Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 273 - Cryptids of Iceland

Episode Date: November 10, 2024

MERCH - http://www.theyetee.com/collections/chilluminati HeroForge - http://www.heroforge.com All you lovely people at Patreon! HTTP://PATREON.COM/CHILLUMINATIPOD Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - http://www.youtube.com/user/superbeardbros Editor - DeanCutty http://www.twitter.com/deancutty Show art by - https://twitter.com/JetpackBraggin http://www.instagram.com/studio_melectro

Hey Torontonians, recycling is more than a routine. It's a vital responsibility. By recycling properly, you help conserve resources, reduce energy use in greenhouse gas emissions, and protect the environment. Toronto's Blue Bin Recycling Program ensures the majority of the right items are recovered and transformed into new products. Recycling right is important and impactful. Let's work together and make a difference, because small actions lead to big change.

For more tips on recycling, visit toronto.ca slash recycle right. Hey Torontonians, recycling is more than a routine, it's a vital responsibility. By recycling properly, you help conserve resources, reduce energy use in greenhouse gas emissions, and protect the environment. Toronto's Blue Bin Recycling Program ensures the majority of the right items are recovered and transformed into new products. Recycling right is important and impactful. Let's work together and make a difference, because small actions lead to big change.

For more tips on recycling, visit toronto.ca slash recycle right. Hello everybody and welcome back to the Jaluminati podcast episode 273. As always I'm one of your hosts Mike Barn joined today by the Shore Laddies of LA, Alex and Jesse. The Shore Laddies? Yeah, it'll make sense later in the episode I promise. Oh, he's trying a new little gimmick. I like this the implications are that we're either gonna be connected with goblins ghouls gas

UFOs aliens and or killers. Yeah. Yeah, that's basically every genre we cover here at the podcast So statistically we're like some dumb fucking cowboy sociopathic murderer sociopathic murderer. The shore laddies of LA. Yeah, there's no one really to choose. Imagine yourselves walking on sandy beaches along the ocean. Are we like the Island Boys?

Island Boys! Island Boy Shore Laddie. They're new cryptid. They're like a sick and entered. Oh no, yeah, the Allen boys are a cryptid for sure. They're like a sick, like ocean side only bar band that plays after hours at bars and the smell of pina coladas wafts through the air and barf and fried pork and cigarettes, all the romantic smells of a night out on the beach. All the romantic smells. I don't know what you deemem romantic but you need to get out of LA it sounds like oh

everywhere doesn't have nice warm romantic barf smell wafting at them as they stroll through the evening air no no no no puddles of human piss in the corner sometimes I know it's just a city thing though that's not like an LA thing that's just a luxury yeah I was gonna say I feel like that's an ever you're telling me there's just no puddles of piss in the corner because I don't believe that You know, there's actually even some puddles of piss In the boonies of texas absolutely there. Let's be honest. Sometimes you're like, you know what? I could really go for a puddle of piss and you're like, oh shit

Yeah, you get real excited. Did you start slurping it up. Yeah. Also, I want to thank the artist over on Reddit for drawing Terry, his parents, Tom and Jerry. First of all, first of all, so fucking beautiful. So like some red wall shit going on over there at ChiluminatiPod on Reddit. I'm going to get the name because I want to shout them out. Also, when you have a chance, go over there and look at theatiPod on Reddit. I'm gonna get the name because I wanna shout him out. Also, when you have a chance, go over there and look at the sick new channel art we got from Mel.

It's pretty sick. It's on your podcast. Yeah, you can see it all across. I'm always talking about that art that's really dope on the Patreon. That's the art. It looks like that. It's sweet.

Patreon.com slash ShilluminatiPod. Anyway, Sam. Nice job. Samme514, shout outs Sam, me, 514. Shout outs. Sick art, I appreciate it very much. It's a cute little mouse saying, what should we name them, Tom? And then it's a cat that is truly like,

sentimentally pleased and says, is thinking, saying, what about Terry? And then you zoom out and you realize the cat is pregnant with the mouse's baby and they're in love with each other and they're both together at the same time. Think saying Terry with the heart emoji after it. It's great. It's beautiful. It's a work of art. It's a golden, it's a wonderful subreddit and an even better Patreon for more piss drinking imagination stories and trans species animal pregnancy porn just just dive deeper into the world of Chiluminati if you can. Hold on, it is, hold on we must be very clear here

there is nothing erotic about this it is a loving image between two absolutely adorable critters. I would say there's absolutely nothing erotic about it. It does It does imply Something forbidden has occurred I don't like this. I don't like this. You're like that. No, no, you can't do this Alex no, you can't do this No, you sound like those dudes who went a couple announces they're having a child, you're like the guy who's like, So you had sex, huh? Was it good? Was it cool?

Are you guys up for a third? Was it good? Was it cool? Was the sex cool? Was it cool when you did it? Tell me about it. How many times did it take to make that baby? What did that smell like? What did that smell like out there? Alright, I'm so sorry. me about how many times it take to make that baby what is that's crazy what does that smell like out there all right I'm so sorry it's like a cousin asking like in this in this scenario worse I don't want to know I just had a picture

in my mind that this person asking goes back We have like a pitch black room This person and he's writing fanfic about these people that he's asking The character that came into my head when you brought this character up I don't know to tell you I can't help it. I just said porn because I thought it was funny I didn't mean to make it into a whole thing. There's no point Oh, it's always a thing. It's the there's just an implied hard to take Jesse Anger seriously when he's yelling at me in ten frames a second. I thought you were gonna say cuz I'm barely ever angry So maybe I guess yeah, I guess the frame rate could be an issue.

Anytime you get angry on the show, it's because of me anyway, so I'm used to it, honestly. And I get very angry. I make him angry in a way like when a movie's not good sometimes. You know what I mean? No, that's true. I am always disappointed with the Green Stone stories. That was good, I was gonna say that's how I fell with the Greenstone. Seriously. It's like, well I guess I'll give Morbius another chance.

You can't change what's real, you know what I'm saying? That's all I'm saying, as I take a big sip of my giant Popeyes unsweetened tea. Oooh. Patreon.com slash 290pod for visuals. Boys, you ready for today's episode? Oh, you're about to say something else? No, go ahead, please. All I was gonna say was that I can't wait to see what a shore laddie is. That's all okay

Yeah, so you guys kind of have your guesses as to what today's episode is But it's what I call jalumin on comfort food today. I'm doing another cryptid episode I love a country we haven't I did too And on this one before I tell you where we're doing the country We're doing it from the rating is gonna be have a beer with Avoid or eat would you eat them and that'll make sense for about a third of it I turn out wanting to eat the short laddies. I want to be disappointed with all Yeah, would you eat them or would you have a beer with them? That's gonna be the two options. Okay beer or eat

We're doing today cryptids of one of my favorite countries I've ever visited. Or avoid. If you, yeah, yeah, avoid is on the table, I think. I'd say so. But this is the country of Iceland, gentlemen. Oh. Which we've all been to Iceland, haven't we? False. No. Incorrect. Only I've been to Iceland? Of all the places, yeah. Yeah, wow. Oh yeah, I got trapped there for four days. Fun story. I got flown out. Well, he gets trapped in Iceland. Yeah.

So I just so far out of the way to be trapped there. It was back in like 2014, 15. I got flown out to a paradox event out in Europe. And on the way back, anytime you go there on the way back, you stop in Iceland. That's just as how it goes. But on the way back, I don't know. That's true. Well, just as how it goes. But on the way back, I don't know that's true. Well, it's true that way.

I saw Iceland gets a lot of it's like Iceland air is like they have cheap flights to a lot of the places in Europe as but the catches you have to make a landing and stop in Iceland first and then go out. OK, sure. But on the way back, it was during a really nasty blizzard in Boston. So when we landed in Iceland, my flight, anybody who was going to Boston got canceled and we were there for four days while we waited for the weather to clear.

And while we were there, it was blizzarding there as well. We were in the town of Reykjavik and we were just stuck in the hotel. We were just stuck there. The small suburb. The small one, yeah, yeah, the small one. And we were just stuck in the hotel during a whiteout blizzard even in Iceland. I could barely get to the gas station like a block one. Yeah. Yeah the small one and we were just stuck in the hotel during a

Whiteout blizzard even in Iceland. I could barely get to the gas station like a block away It was so hard when you say we who are you referring to me and like? Like six or seven other people that were making their way back. So you're telling me you're stuck in Some sort of blizzard scenario in a hotel. Yep, you couldn't do anything with random people In a hotel. Yep. You couldn't do anything. No. You're with random people.

