Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 312: Untold Tales of LA with Brett Bayonne

Episode Date: August 24, 2025

LA is almost done! This week Mike, Alex and Jesse have friend of the show Brett Bayonne join them to talk about his own weird (or lack of weird) life and the ones you all shared with us! Brett: https://x.com/shaperofstories http://www.chilluminatipod.fm MERCH - http://www.theyetee.com/collections/chilluminati Thank you to - Factor: http://www.factormeals.com/chill50off Code: chill50off Ghostbed: http://www.ghostbed.com/chill All you lovely people at Patreon! HTTP://PATREON.COM/CHILLUMINATIPOD Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - http://www.youtube.com/user/superbeardbros Editor - DeanCutty http://www.twitter.com/deancutty Show art by - https://twitter.com/JetpackBraggin http://www.instagram.com/studio_melectro

Hello, everybody and welcome back to the Chaluminati podcast, episode 312. As always, I'm one of our hosts. Mike Martin joined today on my own personal Ryu Ken Nakuma. from L.A., Jesse, Alex, and special get, Rep Bayonne. How's it going, man? Welcome to the show. Thank you so much. I can't wait to figure out which of those characters I am.

I want to know. Yes, that's the challenge. Yeah. And I also want to thank you guys for inviting me onto the show. Thank you. And I want to say thank you to whomever you actually did want to get for this episode that couldn't make it today. Thank you.

Now, this is, this is all, this is all part of my secret plan. Guys, if you don't know who Brett is, he's a comedian, he's a writer, he's a YouTube person, he's from Los Angeles, California. He's been doing improv comedy for like two decades, including as the director of the storied and excellent college team company at Comedy Sports LA for several years. He's written for and acted in tons of stuff you've probably seen online, including Black C-3PO, the Street Fighter Shorts, Matador, and Ballrog behind the glory, and countless episodes of the long-running, that one video gamer show, The Completionist, where we also started working together on a show we both still put out like almost every day of our goddamn lives, along with our editor. Ted, Super Beard Bros. He's been so requested, so asked for us, so he's finally here. So that's really cool. Right.

Your name has popped up many a time over the years. Really? Okay. I got a big family. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was actually kind of surreal. I don't, I can't remember if I've ever heard you like write a bio for me.

That was strange, man. Because we've known each other for a long time. It was very strange. Like, what do you, what do you think of me professionally? So, I'm, uh, I'm really disappointed. I'm very disappointed in what you're doing. Yeah, that's okay. That's okay.

I, I'm glad that, uh, I'm glad that, I'm glad that I was able to write it. Yeah, I'm glad you made it through. Yeah. Um, so the question we always ask everybody on the show is like, the reason we think Shulimani works is that because math is kind of like molder and Jesse's kind of like scully and I'm kind of like Tony Shalub from Galaxy Quest kind of. in terms of energies. So which,

what, where, where on that spectrum do you think you fall? You already know the answer to that. And I'm wondering if, if you guys know where I am on that spectrum. I would immediately put you as a Jesse.

I'd put you as a major skeptic. No, no, no. I think Brett not just believes, but like believes, believes, like,

has seen me stuff. Both of you guys got to tell me why you think what you think first. It's that. immediate, cynic, comedy tone that you've got, that underlying cynicism behind everything you say. Okay. I'm, yeah, I give off the vibes of a pure asshole. Understood.

Yeah, exactly. You got it correct. I think it's because of the exact same reason, because you've seen stuff, man. And so you don't have time for the, the world that we see before us. You are existing on another level. And you said you've known Alex a long, long time. does Alex already know the answer? Alex has, if he's paying any sort of attention,

he definitely knows the answer. I'm almost positive that I know the answer to this question. Okay. So here's the thing in a way, I think you guys are like both right. And by that I mean, Jesse, you're very,

very wrong. I'm sorry. I don't believe in a guy. I was going for it. I appreciate that. No, I don't believe in a goddamn thing. You know me,

man. Like, I would love to see, I would love to see some. evidence. That's all. And you know I knew what you were going to say because in my script I have it written. That said, has anything notoriously inexplicable happened to you or your family or anyone you know? Is there like a go-to story that you know about? Uh, I once ate like 40 chicken wings and I didn't drop dead. So that was something. That was a little thing. Yo, that's like genuinely

that's pretty paranormal. That's when I was young and beautiful though. Right off the top of my head, no uh i'm trying to think of my family and i keep thinking of that quote from ghostbusters my uncle thought he was saint jerome uh but uh not so much man like you know you hear stuff here and there but like a lot of the stuff that i hear is actually like maybe fourth or fifth hand account and i go like okay like i can't put any sort of stock in this whatsoever so uh i I'm going to go ahead and say, not only have I not seen evidence of anything supernatural, despite me, like, being really open to it, like, show me, show me the money. I'd really love to see it.

Despite that, not only that, I, I don't even, I can't even think of anyone who's told me, like, no, dude, this happened to me, you know? Question. What's your alien vibe? You're like, do I believe? I mean, just on, like, there's a spectrum of belief in aliens where they're like, they're here and they're probing us versus. we exist in a massive universe and there must be something else out there on that massive

spectrum yeah where would you say you fall definitely on the latter side like i believe just based on pure math there's got to be something out there as far as intelligent life goes and i understand like the odds of that being very very low uh like you know in terms of like i guess you would call it like per capita right sure uh but like the odds of it us being the only intelligent life has got to be extremely low just based on the odds And as far as, like, aliens being among us, come on, guy, come on. Like, it's a whole, you don't want to do this. No, it's just that like, I think if, I think this is a very easy one to kind of dismiss because

when you think about how dumb we are as a people, uh, to the idea that like everyone who involved would be able to keep that secret is very funny to me. That's where I would say they haven't been able to. There's a ton of it that's leaked and they're really good at just making the UFO topic to laugh. This is a circular argument. It's going to take us the rest of the episode. It will take us episodes. This sounds like the lack of evidence is not the, you know, you know, I just, I feel like

for every quote unquote piece of evidence that's leaked, I'm like, why do we still have shaky cam footage of Bigfoot? This is bullshit. Like in this day and age, if I feel like if they were among us, among us, come on. They should have snite that guy ages ago. If they were among us, among us, there should have been a prostitute who would have been like, his dick is wrong. I've seen it.

And like, we would, like, we would. like we would have seen it like him and like him in like some clothes just trying to make it work for the money like one alien grunt whose job it is just a shitty job undercover here would have gotten a little too toasty one night and wanted to get his two dicks wet what if and then like something would have slipped out like let me pause it what if humans aren't special and we're not being interacted with we're merely being observed from a distance now that I can believe because I agree with you if they're mingling among something would have happened by now in a way that's undeniable of like a video of an alien

dick being whipped out or whatever and the best we have is a camera glitch that says Obama's like a reptilian I just don't want to I just have all the alien artifacts though dick whip is not something I want to see the dick whip dude that's undeniable that is undeniable though it's not undeniable no well here's a here's the question that I have for skeptics is what about aesthetically what's your favorite oh that's a good question like what's your favorite like aesthetically as in like, that's the most interesting or aesthetically isn't like this is most pleasing to the eye. Yeah, like, what sector

of the like paranormal conspiracy unexplained world to you is the most attractive just from like a pure imagination I think I know. I think I know. Hit me, Jesse. Hit me then. All right, I think I know what your answer is. Goulds. Like in the mood

very specifically. I'm like, what do you mean? Like, you mean zombies? No, no, no. Cool, dude. In the movies, ghost. Those shadow people that pulled the bad guys down to hell? Oh, my dude.

