Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 327: Chilluminati Advent Calendar Listener Stories

Episode Date: December 7, 2025

This week, the boys dive into your festive stories. CHILLUMINATI is a weekly comedy podcast hosted by Mike Martin, Jesse Cox and Alex Faciane. Hold on to your tin-foil hats and traverse the realms of the mysterious, supernatural, spooky and sometimes truly horrible - and your third eye will never be the same! Subscribe to our Patreon to support us and for extra content like full video episodes, weekly Minisodes, exclusive art, and more at http://patreon.com/CHILLUMINATIPOD Thank you to our sponsors: Cashapp: Download Cash App Today: [https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/eikoiw62] #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Cash App Green, overdraft coverage, borrow, cash back offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Mike Martin - http://www.youtube.com/@themoleculemindset Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - https://www.youtube.com/@StarWarsOldCanonBookClub/ Editor: DeanCutty Producer: Hilde @ https://bsky.app/profile/heksen.bsky.social Show Art: Studio Melectro @ http://www.instagram.com/studio_melectro Logo Design: Shawn JPB @ https://twitter.com/JetpackBraggin

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members. And I get peace of mind knowing I earn more selling with The Real Real than anywhere else. Exactly. This? That's the sound of your closet working for you. The Real Real. Earn more, save time, sell fast. And right now, you can get an extra $100 site credit when you sell for the first time. Go to therealreel.com to get your extra $100. Thereelreel.com. That's thereelreel.com. Hello, everybody and welcome back to the Chaluminati podcast, episode 327. As always, I'm one of your host, Mike Martin, joined by two bandmates, Alex and Jesse, how's it going? oh yeah baby we learn we're jammie we're bandmates we're jamming yeah yeah we're jamming we're playing we're so each of us you're the lead singer as we just learned before we hit record

that yeah that's true that's that's a fact that's a fact yeah uh here's what i'm gonna say i think Alex is league guitar okay that fits and mathis I think you're the drummer because you keep us on beat wow you're the one he's always thinking about you we'd fall apart that's the guy who's most conscious of how three hours long the show is at all times i would say and then a guest is the basest yeah yeah you can bring in a guest base because they add a little funk every time they come on yeah i like that yeah that's beautiful that's our that's our chiluminati theory of music if you like the if you like the chalubinati theory of music go ahead and support us over at patreon.com slash chluminati pod it's more like a musical

hypothesis. Yeah, all kinds of ideas are going on over there at the, at the Patreon, including our theory of music. But, you know, for the slow-low fee of $15 a month, you can get a mini-sode literally every single week. In addition to a bunch of other stuff, we just watched Age of Disclosure. And we've got a couple other things on the schedule coming up really soon that we're going to be watching and playing and looking at that aren't movies. So come over there, sign up for Patreon. There's never been a bit of time. It's one easy, easy fee. And you get all the same stuff. And it keeps us able to pursue important things like our theory of music, which we're having a symposium with Terrence Howard on this whole thing pretty soon. And

he's got some big ideas about square roots. So we're excited to see them. And just subscribe to our Patreon. Anyway, it's December. And the few weeks of cheesy sentimental holiday fun times we try to have here on the show before Cornerfest 26 takes us into the new year with another huge burst of internet-fueled insanity. So today, I just have, before we get started, it's the, it's the listener story episode of winter. That's all, that's what we have for you today. So I just have one little letter to read to get us started, just as a ceremonial kind

of thing, just sort of, like a chaos magician ceremony, just going through the motions kind of thing. Should I take my pants off and start? No, no, no, no, no, nothing like that. What? I did get to the note. I did look through, I did look through the listener stories today and get reminded of the redditor who suggested that she put a sigil on her tits and then posted online so that people

could tribute it. I forgot about that post. They should do it to the Chulamini podcast. You know what I'm going to say? I'm going to say, no, sis. No, go for it, girl. No, no, you know what? You sound, you guys together sound like the comment sections on that post.

But that's that, I just got reminded of that today. But, yeah, I just have one letter to read to get us started. It comes standard in the package with every Chuluminati style, Advent calendar. As you know, it's holidays, but a lot of different belief systems have a calendar. And traditional Chaluminati Advent calendars work differently than the religious ones. Everybody, first of all, difference between an Advent calendar for Christmas or whatever and Chulamani Advent calendars that every single person's

Chiluminae Advent calendar is made specifically for them. So, so... I think I was made by the person who has one. No, no. It's made specifically for each person that gets one.

And rather than it being kind of like a countdown to presents, which most Advent calendars kind of are, right, for most kids, you get a chocolate every day to count down to you. Did you do Advent calendar? I never did that as a kid. I did.

I did. I did. I did. But we are aware of them. and I think they're bigger in other other from like the 1960s spiritually so yeah so it makes sense that he did it the Chulamati one is more like a taro type thing for the next year it's less of a like countdown uh but it is an avid calendar because it is winter and I did need to theme this episode after Christmas it's not like at all like that thing it's a lot like it's a calendar it's like tariff but not you open doors you open the doors you open the doors just like a hallway

more. It's just a wall with 24 doors on it. Dude, every time you open a door, it's Santel on the other side reading your tarot cards. That's in a week. You'll see that exact thing probably. That's the scariest thing you could have said. Santel Claus is coming. He is. He is coming to our town. But this, this, this advent calendar that we have here that we're going to go through today was prepared especially for the show by the most chill. And the letter is just the standard one that's packed in that comes with a calendar every time ever since 1950. But I'll read it anyway. way to get us started just because I think it's nice.

And even though a lot of you Chulamauts out there, I've heard it already if you get your holiday gift packs, you know, the listeners probably haven't heard it. So here we go. To all of us. To all of us. Sorry. I got to get the tone of this right. Sure.

First time reading it. To all of us. You know, 10 years ago when I lost my home in the Blitz and I was staying temporarily at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel with no work to speak of ahead, besides a small part in Agent Hitchcock. foreign correspondent, I scarcely could have imagined that within a decade, I'd become Chris Kringle to a generation of children in cinemas all over the world. Naturally, this has brought me quite a bit of positive attention from within the organization,

and I'm very lucky to have occupied so much space in people's minds for so long in that manner. However, I only bring it up now because originally it was my cousin Cecil who was offered the part, and if he hadn't turned it down for reasons unrelated to Christmas holidays or anything else besides his own discerning taste as an actor. And even then further, if he hadn't taken the slightly unprofessional step of suggesting a close family member for the role in his stead, it would never have even happened in the first place. No trips to New York, no Academy Awards, and most importantly, and possibly most empirically, the film that would have been released wouldn't have been the exact same film as the one that was. And so history and our very universe would not

have changed in exactly the way it would have to bring us to this moment where I'm here writing this letter and you're out there reading it unless Cecil turned down the part. The very odds of it all happening are staggering. So rather than worry about what religion you are or what's real or what's not, this Christmas season, let's try to better honor the random confluence of events which has created for us the very world we needed to experience this glorious holy now, which is more real and all encompassing than any god or deity and is open to anyone at all by opening all these mysterious doors before us in whichever bloody order we wish christmas isn't just a day it's a frame of mind

agent e gwen seems like i feel like i just got lectured at by lou elizando no it was a it was a christmas a whole lot for cheluminati christmas but a whole lot at the same time what that made me think of was the fact I learned just today that Matt Barry was supposed to play Steve instead of uh what's his face Jack Black in the Minecraft movie but because of the sag after strike Matt Barry couldn't do it so Jack Black who was originally supposed to be a pig they made the main character so there you go phenomenal the confluence of events we wouldn't have had chicken jerky without that yeah so that would have had something like like chicken jockey that's what christmas uh that's what schlbadi christmas is all about which is

it's not really about religion it's just about honoring the randomness that brings us all everywhere so we're going to go in order as we open the doors of every single door of the advent calendar is opening today by the way all 24 oh wow we're just hurling them all open yeah so so that's what you did anyway let's not pretend yeah so we're going to go jesse i guess mathis alex in that order okay uh and then uh I'll, I have it here, so I'll open it off camera for you guys. And then if there's anything that you guys need to read by any chance, which, you know, happens a lot. It happens a lot on the show. So you never know.

