Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 339: Bill Tompkins: Man's Understanding Part 2

Episode Date: March 1, 2026

Alex tells us all about Bill Tompkins and his life in the world of UFOs and Sexy Aliens in the second part of this two-parter.CHILLUMINATI is a weekly comedy podcast hosted by Mike Martin, Jesse Cox and Alex Faciane. Hold on to your tin-foil hats and traverse the realms of the mysterious, supernatural, spooky and sometimes truly horrible - and your third eye will never be the same!Subscribe to our Patreon to support us and for extra content like full video episodes, weekly Minisodes, exclusive art, and more at http://patreon.com/CHILLUMINATIPODMERCH: https://theyetee.com/chilluminatiThank you to our sponsors:Mint Mobile: Ready to stop paying more than you have to? New customers can make the switch today and for a limited time, get unlimited premium wireless for just $15 per month. Switch now at mintmobile.com/chill1-800 Contacts: Getting contacts doesn’t have to be a hassle. Let One Eight Hundred Contacts get you the contact lenses you need right now.  Order online at 1800contacts.com or download the free 1-800 Contacts app today.  Mike Martin - http://www.youtube.com/@themoleculemindset Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - https://www.youtube.com/@StarWarsOldCanonBookClub/Editor: DeanCutty Producer: Hilde @ https://bsky.app/profile/heksen.bsky.social Show Art: Studio Melectro @ http://www.instagram.com/studio_melectro Logo Design: Shawn JPB @ https://twitter.com/JetpackBragginSOURCES:"Selected by Extraterrestrials: My Life in the Top Secret World of UFOs" by Bill Tompkins.Links Mentioned:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lake_Isabella,_California https://explorekernville.com/whiskey-flat-days#section-cCOysjRLe https://bakersfieldnow.com/news/local/kernvilles-whiskey-flat-days-a-blast-from-the-past-festival-unearthing-golden-history https://www.vice.com/en/article/this-guy-paints-the-sex-he-allegedly-has-with-aliens/ https://youtu.be/-GJdVpUMLk8?si=h4K7_g2WW5dmvuvg https://www.theartblog.org/2019/12/david-huggins-an-uncommon-life-2/ https://www.theartblog.org/wp-content/uploaded/David-Huggins-first-time-04web.jpg https://projectcamelot.org/Alien_Digest_Vol_1.pdf https://arstechnica.com/science/2021/12/concerns-about-sexism-in-the-aerospace-industry-land-at-spacex/ https://iawa.org/news_manager.php?page=22119 https://digitalcommons.uri.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1181&context=jfs https://www.aircraftinteriorsinternational.com/industry-opinion/sexism-in-aerospace.html https://craftsmanshipmuseum.com/artisan/william-tompkins/

Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the Chulamani podcast, episode 339. As always, I'm one of your host, Mike Martin, joined by my very own alien secretaries, Jesse and Alex. Look at you. Are you saying, is that you hitting on us? Are you saying we're, like, impossibly sexy? I imagine you in clear plastic four-inch heels. Like, Laura Palmer?

So, less secretary more, sex wrapped in a sheet. Yeah, you're my sex, sir, Terry. Wow. You know what? Having heard you say it, I don't like that anymore. That is, that is really good. really good. Yeah, no. You know what? I'm going to sex for Terry. You guys

know what you say is. That's why we have him write the scripts when he does episodes because if he just goes off the cuff, it's yeah, yeah, yeah. It's rough. We're going to get sued. Hey, everybody. Welcome back. Yeah, Jesse's going to sue us. Jesse's going to sue us.

He's going to sue us for Terry. He's going to sue us for having him, for making him sit through a show like this one. No, that's right. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the Bill Tompkins. two-parter. It's apparently called Man's Understanding, which is sort of becoming ironic,

the more the story unfolds. And it's based off his allegedly nonfiction account of working in the aerospace and intergalactic defense industries, which is a book called Selected by Extraterrestrials. Volume one is the one

that we're limiting ourselves to here today, in which he describes researching and reverse engineering alien technology and preparing for some kind of war. This is like this could fit into the the universe of the greenstone. This is that same kind of person who is like building a huge fantasy but is like fully scamming themselves into believing it happened for this because their lives are so

fucking boring. And that like I can see this being connected to the people of the greenstone like the sci-fi branch. Let me ask you. Let me pose a, let me pose a thing here. Yeah. Because the concept of having a life so boring that you create a thing. That's what this is maybe.

Does that not mean? That's us. Yeah, I was about to say, does that mean your life is, in fact, not boring? Because you have the imagination to create something this fantastic. Like, have you succeeded? Do you mean? Like, have you succeeded? He succeeded in creating a fantastical life.

It's a very deep question. And it's one, honestly, that I invite you to hold in your minds as we move through today's sort of unexpected sequel slash super expected sequel. Like, you know, obviously this is going to turn a corner at some point. obviously I'm leading towards something. But if you're just joining us for some reason and you don't want to listen to all that wacky, kind of scary, repressed horniness

that this episode was stuffed with last week, first of all, bad news about this week. But yes, there were also bizarrely sexualized corporate alien spies maybe in there also. But the point is, the thing you need to know is I didn't have time to write an episode about it myself. So I asked one of our fellow Chuluminati agents,

Agent Brown. Right. Yeah. What I also think secretly, subtly hates me, uh, to write one for me, right?