Sounds like prime drinking and eating time to me. That's all you could do. We actually got a free tour of CCP games, but on the way back, the blizzard hit so bad that most of the highway pulled over except for our cab driver who was fucking just going 50, 60 miles an hour. Oh my God. It was horrifying. Yeah. And when the blizzard stopped in Boston, it didn't stop in Iceland. So we took off in the blizzard, which was scary

anyway, Iceland cryptids Back to the episode stuff. I thought both of you had been to Iceland as well, but I never I'd love to I've been to Scandinavia several times never made it to Iceland. Iceland's like beautifully desolate would love to go Several times, never made it to Iceland. Iceland's like beautifully desolate. Would love to go. Would love to go. Would love to find some way to accidentally... What's the haunting ghost like out in Iceland?

Anybody who listens out there, I'm curious. That's an open question to the subreddit. Icelandic people. What's the ghost vibe in Iceland? Yeah, what's the haunting vibe out in Iceland? What's the best time to visit? Oh, that's a good question. I like that.

Remember, there's times where there's no sunlight. That's what I'm saying. What's the best time to visit? Oh, that's a good question. I like that. Remember, there's times where there's no sunlight. That's what I'm saying. What's the best time? Also, you have to imagine there's a thawing season and there's a season where it starts to get cold. So like, also is summer too much? Like when's the right time? Do you wanna go in spring?

Yeah, what's the time? I actually don't know anything about it. I just wanna eat food that challenges me and sit in warm water. Is that too much to ask? And sit in warm water. Is that too much to ask? I don't think it's too much to ask. I like that they're attainable goals. I think you can make that happen. Hell yeah. Thank you so much to Heroforge for sponsoring today's episode. And happy birthday, Heroforge. It's their 10th anniversary this month, and this month they're celebrating with huge, huge discounts.

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physical miniatures and 50% on digital miniatures and STLs during the 10th anniversary sale. Thank you again to Heroforge for sponsoring today's episode. Alright boys, let's talk about some of the cryptids out in Iceland. And we'll start with a couple that are, you probably would expect out there. First the Hildafok. The Hildafok. Who the fuck?

Hildafok. Who the fuck? Who the fuck? Who the fuck? Also, which actually might make sense because it translates to hidden people. The Hildafok, meaning hidden people in Icelandic, are what? What? Nothing. So they're the hidden folk is what you're saying.

Yeah, Hildafok. Or in English. The Hildafok. Who the fuck? Yeah, but like who the fuck because they're hidden, who the fuck or in English? Who the fuck you put on some like accent thing there and it just sounded like you're saying the fuck how would you say? This word boys. How would you say that who the folk? Thank you who the folk? Yeah, he'll hold the fuck Say the who the folk. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. The hidden people are the... Who the fuck is that?

Who in the fuck is that? These things are often considered akin to elves or fairies and they're said to live in a parallel world that occasionally intersects with the human realm and the Hildafolk are described as human-like in appearance but are invisible to most people. Stories about them are abundant in Iceland ranging from tales of their assistance to people in times of need to accounts of their retribution on people when they are disrespected. These beings are believed to inhabit rocks, hills, mounds, and it's customary for Icelanders to avoid disturbing these natural features to prevent offending

a hildafolk. Construction projects have been altered or even halted to preserve areas thought to be their homes. Christmas and New Year's Eve are significant times when the hildafolk are said to move to new locations and special precautions are taken by locals during these periods, which is another one on this list that you've actually covered, Jesse, on a Cox and Krendor episode back in the day. Oh, I'm aware.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll be talking about them too as well. Their superpowers, their hidden abilities. One is obviously invisibility. It's their primary ability that just makes them invisible to humans. They can kind of choose when to reveal themselves and when not. They're known to have possessed magical powers, including ability to cast magic heal and influence humans fortunes Some legends suggest that they can even alter their appearance or take on the forms of animals

Not just humans and the whole the folk can move between the world of our world and their world Seamlessly and at will they can kind of phase in and out when they choose to so, you know Before we go into their origin let's stop. Would you have a drink with these guys? Would you eat these guys or avoid? They seem, they're overall pretty neutral. They're overall pretty neutral. Are these transplants from Norse mythology? They sound very similar to like a shared kind of commonality there. We're going to talk a little bit about the origins or what the theorized origin of these things are, but you are correct that, yes, Norse mythology is one of the, where they believe

that these things come from. I mean, if these are of that ilk, I would say avoid because- They don't love humans. Yeah, they're not big fans of humies. As far as I know, I am admittedly just the biggest. Oh no, you're correct. Not big. Just like, it goes back to old school stuff of like, fairies sound cute.

No, they will torture you terribly. Elves don't want to mess with you. If anything, they hate you for existing. Like just, good old things. No, I'm all right. You know, you do your thing. I'll do mine. I'll cross the material plane. You ever seen that old cartoon that's on YouTube that's like, fuck a, fuck a, fuck a, fuck a, fuck about humans. It's from Brad Neely. Give it a look. For each one of these, I tried to find a story that like actually exists,

but to just to let you know not every crypt that I had Have here I could find like any story but for these guys actually in 2013 Construction of a road in the Buddha Halls area was delayed due to the concerns of disturbing a hill to folk dwelling Activists claim the large rocks in the area were homes to the hidden people. And after negotiations and rituals to appease them, construction proceeded without any further issues. And some people, some locals believe that toward the 2010 eruption of the volcano out there was connected to disturbing the hold of folk. And that was their retribution and like paying back for building and shit.

So, you know, it's still very much a belief out that way. I do think it's funny that they were like, guys, we have to. Okay, we have to do this. The boulders. We don't want to disturb them. So like make some ritual. Okay, now we can disturb them. Yeah, yes, exactly that. All right. Rules is rules. Historically, the belief that these guys stem from a blend of Norse

mythology and very early Christian influences kind of meld together. The harsh Icelandic environment with its lava fields, glaciers and volcanic landscapes. Wait, wait, wait. What? Okay. Call me ignorant. Grow up Catholic. So maybe there's differences between the two religions. Yeah. Well, one of the origin stories of these guys actually involves Christmas Eve from the biblical narrative. And according to the tale, or Eve rather, the woman Eve from biblical narrative. And according to this tale, Eve was bathing her children when God called upon her and embarrassed that some of her children were not yet washed. She hid them from God.

When God asked if all her children were present, she lied. And as punishment for her deception, God declared that the hidden children remain hidden from mankind forever, becoming the Hilda folk. So this to me sounds like some church guy was like, yeah, you know those Norse guys, the Hilda folk? They're actually from Christianity too, if you think about it. It literally actually is the plot of Book of Mormon. Yeah, exactly. It's absolutely the plot of the movie. Yeah. I was able to find two origins to their mythology as well in terms of the Christianity one. The other one was the other account that I have here is that it ties them to fallen angels. And when Lucifer rebelled, those angels who remained

neutral were cast out of heaven but not sent to hell and instead they just fell to earth and became Hilda folk living in the space between humanity and the divine. That's kind of like all the stories were like the angels lusted after ladies and they became super big horny angels. These angels then went around banging ladies. I feel like if I look up a picture of these guys though, that I'm not going to be thinking like, oh those are fallen angels. Well, so you might actually,

like so, actually you can just use, there's a picture on the wiki. They look like Gabi Gabi Gab Gab Gabos. They look like Gabi Labis. Gabi Gabi Gab Gab Gabos. I mean a lot of the art I'm looking at right now is kind of like What you would imagine Lord of the Rings artwork to look like drawn in the 1960s. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good way to put it. They look like little farty-flarties. They look like little little little little dwarfie guys. They don't really have like a Profane dwarfy guys they don't really have like a um profane like appearance to me they look more

fake they're more human looking they definitely have like uh they have the potential to be a great video game because they're everything from giant like godly looking elf people to gnomes to little gobos to all sorts of different dudes dwarf dwarfie looking guys. You could definitely I'm just saying Iceland. Find some money. I don't know how. Make a game called Hilda folk. You got yourself like a little Sims thing or maybe like a city builder. Oh, yeah. Gobble and you can make the like.