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Download Cash App today and start turning your everyday spending into rewards. So yeah, so it's Jesse first. We got 24 different Advent calendar doors to open. Which one do you want to open? Oh, 18. 18. Great. Okay. This is perfect. This is actually not a joke. 18 is a listener story for Jesse to read from Dark Emperor 95. There you go. All right. Dark Emperor 95.

That's amazing. What a great first pick. Hello, everyone. Been listening to the podcast for a few years now after a friend introduced me to it. and now trying to catch up with some episodes I missed. After hearing about sleep paralysis in one of your episodes, I finally decide to share my horrifying experience having sleep paralysis as a 12-year-old. You have my permission to share this in the podcast, if you so desire. To start things off, I am more of an Alex than a Jesse,

where I can accept stuff, but I don't necessarily believe in it right away. That's a rare listener who considers himself an Alex, rather than a Jesse. Most I feel like consider themselves a Jesse when they begin any story. I think nobody considers themselves in Alex usually because it's hard to define exactly what I represent to this show. That's the real shit. It's so hard to define.

Who is Alex? What is Alex? What is that guy doing? Why is he on this show? I was raised in a religious Greek Christian Orthodox family with this, which essentially caused me to be more attracted to the occult and as a rebellious way against the entire religion

that was constantly shoved into my face. This meant that I would read about demons and magic rituals from books I would get from the bookstore or watch videos about it. I mention this because I believe it's a reason for my sleep paralysis demon's appearance. Anyway, on to the story.

My room used to be next to my parents' room when I was younger, with my bed being against the wall and facing the center of the room. This meant that my room's door was always to the right of my vision when I would sleep on my back. I would always leave the door open so that the hallway's light outside my room would not keep me in complete darkness. One night after falling asleep, I remember opening my eyes and I see this tall figure standing by my door. It was tall and it was staring directly where I was.

I could not see its face just its dark shape standing on the door. I tried to speak, but I realized no words came out. As I tried to ask who it was, it started slowly walking towards my bed. I remember trying to yell out so my parents heard me, but no noise came out of my mouth as this creature was walking towards me. It then got on my bed and sat right on my chest, causing me to feel a pressure on my chest, and my breathing to be harder. I then took a glimpse on the creature's face as it leaned down and wrapped its hand around my neck. It was a goat-headed human, just like you would see in pictures of Baphimet or something similar. I tried screaming and no noise would come out as it started choking

me, causing me unable to breathe anymore. I remember waking up screaming, sweat all over my face as my dad rushed in the room to see what was wrong and turning on the lights. Let's just say after that experience, it took me a few more nights until I could sleep normally again. This experience was horrifying and even now picturing it again has my hair standing up. Thank you for reading my story and stay awesome. So that's like super kind of hot to the right person. If we're talking about synchronicular go ahead of human waking you up in the middle of the night

starts choking you just a little bit. It could be hot, no, no, I said it could be hot to the right person. You know why Matthews' take was that was hot? It's because it was repeated multiple times. This was a very tall figure. Exactly. Tall is in. If you're tall, you got, you got like a little more chance of it happening.

It was what I'm hearing from Mathis. It was speaking of synchronicity, though, right? And we're talking about what this reminds us of. I happen to be reading one of the penguin collections of 18. H.B. Lovecraft's work right now. He wrote about the painting. But, like, look at the cover of this. You can see this on if you're the webcam people, but it's that famous painting of the nightmare that's like on the person's chest. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This painting, I forget who it's by, but it's like,

you know, one of those classical, classical paintings. But it's supposed to represent, like, the very concept of a nightmare, which is that it's like something that sits on you and gives you horrible nightmares while you sleep and like get something out of it right there's there's a weird like this is a very good chicken egg example because this goes back to there are a lot of early sort of renaissance and medieval art and things like that classical art of what alex is talking about the thing is is it the experience influence the art or did the art influence the experiences. And I simply don't know, but I know it's all connected because it's, yeah, it's that kind

of thing where you, it's your dream, it's your mind, it feels like a thing humans have been feeling exactly for thousands of years. Yeah, yeah. Like it's like you're in the dream. It's happening to you and it's your mind causing it. And it's like, all right, well, how did your mind think this thing up? I think is the fascinating. Like, that's where the science should be focused because that's interesting. Yeah, I don't know. Pretty neat. All right, Mathis. your turn all right i'm going to be a cliche and go with door number one door number one it's going to the very start okay door number one here we go let's see you go mathis this is what it says uh on the first day of christmas the chelunumont to that well good lord i can't

even say her show's name try that again on the first day of christmas the cheluminati gave to me an ancient order for all the world to see oh that's good crazy that's okay so i guess it's my turn now i'm gonna pick okay yeah uh what does that mean what does that mean i don't know i don't know i have to show the world an ancient order i don't know uh that's really weird i'm gonna pick number six number six is a quote i guess it says humanity could be clutching the frail bark of an outmoded worldview while the wind of the mind is swaying the stars into very real craft and out of them is coming a faint call for help from a lady in a flowered dress.

That's from Whitley. Strieber? Striber from a book called Communion? Never heard of that one. Don't know about that one. Is it this one right here? Oh, weird. Mathis has the book.

How strange. That's so strange. How weird. Okay, well, that's number six. Jesse, what number do you want to pick? Two. I need to know what two is. Okay, here's two.

Well, I don't answer that question ever. And I can just tell you that the number two guy in the CIA said, an answer to a reporter asking the question that I must have been standing too close to gong to the gong when I say things like that, Chuck Berris. I don't know what that means. Chuck Barris, well, if I'm not wrong, I think Chuck Barris is the host of the gong show. So that must have something to do with that. That's really weird.

Mathis, what number? I don't know. We started with the reader story, and now I don't know what this is. It was lucky that you chose. It was lucky that you chose a reader's doors. Yeah, what about you, Mathis? All right, all right. Let's go to the end.

Let's do 24. The last door. 24. Oh, okay. 24 is actually a listener story for me to read from Glistle. How did I open a door that gives you something to do? I don't know. That's just what it says.

It's just what it says. Who lets you? structure these episodes without any oversight whatsoever. I'm not even doing it. They just sent us this. What do we pay in our bog which to do if you're just helping you be organized? You chose this. This is, this is

random. You picked it. Feel free to read on the show and use on the show as you will. This one is called my haunted apartment complex. Me and my wife's apartment complex is a little unique. In the middle of our apartment complex sits a graveyard.

Buried in the graveyard are the founders of a small town in Texas. It seems very weird, but when we first saw it, we did not think much of it, but as we lived there, we noticed various creepy things happening. The experiences were subtle at first, the odd knock or creek normal house sounds. Once something fell out of a chair, so nothing was too worrisome and it was fine for a bit, then other weird things started happening. One day, the sound of heavy furniture scraping across the floor and people running around with heavy thumping footfalls.

