Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 257 - Cryptids of India

Episode Date: July 21, 2024

This week the boys head across the globe to look at the bizarre number of Cryptid Tress India has. MERCH - http://www.theyetee.com/collections/chilluminati Special thanks to our sponsors this episode - All you lovely people at Patreon! HTTP://PATREON.COM/CHILLUMINATIPOD Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - http://www.youtube.com/user/superbeardbros Editor - DeanCutty http://www.twitter.com/deancutty Art Commissioned by - http://www.mollyheadycarroll.com

Hello everybody and welcome back to the Chaluminati Podcast episode 257. As always, I'm one of your hosts, Mike Martin. Today joined by the Abariman and Cow Eating Tree of LA, Jesse and Alex. Hello boys. I'm the Cow Eating Tree for sure. If one of us is a cow eating tree, that is me. I'm the Cow Eating Tree. You can be, what did you say?

Ibarri it all rhymes. Abarimon? Abarimon? Don't spoil yourself Jesse it's gonna be related to the episode I hear that tippy tapping way of curiosity. Ibarimon and a cow eating tree it sounds- Why? Why would you do?

Why am I the Abarimon? I don't like this. Is this Monster Rancher? Oh man the Abarimon looks like pain dude. You got to be like a tree thing. I get to be the a bar He must that guy looks. Oh, man. Are we about to do like a Shin Megami tensei playthrough right now? What's happening? Only if you are part of the $10,000 a month here tell you what if somebody Donates to the $10,000 tier at patreon.com slash to me on the pod the only website that you ever need to go to for any reason ever

If you want to support the children a podcast that is If somebody we're gonna change the tier again Now instead of hoaxing Mathis what we're gonna do is we're gonna if you donate $10,000 We're gonna do an entire playthrough of shin Megamiensei 5 here on the show instead of doing any episodes Are we for a long time? Only play audio only two to three hundred episodes. It's gonna be Pretty long thousand dollars. You're bargaining away. Well, but we'll let you will let you decide

Are we going? Heaven or hell let's rock or are we denying all of we going heaven or hell? Let's rock. Or are we denying all of them going down the middle? Yeah. And you can choose if you want to do the vengeance storyline or the real storyline, actually, please don't do this. I don't want to do this. It's one of the hardest video games I've ever played.

If you had the balls, you would make Alex do this. All it requires is more money than we, than we have. But I'm also going to say, I'm not stopping regular episodes, Alex. Like it's going to have to be on top of regular. We're going to come. If you want to kill the show for 10 K, everything shuts down. If you want to kill our show for 10 K, go on over to patreon.com slash. I pulled a plug on the patron. The night of like, just pull it. Tell you what,

I'll just play, uh, I'll just play a the patreon the night of like just pull it tell you what I'll just play I'll just play an antenna 64 games on my own twitch How about that ten thousand dollars perfect you guys can just come hang out to play Glover Yeah I'll make like macaroni bites and you guys can come over and sit on my couch with me and we'll play like Glover and we'll play We'll play what if we play good game now, that's the kind of punishment I like to hear. We're going to play Hybrid Heaven. That's pretty good.

Yeah. What if we play a good game? Play Mischief Makers. I got the limited run reprint of Glover with some bugs that are fixed on the cartridge. So don't worry. It's okay. What if we play something good? Mischief Makers.

I love Mischief Makers. Uh, Snowboard Kids 2. Also a great game. Uh, Beatles adventure racing. Literally any good game. Uh, like arrow gauge. You know a good game. Have you played one? Uh, NBA hang time.

And have you played any good games lately? NFL blitz 2001. All right. Now you're starting to, now you're starting to get there. Now you're now you're getting there dude. Mega man 64. All right. You're getting starting to get there. Now you're getting there, dude. Mega Man 64. All right, we're getting there. We're getting there.

Yeah. What did I say? What's the one called? Tonic Panic? Tonic Panic? Tonic Trouble. Oh. Tonic Trouble?

Oh, I can see. The joke's still going. The joke's still going, Tonic Trouble. We're in there. All right, I gotta cut in here, and completely pull away. Save us? Yeah, save it, cause I'm gonna talk about something that's not true, but not even related also Hey guys, there's a new podcast out that I'm part of. I want you guys to go check out. It's called anime cult

It's myself Dodger and Indy Mouse. So for me, it's I get to record at fuck you o'clock every so often and We talk about animes and we watch the entirety of cowboy bebop. That's the first episode. Go listen to it. You can find it anywhere on all your podcasting apps and spell really building a little family here. It's like our first, it's like our first little chillu new Chaluminati family podcast. It's very exciting. It's like a sister podcast, child Luminati, but it's spelled C V L T like chevurches, you know, yeah Like the Vavitch why is it spelled that way?

You're not Roman it Indy Mouse. He's designed it. So he's Roman blame him. He's Australian. He's weird No, I mean like you didn't have to see the strand part just weird in general. He's Romo Australian. Yeah Australian yeah He's Romano. Let's talk about the episode No, we can't let him go. We can't let Alex. We can't let Alex. What did you think about the,

what did you think about the drugs episode of cowboy Bebop? I hate the drugs. Oh, the mushroom one. Yeah, that was great. I laughed a lot. Especially when he was just in a one stair. Yeah. Walking. This man said, I hate Ed. Just want to point that out. I was going to say, I want to point that out. I, your opinion I was gonna say I point that out. I Your opinion of the episode go trash trash opinion You got to go listen to the episode, but I will say Ed ruined the spooky alien episode completely I got to get out of the show help trash trash Opinions you're not reflect the opinions of the other hosts to the chillin honey podcast. Yeah

Never have have you watched samurai Champloo yet? No list though. It is on the list I told him he has to watch space Dandy too. If we're going down this pipeline, we're going full Space Dandy. We're going directly to Space Dandy. That just popped up on my Disney Plus. I think I'm going to watch that again. I love Space Dandy. Yeah, it's a fantastic. That's a fucking good ass show. Boys, we got to get the fucking actual the actual Chiluminati episode today. All right. Are you ready? I thought we were talking about it. No, This is it now. All right. The cryptids are anime. Yeah, you're right. We are doing a cryptid episode. We are actually doing a cryptid episode specifically within the country of India. Oh, I like this. We haven't done anything like this before.

No, this one was so many. So we nowhere gonna get anywhere near. Did you say India? Covering all of them. India, yeah. I like that. Okay, alright. I'm surprised we haven't done yet. This is gonna be super fun. So, uh.