Just saying I'd play the shit out of that. I know. I would do. You both write this avoid you avoid the Hilda folk. Oh, yeah. No, avoid. OK, all cost. If if they, wait, if they are truly the, like, some sort of evil impish creatures, yeah, but if they're my theory, which is that they are Marvel's The Eternals. No, you just want to because they're all hot. It's literally the hottest people who ever lived. If it turns out it's Marvel's The Eternals, I want to hang out with them.

If it's not Marvel's The Eternals, I want to hang out with them. If it's not Marvel's The Eternals, I'm going with A Void. They're closer to they sound closer to Jeff the Mongoose fan. They sound closer to the second Hellboy movie is what they sound like. Don't mess with that. It's called Hellboy 2 The Golden Army. Thank you very much. My bad. Next, Krypton on the list of Krypton's boys. And this one is. Hey, Tront cryptid on the list of cryptids boys.

And this one is. Hey Torontonians, recycling is more than a routine. It's a vital responsibility. By recycling properly, you help conserve resources, reduce energy use in greenhouse gas emissions, and protect the environment. Toronto's Blue Bin Recycling Program ensures the majority of the right items are recovered

and transformed into new products. Recycling right is important and impactful. Let's work together and make a difference because small actions lead to big change. For more tips on recycling visit toronto.ca slash recycle right. Another one that you kind of expect. Number two is simply trolls which you would expect probably from Norse lore and whatnot. Trolls and as Icelandic folklore our large few different kinds of trolls that's true that's very true but Icelandic trolls are not like we hide under a bridge they're like big trolls like yeah like yeah like the reggae

trolls and the EDM trolls and the punk rock trolls That's European With a good hair, you know the The Rasta trolls from World of Warcraft Okay, never mind never mind I thought I saw him in a movie or something I don't remember. Are you talking about what the fuck's that movie trolls? It's called true sending. No, it's never seen trolls Trolls remember the doll. Sorry. You guys remember the doll More like they should have been called gnomes The hold the folk dolls they should be called they should have been called marvels of the Eternals

Trolls and Icelandic folklore are large humanoid creatures often dwelling in mountains caves or other secluded rocky areas large humanoid creatures often dwelling in mountains, caves, or other secluded rocky areas. They are portrayed as uncivilized, slow-witted, and sometimes dangerous. Trolls are nocturnal beings. They venture out at night to avoid the sunlight, which can turn them to stone. Many Icelandic rock formations are attributed to trolls that were caught by the sunrise. Tales of trolls frequently involve interactions with humans where they might abduct people, especially children as most folkloric creatures tend to, or just simply cause mischief.

However, some stories even depict trolls as beings capable of kindness, assisting lost travelers or even sharing old knowledge. They would come with the supernatural abilities you would expect. They've got super strength. They can turn into stone or they turn into stone when the Sun hits them, which is kind of like a supernatural weakness They also just stole that did you just straight-up stole that for the hobbit? Yeah, I guess he did. Yeah Yeah, but also dwarves and elves and Sorts of stuff they have some primitive form of magic

People to cast spells that can create illusions of them or simple illusions from my understanding. And of course they live for centuries. They're a very long-lived creature. So before we move on to the theories and whatnot, would you drink, would you eat, or would you avoid? They eat children, I'm avoiding. I know I would taste good.

But you're not a I would you're safe Yeah, but look at me the potential violence flesh of a young young child I this is that's what you want to say would pass this up. I'm there with some bunch of a young child It's me. That's me. I got the top the top tush of a man of much younger years I'm just gonna have to take notice of my giant Popeyes on street guys too. They would see me and be like, no, that is a snack. Come to me boy. That's rough notes. I'd be like, but I'm an adult, sir. And he'd be like, I will eat you up. I will. Yeah. No, no pass. Hard pass on this one too. Same for you then

Alex. You're passing. Again, like like okay, sometimes these guys look jolly. Sometimes they look friendly when they're carved out of wood when you see them around. I imagine these trolls, I've never seen them in Iceland, but I've seen similar trolls in like other Nordic countries. I know the actual troll dolls that I was making fun of earlier are from like Denmark I think, and are kind of based off of these guys.

And they're pretty friendly looking but if they're anything like yeah the ones from the Hobbit or any other video game or Fantasy world that I've ever been familiar with I got a boy troll. That's dangerous. Yeah, sure enough I was able I wasn't over this what sorry Jesse. No, you should yeah, they will. That should be- that should be a no-go to begin with. Here's the problem. We said that about wolves And now we have man's best friend is a dog. So like maybe out there There's a troll but with one L and he's like a really nice guy. A troll.

You know? A troll. Yeah. He's like the Aloy version of a troll. Yeah, a troll. Yeah, he's like a he's like a low he's like the Aloy version of a troll Yeah, a troll a troll. I wasn't able to find any crazy stories about them But I was able to find that near near the village of Vic Mia Dral and I apologize for butchering it There near the Basel sea stacks They're said to be the Basel sea stacks over there are said to be trolls turned to stone and according to legend Two trolls were dragging a three masted ship towards land when they were caught by the first light of dawn and petrified by the sunlight remaining as rock formations and then the uh and then there's oh i get it now yeah yeah uh and then it's off the coast of the snaf snafelsness peninsula stands

alone rock pillar known as skasundrager and legend says it's a troll woman who was caught by the sunrise while washing her clothes and turned to stone. So this, what this legend does is explain the absolutely, first off, beautiful but totally insane geography of Iceland. Yes, it's beautifully desolate. It's like, yeah, yeah. Like there's this giant weird looking rock formations everywhere that if you squint from a different angle kind of looks like a person. I get it. Makes sense. Yep. Yep. So, uh, yeah. You basically have the origin already explained right there. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right off that. All right. Number three. We get a little weirder. The lyre felt worm, the lyre felt worm. And I ran that through the how to pronounce website so I know it's correct Lyrefield

Lie look. Yeah, this is how it's spelled. So I just love the way these words look is it just is insanity The lyrefield worm The lyrefield There's G's and F's and J's in places I did not expect Yeah, this feels illegal almost and J's in places I did not expect. Yeah, this feels illegal almost. This is a legendary creature said to inhabit the Leierfjolte Lake near the town of Ilyseildur. Descriptions of the worm vary, but the most common depicted version of it is a gigantic

serpent or almost dragon-like serpent creature with multiple humps along its back. Sightings date back to as early as the 14th century. It's making it just like a really long standing cryptid in the area. And the creature is often associated with ominous events such as natural disasters, crop failures, and over centuries numerous expeditions and investigations have been conducted to uncover the truth behind this thing. But much like Nessie, no conclusive evidence can be found that this thing actually exists. This is really Iceland's Nessie in a lot of ways. This thing is said to be up to 300 feet long, that it has a venomous or toxic emissions that either spits venom or releases like a poison gas.

It says it can some say some of the stories say that this thing can shape shift changing its appearance sometimes appearing as an island or a patch of fog in the lake. And it's also assumed that the worm has like caused direct disturbances within the lake itself, such as whirlpools or sudden waves that seem to have occurred. Uh, so just like, it really doesn't have like any motive. It is very much less. That's why I say it's like the Nessie of Iceland and very much just kind of a creature that seems to exist in the lake and has lived there fucking forever. Um, a big giant weird worm.

Um, I'm like, do we know anything? I'm curious about Organs intentions just float there and swim. Is it just an animal? Does he have divine purpose so we don't really like it just seems like to be a creature in the lake more along the lines of creature in the lake We have basically like we know The origin of this thing one of the legends of the origin of this thing is that a young girl received a gold ring and upon seeking a way to increase its wealth, she was advised to place it under a lingworm, which is a type of worm.

She did so placing both the worm and the ring in a chest. And when she later opened the chest, the worm had grown enormously and the rings gold had not increased. Frightened, she threw the chest into the lake where the worm would continue to grow until it reaches the size it is now and began terrorizing the area. So it's less about the worm and more about a magic ring. Yes. Because anything grow such an unexpected part is. Yeah. OK. Well, it's because again, it's more like Nessie, where it's more about the actual historical origin of the thing is more influenced by sightings of the natural phenomena

and coupling it with the seismic activity, which usually causes unusual ripples or disturbances within the lake, which causes optical illusions, which can cause light refracting off water. Because there was, much like Nessie a photo I think 2012 is what I read was like when the photo was taken so it's it's very much a Nessie kind of thing that's just been kind of passed down for centuries and centuries and centuries

Interesting. I get I think it's just a night as hell. I think it's just an explanation to the weird hide as hell. I think it's just an explanation to the weird looking waves and stuff when maybe seismic activity that people can't necessarily immediately feel is happening underground and making it look like weird things are in the lake. Right, right. Is Jesse even close to the soul?

