where a bunch of aliens like live and work with the government
and these tall whites have like presence there.
Uh, they live there.
So like, I imagine when it gets really cold, they go underground, you know, wherever they live.
Sure.
Yeah, just because it's sure.
That's exact kind of person,
like the kind of mood you should have right now.
And apparently when it comes to the Mojave desert,
the US government actually gave them a piece of the desert,
like legally like signed it over to them.
The aliens?
Yes, to the tall whites, yeah.
Why do they need to own anything? Good question.
They're not even... Good question. They pay taxes? Because he mentions and brings up in the book,
a question arises. Why? Because as far as Charles Hall knows, and as far as he tells us, tall whites
don't enter or take things freely or make deals with anybody unless they are benefiting greatly
on the other end. All right? So what did they get and what are they allowed to do? And what did we, what did we do with them?
James Charles doesn't even understand.
I mean, Charles James doesn't even understand.
God damn it.
Don't God damn it me.
You get the question.
He doesn't even understand.
No, what I'm saying is he doesn't like the fact
that he's like, I don't know why they own it.
They must own it for some reason.
I'm just picturing the fucking paperwork on this.
Like, what are we talking about?
Who bought it?
The seagull?
Yes, I guess.
What do they pay?
What do they pay?
Good question.
Yeah, I mean, imagine technology.
I get we get a piece of their tech.
We are also...
Even then, you can't write...
So...
You can't buy land with tech.
I don't put this in the episode,
but like they're also, according to the book,
the tall whites kind of use us as like a...
The planet Earth is like a stopover planet
where they repair their ships because they... Like a rest stop use us as like a the planet Earth is like a stopover planet where they
Repair their ships because they like a rest stop very much
They don't really like love the human race very much. They kind of just deal with us. They they don't really trust us very much
That's how I feel about you know fair fair
So, you know, there's not like a great relationship between us and tall whites according to an ex Air Force man
They don't are but again just this one. They don't like us. They tolerate us.
They have all the technology in the world.
Why do they need us?
Because Earth is out in the boonies and there's not a lot out here.
So like we're one of the few places they can stop, repair, refuel, and then they can leave.
Earth is not really in the galactic core, man.
All right, but this begs the question again.
I got you.
Imagine, just Mathis is imagine for a minute.
I imagine I want to want.
I want to know you're you're you're out in the boonies.
I'm out in the boonies.
Let's say you're in the middle of life.
I lived in the boonies for a long time.
I got you.
The middle of America.
You're in a small town.
Where are you going?
What do you mean?
I'm asking the question if you're an alien and you're out here in the boonies air quotes
is the military air force base. That's where they go. That's where they live. Where Oh,
like Sagittarius, Sagittarius, African Tori bro. Come on. But I'm saying like, like what
I'm asking is it doesn't make sense. Their path of travel. Why even stop here? Listen, maybe we're in between two awesome spots, bro.
That could be it.
That's what I'm saying.
Go back to Vegas.
Maybe the Mad Greek is here.
Maybe there's some...
We're the Mad Greek of space, dude!
Maybe there's some flavored pistachios.
It's like...
What's the name of that town?
Oh, God.
We're the death Valley of
Town that's like right across the border of California. That is like the last stop for we
Yeah, yeah, I think that's what earth is like and it makes sense to me, you know, it's got a fudge factory
It's my favorite part of earth already. So it makes sense that it's like the spirit of encapsulated. But I also love that. Like if
it's a stopover planet, you'd think it'd be like convenient, but it seems horribly convenient
to like, like be so secretive about stopping off here. It's like, okay, don't just don't
like fly over Australia or anything like that'll be fucked up Like just come at it from this very specific angle and like and like turn off the sound and like make sure
You know you only land in this spot and like cuz people will see you and it'll be fucked up
And you'll mess up the whole planet like God. This is a lot of paperwork for a fucking backwater planet
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You might be wondering what's the average height of these
species. If we continue down with these pieces look like six
to seven, six to seven feet tall, but they have some pretty
tall. They've gotten as tall as they can get as tall as around nine feet or so.
And they go through three very specific growing cycles, baby to adolescent.
And this is when a tall white is at their most dangerous from baby to adolescent.
I thought you were going to say fertile.
They most.
Why?
What?
Did I?
I thought you were going to say most. Why? He said. Fertile
Most dangerous bro, no, they're most
So the tall whites really get you most excited that much takes a drag with a cigarette
I met the tall wife's general and his tall white wife came over. I said it was cool if you fucked my wife.
In fact, I'd always wanted to be cupped by a human. No, the tall whites are as a species
relatively reactionary and I would call it paranoid, defensive. And at their youngest
age, they are extremely reactionary on top of being impulsive and very wildly dangerous because they have those sharp claws
You know, it's crazy that you say that I when you described the first the short white
The little girl I thought of my first thought was the little witch from Left 4 Dead. Oh, yeah
She got like the claws and then you're saying
like they're defensive and they're kind of like it's like oh man that's just
that's exactly what I see in my head. It was soft disclosure bro! Left 4 Dead was
soft disclosure. It came out after Left 4 Dead didn't it? Yeah, Gabe knows. Gabe knows if
aliens are real. Wait so is the assumption here that he when he was out in the desert and he saw this little
girl, that the little girl was violent.
She could have been, yes.
And that it could have ended badly for him.
Yes, he was in his truck, so he was safe.
That's why he never really got out of his truck.
But yeah.
They have five fingers?
Yeah, yes, they have five.
What do you suppose the evolutionary advantages of having five long fingers with claws?
I imagine defense.
That's also something I was thinking of where it's like, okay, if they're violent or defensive
or whatever, like the side facing eyes is like a evolutionary, like not, it's like a
prey thing.
It's a disadvantage.
Yeah.
That doesn't help them at all.
They're very, they're a prey like species.
You'll learn that they're very reactionary because they're so fragile. We'll get like, they are a defensive. Oh, the children have to have the thing. They're very, they're a prey like species. You'll learn that they're very reactionary because they're so fragile. We'll get like they are a defense.
Oh, the children have to have the defenses because they are hunted.
Correct. Correct. You are figuring whatever was on the planet. I don't fucking know.
Dude, they're being hunted by range for Harry, man.
Fuck. Yeah, motherfucker.
Range for Harry just became a fucking badass movie that we need to fucking make alien bounty hunter chasing
these tall whites. I'm obsessed with range for Harry dude. I think he's sick as fuck.
How is he like a footnote in this story? He is way cooler than anything else happening.
He comes back. He's going to come back. Don't worry. Oh, awesome. Don't worry. I told you
the story's fucking great. How does that?
So yeah, the kids are extremely reactionary, impulsive,
very dangerous, not until they go into
their second adult, uh, growing phase
where they kind of come their wise into adult phase,
which is another reason Charles is so
good at this job, is because he's
so uniquely fucking boring
that the child tall whites
aren't prone to feel like he's a threat
at any time.
I'm dead serious.
He's like, stay calm.
I'm dead ass serious.
Stay calm now, child.
Like, it fits, man.
Yeah, exactly, like that, Alex. You've got it.
What was that impression of?
That's him, dude.
I hear only listening to him for about two seconds.
I just can't.
Yeah.
I'm just trying to think how any of this,
I guess the question is how long is their childhood cycle?
Like how long are they children?
About 200 years, about 200 or 300 years.
Shut up.
Oh, nevermind.
All right, so they need to survive for 200 years
before they can become wise.
So their claws go away?
Do they, like what happened?
No, they always maintain their claws because they're always been a fragile species on their planet. Even as adults, they're fragile.
But they, you know, when they're out of adulthood and they've, you know, fully grown up, they're not like impulsive kids anymore.
They're more wise and able to think before acting. Do they use technology to battle the things that fought?
I imagine at some point they did because they dominate their planet now so then when did the war with the with the monsters that hunted them end that they still genetically
have we have to make that movie to find out because I don't know there is the brain you
mentioned a war that he never mentioned how did you know about the war you said they dominated
the planet yeah well because they feel like millions of years ahead of us in terms of
technology they are literally the alpha species on their planet.
I don't know how it happened.
You would think over a million years they would evolve into having not claw.
That's not something he asked about.
I don't know what to tell you.
I think they're lying to us, dude.
I think the tall whites are liars.
When the tall whites are making love, Do they have their hands up in the air
like they're on a roller coaster or something?
Like just trying not to.
They interlock their hands together
like insects hooking into each other.
That's beautiful.
It is, it's all about true love.
So they can grow six to seven feet tall,
some going as large as nine,
and through their life cycle,
they go through three total.