Yeah, how do we, how do we skip India? I don't know. We were, we like went around India a couple times, but. So many cool little folk, folklore tales and stuff in that culture. That's what I'm saying. Everyone's, I like to like, a lot of the time when I do these episodes, I like to find like kind of like smaller, more out of the way countries that people might not think of when they think of like cryptids and stuff and see what kind of cool

folklore they have there. But we have, but we, you know, let's do like a bigger country this time around. So one of the biggest, some say one of the biggest one of, if not the, uh, some say, Jesse, we're going to start with what you are or got stuck with the Abari man. I hate this I don't like this guy. How do we want to rate these cryptids today boys? Would I eat? Samosas with them and have a nice try. I love it. Oh, okay

Little samosas and tea. Okay. Okay. So Abari bond are a I like it. Okay. Okay. So Abarimon are a race of Himalayan humanoids with backwards feet. Okay. The name Abarimon is from the Latin prefix AB, which means at two or within. Thank you, Wikipedia. And ARIMA meaning Rocky Mountainous Country. And together it basically means mountain dweller. These guys were humanoids with backwards feet. And despite this, they were still able to run at great speeds. They lived alongside wild animals, were vicious

often themselves and any attempts at capturing them failed because they are so savage. Savage? Savage, yeah. Like Wolverine Unleashed? Kind of just feral? Yeah, except their feet are backwards. Naked humans with backwards feet with backwards feet that are straight up Farrell yep, the hill people they're said to be found in the valley of Mount Emaus Which is a place now that is with the Himalayan Mountains nowadays and for folklore around the Abarman breathed

That they only breathed air from their own valley And so if they were ever they ever left their valley they would die because the air from their own valley. And so if they were ever, they ever left their valley, they would die because the air within their valley had a special kind of quality to it, apparently, that made it possible for them to breathe any air outside of it. They just became like a Dark Souls enemy just now with that like little.

Yeah, they couldn't leave the rot. Yeah, they couldn't leave the rot, yeah. They apparently coexisted with wild animals and any endeavor capturing them was always unsuccessful because of they're so barbaric and they were also mentioned by Pliny the elder which is an like an old Roman Individual Lenny Lenny sorry plenty not Pliny Pliny PLI NY is he mostly a historian pretty much Yeah, he's like just one of those guys who wrote like a million books about whatever bullshit he wanted

Yes, exactly and it loved that era of history were mentioned in natural history Number 11 it looks like who believed them to be he believed them to believe be native to India and a tale That's also like this is also found in Aulus Gellius is in the book Attic Knights. Is that a contemporary book? Did you? Never heard of it. I was gonna say, I didn't know if anybody knows who that is, but hang on, we'll get you the-

Is that book like similar times from Pliny? Yeah, similar times of Rome. He's 125 to somewhere around 180 AD. Wow. He was a Roman author and grammarian who was probably born, but definitely was brought up in Rome. He was educated Roman author and grammarian who was probably born and but definitely was brought up in Rome He was educated in Athens after in which he returned to Rome. Oh

Australian yeah got it and his famous book. He's most famous for attic nights a compilation of notes on grammar philosophy history and to query antiquarianism Antikyrianism, you, antiques and other subjects. This is like a guy in like 125 AD and he's writing a book called basically like, yeah, apartment tales. Is that like, is that what is that what addict nights is like that? It's like, it's because yeah, it's also got it's preserving fragments of the works of many other authors who might otherwise be unknown today.

It's literally like a culmination of his favorite things. It's like a spooky little like book of odds and ends. Pretty much. It translates to Attic Knights, but the name is Noctis Atticae. Hmm. Attic Knights. Attic Knights. I never heard of it until looking this stuff up. That's just such a like a spicy name for such an old book. That's all I'm saying.

It's kind of a vibey name. Yeah. Yeah, so these guys are pretty much as feral feral humans with backwards feet who live in the valley with special air they were closing because Didn't look like it. No And because of this the totally nude they looked at every image I've seen of them. Yes. Totally swaggerly nude. Dick swang in backwards. Their legs are always, yeah, you know, their knees are always in a position. You know, I mean, I guess the artist out of politeness probably covered the dick in the drawing, but I'm just saying there's

no loin cloth or shrubbery in the way we're talking raw raw dogs raw dog correct correct that's right man and that's about it they're like they're number one for a reason not too too much about them other than they they're all dead now they they all died somewhere in the vast history of it all but there's no known reason as to why they're all dead now There's all dead now for some reason Did you see I'm gonna show you one picture that I got but I don't know if you've you probably googled and found your own But I really enjoyed this picture in particular. So I saved it. Yeah, so how do you pronounce that? Yeah, so calm giazzo. I use a giazzo Yeah, so like yeah, so oh

I mean, there's many people. Yeah, it's just the dude who has reverse feet and that's who that's who Mathis said I was like quah a man who's a man My lower of his body is just turn the other way that ass that's quah. I Is quah you're right. That's fucking a picture of the dude from quah right there Yeah, Jesse you were left with him. Alex quickly took the cow eating tree. Oh, I'm aware. I had no choice in the matter. Okay. What's a tree? What's r slash trees?

R slash trees is a place to. Talk about trees. I don't think so. I don't think so. Right. It's not. And then I love cows. I love eating them. So like, right? I get. Oh, I see what you're I see what you did there. Yeah, I connected Yeah, that's cuz I have some trees in me. It just took me a minute. I feel like I have a chaotic energy today

I don't know what it is. It's it's all that you know the marriage is close, man People I think I just like I feel like I just ate like too big of a sucker for a little kid and now it's like Coursing through my veins in reality if you take the $10,000 to your joint or patronage to help Alex pay for his wedding. Oh my God, please just give me money. Pay me. Send me, send me money to my PayPal for my wedding. Please. Holy shit. Okay. I see any at gmail.com. This is not a, this is not a drill. No, no, we're here. You gotta, we gotta profit off of your stress. Yeah. Yeah. Alex, we have to pro wits. This is a wee project. Yeah. Yeah. Alex, we have to pro. This is a wee project.

Not a you. I'm getting married. This is a wee getting married. Yeah. Okay. Well, one third of the proceeds from the Alex Jesse, we should stand right next to him. We should stand right next to him at the altar. Like this arms around me.

Yeah. Arms around each other. We got married. If you want us all three to get married instead of me and Kelly, yeah $10,000 patreon.com All right, boys, you gotta rank these boys. Would you get zero don't want to run into this guy? You wouldn't have some chai tea. I don't think this guy would sit down and have the tea I think he would beat me to death with his fucking elongated legs and arms I do I do have questions based on the image you sent us. It's like the people

who tried to go to the island of cannibals and then were surprised they got killed and eaten by cannibals. I must stress based on the image you sent us which way do you think this guy's walking? Because it looks like he's walking the other way but the motion lines make it look like he's walking backwards towards us and if that's the case, wouldn't it be easier to escape or fight him? Cause he's moving slow. His knees, like it's weird because like, it kind of looks like me. Maybe like, it's like if you and Crendor like put both of your torsos on top of each other and then cut your feet off and one of your legs was one of the legs and one

like the other one was the other leg. It looks like shit man. This guy looks like quah. Dude, am I you are the quah. Is it like Star Wars acolyte? Am I the when crendor decided to get buff? Am I the other part of him that vibrated into existence? The part that's unhealthy and smokes weed and does dumb shit.

He got all Jim healthy and I like anti-tolera part of him. I like that. Yeah, that sounds correct. Yes. Is that what I am? I like that. So I believe so. All right.

So both not not going to have a drink. You are that. Yeah. You know, that's right. I'll take it. Thanks. You are that. Thank you.

Not going to have a drink. No. OK. You're not going to have a drink of tea. No, this guy. Yeah, I'm a zero. Yeah. Yeah. OK. No. Okay. You're not going to have a drink of tea? No, this guy. Uh, yeah, I'm a zero. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Cool. Okay. I would, I would, man, I'm not like a three because I want to, I'd want to give him a shot, but I wouldn't know if he's really like paying attention to the conversation. You always seem like

you want to get out of the room. It's just certain death. I feel like you'd be kind of an asshole. You feel like he's got one foot out the door at all times? Yeah, I don't like that. Which way are you? Oh, give me some respect, you know? Are you coming or are you going? And then he starts hissing and growling at you. Yeah.

