Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 336: Love, Lust and Lies

Episode Date: February 8, 2026

This week, Jesse takes us on a journey through urban legends of lust, love, and lies.CHILLUMINATI is a weekly comedy podcast hosted by Mike Martin, Jesse Cox and Alex Faciane. Hold on to your tin-foil hats and traverse the realms of the mysterious, supernatural, spooky and sometimes truly horrible - and your third eye will never be the same!Subscribe to our Patreon to support us and for extra content like full video episodes, weekly Minisodes, exclusive art, and more at http://patreon.com/CHILLUMINATIPODPLAYLIST LINK: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4BuVJ5MgiFbj80PVKMZ9PK?si=iqLnUcWnRxeWLYQGegv4BwMERCH: https://theyetee.com/chilluminatiThank you to our sponsors:Head to FactorMeals.com/chill50off and use code chill50off to get 50% off your first Factor box PLUS free breakfast for 1 year. *Offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase. Make healthier eating easy with Factor.Mike Martin - http://www.youtube.com/@themoleculemindset Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - https://www.youtube.com/@StarWarsOldCanonBookClub/Editor: DeanCutty Producer: Hilde @ https://bsky.app/profile/heksen.bsky.social Show Art: Studio Melectro @ http://www.instagram.com/studio_melectro Logo Design: Shawn JPB @ https://twitter.com/JetpackBragginLINKS:https://www.geekslop.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/elizabeth-klarer-232x400.jpeg https://www.geekslop.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/elizabeth-klarer-232x400.jpeg https://www.geekslop.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/elizabeth-klarer-portrait-of-the-alien-akon.jpeghttps://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Light-Barrier-Autobiography-Elizabeth/dp/1891824775/ref=sr_1_1?1 https://a.co/d/021KNZ6U

The difference between an emergency and non-emergency situation can sometimes be hard to spot. An emergency, like breaking a hip, requires a call to 911. But if a friend is having a mental health breakdown, call 2-1-1. If a water main breaks, contact 311. And for an incident like a past break-in, dial the non-emergency line. The right call gets you the right help. Learn more at Toronto.ca. slash make the right call, a message from the city of Toronto.

Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the Chulamati podcast, episode 336. As always, I'm one of your host, Mike Martin, joined by my big left and right foot, Jesse and Alex. How's it going to? You made me think of so many things in like a roller coaster. I thought you were going to get like weirdly political. And then by the end, I was thinking about Daniel Day Lewis. He said my big.

And I was like, yeah, he was left and right. I'm like, yeah, foot. I was like, oh. Yeah. Daniel Day Lewis. All right. Not a small, nimble feet like a worn. Oh, never trips.

Like a big foot. Oh, yeah. I got a lot of things going on that are like a big foot. Like just visually, like from a distance. What? Stop. Visually like from a distance, I feel like you might mistake me for a big foot just like on profile. Oh, yeah.

No, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I see that. No, I got a tiny ass dick, but I look like a big foot. Yeah. Well, yeah, but like from a distance and with the right angle, it could look like. like a foot no it's just because everything's really hairy yeah yeah so it's like hard to tell yeah no no welcome to the show everybody i'm so excited to you back we have to bring the flavor in

it's it's it's like the month of like love it's is it what are we on the schedule it's called sexy hot aliens month because this month is all about sex and aliens and all kinds of if you let it be yes that's true but only in February of 2026 Are we heralding it with a giant big big titty mantis lady in all our branding and a special like fuck playlist the Chaluma Noddy breeding program playlist which is available on our Spotify and we'll be available on all our social medias and stuff. What is this show? Go find it. I don't know. Like there's an aspect to it.

Mathis don't even dare. And I just mostly just ignore. Oh no. Mathis, that wasn't a question to you. That was to the audience because most things you do is which alien will I have sex with. I lean into the sex. I'm making fuck playlist.

I lean into the sex one time and suddenly I'm the pariah. What happened to us? Suddenly I'm the pariah of the group because of my sexual confidence. And then these two dragged us down, y'all. I was not innocent. They took us out of their gross level. In your fantasy world, Jesse, when did we lose our innocence?

Andrew WK? Oh, yeah, at some point I rubbed off on you and just really ruined both of you. Unfortunately, sex mysteries. Was that it? Yeah, and then I. Vigina Island. I realized we went too far.

And now I'm trying to pretend like I wasn't involved at all is what's happening. So then what's today's episode about? Well, gentlemen. First off, how dare you? But secondly, my goodness, today is a good one because I get to do something I've never done before. And I get to bring back a Jesse goof. But first, hey, patreon.com. Oh, what a website?

Notipod. Oh, yes. I like your there. Please. Guys, just, we're just, all we're doing behind the scenes is talking about how we can make the Patreon the most wicked shit you've ever seen. Already live show out for those who want to see it. All kinds of stuff going on. If you miss the live show in November, it's there.

If you're on Patreon, just go listen to it. It's actually the audio is good. I even, I edited myself. I tried to do a decent job. I tried to make the audience audible for the Q&A as best I could. but also while I was there on stage I also repeated most of the questions but it's a nice tight little show it's got some fun bits

Crandor literally destroyed me live on stage in the way that I haven't been since I used to do improv comedy is very funny and surprising in the way that it was supposed to be I had a great time Patreon.com slash too millipod Patreon.com slash two mollypod Patreon.com slash two mollypod sex playlist, sex playlist

back to the show. Okay, so last segues. Gentlemen, It's that time of year where for roughly a day, big corporations remind us that we should spend money on the person we love in order to show them that material wealth is the way to express that love to them and to boost corporate profits for another quarter. It's quite romantic. And in honor of that, I figured I'd get this month off right by tackling romantic themed stories from the world of this podcast covering all the, the topics we deep dive into. I love this. So,

once again, submitted for the approval of the Chaluminite Society. The Sexy Hot Aliens Society. Yeah. I call this episode Love, Lust, and Lies. Oh shit. Incredible. Perfect. Perfect way to kick off February. An L for each of us.

Valentine's Day season. An L for each of us. I don't like that. I don't. Too many else, man. An L for each of us, dude. An L for each of us. Which one is love? Which one is lust? Which one is lies? I want to be lust, but I feel like Jesse also has a very solid claim to lust. I'm lies.

Yeah, I would say that this is love, the love of extraterrestrials. Yeah, I'm lies, dude. I don't take it. I know I'm lies. You guys know I'm lies. I am the guy who lies. What is that means? Right.

Everyone tells the truth. Yeah. Everyone says that. The thing is, it's just about creating a little air of mystery, right? That's it. Sure. Yeah. No, that mean, that's it.

I was going to let the hang. Remember that. That's what that's what yeah. Okay. Yeah. So I'd like to begin today by jumping back into a topic we covered in a previous Jesse episode, Urban Legends. And it turns out there are many, many modern, modern myths out there that we just didn't tackle. And as you know, if you listen to that episode, we talked a lot about stories of young couples getting attacked by like hooked handed men or killers in the house.

basically all the warnings for kids to be safe out there when they're you know sort of exploring and potentially sexually explicit you know relationships when you're horny yeah like when you're horny stuff attacks you that's most horror movies when I'm horny I attack stuff I'm very sorry for your wife I did not it's not it's more like like throw books around smash a controller really big really big really big squish mellow. Have you seen that movie American Pie?

Pies? Do you guys? Is it any? No, is it any good? I'm never eating at your house again. It's a shame because you make excellent food. Yeah, sorry, man.

It's all about sex. It's excellent. I don't like that. It's made with love, but in a way, you didn't expect. That sucks. And so a lot of those tales were for young couples,

warnings, things like that. Well, older couples have their own stories and urban legends too. And I'm sure some of you listening right now have heard these stories and like all urban legends. You're like, well, that surely happened somewhere, right? Is this going to be, summer of 2004? Are we going to learn about the spooky nursing home cryptid that shows up

and gives you STDs if you sleep with too many elderly folk? You are not. No, this is going to get even weirder, dude. In the summer of 2004, summer of love. Yeah. Summer 2004, Nick and Sherry Shelby spent their second wedding anniversary traveling around the United States. They had made a promise to each other that they'd explore the country together before they got married and with jobs and whatever. Nick was going to

keep that promise. And so it took two years but finally they had enough to take a month off of work and travel around the U.S. and to make it fun, Nick thought it would be great to relive the journey of their marriage. In this case being like we're going to hit all the spots that were

when we were younger. where we met or something to us. Okay. So they were traveling around to different places. They spent some time in New York, which reminded them of how they met in school there. They traveled to Ohio to visit relatives, spend time with the family, that kind of thing. And eventually went south to Nashville, Tennessee because that was the music they were very much into and they were super passionate about it. Eventually, they ended up in Panama City Beach, Florida, a town where they had spent their first real vacation together as college kids for spring break.

and the first time the two of them had sex. Anyway, Nick being the playful sort, went and rented them a room at the same crappy motel they had stayed at the night they first made love. And it's one of those rooms where like the bed wasn't the shape of a heart. The bathroom was literally like in the room with them and had one of those champagne glass tubs that you can like climb up into and sit in that kind of thing. Everything had this weird slightly off putting red. velvet texture to it.

That kind of, of coloring was going on. That is such a weird thing. Yeah. To commemorate because, like, he was being playful, I suppose.

Yeah, like, but like, I don't know, like, isn't it better like one of the other times when you, like,

got your feet under you and, and, and learned how to learn, learn how to, you would think. Learn how to learn the love. Uh, the room seems serviceable enough,

though, as Nick and, and, you know, Sherry played, uh, with each other. they teased with each other.

They were like, this is so gross, but like, it's fun. We're, you know, it reminds us when we were younger. Anyway,

Sherry goes to the bathroom to change, putting on something a little more comfortable. Nick turns on the TV. There's no channels available at all, but there is like an on-demand movie selection thing. And so he starts scrolling through it all. And he looks at it in all the titles are titles and then numbers, but they're all titled like various porno things.