This one, they typically have to actually
leave planet Earth to go back to their planet because the gravity on Earth is not, their life cycle, they go through three total. This one, they typically have to actually leave
planet Earth to go back to their planet
because the gravity on Earth is not,
it doesn't help them grow to the six to seven feet tall
they would normally be, it's too much.
The gravity on Earth is too heavy for them.
In fact, on Earth, the tall whites that are walking around
typically have a bunch of small children,
adolescent tall whites walking around with them,
helping them maintain posture because if they didn't, they'd be slumping.
Shut up.
How do they do that?
This is why we do our research here at Shaluminati Podcast.
How can a short white help a tall white?
We read books that are useless and watch documentaries that are pointless so that I will always remember
this shit for the rest of my life.
How can a short white help a tall white?
They walk around with holding their hands and providing support. But pushing up up a little bit down like when they have to get up and walk
Which may who holds up the short whites then because presumably
They're good, they're good. They're only three feet tall the gravity doesn't affect them as much. They're just
Saying that's why they have
to leave the planet so they can grow without having to worry about that kind of thing happening.
You know what I mean? So are they birthing new tall whites on planet earth? Well, short
shortish whites a little bit. Yes. In there, but then their facility within the government
base. So let's let's move. Let's keep going. Uh, after the first growing phase, great place
to raise kids, by the way. Absolutely. Do you let the government raise your kids for you?
Never mind. I stand corrected. I thought it was just weight affected
Gravity, but it's height and weight. So this checks out I've googled it. It checks out. Yeah science says I'm correct moving
I'll say I that's never steered me wrong
so they grow it in this thing they grow to their adult size six to seven feet and then that that's their like
So they grow up in this thing. They grow to their adult size 67 feet and then that that's their like
They're their next and final growth spurt happens about halfway through their life cycle 400 years old It's their third one
So they go a baby to an adolescent adolescent to adult now adult into their final one
And their final phase of growth actually is the phase that kills them over time
The reason that they die at around 800 is because their
body doesn't stop growing at this phase and they will grow
until they have organ failure from too much growth.
And that's how they die like alligators.
That's like those every time you see a guy who's like seven
feet tall or whatever.
Yeah, that's always his story.
That kind of you know what?
This may be real.
See, it's more believable than project Serpo was, which kind of sucks actually.
Cause Serpo was great. But again, this, the problem. So Aaron,
we did this thing last week that was project Serpo.
And the only reason why it was so trash is cause it was so detailed with facts
that are not like bullshit facts like Saturn's rings or rainbows.
And they came from 40 anonymous emails from an anonymous center that like, but that, that happens all the time in alien stuff.
What's the conundrum?
The problem is that they did facts that are, it was like, yeah, they traveled to this distant
star at the speed of light and it took them this amount of time.
And then people just calculated how long it would actually take to travel there.
They're like, that's totally false.
That's not right.
And so they have to be like, oh, well, the spaceship though of intense G's, the alien
spaceship was like a different, it's a different thing.
And it's like, no, yeah, but it's different though.
You don't get this.
This is kind of fun because it's just vague enough to be stupid enough to be fun to
listen to instead of getting outrageous.
And especially fun to picture because as he is, as Charles James is describing,
he's the reason that they like him is cause he's so boring, which is just such a,
like it just imagine like Hank Hill
Hanging out with a bunch of aliens. It's like what the hell is happening over here
Stuff and they're just like he's cool. Don't worry about it
Now watch this watch this boo, and then he just pew
He's crazy Charles is always doing this stuff man. He's crazy
Meanwhile in the background a really tall one just starts like shrieking and dying
Self apart
Their eyes are large and blue they sit on the sides of their head like I said earlier
But they look human enough that if they wore enough of a disguise that can actually pass as human
Guess what they do it all the time because surprise the tall weights fucking love Vegas
Vegas. They love Vegas. I'm not kidding you. I'm not kidding you. The Tomlans love Vegas. They think gambling with our currency is fucking hilarious in a great time. They often go to,
they often take trips to the strip just to enjoy the nightlife of our humanity.
They're just like us. I know several actual Norwegians who think the exact same thing.
So I feel like. I feel like if you're gonna if an alien could describe
Vegas is the place that could get away with it Vegas in like anywhere in Florida. So where do they get their money?
I'm sure the government just gives them like a stipend or something
It's just like a subway uptown
Huge threat to public safety, but go have fun.
Just go.
Very sensitive and very reactionary, but also go gamble.
And they have four inch long claws on each of their fingers.
Right, right, right.
Yeah.
So in order to, in order to participate though,
in that sweet human Vegas nightlife,
the tall whites need a way to communicate
because they don't speak English. They're not like fluent in English. So you might be thinking, well, maybe they're
just like every other alien. They are telepathic like every other species that we've talked
about in some way. And you're like, if you were thinking that you're like 75% wrong.
The tall whites employ a mechanical device shaped like a small box that's hidden under
their clothes that sits on their belts
that translates languages back and forth instantaneously for them. And if they wanted to, they can also
use-
It's called an iPhone, dude.
No, it's a little box on their belt. And they can use that box to also telepathically communicate
with them. But they also have devices back at the base that are telepathy
helmets that eventually Charles starts to wear regularly after he starts to get used
to these people.
I don't know what this helmet is.
I'll tell you what this is comfortable. I can hear all their thoughts and shit. Whatever you say. I'll tell you what, this is comfortable.
I can hear all their thoughts and shit, this is great.
So yeah, they can use that box and these helmets
that they later use to also use for telepathy,
but it's not an inability they have in their mind
like the grays use, it's a technology reason
that they can actually do it.
But it's more used for instant audible translation of languages back and
forth. So wait, so let me ask you a question.
Yeah. So do they speak?
Yeah.
But in the box, I think gives out a voice.
And this is all totally believable when you're at the craps
table. Right.
Well, I'm not going to be so far away.
It doesn't really matter.
Right.
They got money
So this dude's rolling dice and like his dick is just talking to people
I can imagine it's on the side of his hip
Not the center, not a belt buckle, just on the belt
I feel like the house would be concerned about the location of his eyes
Listen, the government absolutely
He can see everything
I bet you the government reaches out and lets the place know ahead of time, okay?
You're telling me the Luxor.
By the way, aliens are real.
So don't freak out when an alien walks onto your gambling floor and wants to run some
slots.
He said they were believable enough if they were able to like dress up.
So you have to imagine they're just passable.
They look human.
Yeah.
Slides you a 50 under his ID to get a better room.
Yeah, exactly.
Over 200 years, do their eyes slide
to the middle of their face?
No, but it's kind of around the side
and a little bit into the front, but not fully.
Oh, no.
I feel like you would notice
if someone had even remotely side eyes,
just a little bit.
Never been to Vegas in my life life So I just imagine that's normal
In just seeing people like of all walks of life doesn't matter where their eyes are on their body
No, I mean that's that's true
But they're still people kind of like people apparently according to charles kind of like is not the same as like people
But they wear wigs they put on makeup and they wear clothing to hide like their
No, they fucking wear like shitty Obama Halloween masks.
Like that's the only way.
Maybe that's what they do.
All those guys dressed like Spider-Man on the strip.
Alien.
There you go.
If you were curious and actually wanted to know what they sounded like when they spoke
and not didn't use like that.
Please tell me there's a recording.
No, but I can tell you though,
Charles says most of it is inaudible to the human ear
due to its frequency,
but there are bits of the language that are audible
to the ear.
And he says they sound like quote,
a combination of the beautiful lilt of the song
of a metal lark and the sharp short stabs of a barking dog.
So if anybody wanted to,
anyone of you want to take a stab at that.
So they're just, so they're just hearing almost nothing,
but it's like, ah, ah, ah.
Wait, a meadow lark?
The sweet lilt song, beautiful lilt song of a meadow lark
and a short, sharp stabbing bark of a dog.
Let's hear a meadow lark.
Oh.
Hee hee hee hee hee hee, how, how.
There he is. That was good, that was good. That was perfect. Hee hee how, how, how. Let's hear a metal arc. Oh,
like they were right here with us. A witch getting tickled. It's like, it's like your stereotypical bird chirp is like what it sounds like.
So that mixed with like the of a dog, but that's like low.
That's not, I mean, unless he's talking about like a yipee dog.
He said the short stabbing barks of a dog.
That sucks. This guy sucks.
It's not like cool to imagine that. It sounds like it would sound annoying.
So after Charles first encounter showing these tall whites to seemingly be,
to have been mostly neutral around them,
tall whites can still be, he learned, incredibly skittish.
And if they feel threatened in any way,
they will use extreme-
They'll fold.
They'll just like, hey, I'm out.