All right, well, let's move on to our next one. Giant Indian bipedal lizards. They have their own version of lizard men, except they're not lizard men at all. They're actually the, like those tiny little agame brown lizards that when they run, they run on their back feet, except those like, but nine feet tall. Whoa. Okay. So this seems awesome. So like literally just picture an actual little lizard guy who, you know, you,

I'll get you a picture of, of one. This guy, this seems awesome to me. Like I, like I'm just in my imagination without the picture already. I'm into this I am too. We're good. We're on the board. We're on the board at the very least. We're on the board We have a score potential. Okay, so I'm sending you a link right now these guys but like nine feet tall what? You know what? I'm gonna I don't even know anything about this guy five already tall. What? You know what? I'm going to, I don't even need to know anything about this guy. Five. Already he, I want to sit down. I want to have like a Vindaloo with this man, spice them out a little bit. Yeah. Be like, what's up my man? I know kill them and skin them. Make a million dollars. Beautiful. Beautiful scales. I'll make a beautiful pair of shoes or a bag.

Whoa. Whoa. Just, I'm just, it's a beautiful lizard. I'm just saying it's a it's a great lizard. I want to talk to him. You want to skin him alive. You know, we don't you don't know how it's going to go like we'll have the samosa. And then like we'll see about his countenance. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. Sure. Well, wait, so you won't have you won't have a drink with the crazy wild men. But you will have a drink with a wild nine foot lizard who will also likely just attack you. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wild nine foot lizard who will also likely just attack you Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You haven't said anything about that yet. It's uh, yeah, I didn't know You're saying just cuz it's a lizard. It's gonna attack us, bro. Yes, so what you're saying

I what I said, I said, it's like one of those little lizards just big it's just a big little lizard Right and that little lizard I've never never wanted men are more threatening to me than little lizards I'm gonna say little lizards has got to be a 90s movie in some 90s alternate universe big little lizards Definitely is one of those movies where you think the lizards gonna be the bad guy But then it's man who's the bad guy broke the military industrial complex was the bad guy the entire time This guy was like I was just trying to warn you My wife's pregnant with lizards Eggs in his house.

So this is just like a tiny little like fan throated lizard, but nine feet tall. It acts as the same temp. It's not an actual reptilian. Ours are way more sophisticated. It's just a tall lizard. It's just a nine foot tall wild lizard. Oh, then I would eat the samosas behind the glass, watching him in his cage in the, uh, prison. I mean, zoo that we put him in. What's the, what's the name of the regular lizard fan throated lizard cause it's got like that frills on its neck. Okay. So let's see what this thing, let's see what this thing's deal is then hold on. Satana Ponta seriana, right?

Yep. Pondicherry my biology degree that I definitely, definitely have says, yep, that's right. You said that like you meant it too. Yup. Yup. Yup. Yup. See, my problem is I can't go through with the lie. I just immediately give it away. No, we're aware. Trying to find like any, anything about its behavior. I mean, if it's a little tiny baby lizard, it's not going to be attacking us wildly. So it's not a thing.

If it's not super violent, like like I'm in I'm in for the Somoza like will it take the Somoza over trying to kill me? Here's the problem I realize now that it's if it's animalistic I won't really be able to have a conversation with it, but it could be like think about it. Could I ride this? Yes, okay. I'd be like a dragon rider dude that I imagine you could do Runs it lifts its two little friend likes it just waddles on its back feet that would work They should make that a mountain Final Fantasy 14. I'm just saying it obviously it probably is Let's not let's not even pretend it probably a sitana. Yeah, are you still researching it Alex? You find what you need?

I'm just trying to find some behavior references, but I really am having a little bit of trouble They have the doula app right like the cool fan that comes out of their throat But it doesn't seem to be threatening like I think I'm good I think I wanna yeah I think I wanna dine with this guy. He probably just run around a bunch. I felt bad that I was gonna skin him originally I feel like now we just like I would just give him the samosa and we could just be we could like sit on the rock together because it's warm. Yeah alright alright I see. I feel like Jesse's better with the whole male I feel regretting to be a writer. Yeah, he doesn't have a personality. It's just like a lizard So yeah, I thought it's gonna be like one of those smart velociraptors who like, you know kind of talk like blue

Yeah, like blue from the smart, but no, it's just like a dude. No, I'm on or in Jurassic Park 3 when they're like Rex and the velociraptor actually have a conversation. Yeah. All right. Let's move into something a little bit weirder. Let's move something a little creepier. Oh, the now we're getting there. Okay. The boot B H O O T. This is a supernatural creature that's usually depicted as some sort of ghost or deceased person that in pop culture, literature and ancient texts of the Indian

Subcontinent and the interpretations of the origin of boots vary across different regions and communities But here's what you need to know about them specifically one they're shapeshifters They have the ability to alter their forms and often manifest as animals or humans and their feet are typically backwards facing similar to the aborimon Revealing and which also tends to reveal their ghostly nature. What is what is it about the I? Don't think we ever had this before their ghostly nature Maybe in Japan there was a backwards foot person, but I feel like Indy is doubling down on backwards feet. What is that about?

Maybe just you know, honestly like there's some things like that are like body horror things that are like particularly visceral to me. Sure. And turning around my limbs all the way around is one of those things that really just freaks me out. So like maybe it's just like the evilness of like a creature that would undergo, undergo that as like very wretched and scary, you know, I don't know. Right. We're all afraid of backwards feet monsters as much as I am. Right. We all. Oh, look, I'm with you on this. I just think it's very bizarre. There's like a

very, again, it could be that culturally something about like backwards feet is very like creepy to people. Yeah. Just like, you know, how we get weirded out in movies when a girl lays like backwards and crawls and shit. That could, it could be the same vibe. I don't know. Yeah. We were just like, ah, yeah, exactly. Like, uh, when Megan does that little Megan dance. Yeah. Megan dance. I haven't even seen that movie. And I know what you're talking about. That thing was everywhere. That's how you know, it's huge is Mathis just absorbed it through osmosis. Yeah. Yeah. That's how you know, you didn is Mathis just absorbed it through osmosis. Yeah, yeah.

That's how you know. You didn't even watch that shit. It worked. It worked. Okay. Other things to know about them. They will not make contact with the ground. Usually they float above it, sometimes up to a foot over the earth itself.

That's handy. And it's usually just in terms of the reasons. It's because the earth is usually considered sacred and sacred in many Indian traditions. So them not being able to touch the earth representative of their wicked, their wicked nature. They also don't cast any shadows and they speak with a nasally twang. Like, hi. I guess I can touch the earth. Yeah, I guess. Hey, I can't touch the earth. Yeah, you have a problem. I'm too wicked to touch the earth. Do you think it's do you think it's the earth or them that's

doing the floating? Like, like, is it because like a magnet, the earth is so gross, grossed out that they're like, get off or are they like, no, we don't touch that. We don't do it. We don't touch. I wonder if they touched it. They would be destroyed. So they choose not to touch it. That's a good question. Yeah. I don't know. That would be, that'd be my, my guess. Uh, other than not being able to touch the ground, um, and having a shadow and speaking in nasally twang, they are almost always depicted wearing white clothing.