They took him. They took him. They took fucking, uh, oh, man, they took Carl. They took fucking Eddie. It was bad, dude. They come from the street and they go, and they grab them and pull you. As a four-year-old in my aunt's house, I was terrified because them shadows, they sound like me as a 40-year-old man getting up in the morning. They go, uh-huh.

You know? I know my guess is. I think. That's my guess. I know what I think you like. I think it's vampires. Okay. A vampire fan? It's kind of like, this is like just off the, this is just off the dome right now.

Shoot from the, it's like the matrix of fantasy. Interesting. Yeah. Like modern, you know, like the Mathis vampires, like the vampire, the masquerade. Oh, okay. I was like, yeah, vampire the masquerade. Or like blade. I see what you're saying.

I mean, look, if there's one like supernatural. being that I had like if I okay if the world was a prison and it's my first day and I have to join a gang to survive I will try my best to like curry favor with the puffy shirt vampires yes yeah yeah yeah like who else is like has that combination of like both living luxuriously and also still kind of looking pretty yeah yeah and I'm I'm soft what can I say I did not take you for an Astorian but like now all right I get it but but here's the thing I don't think that's the most interesting one to me like that's just like if I had to be one, that's what I would be. But like, the thing that interests me most

is any sort of concept of like, just because I was like, I'm not a Catholic, but I was raised Catholic. So like any sort of, any sort of like a Judeo-Christian mythology just like fascinates me utterly. Because like the saints are demigods essentially. Yeah, some of them do semi like kind of worship saints in some parts of the world. It's a little weird. And like, you know, that mythology, like I, you know, I've just ingested a lot of it like the same. why I ingested a lot of like marble in D.C. It's the same thing to me, like, just sitting in the back of my mind. Yeah.

So when it pops up in pop culture and even when you hear certain things like, yo, like in Mexico, it's stigmata, you know what I mean? And I'm like, word, okay. Oh, shit. Like, I'm just, I'm not saying I believe. I just like, oh, that's kind of interesting. Same thing when you like read that way. I'm sure you guys saw that fucking website where like somebody compiled an extensive list

detailing all of the evidence that Trump is probably the Antichrist. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It just keeps going. It's amazing. It is weird as somebody who's raised Catholic. Like you were to see Trump and know the Bible as well as I do and be like, I don't get how they aren't seeing the very obvious parallels here. Like this dude is hitting all the box.

Every mark. You're like, okay. All right. He even has a gold like thing in his in his hotel to represent power and shit. I'm like, it's not even like, once again, I don't believe in that stuff. Same. But I'm like, all y'all out there who do believe, like, this has got to be wild for you, right? It's nuts.

It's actually nuts, actually. But also, that's kind of like how that stuff works, right? It's like, Nostradamus type stuff. Right. It's like kind of like you're like, right. But if you weren't team ghoul, you wouldn't have to worry about that. I'm just saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The rest of our relations hasn't happened yet. What do you mean? Now I'm curious, when you say ghoul, who are you from pop culture are you picturing? Oh, you know, like, uh, like, Charlie Day. Yeah, I mean, man, what was the good one? Yeah, like, you talk about Fallout ghoul? No, just like, you know, Charlie Day. Like a ghoul.

Just a... Like the man? Yeah. Just like a... Sort of tweak out man? Yeah, like a gould. Oh, got it. So just like...

Like a thug. Like a goon. No, not, no, not a goon. Like a lug. A gul. A gul. Like a, like a... Not a ghost.

Not a goblin. A ghoul. You're like a... You're like an old lady at a casino. talking about another person at the casino who makes you upset. Look at that ghoul over there. No, I don't know what I'm talking.

You know, ghouls, man, ghouls. Why should I have to explain it? Everyone knows that a ghoul is. You're right, of course. My bad. I'm just messing with you. We all know what a ghoul is. Yes, yes.

Even in Vampire the masquerade, ghoul means something different. A ghoul of the masquerade is a human who drinks vampire blood and gets immortal mortality and gets power. No, look, a ghoul for real is, if you've ever played like Warcraft 3 back in the day, the dudes who crawled on the ground.

Yeah, like their tongues hanging out. Which are three style kind of ghouls? Yeah, goals, man. Goals. Of course. Yeah, to me, a ghoul, when I hear a ghoul, I picture number one, Charlie Day. Right. And then after that, I picture like a, like a zombie, like definitely an undead thing, but it has, it has sapiens, like it knows.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's nimble. Like a thrall. Like, it works for somebody. It works for somebody. yeah but he has like a personality yeah but he like he doesn't stumble like a zombie not necessarily he might but not necessarily no not necessarily thank you so much to factor for sponsoring today's episode we are still very much in the midst of summer but we're at that part of summer where you can

kind of see the end of it it's like on its way and for a lot of people including me that means things are about to get so much busier than they already are and summer is pretty dang busy and for me that sometimes means I got maybe a handful of minutes a day to get some food in me. And that's where Factor can help me eat smarter with tasty, chef-prepped meals that are dietitian approved and delivered directly to my doorstep. And now, with more than 65 weekly meals made for how I live and what I like to eat, I've got even more ways to fit an actual meal wherever the day takes me for the day. With Factor, you get to choose from a wider selection of weekly meal options,

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That's code Chill 50 off 50 in the middle with the 50 at Factor Meals. for 50% off plus free shipping. Get delicious ready to eat meals delivered with Factor. Goals. We don't talk about ghouls enough, as all I'm saying, and I wanted to bring that into the forefront of this episode. Yes, you're welcome to do a whole episode topic on ghouls if you think you got one. There's not enough information on girls.

I don't really know much about them actually. Should we start over? I know. We need to begin again. Forget about, forget about LA month. It's time for ghoul month. Each week, we're going to learn one more D.C. tale about a ghoul, and we're going to break it down.

No, the real reason that Brett is here today is because he, like many of us here, who have been on the show this month, are from Los Angeles. And it's a month all about L.A. Everybody thinks it's a joke, but I mean, it's not. It's just a month about topics that have to do with L.A. and L.A. related things. I don't know if anybody's picked up in the seven years of doing this, but Alex fucking loves his home city of L.A.

I love L.A. That's it. And L.A. is going through time right now, and so it's L. L.A. month. I'm sorry. Did you guys just do that on purpose? He said, I love L.A., and then Mathis, you said he loves it. Yeah, did I?