So he's no again. No again. For clarity sake. If a person, like I'm just posing this hypothetically, were to write an episode themselves, claim they didn't write it, then say that someone that did write it actually hated them,

the person who did write it. Would that be some sort of clinical issue that we should look into or? Genuinely was actually going to ask like, Have you told your therapist about Agent Brown yet, Alex? Yes. I'm actually not allowed to talk about Agent Brown outside of the show because it's really, right, right, right. It's really secret stuff. So I got to keep it.

We can't go. We can't and doesn't go to therapy with me because that's classified. Right. Of course. So far, I don't know if it was a good or a bad idea to entrust an episode to him anyway. So, you know, that's not the here or nor there. However, what is a good idea is heading on over to Patreon.com. plus Chulamad where you can sign up for free to be a part of our cool fan community, support

us with a monthly subscription. And in return, you get all kinds of cool extra stuff for your listening and viewing pleasure. Like Mathis, what's one dope thing we have for them over there at patreon.com slash Tulumadipod. Another three months worth of minisodes that are not publicly out. Yeah, that's crazy. And they're all super long too. And Jesse, what's like another great thing that people can find over at patreon.com. Are you aware that we sometimes, sometimes get together and watch movies? Yes, we do with our show, rotten popcorn. That's right. And you know what I'll tell you? One thing's for sure. I know that after the show and all month, me and all the most adventurous Chaluminati fans are going to be having a blast over there listening to those three months of minisodes

and listening to all the rotten popcorns on there at patreon.com slash Tulumati Pod. That's what I'm saying. That's right. Which enables me to bring you episodes like this one, which again, reminder, reminder arrived via pneumatic tube early this morning, woke all my neighbors up. It's really loud. It's like,

Extremely convenient. Of course, this isn't the first time that's happened. And they have all banded together now and asked me to remove the mail system. But I will not, David. Okay? You're asking me to abandon my dream. Now, did it come with the property? Or did you install it? That changes everything. I installed it. And sorry about the outburst. I spent the whole day putting everything in the computer. So I've got it here in front of me while we record. So it's all easy now. A nice low stress is how I like to play it. And first up was an envelope, which was actually taped to the outside of the rest of the files,

had big red letters written on the front of it that said, read this first asshole. So overjoyed. I, of course, opened it. And Agent Brown left me a little note, which says here, to start off the second episode, I transcribed a scene from the book

and made you guys an artistic opening scene you can act out to serve as a recap for some previously on Chaluminati type stuff for this alleged audience you have. Enjoy bringing these amazing characters to life. That's what he said. Isn't that crazy? And actually, there's actually like a cute little script here that he wrote.

Like, it's like a cell text file type script. He like actually bought a membership, I think. So I'm just going to take the text though and send it to you guys. And then let's just pretend we're cutting to a scene right in the middle of some high octane conversation, right? Like I'm kind of like the narrator of the scene, I guess. and we're flying through the air.

We're in a DC-7, right? This is a 1960-style, catch me if you can vibes. First-class cabin, you know what I'm saying? Except this one is not. Sure. This is not TWA or whatever. This is United Airlines. And here, at 32,000 feet, hold on here.

It's got a big, a lot of moving parts to these files. Here at 32,000 feet, we're two hours out of LAX. We're on our way to NASA in Florida, right? And we've got our main man Bill, who's going to be played by Jesse today, and his good-looking Apollo project lead at the think tank, Cliff, who's going to be Mathis. And they're going to be clinking some little cocktail glasses together on the plane, like Tony Stark and Pepper. What's his name?

Elon Musk. No, War Machine. Terrence Howard. Terrence Howard. There we go. And I'm going to just... Tony, are you aware of my new math? Tony, Tony, I got math.

They're going to replace me. One plus one equals Don Cito. All right, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Let me... I have to do this in two parts. Edit this out. Thank you so much to Mint Mobile for sponsoring today's episode.

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Bill, now this is really living. These vodka gimlets are excellent. But I'm concerned. Do you think the program is safe with both of us gone? Say from what, Cliff, leaving Jessica alone? Jessica, the Nordic secretary who walked across his mind like the boots of Nancy Sinatra and took him in private and told him. when he was going to have to do. He still hadn't fully recovered. She could sell the whole

fucking company to Boeing, who was our competition, or even worse, the goddamn Russians. Well, yes, Cliff, you're justified. In fact, you should be concerned about the magnitude of control that my little blonde has over the entire Milky Way galaxy. Bill wasn't just joking. He really thought it was possible she was from space. She was hot enough for sure. Bill, come off it. She's not a little blonde at all. Those long legs don't quit. Even without heels, she's as tall as you. Yes, Cliff, but she's brilliant. Dives right in the middle of the problem, pushes all the details out of the way, gets right to the big picture. If you know what I'll find. Okay, Bill, but why switching all these girls? And where did Jessica in Propulsion's dream come from?