But most of this post, I will give you a couple highlights of the activity we have experienced. One night, I was outside walking the dog in our little grassy area outside our apartment. I was facing the apartment standing on the sidewalk, and I heard heavy footsteps coming down the sidewalk. Walked into the grass to get out of the way as I was paying attention to the dog, and I heard the steps walk right behind me and onward to the right of me. I looked around to see who it was, and no one was there. I know there was someone there as my dog had stopped sniffing around and looked towards the sound as well. A couple of months later, I was in the kitchen of our apartment, standing at the stove,

and I felt someone run their hand down my upper arm and tug on the bottom of my short sleeve. I looked around behind me, and of course no one was there, so I investigated the living room and asked my wife if she was messing with me or something. She said no, and that she was sitting on the couch with her feet up watching TV. This was not the only time I had a physical sensation, though. Again, I was outside with the dog, and I kept feeling someone pull at the bottom hem of my shirt like a small child would trying to get your attention. At first, I thought it was the dog.

But she is well trained and does not pull at clothing or anything like that. But again, the dog and I could sense something was there. The final occurrence I will talk about is, me and my wife are coming back from the laundry room at about 10.30 p.m. Remember, there is a graveyard in the center of my apartment complex. and on the other side of the graveyard is a playground and a couple picnic tables. Out of nowhere, we hear what sounds like children screaming and laughing. Also, the sound of playground equipment squeaking at the playground on the other side of the graveyard from us.

My wife asks, that's weird. It's like 10.30. Do you see any kids over there? I looked over at the playground and I saw no kids over there playing. I told my wife, nope, there is in fact no one over there. We quickly walk back to the apartment after that. So that is the story of my haunted apartment complex. I do not really have a good sense of who or what is in my apartment complex, but there is

something, and it does not seem malevolent or anything, just a bit curious. I like that one because it's like almost like a, like, I don't know, like Tim Burton's setting is like I'm just picturing a quad of an apartment and in it is like an old-timey, old west cemetery for some reason. I don't know why that's what I'm imagining. It's clearly not what exactly is going on here. But I find it charming. Go bully them until they do.

do something. Just go into the playground and start telling them they're a bunch of dorks. Don't do it. Like, but if you were a ghost though, pretend shoving them off of the swing, especially a Texas ghost. No,

you'd be like, these are pulling their ghost six shooters. Hey, but if you were Texas toast, get your ass over here because I'm about to eat you. Delicious. It's a Texas toast with a Texas ghost. Texas toast with a Texas ghost.

All right. I guess I'm going to pick, I'm going to pick number 10. which, oh, gosh, look, it's a story for Mathis to read from Wipash. Oh, random of you for you to choose that. It was, I don't know which, what's behind any doors. I'm just holding. They could have sent you this calendar early and you could have peeked behind all the doors.

No, it's, it's perforated. So I would have to rip the cardboard. Got you. So this is from Whiplash Rookie. I never post on Reddit, but when this happened, I knew I had to let you all know about it. You can definitely use the story on the podcast anytime you want. This happened on the night of September 12th, 2025. I live near the college town of Johnson City, Tennessee.

Our biggest claim to fame is being mentioned in the lyrics of the song Wagon Wheel. I don't know that song, Alex, do you? I do, but I don't know the words. Okay. I deliver for DoorDash in the evenings after I get off work from my day job just for the extra cash. Like I said, it's a college town, so most of the time I'm delivering to drunk college kids, and surprisingly, they tip pretty well. After I got done delivering, I drove home and pulled into my driveway around 9.30 p.m.

It was a super clear night, no clouds at all. The only light was coming from the moon and stars. As I was walking to my door, I looked up and saw two bright, or not two bright lights, two lights, one flashing green and one behind it flashing white. They were both moving east, the flashing green light, the flashing green light in front of the flashing white light trailing behind, but moving closer to the green one. They weren't blinking in unison, but they would sometimes match up with each other, like one was flashing just a few milliseconds quicker to the other.

I mean, that happens a lot with my car blinker, you know, when you're just for a second, you're like listening to the drums of the music and it like sinks on for a minute. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. They were for, anyway, they were far enough away from each other that I didn't think much about it at first, thinking they were most likely airplanes. My house is about 10 minutes from the Tri-Cities Airport and about an hour from a military training base.

So aircraft at all hours of the day or night is not unusual. But these lights were moving way too quick to be airplanes and there was no sound at all. And so I kept watching. I thought they could be satellites of some kind. I've seen the International Space Station pass above my house on clear nights before and have also seen a lot of Starlink satellites in the past few years. But again, these two lights were moving way too quick for that as well. And they didn't seem to be as high up as satellites would be.

I watched for about 20 seconds and realized if they kept moving at this pace, the white flashing light would either collide with the green one or go above or slash below it. At this point, I figured it was. planes refueling, like how they have to get on top of each other or some kind of military training. But as I was thinking that, the lights did collide. And for about two seconds, they created an orange light that grew in size to about twice the size of either of the first two lights and then immediately sped off in the same eastern direction the lights had been going in.

But at an incredible speed and then disappeared over the mountains in the distance. For a minute, I thought I had witnessed some kind of celestial event, like two rogue planets somehow going supernova with each other, but then I regained my common sense. I have no idea what I saw. And I can't think of any rational explanation unless I witness some kind of military aircraft that's not known to the public. Anyway, I thought you'd all enjoy this story. I have other stories as well regarding the paranormal, including ghosts.

My dad witnessed in the 70s and 80s and some experience I had with a friend who spent some time as a professional ghost hunter. If you'd like to hear some of those, just let me know, I want to write them down. Love the show, guys. Keep being awesome. I love the ones. I love to hear those. I love the ones that have a trailer at the end.

It's like we've listened, we've read a lot of, we've read a lot of listener stories now. And every once in a while, it's like, if you like this one, I got four other ones and he was a little hint about what they're about. I love that. Yeah, yeah. This was great. I love the end of this story.

It felt like when you trade Pokemon and they like turn into, they evolve into like two separate Pokemon. Yeah. You know what I mean? For a minute there, I was genuinely like, well, you know, I, uh, it sounds like drones, but it's not until they like come together and turn into like an orange light and take off, uh, that that that, made it a little bit weirder

because I'm trying to like I can't think not to say there isn't anything because they're very well maybe but like I don't know what what we have that could do potentially do that maybe like drones coming together like in the other part two is talking about combining is like pretty I mean like it also

there's so many things it could also be like even the earth moving like are your positioning to other things I the big takeaway I have is the idea that now that more and more people are looking to the stars we're getting more more things like this or people have been like, well, that's weird.

And that's what happens when you look up. So I'm here for it. And I'd love, I would have love to know how fast it is because you can be surprised how fast satellites can fucking tear through the sky, especially low orbiting satellites, which tend to be bright and orange when they are, but I, you know, it's interesting because not to say, I don't know if this is going to be anything, but Alex Kelly like texted me a story of an orange light. She saw in the sky the other day.

Oh, yeah. No, I don't have anything prepared. But yeah, I, she definitely. I saw it. Shout out, Kelly. Thank you for sharing. People are looking up, man. It's starting to happen, man.