They have like a fashion sense. I guess. They almost always wear white. They also- They make these clothes for themselves? I don't know. I think they steal them. What? Okay. You know, only white clothes. Laundry's outside to dry.

They have like an MO. They scoop in, they take the laundry and they leave. They're like red? No. Like green? No thanks. White? I'm taking this one. I'm taking that's good. There's never a day where white doesn't look good. No, no, no. I think I'm I'm taking this one. I'm taking that's good. There's never a day where white doesn't look good. No, no, I'm, I think I'm going white on this one.

I want white. And then that stuck for eternity. I can't touch the ground. I want white. Uh, they also are kind of like Homelander in that they like love milk. Sure. I mean, who doesn't? They will seek out cows, consume milk.

That's not my first thought of, of Homelander, but I love that. That's what I think of Homelander, I think of milk, 100%. That's what I do. I do. I'm sorry. Chug, chug, chug, chugging milk. Actually, they did shoot that like super, super weird. And that was also like only an episode or two ago recently when that happened.

So other than that, if you drink the milk that they drank from, it also can lead to possession. I mean, obviously. Ha ha, you drank my milk. Now I control you. Have you seen my white shirt? Now I control you. They also have a terrifying, their fear of water and iron, like a lot of other mythological

creatures is another like keeps them away, destroys them. Invoking the name of holy figures also tends to ward them off. And there's a specific type of boot is known as the charail, which is the ghost of a woman who died during pregnancy or during childbirth. And charails often attempt to lure men to their doom and can change forms at will, also shape shifting.

Lure them to their doom? Yeah, I imagine like, come here, oh, come in the water,, float one foot above the water. Yeah, exactly. I don't, I don't. If I touch water, I'll die. Come here. Yeah. So that's kind of all you need to know about physically and what they do. There are ways to get rid of them. According to Hindu mythology, boots are souls of the deceased and they cannot be destroyed but can be appeased through rituals Hindu exorcists perform rituals such as atma shanti derived from the Thara Vita to pacify boots and assure them that their desires will be fulfilled

Allowing them to move on from haunting the living so yeah there. Yeah, that's that's boots. Thank you. I'm leaving Uh, so yeah, they're, yeah, that's, that's boots. Thank you. I'm leaving. Imagine a boat. One of the float away now just cause I'm always floating. I imagine like the pregnant ones though, would be hard to kind of fulfill their desires since, you know, they died during childbirth. They want a child.

So I don't know what you do about them, but would you get food and some chai with them? One hundred percent. So I don't know what you do about them, but would you get food in some chai with them? One hundred percent. Like the fact that I can dissipate this creature at any time if I want. That's a big win. Yeah. Yeah.

That's chill. And it's like too funny. Oh, when is that? Is it Mosa? Can you pass it up here? I actually can't. I don't know if you noticed, but I can't touch the ground because I'm too wicked. Okay.

I love that, I guess. Look at me. I'm wicked. So is it just a straight yes or no? Usually we do numbers, but like, are we going straight yes or no on this one? Burger King foot lettuce. I'm going to go, I'm going to go like three because there is obviously like a creepiness to it and the character that I'm doing is pretty annoying, you know?

And if that's like what I'm bringing to life right now, like I don't want to hang out with that guy for more than like a few lines. If you're a little joke, this is a no for me. I only wear white. A, I only wear white and B, I float at least one foot above the ground because I am too wicked. That's all I know. Plus white.

Sometimes you're going to get Indian food on your clothes, dude. White. I don't think that guy's going to be like, I'm very picky about what I in India, we call it food. Yeah. I hate that. I hate this character. We're moving on. Uh, okay. Now we didn't make the character. Do you hate me just because I float one foot above the ground? Is that why? Is it cause I'm too wicked? What are you trying to say? You're too wicked. I wouldn't get a drink with this thing. No, no way in hell. I'm like a three because I would want to see it, but I feel safe because I can like say some shit and it goes away. It can be like, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ. And like, ah, like I like that. Okay. We're moving on to a new, another one.

We're getting a little even even weirder with the Wok Wok. The Wok Wok is a giant tree that bears humanoid fruit in Indo-Persian lore. Out. No thank you. Hang on, you don't maybe know. Hang on, I might even have an argument for you too, all right? Okay, okay. The Wok Wok is a Persian oracular tree originating from India whose branches or

fruits become heads of men, women or monstrous animals, depending on the version of the story you're getting. All screaming walk walk, which means which means like us. It's a scream in Persian like it's like an exclamation in Persian.

It's it's apparently very common in a lot of Persian tales. Early sightings, Alexander had Alexander the Great's encounter with the Indian tree of the Sun and the Moon is considered the first Wok Wok account. However, the term Wok Wok tree is first mentioned by the Chinese Taohuan captured at Talus in 751 in a report called to Wang Tien It tells how the Arab navigators discovered this tree that grew little children who die once they're detached from the tree So that's why it's fucked up. It's so fucked up It's so fuck. Do you think that the first guy read the second guy like the second guy read the first guy? I don't know man. What a fucked up idea for like it's like another like very dark souls like fucked up idea. It's fucking wild. And they all say walk walk. They go what they scream it

They're screaming walk walk the whole time. So so let me ask you a question like it I know you're maybe not the guy to ask right? Yeah, definitely not but like if you had to Translate walk walk into an exclamation in English just so I can get a better picture of what kind of vibe sure as you would you would need it are they like are they like yeah dude are they like fuck or are they you know are they like are they like oh like you know like what kind of exclamation is it I would take a guess that it's like one of like pain, maybe. Oh, yeah. Like why walk? Yeah, I'm looking, I'm trying to find like an even more definitive.

That's why Pac Man says it when he dies. Oh, it's sad. It's sad when he dies like that. That's so good. Screaming, which they say it means screams in Persian. I don't know what the fuck that means. Like I genuinely am trying to figure out what that means. But I can't, I don't have an answer for you.

How do you spell it? W a Q dash W a Q. A mythical island that appears in philosophical, a metaphor for paradise and untouched land. Wow. There's a lot of like, it's an island. Yeah. But you can see some pictures of it too. The name of God, the name of God in the traditional religion of the Cushedic people walk or walk, huh? So, uh, we have another man, maybe this will clarify it a little bit. In 859 AD, the Basriian writer Yahiz described this tree as populated with both animals and women hanging by their hair.

The legend of the walk walk tree became widely known from the 10th century on in the wonders literature such as the Book of Wonders of India, where travelers and navigators claim to have seen strange things. And here's a quote saying Mohammed bin Babiqad told me from what he had heard from one of those who went to walk, walk that there were large trees, sometimes with elongated rounded leaves that bear fruit like squash, but bigger that have a human face. When the wind stirs the leaves, When the wind stirs the leaves,

when the wind stirs the leaves, a voice comes out and the insides fill with air, like the pods of the milkweed. If they are detached from the tree, the air escapes at once and they become flat and flabby like a piece of skin. Like it's fault, no matter what description I find of these things, they're all fucking weird and all fucked up.