Hell yes. Like they are all. clearly just dirty porn. And that's the kind of vibe of the place. So he turns one on. He looks at it and he's like, okay, turns another,

another type of porn. Anyway, as he starts scrolling back through it, he turns on one. He's talking to his wife trying to figure out, like, what do you want to watch? Which porn do you want to put on while we thought?

Yeah. Kind of getting the move. That's what they were doing. For the audience. Porn during yes or no. Just let us know. Yes. I think it's,

I think it's, It'd be honest. I think it's going to be a mixed bag of people say definitely yes and definitely no. I'm just interested. I'm just interested. I don't know if there's like an Alex Mathis and Jesse of porn on yes or no. But in case you're wondering, I'm a no. I don't have. I'm not against it, but it's not something I would actively be like, we should do this. If it's on and it like sparks the mood, awesome. Go nuts. It's not my move. It's not my move. Hold on, baby. Let's turn something on. I can't get off until it's not my moon. Uranus on Uranus 2 is on the TV. I'm rarely in a situation where it happens to be on when someone else is around also, but that is another conversation and not one that I'm too worried about the answers to.

So Sherry's in the bathroom. Nick's going through all these pornoes asking her like, what do you want to watch? What do you want to do? And she's like, find something extra dirty. So he's not really sure what extra dirty classifies as, but he starts scrolling through the videos. And he notes again, each title has numbers next to it. And as he's going back, the numbers decrease. And it hits him, these are dates. And eventually he stops on one presses play. And he notices that like it isn't great quality.

Oh, and super weird looking. And it kind of looks like it's filmed in a hotel room. His hotel room. Yeah. Yeah. He got the back door, uh,

Google Drive archive. And he is looking through all of them. He continues to search. now a little more panicked because when he clicks the next video, it is clearly the hotel room they're in right now. And it's a couple having sex. And he's like, what the shit?

So he starts scrolling back through all the numbers because they're by date. And he sees the date that he and his wife were there years before. I would have put that on. I'd be like, all right. We have to beat our last performance. Babe, have you ever played DDR? are. We're going for a new high score. Gotta go longer than the actual video goes. As his wife struts out

lingerie from the bathroom, she notices Nick is not looking at her, not paying attention. When she approaches him. But in a way, he is. I mean, I guess you're right. And she she sees that there's a couple on the screen laying on the bed about to full around. And he turns to her. She turns to him. It is them. As younger college individuals. and they look at this thing and it is their entire time staying there. They watch their younger selves begin to kiss and as the video played out,

Sherry looks around the room and for the first time notices that with all the red padding and all the red velvet shit everywhere, there are little tiny red lights all over the room. They have been filmed the entire time by someone who's been watching them. In my mind, I'd be like, I'm about to get really.

Rich from suing the fuck out of this place. How did they get? Why is it on the TV? Given the performance of a lifetime, that's a certain lawsuit. The fact that it would ever be accessible from a TV in the room where you're filming the fucking person is insane. We take this as a true account.

Maybe the TV's got like somehow hooked on the network, like the local network of the actual security system in the hotel. I see it. I get like you could just go to the media server. That's that's in your house. Yeah. Yeah. And much like all these other stories, there is no real ending.

The ending, of course, being they're being filmed and they're being watched right now, the end, right? Like, what happens to them? Who knows? A incredible. We have no clue. You suddenly realize you're being filmed. What do you do, boys? Do you continue first?

A lot of time people get worried about like an Airbnb or someone watching them. And I think if you're a woman, it's much worse. But if you're like a fat old man, shit. I don't care. I'm like, yeah, whatever, man. You want to see this? Cool, dude. Good for you, brother.

I think I would pretend like, I would pretend like I don't know and that I would like text somebody to call the police and tell them that I am currently being recorded. So that I don't like. Go James Bond on them. Yeah. So that I don't like wig them out. You know, like, if I start freaking out, they're going to like. Yeah, because you don't know if like who's running that thing.

They could be a pervert or they could be a killer. You have no clue. Yeah. I'd keep going, but stare directly into the camera the whole time. Oh, keep going. That, I mean, okay. Emotionless cold staring. Right, right, right.

No, sure, dude. Yeah, yeah. You'd probably hate that. You'd get me that show him. That'll never record anyone ever again. They'd probably hate that, dude. That'd probably piss them off so fucking much, dude. Yeah, I'm ruining their little fantasy.

Fuck, yeah. But of course, this story, real or not, it doesn't really matter. It's an urban legend. Serves as a warning like they all do. In this case, it's one of those like, avoid, quality establishments or when you think of Airbnb's it's warnings for young women to like don't stay at Airbnb alone you never know what's good like that kind of thing these are all straight out of a like scary stories to tell in the dark type just like from 2025 version a TikTok ad for a lock for your

Airbnb door that I get a lot yes yes you see those all the time where it's someone being like this is how I prepare and you're like no you don't this is an ad for a lock and it's insane what you're doing trust one person they have a like user profile file. Like they're not going to risk it all on a profile at Airbnb.com to have a killhouse. Right. Right. But the best part about this is most of these stories, the reason why we believe in them to some extent and we worry about them is because in reality, there are some things like this that really do happen. And I have one of those stories. And I just am so excited to go through this with you because, oh my God, I can't believe. this is real and it super is. So in the New Yorker back in 2016, Gay Talese, a writer for the book, Thy neighbor's wife, which is a study of sex in America.

Is that just one name or two names? Gay to Lee's is one name, first name, last name. Gay to Lee's. Okay, got it. And he's a writer who wrote that book and then writes an article for the New Yorker in 2006. So the book comes comes out much, much earlier. But in 2016, he writes this article for the New Yorker

and he recalls in this article the story of a letter he received in a mail that sent him down an insane rabbit hole. And the letter reads as thus. And I would love it if Mathis, you could read the voice of the person who wrote this letter. They're horny. Are they horny?

Just this is, this is what the guy I love these like a method. Are they horny? Whether it be recording Shulamati podcast or anime cult or any of the number of other things I do, I often find myself in what I like to call a time vortex. You know, where time just disappears. I want to eat better or you have zero time and zero energy to make it happen. Well, that's where Factor comes in.

Thank you for Factor for sponsoring today's episode. Factor doesn't ask you to meal prep or follow recipes. It just removes the entire problem. It's two minutes, real food, and you're done. I realized cooking healthy meals just wasn't going to happen when I was staring at a pile of research notes at 8 p.m. with a completely empty fridge. And look, you're not failing at healthy eating. You're just kind of like failing at having three extra hours every night. To be a gourmet chef, that's what I tell myself anyway. It helps me feel better. Factor meals are already made by chefs designed by dieticians and delivered straight to your door.

You just have to heat it for two minutes and eat. And this isn't like your sad, icy TV dinners. Factor is always fresh, never frozen. You're getting lean protein. it's colorful vegetables and whole food ingredients with no refined sugars or artificial sweeteners. They have over 100 rotating meals every week, including high protein, calorie smart, and even a new muscle pro collection for strength and recovery. It eliminates the mental load of what's for dinner entirely.

I've been using a factor for such a long time now and I encourage you to at least check it out. Head over to factormeals.com slash chill 50 off and use code chill 50 off to get 50% off your first factor box plus free breakfast for one year. Yes, you heard me correctly. That's factor meals.com. slash chill 50 off and code chill 50 off to get 50% off your first factor box plus free breakfast

for a year offer only valid for new factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase make healthier eating easy with factor thank you again to factor for sponsoring the episode dear mr tlisse right talee how he say it yeah tillise okay since learning of your long awaited study of coast-to-coast sex in America, which will be included in your soon-to-be-published book, Thy Neighbor's Wife. I feel I have important information that I could contribute to its contents or to contents of a future book. This is like an email you, we would see in the Epstein documents dump.

This is literally that vampire message, but just like from like a sex guy instead of a vampire. The man goes on to explain. There's a world under this city you don't understand, Mr. Thule. It's a world of fucking and sucking. If you need a hand broaching, it's sphincter. You don't know how accurate you are. And I cannot stress, this rabbit hole is deep. The man goes on to explain that he's married.

He's a father of two. And he has bought or long ago bought a 21 room hotel near Denver and who, with the assistance of his wife, cut holes in the ceiling of more than a dozen rooms, used aluminum screens to make them look like vents, which he then. covered and used carpeting and stuff in the attic to cover up the fact that he was literally just watching guests through the vents for decades. Good. That's absolutely fucked.

It's so scary. This is a guy in the vents just sitting there. He then said this. The reason for purchasing this motel was to satisfy my voyeuristic tendencies and compelling interest in all phases of how people conduct their lives, both socially and sexually. I did this purely out of my unlimited curiosity about people and not as just a deranged voyeur. No, that's part.

I like how he says not as, he didn't say not as a deranged voyer, but not as just a deranged voyer. He's like, oh, I am one. But that's not all I am. I am a copy. I am an absolute freak on a leash. If you're saying, I bought a 21 room hotel motel in order to spy on people, you have to say, yeah, I'm a pervert. You have to.

Capitalism is a problem. No one should have that much money and be able to do that. He then explained that he had logged accurate records of the majority of the people he watched at the hotel. And he said this, which is just, what are we talking about volume ones? Because that's fucked up to me. Decades. Decades of people. Like, how many gigs are we talking?

Oh, goodness. This is what he continued to write in the letter to lease. This is what he did. He said, I wrote about these people and. And compiled into. Interesting statistics on each, i.e. what was done? What was said? Their individual characteristics. Age and body type. Part of the country from where they came and their sexual behaviors. These individuals were from every walk of life. The businessman who takes his secretary to a motel during the noon hour, which is generally classified as hot sheet trade in the motel business. Married couples traveling from state to state either on business or vacation. Couples who aren't men. married, but lived together, wives who cheat on their husbands and vis-a-versa, lesbianism, of which I made a particular study, homosexuality, of which I had little interest, but still

watched to determine motivation and procedure. The 70s, later part, brought another sexual deviation forward, namely group sex, which I took great interest in watching. I have seen most human emotions in all their humor and tragedy. carried to completion. Sexually, I have witnessed, observed, and studied the best first-hand, unrehearsed, non-laboratory, I feel like he'd say non-laboratory sex between couples and most other conceivable sex deviations during these past 15 years.