I feel like more and more people are seeing stuff that are, and what I mean by that is not like there's more reports. It's like more people that I would never expect to tell me about aliens. Might just be because I'm on like a popular alien. People now feel comfortable talking to you because about it, maybe because of it. But I think it's because I think it's just because it's just in the zeitgeist a little more. I think people are more willing to go there now.

I don't know why, but I do feel that. I do think the drone situation from over a year ago was the shock of that got a lot of people to start looking up initially. It is fucking weird. It just hovering over everywhere. They just closed the airport in Amsterdam like not that long ago, like the other day. It's been happening all fucking fall across Europe. Yeah.

It's crazy. As well. All right. So who was that? I picked that last one. So then it's to Jesse now. Thank you so much to Zoc Doc for sponsoring today's episode. And have you still forgotten about that doctor's appointment?

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Now that I'm in the deep end, three. Okay, great. So this is going to be a listener dream for Jesse to read. You have picked both of your, like, reading. I got, you know, I have like a 12th cents, dude. So this is from Fanfic Throwaway 66666. Perfect. Okay.

I'm going to preface this with the obligatory. dream completely fucked me up and I'm at a loss for what to make of it. That being said, I murdered someone in my dream. Okay, which, pause. Have you boys ever murdered anybody in your dreams? Yes. I have been murdered many times. Yeah, I've killed somebody like, and then just continued moving.

Like, I've never like, just like committed like a premeditated murder in my dreams. Right. I wasn't a whole three-hour scenario of stalking them. It was a thing in the moment. Yeah, yeah. I have, like, cut somebody in half of a sword in my dreams and stuff like that. Yeah, when I was younger, I harpoon gunned a friend from high school. It was being a particular dick during that time in my life.

So I don't know why that's very creative, but that's what the dream was. That's how Cliffed Booth took out his wife in once upon a time in Hollywood. That's also how John Travolta dies and face off. The only time. Which probably is exactly where it came from. The only time I have a memory of, I'm sure I have, but the one that sticks with, me that I killed somebody and is the only dream I ever became semi lucid in I was in my late teens and I was dreaming I was drowning a baby in the bathtub and I knew and I knew

I was and I like during that I knew I was dreaming and I was trying to stop myself from doing it and I like couldn't and I also couldn't wake myself up and then eventually I woke up it was very weird that's like a lovecraft dream that's yeah that's crazy yeah baby had my face the baby head of the face of democracy it had the face of George Washington I don't know what it was Uncle Sam but a baby

I smothered him His blood was on my hands What could this mean? All right continue Which is extremely disturbing Since I'm a pacifist Buddhist that refuses to kill anything

Anyway Let's go to the start of the dream So I, NB27, started this entire thing off with the dismembering part. What? Oh, the person's already dead and the dream starting off with you dismembering them? Like the part, well, you're a serial killer, like, you're a murderer. You're dreaming that you are in a, in a true crime podcast episode already. This is the first bit of the dream I remember is having a bunch of body parts and toss them into

trash cans. I don't actually remember the murder, nor do I know who this person was or did. Just that they were in many pieces and I had to get rid of it. After disposing of everything, I go hang out with a friend of mine and

confess to them that I just killed someone. Their response, I still remember, because it confused me, even in the dream. Yeah, that's a very cat-like thing to do. Cats are cruel, man. They play with their friends. They play with their food. Now, what? No time to think about that because I have a call. This guy on the other end of the line is a detective. Don't ask me how I know that. Dreamy was sweating hearing his voice.

He says they found something and I immediately responded with a body. No, the guy didn't say what they found. My guilty ass just jumped straight to that conclusion. Oh, you got caught. You're like one of the guys on a long order. You got caught on the news. The kid, like the kid with any, they tell him they found the body, he goes, yeah. And he's like, I got to go. You're like, I got to go. Yeah, you're like, not guilty at all. There was a long pause before he said, yes.

For some reason, I had to investigate it, but I already knew this guy was suspicious of me. Luckily, it was not the body I dumped, but another completely intact one of a woman. That was nude, which was odd. We started skulking around the taped off scene, me and my friend, the dead girl didn't have any wounds, but was super pale. I couldn't find any way she could have died. And we're starting to get frustrated when she sat up.

Turns out she wasn't dead just passed out. She walked off quickly after coming to. Jeez. After this, everything gets super trippy. Oh, now it does. Okay. Yeah, I was going to say, what do you mean now it gets trippy? We are ushered into a room, me and now two other people.

One being my friend, another being a dude I never met before my life. There are about a few hundred doors lined up. Not against walls, just some kind of like Advent calendar thing that Alex made. It was so, so weird. Alex is just the reader. He's just the messenger. He was there. The third guy was Alex for some reason.

My tulip overlords control this whole thing. I'm not the mansor. I'm the mansee. It's not against walls, just standing all straight alone leading to nothing. They tell us to go look and see what we find. My friend goes first. They enter a door. and never come back, just vanished.

I didn't want to see what was inside. The other dude was next. He runs around too many doors, getting more and more distressed as he goes. I just sit on the floor and watch this guy run himself ragged, screaming as he opened some of them. But I can, I still can't see what's inside. Eventually, he ends up on the ground, muttering something, but I don't remember what it was. He was holding his head, kneeling down between his knees and just losing it.

I get up and go check a door and it leads to nowhere. I just see the door behind it. I even step through it and nothing. So I go back to sit on the floor while this dude is just sobbing besides me. Eventually, I noticed my phone was on the ground next to me. The screen lights up. It was another call. I answer it.

It's the same detective guy on the other side. I know what you did. Then I wake up. Not a damn clue what any of this meant, but it made me super anxious and felt like a real fucked up horror movie, even though during most of it, I wasn't actually upset or scared unless the detective was involved. I would love to know if anyone's any input on this because honestly, I don't have a damn clue what to make of it besides maybe I'm stressed. I'm back in college and majoring computer sciences and going all right, but I've been struggling with some

assignments. Any ideas? Um, I mean, in general, I would love to know what was going on in your life at this time, but I feel like a lot of that was kind of like, uh, feeling anxious. That's kind of what you should be feeling after a dream like that because it feels the doors have that like, you know, the overwhelming choice and not knowing if it leads anywhere and it not at all. And you'd be like giving up, but watching other people try and fail repeatedly and watch them kind of break down and you being like, you know, I don't, I'd rather not. like that is that vibe and the high the whole like i hit a body and someone's like oh i know what

you did that's very like uh you know you got a lot in your mind and you probably need to talk to someone about that kind you know what i mean like not this isn't like a therapy thing but like you're probably you know stressed about stuff and you should have a friend who's like hey man you want to get a drink sometime that's the vibe but i don't know i feel like also like if you're 27, you're in college, you're, I'm a Buddhist, I'm a pacifist. I'm a pacifist. I feel like you have probably some kind of complex thoughts about violence and, and I think even people who choose to center violence in their lives as something that they don't do. Because I'll tell you this, I don't think about whether or not I'm a violent person almost ever, right? So maybe, maybe there's

something to that. Like, maybe, maybe the reason that death and murder and killing is coming up here is because it's just something that is central to your life. Like, maybe it's the same way how I think about, you know, I don't know, I turn- Synchronicities. Yeah, like, I don't know. Like, just, like, maybe you should not take so much stock in the, in the, uh, imagery of death other than that it is something that's, that you think about a lot. And, Maybe it's, yeah, maybe it has to do with guilt or maybe it has to do with suspicion and maybe it has to do with holding on to secrets or even just in yourself. Like, for example, and I'm not, this is not real, but like, I've, for example, been in school

because I wanted to impress someone. You know what I mean? Like, I've done things that I didn't want to do. That still counts as a secret. You know what I mean? Like, if you don't really want to be there or something like that. and it's because of a choice that you made, you know, I feel like, I feel like the death could be just, you know, and the fact that they want to be very violent. Not, no, I just mean like it, they want to transgress, you know what I mean?