So this, just for clarity's sake, for the listener, this isn't a W-Y-R-M. No. This is a W-O, because the literal worm that this became. Well, sometimes it is. Sometimes it is W-Y cuz the literal worm that this became well Sometimes it is W. Y. R. M. For this guy Sometimes cuz sometimes when you see it, I've seen is W. Oh, yeah. No for sure Lore is it was just a straight-up worm then no matter what it became it damn things a worm well, I'll say a lot of them look like rep for everyone to yeah, I uh

Look, I'm obviously not gonna have a drink with this thing, but I'm not going to avoid it, which only leaves me one option. I want to eat this thing. Yeah, when I was in Scandinavia, I was in Norway, and I did eat for dinner some minky whale which was sustainably farmed and fine. Not, I don't know about farmed, but obtained, sustainably hunted or something. I was assured of this before I ate it. And that's a huge creature that, you know,

could feed a lot of people, right? So like, there's almost something benevolent about eating a giant serpent. I would love to... But also what establishes is your dominance over it, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You let it know who the apex predator really is. I'd love to join the entire human race in devouring this. Everyone, everyone gets a taste. Yeah. Oh, humanity line up. You get a taste.

These next, this next I have them lumped in the same as the next scripted, but this is going to be the one where I thought that you would want to eat them begins. This is the next one. The salmon mother and the halibut mother. I mean, you don't even need to tell me anymore. Yes, I would munch on those. Exactly. So the salmon mother is a figure that can be seen as almost the personification of the salmon population in Icelandic waters.

Salmon have been vital to the Icelandic, Icelandic sustenance and economy, especially in rural communities where fishing is the primary livelihood there. The salmon mother embodies the spirit of salmon overseeing their life cycles and ensuring their prosperity. And in some tales, fishermen speak of a majestic female figure seen near salmon rich rivers, believed to be the guardian protecting the salmon from overfishing and environmental harm. She is respected, even sometimes feared, as offending her could lead to poor catches and accidents. She is like her abilities kind of are she actually has some abilities. Guardian of salmon

she is said to have dominion over all salmon guiding their migration and breeding patterns. She can appear as a large salmon, a woman, or a woman that has fishy like qualities like a fish woman allowing her interact both with fish and humans I would love to know the definition of a fish woman. Yeah She like qualities I would go mermaid almost but like a little bit Mermaid this is a true true true like qualitieslike qualities. She's also a water bender. She has control over water, river currents and water levels. And she can bless or curse people depending on how they respect nature.

I just love how it shows the priorities. You know what I mean? There's always lessons to be had in these cryptid episodes. You always find out the fables that they tell each other. But I love that. Like one of the priorities for the Icelandic people is like, well, don't worry. She protects the salmon, which is a big part of our, you know, like I just love that. Yeah, we need, we need to look out for her. And then the halibut mother is very similar with a few key differences. Well, yeah, well, for one, she's a halibut, which is, you know, totally different fish, which

if you didn't know, it's like a flatfish. That is another huge breeding species for Icelandic fisheries. The halibut mother is envisioned as a guardian spirit of the sea floor where halibut dwell. Fishermen tell tales of encountering a mysterious woman or a giant halibut with unusual markings believed to be the halibut mother watching over her domain. She is sometimes described as emerging from the depth during storms or when overfishing threatens the halibut population. Her appearances are considered omens prompting fishermen to reflect on their practices and

she never appears for good reasons. Her abilities are similar. She's never like, great job. Great job. No, she's never been like great job. She's like, you're fucking things up. She doesn't have control over like waters as holy as the Salmon Mother does,

but she can calm or agitate the sea. And she also has the ability like Aquaman to talk to fish. And she can sometimes act as an intermediary between humans and sea creatures. Aquaman can't talk to fish. Conve humans and sea creatures Aquaman can't talk to fish Conveying messages or warnings He can't talk to fish It's not entirely Aquaman

It's not the podcast for this Aquaman is cool Yeah so is Black Agar Baltigan bro Yes! Capable of confusing fisheries They also can do The Halibut mother can also do like illusions can confuse them with like.

Illusions is a huge power. Yeah. Okay. But like to make an area look like it's more stormy than it is to keep boats away. That kind of illusion basically. Okay. Some wizard. And her origins are similar. They just lie in the deep respect for the fishermen have

for the creatures, the fish that they're taking from the sea. And it's just been around for a very Very long time. I trust people who fish I don't know why she's a little more like malevolent than the salmon mother a little bit more Yeah, malevolent sure yeah tired of people shit You know like she's like you come into my watery kingdom you take my kids. Yeah, I think I think she's more That fed up with humanity. She more that fed up with humanity. She seems more fed up with them. Are they a duo?

Are they like two sides of the same coin? Is that how they're seen? Or is that just like, we're just grouping them together? No, that's just how I'm just putting them together. They're separate beings. I'm just putting them together. I love the idea that maybe the salmon was like the like, noble fish and that the halibut was like the like,

shadow the hedgehog of fish. I just I love the I love the notion of that but maybe that's not maybe that's not the case. No, maybe not. So you would eat them still? You stick with that? I think we're in good eating territory honestly with the fish goddesses or whatever. You know what I'm saying? Salmon and halibut. I wouldn't eat the salmon mom because she's about sustainability and I feel like she would keep things running smoothly. Halibut mom though, munching on that. Honestly, thinking about it again, maybe I'll just chill with them

and like be real, because I love fish, I love nature, I have no like designs on disrespecting the salmon population. Like maybe we can kick back have a nice little salmon sustainably sourced salmon you know what I'm saying or some halibut yes that's all they seem to care about because they seem to be fine with you fishing the salmon and halibut it's when overfishing starts occurring that they start getting mad that's how you know that I want to do like some sort of Icelandic people like debauched I want to do like some sort of... Icelandic people are cool. Like debauched. I wanna do like something messed up. Like I wanna eat the halibut mom while hanging with the salmon mom. You wanna like team up and eat her together?

Like some serial killer shit? No, I just wanna like hang out but eating like a nice halibut sandwich. Does she know that you're eating her like... Like a nice like fried with lettuce, tomato nice like sauce on there like hanging out drinking with Salmon mom and seven moms like have you seen mom lately and I'm like nah, you're like by the way No, I haven't you're I'm eating your Wario right now I feel like that would be fun. Isn't that fucked up? I'm eating your Wario It'd be fun for me at least I would yeah enjoy. You might die after that, but hey,

it'd be worth it for the gag. All right, moving on boys, to the four Landvatir. Landvatir are the four land spirits. The Landvatir are protective spirits of the land and Icelandic tradition. Each region is believed to have its own Landvatir safeguarding the area and its people. They are revered and respected.

Hold on. Like the Legend of Zelda? Kind of. It's literally about to be like, is this Zelda? Yeah, kind of. They are revered and respected and it is customary to avoid actions that might offend them, such as what else, disrespecting natural landmarks and nature. Putting oil in the water.

And each of the four cardinal directions have their own guardians. So the guardian of the east is Drekki, the dragon. Guardian of the north is Gamur, the griffin. Guardian of the west is Grin, gamer, yeah, yeah. Gamer the griffin. Gamer the griffin, Peter Griffin. Could be huge Iceland, talky tourism. Then there's Gridungur. Gamer the Griffin. Gamer the Griffin. Peter Griffin. Huge Iceland. Taki tourism.

Then there's Grydungur, which is the bull. He guards the, they guard the west. And then Borgisi, which is the giant, and they guard the south. This is fascinatingly similar to like many other early sort of like

China's filled with guardians of north, south, east. Like there's a lot of places around the world that do this. And I absolutely love it. It's one of my favorite, like mythological tropes. Yeah. It's really cool. Um, these guys, what their job and kind of powers are is to protect each of their respective regions from harm, which is including invasions and natural disasters. Uh, they have control over the fertility of the land, weather patterns and the well-being of their inhabitants. And they can also shape shift like looking

like a human or the animal that they are, you know, their spirit animal and like physical form. Could they turn into like George Clooney? Could they like shape shift into anything? For what purpose? I'm just saying like is it I guess like yeah any human form, but I think they have a preferred one, which I couldn't tell you off the off the memory what that was. But you could find them like whoever they cast as themselves.