My main objective is in wanting to provide you with this confidential information is the belief that it could be valuable to people in general and sex researchers in particular. So you can see this guy kind of has an attitude about what he's doing. Like it's actually not just voyeurism. He's doing a stub. He's like he's like having some fun with it like Zodiac or something. I have a little dry mouth and I almost don't want to fix it because I feel like he would just constantly speak with like a little. Yeah, exactly.

I'm like, SMR voice. Yeah. So nasty. This guy. Oh my God. He continued to explain he was not a talented writer, but was seeking someone to share his story. And he felt that Mr. Talese, a guy who was writing about sex at the time, would be perfect.

And he invited him to come to Denver, to see the motel and stay as long as he wanted to get the story. As long as he could film it. This guy could be anonymous. Oh, yeah, of course. He didn't want people to know who he was and what was going on there. At first, Talies was conflicted. Because how could you possibly as a nonfiction writer not use the real name of a person who, you know,

wanted to do this and also was a person that invades people's privacy. I don't know. Ask Lou Elizondo. This is like committing, this is like confessing to a crime and being like, absolutely. You're going to film the bodies? And he just don't put my face in it. Yeah, like, Tiles reflected on the fact that like, okay, I just got done with my book

that I went and hung out with nudist swingers in Southern California. and everything I saw is kind of how this guy sees what he's doing. Except no consent. Right. Except, you know, the very important consent fact. And he was like, I don't know what to do here. Because what if he's like a psycho like Norman and Bates or just some peeping Tom or just like an absolute fool of a human being doing something illegal? Like he didn't know, but he needed to.

There's something deep inside Talese that was like. I need to go meet this man. And so he's not, I get, I get following the crazy because it always leads to something amazing. But this is fun. This is. Yeah. I hope that the end of the story is and then he reported into the police and then he went to jail

the end. I think genuinely that this and you can go to the New Yorker and read the whole thing. There's so much. There's so much more than we'll talk about. But like, I think in 2016, this is him right into the New Yorker as like, I knew this man. And this is my confession. knowing this man who was doing this stuff. Okay. So yeah, at the time when it was pertinent, he did nothing.

Which I think a lot of writers do these days. Which, you know, it happens. I feel like this is such a- We literally just went through the warrants where we, people knew what they were doing and nobody did anything. I feel like this is a crime. I feel like what he has done now is now crime. It is, I will say,

100% the spawning of the people, that's a crime. But there's something weird that starts to happen here. What the journalists did also, I think is a crime now, right? Like by not saying, anything? He's like, I did all these crimes. Well, no, because that could just be hearsay. It could be, like, as far as he knows, without evidence, they're lying and making it up. It's all, it's all this messages.

That's true. It's the problem is like, I can walk up to somebody on the stream be like, I murdered three babies yesterday and then walk away. But if it's published, but it's if it's journalism, right? Well, that's what I say, Jesse saying, it didn't go published. Like, he's talking about this in 2016. But I'm saying, this guy's book came out in the 80s. But couldn't he just get arrested now for revealing that he did this?

I have not a clue. All right. Well, I don't know. I think it's, I think it's a little bit suss. So, um, upon meeting this man in Denver, they learned his name was Gerald Fuz. O.O.S. Like the ball. Fooze ball. Yep. Do you guys like foos ball? I love it, but it's, I'm not good at it. But I, I like how angry it can make a small group of people. Alex, since, uh, Mathis was Fuzz, you can be Tiles. This is what he said about him. he seemed in no way peculiar. In his mid-40s...

Hold on, hang on. No way peculiar after he described him in every way he did. Okay, all right. Sorry, I'm like, no, he's very... He seemed, in no way peculiar. In his mid-40s, Fuse was hazel-eyed around six feet tall and slightly overweight. He wore a tan jacket and an open-collared dress shirt

that seemed to size small for his heavily-muscled neck. He had neatly trimmed dark hair and behind horn-rimmed glasses, is he projected a friendly expression, be fitting an innkeeper. Is this J.R.R. Tolkien who wrote this? Writers, man. They be right. Okay.

Fuse told him that he would give him a good room, one of the rooms that did not have a peeping tom hole in it. Nice. Thanks, dude. I bet you was telling the truth. I got you back, dude. No pipping tongue home. And he's like, and I'll show you around when my mother-in-law goes to bed

because she does not know about what goes on here. And then he said, uh, this to him, which is kind of what I just said, but this is for Mathis. We'll put you in one of the rooms that doesn't provide me with any viewing privileges. My wife, Donna, and I have been careful never to let her in on our secret. And the same thing goes, of course, for our children. Yeah. So not a family except for Donna and, uh, foos himself. He said, no, I'm a wife and I.

Room 202 where we don't peep on you. Tell me this is, this turns out to be. be the Warren's because this is about as low as Ed Warren at this point. As they talked, Fooves explained that he and Donna met in high school in a farming town 65 miles outside of Denver. They'd been married since 1960. His childhood was a strange one according to him. His parents, while kind, never openly showed love to each other in any way he would consider sexually romantic. As an example, he gave his mother would get dressed in a closet. So the dad couldn't watch.

Like I love Lucy, like separate beds. Like, yep. I used to get dressed in my closet like when I had like a roommate. I used to go into the closet because it made the rest of the house quieter. Damn. Mathis. You good, bro? Yeah, I'm good now, man.

Yeah. Cool, cool. Then you can read this next quote from food. And so being very curious about sex even as an early adolescent with all those farm animals around, how could you avoid thinking of sex? I look beyond my home to learn what I could about people's private lives. This is not saying because he saw a bunch of pigs fucking in his farm.

He saw animals fucking on a farm. But his parents wouldn't. Even as an early adolescent is like, that's the time. First of all. Yeah. Yeah. Second of all, why, like how did that translate into private lives?

Well, I'll tell you. I'm assuming he started being a voyeur to his neighbors. Oh, yes. Because, well, he eventually started peeping on his neighbors. And his neighbor was his aunt in her late 20s. At the time, she was married to a man who would frequently get drunk and pass out. And so she would walk around the house naked. She would like, you know, pleasure herself and stuff.

And Fuz would snoop for hours. Oh my God, dude. He remained a virgin. And it wasn't until he traveled the war with the military as an underwater demolition specialist. So that's how he got the money. What now? That's how he, I was thinking this whole time, how did he get enough money to purchase a 21 room hotel? Yeah, he was, he was a like underwater demolition specialist in the military. I assume he got some pay for that money, some kind of engineer, right? Yeah. But he learned everything he knew about sex at the time from what he describes as bar girls.

Now, I don't know if that means prostitutes or no girls at bars. That means he went to the local Applebee's on five dollar margarita night and hung out and just that's what he learned but he insists that the entire time while he was having sex with these other girls his obsession was still his aunt he still saw her in his mind's eye as this like it wasn't necessarily the aunt part but more the snooping on the part there was some control over like he like he was doing the thing and she liked the excitement yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah just like the pigs exactly yeah yeah yeah you don't have a concept of being watched during sex like that. Some wires got crossed when he was young and like hormones are kicking in with his mom hiding away.

You got the big wires across with his odd wires. He sees it. But then the farm animals fucking and it's like. I accidentally cross with his pee wires. Yeah. And then that happens to dude, he was adolescent. The pee wires were the dominant wires happening for a while.

There's nothing wrong with any different type of wires. It's just the bomb disposal expert who's cutting them, bro. That's what you got to talk to. Shoot the hostage. You know what I'm saying? So Taliz is listening to all this happen and is shocked. Fuse is just dumping backstory on him. And like all good reporters and anyone who takes any good notes, he just sat there and didn't say a word.

He just let him keep talking. If he believed him, he had to, he should have called the police. There's another, there's another kind of voyeuristic thrill of it is getting by telling this guy all this stuff without any of the evidence and being like, also you can't tell anybody. Yeah. That's like so fucked that he did. this is this is like the type where it's like different where it's like it's like it's not like politics where you just like are breaking like a NDA it's like people are getting sexually assaulted yeah i don't know crazy oh it's it's a holy problem much more problematic

it's incredibly problematic i don't think any of us are just agreeing with that i just can't believe when it's like 2000 it's like 20 years ago okay maybe but still holy shit 2016 is when this article was published in the new yorker but all this happened in the 80s. But he still had it in 2004, right? The hotel? Oh, no. That was, that was the urban legend story. Oh, he, so he, but doesn't he say, didn't he say he owns a building? He's owned a 21 room building since the 70s. And I'm sorry, 60s. Okay. But we have no idea if he still owns it or anything, probably not. But when, when he found him, when he came to him in 2006 or whatever, he then, yeah. No, no, I'm sorry. He, they talked in the 80s.

And the article for the New Yorker did not come out until 2016. I see. I see. Okay. So it's been 30 years-ish. No, no, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was happening during the time this guy was publishing his book, which was in the 80s. Yes.

Okay. Right. So when he returns home from the military, he starts dating Donna, his wife, who was a nurse in Aurora. His job was so boring, according to him compared to the military. And to escape this boredom, he began to go for walks at night that he called his voyeuristic excursions, where he'd cruised through. the neighborhoods of Aurora and spy on people who did not close their window blinds. You just kind of look in and I know what you're thinking.

Did his wife know who was creeping? Yes, 100% she did. He already said me and my wife, which is like so wet. Yeah, yeah, and exactly in the court I read. He was like, be my wife. He said this for Mathis. Even before marriage, I told her that this gave me a feeling of power. Donna and many and most nurses are very open-minded.

Most nurses. Most nurses. He would know he's a nurse connoisseur. They've seen it all. Death, disease, pain, disorders of every kind. And it takes a lot to shock a nurse. So she even goes out a few times to help him. That's fun.