Like, maybe death is just important to them. And then saying that's a very catlike thing to do, it's interesting because it's like, kind of like, almost like saying something like the circle of life or nature. Of course, I'm, I'm interpreting this as if it was a book. So, you know, I don't, I don't know. I'm interested in the fact that. you state our dear writer that you start with a bunch of body parts and toss them to trash cans

and then you say oh I killed someone I don't necessarily know that you did you start with body parts and you're throwing the body parts away which is a whole other like you can interpret that completely differently and then the idea of you saying to someone oh I killed someone and your friend maybe even you recognizing

like no you didn't it's like could be a fun like, oh, it's such a cat thing to do is claim you killed something and you did it because you're just like, meh, I'm a cat. Another dead person got up and left. Always reading it. Yeah. I'm a cat. Yeah.

The second, the girl, the second girl was just passed out too, which is like kind of. Yeah. So she wasn't, so maybe you didn't kill anyone because the second girl wasn't dead. I think the, that's true. The murder itself isn't so much the center as the imagery of hiding and dead bodies. Yeah. Yeah. Where the bodies are buried.

So. Who knows? Yeah, there you go. Hopefully that's some insight that you didn't have before into it, right? That's good. Yeah. At least somebody's insight for sure. All right.

So that was Jesse's pick, right? Yes. Yeah. Okay, Mathis. Okay. All right, Jesse, you're going to take it from the front. You're going to go from like two, three, four on, like from there move? I am, yes.

I will Eiffel Tower this Advent calendar with you. Oh, man. And I will do number 23 since I did 24 last. Number 23, Jim Carrey, great movie. just kidding not that great but kind of neat kind of kind of interesting here you go that that's what it says okay on the 12th day of christmas the chluminati gave to me 12 tulipas forming interesting um and then i guess i'll pick uh be the center of our iful tower oh yeah i was going to say i'm going to pick number like 13 right that's let's split the diff right

uh on the seventh day of christmas the chelumani gave to me seven swords a swinging. Interesting. I love it. Interesting. Okay. Uh, Jesse. Number four, please. Number four. Oh. Interesting. Here's something that it says. On the second day of Christmas that Luminati gave to me, two different truths. Okay. So that's four. Two different truths. That's not good. I don't like that. I don't know. 22. 22. I hope somebody puts this all together.

This could be pretty interesting. On the 11th day of Christmas, that Shuluminati gave to me, 11 liars lying. Was that where the two different truths come from, the 11 liars? I don't know. Maybe you're going to have to put it together for yourself.

I'll go outwards, right? So I did 13. I'm going to do 12 next, right? So number 12 is going to be, oh, I guess it's a quote. Okay, this one says, it took several years for us to accept that the star girls really were aliens. Even though the first time I laid eyes on them for that microsecond, I felt that they were alien.

But the best indication is that everything is fine. I just feel all right. It was many years before I realized that my secretary was a Nordic alien. That's a quote from Bill Tompkins from his book, selected by extraterrestrials. that is someone's erotic fetish fiction oh boy my secretary is a nordic alien dude you might have there's got to be that on amazon right now that is that has to be an amazon you might have nailed you might have nailed that three tidied alien just right there talk that is happening right now okay jesse what will it be uh five five right okay on the third day of christmas the chluminati

gave to me three weird airs okay sure uh three french hens is what it is so it'd just be like three weird airs right right but that's but we're not doing the full song yet that's right well i guess at the end we can put it all together if you want well we have to see i i'd have to i'd have to or we leave that to the the subreddit yeah you can just you can you can you can do the um the 12 days of cheluminati christmas uh performance live live live christmas carol if you want at R slash Chulminati Pod on Reddit a wonderful website. A wonderful website.

You don't have to. You don't have to. No, I'm not saying you have to. I'm just, you can't. Okay, what will it be? Mr. Mathis, right? What? 21. 21? Oh, look. It's a listener story for Mathis to read from Dragons in my dungeon. Dragons in my dungeon.

Here you go, Mathis. My sleep paralysis demon predicted my mother's death. What a name to the story. All right. Pleasantries and pre-story time details. Hey readers and Orch, Luminati Boys, long-time listener, first-time poster and this story has been a long time coming. Welcome to this absolute roller coaster of a sleep paralysis story, which you'll have to take my word for it, is 100% true. This guy has a flair for the entertainment already. He's already, I like the command of prose that they've exhibited. Yeah. I've always been a hard skeptic, much like Jesse, until this very encounter,

which has now put me somewhere between Alex and Mathis. Once they figure out, once they figure out what an Alex and a Mathis exactly are and the differences between them. The differences get blurrier by the day. Pre-warning, trigger warning, this story contains a real death of a family member via cancer. Do you have my permission to read the story on the pod? To start off this story, a bit of background.

I've always had an interesting relationship with dreams. I used to practice lucid dreaming and had bouts of reoccurring dreams. But ever since I was around 10 years old, I've had sleep paralysis twice a week consistently. As you can imagine, this really sucks. Doctors don't know what's causing it, and I had no solution other than just dealing with it. To note, though, each time I had sleep paralysis,

I would never see the man in the hat, the hag, shadow people, or any of the common sleep paralysis demons people usually see. The feeling of being paralyzed for about five to ten minutes while staring into my empty, dark room, has been enough to scare the crap out of me regardless. And that was it for a large majority of my life.

I quickly got used to it whenever it happened, other than the uncomfortable feeling of being stuck, I just thought, oh, crap this again, waited until it wore off, woke up, and doomed-scrolled until I managed to get back to sleep again. Fast forward to 2018 when I was 21, much like any other night, I woke up to the familiar feeling of being paralyzed, staring at my blanks white ceiling,

but unlike all those other times, I had a deep feeling of existential dread, which wash over me, sending me into a cold sweat. I remember having a certain unshakable feeling of something carving its way into my dreamscape, something that was absolutely not meant to be there. That is extremely cool way of phrasing that. I love that imagery of like a well,

well written imagery. Yeah, this is like, yeah, phenomenal. While stuck staring at my ceiling, just praying this moment passes, something starts melding through my ceiling looking down at me. I remember every detail of this thing. It's burned into my brain with such intensity that I'll probably never forget it.

A short young girl and a ragged brown dress, potato sack like texture face deep bottomless sunken eyes large black wings matted black hair and a sewn closed mouth my breath grows shallow I can hear my heartbeat yeah that shit is horrifying

I can hear my heartbeat racing and I cannot help but just stare at this thing floating about 12 feet above me at this point I remember thinking well this is it this must be death and just waiting for it to either be over or for this thing to consume my soul or something After what feels like five minutes of staring at it, the stitching across its mouth rips open as its mouth unhinged, followed by a quiet, guttural whisper that says no words, just Roman numerals.

Oh, they, that's 26.9. In between each sequence of letters was a slight gap. The letters were XXVI and I-X. In between each sequence of letters was a slight gap, XXVI, one second gap, then IX, and this was repeated for what felt like five minutes. Waking up at that moment was nothing short of surreal. As I regained control of my body, the girl morphed back into the ceiling, and I was left staring at my normal blank ceiling, sweating buckets. I immediately wrote the numerals into my phone notes and then watched Finding Nemo for the rest of the night so it could calm down. Great choice.