No, yeah, probably. They worked on that for, like, five weeks. I was like, look at that amount. The fact you put it out is, thank you. Look at those trees. No, I'm just like, if they did that, like, on purpose, that was so smooth. That was really good. I don't give away our comedy secrets in this show.

I don't believe that Mathis has the cultural literacy to make that joke. That's my, that's my take on this. Hey, how dare you? What makes you think I have no cultural literacy? I didn't say that you don't have any cultural literacy. literacy. I said you don't have the cultural literacy to make a Randy Newman based joke. That's my. Yeah, I know who he is. Yeah. He's that ghoul, right? Yeah, he's that ghoul. He's that ghoul. He's the

song from Toy Story. Yeah. So I said watch this space during L.A. month because it's the place where we make L.A. month related announcements. And that announcement this week is at the live call-in show, which is going to literally be like Mathis, Jesse and I live together in studio in Los Angeles, coast to coast AM style, features guest appearances from L.A.'s own spooky foodie and returning favorites, L.A.'s other mysterious, funny show. Let's get haunted. And we're going to have calls from you, the listener, on the show at home. And it's going to be at noon Pacific on Saturday, August 30th, live on our YouTube channel at Chulamati Pod. and also itself has lots of fun new surprises in store during it,

like announcing the first release from the Chulamini Office of Stamps and Stickers, each of which showcases a dope artist that we love through a set of giant... Where did we get funding for that new brand? It's just a, it's an ever-widening gyre, the structure of the Chiluminati. But yeah, there's big giant stickers that they're going to be in like a top secret envelope. You don't get to see exactly what they are until you get it. but it's all about the artist we're showcasing a different artist every time we're going to reveal which artist it is uh live during the show um the stickers themselves are going to drop on

patreon immediately they're going to go live the next day for uh everybody else they're really going to be some big cool stickers um and we're going to do this of you know from time to time to show off another cool artist that we like because we think that's a cool thing as soon as you hear this pop over to the youtube channel subscribe to it you'll see the stream scheduled there under our live events you can follow it and stuff hopefully any questions you have will be answered in the description uh but calling in is going to involve discord and it's going to be very simple and require only a mic and headphones if you want to call in so get that ready beforehand if you want the best chance of getting through and again just get ready call in special Saturday the 30th

it's going to be at noon it's going to be live on shuluminati pod on youtube link in the description directly to the live stream will be added once this episode is live so you'll be able to do it right there. And now, Brett, Jesse, Mathis, it's time for LA listener stories. The whole reason that we hear today, which, for old time's sake, we'll start with a letter from one Alice May Williams on a warm July day in New Zealand sometime in the early 1920s to doctors Edison Petit and Seth B. Nicholson of the Mount Wilson Observatory just north of Pasadena, which will help us set the tone for today's readings. And it comes to us courtesy from a great little exhibit from a Los Angeles gem, and in my opinion, a must-visit living novel of a museum,

the Museum of Jurassic Technology. That place is wild, man. I think my first time visiting you in L.A. years ago, you took me there. Yeah, it's not anything like what your first impression of it is based off the name. There's no dinosaurs in sight. There are weird teeth, though. That's true. There are a lot of weird teeth.

Very much in the same weird spirit as this show is that museum. This exhibit that I'm going to be reading from today is called No One May Ever Have the Same Knowledge Again, Letters to Mount Will. And I'm reading it in LA month today because I want to raise awareness of the fact that they've just had a pretty nasty fire over there at the Museum of Jurassic technology. Possibly was even arson. I don't know. And they could use all the help they can get. So if you want to help, I'm going to direct you to a great write-up by Lawrence Weschler, which will give you some more background on this surreal and interesting place and show you different ways you can assist.

The link is going to be in the description for that. And anyway, here we go. LA listener stories from the 20s. Auckland, Tuesday, July 7, sometime in the early 20s. Dr. Edison Petit, Dr. Seth B. Nicholson, Dear gentlemen, some weeks ago I wrote you a letter, not having yet heard from you, I was wondering if you received my letter I wrote you from Home I. Since, I have shifted from Homey to Auckland, so I thought I would send you my new address.

I want to tell you, I am not after any money, and I am not a fraud. I believe I have some knowledge which you gentlemen should have. If I die, my knowledge may die with me, and no one may ever have the same knowledge again, because if people hear talking, they want stick. They go and they do away with themselves. I have gone through frightful things. Still, I go through it, and I am beginning to get knowledge. I would write down and tell you what I know,

but I would sooner wait till I hear from you, because you are both strangers to me, and my letter may go astray. When one writes one, needs peace and quietness. I have got half a house with another woman some years older. She will not let me sit quite a moment. It is terrible. She keeps wanting to be to know the ins and outs of everything. She keeps running up and down the stairs, in and out of the doors,

slamming them about and keeps wanting to talk and keeps wanting me to get ready to go out. It is awful. I don't know whether I am standing on my head or feet, and still I am going through that treatment, I told you. At times, something works my mouth to talk out loud, and I have got to be careful of her hearing as she thinks I am mad and makes all sorts of fun of me to people. So in a few weeks, I may have a little house of my own, and in the meantime, I may hear news of you people, and then I will be able to sit down and write quietly without interference. You know yourself if people interfere with you. You can't do your work properly. I do want to tell you something because the entrance into the other world is worked different to what you ever thought

and you will get a shock. When I tell you, I don't want no money from you. It won't do you no harm to have my knowledge. So now I will conclude hoping you gentlemen are living and in the very best of health as I hear that people are dying in America with the very hot weather they are having. I remain your sincerely, Alice Williams, P.S., please excuse writing and mistakes as this lady is worrying me to get ready to go out. Please keep my letter secret till I tell you what I know, then you can do what you like, AW. So that was just a little taster. And just a reminder to support the Jurassic, the Museum of Jurassic technology, because they are dealing with the fire. Links in the description. Now, before we go any further, I should reveal that

this was supposed to be like a triple synergy thing. We were supposed to have Brett on the show, and we were supposed to have Kurt on the show, Kurt Maloney, who we know from Dropout and who Brett and I know from many years of our lives. He was supposed to be the other guest because he's a very a good friend from back in the improv days. He's currently guesting full time, like a full series on Super Beard Bros. We're playing Trine together. It's like a co-op game.

We're having a lot of fun with Kurt. But he's not here today because he had to fly up to Seattle to be in a short film at last second, which honestly is like pretty, pretty L.A. That's pretty cool. Very L. So he'll be back on a different episode,

which is fine and acceptable and nice of him even. But also, luckily, you are not left totally surpriseless today since as a bonus, today's first proper story doubles as a little hello message from another friend of the show who also lives in this crazy city with us and who's worked a bunch with literally everyone here including Brett

that's Michael Santell and we'll play that for the audience now even though he hasn't recorded the message just yet and here it is and like I said Dean I'm not going to we're not going to actually play but I am going to read you guys the letter

so we can talk about the subject the topic of it this happened to me in Pekoyma a part of the San Fernando Valley it was a Saturday morning, sometime between 2011 and 2014 while I was replaying Duke Newcomb 64. I was in my room when a sudden white flash caught my attention from outside my window.