And it was she who encouraged him to do what officially becomes his hobby, which is take notes and keep notes of all of it. Just become the weird, like. archivist. Yeah, take notes of everything you see. So as the two explored the motel property and he's telling Fuz all this stuff, Tiles assumed Fuz was in it for the sexual gratification or excitement or the power. He said, you know, a voyer's motivated by anticipation. He invests endless hours in the hope of seeing what he wishes to see, which is people getting off or whatever.

But according to Fooze, for every erotic episode he saw, he also logged hundreds of hours of mundane moments representing ordinary human life. Channel surfing, snoring, peeing, primping, tedious nonsense, as Fuz described it. D'Leese becomes intrigued by the notion of a voyeur who over the course of all of his trespasses inadvertently starts becoming a social historian. Like a human ant farm man. It reminded him of a book in the 19th century that was published called My Secret Life, which I guess an anonymous Victorian Englishman dished about like all the sexual rendezvouses and wild escapades and voyeuristic encounters of high society in Victorian England and the Victorian life. And then he, you know, Tiles includes in the article literary critics, Stephen Marcus wrote of My Secret Life that amid the

amid and underneath the world Victorian England as we know it a real secret social life was being conducted the secret life of sexuality and basically he said a man cannot see too much of human nature because there's a truth we all hide from each other about it which is super interesting

there is a secret sexuality happening and it's one of those things where you know man cannot see human true nature of like what we are because like underneath us all we're all kind of just like horny beasts, right? Yeah, it's almost like we're still got like our animalistic instincts that are still

part of the brain and all that stuff. Yes. It's almost like acknowledging sex and talking about it makes it kind of like less of a weird repressed source of like shame and guilt. It's also one of the biggest things about America where you look at the rest of the world and people are a little more liberal when it comes to sex. And here it is awkward to talk about. It just is.

It's crazy. It is crazy. like how chill it is versus how not chill it is and how subtle the differences yeah it's so different but it's interesting it's fascinating i mean this is this simplification obviously but like we were a country that a bunch of puritans showed up to create and we're okay with violence because they use violence to take what they wanted like violence was more accepted especially as like we became a country civil war violence was in our history so violence and movies and entertainment as much as it was kind of like up to the courts for a bit in the 90s there, especially with video games and

stuff. It's always been a much more accepted part of our culture than sex by every measure. But also it's not, though. There's a weird thing about it where if you, so having been overseas a bunch and, you know, just listening to various radio and TV, one of the things I noticed recently in the last couple times I've gone is here in the United States, when we talk about death, we'll see ads for things like, has your loved one passed? Things like that.

If you go, I remember sitting in a hotel in England and the commercial was literally just like, well, I'm going to die. I hope I got money to take care of my kids. Like it was so blunt and matter of the fact that the difference is crazy because we deal, I think, in our, an American culture with like death more often, like people getting murdered and shit. But we don't think of it that way. No, we don't associate like, oh, that is a life that ceased to exist or like maybe one day that will be me. Or definitely one day that will be me. You know what I mean? We don't have that conversation.

We like to imagine. Yeah, we like to imagine. One passed and moved on instead of they're dead. You know, it's, we're very bizarre. We don't like confronting stuff. We are basically a nation that's therapy. There's too many different kinds of Americans. There's too many different kinds of Americans for us to talk to each other easily,

all of us. Right. Sure. I'm not, I'm not saying that's definitely happening in any country, really, but a country of 12 million or a country of six million versus a country of 300 million that like, makes the population of every microgroup bigger than it is in almost any other country. And so it's like a million countries sitting on top of each other with all these different

values. And that's why, you know, you read these articles that are like, you know, Gen Z is afraid of sex or like Gen Z is drinking like your father or like Gen Z is like having more babies than ever before. It's all just because there's so many. It's a fascinating man. They really are. It's just a fact.

It's not a bad way either. An age group is not a good way of classifying Americans. I'm just saying. No, absolutely not. It's just crazy how that all changes your mindset. Talies is like deep down wondering at this point, if while Fuz is wild, maybe if he obtained and read the manuscript all the information that Fuz recorded. Oh, like the actual notes?

Yeah, he could create the next My Secret Life, right? Like, he could do it using this information. So he really was like, you got to let me have access to your journals, dude. Please. When he finally got them, he noticed something fascinating. And this is the part where I really wanted to talk about because it is somehow exactly what you would think, but also not what you would think when you think about like a voyeur, right? What? Okay.

So despite the sexual nature of the entire. thing, Fuse was writing from moment one. And I assume this is because he spent years walking around town, writing stuff down. He was writing as if he was actually conducting a study. Perhaps years of writing those notes actually really helped him see himself as a researcher. Like as if he's like talking into a fucking. Yes, yes. And that's why like, for Mathis, this is, uh, this is the first, the very first couple he watched, the very first time, the complete thing. Subject number one, Mr. and Mrs. W. of Southern Colorado. Description, approximately 35-year-old male in Denver and business 510, 180 pounds,

white collar, probably college-educated, wife 35 years old, 5, 4, 130 pounds, pleasingly plump, dark hair, Italian extraction, educated, 37, 28, 37, measurements, by the way. Activity. Room number 10 was rented to this couple at 7 p.m. by myself. He registered and I noticed he had class and would be a perfect subject to have the distinction of being number one. Oh my God.

After registration, I just see number, I say it out as like a McCard in that moment, unfortunately. After registration, I immediately left for the observation walkway. What the fuck is the observation walkway? He literally, I'm on the goddamn fucking enterprise right now. I immediately left for the observation walkway. It was tremendous seeing my first subjects for the initial observation enter the room. The subjects were represented to my vision clear than anticipated.

I had a feeling of tremendous power and exhilaration at my accomplishment. I had accomplished what other men had only dreamed of doing, and the thought of superiority and intelligence occupied my brain. The brain of Victor von Doom. As I peered. into the vent from my observation platform, I could see the entire motel room, and to my delight, the bathroom was also viewable. Together with the... To my delight as if he didn't fucking sit it up himself. I know. Together with a sink, commode, and bathtub, I could see the subjects below me. And without

question, they were a perfect couple to be the first to perform on the stage that was created especially for them and many others to follow. And I would be the audience. After going to the bathroom with the door closed, she sat in front of the mirror, looking at her hair, and remarked she was getting gray. He was in an argumentative mood and appeared disagreeable with his assignment in Denver. The evening passed uneventful until 8.30 p.m. when she finally undressed, revealing a beautiful body, slightly plump, but sexually attractive anyway. He appeared disinterested when she laid on the bed beside him, and he began smoking one cigarette after another and watching TV. Finally, after kissing and fondling her, he quickly gained an erection and entered her

in the male superior position with little or no foreplay and orgasmed in approximately five minutes. I don't like reading any of this anymore. Stop being good about a paragraph and a half ago. She had no orgasm and went to the bathroom. Conclusion, they are not a happy couple. He is too concerned about his position and doesn't have time for her. He is very ignorant of sexual procedure and foreplayed despite his college education. This is a very undistinguished beginning for my observation laboratory. I'm certain things will improve. He went to like Jesse dream interpretation mode in that conclusion right there.

That is absolutely fucking insane. Hopefully it'll get better. His first one, he was like, that was disappointing. And so he's like, hopefully everything will get better. A lot of people's first times is disappointing. It's okay. That's what I was saying. In fact, it did not.

In fact, he questioned so much of what he expected. Younger, more attractive couples, spent more time arguing and being belligerent than actually having sex. While the older, less attractive people were finding time to get it on in all sorts of crazy ways. He writes of one couple in their 50s who had been just talking about their son and daughter-in-law, which they did not. not approve of and both had a routine at night where they just went through this whole hygiene thing. And he was like, it was very boring watching them primp and do all this stuff. And then they went to bed. But then he notes the next morning at 9 a.m.

He observed them having oral sex to completion. After watching them for two more days, he said. His conclusion was, educated upper middle class older couples enjoy a tremendous sex life. Fuck yeah. Tremendous. Tremendous. He watched a threesome between two men and a woman. who, when they were done, laid in bed and discussed vacuum cleaner sales.

He complained that a couple argued because the wife didn't want to stay in this dump, which upset him personally. He was like, I love this motel. What the fuck? As time went on, he became more and more disenchanted with all the guests and any idea of sexualism from this voyeurism. He tried to get off, I guess, but was forced to confront the larger. human condition. He watched as a pilot and his friend stayed in two separate rooms where the pilot

brought a girl back to have sex and the friend put his ear to the wall and listened to them and jerked off while the other couple had sex. Man, what the fuck I want to know that. Which of course prompted foos to wonder like, is everyone a voyeur on some level? Of course. I love that he's letting himself be affected by this as a scientist in a way. He then continued to watch more and more people. And his takeaway from all these private lives was not what he respected. He spent years doing this recording guests. And his conclusion was this.

Like this is he wrote this as a conclusion after years of research in his mind, research. Conclusion. Thousands of unhappy, discontented people are moving to Colorado in order to fill that deep yearning in their soul, hoping to improve their way of life, and arrive here without any money and discover only despair. Society has taught us to lie, steal, and cheat. And deception is the paramount prerequisite in a man's makeup. As my observation of people approaches the fifth year, I am beginning to become pessimistic

as to the direction our society is heading, and feel myself becoming more depressed as I determine the futility of it all. Yeah, yeah, welcome. would be if he's still alive, he probably hates today. This is basically, I don't know if you guys ever watch that guy on YouTube who like builds the giant ant terrariums

with like all the lizards in it and stuff. This is exactly what he's like. He like has a god complex and then he's like, I don't know how to take care of an alligator. And then like he puts it in there and it eats all his lizards and he's like, hmm. What can I learn from this?