Dude, you're going to just want you something bubbling. mine i always turn on futureama another good one i uh adventure time is one that often finds this way on my tv god god i got to finish those movies on hboh god yeah uh safe to say i didn't sleep again that night now just to know at this point i just wanted to forget about this dream for months after i suffered from terrible insomnia from the anxiety of seeing that thing again but we will return to the numerals pass forward again to april 2019 i was 22 years old and i just received the most devastating news that my mom has stage four esophagus cancer, and at this point, there is no treatment.

It was either truly a silent killer until too late, or she was really good at hiding symptoms. Either way, things went downhill fast from there. She lost her battle and passed away just five months after the diagnosis on September 26th. Yeah, I'm sorry, that sucks. I won't go into it, but that, of course, was a very tough time for me.

On the bright side, I did discover the power of pot and only since smoking that Good Green has my sleep paralysis dropped in the old grinch yeah to once every few months i'm curious if you've had any visits from the baked bean boy i've heard he likes to visit people who like legal weed and that he doesn't all the time i don't know if it's legal where you are i think it has something to do with not dreaming when you're high true true i will say though as note i have been dreaming a lot more these past few months and i have not let up on my weed so i don't know if there's a tolerance at some point cheese and tomatoes bro

Yeah, another time to skip to February 2020. I was obviously still grieving, but for the most part, I was doing pretty well for myself. I had just gotten out of a rubbish job and secured a new one, and I was hard focused into all the hobbies that brought me joy. Of course, in the UK, March is when the lockdown happened. Mr. Borr said, quote, can someone give him, what does Borr sound like again? I can't remember. He's a rich British man who looks like a big baby. staying aside and go indoors is that good if he was really far away if he was really far away

that sounds like oh you stay you inside and go out stay i can't do it yeah no that's what that's what that's what that's what you know like when voldemort comes to king's cross and there's that like thing underneath the the seat that's him that's Boris that's what you saw that's what you just were of Boris Johnson perfect i think that's perfect i think he's got one of those two yeah yeah i think he probably does anyway while he was at a while he had oh yeah that's Also, yeah, he said that while he has a party that was England and on shutdown. Yeah, I remember that picture coming out. I was locked in my family's house where my mom had passed with my other grieving family members.

But luckily, I was furloughed the entire lockdown from that new job I had just gotten one month prior. With that income, I could fund my miniature painting hobby. And of course, while I'm painting, I needed a podcast to listen to. In comes you lovey boys at Chuluminati. Oh, that's very sweet. And there we are. I listened to endless hours from episode one to current release and really love the dreams stories. Hearing those listener stories got me inspired to revisit my dream, remembering I never

actually looked into those numerals. And if you haven't looked it up yet, uh, XXVI is 26 and IX is 9. I immediately turned pale and stared at those numbers for a while thinking that's 26.09, because that's right, because everywhere else, except for like, dumb America does the dates the other way around where it's not 0926. It's 26.0. The month and day, my mom passed. At this point, I was questioning if the girl in rags was the cause of it or trying to to warn me either way i was freaked out old mothman problem how that's a good take actually was this a sleep paralysis demon some kind of angel or death visiting me to whisper cryptic messages or maybe it was pure coincidence thank you for reading this roller coaster of a story i hope you enjoyed

my suffering and feel free to ask any questions in the comments love that story first of all phenomenal story pretty so many cool like the imagery of the of the of the paralysis human is like from not having to witness it and only having to read about it fucking cool imagery yeah i imagine witnessing it is terrible if we were to take it obviously and just think about like the fact that you saw those numbers and if we were to tie it to uh the passing of your mother like you did in the story i do wonder too if maybe one of it's just like in your dream state like hypnagogic state you tapped into like a collective unconscious you know time doesn't exist as we understand it so maybe somewhere in your mind tapped into something that was coming that it didn't know was

coming and displayed it in a way that was demonic and crazy for some fucking reason. I don't know. I like Jesse's moth man. I like Justice's Mothman interpretation. There's also there's interesting vibes of you know like sometimes people talk about how dogs recognize

something different. They're like dogs can detect cancer. And it's because they recognize something different in a person that you might not notice and maybe on like a deep subconscious level you recognize something different about your mother and that was your dream coming to terms Like something's wrong.

I don't know the numbers and whatever, but like, it could be that as well. Like maybe you deeply knew something was up. And even because you said like, unless she was good at hiding it, like maybe she was. I don't know. Who knows? I think rather than, I think rather than try and explain it, you should just meditate on the fact that that occurred and try not to worry about too much about the explanation. Because from what it seems like, right, like nobody's going to be able to prove or disprove this happen. right?

Because it happened in your brain, basically. But if it did happen and it's real, I think it's worth spending the time thinking about that that occurred rather than that something must have happened that let it happen. And I think that if you think about it that way, that maybe eventually it will become clear why that happened in its own time. Yeah. Because I think like sometimes we get lost in trying to explain stuff when really we just got to look at it.

and see what it means in that way. Oh, I don't know. That's just my take on it. I guess that's what it means to be an Alex. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Oh, shit. Ah.

All right, is it my turn? Yes. All right, I'm going to pick number nine. I'm going to open that, and that's going to be a quote that says, Our good God is working of miracles. Five witches were lately executed, impudently demanding of God, a miraculous vindication of their innocency. Immediately upon this,

our God miraculously sent in five and over witches, who made a most ample, surprising, amazing confession of all their villainies and declared the five newly executed to have been of their company. And that was from a letter by Cotton Mather to John

Cotton on August 5th, 1692. How strange. How strange? I just realized what you're doing. What is your number jesse uh believe we were on six but you already picked six so we're gonna do seven sure okay seven there you go here's what it says on the fourth day of christmas that chelumina gave to me four scarlet whores that's crazy dude scarlet horse if only there was something that we've been

talking about for the last three months that would contextualize that i don't yeah i don't know Mm, doesn't have any idea. Okay, Mathis. Up to you. We just did 21, right? That's right. 20? 20, okay.

Here we go. Number 20. Okay. When I start to think about the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum and the drama and the obsession with getting the paintings back and the whole obsession around everything, I keep talking about it because it's fascinating to me because I was there. I was a witness. That night, I had plans to meet up with friends.

It was quiet on Palace Road. The street's very dark, just lit by this really faint amber glow from the streetlights. We were outside the building, and I asked my friend Justin, I was like, hey, can you give me a piggyback ride? I jumped on his back, and we started walking down the street. Nancy Clowardy. So it seems like Nancy Clowardy was a witness on the night of some sort of crazy heist. I don't know. Crazy.

I wonder whether that could be. Pretty cool. Okay. So I guess it's my turn again. And I'm going to pick. I guess number 11, which is, okay, let me open it. It says, on the sixth day of Christmas, the Chiluminati gave to me six suits a selling. Strange.

Okay. Okay. It's Jesse's turn. Let's go number eight. Number eight. This is the one that you've been waiting for, Jesse. Nice. On the fifth day of Christmas, the Chulimini gave to me.

five studio kings interesting five studio kings yeah what the hell does that mean what the hell does that mean that's so bizarre uh all right mathis 19 here we go on the 10th day of christmas that illuminati gave to me 10 men uh hoaxing okay okay we're getting we're getting kind of low on we've got liars and hoaxers arguably the same thing Yeah, we got, we don't have that many left. So I'm going to pick number, number 17, which is, no, actually, we just did number 19, right? Yep. Yeah, I'm going to do 17.