It feels so specific. Right? Which is so weird about it. Like I don't there's no like tree with people. I mean, there's other things similar, like the Mandrake, right? Like the Mandrake route. Yeah. You get the Mandrake route, which we've talked about. This is like they say something in like the like the dialect of the time and people that live there. And it implies like almost, maybe not sentience,

but like intelligence of some kind. Yeah. It's creepy. It also comes up another time that I have from Ajayib Nameh of Tusi Salamani in 1388, who also claimed to have seen the tree in the book of curiosities. However, he gave a very different description

and wrote that the tree was decorated symmetrically with the heads of human females, birds, horses, ducks, monkeys, hares, foxes, cocks, and rams. And I imagine he means roosters. It supposedly ate these animals and their heads bloomed from the branches like flowers. So like the tree ate these things and then their heads of whatever it ate were like Blossomed on the tree so another fucked up description. That's different from the correct other two Fucked up descriptions. However, when it comes to having a drink of chai and some samosas with this thing, I'd argue Infinite potential for conversation. I mean pretty predictable conversation true

Here's what I also say. If you played the new Prince of Persia game, whack, whack trees are everywhere in that game. Really? And they have little heads that talk to you and they're like, hello, are they? What are you doing here? My. Okay. So they fully, they fully speak in Prince of Persia, at least. Um, but that's a video game and not real life. So I imagine if all they say is whack, whack, that'd be annoying. If it's just a bunch of heads going whack, whack, whack, whack, I'm out. I'm out. Am I in danger? Am I in danger? Okay. I mean in one of the versions, the tree eats the thing. So you have a one third chance of being in danger. Can it move? No. So I can just run. Yes. I'm in. I'm a four.

You're four. Even if you scream whack, whack, whack, whack. I just got to sit like, how fucking weird would that be? Like I don't, it doesn't seem that threatening. It would just be like scary and psychedelic. You know what I mean? Like fucking weird. You can befriend them. You can start throwing like samosas at them to try and get into one of their mouths and they'll like start whack, whacking for food. How badly do I want a samosa is another question, right? Right. Like how badly do I want a samosa? Very good question. Right now.

Very badly. I haven't eaten almost anything. Oh yeah. You're making a trader Joe's little Mambino pepperoni pizza for one. What? This is the way you delivered a little bit of me. No pizza for one. Just such earnestness behind it all. It was just fed with like, you almost like lust for another taste of it. Hey, do you love, do you love, raise your, okay. This is for all the listeners.

I love Frazier. Shoutouts, go over to Patreon.com slash TumulatiPod. Join as a free member even if you want and just let us know if you vibe with the little bambino pepperoni at Trader Joe's, because that's, that's four pizzas in pizzas in a pack frozen pizzas personal pizzas. That's a good deal. That's not a brand deal That's just an Alex mean sounds delicious anything sounds good cuz I haven't eaten all day either now You just like talking about food is making me goddamn hungry Consider the little bambino Alright consider it. Hey

Consider that bambino dude. It's a little bambino Think think I'm thinking bambino you're thinking that Bambino, dude. It's a little Bambino. Think, think, I'm thinking Bambino. You thinking little Bambino? Guys, I'm thinking Bambino. Vanara. These are, the Vanara popularly refers to a group of monkey-like humanoids in the Hindu Buddhist epic the Ramayana, who were brave and inquisitive by nature. The term Vanara can be described as forest dweller and the epic Mahabharata describes them as forest dwelling.

The Sanskrit Pali epics of Southeast Asia mention several exotic creatures including ape-like humanoids. Some Indians see this as a proof of the historicalness of their mythological characters and as support for the prehistoric hominids in their text. The Ramayana, sorry, speaks of the Vanaras and ape-like species with human intelligence that existed millions of years ago. So we're talking Bigfoot.

Cuter Bigfoot though, like cuter Bigfoot. Cuter Bigfoot? Yeah, I'm gonna send you pictures here in a second, don't worry. Of just a cuter Bigfoot? Like Donkey Kongr. Kind of Donkey Kong jr. Ask yes actually a little closer of a Like a little sweetie boy monkey. Yeah, sweet little sweet boy monkey I'll get you the picture right now since you want to see the little sweetie boy monkey

And you can't tell me this thing doesn't look kind of just adorable. Okay, this guy just looks like yeah, this guy's awesome look kind of just adorable. Okay. This guy just looks like, yeah, this guy's awesome. I told you, yeah, it's like he's got a necklace on, which is pretty bad ass. He just looks like a little monkey child. He's just like, uh, the little kid from Jumanji, but just like, don't take this the wrong way, but it's like if he didn't have clothes on, but like not in a real way, he's just a line drawing. He's just like more monkey than man and he's out and about and he's got a little necklace on it. I mean, it's true. And according to the Roman, yeah, they existed along man.

He's right. They, they existed alongside modern humans. They existed, it coexisted with us. So we were already their friends. This is like 10 out of 10. I definitely have a samosa. Do you think this is just real? You know what?

Do you think this is just real? Maybe. How like millions of years ago is supposed to be right. I definitely have a samosa. Do you think this is just real? You know what? Do you think this is just real? Maybe? How like millions of years ago is supposed to be, right? Supposedly millions of years ago. So like doesn't that kind of sync up with like when we, wasn't there like a time when we like split off and like we almost died and there was like a couple? Are modern humans only like 300,000 years old? Yeah, but he's a monkey.

Yeah, but they're saying they existed alongside modern humans as well, you know Oh modern humans. Yeah. Yeah, okay, but that's what I'm saying Like we but he's a split off and some of the monkeys became humans and some of the monkeys continue to be quite a droid bookish monkeys who like jewelry Yeah, right fair enough like like dinotopia but like monkey topia like But like like Planet of the Apes, but like not a planet. Just like, well, an area of the apes, an area of the apes. Fucking phenomenal. Right. Yeah, I guess so. You're not wrong. Do they have houses?

Do they have government? Yeah, they had like I don't know if they had government. All right. Don't let's not. I'm not I'm not that sure if they had government or Yeah, they had like, I don't know if they had government. All right. Don't aside. I'm not. I'm not that sure if they had government or not, but, um, they definitely seem to have like houses and dwellings and, you know, we're pretty advanced, I suppose, for millions of years ago. Um, but sticking in the monkey cryptozoology, there is a version of Bigfoot for that area. Um,

most, most seen in Thailand, but also in India occasionally. There's a picture of it. I love this thing. Okay. This thing is the Batutut or Ujit. Okay. Sometimes known as Forest People, a proposed hominid reported similarly to Bigfoot, thought to inhabit the

Vu Quang Nature Reserve and other wilderness areas of Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, Northern Borneo and others. This thing's putting the fear in me a little more. This one's got a little bit more. Some ape anger. This has got the like, rip your face off monkey anger. Yeah. Red Hulk Bigfoot.