I'm out.
They will, they will not.
This is a bad hand, I'm out.
No.
They will use extreme force and violently defend themselves from perceived said perceived threat. Moreover,
it's not very difficult to make a tall white feel threatened. Apparently,
it's very easy to make them like theoretically is this is due to their,
like I said earlier,
the physical vulnerability and being aggressive on an on a hair trigger seems
to be part of their evolutionary path.
Do they find humans threatening?
Well, they're doubly anxious on Earth
because an extremely violent species
who loves to shoot each other first
and ask questions later is kind of dominates it.
And according to the book, if you're,
and accordingly, they're so nervous around humans
that according to the book,
if you're going to move in any way around a tall white,
you must declare your action beforehand
lest they think you're about to stand up and attack them.
Everything- Like Pokemon!
Everything from standing up to walking to sitting down,
you have to say it first before you do it,
or they might panic and attack you.
This is how I know this is fake,
cause this is a very American, like aligned kind of,
it's like, oh, a race that shoots first
and asks questions later. It's like yeah one country
You say fake I say another point for Charles being a boring man
Yeah land in the fucking fields of Sweden and nobody's shooting first and asking questions
What's all of whites though lack for in physical strength, they make up for in dexterity.
And they can move at such a speed that they can retrieve and use their pencil shaped multi-use
weapon slash device that they keep within the nearby pocket that can hypnotize, stun,
and even kill human beings using microwave frequency weaponry that interacts within the
ions of the human body.
You're talking about a sonic screwdriver from doctor who sick dude.
I was like, yeah, it's kind of like, it's like an, am I like a men in black,
like forgetter device, killing device, everything rolled in one. It's like very,
very bizarre. Um, and those that aren't violent,
but friendly still are do so with a bit of arrogance and ego tistic nature to them. They typically kind of like casually
insult the humans they interact with. Not in any like attempt to
insult us, but more in a matter of fact that they're better than
us sort of way in terms of like technology and way of life and
they're like punching down more than they're very much so yeah,
which mixed with humanity's penchant for not taking that
kind of thing well, has apparently led to many a violent encounter and even death of humans in the
past who have, you know, been trying to deal with the tall whites because they get offended
when the tall white say something mean to them and they talk back and then they die.
See this it's like these are stories that have happened.
Like where's where when Mojave Desert, like who wrote about that?
This guy, that's it.
Like it's like, it's like, oh, they've had so many interactions with people where
they've done this and that with people.
And it's like, who, who's talking about this?
Where's that slashed up guy who was at the Vegas table?
How do we know that a dude got brain zaps?
Did the aliens say it?
And if so, how do we know we can trust them?
Don't worry, I got answers for you.
Bro, when do I not read books and watch?
This is, I'm well researched on this useless information.
Research is such a loaded term here.
I just must stress this.
It's not that you don't know.
It's that oftentimes the stories that you tell, I'm like, what
about this obvious question?
And they're like, no one knows.
Well, and it's just like, all right.
Well, for all these stories above, I posit this is the reason why Charles was the perfect
candidate to take on this job.
Boring to the point of safety around the tall whites, that they not only tolerated him,
but some of them even seemed to enjoy his company. Their arrogance around him became playful. He asks at one
point about their planet, like what the name of their planet is, and they laugh at him
and ask if he knows how to speak their language. And of course, when he says no, they said,
well, even if we told you, there's no way you could possibly know it. He even introduced them to propane and propane accessories.
Charles, while he was out on patrols, would also see them out there running around on
the range at up to speeds of 35 miles an hour.
These things were running at him.
He even faster than range for Harry, dude, he even did distance running himself,
timing himself to see if that he was right about how fast they were. Uh, and fun fact,
Charles could run about eight miles an hour. That is a fun fact. That is a fun fact. Ladies.
That's I mean, look, looking at him, that's like pretty fast.
Right?
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
He got a little that little.
He looks like a hobbit.
Yeah, he can move.
But he's actually like six feet to I think.
Oh yeah, he's not.
He's not hobbit size.
So he's a tall white.
I can still take him.
He is a tall boy.
Truly.
Even better.
He describes the way they would run physically. And, uh, it's just the Naruto run.
Their hands are outstretched. Their body is bent forward.
Their hands are wiggling in the wind and they literally run in the position of the Naruto.
So, you know, they have that image now at least. Uh,
So one night when Charles was out doing it,
yeah, Jesse, you got-
I'm just again, I'm on the evolution thing right now.
I'm just trying to figure out
why they would evolutionarily choose.
Why that would be the selective choice in evolution
to have them run like Naruto.
It doesn't make sense.
Aerodynamics, my man.
Prey species, they gotta get away fast.
Aerodynamics, dog.
Then the rest of their body would have been built
to speed.
You can go faster with four limbs.
Maybe not them. Maybe that not maybe not.
I don't know. Maybe not. I don't know.
Okay. All right.
One night when Charles is out doing his duties driving around his truck,
he saw a generator shed had a glowing flickering light coming from it. So having to go check it out to make sure everything was fine. He had been, he stopped
over to the potential malfunction and it was his duty to ensure that basically everything was running
well. That's why he would do patrols. He just makes sure everything's kind of just operational.
And so he stepped into the dimly lit shed where he kind of began his inspection and the hum of
the generator was the only thing breaking the silence. However, after he finished and made sure
everything was good, when he turned around, who was standing in the doorway himself?
None other than face to face, Range 4 Harry.
Yes!
Oh.
Yeah!
Oh my God.
Wait, so we know what Range 4 Harry looks like?
Absolutely, we do.
He looks like a horse, kind of.
Wait, he said he had like a human face though.
A little bit of a human-ish face, yes.
But what does that mean?
Like when you see a dog that kind of has the eyes of a man.
Yeah, kind of. Yeah, I think.
You don't know what I'm talking about.
You see the dog with the man eyes.
Yeah, I know you're talking about. I truly do.
This creature stood tall.
Its eyes were glowing with an eerie luminescence and held a strange
metallic device pointed
directly at Charles's temple.
Held how?
Whoa, because while he may look like a horse, he's actually a tall white.
He has hands.
Oh, dude, now we can take the bounty hunter story and it's one of his own.
He's his own.
Harry God, he's like blade. He's a right defender of freedom.
It's the day Walker. Wait, but is he still like, he's the gray Walker.
Is he still like, he's still like, like half tall white,
we are from the other tall white.
It's never fully described like why weapon X and like exactly other than then,
then it is. Don't math this me. I must stress this to you.
If you're about to tell us that range for Harry is like do not listen to them
The tall what's your line to you? I'm here to save you from them
This is the greatest story you've ever told us and I'm in a hundred percent because now you're gonna be sad
Unfortunately, but we should make a comic that that's how it goes. It could be called range three Larry
Copyright avoided did he copyright range for Harry range for Harry's a real guy. Come on I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a copy of that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a copy of that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a copy of that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a copy of that.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a copy of that.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a copy of that.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a copy of that.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a copy of that.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a copy of that.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a copy of that.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a copy of that.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a copy of that.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a copy of that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a copy of that. Range for Harry really is a bloody turn around face to face with range for Harry who was holding up a strange metallic device pointed directly at Charles's temple and from that
device a high pitched wine emanated from it.
Don't worry.
He said don't worry.
It won't hurt you.
So you might.
What had happened not too long ago is he hurt his knee.
At one point Charles was out. He was doing his patrol. He got out of the car and as he was getting out of the car he saw a knee. At one point, Charles was out, he was doing his patrol,
he got out of the car, and as he was getting out of the car,
he saw a tall white from behind the bush,
and it scared him, and he slipped, fell,
twisted his ankle, broke his knee,
fell into a sage brush, and then vomited.
So, you know, it just kinda, it happened.
So, you know, it just kinda, it happened.
Actually, so the reason that even happened
was because after he tested himself
to the end he was running eight miles an hour,
he decided that he was actually gonna start training
in hopes of one day being able to be fast enough
to maybe keep up with them in some way.
So one day he was practicing his broad jump
and he slipped and fell, smashed his knee,
tumbled onto the thorn patch, vomited and now moaning.
Fucking Looney Tunes dude.
This is the training montage.
Now he's moaning, hurting in pain, desperately needing somebody to come help him because
mind you, he decided not to train on base. He went out into the middle of the desert to do this.
But eventually, a few tall whites stumbled across him. And as they approached him,
they were carrying what he described as like an old-timey medical bag. He got super nervous.
And the tall whites noticed and even backed off from him because he was so obviously nervous.