And that one is on the ninth day of Christmas, the Chaluminati gave to me nine psychics weeping. Oh, no one likes us, a weeping psychic. Yeah, what the hell? We're at Warhammer 40Ks. Nine cyphers weeping. basically what it means uh all right jesse your turn there's three left i think i'm on nine yeah there's but you've but we've gone all the way there's only three numbers left 14 15 and 16 14 15 16 i will take 14 then 14 is a listener story for me to read from burning star 17 it says i lived in salem's lot

please excuse my grammatical errors and lack of paragraphs i'm not so great at that stuff anyways i used live in a place that I still refer to as Salem's lot. It was a trailer park in Oklahoma. I won't share the actual name because I'm not sure if I could do that or not. It has since been torn down. I had a friend who was the manager of the trailer park. He hooked my friend and I up with a trailer at the back of the lot.

We would spend a lot of time between his trailer and ours. It began before I even knew he was living there. The first time I visited him at that trailer and had already gotten a little weird. It started with a Ouija board, is my understanding, but I can't verify that claim. I never saw one at their trailer, so I question that detail. Regardless, I've

heard the first tale identically from three people who were there, and the events that follow lead me to question very little about their claim. I'll change their names for the sake of privacy. We shall alter their names slightly and call them Taylor, James, and Dean. Taylor apparently came bursting into James as it feels weird to call my friends by different names, room in a panic, jumped in front of James' video game he was playing, said something about their coming, then proceeded to start dragging the dresser in front of the window. The next two hours were a flurry of trying to calm Taylor down while he kept saying something about demons coming through the windows while everybody else tried to calm him down. The entire time he was trying to

barricade the windows and doors. As fast as they could move the stuff back, he was barricading it right back again. I'm not honestly sure what they did to ultimately calm him down. Taylor also backs everything they say, except that he tells the tales with demons coming through the window as a factual part of the occurrence. A claim he holds to this day. Eventually, he is calm when the world moves on. Yes, everyone did wonder if he had a mental breakdown. It was concerning. His mental health was something we discussed. Taylor has never had any other moment like that. He's a sensitive person, but he's not crazy or mentally unstable.

He simply isn't. Fast forward to myself being there, I was getting a trailer with two of my friends through Dean. This week it took to get it ready. We stayed at his trailer. There was a lot of small things that happened daily and nightly. They did not discriminate against company. It would happen bold and outright directly in front of them. Almost every visitor had to have the weird things happen here.

They just do conversation within the. the first 15 minutes of visiting. Some things were small and more cliche, stuff falling off counters. One time, a power drill flew out of a cabinet and landed on my head. Glad the drill bit wasn't face down at the time. I don't know which one put a power drill in the top cabinet, but that was a stupid of whoever chose to do that. I'm not sure if that was weird as much as just annoying in someone's fault, but still typical of the environment. Water faucets would all turn on at once. Again, maybe a water pressure issue. Fairly easily enough explain. The shadows are not so easy to explain. We would have smoke circles in the living room with friends and make a game

of trying to figure out a logical explanation. The shadows at night through the windows would spin in circles on the wall every night. Not shadows from inside the room. The shadows of the trees outside from the streetlights. They would spin in circles around the room from wall to wall as in west wall to north wall to east to south, that kind of circle. No change of light source locations. The shadows of trees would be on the same wall what the window of the tree could be seen through with no shadow of the tree where it should logically be on the fall opposite of the window. They would spin for hours. We eventually just got used to it and ignored it. Footsteps would follow you everywhere. Everywhere. Voices could be heard from nowhere pretty regularly. We all played music

so we would jam there often. There were lots of instruments and amps just laying around. Anyone was free to grab whatever and mess around with it. I was playing on my friend's base one day while everyone was out at the store or somewhere. It was just me and another friend of ours who was only relevant to this one story. He was in a recliner in front of me, rocking it back and forth and just grooving with his eyes closed, and I was looking directly at it when he suddenly, the corner of the room growled like a lion. It was so loud that it drowned out the base. He flipped the recliner over backwards and hit the floor pretty hard. We both made the same unrepeatable exclamations before leaving the house and refusing to go back in

until everyone else got back. It was two in the afternoon in the middle of the summer when this happened. We both agree on the exact location it came from right by the television, which was off, right by the window, right where Taylor was trying to barricade in the living room while everyone was trying to calm him down. More than one occasion I woke up after having passed out in the living room by company. Lots of people would crash over if they got too stoned or whatever, claiming that there were people in the house laughing, but everyone was asleep. No matter who it was, they always claimed people were laughing in the house, usually saying it sounded like it was behind them. I never heard that myself. The one I would speak to was far scarier. Yeah, I said speak to it.

Yeah. Now how that's, yeah, now I know how that sounds. Yeah, that really happened. The trailer we had in the back of the lot was something far more than the manager trailer, which had been the location of every tale so far. We would call my two roommates at that trailer, Rick and Carl. I know these names changes sound like pop culture references, but it's coincidence, as I'm just slightly altering their real names. Carl stayed one night and refused to ever go back in the house. He left his belongings there for the entire lease.

Rick would stay for two weeks, then leave when his name was found written backwards in treasap on the inside of the inner pane of a double-paned window that sat 10 feet off the ground within the 10 minutes. It took us to go to this corner store a block away. We still don't know what that was about. We think it was a prank if we could fathom any way to get a ladder there. Get treasap.

Get in between the windows. Write the name. Get the windows shut back right because they were hard to open in the first place. Then leave with the ladder without anyone in the trailer park that you'd have to go through to get our trailer seeing you. It's also worth noting that this was still written there when we moved out because we could not figure out how to actually get it accurately to clean it due to its location being very inconvenient. He moved out that day. I stayed. After Rick moved out, it got weird.

There was half of the trailer that we never went into because it had weird vibes. It just did. Anywhere from like midnight to two in the morning, I'm a night owl, it would begin. It was the same every night. First footstep starting from the shunned half of the trailer, just casually walking down the hall, then through the living room, then the hall on the other side of the trailer. In the second hall, you'd start to hear what sounded like fingernail scratching down the walls. It would stop behind where you were sitting on the opposite side in the bedroom and kind of scratch at that spot for a while. Stop. Then the steps would stop by the door of the bedroom. The knob would turn. The door would open and just suddenly stop moving rather than come to a shut as though swinging naturally. The footsteps would walk into the room and kind of wander in the room for a bit. If you listened really, really close, you could hear something say, hello. If you answered back, it would say something else. It was also really quiet. So I was never too sure what it was saying if those were even words at all. It took me a while to just guess that it was saying hello in the first place, which I'm still not completely.

sure it was, I just know that if I would say something, there would be some kind of whisper in response. If I told it to knock it off, the footsteps would go back down the hall and go away. It would shut the door behind itself. Every night, this happened. It still seems unreal. There are so many tales from that time that I've forgotten or that I wasn't there for, so I'd rather not tell an incorrect version of. However, there were two events that stand out to me as so very unreal, except that I was right there to see it happen. It still feels imaginary to me, but I'm into sleight of hand, deception, and all related arts. Needless to say, I spent hours trying to recreate all these things.