The flash was incredibly bright, enough to pierce through my heavy curtains, almost as if somebody was trying to shine a short of sort of lead floodlight into my room. Its position was slightly above my neighbor's home, a single-story house. The direction itself was to the northwest of me towards San Fernando proper.

After about a second or two, the flash was followed by an incredible boom, that rattled the whole house. Admittedly, that's not hard to do since overhead helicopters regularly do the same, but the explosion was certainly out of the norm. I then made my way out into the street and saw plenty of other neighbors outside. They too were looking for a source, although we never got an answer. To this day, I liken what happened to someone throwing a flashbang into the air for the lulls.

And there you go. So that was Santel. Thank you to Ghostbed for sponsoring today's episode. genuinely the coldest, coolest pillow I have ever slept on in my entire life. Listen, some things in life are hard to explain anyway. Like when you suddenly woke up at 3.33 a.m. or why you're still waking up with a sore back, even though your mattress isn't that old. Ghostbed can't solve every mystery.

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That is weird. I sounds like a low, maybe could a low flying jet, like, do something like that? I don't know what it would be. That's what I thought. I was like,

he's all light. Like breaking the sound barrier? I mean, not necessarily breaking the sound. I guess, yeah, that would be really, I mean, it can,

but it would have to be like a F-16 or something, I guess. There's a lot of weird stuff that happens in L.A. Mm. and I mean, fuck that's where I had my first fucking sighting. When I used to live over in Marina del Rey, boats would explode all the time. What?

Look up the news articles. This one guy had explosives on his boat, and the boat blew up. Okay. So, like, usually what happens when you would just be sitting there and you hear like, and you'd be like, what the hell? And then you'd see the news article that said, like, yeah, some guy's boat exploded. You're like, oh, okay. maybe they were filming a lethal weapon sequel maybe with charlie day oh shit a regular ghoul like charlie day

right uh here's the thing pecoima san fernando valley these areas are kind of like i wouldn't say they're like rural and remote but they're a lot less populated than like most of l.a that you're thinking about and i don't know like stuff happens like people like i you know i you know i don't know, like, people that, like, go on their property and, like, fire guns or go, like, you know, I don't know, light fire crackers in the middle of the day or, like, do some kind of weird thing where they, like, fill a barrel with hay and blow it up or some dumb shit like that, because they just have the space to do it, like, relatively safely, you know, uh, it really could be somebody throwing a flash bang in the air.

Like, I, like, if it came with a flash, it's that or other, other theory, maybe it's a transformer explosion, which if you have a, seen one oh my god is a scary fucking thing and does indeed make a big sound in a flash yes i live in texas for uh the context brett uh the last thunderstorm we had and it was just a fucking thunderstorm the transformer exploded three times big blue explosion that just it sounds like a crack and a boom i could see it on my window and then maybe two minutes later electricity would come on for about 10 seconds for boom and it would happen again it's fucking insane If you've never seen it, it's a big blue explosion.

It's wild. I'm like, I don't know if it's a good idea or not to like make some sort of joke about like Optimus Prime or not. I'm really trying to figure it out. Like, I don't know. Is that like, is the fruit too low hanging at that point? I don't know. I don't know if you know our show, man. Yeah, low hanging fruits are where we operate.

No hanging fruit just sounds like fucking nuts to me, dude. banging like yeah don't worry about it all right yeah I will say that like in all seriousness I was like very pleasantly surprised

by the end of Santel's story where he's like and here's a completely reasonable explanation bye bye yeah yeah I'm like oh yeah thanks I've had many conversations for Santel

and I'm always the one being in this it's wild it's me I'm just like I don't know man that's a bit out there of an like a assumption love the man of death He will jump to aliens faster than I do. Yeah, I've heard his theory sometimes.

And so that's why I was surprised to be like, I guess it could have been a flash right. Like, you know, I'll agree. You know, when you're out in that area where people have all that space and all that time, you know, people just do stuff, you know. So, yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if it was just somebody messing around with something, whether it's official or an official, you know. Yeah, exactly.

And you know what? Nice concise story, too. not too much speculation, which I appreciate. I was honestly, when you said Santella was like, oh, boy. I was like, what are we going to get? I was very interesting. I just gave it to him because it says Duke Nukem 64 in it. Is that a bad reason?

I feel like that's a good reason to give it to Sancombe. I'm surprised anyone was playing 64 version of Duke Nukem. Between 2011 and 2014 is like the weirdest time. I mean, yeah, that's a fun. That's like a weird. That's already, that's like a 20 year. I don't know exactly when that game came out, but it was a long time. Next one is for Mathis.

Here we go. Here you go, dude. Thanks, bro. This is from Entire Resolution 36. Most of my weird is from when I lived in Appalachia. Appalachia, I think so people say it. But when you live the lifestyle, I do, weird, it tends to follow you everywhere. Aside from seeing a wraith or Lairona on a Halloween night, which was just a blink and

isn't much of a story, I want to talk about the time I'm pretty sure I saw an actual real vampire. Oh, shit. Okay. That's a big claim. Everyone in Los Angeles knows that West Hollywood loves to throw a huge parade party, in this case the big Halloween party. Party was over, or at least my limit of willingness to participate in it was, and I was dragging my exhausted, sore, exhilarated carcass up the hill to my car because, Satan

forbid anywhere in L.A. have sensible parking. I saw him, off to the side, sitting on a low stone wall. I almost missed him. I actually had to do a double take because at first my eyes wanted to just slide off of him. He was tall, thin, not so much sat, but folded on the wall. He wore a crisp black suit, but there were two qualities that stood out. He was extremely pale, like not just makeup, not just a naturally pale person. He was almost translucent, almost glowing in the moonlight.

And the other thing was that the shadows seemed to breathe around him, seemed to mold to him, as if waiting for something. There was an instinctive dread, a sense of preternatural awe and fear, a sense of walking past a predator that hadn't he had decided you were worth hunting walked past him did a mental huh pretty sure that wasn't a human and went home did this guy just see a did this guy see a gay person for the first time this like Corey Feldman in the night yeah did you see the guy that played powder like what what's interesting about this is if this was like L.A um I'd have plenty of experiences like this yeah exactly he said it's in West Hollywood in and out drive or not in now drive through the, the, uh, Apollo loco drive-thew, oh, yeah, Elpoa loco, uh, the, uh, bird man that was like

hunched over like a bird with feathers on on the street corner. Like, if it's LA, that's, that's on a weekend. Yeah, on we and we ho. That might be somebody out there. Yeah. I've, I've seen plenty of stuff. Yeah. I mean, I know you've seen a couple things, Jesse. But the thing is, is I am just convinced it's an, it's a person in L.A. being L.A. weird. Not like I saw an actual frog man. It was the dude who dressed up like the guy from X-Men 1. We all have our own little movie we're starring in in Los Angeles. You know what I mean? Yeah.