But he quickly learned that the Pentagon was contacted and the government sent over somebody to get him because what they have is the one of the tall whites contacted one of the tall whites inside Nellis Air Force Base who then contacted the Pentagon who then cared enough about Charles's health to send out like a military unit to come get him and then bring him back to the base.
Wait, so where does Range 4 Harry fit into this?
So now he's out a couple nights after he never got his leg properly looked at.
He's in a little bit of pain, but he's still doing his duty.
He gets to the generator.
He turns around now Range 4 Harry standing there.
That's when he touches him to the temple, you know, does the thing to his head.
And Range 4 Harry says, quote, don't worry. It won't hurt you.
It's a voice that kind of echoed in his mind
and the words formed without being spoken aloud.
And the voice was very calm and reassuring,
but still undeniably alien to him.
And range for Harry gestured towards Charles's knee,
which had been injured during that practice.
And he felt sudden warmth on his knee.
And basically range for Harry showed up
because they needed to look at his knee and nobody was able to look on his knee and basically rain for Harry showed up because they needed to
look at his knee and nobody was able to look at his knee because Charles wouldn't let anybody
look at his knee.
So fucking rain for Harry showed up, did a little zap to his head and what felt like
just a few moments as his vision blurred past, he realized two hours passed because they
needed to fucking handle his knee.
Hey, question for you, but you're telling me that this man told everyone fucking handle his knee. Hey, question for you, Bryce. You know, yeah, I got you.
You're telling me that this man
told everyone he hurt his knee.
I was out there, I hurt my knee, it was terrible.
But then what about anyone check on his knee?
Yeah.
And then eventually an alien showed up and fixed his knee.
Yeah.
Cool, okay.
But didn't you just say that he was in a situation
where he like got really nervous
and they called the Pentagon on him
because like, wouldn't they just be able to like touch a thing to
his forehead and be like, you're not nervous anymore, child.
I guess they respected his wishes and range for Harry got the order to go do it, whether
he said it or not.
They're mad.
They know what it's like to get their medicine and diplomacy.
They're scared easily.
They know what it's like.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
See, thank you, Jesse.
And he was a reason.
Can you use that? No, we get it's like. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. See, thank you, Jesse And there's a reason how can you use that like no we get it, dude
So he felt a strange sense his eyes blurred and
Moments, like I said felt like a past but it was actually two hours that passed and when he gained consciousness
He didn't feel fatigue or discomfort his heel his knee actually felt completely fine and was actually fully healed
So he can't rain for Harry came over to help him out. Eventually after this incident, the next incident with the tall whites a few nights after this would be one where Charles
would come across his very first family of tall whites out on vacation. No, just out
on range three or four at night. You know, why? Why are they always just out chilling on the range? They're just, you know doing
Experiments you got to get some air sometimes Jesse. Yeah, see you can't just be underground all the time
Do you think the kid aliens enjoyed it was just like they were dragged along like when the family takes you to Williamsburg
It's like
As we wrap the story up you will see there is gonna like earth
You're gonna see there's a there is a reason that they're here and what they're doing here and Charles is you know?
Very very involved in it. What so it's not a stopover. It's an actual thing
No, there's a let me get to it right now
Is a guy that's starting to interact with the tall whites that's what he's doing
It's a guy that's starting to interact with the tall whites. That's what he's doing. It just feels very convoluted.
This also speaks to what I was saying earlier, where it's like, okay, they like warmer climates,
but if they're all hanging out outside at night, it's fucking freezing in the desert all the time.
I don't know, okay? I don't know. I can't answer the question. I don't know.
He would know that too. If he's saying they're out in the, if he worked in the desert.
Yes, he would know at night it's fucking cold.
Maybe they're wearing special alien clothes that keep them warm.
No, cause they're glowing.
They're glowing.
Mike, I know the truth.
I know the truth and we're actually going to get to it in a goddamn.
Okay.
I'll shut up.
So as he's dealt with tall whites before he knows what to do.
He approaches low and slow.
Once he's close enough that they notice him, however,
each one of them stood straight up
as though they were about to be attacked and face him.
But just as they did, who else showed up,
but ranged for Harry again.
Hell yes.
Now at this time.
His fucking cowboy hat and his fucking buckles.
I'm picturing a rope comes down first
and then he slides down the
rope. And at this time there is the introduction of the telepathy helmets and we know that Charles
wears one at night when he goes patrolling at this particular point in his life. So range four Harry
appeared wearing himself a what's known as a thought transference helmet, something
that the other tall whites were also wearing. And through this, Charles, yes, they were
wearing, I don't know what to tell you, they're wearing helmets, Jesse. Through this, Charles
tried to relay that he wasn't here to hurt anyone or do anything but to harm them, that
he was here just to do in his job. But one of them couldn't stop thinking that Charles might run over, attack one, tear the
limbs off of them and stuff the body into one of those quote unquote terrible garbage cans.
Oh yeah, that was the thought that kept happening. After around 10 minutes of this,
the family was finally calmed down enough. They were able to move over to range for Harry calmly while
Harry thanked Charles for not moving an inch during this
entire process trying to talk him down.
Because Charles' life was in danger in this moment.
They could attack him at any moment and range for Harry
can't stop a family of him.
There's too many.
Even he, the coolest warrior of them as too many even he the coolest warrior of them all even though he's been trained in alien
jujitsu let's see no it's serious follow-up question uh-huh if this is them out in the wild
why vegas they love vagin yeah they're in the mojave desert right yeah may have a desert
there's only one vegas right but if they're so pan Mojave Desert, right? Yeah, my hobby desert. There's only one Vegas right, but
If they're so panicky over every yeah, there are like smaller
The ones that are fully adults the ones that have gone through their first two growing phases the ones that are going where they can Handle it a little bit more than those who are younger who are the more feral I would call them
Oh the ones that are dying. Yes
400 years of dying to go so like it's a long time. Like they're all right. They got time to enjoy.
Do they take the bus? I bet they do.
I bet they take the bus.
They like charter buses. They do wear human disguises.
They want to experience the magic of a human bus, the smell of a human bus.
Do they eat? Do they eat human food?
Yeah, do they go to Guy Fieri's? They don't.
Do you think that's? They can't eat human food.
Their food is rather boring and bland.
And fun fact is one of the
reasons what he Charles tries at one point and it causes him to vomit.
Where do they stay in Vegas? Yeah, no weird. They don't like they don't sleep over. What's
their hotel overnight. They come back to the base when they're done. What do you mean?
They get fucking no, they get plastered and they got to pass out somewhere. They're staying
at the Rio?
Do they like a good magic show?
Well, they sound like avid gamblers,
so I don't think they have any good money
to like a good hotel.
Oh, pfft.
You can gamble with your own money.
I've never been to Vegas.
I don't know where you would stay.
I don't know where.
They're landowners.
They are landowners.
They own real estate in the Mojave Desert.
It's true.
The government gave them some real estate.
So as to that tense tenement encounter,
as Charles was making his way back, he was still connected to the thoughts of others
because it's a distance thing, you know, there's a distance before it severs. And as he was
listening to the thoughts over in the distance, in time, he was able to overhear Harry tell
the family that Charles would never harm them and that he was so much more intelligent
than any of the other humans. And in fact, Harry had never seen someone as intelligent
as Charles before.
He wrote this book, right?
Yes.
This is the guy who wrote it?
And his dick is huge. I mean, it's gigantic.
Remember, his wife forced him to publish this book. This was a private book that according
to his wife's forward, he would close his laptop every time be like I'm not this was the scene
this was the scene that he was writing. Time out time out time out I think we're on to
something here because the wife said she went in there and changed stuff and
removed the dirty he definitely banged that guy's wife the aliens said he had a
huge dick I'm convinced of this. It might have been a way better versions book of all the
the macho talk as she called it,
would have been left in the-
She came in and he was like,
what it was?
Just take out this smut.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm running my memoirs, please leave me alone.
So yeah, he heard-
He used the same cover.
What's wrong with the first cover?
So yeah, Harry, apparently Harry had never seen
someone as intelligent as Charles before.
Never. That's what he said in the thoughts that he overheard. It's after this that the tall white
seemed to take an agenda. A lot about our military, doesn't it? It really truly does. Oh man.
It says that even the end any man can become a hero in the right circumstances.
It's after the any man, Lord of the ring. Yes, correct. Lord of the rings. It's a modern day.
Any man, any man, every man, any man, every man, the ring. Yes, correct. The lord of the rings. It's a modern day. The any man?
The any man.
The every man?
Any man, every man, whatever.
The any man is worse than the every man.
The every man is like all of us.
It's like a message of all of us.
The any man is like a fucking psycho can do it.
Yeah.
You fucking eat your own poop, you can do it.
Any man.