I'm just into that. Hence why I stayed in the trailer alone. Anyways, moving along, one time a girl came out of the woods, just wandered out of the woods like it was nothing in the middle of the night. We were throwing a party, and she asked if she could join. It's weird to wander out of the woods, but it's worth noting that this was in Oklahoma, so it's not as weird as some people are going to think it is. Still weird, but not so off-putting that we sent her away. There were like 12 guys there, so we figured what harm could she do.

This is like, it's a hard image to silly lady just kind of wanders out of the wood. This is a horror move. This is like when the, like, what was that? Jennifer or whatever. This is like the one of those ones were like, yeah, this is a girl who is, they're 12 guys and a random girl walks out there. She's eating all of you. You're all dead. That's after he's empowered it by talking to it actively every single day.

You kidding me? It's finally physical. If this was, if this was a real situation, and I was with a group of guys and a random girl came out of the woods and she was like, hey, y'all want to party? I would be like, mm-mm, there's dudes in the woods who are going to kill us. I'm going to know this is a trap. Like, no way.

I wouldn't, you would never like, all right, good on her for being the girls like, screw it. I know how to have fun. No, lady, you're going to kill people. People are going to die. You are a killer. Mm-mm. There were like 12 guys there. So we figured, what harm could she do?

She stuck around. What harm could she do? you're all going to get eaten. She was a little weird, but overall, she was okay. A week or two later, we were partying again. It's worth noting that we were not the crazy drunk. Would the get crazy drunk or do a lot of drugs kind of partiers? We would smoke weed and play music, so we always had her wits about us still.

And this girl comes watering out of the woods again, asked to join again. We figured the first time was fine, so why not? At one point, we were sitting in the master bedroom smoking with everyone. One of those bathrooms trailers have with the jacuzzi tubs. We had to have like 15 people crabbing into this bathroom. I was sitting on a cabinet and that girl was sitting opposite of me facing me. She had this white hoodie on and at one point I noticed her staring at me weird. I looked at her and she looked down at the ground.

Her hood covered her entire face. When she looked back up, she was 80 years old and her face was melting off her skull. It's a single strangest thing I've ever seen in my life. Was your weird laced? She almost immediately looked back down and then back up with a normal face. I almost thought it was some weird trick of the light until she winked at me. I stood up, yelled some version of what the fuck was that and told her it's time to go. She played innocent and I just told her

I know what I saw and she knows what I saw. I know what she is even if she doesn't. Told her either leave or be drug out. I'm not a violent person. I would never hurt someone just to do it. I would never hit a woman. This was not a woman. Whatever this was got drug out by its collar and told never return

as it was thrown out through the doorway. About the time I started questioning if maybe I just did something wrong, here comes Taylor, walking up all quiet in the dark living room where no one else was at the time. He asked, did you see her face melting? Yes. So did I. Thank you for kicking that thing out of my house. Taylor is the only person to this day that says he saw that too. My final event in the trailer park was by four the most intense. We were moving out. Carl was paying us to move his stuff out for him, even though we were literally there in the car as we were moving. He refused to go inside. He didn't care. It was the middle of the afternoon. We tried to bribe him and still couldn't get him to go inside, even if no effort was expected from him. When I asked him why, he said the trailer screamed at him. I said that sounded goofy. Rick said he heard the same thing. at one point and didn't want to be incited either.

We went about moving. I lingered behind to finish a few things, and that was the last one to leave the trailer. There was a chair left in a bedroom still, so I sat down in the chair for a moment. In the very second I sat down, the trailer screamed at me. Not like a scream, though. It was like a thousand whispered screams coming from eternity itself. They sounded close. They sounded far away.

They sounded like they were inside you, inside the walls, inside your soul, next to you, in front of you, behind you, everywhere. There's no time for thinking in moments like that, I learned. You get up and you go. You go as fast as you can. You never know how fast you are until you actually hit fight or flight mode. The weirdest thing of the entire experience is that as I'm running, as fast as I can to the door, it was following me.

Not like I could still hear it. More like the screams were their own entity following behind me. I don't even know how to explain it, but I could hear where they were. The moment I crossed the doorframe, it went silent. I never went back in. I've never felt fear again since that moment. Nothing has ever come close to comparing to how incredibly frightening that was. I would rather find out that John Wick is out to get me than to hear that noise

ever again, ever for a moment. After the trailer things become fairly mundane. For a few years, my bar stools would be stacked on top of each other against the locked door from the inside. Eventually, that would stop happening. Anyways, that's the story of when I lived in Salem's lot. That's fucking crazy. What the fuck would that be?

Like a witch? That was a lot. that was a lot i i feel like it's supposed to be a witch in the story i feel like it feels like it's a witch or skin walker or something something from the woods that wants to party sounds like he lived on skin walker ranch very possibly the thing is i forgot forgot that it was a trailer park and it has salem's lot vibe because random girl coming out the woods now i'm like yeah all right that actually probably happened yeah that's probably just a random person coming out the woods that's yeah except she's old yeah she's old for a second

and she winks about it who knows who knows could have been the light like she stepped out the darkness and you're like whoa you're much older than i thought you were yeah like a vagus 40 you know why wink what is her thought she's like i'm gonna make him see my face actually as it is and then wink at him afterward what is the thought process for her there maybe just to fuck with him maybe she thought she had more power than she did uh hey we got two doors left uh so let's let's let's try and make them significant even though really they're just random okay uh jesse what number are you uh i just went oh that was that was you 14 that was me it was a huge story though mathis 16 then 16 here we go this is for mathis amazing that you waited for this one last why does so few scientists ever look at the evidence for telepathy

so called wait wait wait when they're the end why does so few scientists ever look at the evidence for telepathy so called i don't know how to print i guess that's how you say that yeah you're saying it totally rather like why do so few scientists ever look at the evidence for telepathy so so-called, right? Yeah, the so-called throws me off. Anyway, because they think, as a leading biologist, now dead, once said to me that even if such a thing were true, scientists ought to band together to keep it suppressed and concealed.

It would undo the uniformity of nature and all sorts of other things without which scientists cannot carry on their pursuits. Lorraine, oh, fuck off. Lorraine Warren Graveyard. So, don't, yeah. This is her anti-science diatribe, guys. This is why science doesn't matter to Lorraine Warren. a whole lot of things that don't matter to Lorraine Warren

including her husband fucking a minor in her same house yeah we'll talk about it one day we'll talk about that someday in the near future it's a tarot card for what's coming in the future um okay and finally Jesse door number 15 is yours oh I'm opening it and here's what it says on the eighth day of Christmas the Tumina gave to me

eight stones are glowing. I swear to Christ. If we go back to the fucking... Saved to the very end, by chance itself, this is truly a powerful Chulamity Christmas Advent calendar. Thank you guys so much for listening. We'll be back next week with Santel Clause, so come

see him then, and we love you very much. Happy winter. Happy winter, everybody. Goodbye. Oh, minisode time over at patreon.com slash Chulmini-Pod. Merry Christmas. I'm bringing it back. Bye. Someone has to... Yeah, no, Christmas ends.

Everyone. I'm going to war. I'm choosing to end the episode. Bye. Anyway, me and my wife were sitting outside indulging on our porch one night enjoying ourselves. I needed to go to the bathroom, so I stepped back inside, and after a few moments, I hear my wife go, holy shit, get out here. So I quickly dashed back outside. She's looking up in the sky in the hall.

I look up too, and there's a perfect line of dozen lights traveling across the sky. Thank you. I'm going to be able to be.