Yeah, I just you know, why don't you make up what you think they look like in your head? I think the gamer the Griffin is like it looked like Peter Griffin in my head now. My head is a Griffin. That's a cartoon. First of all, that's a cartoon. So that's that's already crazy. Gamer the Griffin for me is like a Seth Rogen, like a classic Seth Rogen type, but he's a Griffin. He's got like, you know, like Wolverine's hair kind of looks like his mask. You know what I'm saying? Like this guy kind of has like an essence of Griffin. Yeah, I see what you're saying.

With his body hair and his vibe, but it's like a Seth and Robyn type. Like art depicting these is like a little bit, but not many. Well, I mean, I imagine because it's a Griffin. There's probably plenty of art at Griffin's. Oh yeah, before we go on. That's kind of their job. They protect, they hang out, they like, they're whatnot. These guys to me automatically kind of come out as like, let's have a drink with these guys.

They also, by the way, can communicate you through dreams, visions, like your typical kind of sage interpret message interpretation. Did you say sage because of fucking Zelda, you bastard? I'm just saying what comes to my mind. I'm just, I'm referring to it. All right.

Shootin' from the hip. Would you have a drink with these guys? I feel like yes. I feel like yes. I feel like yes. These guys seem chill. I'm imagining, you know, those guys that hang out with Thor in Marvel's Thor. Hate to go back to Marvel.

Hate to go back to Jack Kirby. That's kind of how I had him in my head too, actually. Yeah. His warriors three. His warriors three, but then there's four because Thor's four. But also Sith, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. These guys originate, like speaking, like they originate from Norse pagan beliefs where the spirits inhabited the natural elements kind of made whole according to the saga of King Harold Bluetooth a Sorcerer sent to scout Iceland Yeah He a sorcerer sent to scout Iceland encountered these formidable guardians deterring the King's plan to invade Iceland encountered these formidable guardians deterring the King's plan to invade.

Their their presence underscores that kind of the sacredness of the land and the belief that nature is kind of a protective force. You know what sucks? Yeah, he was like, this isn't worth our time. Harold Bluetooth is probably just a dude who had like one jank messed up tooth. And for the rest of history, that's all he's known about. Like, that's it. Just old Bluetooth. It's like he's known about like that's it Denmark it's like a Denmark. Yeah, it's I love it. I love it

Yeah, so that yeah, that's the origins of them obviously like it sounds very Norse and it is now This is the cryptid Jesse you've covered before we may have even brought it up on a Christmas episode the Yule lads Love these boys and the Yule cat fan of all of them love these boys and the Yule Cat fan of all of them the Yule Cat sounds like a 1940s Hollywood cat character like Felix the Cat what are you talking about? dude basically basically the thing Yule Lads rule Yule Cat rules all the Yule people love them all the Yule? love them you don't know about Yule Cat and Cool Cat?

no no shit I feel like I should know them now I know about DJ or MC Scat Cat I know about Yulkat and Coolkat? No shit, I feel like I should know them now. I know about DJ or MC Scat Cat, I know about him. The Yulads, these guys are a group of 13 mischievous brothers who visit Icelandic homes during the 13 nights before Christmas, and each lad arrives on a specific night and engages in behavior reflective of their unique names and personalities. I must stress every one of these sounds like if we were, you know, you know the movie Inside Out. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why I just said chat listeners.

Chat. The internet got me. Listeners at home, if you just close your eyes a minute. Imagine Mr. Alex Fosciani. Oh, I don't have to. Go into his head, do the like, if you just close your eyes a minute, imagine Mr. Alex Fosiani. Oh, I don't have to. Go into his head, do the like, whoop, now you're in Alex's head and around the control panel where all the inside out characters would be,

instead, it's just the Yulats. Every single Yulat is another facet of Alex's existence. When you listen to these, you'll be like, stop, no, that's just Fosiani. I'm the one who makes the soup I'm the one who wears weird clothes. I'm the one who does his shave. I'm the one who drinks as much for a month of his 20s. It's pretty much the same. Yes! All fighting for control of fucking balances everyday.

Yeah, each night a new one comes out and takes control. Why am I picturing them doing the intro little dance from Zoom? I'm crazy Come on and Zoom come on Well I wasn't going to talk about the Yule Cat but fuck it since we're here No we gotta talk about the Yule Cat You have to go through the Yule Ad so Alice can see how each of them is just another extreme version of himself But first let's start with the Yule Cat because I wasn't gonna cover him but I've got him right here

I love the Yule Cat. Wait, Yule Cat and Cool Cat? Just the Yule Cat. I'm sorry. Yule Cat which is Yola Koturin, something like that. That sounds reasonable. It sounded like a Klingon trying to speak Spanish. I'm trying to speak Spanish. Kepla dude. Kepla bro. Kepla bro. Kepla bro. Kepla bro. Kepla bro.

Oh my god. It's a huge cat that is said to lurk in the snowy countryside during Christmas season and eat people who do not receive new clothing before Christmas eve. No, fuck that. This guy's getting the eating bro. He's getting, I'm getting justice for the Icelandic people. In other versions of the story, the cat just eats the food of people without new clothes. This cat is closely associated with other figures from this time for lore rather,

but considered to be the pet of Ogurs Grilla and her sons, which are the Yule Lads. Which actually, I think we've talked about Grilla at least. We have 100%. Yeah. Um, what's interesting here about the Yule cat is that it basically is the tale of, Hey, it's winter, get new clothes. More importantly, if it's Christmas, give clothes to other people.

And if you don't, you won't be punished. They'll like your kids will die. Yeah. If you're, it's an interesting way to, you won't be punished. They'll like, your kids will die. If you, it's an interesting way to spin that. Yeah. Here are the 13 Yule Lads boys. Sheep coat Claude, he arrives on December 12th and he leaves on Christmas. And he harasses sheep, but is impaired by his,

but he's impaired by it by his stiff peg legs so it's a hard time he's got peg legs hobbling around and he just harasses the sheep. That's me from 6.30 in the morning to like 7.15 in the morning this is how I walk around the house just like this. Imagine that guy's operating the controls upstairs now he's got peg legs and he's not trying to harass the sheep, he's trying to suckle from the ewes on the farmer's sheep. That's just a misunderstanding because the best milk is the freshest milk, that's all.

Then there's Gullygawk. He arrives December 13th and leaves on December 26th and he hides in gullies waiting for an opportunity to sneak into cow sheds and steal milk. They just really love fucking milk. There is a thing. I wish I could drink fresh milk. If I'm like so lactose intolerant

that it would like destroy me. I bet the only milk I can have is like the freshest milk but I don't even know what's worse for me. I don't drink milk so much that I have like a like a lapse in milk and I yeah I've got a milk either really I've got a milk gap I actually I've moved to oat milk for my coffee at this point like I don't even like I don't even look at my fucking coffee I live and breathe the life of Colombo who I'm imagining is one of the you'll ads at this point so So he might be. So the first two, maybe not your kind of people,

they're too milk oriented. No, they are right inside Alex. But in spirit, like I have, like if it was, if we just do the Japanese JRPG route and interpret the milk as some kind of liquor, now we're in business. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, no, I'm with you.

I think we can make it work. Or apple juice. Next up on the list. Number three is just Stubby. And I just love it. It's just a simple name. Stubby. That cannot be his name.

As you can see a pattern here as they all arrive and leave a day later than the previous. He arrives on December 14th, leaves December 27th. Stubby is abnormally short and he steals pans for the food baked for to the bottoms of in the brims like he just steals the burnt shit out of the pans okay this is yeah he eats the crust left within them that's so specific he's a crust eater you think I'm lying when I said these are guys inside your head they're all you I go in the kitchen after we like pick clean a fucking like roast or something. And I eat the like burnt little piece of gristle on the side. I go for all that.