Yeah. You know what? I like it though. You're talking shit cause he just looks like, I mean like, be real, be real. You put a Hawaiian shirt on this dude that's just Alex that's what it's like when I get out of the shower there that's me from from the where's my green towel babe my towel the green one

of the brown one so you're getting so we already know you're getting you're getting chai and samosas with the Venara But what about the batu toot? Oh, yeah one I get it with Alex any day If it's just like Alex, I think I'm a little scared like even if it's me like you replaced you should even if it's me That's a doppelganger But like I think it's just a big mean monkey that's gonna beat the shit out of me I think looks like he literally looks like he's like one of those gorillas at a zoo who's Fucking fed up being in a zoo and just wants to hit something really hard

That's what he looks like. He's ready fucking just ready to fucking murder whoever he looks at so yes, but no for you Alex This is a no the big guy no no the little guy a thousand times yes, okay Oh, but it's a yes for Jesse. Yeah. Are you kidding me? Big yes. Strong yes. Moving on to the next one. Sinocephaly, which is almost sounds like to me like a scientific definition of what this thing is, but it's, you know, as his actual name, just because the word sounds like science in the way it ends, like the safali part. I don't know. It's not about it. There's a picture of it. Sinocephaly sounds like the safali part. I don't know something about it There's a picture of a sign of safali sounds like the first and last name of a guy that Han Solo owes money to Yeah, he yeah the sign of safali

Existing mythology not only just in India, but Europe and China. Okay, I can get behind I can get behind this motherfucker 1000% he looks like a poet like me. He looks like a poet and lover. It's a He looks like a poet like me. He looks like a poet and lover. Look at him. Oh, and a lover. He's smelling a flower and his dick is like red. He's like, you know, he's a red. That's a red flag.

I don't know if that's a dick, dude. I'm a little, I'm a little, you're just, I feel like you're just printing on this guy. I mean, printing just because I want to be like sort of like a, like a poetic beast of the woods who walks naked through and sniffs. Yes. The way you describe it, it sounds like you do. Look at it. I'm looking at it. Sort of like a poetic beast of the woods who walks naked through and sniffs. Yes, the way you describe it, it sounds like you do. Look at it. I'm looking at it.

Imagine you have that. I'm looking, dude. I'm looking. Imagine you got that, you reach down, you pick up a little chicken leg. You do it like a cartoon cat where you just put it in your mouth and you pull it out. It's just a bone now because you got the snout of this guy. Like I don't know, like this, I want to be this. I don't know, man.

I don't know if I want to be this or be around it, but. Well, I guess I didn't know. I don't know, like, I want to be this. I don't know, man. I don't know if I want to be this or be around it, but, uh. Well, I guess I didn't know. I don't know what it does yet. Well, let's, let's get to it. The legend of this thing began placing the Cynosophila in unexplored regions of like India and China. And in Europe, they were described as dog headed people, sometimes as dog headed, hairy sometimes as dog headed hairy giants

that have something in common with like other hairy humanoid legends and in the legends from India and China, they were described as shape shifters who could change from human to dog, but always retained some animalistic features when they became human again. So that's what they were like. This is great. And they're fully human intelligent.

Yes. As far as it's, it's shown here. And they don't seem to have any like malintent. They're not there to trick you and pull you into the forest and whatnot. Just another race. Yeah. And sometimes, sometimes there's accounts that they're half baboon or monkeys with dog-like snouts as well, like monkey versions of the seno, seno, sephali.

Instead of that sounds like more like me. Yeah, you know, half baboon, half dog. Yeah. And according to some, some of the people who were writing about them, whole races of people were deliberately killed because they weren't human. So like these people don't need these things don't exist anymore because they were just wiped out. They're not many sightings of the creatures today. Most cryptozoologists don't even really like look into them anymore. And that's really all we know. We don't really

have much more about them other than I just love the piece of art about it. And I'm like, we got to talk about this thing. And I don't know, he almost- Five out of five, simosis. Done. Five out of five, simosis? Can't even, can't even front, can't even front. Five out of five,amosas can't even can't even front can't even front five out of five samosas. I might have two samosas. I mean, we'll see what happens.

We'll see where it leads us. Yeah, that's all I'm saying. Okay. Both of you would get it with that. Okay. Are you ready for another weird tree? Wait, what about you? Oh, I should be answering this thing.

Uh, I'm going to go with no. I feel like just being in his presence would creep me out I'd feel uncomfortable when a lightning round the last couple you want a lightning round the last couple a little quick Yes, no. Yes. No on the samosas for the other guys that you didn't get. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Absolutely little monkey man. Yes, big monkey man. I don't want to die. I'm not gonna have Nothing. Yes, the walk walk tree. I'd give it a shot. I truly would just give it a see. See, because, you know, the legends are all different.

Maybe we'll get one that like actually can have conversation. The lizard or maybe you'll get one that's like a British tar. God, that would be amazing. I with the giant lizard, only if Jesse's there, because I think it would try and eat me and think it maybe out here would think I'm like a bug or something. It would just try and eat me. So if Jesse's going to try and ride it, I'll feel safer.

Yeah. You want them to try and break it like a stallion in your presence? Damn right. I would. I'll be like, I'll be like your squire. And then if you die, that's great. I become the night, but I run away. Whoa.

Anyway, onto the next one. Good to know, I guess. The Jemenju or the Nemenju is another tree that... Jumanji. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. That's a great movie. I didn't see the new one, though. That's OK.

There's two of them. Oh, my God. They made another one? Yeah. Oh, I feel like I should have known that. The second one came out like I'm gonna guess Five years ago. I get on by the first new one kind of good. I actually enjoyed it. It was fine It was fine. It felt like it was made in 1998, but it was fine and the second Jumanji movie came out

Yeah, no, it doesn't feel of the time but like I was like, oh, it's a cute little look back at video games That's cute. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we're old now. Okay. Yeah, Jumanji. The next level is five years old This that's the second one Jumanji welcome to the jungle. The first one is from 2017 right so it's actually seven years and makes me sad Do you mend you? Holy, this is another tree with human faces here is I don't know why they love it so much But there's a picture. It's scary as fuck. It's in Mortal Kombat, bro.

It's scary. Yep. But this is different than the other ones in that. Oh no. It's not pleasant. This is different than the other one in that it grows a fruit and it has like a human child face to it, but the fruit eventually ripen. They fall off the tree.

And if eaten, the fruit has like a sweet sour taste apparently and in the past it was said that people planted great orchards of these trees and they were laughing like they were they would be orchards of laughing Jemenju trees that they would harvest the fruit from because the trees would be human-faced and they'd be laughing and giggling and like all that other shit like you ate're like, you ate our shit fruit. Yeah. The fruit is just their waste. They just get rid of it. Yeah. Oh my God. It's, it's horrifying, but just another tree with a human face theme. I wanted to put out there. Uh, this is one where I would say no.

Personally, the Wacaw was seemed fun. This is scary. This is not what I want. This is scary. I don't what I want. This is scary. I don't want to run into it. I don't want to see a laughing tree. No, no thank you. I'm good. One time I was in Canada and I went to this like magical light walk thing.

And there was this part where we like sat on this bench while these like trees were like, and it was like the weirdest thing that I've ever experienced. And it was like the weirdest thing that I've ever experienced and I was completely sober and I was just so vibed out by it. I do not want to run into that and know that it's real. No, thanks. No samosa is worth this.