What half nature rot? What hath man done? God complex is accurate because after this point, he doesn't stop. Instead, he sets up scenarios to test his guests and record the outcomes. Oh, my God. Dude has a reality TV show before reality TV was the thing. He would, for example, set up like a briefcase in an area of the hotel that was out in the open.

And he would have a conversation with his wife about like, oh, someone left a briefcase with a bunch of money in it. we should definitely call the cops. And they'd be like, okay, yeah, we'll do that later. And first I need you to go do a thing for me. And then they leave the room. And they wait and see if someone would take the briefcase. And what's in the briefcase? Fucking anthrax.

Nothing got you. Just a piece of paper says, I got you. You're a bad person. Out of 15 guests who were subjected to this honesty test, which included, by the way, a minister, a lawyer, an army lieutenant colonel, only two people of 15 return. the case to the office. Everyone else either tried to steal it or dispose of the case after finding out it wasn't, there was nothing in it.

The funniest part is that he said the minister pushed the suitcase out the bathroom window into some bushes so he wouldn't be caught. It's just like Jesus in a lot. That's how I got my dorm is like a girl jumped out of the window because she was high and the dorm got like checked on during a party. She freaked out. She just like jumped into a tree and got trouble. He would continue to watch drug dealers, prostitutes, a murderer.

He saw a suicide happen so much more. He saw somebody murder somebody? He saw someone murder someone, yes. He saw someone get bashed in the head. He then saw someone kill themselves. Again, he's been there for decades at a motel. Like not a fancy hotel, like a motel on the side of the road, that kind of thing. And he's seen some shit.

And all it's doing is making him realize that like, I really. I don't know that I should have done this. He's like, humanity is much more messed up than I. Like, I was trying to get off on some shit. And now I've learned the real humanity and the real human nature and it really upsets me.

Now, you stop me from my plans of purchasing and setting up a voyeuristic motel in my future. Just to, just too depressing. Just too depressing. That's sad. It's sad to see a dream guy. I'm glad that's the karma he got.

I'm kind of glad. Like, I'm not happy fucking, like voyered and walked all these people secretly, but the fact that it made him depressed. It became like a monkey's paw. I didn't realize it wasn't just going to be like people having sex in swings. Yeah, he genuinely had a whole revelation about like what he was doing.

The article is massive. I don't want to get into all of it. That's not the point of the episode. But I'll include in the show notes and send you guys a link to the New Yorker article. Please go check it out. It's wild. He goes into detail about a lot of stuff, especially like I was talking about the murders and stuff. He talks about that.

The point I'm trying to make with all this, though, is there are not only people who get off watching other people, but to some extent, all of us have a little voyeurism in ourselves. And it makes you think. It's one of those like projection things. It makes you think sometimes that someone could be watching you. I think about it all the time. I constantly have thoughts of like, especially when I'm in a new area, whether part of the country or a different country of being of wondering like looking at people's houses or apartments and like you know maybe someone has like the windows open you can see a TV on my thoughts just like I wonder what their day to day life is

like no curiosity of how other people live their lives I think is normal and that's fascinating yes but I am not also like rock hard as it's happening I'm not like no I don't I'm not interested in seeing people's like moments that they don't want any but that they think no one can see I just find the interesting how people live in a in a sociological perspective however I will also say, you know, something that we all have in common is that we have been POIs at like conventions. Sure. Yeah.

And in those contexts, it does feel like you're being stalked. And it is correct to be paranoid that people are looking at you a lot of the time because they usually are because you are somebody that they know and they're watching. And it feels so fucking weird. But also, I'd like to think. And even though it's a little bit of a stretch, in a way, technically, porn is voyeurism. It's like consensual voyeurism.

Sure, sure, sure. But like you're looking in on other people doing it. You're not present. There's nothing that's contributing to the furthering of yourself as a life form about watching somebody else fuck. It is nevertheless fun. Yeah. So that is that that that's one aspect of this.

But gentlemen, in love lust and lies, we are not done. Because I submit for the approval. of the Chaluma Night Society. One more story. We've got a few of these. I hope you're ready. I am. As everyone knows,

New York has a rich history with countless lives lived and strange stories to be told. I realize now that that sounds like a dialogue from Gangston, New York, but I assure you it's not. Dude, Bono song just starts playing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Time speeds up rapidly, and we see all of New York before us. In the Flatbush area of Modern Bookland, those of you who have never been in New York essentially, it's comprised of boroughs. And in each borough like Brooklyn, there are little small neighborhoods like Flatbush. That's what I mean by that. Originally, by the way, I believe that they were all smaller towns that were part of the Dutch colonization of New York in the 1600s. And then later, the British came and like took control of all

that. But yeah, I'm pretty sure Flatbush has been there since probably the beginning. Anyway, a weird tangent aside in flat bush an old estate once stood called melrose hall it was at the corner of bedford avenue and winthrop street and it was built in 1749 by john lane um basically he wanted a place that was a little further out because at the time brookin was a little further out from the city it wasn't what it is now which is just part of the city and uh he wanted to be kind of out in the country and so but he also wanted to travel to new york city that's crazy that brooklyn was the country at one point Pretty much. Yeah. If you look at the photos of, I actually have a photo of the original one to show you guys. New York is such a weird feeling, man. I've only been in New York a couple times and you've been L.A. so much more. But when you go into New York, it does, it feels like being swallowed by an endless C of C. It is like you just, you feel like you could get lost there and never be found and be okay. Unlike L.A., it's tall. So it like looms over you. L.A. is so much bigger, but it's like Yes, LA is like it's such a bigger landscape.

You feel like you can. Yeah, it feels like it's. Yeah, exactly. No, the tallness of every building is a skyscray. It just feels like you get swallowed up. Yeah. This is a photo of the hall. I believe it's taken late 1800s, this photo,

but it gives you an idea of the countryside they're talking about. Shoutouts to www. Brownstoner.com. Dude, that's incredible website. That is the most colonial New England. Like, there was a few, though. There's a few. I drive by those in Massachusetts all the time.

You know this looks like, honestly, to me, like as a Californian is like a studio, movie studio house, like the front. It does have that vibe. It's so funny. Like that old school, NGM studios. Yeah. My old neighborhood I used to live in in New England. There was a 1700's house that looked literally exactly like that that sat the corner of the

streets of people lived in. Crazy. 1700. It has a little sign out there. And it's like, it says it would say the year was made and like historical, but people actively also still lived in it. Yes. That's basically all of Boston.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Lane wanted to live in this sort of English-style house with luxury out in the country, but also close enough to New York that he could like do whatever he wanted to do. It's a three-story home as you can see. And it is considered by many to be one of the strangest homes of its day. Because whether it was designed or not designed at all, it has a weird scheme to the whole thing.

It has multiple extensions that were added after the initial draft. it seems like all it was kind of on the whims of Lane, who is, as we'll learn, a party boy. And so it's got things like he made a large banquet hall and ballroom with formal gardens and terraces. There were secret passages, secret rooms, secret stairwells. Dude was just having a good time designing this thing. I'm just having to have one regular stairwell in the house I live in. Yeah. But he needed secret ones.

Lane, apparently, was banished from. England because he was a legendary partier and degenerate. And so he figured he'd start again in the colonies. Yeah, he was banished. The country? The whole entire country. Jesus fucking Christ. Yes, he was banished and came to America because he wasn't degenerate.

Think of the levels of degeneracy you have to have. Listen, Alistair Crowley wasn't degenerate enough to get banned from England. Yeah. That's crazy. But this also was the 1700s. So different five. Yeah, true. He probably just like kissed a girl in full view of the judge of the town.

Yeah, he probably showed off his ankles or something. I was going to say she was showing ankle at the same time, dude. It was a bad situation. Somebody probably died when they saw that. He figured he'd start again in the colonies. And one of the things he was known for was his parties. And so that is why he built the hall the way he did. Massive ballrooms, but also secret rooms for wild party behavior.

Because what else do you do when the 1700s are fun other than throw insane parties drink all day long else do you do? Uh, probably like paint yourself red and make fun of poor people. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nealless to say, they never do that anymore. They never do that anymore.

No, thank God that doesn't happen. No, they have an island for that now. Right, right, right, right. You don't need to paint yourself red. You can just wear red. Um, near this say, the life of a partyer soon got to him and he became sick and was forced to sell the manner. Thus, the manner would fall under the ownership of Colonel William Axel.

Axtel was born in Jamaica, the second son of a lord and moved to New Jersey in 1746, to dispose of some of his land holdings and to enjoy himself in New York. And if you're wondering, what the hell does dispose of some holdings mean? Well, if you're rich, it basically means in a fancy way saying, I have assets I no longer need, and I'm going to sell them so I can go live a crazy life in New York. That's what he did. Okay. God bless him. He had such a good time in New York.

I see a few of them on a bookshelf behind you, dude. Those are your assets right there. About 20 more years and then I'm home for you. You could dispose of some of the, yeah, that's what you got to have triples. You can sell one and still have one to show off and one to put in storage. Like those are the rules. Exactly.

One to kiss, one to show, one to sell. Yeah, exactly. He had such a good time in New York that he became known in social circles as William the gay. And I found that on, by the way, in a website called Americanaristocracy.com, which is a real website that lists all of the people from like the Gilded Age and all their ancestors. Were you the one who's just telling me about this? Yeah.

Yeah. It's a crazy website. I was blown away how much information they have. That is such a funny thing for there to be like a wiki of. It's like it's like a cinematic universe. It's like famous homes in the U.S. A list of like late 1800s top 400 people that were alive in New York. Like the 400 most important late 1800s people in New York in the Gilded Age, right?