I'm a little slurred for that shit. S-T-U-B-B-Y stubby. Hold on. S-T-U-B-B-Y. Stubby. Just the English word stubby. Yeah. Well, in their language, it's stufur. Stufur. Stufur is worse. Let's move on. Forget about it. I'm giving you the English translation. I'd rather be a stubby than a stufur, stufur, which means the same. Stufur is worse, let's move on. I'm just giving you the English translations. I'd rather be a stubby than a stufur. The next one is me, and I think it's all three of us here

at 3 a.m. when we're way stoned. Spoon liquor, spoon liquor here arrives on December 15th, leaves December 28th. He steals wooden- A man licks spoons. He's extremely thin for malnutrition, and he steals wooden spoons that are being used for cooking, licking them and eating eating all the residue

And like stuff on the spoon as the guy who mostly cooks in my house. That's the most disgusting I want to hit him with with a fucking wooden spoon in the fucking middle of his forehead That's the grossest shit. He's emaciated go get some fucking lunch, bro He's yeah, he's extremely thin for malnutrition. You need to find another way of getting nutrition my guy I guess we haven't found any of these guys you're willing to hang out with yet except for maybe stubby Every single one of them. I don't want to work with them. In fact I do frequently when Alex comes over The whole time you're gonna hang out with them Freaking freaking stubby and it's gonna be asking to like

Go pick the crust off your sandwich or whatever and spoon look is gonna be looking at your spoons Which which one is the you lad who shows up with $85 worth of food and a knife and cooks a meal for everyone that's feeding everybody. All right. Next up pot scraper. How is this not the last guy? First of all, this is, this is like, this is really if in another world, bean boys, arch nemesisis because it means something different Pot scraper? Pot scraper arrives, right? Yeah But that's not what he means here.

He's December, he arrives December 16th, leaves December 29th and he steals pots and scrapes out the leftovers pretty straightforward. Okay, this guy and the last guy, control C. That's fucked up. They're the same fucking guy. Alright, you know who's saying the same thing? No no no no no no. There's one guy who eats the burnt bits, one guy who licks the spoons clean that have been used and one guy that eats the leftovers.

Pans, spoons, and pots, three different guys? Three that's... How many ULADs are there? Forty-one? Thirteen. Thirteen, god damn it. And this one covers all your last bases. The next one is simply known as bowl liquor.

See, bowl liquor. He licks the bowls. So this is real specific. Yeah, December 17th he arrives, he licks the bowls. So this is real specific. He's yet December 17th. He arrives, leaves on December 30th. And the weird thing about him, though, is he hides under the bed and awaits for you to put wooden bowls, wooden food bowls on the floor

where he'll then steal them and lick them clean. If I'm ever in Iceland for Christmas, I'm doing takeaway. This is the nastiest shit I've ever heard. Ben, we've got... Oh, there's a magic... it's not me! It's not me licking the gravy! It's not me! It's not me! It's bowl liquor!

And no, it wasn't even me, that was another guy named Pan Liquor! I must stress to you, all of these are very clearly created by a dad. Like a dad who on Christmas Eve went down to the kitchen, like, licked some bowls, some spoons, went to a kitchen, like, licked some bowls, some spoons, went till we get to my boy Sausage Swiper. It's all like-

Hang on, we're getting there, we're not there yet. We're getting close but we're not there. We got two more before him, so hold your horses. Where's Skunk Smeller? Next up, we got December 18th and they leave December 31st none other than door slammer who what else? Love slamming doors in the night just to wake people up just an asshole Christmas you fuckers this guy To do improv when I was like 21 years old and I was just the most And then you've got Skier Gobbler,

which is basically yogurt. He loves yogurt. It's a regional style of yogurt out there, yeah, and he just fucking eats, he has an insatiable appetite for it, and he just will eat it. As somebody who is lactose intolerant, that is a type of milk product

I'm very familiar with, and is good. This is Jesse's favorite up next one sausage swiper Done Sausage swiper arrives on December 20th and leaves January 2nd Say no more But again like like the bowl liquor he's weird and that he's hiding in the rafters He just kind of hangs out in the rafters and waits Look people would hang their sausages from the ceiling

He would Yeah and then when He's as the sausages are being smoked when they're hung he dangles down and thanks I'm just like like mission impossible he dangles down and grabs those sausages you know I get it dude I get it patreon.com slash chillamati pod for the good visuals yeah that's a good visual I only saw your hands as your head was out of camera for me because I have the narrow view. Beautiful 1080p. Yeah. Then the next one could easily be a little like over the line a little creepy. They

arrive on December 21st and leave January 3rd. This is window peeper. Both are good luck. Got gear. He's a snoop who likes to peek through the windows to see things he can steal. Okay, well that's okay. How else are the rest of them going to figure out what bowls are where and what sauces? You gotta have a lookout man. As close to an honest reason to peep in someone's window as possible. But the issue is like the lookout man arrives like at the end after most of the crew has already come.

No, no, no, he's looking out and then he looks in to see what's going on and so like are they doing it? But he's spending all the time looking out for them. All right, sure I like that that that political spin you put on him. He does annoying is the other ones I'll say that does he steal or is that fucking stuff stealer the next guy? Just as he looks for things to steal so I imagine he steals them We got three more to go. There's next up on December 22nd, then leaves on January 4th, Doorway Sniffer, who has an enormous schnoz. This guy doesn't even make sense to me.

And an acute sense of smell. And he smells doorways as he searches, looking for the smell of leaf bread to take for himself, essentially. Okay, so let me interpret this then. Let me tell me if this is correct. There's some sort of Christmasy food that people love called leaf bread and it gets the whole house excited when it comes in the

house. And so those little dickhead kids that get all hype and like go stand by the door of the kitchen to get the cookies or whatever, it's the same kind of vibe. That's the door sniffer. Leek bread is exclusively for Christmas. Yep, it's a Christmas thing. It's very thin. Lent box print. Originated in Northern Iceland and now eaten throughout the country. It consists of a round, very thin, flat cakes

with a diameter of somewhere between six to eight inches decorated with leaf-like geometric patterns and fried briefly in hot tallow or oil, fried bread and it's like snowflakes a lot of them look like snowflakes basically looks really good. Okay. Never had it but I would have looks like a pop it off for sure right. Looks crispy. Yeah. It dead ass looks like a pop it off. Yeah, it looks delicious. All right, next, Yule Lad. And last of the, two more to go.

December 23rd, leaving just, fifth of January is none other than Meat Hook, who uses his hook to steal meat. To steal the meat. Yeah, he steals the meat. Meat Hook doesn't fuck around. Meat Hook is close to my heart. Meat Hook's somebody I am a lot.

Meat Hook gets it. These are all in you. You are made of the Yule Lads. You are the Yule Lads, yeah, yeah, yeah Mead Hooks, why are they called the lads? Cause he's a proper lad. And then the final one who shows up on Christmas Eve and then leaves on January 6th is Candle Beggar. He follows children to steal their precious candles

that are made of tallow and thus edible. He likes to eat their candles. What the fuck are we talking about here? Tallow is like a fat, like, you know, and he likes to eat. So, okay, but I know talking about here? Talo is like a fat like I you know and he likes to eat so okay But I know what Talo is but what I'm saying is like are there like some fucking Depraved Icelandic children out there who are like eating their fucking candles on Christmas because they smell like fucking McDonald's french fries I mean possibly like I guess it's a way of looking at it. Is that what we're fucking talking about right now? Like why does why is that guy one of the U.S.? What is that behavior?

We know what lifts- what fucking door sniffer does. We know why he's around. But the candle eater guy? He likes to eat the candles. I don't know. I don't know. I genuinely don't really know like why Uh, they have the candle thing going. And he leaves on January 6? Yeah, he arrives on Christmas Eve and then he leaves on January 6. Suspicious. Just saying. Suspicious. 6 yeah, he arrives on Christmas Eve and he leaves on January suspicious just saying suspicious That's it

Take away is this stuff to do that day? I already got burned by fucking Jimmy pesto, so don't do this to me again All right. All right. Let's move on from the Yule lads also obviously sorry drink avoid or eat the Yule lads Oh, I'm hanging out the whole night hanging out with. The Yule Lads. They are my guys. It'll be like Moulin Rouge in that kitchen. Good God, I don't know what to do. Moving on, this next one is away from the fanciful and more toward the deadly, the scoffin.