We're all doing our thing. That's how it feels sometimes. Yeah. And speaking of people in L.A. that, you know, we know and stuff like that. This next one is for Brett and just happens to be from a super fan of the show called Poca Kelse. So here we go. I'll read this. So Kelly says, I call this one the devil in the streetlights.

and I solemnly swear it's true presented for your approval I moved to L.A. in 2016. I didn't like it at first. It was too big and sprawling and I didn't understand where anything was in relation to one another. I've lived here nine years now and found the love.

L.A. is a beautiful and unique city that takes some time to understand, but is worth the relationship. I don't remember exactly what year this happened. It must have been between 2016 and 2018 because it was before COVID, and back when I had my previous dog. So my dog Wallace got into the trash a lot of the time, and it would upset his stomach

sometimes. He staunchly refused to learn his lesson, and now that he's gone, I even miss his misbehaviors. So this story happens on one such night when Wallace had gotten to the trash and had terrible diarrhea for the rest of the evening. He had woken me up twice already to be taken outside our apartment complex shared front yard. And so when I felt the tap tap of his paw on the side of the bed, I knew, okay, He needed to go and poop his buns out again. So it was just past 4 a.m.

And I hate being awake at 4 a.m. I put on a jacket and junk shoes and took him down the steps to the grass, sleepily blinking in the dark as he sniffed around and chose a spot to take shit. I stood with him for a minute until I felt something odd. It was the undeniable feeling that someone was watching me. I became suddenly alert and looked up and out towards the street. my horror across the street in the perpendicular alleyway that runs past our building, standing perfectly centered underneath a streetlight, was an older man with shaggy gray hair

poking out from underneath a black cowboy hat that made his face completely unseeable in the shadow. He was standing there facing me motionless. And then from behind a dumpster just a few feet away from him, a huge black shepherd-like dog lumbered out and joined the man sitting next to him and staring directly at me. When this happened, a little voice in my head said so clearly, that's the devil. I'm not religious and don't really believe in the devil,

but my blood ran cold and the feeling that he was not. not a normal person was so strong and immediate that I have never forgotten it. I scooped up my dog, didn't know or care if he had gone to the bathroom or not, and I ran up the stairs and locked every lock on the door. I jumped into bed and woke up Alex, shaking it and asking if he could just hold me for a minute because the fear I was feeling was overpowering. I had never seen a man or a dog like that in our neighborhood and never have sense. Logic dictates that it was just an old man walking his dog late at night.

But I see people doing that all the time and none of them ever gave me that sinking horror feeling, that absolute certainty that this devil was watching me from beneath the streetlight and I had to get the fuck out of there immediately. Was it the hat man? Was the dog the, was the dog the grim? Was it the devil? I'll never know. Much love to you all.

Kells. You remember that night, Alex? I do. Because she tells the story a lot because it really scared the shit out of her in a real way. And she remembers it viscerly and, like, shudders when she tells it to people. That's wild. Again. I mean, could it be L.A. Weird man that just was extra stripe of weird.

Could be the same exact guy. That's, it's crazy to the dog just kind of like, we're like, here, I'll sit there and stare at you as well now from behind the dumpster. I hope out there somewhere, there's a guy who tells this story about how one night he took his dog to poop. and he saw a banshee that like scooped up a small thing and flew away took it took its meal away took its prey and literally like flew up literally uh such and so i think for all i think we all of us here today know this area that she's talking about exactly yeah yeah uh and so i think it just makes it a little extra scary because i can picture the whole scene and I would say the vibe was lynchian.

Like when that that corner is already very like. Was he gone when you woke up? Like, did you look? Uh, he was, I, I didn't go outside. No, she, she wanted me to stay with her. I heard the devil was out there, so I went back to bed. No, she wanted me to stay with her. I didn't think that she thought, I didn't get the sense that she thought she was in danger.

I think she just got like fucking scared. Alex has a strong no 4 a.m. That's when the ghouls are out. I do a thing where I like, don't wake up. the way and I just do whatever my wife tells me at 4 a.m. Because she probably needs it. But the vibe is like already very scary right there. Like at any time, there's like a little bit of a foreboding vibe at night there, even if no one is there. So I don't know. I don't know about that. That's a spooky one. I have no, I have no answers other than it could be the same guy

from the previous story. That's the best, that's the best I got for you guys. That's wild. Is that when the haunting started uh no no i i think that we didn't notice those probably for a couple more years okay okay yeah i don't know i forgot how long i don't want to say the hauntings it could be two crazy potheads in their house with the dog i love the the description she does a good job she paints a good picture because like ain't oh man supposed to be out there in like a black cowboy hat come on that sounds like the collector you guys ever see that first tales from the crypt movie yeah i'm sorry i just never thought anybody would say yes to that No, I have not.

Mathis hasn't seen a single thing. You see, like, the worst movie you can imagine. I'm asking Mathis if you've seen anything is a waste of your time. He's seen the poorest films. Is that monster? Yeah. Well, you think your tales from the crypt would be in there. No, that movie's got in.

This seems like a boils and ghouls. Oh shit. He just keeps coming back. It's all connected. Oh, you know what? There you go. To me, Cripkeeper, fool on ghoul. I'm always, yes.

Okay, we have our answer. Yes, like a guy. He's like he wears. like a suit. He's like a bar. He's a zombie, but he's a bartender. Charlie Day. You're welcome. That's my Charlie Day impression. It's good. I know. I got a book here. It's got some stories. Yeah. Yeah. Let's open it up. Let's read a story. He actually could be a good cryptkeeper. That's what I'm saying.

So next one I got is, I'm going to read it. It's a short one by Smegmousio, which is a great name. I just wanted to say that. This is almost like a poem. It goes. goes. After a Dodgers game, I negotiated a ride back to Venice with the Brazilian cab driver. He was in his 60s, but listened to Gorillas. I asked him if he knew Arthur Beresai, my favorite Brazilian musician from the 70s. I'm glad I was able to introduce him to a few gems from his home country. As we bashed in the crescendo of Dedikada A Ella on I-10, I noticed on my right, a far right, a giant fireball slowly descending in the sky. I tried to remain in the mystery of it, but later gathered. It could have been a module reentry after a launch from the Vandenberg base.

The end. Which I just think is a great story. I don't know. It's a very L.A. moment. It was like a little tone poem about L.A. I thought it was great. That's funny. Man, shoutouts to these people, and one of them, Santel, like, I love that they're like, this is the craziest thing that's ever happened to me. And here's what it probably was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good. Yeah, yeah. Uh, the, the, the story reminds me of this time that I was sitting in Echo Park, which like, if you ever been there, it's kind of like, you can see all the way to downtown from the

park, like when you're sitting there. Real quick question. Yeah. Before I tell the story, do they still have that time traveler shop there? Uh, the Echo Park time travel mart. I think, I think so. I think so. That's just, just to explain how weird L.A. is.

There's a time travel mart. Yeah. My products associated with time travel. Yeah, it's really, I thought it was a place like. if you find yourself dislocated in time. Yeah, like a quickie mark for time back.

Go there. Yeah, like you'll, you know. Yes. Yes, that is it. They sell guides.