Um amazing man so yeah exactly so it's crazy money yeah it's yeah it's basically like the hoos of the elite scumbags of new york west egg or whatever yeah the fucking guys from before gatsby yeah so we're living through a new gilded age now though so we can kind of get to enjoy this the funniest part is the fucking party dude like i know that there's a lot of things in the world that suck right now that we'll never forget about but the fucking party that's like the fucking great Gatsby party that Trump went to with all his rich friends

while everybody's like dying and starving They're all wearing animal masks Yeah fucking what dude Update me that was this period And that's a lot of periods When you have a lot of money And no worries and free time

Versus everyone who's working for you Who is doing everything Yeah All right well I think this Trump guy Might not be the best So we return to Axel back This not the 1800s We're going back to the 1700s still

And uh he just like Lane was a partier that's probably according to historians how they met is at a party at Melrose Hall and that's probably They went out at the kebobstand afterwards

Lane was like hey do you want to buy this place for me I can't really keep it up anymore I'm sick and stuff anyway does New York look like Assassin's Creed to me like how I'm imagining it looks at this time like how big is it so New York Manhattan

looked like in actual they're making a city but this is outside the city so it's not the empire people said they lived outside boston and they really meant it and now when you say that you're still technically part of boss right you know okay um so he his man he's so lucky basically axel was so loved as a like friendly partier guy um again he was william the gay they called him because he was just like the happiest dude in the city everyone liked him he was so approachable he was in all all the social circles. And that's where he met Margaret DePaster,

who was the daughter of a prominent New York merchant, Abraham DePacer Jr. And his dad, so I guess her grandfather was Abraham DePacer, senior, who was the former New York mayor and governor of New York. What? So these are like the crem,

these are the top of the top of the top of New Yorkers. Margaret was filthy rich. Abraham filthy rich. The grandfather, filthy rich. And so he, Axel, married into this one of the wealthiest, if not the wealthiest family in the city. For much of the time, the two lived in their mansion on Broadway in the city. But Manor Hall, I'm sorry, Melrose Hall, don't know why I said that. Melrose Hall would serve as a summer retreat.

It did have one other use, though. Like most elites of any age, he, hated the changing power structures of the late 1700s, especially if it meant losing any power he had since they were considered very rich. And for people who don't know, New York, unlike much of the rest of the country, was very loyalist to the crown. And so when revolution breaks out, he and his wife's family and everyone, they take the side of the Tories, which for non-American history buffs is basically loyalists to the crown, people that support the king during the revolution. That's kind of the vibe. He has made a colonel and command.

of a loyalist regiment called the Nassau Blues, which are from Nassau County, which if you're serious where that's at New York. It's on the other side of Queens from Manhattan, kind of like where JFK is, the airport. Yeah, yeah. So he and his boys, this is apophical.

I can't find real evidence, but people on the internet say that they were called the nasty blues, because they went around just rough people on. Nasty blue. There's West the city and like we're a posse and beat the shit out of revolutionaries. It's kind of like the guy who, painting the town red the opposite after the battle of brooklyn which is when the british took control of

new york for the rest of the war by the way um it was a pretty awful place to be if you were a revolutionary or had sympathies of the patriots or whatever but um if you were with the crown it was the best place to be in all of the colonies at the time and if you weren't like i said axel would hunt you down with his boys there are even rumors that in melrose hall he held any captive revolutionaries in the wall and he would torture them in dungeons and stuff. And it didn't matter if you were a man or a woman or whoever. That's good. He would find you, capture you and take you back to Melrose Hall.

Man, wonder where they got that idea. That's fucking. All right. This is just everything is the same, you guys. Every single thing is the same. We're watching Alex reckoning. Evil is so. He's having a moment right now.

Yeah. Evil is so simple, you guys. It is so. It's so simple. It's so easy to not. It's just I fucking hate evil. You guys hate it. That's why we at Chulamati pod work for the good corporation Chulimani.

Chulamati. Right, right. That seems safe. We are not evil. We are not evil. So this guy was doing his thing. And of course, the Americans win the war. And as a result of his loyalty to the crown, Melrose Hall is confiscated by the U.S.

government. They take it from him. They're like, you took people here. held them, you are an enemy combatant. We're taking your home. Fair enough. And that is where the legend begins. Because once it was claimed by the government, the slaves who worked the property had a lot of stories to tell about what went on there.

He had many because he needed people to clean the home, tend the fields, take care of the giant garden stuff. And since he was rarely there, only for parties or to hold human beings in cells, these people maintained the grounds and took care of everything and knew all the secrets. And they told stories of hearing people trapped in walls, crying from the floorboards, hidden on the grounds. They were never directly allowed to see any secret dungeons, but they saw people come in and no one come out. That's a HP Lovecraft tale is what you're talking about right now. Oh, yes. And it gets kind of, it gets kind of there. As I said, acts to this point.

point is a loyalist and the dude is capturing and imprisoning revolutionaries and the patriots are like we got to capture this guy he's going to do to us we need to find him so as legend has it and there are many versions of this story this is just one of them during an attempt to do just that axel is saved by a woman who again the origins are different in all these different stories but it seems to suggest she's a native girl and he can't say her name so he just calls her isabella Either way. All right. She saves him and he is instantly smitten by her.

The best way to describe her, if you look at all the various sources, is she's essentially Esmeralda from Disney's Huntsback in Notre Dame. She's like that kind of gorgeous. And he is like not just, I'm going to cheat on you with my wife, but I'm going to make you my secret mistress, move you back to my summer manor at Melrose Hall, give you a secret room and live with you in secret forever. I love you that much. That's going to go.

That always works out really well. Yes. And he did just that. He took her back to Melrose Hall in secret. And he whisked her away to secret room. The only person he told that was that she was there was his most trusted elderly slave named Miranda. Lorraine Warren.

Oh, sorry. She told, you know, she was told to take care of her. never tell a soul and so for some time Isabella stayed in the secret room the biggest one they had and was taken care of by Miranda Isabella want to be there or was this like I love her information about that I don't know my dude did she even want to be called Isabella?

Yeah like I don't know if they just named her Isabella yeah again we don't know anything about this girl we just know that a girl showed up who was gorgeous dark skin dark hair showed up everything else is one of the, there's one version of story that it's the sister of his wife. You know what I mean? Oh, okay. There, we do not really know. It's just a young, beautiful woman is the story. Got you, got you. So, um, she stays there and he has Miranda take care of her, but he keeps her hidden from everyone, slaves, his wife, other high society elites. He knows that like, if this gets out, he's done for,

which is, you know, it's one of those things that all these people definitely did stuff. like this but if you were caught everyone shamed you and that was it you're done yeah and so one night he called her into the study and he was like hey um the war's getting crazy i'm going to need to go off and fight and i don't know how long and be gone for i might never return i need you to know that i love you but i want you to take some money and make a fresh start of it and she is pissed she's like how dare you buy me off, treat me like some common whore you brought back here to bang, and now you're going to give me some money and tell me to go. F you, bro, I love you.

I thought you loved me. And he's like, I do love you. And she's like, no, you don't or else you wouldn't do this to me. You're going to come back to your wife and I'm just going to be gone. Is that, is that what this is? And she's like, I will wait for you. And he's like, that's insane. Why would you do that?

She's like, because I love you. And he's like, oh, man, I love you too, baby. anyway he says fine you can stay here in melrose hall and we'll just tell all the slaves you're here and you can be open with it and it's fine she's like but people will find out and that will ruin you which will in turn ruin me because i'm associated with you and then you won't have anything you have no way to take care of me so like just i'll lay low for a little bit you come back to me and we'll go from there like you can you can you know maybe break up with your wife over the wards whatever you deserve better get out of there man he doesn't love you like you love him

get out of that house. So Isabel is like, it's okay, boo. I'll keep our secret. I love you. I'm going to stay here. It's fine. So the plan was she would hide out with Miranda's help while he went off to go fight. When an Axtel was like gone almost a year, right? When he comes back, his wife hosts a massive welcome party at Melrose Hall. And there are tons of guests, family is there. Everyone's celebrating his return, but his only concern is finding his mistress and celebrating with her. Because he loves her. And he's just married to the life because like she got the money. Like a gothic tale of woe is what we're doing. Yeah. Finding an excuse to leave the party. He goes to search for for Miranda. And he's like,

yo, slaves. Have you seen Miranda? Which is a crazy thing about that's what he did. He like went in. It was like, no knock. Hey slaves. Have you seen Miranda? And they were like, uh, did, did no one tell you? Miranda died six months ago, dude. And he's, He is, according to legend, his face, all the color leaves it. He becomes horrified as the slaves continue to tell him that on her deathbed, she kept talking about someone in the walls. And they thought she was delirious or maybe remembering all the people that were held in the dungeons before he went off. And so they weren't sure what she was talking about, but just figured she was dying and people say crazy shit.

So he wanders back into the ballroom in shock because he realizes, is Moran is the only person who knew where this woman was. In six months, she's definitely dead. She's dead in the wall somewhere. His secret lover is dead in the wall somewhere, dude. This is fucking literally an Edgar Allen Post story. Yeah, this is fucking crazy. Now, legend has it that at that moment,

the candles in the hall flickered out and before the entire party, everyone there, the ghost of his dead lover appeared. She revealed their affair to the horrified crowd and unable to handle what happened. Axtel kills himself as the ghost of his dead lover rushes to his side, a literal Shakespearean ending. Do you think this little urban legend stopped a bunch of aristocrats from having affairs? Because I feel like it didn't work. Maybe. I don't know.

The story say he died that night. But one of the things I found out through American aristocracy, by the way, that website is that. It turns out this dude returned to England died later in 1795. So that whole thing about him dying at the party probably was like American propaganda about a Tory. You know what I mean? Like it's just like some like roast like like look at this shitty thing that he did. And then look what happened to him. Yeah.

I mean there's there's there's you know, again, other versions of the story. One is like I said, it was the sister that he fell in love with. but he had to marry the sister for money, very much like, you know, the Hamilton, he's the wrong sister, like that kind of thing. There's another version where he finds Isabella's body, and he carried her corpse to a tree in the garden, the first tree they made love under, and he buries her under it, and you can hear her echoing whales in the night. Either way, the legend of that night and this dead lover is one that continued to haunt Melrose

Hall, from the dead men in the dungeons to the buried, slaves on the ground to the girl in the walls. Melrose Hall is considered one of the most haunted sites in the United States. And if you're wondering, Jesse, why is no one talking about Melrose Hall right now? Jesse, why?