The scoffin is a rare and deadly creature, the offspring of a male cat and a female fox. It is said to be relentless and dangerous with a gaze that kills instantaneously. The scoffin is often associated with the desolate areas of Iceland and is considered to be, like many of the things, an ill omen. What are the parents again? A male cat and a female fox. What if it's a male cat and a female mouse what do you call that Terry it's illuminati no no no cuz that's Terry is female cat male mouse

female mouse male cat a berry Jerry I like it okay so wait but Tom and Jerry are both guys right are they are are they all right you're right yeah that's a good question yeah I don't know. Yeah, all right. Fair enough. That's the real mystery of today's episode. Asgothan is a lot like a basilisk too, because the legend of it is like,

the only way you can defeat it is by showing its own reflection, which causes it to kill itself via its own lethal gaze. Cause remember, if it sees you. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah. It's, it has to show itself.

It sees itself and it's like, no. It's not immune to, unlike creatures that are immune to its own poison, this thing is not immune to its lethal gaze. Cause remember, yeah, it's a show itself and it's like no It's not immune to unlike creatures that are immune to its own poison this thing is not immune to its lethal gaze because never see It looks you in the eyes you die. So that's like its biggest power Any other convention old roommates fear with dogs? Yeah. Yeah any other conventional means guns knives that note of it works That's the only fucking way to kill it No, I just trying to move on. I'm just trying to keep crawling.

This used to have a roommate who said he was afraid the dogs would take over his mind if you looked at him too long. The worst part is knowing that person and knowing exactly like, oh yeah, no, that's real. It's a real fear. Oh man. Like, I can hear it in the voice too, which is even funnier If you ever if you're like that kind of person listen, we love you. We hope you're doing good up there Keep listening to our show. We hope you're well there at the top of that thing. Yeah, we love you Other than that like that's it

It just has a deadly gaze and is basically unkillable unless you make it look at itself the scoffin is one that I imagine is a void. Just like it's sad, but yeah, like we there's nothing can be done. Like let's just be. Yeah. There's very little stories about it. I got one story where it's basically a hunter that accidentally bumped into him and he was witty and quick enough to whip out his own mirror and killed it that way because he remembered like that's the only story I could find on this thing so uh it seems like most people

avoid it anyway but yeah it's one of those that are just like rarely seen and will just kill you if you see it for some reason or another. Next up on the list boys as we get close to the end of this list is the Skellya Ski-ilj, also known as the shell monster. That's a little easier. Yeah, the shell monster is a legendary creature said to inhabit the coastal regions and fjords of Iceland. It's described as a colossal sea monster encrusted with shells, barnacles, and seaweed,

and it's often mistaken for a rocky outcrop when it remains motionless. Fishermen and sailors tell tales of encountering this thing during really foggy conditions and during storms where it's low visibility and the creatures believed to lure ships toward rocky shores by mimicking the appearance of safe harbors or calm waters leading to shipwrecks. It embodies the perils of sea and obviously is like a metaphor as a warning. It's interesting to me because this one seems to do two things. It's that typical story of like don't trust in your eyes in the storm

to you might going into rocky ground even if you don't realize it. But also it also sort of describes like the danger of like large rocky outcroppings in that area by, you know, being described as a sea monsters encrusted with all of those things and remains motionless, which could be a danger because as somebody who lived, you know, near beaches almost his entire life, slipping in like on those things on the rocky outcrop with some particles and shit, you gas your leg up so bad, you can hurt yourself so badly and so quickly out there that it just seems to serve a dual purpose, which is kind of cool because other than it being large and having the abilities of like luring

ships, that's it. That's all it is it's just giant this is what this is this is just from soft encapsulated it is a from soft giant octopus from elden ring yeah oh yeah that's the size of that thing yeah that's exactly what it is actually gnarly boy a big fucking profane cthulhu beast sea the origins of thing, basically legends talk about it being an ancient creature that was from the primordial sea during the creation of the world. That kind of origin has just been around forever, which is kind of neat. I would eat this thing though, personally. That's just, you know, same thing with everything.

It's just a play of dominance over it. It sounds like it could be like calamari. What's in there? What are we saying? What kind of morphology? Yeah, we don't know what's thing with everything. Display of dominance over it. Sounds like it could be like calamari. What's in there? What are we saying? What kind of morphology? We don't know what's under that shell. You're trying to crack it open. But the only way to find out is to crack it open. Best guess mollusk?

Yeah, like somewhere in that area. If we could cook this, you know what? Yeah, okay. Yes. You know what? All right. Fine. Yeah, you know what? I'll eat it. Okay. Yeah. I'll eat the fucking thing. What is it called? The shell monster? Yeah. I'll eat him.

Yeah. It's a shell monster. Yeah. I love it. You know what? Actually this helped me discover by doing this today. Um, that there's in fact the Icelandic sea monster museum and it's in Iceland and I really want to go. I want to go there. I really want to go. How did I not stumble across that when I was doing my research? That's crazy. All right, if you work at the Icelandic Sea Monster Museum, let's see how much budget, let's see how powerful the Scandinavian economy is. Can you get three podcasters from America, a place that used to exist in the past, if you're listening to this in the future,

from America, a place that used to exist in the past, if you're listening to this in the future, that, and get us out to Iceland so that before we go, we can watch the, we can check out the Icelandic Sea Monster Museum. I love that, get us out there. Iceland, I would love to see you not during a blizzard. That would be awesome. Oh, hey, I would love to see Iceland at all.

If it's a blizzard, if that's the only way you can get me in there, I'll take it. Now, boys, this is hearkening back to the beginning of the episode. The next cryptid is the shore laddie. There he is. In Icelandic folklore, it's name in Icelandic is Strandarstrakur, which is literally translated to beach boy or shore boy. Okay.

Okay. Hold on. Hold on. Can I guess? Can I guess? This is the 14th Yulad who went like on vacation and he's like when Santa does the Hawaiian shirt and the sunglasses kind of vibes and he just chills by the ocean and he picks fucking, I don't know, seagull poop out of the sea. He's the Yule lad that escaped the generational family trauma of Grila and moved on. Yeah, and then he started writing beautiful harmonies with his brothers in Hawthorne, California. Not necessarily all that far off though. I think you're giving him a kinder spin than he deserves.

Oh no. Because he's still got that Yule lad genes in him, right? That can't get quite out. He's not actually a Yule Lad that walked away. Fair, fair, fair, fair, fair. This guy, the Shore Laddy is usually depicted as a youthful spirit that can sometimes look elf-like who inhabits the shoreline,

especially in the more remote and uninhabited areas, as is most of these creatures. And this Shore Laddy is often associated with playful mischief and is known to interact with humans in both helpful and what else? Troublesome ways. Children playing near the shore might catch glimpses of him and he's said to leave a small treasure of treasure or trinkets for those who treat the beach with respect.

Respect. A lot of these they say. Yeah, exactly. I like this guy. Like anything crazy power wise, he can kind of become invisible or partially visible. He has influence over the tides, but he has like full control over like the waters like the Calabit mother or the Salmon mother tends to. And there are some who is as powerful as the Salmon or the

Halibut. That's true. That's true. And in some stories, he actually possesses the ability to heal minor injuries or ailments, especially those that are caused by the sea, like helping like injured sailors and stuff. So he's got to lot mischievous streak in him still. He's still a little bit playful, but he's not nearly as like you'll add like what does this guy look like? Because like a young, young, young, young boy. Also, like qualities, young Brian Wilson, every search I've done of this, it looks like a seal Man with four legs. I mean there are animals to two pictures I'm literally the the the Iceland stamp has an image of him and he looks like a seal man

Like a little see like this image right here is I don't know when this was made or who made this but this is how I This is my official canonical I don't know when this was made or who made this, but this is how I, this is my official canonical. This is the Alex Fosiani version. Is this the same fucking- Also, but here's the thing, like you're seeing that there's a lot of little things like a seal, but there are also depictions of him. There are also depictions of him as an otter and other little weasel like creatures.

Yeah, like a little rat guy. Because he can move through animal like shapes like fucking everything else can in these stories. Well, I love him. He looks awesome. Yeah, he's cool. I like Well, I love him. He looks cool. I like him I think my dogger I like this is what he looks like Is a it's like sheep like look Can have a like a dog like look to it too. But yeah, I would hang out with this guy for sure 100

those beautiful much nicer a Not much nicer. Okay. We're we got two more creatures boys. Are you ready? I'm more than ready next up Oh, it's birther It's birther. It's one of the more dar. Yeah Here again, I use like the translation program for this thing birth. That's how it's spelled. There you go What birther right? But what is what is this is? That's how it's spelled. There you go. Uitberther.