If you're here in this time period. Yeah. Yeah. But you can also pick up like things from the Jurassic era and things from the future. It's yeah.

You know, I'll become an actor's like, all right, this is my chance to kind of like trying to find a character. Let's see if I can do this and walk in the star LARP. It really is in full character.

Yes. It's actually, it's actually the front for the, the 826 LA like riders workshop that you can like sort of support them by going there and doing business and there's one now in Mar Vista too that's like a more like old-timey like Victorian themed one the one the one in Echo Park is kind of like back to the futurey vibes it looks like a 7-Eleven but the one in Mar Vista's like it looks ye old if you know what I'm saying ye old yeah anyway sorry to interrupt yeah you know but yeah I what am I saying echo park

we're looking downtown and we look up in the sky and there's like this huge like it looks like somebody lit a like a like a military parachuteer on fire and it was like falling for a really long time and um everybody in the park was like what in the fuck is that and I was like trying to go on Twitter which was still Twitter at the time and was like trying to like figure out what was happening and like going on Instagram going on the LA Reddit couldn't figure it out And then eventually, like, an hour later, somebody posted in, like, the UCLA or I think it was USC subreddit that was like a fucking jumper, like a stunt jumper that landed during like the halftime show actually like just landed at that time and at that area in LA. And that's probably what it is. And that's why it's so crazy to think about the fact that, you know, maybe a guy throwing a flashbang in the air or maybe, you know, maybe, you know,

You know, some dude on fire falling through the air. Maybe it's a totally mundane reason that that's happening, even though it is exactly what you think it is. Who knows? That's why, like, I mean, as much as a believer as I am, and I, like, it's important to weed out these stories. So you're left with the shit that is truly, like, hard to explain. Right.

You need to be able to weed this shit out. Yes, exactly. And since that one was so short, I'm also going to read this response I got from My Chemical Death Cab, because I based mine just based off the username. who said, quote, not in L.A. proper, but just outside of L.A. in Seamy Valley, there's a ghost gorilla slash Sasquatch looking thing that haunts our parks. And, you know, I was tantalized. It's like a trailer. Yeah. I'm like, so I wrote back. I said, pretty please, tell me a little bit more about it.

And I'll do my best to have a local cool person read it, which was, I was talking about Brett. And then, like a trooper, they did their best and wrote back. So if Brett would be so kind, I've got his little response here now. I'm worried that you said they did their best. I mean, it's just, it's just not, there's just not that much info. Yeah, it's tiny. I thought it was worth the effort. Okay.

Well, this person says, yeah, there's unfortunately not much information, just a lot of rumors. But there's a ghost gorilla that haunts Sycamore Park can see me and rarely other parks. Some say he has something to do With the Native Americans who live there Some say he was an escaped experiment From the nearby Rocket Dine All I know is If you go to Sycamore Park at night

You got a chance of seeing A big old gorilla goes running at you Dude And that's Bulkin' Scull's trials of the paranormal We'll see you guys next I'll tell you something Skull if we can't find those rangers We're going to track down this gorilla ghost

Oh, I wish had my fucking record player up here. I have the Power Rangers vinyl. I just appreciate that my chemical death cab. That's great. Dude, if a ghost gorilla ran at me I feel like my fight or flight would immediately flight. Like, even if it, like, logically

there should not be a gorilla charging at me in this park. I feel like that part would just escape me and I'd take off and I would never record. And that would be the end of it. How do you think this, how do you think these people were able to discern like, that ain't no regular a gorilla.

That's a ghost. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think he ran through a chain and fence one time? Do you think it had like a glow to it? I think it looked just like a gorilla except that it was like paler and its

bottom and its bottom looked like slimer. Yeah, like he's like, he's like not leg. As it moved. He's got like a little dipo. Yeah, no legs, no legs. No legs. That's a tapers to a, to a sludge.

Next Ghostbusters movie, they need to do that. They need to do it like puppet style like did with climber the gorilla hunched over right big arms big are are his hands also ethereal and doing the ghost tail thing they have yeah and and he has shackles like he has like like he has like Jacob Marley style shackles because that's part of so so his feet going into my d&D campaign that I'm running for my friends at home okay he actually runs on his hands like he propels himself with his hands but then you couldn't really see it so he just be floating

at you because his hands are ethereal and they like so basically just it's a floating gorilla yeah they're based that skateboard guy from Sid's bedroom off the girl from Sydney Valley but there you go

my chemical death cab happy LA month for you next one is for Jesse you know I wasn't everybody's got a good username let's just put it that way this one's another one that I'm going to have to give you in two bursts

but here we go is the first burst and then the other burst is quite short but it's still a burst and burst it on Jesse three booby problem nice nice fantastic film or series or whatever the hell it is

yeah total recall right right yeah yeah yeah yeah I have so many weird little stories from when I was living in L.A. Most of them fall somewhere on the mundane end of the spectrum. For context, I lived in Lomita for a few years when I was growing up before moving out of state for school. Anyways, here's one where I may have run into the men in black. I know. I was at a newsbook store a few years ago off Melrose with some friends when two men walked in wearing identical

dark gray suits, not black, but close. were clean-shaven, didn't carry anything with them, and moved really strangely. Intentionally, I don't know, they were, like, super still. None of my friends saw them touch anything when they were in. Just walk slowly from shelf to shelf, occasionally turning their heads exactly the same time. I joked to the guy behind the calendar that they looked like agents from the X-Files or the Matrix or something. He didn't laugh, just saying something like,

they've been in before When I left One of them was standing outside the shop Looking at my friend's car Not doing anything Just watching He waited 15 minutes before driving off Never saw them again

Obviously the whole story is pretty mundane But they were like Hair standing on the back of my neck weird In a way that triggered my pattern recognition lizard brain My friends and I still talk about them Every once in a while Another weird experience I had

in L.A. was in 2019. Driving home really late through Long Beach, I noticed three white lights forming a perfect triangle way up in the sky. Did Mathis write this? Mathis, are you the three-movie problem? Yeah, I want to hear what this is, actually. I'm ready to see what they say. It was hard to tell the scale at first, and I figured it was planes lining up for the airport,

but they weren't moving, just holding steady. Then in less than a second, the entire triangle rotated, like the lights were connected and shot straight upward until they were gone. No sound, no trails, nothing. I sat there at the red light waiting for someone else on the street to react, but no one even looked up. I don't do drugs,

and I'm not some aerospace expert, but it was really weird and I couldn't tell you what it was. Whatever it was, I don't really think it was a plane or drone, but I don't really want to speculate since I'm no expert. Thanks, and feel free to share this on the pod. Thank you.