Yeah, fair.
Yeah, so after this event,
it seems that Tall whites seem to take
a genuine interest in Charles and so much so that they kind of start like hazing him
and like fucking with him on the on the almost nightly just to see how he would react like
a mean science experiment, like a bully in high school who tells you the pain is just
weakness leaving the body. You know, that kind of like that kind of bullying.
Uh, one of my favorite stories is when char charle, apparently char,
charle saw a white parachute that was floating kind of weirdly outside the
gate of the base,
to which made charles immediately extremely nervous and scared and caused him
to vomit.
He saw the balloon?
He saw a parachute looking thing floating out from the gate and it made him really...
He looked back on the ground and he saw the weather balloons there in tatters and he barfed.
And he just threw up.
Yeah.
He also then saw the very next night a piece of plastic, he says, floating around that looked odd and like it didn't quite belong. This made Charles extremely anxious and caused him to vomit.
Okay. Okay. All right. So these aliens. Welcome to the show, Aaron. 251 episodes and you are
taking it aliens are living on the space. on the space with the knowledge of the US government.
And Charles is discovering these aliens through just like being around.
Like he's not, this isn't being like disclosed to him.
He's just like wandering around and then finding these guys. So like,
is there, is this happening to anybody else? Like what like wing is he a part of? Like
how is, how is anybody who like knows these aliens not like observing this guy and being
like, yo, there's a guy from fucking range one who's like hanging out with our aliens.
Like what the fuck is going on with that? Oh
When he came to the base They literally said they make up numbers and nobody goes out there because everybody's way too scared to deal with these things
It sounds like the scene of men in black with the aliens are like Jay and they're like pouring themselves coffee
He's just walking around
Yeah, yeah
Pretty much kinda it's kind of like that. Yeah, I was walking around the base
It's like yeah, they live there for some reason
this is so funny the dude that the aliens are hazing right now like should we do something about that or
Really fucking with their nose. It's all good fun
Took him on to one of their spacecraft
Which he goes on described uses a form of propulsion that doesn't adhere to typical human understanding of physics.
Traveling in these crafts often caused him
severe motion sickness, leading to him vomiting.
While the tall whites, they also primarily communicated
with their vocal translators.
They used the technology to also telepathically communicate some of the time and they quickly
learned that Paul seemed very sensitive to these things.
It would overwhelm him.
It would cause an intense pressure in his head accompanied by immediate vomiting.
All this stuff they said about him was just fake?
Like, oh, he's so smart.
When really what they passed around was like, dude, this guy's so weird.
We've never met another human like this guy.
Making this as real.
This is the cucked general getting back at him for dancing to his wife and sending him
here for his job.
Cause that happened.
He got this gig after that.
Oh, 100% this guy knew what was up.
The general was like, send him to the tall whites.
Hall also mentions that tall white sometimes use high frequently sounds as a form of communication
or technology. And these sounds are often inaudible to the human ear, but caused physical
discomfort in hall, including has headaches, pain, nausea, which then induce vomiting.
Is he like showing off? Like what is this? What is this bit? I don't know. He doesn't
have to say that he vomited everything. Like he really doesn't when he, and he, and he
did probe them about like what these noises were for were for, and they refused to explain them.
They would not tell him what they were for.
They just didn't.
I think they were like, want to make the human puke?
That's what it sounds like.
And then once while the tall whites brought him to the food hall where they would eat,
giving him some of their food to try, they knew ahead of time that the food was not compatible
with human biology. They knew ahead of time that the food was not compatible with human biology.
They did not tell him that.
And on several occasions, without like,
just excusing it that he must've gotten sick,
so it happened a couple times,
he would consume their food or drink,
which would result in him becoming ill, stomach cramps,
pain, and then vomiting.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
He went through a lot of people.
This guy's got a fucked up esophagus, man.
I'll tell you that. Yeah, he's fucked, lot of people. This guy's got a fucked up esophagus, man. I'll tell you that.
Yeah, he's fucked, dude.
All his teeth are all rotted.
All of this was, all of them hung out with him
and seemed to at least tolerate his company.
But this would all eventually lead to his fated encounter
with a tall white that he called the teacher.
It all started when he got a call
that an airliner had gone down in the Mojave Desert.
But Charles had known that no airliner was supposed to be flying over that area during
that day.
And he said, so he sent out a few men and to check out the area.
And when they returned, they ended up reporting that there was in fact not an airliner crash,
but there was something out there.
One of his men even returned with a burn on his head so bad
that he continued passing out.
Eventually, when he came to, he spoke of something that,
in fact, was in the desert, but was not a crashed airline,
but something that seemed to look like a plane without wings,
to my mind, tic-tac shape, was it?
Yeah.
Like a cigar?
Yeah, or cigar shape that was on fire in the ground.
He shouted for everyone inside of what he believed to be a human aircraft to get out.
And when he did out walked what would he called for pale, tall looking, you in humanoid creatures
that came climbing out and were immediately growling at him with a sound that he claimed
seemed to be a mix of a horse and a coyote.
Okay, were they on fire? Yeah.
No, they're smaller, like three feet tall.
So like four, like three feet tall.
So these were the kid version.
Yes, these are the small.
Why did it take them so long to get out of the burning craft?
I don't know. I have no idea.
They waited for him to show up.
Yeah, he showed up and shouted for them to get out and they were getting out.
The small creatures that were then followed
by an actual tall, tall white who said that they were,
don't worry, they were only playing
and that he needed to run and get out of here right now
if he wanted to survive.
They were only playing?
Literally said, don't worry, they're only playing
and you need to get out of here right now
if you want to survive.
That's what he told the guy, the human soldier. literally said, don't worry, they're only playing and you need to get out of here right now if you want to survive.
So he told the guy, the human soldier, that's what the tall white said to the human. Awesome.
You know, so very playful children.
He didn't believe a word of what they were saying, though, and ran up and tried to grab the woman that he believed like the mother of these children and get her away from the fire before two other tall, tall whites came out of the plane,
stopping him, screaming at him to get out of here and run for his life already.
Because they run for his life because the kids were like about to like attack him, I
guess.
Still trying to save him, ignoring those people.
And he's still trying to save this one of the tall whites.
One of them ended up pulling out that pencil like tool, zapped him in the head and called him a stupid pig. And then he had no right to touch the teacher. And he had, and
he ought to kill him before he blacked out and passed out. What? No, that's it. Then
he, then he was carried back by the guys who fed, like he was never, he was passing out
because he was burned so bad. It's cause he passed out near the fire. Yeah. But he didn't
vomit. No, this he didn't vomit?
No, this isn't Charles.
This is one of the men Charles sent down.
This is one of his men.
Yeah, no, Charles would have vomited by now, 100%.
As Charles was told all this,
he was the only one that seemed to have
any sort of positive interaction with these tall whites
that they went right back to Charles to tell him about it,
only for Charles to kind of shrug at them and say, okay, what, what do
you want me to do about it? Like he just, just like, okay, why are you telling me this?
I don't know what you want me to do. All right. Again, to confirm all these people on base
were like, yo, Charles, tall white guy. Yep. So we'll talk to him. Yes. And who are these
guys and why aren't they saying anything? These are like the dudes that Charles grabbed to send out to investigate what he was told
was an airliner that crashed when in reality it seems to be an alien spacecraft that crashed.
So they had this whole fucking first encounter kind of shit and where are they now?
Now they're back at the base with Charles.
No, I mean like now.
Like why aren't, you know.
Oh, this is not their real names,
they're anonymities kept for their privacy and safety.
They're chilling in Cabo San Lucas, baby.
I don't know where they are.
I mean, I should ask Charles.
Call them up and ask them about these aliens.
You know, there are many, many, many videos
of him doing interviews on many, many,
many different panels and shows,
and if you can suffer through it,
I bet you there's one of them
where he answers that question, I bet.
It's not one that I listen to.
So this teacher comes now this teacher knows of Charles is coming looking for Charles and
decides that he's going to come to the teacher came he's going to come right to the base
looking for Charles.
So the teacher goes looking ended up meeting with one of Charles's men that went out. Wait, what?
He just says, show us up at the base.
Yes, yes, just shows up.
Just like angrily knocking on the door like, hey, you bring Charles up right now.
More interested in speaking with Charles, be like, I've heard this human Charles is
actually a fascinating person.
Let's speak with him.
This tall white known as a teacher got done up in a ton of makeup, a human disguise and
a wig,
and came out to this base looking,
met a soldier that was out there initially,
a man by the name of Brian,
where she learned that Charles was actually out
for the night in Vegas having a good time.
And so she said,
Vegas, hot dog, I'll be right there.