No samosa is worth this. We're down to our last three, gentlemen. As we round out, we got some weird ones coming up but my the next one's kind of another one that is we have a picture we have a tiny little bit about it and that's about it. It's just a horrifying picture and this will be the last one we have little to we have little knowledge about. Horrifying picture. Yeah here it comes it's just weird I just don't like the sassy look the monster has on its face. Is that really what it's about? Just the sassy look

You're like, you know what? No sassy. Look, it's a little sassy. It creeps me out. It creeps me out. There you go. Oh See this thing looks misshapen and Right grows kind of a little bit even the left side and the right side don't look the same. And it's fucked up that it has human hands in the front and animal hands in the back. Yeah. It's fucking weird. It all seems to be hunted in the moment. Like it's being hunted. It's being hunted in the picture. It's like, kind of like, it's kind of like, I'm fine. It's kind of like, I'll be all right.

This is the Thanok or Tanok depending on how you want to pronounce it. Uh, cause it can be both ways apparently. And this was reported in 16th century by locals and some European travelers and they described this thing as a tailless tiger-like creature that is covered in a tawny fur features a human-like looking face with long red hair and it also has a snubbed nose is covered in black fur and has tiger like back

paws so there's that like more of that kind of animalistic tiger part to it and a french explorer andre thavey claimed to have seen it uh when he was exploring in the 16th century that's it that's yeah that's it there you go bam that's all you get based on this drawing i it's too scary the human face is too uncanny for me. It's really weird. The face is simply too uncanny and the skin, I'm not clear on what it is. It looks like it's covered in nipples.

In the picture, it kinda does. I'm not joking. Yeah, it looks like it may be covered in nipples. It might have nipple coverage. I'm just saying, it may may be covered in nipples. It might have nipple coverage I'm just saying it may be completely covered in nipples I'm a no to 100% no way. Yeah. No this sucks. Yeah. Yeah. All right a lot of these suck I'm not gonna be honest. I thought a lot of them be cool dudes, but I feel like most of them are like I don't know weird body horror monstrosity. Yes. They're very body horror

Which brings us to our second to last one. This is the cow eating tree that I mentioned earlier. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The cow eating tree is, uh, look, I'm going to show you, this is an ancient fucking, uh, art depicting this thing. And holy crap, it is wild looking. Um, links coming right now. This is the one that I immediately claimed as myself. There it is.

There's also bacon also eat people. So we that's what yeah, that's the word on the street was so this let's see. There was a book. Oh shit. Okay. Yeah, dude. It's it's this is messed up.

Really fucking I hate this thing. I also I don't like what's happening to the people on the ground more than anything. Well, I got a picture for you in a sec. I mean a video for you in a second too. It's hello. No, no, no, no, it's not. It's not gross. It's just funny. So basically this isn't technically crypto zoology. This is something I didn't even know existed, which is crypto botany. Uh, well all these weird plants, um, and there is a crypto botanist and zoologist who point,

who kind of claims and talks about having acquired several varieties of carnivorous plants after reading about them in Darwin's book and read about all this stuff and wanted to find more. And then he came across the Pili Mara, which is the cow eating tree. And there's a video of a village from the 90s who supposedly found a Cow eating tree and what it does is it if you're close enough to it it will lower its branches down and like pin you to the ground and slowly drag you to it so that it can get its branches and it's like roots around you and then it'll slowly like just

Kill you and like physically feed off of you And she it's really really weird. I'm gonna get the sounds like scavengers rain It's like absolutely fucked up. There's a little there's a local news coverage of one I they're surrounding they're literally around the tree in the video. I'm getting you the link now and the tree in the video I'm getting you the link now and the music that they play is amazing I should have it starting at the 35 second mark for you already okay let's see what the fuck You can't see me, but it's a bop. And that little thing that's around it is the cat-eating tree. Why is it like a fucking like...

It sounds like the music is playing in the background of like... Dragon Quest. I was going to say more like a Yakuza game, but... Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. The vibe is way off Like like speed racer like the old show So there's a bizarre report from India in October 2007 that seemingly confirmed the belief of many villagers in the existence of this hold on it's getting wild hold on it's getting wilder

it's like And there's like a tuba like I'm gonna send Dean the link to the video so I don't forget right now because he can sample some of that music Sounds like Godzilla's like Doing like his little moves Dude, I'm like I'm across this video with such treat this video is such a treat when I found it I did not go the whole seven minutes. I don't know how wild the music gets but that's that's great So you oh?

There's like suspense music dude Dude go to like 315 All right, let me know when you're good, Alex. This is, this entire thing is like just a treat. Just a treat. I told you! It's so good. It's so good.

Dude. Alright. So, yes, there was a report in October of 2007 that seemingly confirmed the belief of many of the local villagers in the area of the existence of the Pimara, which translates to tiger tree, so called because of their desire to eat animals. On October 18th, a young lady was walking in the field area between the buildings in the village of Paterame to go to the shop about midday. When she saw an amazing sight, according to her, a tree appeared to be lifting a struggling

cow by its hindquarters from the ground. The animal's tail and hind legs were tangled in the plant's limbs, only the cow's front legs were touching the dirt. When the cow pulled itself forward to escape, the tree appeared to respond by pulling the animal back and tightening its grip. The young lady ran for help and soon the tree's branches were being cut by a local farmer, but the tenacious plant did not release its grip on the cow until the whole tree itself was cut down.

As news teams arrived weeks later, in interviews, the villagers stated that the cows had come back from grazing in the past several months with injuries often in their hindquarters and tails, so they had suspected something was wrong. Another such tree in the area had been identified as a Pili Mara 30 years earlier. Sorry, dogs. Another tree was found in the area had been identified as a Pili Mara 30 years earlier when it had grabbed a bull belonging to a local villager

who explained to the reporters that they saved the animal by cutting the branches from the tree. The same villager explained that these tiger trees can be calmed or killed by piercing them with iron, but the trees are difficult to identify as several different species have been called Pili Mara. So it seems that rather than being a particular species of plant, the name is more of a description of an individual plant's behavior.

People sort of like freak out when they see something like this and they say, it's that. It's Pili Mara. Exactly that. Exactly that. The question is like, did the cows it's a Pili Mara. Exactly that. Exactly that. The question is, like, did the cows actually get pulled in by it? Because we know that there are carnivorous plants. They exist, but they usually like for insects and small birds and animals. Like, that's about it.

You know, if there's trees that can be the size of like a fucking jungle, like those like giant trees that are like one organism, I could see like one of these things like becoming like a super monster. I could see it. I guess he's face says super want the very technical term super monster, a plant that eats a cow, you know, like that's there's no plant that should be big enough to eat a cow. But if there was one that was like in the middle of the jungle, I could see it, you know, like a big version of a little plant, you know, and there are other like, as when I was researching this, you come across there are other men in like

human eating plants out there in the world. Like a Madagascar has one of a man eating tree that looks like almost like a Venus flytrap, but enormous, maybe in prehistoric times or old times, these things that were way bigger did exist and like just as things You know the the planet changed they just couldn't survive anymore who fucking knows. I don't know interesting It's a scary thought though Imagine if like that thing did exist and there are still plants out there that are feeding on like Animals that just so happen to come by that's a whore I think that's kind of grab one you're gonna like no one is ever gonna know what happened to me

No one will ever going to know what happened to me. No one will ever know how I died. I will just have gone missing and be one with the fucking tree. That's kind of badass. Also horrifying. Would you, so would you? Yeah, but it's like a magic card, you know? It's like kind of tight.