The light experience came before, after seeing the men in black. I, the light experience is one of those ones that's like, interesting, cool. The men and black one, it's L.A. I'm convinced that dudes would dress up like that

and go do that just to go do that because it's L.A. Those are just Scientologists. Very exactly. I would have loved to have a description of their faces, like, very typically like they have no like no lips they're like really weird looking and not quite human looking supposedly so but there was none so yeah i i assume just three weird

friends going and there are a lot of yeah like uh in general i feel like people underestimate how weird their fellow man actually is yeah yeah yeah yeah so like la listener stories like the thing that really makes it different from a normal listener story episode so far is just that like in addition to the normal shit that we talk about we're also like well then again it's los angeles so like there's some fucking weirdos out there's possible yeah i have to admit uh hearing that last tale reminded me that i actually do have a little bit of an unexplained phenomenon yo that happened to me in this city okay you know what the funny thing is Alex you were there oh I think I know what you're going to say have you ever

about this on your show? I don't, I don't remember, but I don't think so. I know we've talked about it on beer. I'm very careful. I want to hear this. Let's tag team it.

Okay. Yeah. I mean, feel free to pick it. You know, I don't know how excited I just got. I can provide, but I can say,

yes, I was sitting right there. And will you also admit before we begin that, like, neither of us has a really good explanation for this as of yet?

Yeah. We're talking about what happened when we drove home, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. When was,

okay, I'm so fucking, It's weird that you've never said the story And also weird that you would have forgotten it, bro. But also if it is, we'll see why. Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead. We were, uh, we were driving home from the office where we used to work. We had just gotten off the freeway.

So the, and it's one of those freeways that like, it was the end of the freeway. What year? There's a lot of, uh, 20, fucking 19 maybe, right? 20, I think it was after the pandemic. I think it was like 2020. This was not, oh, really after the pandemic? Yeah, I think it was like 20, 22. something like that. Okay. Okay. Yeah. And it's on La Siena, which is like just a fucking straight

line, by the way. It's like a big straight line. Yeah. The freeway ends. And so all this traffic gets dumped into regular traffic. So there's, we're, we're not moving because it's, it's that time of day when everyone's trying to get home. Lots and lots of traffic, but we're used to it because it's every day. And we are at this one particular spot that's like, uh, to our left is like this one spot that for years and years was always like this vacant lot that gets used for like carnivals every now and then like little

shit pops up there all the time and also like a chick filet to our left and to our right is like a Pandexpress and a little shopping strip mall it's right where you turn if you're going to the forum and and there's also like a building facade that's like

like a dentist office like you have to understand though like it's literally just sidewalk and then the entrance to like a business building. We can see everything around us. There's like not anything like hard like I don't know. There's nothing in our way really. It's a very normal place. And I think like around like and there's cars all around us. Left right. Like we're in the middle. Left right behind us and in front of us. Rush hour. All cars. So all the I'm in the passenger seat. Alex is driving. We're basically stopped and all of a sudden I think we both hear at the same time what sounds like like a horse

Swinney? Yeah. Oh, right. Like, like, yeah. Alex actually did it pretty well. Hit me again?

It was like pretty, it sounded like present? Yeah, but it sounded, it didn't sound like it was in the car with us. So it wasn't in the car, it was outside. No,

no, no, no, no. Oh my God. But it didn't sound like it was like, oh, that's from that vacant lot over there.

No. It sounded like it was in the driver's seat of a car right next to. Somebody listened to the system of the, system of it down next. to us like level volume like it was like it sounds like what I expected if I if I saw what I expected when I looked out the car

it would be like a fucking horse carry someone riding it absolutely yeah yeah somebody riding a horse or like one of those horse like carrot like when you move a horse long distance you know what I'm saying yeah oh yeah like the little thing and so we were looking for that because we were both like

where's the horse that and we're looking like yo where's the horse that because it must be close and we can't see it. And we see like, I think there was like a van in front of us. Yes. But we were like, there's no way there's a horse in there. No, it could. Because A, because A, like, you don't put a horse in a van. It wouldn't fit like that. Oh, yeah. They're huge. The horse sounded way closer than that. So we were hypothesizing maybe someone has a horse just on the other side of that building to our right. That's like a dentist office or something.

Like, maybe there's just a horseback. That's like a loud horse, though. The Dennis has a tunnel. So, like, the dentist, the building is on the street and you, like, drive under the building to park. So there is, like, a small tunnel that could be the horsewinnie echo chamber. But another thing I want to say is that we, it happened a few times. Wait.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, go ahead. And each time, it was not a, it was not a recording of the same horse. It was like a fresh new horsewinnie If you know what I'm saying And this is undeniably a horse winnie Not a car squeal or anything like that kind of thing It was a fucking horse

It was a fucking horse But it was like What I mean is it wasn't somebody like Pressing a button And it wasn't the horse sound effect You can use So that was our best hypothesis Like this horse is just out of our site

So audible So audible So then we're like man That was wild I wish we could have seen that horse So traffic moves forward a bit We even cross a street, a busy street, and then after that street, we, like, hit another red or something and we're stopped again.

And then, lo and fucking behold, we hear the goddamn horse again. Again. Like, after we had moved significantly forward. So now we're like, okay. I'm talking like three quarters of a mile down the road or more. And we're like, okay, so now we know the horse is mobile wherever it's on the move and it's following us. So we immediately start going, one of these cars has a lot of.

horse in it. Right? There has to be a horse. Maybe they found a way to shove a horse in a car. Like, yeah, a horse crammed like a crammed horse. Could it have been a pony. But like the thing is we were also, this is what reminded me of this story. Because in the story you just read, uh, you talked about how this lady saw the lights and looked around and no one was reacting. I swear Alex and I were both looking around like for anybody else in the cars around us like, are y'all not hearing this horse? It was, it was so. mysterious that it made me feel like it was like Christmas like it was like it felt so out of normal that I felt like there was magic everywhere it was like such a weird feeling that's wild a weird ghost horse though I don't understand why the ghost horse would be following you around maybe that's what's haunting you Alex is the ghost horse is fucking picked up on this drive I would love that yeah it felt like in the back of our car was like when you exit the haunted mansion at Disneyland. There was just a horse back there.

A horse will follow you. For those who aren't on Patreon at patreon.com, such a limited pot of $15 here you can get all benefit in video and all that stuff. Jesse looks utterly befuddled by the entire story. At the very, so the entire time I was thinking like, what if this

is one of those things where at the top of the dentist's office, there's like a, you know, like a statue of a horse or something. And it's like, ooh, a ghost horse. And then Brett's like the haunted mansion. I was like, the statues come alive it just got me but then they were just a mile away and they were still hearing it

I here's what I'll say are we sure it wasn't the brakes that's what I'm like the car the best the best guess that I have like the only thing that I can think of that it could be that would satisfy me in terms of what I fucking heard that that is not an actual living breathing horse is like somebody in some car with their iPhone

like listen to some like fucking like cowboy ass song that in the middle of it just goes horse rock dude maybe horse classical no I don't know it was a fucking horse that's the best I could tell it was a loud ass horse right outside the car yeah once again guys you know I'm like pretty skeptical yeah and I have a pretty open mind when it comes to like Occam's razor and shit uh but I'm gonna let you know I was there

this was the like the sound was undeniably horse it was not breaks. It was coarse. Nothing cinematic about this at all. Nothing satisfying from a storytelling perspective. Just a horse that seems impossible that we heard very far from itself. That's the best guess that we've got is somebody in a car next to us was like, wouldn't it be funny if I occasionally every once every 90 seconds hit that horse button I have. But nobody else was looking around other than you. True. And they had to have had multiple horse sounds. And nobody looks suspicious, like, looking around for people to react either. Like, it was just you.