I'll be right out there, I cannot wait.
She said thank you and then turned around
and left at a speed that wasn't human according to Brian.
And that was it, she got done all up for that.
She run away, she like put her arms behind her.
I imagine she was like Naruto run immediately out of there.
And just zoomed to Vegas.
So, you know, with that one attempt failing in order to ensure that they get a hold of Charles,
they. So the tall lights set up a fake doctor's appointment,
telling him that he needed a standard appointment with the
local on base neurosurgeon for some reason.
You any quite neuro.
And when he arrived at the doctor's office at the receptionist
X and this is in the book, I swear to God, a tall white that was dressed up like a woman
in a wig with a doctor's clothes on and like a little hat, had him check in and then made
him wait for 30 minutes in the reception area. To make it really believable.
Yes. Yeah. Well, there was a point actually, eventually he was called in to meet with the
supposed doctor where he was instead met with he thinks was either a security agent or something
where they started having small talk about fruit trees for a while.
And then afterward, this security person kind of out of nowhere says, "'Congratulations, Charles, you passed the first test.'
For waiting quietly for 30 minutes
before being sent in the building,
that was the first test.
And he passed.
Wow.
Man, he's just all about congratulating himself.
["The First Test"]
Next, he was instructed to leave the building and walk directly straight for a mile without looking back once.
And he would arrive at the place that he would be working on.
Don't fall for it, Charles.
Where he would arrive at the new place where he'd be working on base, where he would spend
at least six months at a time there with the occasional two week break.
And so without really arguing or asking any questions, he said, okay.
And he left and then walked straight for a mile where he arrived at a small little building
on the base that he was already working on, where he was told that he was now on a new
secret mission. Oh, hell yes. One chosen by the Pentagon itself, just for Charles,
quote unquote, incredible reasoning ability. That's why the Pentagon chose him. Yep.
That's what he says. This is literally Michael Scarn. And that they never met somebody
who has the guts that Charles had.
Man, fuck off.
It was Neil Breen.
Neil Breen, yes.
You know, honey, I love the part of your story
where you go on the secret mission for the Pentagon.
That's my favorite part.
People are gonna love that part.
Just get the swears out of there, baby.
Just like, do we really have to publish this?
Penguin is knocking down our door.
You know what?
I think maybe we should just put it out yourself.
So at this new station,
you would finally meet and greet the teacher herself,
a six foot tall, elegant, tall white
that he described as quote, looking upon a beautiful horse.
What's his deal with horses?
What is his deal with horses?
Dude, he's like a horse guy.
I don't know what that even means, man.
Does he know what horses look like?
I don't know.
I don't know.
He grew up in the Midwest.
He grew up in Wisconsin.
He has to.
Dude wants to fuck a horse.
That's all there is to it, man.
Maybe that's what this was initially, was like a weird like furry porn thing he was writing.
And she's like, we can sell this, but we need to change everything.
You gotta take out the horse fucking, honey.
Nobody's gonna read your horse fucking story.
Little did he, if he just waited another like 30, 40 years, he could be a rich, rich man.
Yeah.
So this is a new secret mission, meeting up with the teacher, this beautiful horse like
creature and the first encounter with the teacher. It's beautiful horse like creature.
And the first encounter with the teacher was as unexpected as it was intriguing.
We hold on that the teacher is not a humanoid.
He's a horse. They're a tall white. Right. Right. Right.
That just looked like a very attractive horse.
I don't know what he means when he says it looked like looking upon a beautiful
horse. I genuinely thought he thought that Harry was a horse and Harry just turned out to be
a tall wife.
I don't understand.
I don't.
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm I'm questioning what he is.
I don't think he knows what horses look like.
Is there like a disease where you just instead of seeing like shapes like you just see horses
everywhere?
Actually, so there I did not.
All right.
All right.
Let's go.
I'm ready for this.
So here's a question that I want to ask a while back when he
was approached by range for Harry with his little device,
and he was like, none other than range for Harry.
How did he know that that was range for Harry?
I wrote that. So, uh, well, cause he had, um, he had described and supposedly like seen
range for Harry before, but not up close. This was the first time he'd had gotten a
couple of range for Harry up. Exactly. It's like they all kind of look the same.
How dare you first. Like, not to, not to be racist against tall whites, but like,
how would he, was he like, yes, I'm
range for Harry. Like he doesn't know. I maybe cause the telepathic thing. I don't think
so. I don't, I don't buy it. It wasn't weren't telepathic. There's a lot. There's a lot.
There's a lot that kind of just doesn't get acknowledged that we just have to assume the
telepathic helmet does a lot of, all right. I don't know what else to say. It's just a
helmet that you put on and you know all information is what you're saying.
Also the thing that Professor Xavier- Cerebro?
Cerebro, thank you.
Good God.
I just, you know, the X-Men cartoon was so good though.
X-Men 97 was phenomenal.
All the aliens had cerebros?
I don't know though.
They had like an MIB device in their pocket is what they all had.
I'm saying they had on base these telepathic helmets. I don't know if they had infinite supply of them. All good, dude. All
good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ask him too many questions at this point. Clearly half
of them is irradiated and the other half is tall white. Anybody also looks like a horse,
but also if you look at him, you die. This is the coolest thing that's ever existed.
There's there is I Googled range for Harry and there's like no pictures of him in Google image search
Except for there's two a little bit down
There's one that's fucking awesome and it's like a horse and it looks like there's like blue
Electricity running through them and it's awesome and it's it's the the y-files. What is for range Harry?
But then there's another one where he's like it's like green and somebody photoshopped that face on him
That's amazing. Oh, it's so good. Oh
I'm gonna I'm gonna send this link right now. This one is I got a picture of Harry Potter. This one's directly from reddit and
This guy says this is what I imagine range for Harry looks like and this is oh is it?
Yes, yes, I love that
It's kind of like yeah, that's horrifying though. I would hate that so much, but then he's like I'm here to fix your knee I don't know if I would trust him. He's a nice guy for Harry is a nice guy. He truly is
So yeah, I remember Charles incredible reasoning ability and smartest guy in the world. That's why they picked him
He's on this mission now.
At his new station here, meeting with the teacher herself,
six foot tall, beautiful horse looking creature.
He was stationed at the remote Indian Springs base,
diligently recording weather data one afternoon.
As he finished his readings, a figure emerged
from the shimmering heat waves of the desert.
Tall, slender, and clad in a shimmering white garment.
And it's here he realized that these tall whites
didn't actually glow because of their bodies.
It was the clothing they wore.
That seemed to reflect and reflect light.
That was somewhat aluminum that made them look
like they glowed under low light.
How did he not figure this out until this point?
In Vegas they're totally fine.
He didn't get super close before, remember?
Yes he did!
Fucking raised four hair, he went up
and touched him with a metal thing on his head
Okay, well that that he like zapped him in the mind and like things happened. All right. I don't know why maybe Rage 4 Harry's naked
No, he glows
All right fine
I refuse
No
Part of the legend of Rage 4 Harry is that he glows
He glows, no
Don't tell me it's some fucking aluminum glow
No he glows
No
When they first got together though, but interested that she showed up, but not
remotely afraid as he's dealt with tall white so long, it wouldn't be long before a tall
white known as a teacher would become kind of intrigued by humanity in a sense.
Her very first question was simple but profound.
What is this thing you call love?
She asked.
Oh my God.
Jeez. Oh my god. Jeez.
Oh my god.
My people have told the tales of your lovemaking.
And I am intrigued.
Please, Charles, what is horny?
What do the human means by bricked up?
Five books?
Five books he wrote of this?
Six.
Six books.
Six books. Six books of documentary and he wrote of this. Six, six books, six books.
Six books of documentary and countless interviews.
Awesome.
And this is like, now you know,
it's not like a very major wrinkle in UFO culture,
but there is a place in UFO world
where people believe this is actually real.
Like this actually happened.
It is Googleable.
It like does exist up there.
Yeah, I mean it is Googleable, yeah.
Another question she would ask that night is,
why do humans laugh?
Oh no.
And what do you mean why do they laugh?
They're fucking playing pranks on them and shit
and they don't laugh?
He said gambling with human currency is hilarious to them.
To Charles, it was clear that her base intention, at least initially, was to try to understand
the complexities of human emotions and behavior.
Intrigued by her inquisitiveness, Charles engaged in conversation, trying his best to
explain the nuances of human emotions and social interactions.
And again, he read the books.
The man is not great with words.
I imagine very much a Hank Hill attempt.
Boy, I tell you what, man, laughing. It's the best. This is so good. You want some movie
airplane and you're just in stitches. I'll tell you what.