Right, but what is it? This is, the term translates to that which is taken outside, referring to the practice of infanticide by exposure, which was tragically not uncommon in the harsh conditions back then. And the Uitberther is a restless spirit or ghost of an infant who is left to die in the wilderness, often due to the poverty or shame of societal pressures. This is some witcher shit right now. It's dark shit, yeah.

These spirits are said to haunt the places where they perished, emitting eerie cries, or taking on even more grotesque forms to terrorize those who encounter them. The cry part reminds me of Death Stranding a little bit. BTs, you know, when you see the, that very much reminds me of it. And honestly Death Stranding is very Icelandic landscape. Interestingly enough.

Yeah. These, these are basically just the sad spirits of infants who were just left out into the cold to die. That's really what they are. Uh, avoid for me. I don't think they're old enough to drink. So honestly I'm drinking with them. F it. These guys need a drink. Yeah. So honestly, I'm drinking with them. F it these guys need a drink

Yeah, you know they had a rough afterlife. You know what? I'm just Guys, come on. Let's go. It's on me. That's a rounds on me. That's a very hellboy. That's a very hellboy play I'll take it. I like it. That's what hellboy would do. There's a next up is the Merman easy which is pretty straightforward sounding except it's more like the beast version of a merman the merman known in Icelandic as marmar fish head human like very close to that yeah as a significant figure in Icelandic maritime folklore and unlike the romanticized mermaids of other cultures the merman here is a gross motherfucker he's kind of a grosser motherfucker damn right because he's a upper body of a man, lower body of a fish, sometimes with additional

aquatic features like fins, scales, gills. And it's believed that these things dwell in the depths of the ocean, but occasionally will swim upward to interact with fishermen. They possess apparently the deep knowledge of the sea. They even can see future events and they know where hidden treasures of the sea are. They can, like many other things, shapeift into marine life to feel or to appear fully human. And it has the ability, like another a lot of these things, to calm the storms or stir up the sea. And they can communicate telepathically or through haunting songs very similar to sirens that influence human emotions.

similar to sirens that influence human emotions very specifically it seems to be about influencing emotions and not necessarily drawing them deeper into the waters which i feel like is an analog of just being out at sea for a long time and like i imagine losing your fucking mind just because you're just surrounded by water and just like the same people for months at a time in folklore though this is often the the Merman is often captured accidentally in fishing nets. If treated kindly, he offers valuable information, warning about impending storms, or guidance to abundant fishing grounds. However, if he's mistreated when he's caught, he can curse the fishermen or bring misfortune upon them. Some stories even portray him as a guardian of the sea, ensuring humans do not over exploit marine resources, very similar to the Salmon Mother or Halibut Mother.

Others depict him as a solitary figure embodying the mysteries and allure of the ocean depths equally in its mystery and in its danger. Yeah, so that's the Merm Man. He's an interesting dude that I feel like if you treated him, if you had a beer with with him He'd probably see that as treating him. Well, you accidentally screw up in the fishing net and you're like, yo, sorry about that homie beer Hey, yo Can I depede the ocean I'm so sorry about that. I hope you weren't around for that. All right, we all pee in the ocean Oh my man He's in the ocean. Cheers my Cheers, Merman. Bottoms up. This bud's for you, Merman. This bud's for you.

This unsweetened giant-sized Popeye's Ice Tea is for you, Merman. This is the Vatna Gita. This thing means water pike and is a legendary creature believed to inhabit the freshwater lakes and rivers of Iceland. It's described as nothing more than a monstrous pike. If you look at pictures of this thing, it's basically a mythically humongous pike.

Like the fish? It's already huge. Yes, like the fish. This thing is feared by fishermen and those living near these bodies of water. It's often depicted with razor sharp teeth, glowing eyes, and a voracious appetite that's capable of devouring livestock, pets, and even humans who venture too close to the water. And the creature is sometimes blamed

for unexplained drownings or the disappearances of pets or animals, or like what they were taking care of. Basically, this thing is really quickly, it's really quick, it moves really quick, it moves really quietly, and it's just giant. And it has some amphibious abilities, because in some of the stories that I read This thing was able to survive on land for short periods Extending its threat past the lake like chasing peeped like fishermen

Up off the shores out of the lake before turning around and going back and apparently it also has the ability to regenerate from its heels Very quickly like it just heals itself very quick quickly. Like it just heals itself very quick. Hold the phone. Jesse has an idea. And it's the kind of idea that would turn this poor fish into some sort of like super villain forever food, dude, forever. Right? In my mind, my evil corporation, we kidnapped this guy. Yep. And we keep him in the water and we cut pieces off the cell, but then we let it grow back and we cut off more pieces of cell. I'd be I'd be a very evil man

Wolverines done that to survive Yeah, man, I mean fair yeah true right like Survive yeah, it would it would stop world hunger Like just cuz it's awesome to do Trust up this beautiful world serpent fish like a fucking factory farm sow Yeah slice me off of it for all time We're the baddies bro. Oh The villains here in this story. Yeah, humanity is fucked. You think we're just all screwed. That's a Doctor Who episode right there.

Yeah, um and there have been times people have taken pictures of like big creatures claiming it was it but a lot of the times they end up just being like the Greenland shark Which they just mistake for what this thing this thing is. That thing as well to be fair that thing is fucking amazing Yeah, it's cool shit The Greenland shark alone is cool. Now. This is not all of the Icelandic cryptids boys But this is a very big taste of them. The rest are still very fish inspired But that is what we're gonna. Yeah, I there's a lot of these that you would eat I'd eat that big boy delicious god damn but I feel like we would piss off the salmon and halibut no way salmon queen and a salmon

mother we're fine halibut eaten eaten but if we start doing this to the pike I feel like they might be mad they got no qualms with the pikes they oh no in this scenario the pike I'm an evil executive and I am making money at Pike Corp. And Pike Corp, we just kidnapped this pike, put it in water and we feed the world off of it. And everyone thinks we're good, but really we're secretly evil. Merman's going to take you out. Merman and Shoreletty, his sidekick, are going to come take you out.

As long as I can at some point during the thing be like, guards, more guards, then I'll be fine. No one will get my prize fish, no one. You'll never defeat me, Shoreletty. My golden calf fish. If we are the corporate CEO villain in the story, you think we could clone the Pike and create like genetically

despicable not like futuristic weird okay literally just cutting pieces off the same pike and it regrows this is like a friend gully shit we're fucking So that 50 years into our corporation, some leg low level entry employee feels bad for the pike and his hero story begins as he starts to stop us from the inside. Yeah. That's free Willy. That's it. You're right. But it's a pike.

So when that dude frees him, that pike's eating his ass and yeah, it's ugly as shit compared to for like a whale alright boys. That's where we close the chapter or the book rather on Icelandic cryptids Hope you guys enjoyed we're off to go do a mini soda over at patreon.com slash Illuminati pod We've done a lot of countries a lot of different creatures, and I really Iceland's probably one of my favorites I just enjoy the fish theme that ran through all of it One of my favorites. I just enjoy the fish theme that ran through all of it. Except for the roulette. Delicious.

And get ready for another creature feature next week. No spoilers. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot and then I remembered. Oh, okay. All right. We're off to feature.com. Slash Luminatpod to go to a mini-sode.

Thank you guys so much for supporting us. We will see you next week. We appreciate you. We love you. Goodbye. Bye. Anyway, me and my wife were sitting outside indulging on our porch one night, enjoying ourselves.

I needed to go to the bathroom, so I stepped back inside and after a few moments, I hear my wife go, holy shit, get out of here. So I quickly dash back outside. She's looking up at the sky in awe. I look up too, and there's a perfect line of dozen lights traveling across the sky. I'm gonna be a good boy I'm gonna be a good boy I'm gonna be a good boy I'm gonna be a good boy

I'm gonna be a good boy I'm gonna be a good boy I'm gonna be a good boy I'm gonna be a good boy I'm gonna be a good boy I'm gonna be a good boy I'm gonna be a good boy I'm gonna be a good boy

I'm gonna be a good boy I'm gonna be a good boy Thanks for watching! you