Maybe it was a prank yanker's scene. What is that show called? Crank yankers? American pranksters? What is it? It's, you know, maybe it's like a, maybe it was like a fucking prank that was played just on us that's like really weird and obtuse. Somebody was trying to revive prank channels on YouTube is what this was. I'm so glad you remembered that. I fucking forgot about that

fucking horse for a second. Fucking unbelievable. So there's my one thing. That's a weird one. Yeah. And those are the ones that I love because it's just like, it's weird and there's just no explanation. There's no way to go back and make it happen again. Unsatisfying and believable. Yeah, I'm not trying to spook anybody and I'm not trying to push an agenda. I legit just heard a horse one time.

Yeah, that doesn't seem possible. Yeah, you're an invisible horse. It's like when the plug moved in my house and me and Kelly couldn't explain why and it like upset us more than anything because it was so impossible even though it was the way the book slid. This book sliding, it's like even more fine because it's like probably wind or There was some weird air pressure, but somebody just moved a plug from one room to another, and it wasn't me, and it wasn't Kelly. So who the fuck was it?

It was trouble. I had been there, and I like, I don't think so. I don't think so. It wasn't you. I don't think it was, my thought wasn't, oh, it's Mathis. Like, I was staying there, yeah. But speaking of Mathis, to close us out today, we have one more story for Mathis to read, which is from We Sizzle the Nizzle, who made it just in time.

I put out a final warning for stories, and he made it 15 minutes after the bell. so here we go simple i just wanted to share because it makes me laugh when i think back on it and i don't know if this is even uh if this is even being submitted in time well like you said alec said it was you made it you made it back around 2011 to 2012 a couple of friends and i went to hollywood because it was one of their birthdays and wanted to go to amoeba records uh after buying some music and getting pizza we decided to just stroll down sunset pop into shops and do the usual things kids with little money do one shop had a board looking uh one shop had a board looking uh one shop had a board looking at the counter had a board looking at it's gotta be a person person at the counter yeah while

looking through the glass counters he asks hey guys want to buy some shrooms salvia he that's hey guys oh man uh two very different hallucinogenics too well yeah uh he then proceeded to pull a binder with elicit drugs organized in it like a trading card collection bro i would be like this i do like you're a cop this is you're a cop i can't what what what late 80s after school special this dude walk out of that's incredible shelvia shrooms uppers downers pills poppers yankers spankers that motherfucker had that hollow foil salvia bro you get the final fantasy art salvia right we we hesitantly but politely declined and proceeded to walk about giggling about the offer crazy what you can buy on sunset that's it see i think the sea is a smile i

I think the C is a smiley. Oh, I didn't see the little, yeah, it's a smiley face, you're right. That's crazy, dude.

And also to be like, you want some shrooms, help us some salvia. That's like, don't, I've never done salvia. Don't do salvia. That doesn't sound like

it doesn't seem like it's, it doesn't seem like it's really fun. No. There's something kind of attractive about it considering how like short it lasts, you know? Oh,

okay. You just want to kill some time. Like, I don't, you don't really care what happens for 15 minutes, even if you like, what I'm saying is like,

if you're going to try something, right? And it's like, well, do I want to try something and then be affected for four or five hours? Or do I want to be affected for about 90 seconds? Right. Yeah. Even if that 90 seconds feels like four hours. I don't know. Everybody that I've ever seen do Salvia, it's like 10 minutes and you're like back.

It's weird. Yeah. It's wild. Brett, thank you so much for coming on LA listener stories. It's super cool to finally have you on the show. If you're down, we'd love to have you on like a proper episode soon. We got a lot of those coming up once LA month is done. but the people wanted you, so I had to get you.

Thank you for finally swallowing your pride and allowing me on the show. Where can people find you if they want more bread? Do we want me to send them to your Twitch? That's probably the best place. You could find me at Twitch.com slash Shaper of Stories. Yeah. That's all one word. You know, play some video games, hang out with me for a bit, you know.

And please watch our television show, Superbeard Bros, that we've been making for, nigh on i i feel like even you have been there for 10 years now somehow is that possible i came on i want to say either 17 or 18 wow okay so we're getting there yeah wow do you often plug beard bros on this show almost never i mean i i don't i'm not shy about the fact that i'm on the show but i don't ever like go like guys please check out super beard bros and like except for that one time and we like yeah he begs like a lot of begging yeah I'm still doing some e-begging, as they call it, in the retrovading world. Before we sign off, you never did answer to who's who as to Ken Ryu.

Oh, yes, perfect question. I kind of want to know before we go away. Obviously, I'm Ken. That's easy. Why are you killing? Because, Alex, you're the Ryu. I'm the Ryu and Brett's the Akuma? 100%.

I don't know. Does Brett agree with this? We have to define. what it is because with those three it's about like strength and getting better at their craft so what is it we're trying to achieve here like because like rio is always trying to improve himself but if we're talking about like finding the perfect nachos in the city then yeah i'm rio you know what i mean like so it depends we're doing street fighter six so i'm a washed up construction worker okay Alex that's kind of what happens hiding out afraid to uh you know show his true strength. And Brett is a DLC character.

Done. That's true. You have to pay to get me. That's real. Yeah. And his move set makes me want to jump off of a building. And he kills people. Do you play Street Fighter, Mathis?

Yeah, I do. How come you don't hit me up? I, I'm the say, I am new to Street Fighter as of the past six months or so. He watched the dojo and he got scared that you're going to whip his ass probably. Yeah. Oh. Then it worked. Good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I play Ed. Oh, I've been playing a lot of Ed recently He's so deceptively fun Guys, like he's got a lot of option I'm smelling a play you gotta hit me up if you want to play down I'll fucking play yeah You will whip my ass you will destroy me just know that

I want next time we have on for like a real episode I want to like get an update on you guys playing some street finder together I would love to yeah I'll get you my uh code immediately after he closes out So Brett is Shaper of Stories everywhere Shaper of Stories on Twitch Watch him on Super Beard Bros Don't miss the live call in special Saturday, August 30th at noon

at Chaluminati Pod on YouTube. We will see you at our sold-out live show November 1st in Chicago with Cox and Crendor. Don't forget to go to patreon.com slash Chulminati Pod, Mathis, take us out of this place. Yeah, that's it. We're off to do the minisode.

Like you said, we appreciate to we love you. We'll see you next week. Goodbye. Bye. Thank you. Anyway, me and my wife were sitting outside indulging on our porch one night and enjoying ourselves.

I needed to go to the bathroom, so I stepped back inside and after a few moments, I hear my wife go, holy shit, get out here. So I quickly dash back outside. She's looking up the sky in the fall. I look up too, and there's a perfect line of dozen lights traveling across the sky.

So, you know, I'm going to be able to be. Thank you.