Some stuff's not hard, hard funny. It's just kind of...
You all got a VHS player. I carry a copy of airplane in my truck.
Sometimes things are funny on purpose and things are funny on accident.
All right, I gotta go. It's that mind.
It's that razor sharp mind that he has.
It is, it's that, and is a just genius
and unbelievable guts he also possesses.
Steel trap, yeah.
He also, didn't even click with me.
They said that he's one of the bravest men alive.
The man pukes anytime he gets scared.
How is that?
I'm telling you, they're messing with him.
Brave, like, yeah, they're just,
this general just fucking.
They all convinced her to go out there like,
all right, we're gonna send this really hot alien
to go mess with him.
The teacher.
She's like, tell me about love.
And they're all laughing in the background.
I think that's way closer to the truth.
These initial conversations too were brief but frequent, occurring whenever the teacher
found herself near Charles' location and she would appear unexpectedly, sometimes while
he was working, other times during his leisure time, and each encounter was an opportunity
for Charles to learn more about the Tall Whites culture, technology, biology, their perspective
on the universe and more.
And to answer the question of where we learned all these things, it's through his conversations
with the teacher that we did learn about all the tall whites
and how their world operates and how they evolved
the way they did.
Thank goodness.
And it seemed the teacher's curiosity was insatiable.
She asked about everything from human history to politics,
to music, to art.
She was particularly fascinated by human emotions,
often struggling to understand the complexity of love, anger and joy. And Charles in turn shared his knowledge
and experiences, patiently answering her questions and trying to bridge the gap between
the two cultures. Their interactions were not always smooth though, and there were misunderstandings
and miscommunications due to the differences perceived and ways of expressing themselves.
And one of my other favorite stories is over time, you spend over six months here.
They would be bringing,
the teacher would bring along with her small tall whites,
children tall whites,
and they would have,
she would have for them ask him questions.
He would also like ask them,
like just kind of talk with them and stuff.
But on a couple occasions,
due to a sudden movement or something he did,
like answered wrong,
they would get aggressive and defensive
and they like start snarling and stuff.
And it would freeze and you have to wait and she'd have to take them away
and their session early.
And when they left, he vomited.
So, you know, keeping true to who he is.
All when he's all by himself, it's just like, yeah.
Yeah, it's like the moment is like,
it is out of nowhere. He's done. One day, the teacher asked Charles about the climb at his moment. He's like, I just had it nowhere and he's done.
One day the teacher asked Charles
about his family and his childhood.
He shared stories about his parents, his siblings,
his life growing up in rural Wisconsin,
and the teacher listened intently
to her expression of myths of fascination and empathy.
She said, at one point,
your family sounds very loving, she remarked.
We do not have families in the same way that you do.
Our children are raised communally
by all members of our society.
So they're a communal species.
That's why this children kind of lean
to be kind of all over the place
because everybody's being raised by everybody else.
As their interactions continued,
the teacher began to take on a more active role
in Charles's life.
She would often appear during his work hours
observing his routines and asking detailed questions
about his duties as a weather observer.
Twerk him off.
That part was edited out by the wife.
She was fascinated by the technology humans used
to predict and understand weather patterns,
and she often engaged Charles in discussions
about meteorology and atmospheric science.
One day, the teacher invited Charles to accompany her
on a little field trip.
Wait, they have space travel to other planets and she's fascinated by fucking somebody
who's like, oh, it's going to rain tomorrow. Like what? Yeah. Yeah.
I imagine it's a cutesy fascination of like, that's adorable. Your technologies.
I think they're playing with them.
I think he thinks he's more hot shit than he is. And they're just like,
he's kind of like Neil Green and that he's not self-aware.
The way he describes them, talking to everyone else,
is like, humans.
But for him, he's special?
No.
No, they're playing this map.
He impresses them.
He's trying to tell them, good job once in a while.
This guy.
Yeah.
Who's coming to dinner?
So they went on a little field trip.
They ventured out into the heart of the Nevada desert,
far from the confines of the military base.
And as they walked, the teacher pointed out
various plants and animals, explaining their significance in the ecosystem and their
potential uses for the Tall Whites. She also shared insights into the Tall Whites' own
technology, explaining how they harnessed natural energy sources and how they used advanced
materials to construct their spacecraft and other devices. Charles was amazed by her knowledge
and her willingness to just share it with them. Their field trips became a regular occurrence, each one a unique opportunity
for Charles to learn and explore.
The teacher introduced him to hidden locations in the desert
where the tall whites had established secret bases and research facilities.
He witnessed firsthand their advanced technology, their specificity
and infrastructure and their harmonious way of life.
In a way, he was becoming the teacher's friend. Wow.
Bro, this is this is all just what fucking happened in his
head when he had that one dance with that generals what like she
she asked him about the weather and then and then his family and
then she was like, I'm an engineer, I do this stuff. And
he's like, that's cool. And this is this is his what played out
in his fucking imagination.
So wordy and smart.
Yeah, man. Maybe that's what and? And he held onto it for decades.
Like he never did like one hit of like some meth or something
and just had like this whole.
He did not do meth.
You've heard the way he speaks.
This man did like I owe Oscar one time and like lived this life.
And he like imagined it for so long.
Through these experiences, Charles understanding
the tall whites deepened.
He came to appreciate their respect, their culture,
their commitment to peaceful coexistence,
and their thirst for knowledge.
He also began to see the potential for collaboration between humans and extraterrestrials as a
whole, a vision that would inspire his future work and advocacy.
He went on to do other things about like physics and alien physics and stuff.
What is alien physics?
I didn't get the name of his book.
What are those?
They've got their own reality that they work on.
It's fine.
What's the name of it?
There's one more book he did. Not Millennial Hospitality.
That's not what he is.
I also love that this is his idea.
That's what he did, but there's another book he did as well.
Oh, Beyond Relativity, it's good to call.
This book is an expansion on hall photon theory,
first presented in 1998, own theory and recent observations
By Hubble support HPT and nothing has come out against it is what he says
Oh sure, and I'll just leave I'll go ahead and link you to the book if you want the paperback version on Amazon
Real quick real quick. I've forgotten that this is called millennial hospitality. This is released in 2020 by the way. He's still active
Sure. Sure. Sure. Um
Do we know why it's called what it's called? Millennial hospitality? Yeah.
Because the aliens and their hospitable nature toward him.
Yeah, and they grow to be a thousand.
Eight hundred.
Get it right.
Eight hundred is different than a thousand.
That's a big difference.
You can't just be like millennial hospitality.
I know, but that's what he did, man.
He rounded up.
To us, it's nothing.
It's nothing.
What's another hundred years?
It's a hundred years.
It's a hundred years.
It's a hundred years.
It's a hundred years.
It's a hundred years.
It's a hundred years.
It's a hundred years.
It's a hundred years. It's a hundred years. It's a hundred years. It's a hundred thousand. That's a big difference. You can't just be like millennial hospitality. I know, but that's what he did, man. He rounded up to us.
It's nothing. It's nothing.
What's what's another 100 years like we'll be dead.
Who cares? Who cares? Doesn't matter.
Yeah. And there's the book, his other book that he wrote for 2020.
Like I said, he went on to go do other things.
His own theory about photons that I did not read, I do not know.
And I maybe one day if I if we're like an episode, a thousand, I run out of topics.
I just I just love the idea that this guy is like fraternizing with this fucking alien that's being kept at a military base. Yes. And he's like, this gives me an idea.
We should collaborate with the aliens. Oh, fuck. They are actually like he's like fucking
Thomas Edison or some shit like he's like sitting there like pressing his finger to their finger and like a light happens and it like zooms out.
Like she actually would speak to him about her childhood her training as a scientist and her role as a mentor and guide to younger tall whites.
These personal anecdotes gave him a glimpse into the heart and mind of a being from another world, fostering a deeper connection between the two of them.
And as Charles' relationship with the Tiefcher deepened, she began to reveal more about the
Tall White's true purpose on Earth.
They were not mere visitors, she explained, but rather caretakers of sorts, observing
and guiding humanity's development because they saw potential in humans, but also recognized
our destructive tendencies and our capacity for self-destruction.
And they love to gamble on the side.
It's a typical message we seem to get with a lot of alien encounters where they're like,
you're ruining the earth, man, find love, live in peace and harmony, you know, that
kind of thing was basically the message. But moreover, the secondary use for Charles very
specifically is that he was told and eventually learned that he was being used to help
acclimate young child tall whites to humans because he was
so docile and so non threatening, bring children to
him and kind of have them fraternize around him as a
human to get used to other humans.
Docile. He's a genius. He's a lover.