Like, I don't know. I guess would you have a lonely picnic by yourself next to this tree and feed it samosas? No, it's too risky. Yeah, no, this is, again. It's too risky. None of these seem mimosa friendly. Yeah, no, this is again, too risky. None of these seem mimosa friendly. They all see not mimosa, not mimosa, although maybe, maybe a few mimosas and we'd be good. We're all having mimosas. We're all having mimosas.

Everyone step one actually fuck that. I'm having a Bellini and then we're having some osas. Oh my goodness. I wish I was closer to you because I know we could go do that and it would be great. Let's go. Let's go get some Bellinis right now. I'll be there in, I don't know, give me like four hour flight. I got to get to the airport on top of that. I'll meet you in like Arizona. Let's go. You know, we'll just we'll meet in the middle. Perfect.

All right, boys, are you ready for the very, very last one? I am. The Aobaao Aku. This is a creature from Malay mythology and this beast lives in the steps of the Tower of Victory found in Chittor, India, from the top of which one can see, quote, the loveliest landscape in the world. Well, a secret boss, basically. Dude, kinda.

It dates on the first step, waiting for a brave enough man to climb to the tower and when it waits, it lies shapeless and translucent. When someone passes is when it awakes. Then when the man starts climbing, it follows close behind and as it goes farther, it's clearer and more colorful, giving a blue light as it ascends and when the climber reaches the top with the creature behind it. The Aobao Aku reaches perfection and achieves Nirvana, and his actions don't cast any shadows. Most of the time, man cannot reach the peak, and the creature cannot achieve perfection.

The Aobao Aku hangs back, loses color and visibility, and then tumbles down the staircase. When it reaches the bottom after tumbling down, it falls back to sleep again. Meanwhile, it gives out a small cry sounding like the rustling of silk. Its skin feels like the fuzz of the skin of a peach, and it has only reached the top once.

It appears in the book of imaginary beings initially. So this thing is literally like it tails a human and it's basically if the human is strong enough to get to the tower, the top of the tower, it, it fine. If it achieves perfection, it doesn't ever fucking like it never, never did that. However, I, this is also the last one because, uh, it's a treat for Alex. This is going to look familiar for you. How delightful. And I'm going to, the picture is going to both of you. Obviously this This is gonna look familiar for you. How delightful. And the picture is going to both of you, obviously.

This is gonna look familiar. Yep. There you go. It should look familiar to you. Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Okay.

So, yeah. Some sort of a villainous character you would fight in an RPG. This is an A-Bao-W ah bow a coup as they appear in Shin Megami Tensei Devil Children. What? It's from Devil Children? Yeah this is in Devil. They made their way into Devil Children. Well they look pretty crazy in this. They look uh they look uh cute kind of. They kind of do. They they look adorable. Um they were they were they also made an appearance in the cartoon Secret Saturdays, and it just looks like an orange blob essentially.

But yeah, this thing is like a quiet and visible, like glob shape shifting thing that relies on the strength of man. And every time a man fails and dies before getting to the top, he tumbles down and screams that sounds like silk and he's like ah no no he falls asleep again oh no that is so fucking crazy that I like said Shin Megami Tensei earlier yeah I know I know I was like well I wonder that's so crazy I've never heard of Devil Children I don't even know what that game is uh I think it's the one that's on like Game Boy Advanced maybe.

I have to look into it. I didn't have time. I was running too tight to the clock, but it looks fucking cool and it's just like passive and sad. But if you get to the top and it's only happened one time, they get to go to heaven. They reach Nirvana. That's very sweet. You get to help and maybe they will have a... I bet you they

would sit down and have a chai and samosa with you before they go off to Nirvana as a's very sweet. You get to help. And maybe they will have us. I bet you they would sit down and have a giant samosa with you before they go off to Nirvana as a thank you for reaching the stair. This is an absolute yes for me. I would absolutely. I'll play some Game Boy advanced if you want. Oh, I'll, I'll throw on the Game Boy advanced place. Um, it's, it's called Demi kids in English. I hate that. That's terrible. That's a terrible Demi kids, but it's very, you can get it. You can get on Game Boy advanced. I'm going to check that out. Yeah, please do.. Demikids. But you can get it. You can get it on Game Boy Advance.

I'm going to check that out. Yeah, please do. I'm so curious. It looks to be a spin-off series that's set in a fantasy world. Cool. I'm in. But that's the last one, boys. There's so many we didn't talk about, like giant giraffe creatures and a weird weasel

monster that breathes fire. But maybe next time we'll come back for a round two for some of these countries in the far-flung future. But that's it. I, out of, would you on a whole have like a nice samosa dinner with all of the cryptids together? All together? What do you think of the cryptids that we sampled of India as a whole?

I guess. No. Oh no. No, these are horrifying creatures. In general seem pretty like human murder focused for the most part. Yeah, no amount. Which I'm not into, but like, conceptually, like as a tourist, I want to see and hang out with each one because they seem awesome.

The trees are the one I'm most interested about in the, in the, in the about coup, the weird blob one, but everything else seems not great. Yeah, and I'm going to actually, uh, definitely play some Shin Megami Tensei tonight as a result of this, just because it's probably not going to be devil children. It's probably going to be Shin Megami Tensei three cause that game rips, but that's where I'm at. I need to play. I mean, I remember playing digital devil's dog in the back and back in the day.

So good. So good. Anybody who's look, if you are listening to Shlum Nadi and you want an unexpected joyous revelation, check out the Shin Megami Tensei series. It's great for beginners. It's really fun and it's funny. And honestly, persona is enough. I'm in love with that series after five. So persona is cutie. I love it. All right. Anyway, I know you're not a huge fan of persona. All right. That it's cute. It is cute. Yes. fan of persona. All right, that's cute. It's cute Yes, it's very good story. It's very adorable. Yeah, I make a fun of the good they do a good job with it It's just cute. That's it today for today's episode next week

We've got a guest joining us in the form of a famed twitch streamer it me JP where I'm excited cuz it's famed Yeah, he's saying don't tell him that all right. I'll I'll you know deal with that nonsense Yeah, I don't you know, let's play him. Let's play him a little jingle when he comes on Yeah, a little let's play. Let's play him like a little Let's play some of the music from that Indian like news show or whatever All right, we are off to head over to patreon.com slash Luminaudipod do a mini-sode for everybody. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for supporting us and hey, go check out anime cult spelled C-V-L-T at

any of your podcasting. Patreon.com slash Chimagami Tensei. See you guys there. Goodbye everybody. Bye. Anyway, me and my wife were sitting outside indulging on our porch one night enjoying ourselves. I needed to go to the bathroom, so I stepped back inside and after a few moments I hear my wife go,

Holy shit, get out of here! So I quickly dash back outside, she's looking up at the sky in the fall. I look up too, and there's a perfect line of dozen lights traveling across the sky. He's smelling a flower and his dick is like red. I'm the cow weeding tree for sure. He's smelling a flower and his dick is like red. If one of us is a cow weeding tree, that is me. He's smelling a flower and his dick is like red.

I'm the cow weeding tree for sure He's smelling a flower and his dick is like red I'm the cow eating tree for sure If one of us is a cow eating tree That is me I'm the cow eating tree You can be What did you say? Ibarri It all rhymed It all rhymed It all rhymed It all rhymed

It all rhymed