Thanks, bud. Thank you. There you go. It was tore down in the early 1900s to make way for urban development. So wait, what's there now? I will actually show you. So this is just to give you another photo, so you can kind of describe to people. This is

another photo of the area. this looks like a photo from a fucking horror video game to the hall yeah this is fucking looks like Iqabad crane walked right here and got his head cut off like yes straight up new England as hell like the bleak the bleak landscaping is so funny like just like really far spaced trees along a snow lined path with those houses that look like bloodborne but like America like over the garden wall but bloodborne yeah and then seeing that seeing the way it used to look. A hundred years later, it looked like this.

Everything, all that path stuff gone. Whoa. Okay. So now it's like a normal main street. Yeah, like just like an old timey looks like Washington, D.C. or something. And the building is slowly becoming decrepit because no one wants to live. It's haunted, right? Then in the early

1900s, it's tore down and this is what replaces it. This is the exact spot. Would WAA Brown's duplex houses the most perfect houses ever built for two families the privacy of a one family house trimmed in the finest of selected hardwoods okay what's crazy is these houses right now would be millions of dollars oh my god yeah oh absolutely these like turn of the century 1900s duplexes are so popular and so exist this is this is well you can see buildings like this in boston all

all over the place yeah let me steam heat hot water system connected with steam plant electric light 16 large, well-arranged rooms. Two, handsome build, bathrooms with shower. Each apartment of eight rooms is entirely distinct. Crazy. Yeah, so that's what it replaced with. So Melrose Hall no longer exists, but it was considered in the 1800s

to be one of the most haunted places in America. Fucking awesome. And it's funny that it's been so far removed, and yet this story is still here. Yeah, it's a thing we couldn't explore. look at or anything. It doesn't exist anymore, which is crazy. And I will say there's been no signs of hauntings in these new places they built on top of it. So, 38 flat bush Ave, Brooklyn. 738 Flatbush Ave, Brooklyn. Is it still there? Yeah, it's got

to be a bit. Anyway, gentlemen, dude, it's Peppa's Jerk Chicken Restaurant. Is that what it is? It's a jerk chicken restaurant in Brooklyn. That's amazing. That's amazing. That's a second. A hundred years later Completely different It's a restaurant now Dude It looks It looks fire

Happy Land Smoke shop I doubt this is the same exact 738 flash Flatbush But if you're living in New York And you're in Brooklyn Get yourself Some delicious Peppas Jerk chicken

It's open 24 hours You dickheads Go get some That looks fucking amazing Dude what the hell I've got one more Story to submit It doesn't even look

Not correct Like if you look at the street Where this is chicken places. It's like, you can still see like the bones of like buildings that look exactly like the buildings

from the Brownstoneer thing, the duplex houses. They look exactly like that. If you look across the street from the chicken place, those I think might be, yeah, because that's 737. Oh yeah, it's on the other side.

Yeah, so it'd be, it's right there. It looks like you can see like the building windows. Yep. Don't look undifferent. No. So that's kind of interesting.

That's fucking crazy. Anyway, Jess has got another story. Sorry. Yes. I'll take the, I'm just blown away by that. Yes. Finally, our last story submitted for the approval of the Chuluminitis Society. The last case of love, lust, and lies.

I'm surprised we haven't done this. And if we have, I'm shocked that I've forgotten it. Oops. But everything that we do, first story was urban legend. Second story was a ghost story. So, of course, this one has to be. In 1910, Elizabeth Clare, was born to a well-to-do family in South Africa,

raised in art and music before getting her meteorology degree from Cambridge and going to work on decoding German communications during World War II. She was a pilot, an author, and would later go on to address the House of Lords in the UK and read her published papers to the UN, but none of that is as important as the stories and books she published about a con, her alien lover from another world what yeah let's go

a con is the name is this A K-O-N I know it sounds like A-K-K-K-N but she says it's pronounced a con A con this is her Please give a description of Elizabeth To the listener She looks like Ruth Bader Ginsburg has a secret But it's like hot young Ruth Bader Ginsburg

And she's like in a madman kind of vibe And she looks kind of sassy She looks kind of Wow. Somewhere between Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Catwoman. Sure. Like the Adam West Catwoman. Let's put it.

Let's, that's good. That's accurate. So back when she was a child in 1917 of the ages 7, she and her sister were outside their home. In, boy, I'm going to mispronounce this, the Quasulu Natal Midlands,

which if you're curious where that is in South Africa, it is the East Coast facing the Indian Ocean. And apparently I had to look this up. It's known for its beaches and nature reserves these days. Apparently, it's always been beautiful and has a lot of influence from Zulu culture, but also Indian culture due to the port cities. So that's kind of the vibe of this area. Interesting.

Okay. Anyway, she and her sister outside feeding puppies when they see something in the night sky. And because Mathis was our pervert, Alex, I would like you to be Elizabeth. I will be Elizabeth. Oh, man. Okay. Yeah, wow. We were feeding our sealie-ham puppies in the stable yard when we saw it.

The sun had just gone down behind Drakensburg, and the early summer sky of the natal midlands was clear and rainwashed after the storm had passed. The guinea fowl were calling to each other as they prepared to roost in the water tree that grew near the house. Suddenly, they stopped calling, and my sister and I both saw it at the same time. An enormous silvery disc swooped down towards us, moving with a churbed. Charging brightness out of the clear expanse of sky, a globe of light as clear as a pearl. Fascinated, we watched it, maneuver over us while the puppies left their food and ran yelping into the kennel.

Then suddenly, another huge sphere fell out of the sky, rolling down towards us, glowing orange-red, and rotating slowly as it came. Puckmarked with craters like the moon. A fiery and terrifying planetoid was silently and gracefully sweeping through the upper-reaching. of Earth's atmosphere. And as it slowly rotated, suspended on its course towards us, the silvery disc moved with a flash of light and paced beside it in a slow passage across the sky until the planetoid moved out of the sun's rays to the north, leaving a long thick, whoops, leaving a long, thick trail like smoke across the heavens. So she and her sister run back to the parents to be like, we just saw a meteor or comet or whatever that was about to hit

earth get diverted by a UFO. And the parents are like, yeah, sounds like a meteor all right. And the girls are like, that's not what's important here at all. A UFO just saved Earth from an incident. And she is so worked up over this that she spends all night long listening to, as she says, the heavenly music of Mozart to sort of like inspire her for what she's seen. Claims the incident changed her life forever. How did she listen to it?

I would assume on a record player. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. She became obsessed with UFOs. She was obsessed with what she had seen flying in the sky. So much so that 20 years later, she became a pilot as a way to get closer to the sky and to get closer to space. She even married an R-A-F pilot and travel with him around the world.

And in their own words, or in her own words, she still had this longing, though. There was something missing in her, and she said this, Alex. Growing up and going to live overseas to further my studies could not dim the memory of the great silver spaceship hovering the mysterious sky. Unconsciously, I would look up into the depths of blue, hoping, hoping my eyes, clouding with tears I could not restrain as a snatch of music or a sunset in the sky would cause me suddenly to catch my breath in memory. even marriage and the birth of my first child could not ease my longing. My husband chided me on being so restless and flew me into the sky in a tiger moth biplane,

teaching me how to fly. Encouraged by his understanding, I would fly off into the depths of blue, seeking the ship of space in her own environment. It's funny because even today, back then, seeing a UFO does something to somebody that often ruins their fucking lives and makes them obsessed.

And it's just like this weird, I wonder just like this kid. curiosity that gets hit when you see something you can't explain that you can't let go of because it makes no fucking sense. And much like many of the stories we talk about, her obsession becomes something that she's constantly looking and by constantly looking she starts seeing stuff. And one such example is another one for Alex. And this is while traveling with her husband in a plane.

outside the window, this is what they see. It was blue-white and pulsating, and it moved with incredible velocity straight for our tiny, helpless plane. I tapped my husband on the back of his neck. He looked around and saw the enormous craft slow at speed, changing color to a brassy yellow as it leveled out and paced out plane. Fascinated, I observed every detail as I pressed my nose against the starboard window,

seeing the bright, hazy outline of the great circular ship as it pace alongside. Three portholes, shedding a softer glow, looked out from the side of the dome that sloped up from a vast hull. Beneath the hull, an intense blue-white light alternated with the deepest violet. No sound reached my ears above the frightened roar of the DH moth. Suddenly the great ship flipped onto its side, rolling along like a vast wheel. And then, with a brilliance of intensified light emanation, it disappeared, banished. How wonderful I exclaimed into the headset. It was uncanny, my husband said.

I was not afraid, though. I felt as if a magnetic force was influencing my mind. The craft was the same type of spaceship I had seen as a child. So now she becomes convinced. It's the same ship. It is reaching out to her, and it's trying to contact her. She just doesn't know how to contact it back. but she feels like there's something missing in her.

She starts to feel empty and she starts praying for this ship to return into her life. Apparently, this incident was registered and the two were interrogated by the South African Air Force. But I looked online. I can find no information about that at all. I did find, however, she is mentioned in a lot of reports on the CIA.gov website. and there's even one from 2016 in the NICAP aerial phenomenon stuff where they talk about her. She's listed as part of it. Yeah, her name's up there and well, you'll keep going.

I can put my two cents after. But yeah, like I said, found no real reports from the time period. But her obsession continues. She is super into this. But unfortunately, World War II breaks out and she gets caught up in that. She said this in her book, Alex. I longed to escape from it all. but found myself bound up at the forefront of the nation's preparations for the defense of very existence.