I'm telling you that was it. That's why she started bringing children around.
She started like it was because his purpose now was to help the tall whites acclimate their young
to humanity. And he was the perfect first step to that. I'm not kidding you. That's in the fucking
book. So, you know, it's just just true He would spend two years at this place
Continuing to interact with tall whites learning more about their culture technology and so on he witnessed their advanced spacecraft
underground facilities
Remarkable abilities to manipulate energy and matter
He also learned about their complex social structure rigorous rigorous training programs, and their deep respect for knowledge and wisdom.
So the military just like lets them hang out and do their advanced technology shit and
they like him.
Yeah, it's very sitcom vibes at the book because they give some to the government as well.
Like the government gets a piece of their tech or whatever that's worth.
It's like taxis.
The teacher remained his primary contact and through these two years guiding him through
the intricacies of tall white society and helping him understand their motivations and intentions.
She kind of became his confidant,
sharing her concerns and humanity's future
and hopes for a peaceful resolution
to the challenges that everybody face.
Obviously the relationship wasn't
without its challenges either.
There were moments of tension and misunderstanding
the two as they kind of tried to learn each other's cultures.
Always left the toilet seat up.
Dude, I bet he fucking did
and that's gotta be the worst sin of all.
But after his two years were up, he would eventually end up as a temporary sign.
His temporary assignment concluded and then he would be transferred to another
base. And after that transfer,
no, that transfer that ended the government,
the government literally ended abruptly his interaction with the tall whites because after he was done
He's got moved. He never interacted with the tall white. Oh
That's so sad
It's like Romeo and Juliet, dude
Yeah, that's what I'm saying man. This guy had friends
He had tall whites that loved him and respected and thought he was smartest, most not vomiting man in the world. They know. And that is the story of Charles James Hall
and his interaction and our only deep glimpse at this version
of the supposed tall whites. And I gotta say it's fun,
but man can't write an ending. That's
the sixth book. Like there was like, no, I did not read the sixth book like that.
And he was like, and then I woke up.
There was a point where I was like, I'm in, I'm in.
I want to know where this goes.
Like, what's going to happen?
Are they going to like have a relationship?
Is this going to like, is he going to have to tell his wife?
Like, what's good? But no, they just.
And it's a great supporting cast.
Great supporting. Yeah, that's the story.
Yeah, it's just one of those where like, does the abrupt end make it more believable?
I don't fucking know.
Jesse, I know, immediately started looking something up.
I'm looking up the second book.
There's six books, so how does the sixth book end?
No, no, I just need to know what this is like.
Is this, you know, like when movie one ends
and they don't think they're gonna get a sequel,
but then they get a sequel,
so they have to like start it up all over again?
What happens?
So he didn't speak of these encounters until the early two thousands
because he was afraid of being ridiculed and so on. But this all took place in the 1960s.
Mind you, 1965 to 1967. Yo, all right. I don't know. Obviously I only have access to so many
pages of this sequel, but the sequel opens with four nightmares come with many cares.
And then the chapters are the world we knew settling in Valentine's day,
customizing the winds shadow run the rabbit test.
There's one called the night.
The laughter stopped.
This is awesome.
He got married after all of this.
He got married when he got out of the Air Force.
What the fuck?
Oh, man.
So yeah, he wasn't going home.
Oh my god.
The second book ends with Summer's end.
The egg just cracked open.
This man is writing Game of Thrones.
This is amazing.
He's just not writing Game of Thrones.
He absolutely fucked the alien, dude.
Absolutely.
This is after he never saw them again?
And she removed it all.
He never saw them again?
Nope, that was it.
At the end of the first book.
We don't know that, that's what I'm saying.
What I understand is that the six books
are his two years of dealing with the teacher
and learning all kinds of things.
Just zoomed in?
Yeah.
Okay, it's like Harry Potter kind of.
I'm not gonna read the next five books,
I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm going to read them. So I don't know what
happens. It's a mystery. If you want to go read good luck. It's a tough to get through
because like he writes, as he may say, he's writing game of Thrones, but he lacks the
1400 pages between the six books. There was a page count. This right here says this review
on Amazon says the second book continues his story as the main
point of contact between the human race and the tall whites. It's just two years. Like
I said, I think it's his two years while he's talking to the tall whites as the main point
of contact. Yes. He's the only one that's all whites can be around because he's that cool,
calm and collected and genius and smart. Who the fuck is negotiating these deals where they
sell them land and give them underground tunnels and shit. Well, he's the only one that can be around the children. Okay. I became
like a tall white nanny. This is incredible. Yeah. You want to read them? Go ahead. They're
not expensive. What do you mean? Not expensive. It's 33 bucks for the hard cover for millennial
hospitality. Three. Oh, good Lord. I just bought the Kindle version for five bucks.
Hardcover there is apparently, apparently um across all the books
millennial hospital readability and content very high thumbs up however
repetitiveness and authenticity are very low yeah people are not sure if you want
to come back for an episode to a fucking read more of these books but if not fuck
the rest of these fucking books I'm I will come back for every time you want
to talk about this guy because I'm so,
I'm so invested in range for Harry. I'm so invested in his fucking alien
mistress. Like this is awesome. And the,
I want to range for Harry video game. I want to range for Harry comic. I want to rain for Harry movie action platformer range for Harry. No,
I can't fund shit, but I'll say shit out of it.
So I had to look up why it was called millennial hospitality because I'm going to let you know
I did not believe you when you told me that was a literally says millennial hospitality
is a series of etiquette books for the 21st century.
It suggests how we might interact with aliens and answers questions the readers had.
Like I said, him talking to the millennial and how nice they are.
That's a great premise, by the way.
I would read a book that was like,
this is an etiquette guide based on what I learned
from the aliens.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
That's what, like the pitch of the book,
because that's not really how it reads.
Like, that's rough.
By the way, this whole like framing of him
really reads to me as like, it's a Mary Sue character,
but somebody told him that the character needs to have a flaw and he can't cut his
general. He vomits. That's the flaw. His wife. Yeah, that was his wife. His wife and
his daughter were his editors.
It's false that he barfs. Yeah. So like they were like perfect in this book. You
gotta have a flaw. Stop sleeping with the other and the general's wife Jesus
Well, thank you so much Aaron for joining us in jumping on Chaluminati. I can't believe that's it. Oh, that's so disappointing That's two hours and 20 minutes of man you you fucking got your hooks in me
And then you just fucking let me go into the ocean, dude
I'm just never saw them again the end that's when I know you'll be back now imagine 250 episodes of this bullshit
Never saw them again, the end. And that's when I know you'll be back.
Now imagine 250 episodes of this bullshit.
That's why I love this fucking podcast.
It can fucking do anything.
It's like when you go to someone's house
and you leave something over
so that you can have an excuse to come back.
They have to come back and get it?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh.
When we do another one, I'll let you know, my dude.
But yeah, I very much appreciate you.
Is there anything big going on
that you wanna shout out
or where people can find you online?
I mean, I know where most people probably have our audience know where they can find you but still
What's something what's something
What's something good that people are doing range for this weekend? Yeah
After this no question
Range fours, it's a bar. I don't know. What am I watching? What am I listening to?
Are you watching anything good anime wise? I'm about to I don't know people know Indie Mouse
But I'm working on starting an anime podcast with them. So cool
We're gonna watch first, but I don't know
Go
Kiss your loved ones. Tell them how much they mean to you. That's probably the best answer. We've ever had
I'll be honest answer any of us. Yes. I've ever ever had. Period. Thank you. I'll go kiss my mama.
Very, very chill.
Thank you for joining us. We're off to go do a mini-soad for this week.
It's over at patreon.com slash jilluminaughtipod. We appreciate you. We love you. We'll see you next
week. Goodbye.
Bye.
Bye.
Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the Jilluminaughti podcast.
As always, I'm one of your hosts, Mike Martin, joined by the...
I don't know who they are!
There's two...
What?
Terrence Hill and Bud Spencer.
No!
Neo and Trinity.
No!
I don't understand, and I probably never will.
Let me just tell you right now that there's two
Leon Kennedy and Claire Redfield. I'm telling you I think he literally just looked up famous duos Cheech and Chow and has been going through the list ever since. I'm trying to dig deep
Which one of you is uh Dick Powell? Me? Your name's Jesse Cox! I want my body back
I want your luminosity
I want your luminosity Hello everybody, welcome back to the Jaluminati Podcast.
As always I'm one of your hosts Mike Marhen joined by Alex and Jesse. Like a shooting star across the sky that's actually a UFO. I'm sorry.
What did you guys think?
Wow, that was quite something.
Yeah, you really know how to wow a crowd.
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