In a world becoming more dangerous to live in, I wondered at my husband's nonchalant attitude and realized that he would think nothing of the dangers involved. His only anxiety was to shield me from them. I long to escape from it all, but found myself, well, I just read it twice. Oh, it's in there twice, it's why. Oh, my bad. To shield me from them. So as she's, you know, being shielded from the anxiety of the whole thing. She starts to test and see, I'm trying to think of the best way to describe this, but she starts to test and see,

okay, if they're trying to communicate with me, maybe I can communicate with them telepathically. So she starts to try and talk through her mind to animals, to other people. She starts testing it to see, well, maybe surely they'll hear me. If I just keep talking and practicing, surely they'll hear me.

And also she believes she has powers that other people don't necessarily have. And she thinks it's because she was born under Haley's Comet. Okay. Like she got like an X-Men? Like what she got? I don't know what to tell you here. She starts to think like, oh, she has other things going on in her life. I'm like, okay.

Okay. Her goal is to practice communicating. telepathically, even though she doesn't know that she actually can, but she's hoping that if she keeps trying, at least they'll be able to hear her on some level. So she is encouraged by someone in the book by the name of the chief. And I think it's supposed to be Air Chief Marshall Lord doubting. But I'll be honest, she only describes him as the chief. And so I do not know. Anyway, he apparently is an old friend and they go to meet him at some point. And, and he's a little friend. And And there she tells him all about the craft she saw, this longing she has.

She figures a man with his experience in the sky, seeing stuff up there, he would understand. And she says, like, I longed for an escape from all of this. I just needed to get away. Anyway, this is the conversation they have. Mathis, you can be the chief. And this is pretty easy for Alex. It's just reaction things. But this is what she said to her.

Yes, my dear. I am very anxious to hear what you have to say and what you think. A report has just been handed to me that an unidentified flying object was cited by two of our pilots while on a cross-country maneuver this afternoon in the vicinity of your husband's flight path with the TK4. Sometime back, I received a dispatch from South Africa stating that you had both reported the citing of an unidentified flying object, which paced your D.H. aircraft while, flying over the Drakensburg.

This is what Elizabeth had written in response to this moment. His eyes softened as I looked directly into them and told him every detail of our experience. What chief said this? It is, as I suspected, our planet is under close surveillance by an alien, but highly advanced civilization from outer space. And you, my dear, seem to be dedicated to this. You know what to look for. You are not afraid.

And I can think of no one more qualified. besides you have intuition and imagination which is very important in this advanced research will you do it for us see that's an interesting quote that the fact that's like having an imagination and uh is like in an intuition is important to this because of all the okay continue sorry i'm sure i want to i want to ramble did i read it oh no i see okay of course i should oh i i don't see yeah of course i shall do it i answered without hesitation thank you my dear i feel sure something will come of this help and guidance will be given to the solely afflicted peoples of this planet who seem unable to live in peace and harmony. And as you know, you have been thoroughly vetted. We know the full history of your family and its ancient lineage. Clartu, Nick Tu Baradoo. Which honestly, if you look at the way she describes her past in the book, it almost has a vibe of like someone saying their one 16th Cherokee princess or some shit. Like, she's definitely like, I was born under Haley's Comet and I have this, this, this and this. and my parents were this, this, this, and this, a lot of that stuff.

The chief goes on to then end the conversation with this, which is interesting. This research may take you many years. Therefore, every detail of information must be given to me, no matter how fantastic. We are dealing with a fantastic realization. I want you to use your powers of extra sensory perception and follow up any hunches you may have. This extraordinary ability you are so liberally endowed with can be a tremendous value to us. Eventually, they receive orders to return home to South Africa. And upon arriving in Cape Town, a fire breaks out in one of the hangars.

Perhaps it's an accident. Perhaps it's sabotage. No one really knows. But her husband is there trying to push the planes out of the way. Two planes are already on fire. She runs over to go and help him. And a tank explodes, knocking them both back and both out. When she comes to, she's in the hospital.

It's like a movie scene. Yeah, what the fuck? Tom Cruise running and they like, pwch. Exactly. Yes. Just like a movie. see. When she comes to, she's in the hospital, and she claims that when she was passed out, she had a wild vision of the circular craft, the one she always sees. And with it,

came this sort of soft comfort that she would pull through. She said the following for Alex. Soon, I was allowed to leave Grutasheur Hospital and go home to the rolling foothills of the Drakenberg's mountains. I had felt a touch of death, knew it was all part of the preparation. when one can respond with love and kindness, understanding, and wisdom, and with no vestige whatsoever of fear or hate, that one can hope to meet with the people who maintain the interstellar spaceships to approach within their domain. I waited for the man from space to make physical contact, but the key was first to find him with my mind and spirit in complete harmony. Happened one stormy night while I lay quietly meditating and reading my copy of Wuthering Heights, alone on a bed, under my bedsheets, with just a flashlight to light my waltrow.

way. Just kidding. That's part. It's not part of it. While her sister goes to make tea, she's sitting in bed and is suddenly teleported mentally into the sky where two spaceships are waiting for her. One of them piloted by the being known as a con. This is the way she describes him. I'll send you this. She said, I felt instantly bonded with him. He was the one who would always been there from the beginning. He's the guy who was there when she was seven. He's the guy who was there when she was, you're flying with the husband.

He'd always been, this is what he looks like. Please describe him to the audience. Oh my God. Okay. I thought it was going to be a quote. Let's see what this is. Let's see what's going on here.

Oh. Okay. Okay. So he looks like he's a general for the evil empire. He looks like a tall white. He looks like he looks like if Grand Moth, Tarkin was like 25 years old and like ordered you from a from a mail order like Jeffrey Epstein style runaway bride service like this is like the most creepy looking

eyes are huge he looks like a lead of battle angel but he's Grand Moth Tarkin age 25 and he's wearing like like chef whites he looks awesome this this is a thing that I think is interesting she the Targary glimpses of their world and it is a place. where basically it's like future earth, everyone's taller, everyone's gorgeous, everyone lives forever. It is paradise.

This is what she gets. And he's like, if you want to know more, meet me in the mountains. And she's like, what? And so they send her mental body back down to earth. And so she travels to the mountains to find him.

And when they meet, she describes it like this for Alex. A pulsating hum filled the air, caused my eardrums to pop from the sudden displacement of air caused by the huge ship. Its circular hull was at least 18 meters in diameter, with a rounded dome in the middle and three large portholes facing me through which I could see a man standing in the ship, looking at me. I looked back at him without flinching. He stood there with his arms folded across his chest, regarding me with a compelling and hypnotic attraction about his eyes that seemed to influence and control me, even at that distance. With a shock, I realized that I was

entirely forgetting my training and powers of observation, and it was with great willpower that I looked away from his eyes. I studied his face, the most wonderful face I had ever seen, and I felt a sense of affinity in love. A slight smile softened the ascetic lines of his face. It was a gentle smile, and it caused my heart to miss a beat. I knew that smile had softened his eyes, too, and I dare not look again into those eyes. My heart beat against my ribs with suffocating intensity. I felt faint. A man from another planet. Another world influencing my life. Time seemed to stand still at that moment. There was no fear. There was only a deep and exciting happiness. I reached for the Chuluminati Breeding Program fuck

playlist on Spotify. Available now for it everywhere that our social media is located. I turned it on to track one. And he said to her and Mathis you can be our alien man. Oh, excellent. There is no need

for you to say anything. I know everything. I have observed you before. Patrick Stewart's like personal screenplay from extras. It is a not of understanding that we share and you now belong to me. It was only necessary for me to wait until you had grown up in this knowledge and understanding.

Oh, he grew, he psychically groomed this girl. Yeah. God, he's Ed Warren's space too. He's everywhere. To be one of us, you must think as we do. I observed you first when you were a child with your sister in the garden of your home in the valley adjoining the hill. At other times, I have watched you growing up, flying through the same. skies of earth looking for me and I watched while the lightning high in the sky wrapped you with

its purifying flame. This is alien Wuthering Heights. We are the Bronte sisters and this is Wuthering Heights. It went from fascinatingly interesting to very hard to believe really quickly. Like shirtless alien Fabio alien nipples out picture painted on the cover of a romance novel. This is internally what she wanted so bad that it fed on that conscious idea, the desire. Heaving bodices. Heaving bodices.

Now, she fell instantly in love with him. Could you not? Have you seen the picture? She was smitten. She needed to see him again. And this was their first encounter. She recalls that it ended with him flying away. And she knew that they would have more encounters.

and more importantly, that their encounters would take her far beyond the reaches of Earth into an intergalactic love affair that would stretch time and space and open her up to an understanding of the universe that we as mere mortals will never grasp, but to steal from these two nerds, that is a topic for the next Jesse episode. Oh, shit. A cliffhanger from Jesse. When we return to the intergalactic love story. Interlactic, planetary, planetary, intergalactic.

You think that's what was playing in the background when she was getting abducted mentally? Yep. That's awesome. A phenomenal job, Jesse. I had a great time with this. I'm very excited to pick up with that story, too. I can't believe the pace of that story. I cannot believe that that story is that.

That is so fucking funny. That is the intro. that's not even her going and experiencing other worlds and like it happens and the book is huge and there's so much stuff she does and i'm just like no way is Israel but i don't care because i'm here for intergalactic love that's what just is only wanted in the galactic love i'm here for it it's the month of love baby it is more of love and the shortest month more love love Love and more. Exactly.

That's why it's the shortest month is because we think our fans can only bear it for so long. That's true. We had a lot to say in that. We were like, let's make February shorter guys. Yeah. We got them. We got them locked in.

Yep. Speaking of short. Yeah. We have to go do a short minisode over at patreon.com slash Chulomni-a-pot for everybody. You go listening and or watch depending on your tier. We appreciate you guys supporting us and listening to us. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode. We appreciate you.

Goodbye. Valentine's Day special from Math is coming. It hype. It is. It is. Anyway, me and my wife were sitting outside indulging on our porch one night, enjoying ourselves. I needed to go to the bathroom, so I stepped back inside, and after a few moments, I hear my wife go, holy shit, get out here. So I'd quickly dash back outside. She's looking up in the sky in the fall. I look up too, and there's a perfect line of dozen lights traveling across the sky.