Jessica had previously psychically commanded Bill via passive sexual seduction to research anti-gravity propulsion to defeat the aliens who brought us the moon by space tugboat. You know, Cliff, when she does this, she's having so much fun. Nearly has a climax. She knows she makes me hard, just loves it. But Bill, something is going on. Uh, slow down, Cliff. Tell you what, I'll get our stewardess to give you another vodka gimlet. Gimlet?

Whatever. I don't know. I've never heard of it. It's a gimlet. But, yes, you're right. Something really is happening. He finishes the rest of his drink with a twinkle in his eye before continuing. Now, stay with me here, because this is way out.

Is it possible that Jessica and those other extraterrestrials have been stuff in our heads with advanced ideas for a long time? Wow. Holy cats, Bill. That stopped me. Well, think about it. If Dr. Klemperer, the Klemperer,

is proven right, and the aliens can somehow telepathically implant ideas into our heads from their massive motherships parked out there, they could have been doing just that for a long time.

Wow. That would certainly answer a lot of questions. He finishes the rest of his drink with a twinkle in his eye before continuing. Now, Cliff, I'm glad you're sitting and strapped in for this next one. This next one, what? I think there's a possibility.

The aliens may be able to prevent us from seeing them. Cliff's mouth dropped open like a big mouth Billy Bass. He didn't like the idea of an alien he couldn't look in the eye. Both Clemp and Dr. Hartley have indicated that it's possible. It's practically common knowledge that we are using only part of our brains, so the aliens could be playing with the rest. So you're saying Jessica is really an alien. Bill was experiencing something called cognitive dissonance. No, Cliff.

I don't think Jessica is one of them. Cliff was suddenly feeling confused. See those two empty seats across the aisle for? us? Maybe. Just maybe. There are two aliens filling those seats right now. Boy aliens or girl aliens. A devilish, cognitively dissonant smile spread across Bill's face. Let's just say Jessica tapes. Uh, sure. I'll buy that concept, Bill. If you could talk to, uh, if you could talk both of

them into popping back into our vision now and having dinner with us, that is. All right. Can I just say something really. quick. Yeah. If anything, this informs us of man's true horny nature. Guys, horned up ladies, as not one of you, I don't, I can't speak to you on this and I won't, but as gentlemen, men are so willing to believe the most insane shit if it means they'll get laid. Like, this guy is like, aliens? And they got boobies and legs. Hold on now. I'm in. I'm in. I'm believe let's go it is it is true like i don't know like you know they talk about like boys clubs and whatnot and like locker room talk i don't think i've ever like encountered this because i don't

really i haven't really had a job you know what i mean like i think about it right like none of us really have had like a job i guess you worked at a school for a little bit i had multiple jobs before that i didn't start doing this stuff till i worked at blockbuster for seven or seven or eight years just But it's not the same Cheesecake Factory. I had to either choose Chase YouTube or go into the management

training program at Cheesecake Factory. That's where I was in my life. In another reality, you are like the general manager of five cheesecake factories. You're like getting way more money.

You have a wife, three kids. None of us ever did like the office job. We never did like, you know, like the cubicles, right? I never was a cubicle boy. I dreamed of being a cubicle boy for such a long time.

I feel and I feel like That type of world is very isolating and ignored. You're deprived of any sort of like stimulation anyway. It's like that star-called room. I had talked like this was in high school in the locker rooms as like teen boys. We're just like girls. Right. That level of mental development, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. After that, it was like probably shouldn't say that. Trying to get with them. Trying to actually game it. right you don't just like talk about girls that you're going to sleep with right you you try to like get with girls you try to like meet the objective is not to talk about it the objectives to do it to do it yeah yeah yeah uh so yeah like agent brown said that was supposed to be like a recap of what we talked about yesterday in so many words and i'd say it covered all the basic points

of what was going on outside of bills sort of like life story which we also got last week is that about cover it, Mathis, like in terms of like alien stuff that we touch, like, like, more or less, again, other than, uh, space reptilians teaming up with Nazis in World War two to do something. Again, it will unize us to fight a different alien gang. There is a reason. There's a reason I did not finish his book because it is even for me too much. My thing is like if the deal, if the deal was that the not like that they were going to give

the Nazis tech in exchange for helping the Nazis enslaved the planet, like why didn't they take over the oh i think what for him what what like initially pushed me away from this guy is like obviously all his shit is insane but all this shit is insane and stolen and then just repurpose like he doesn't make a mark on history in any way like david ike who is the origin of the reptilians you can no longer talk about UFOs and aliens without talking about reptilians in some form or another this guy didn't do anything like that he took all of everything else and made his own horny fantasy. Just kind of rift.

Just kind of rift. Yeah, he made himself a super spying horny fantasy man. And it's just like it's insane. Even with the Greenstone, you could say they had more of a cultural historical impact by writing these like longer series of novels that did okay. To be honest, the dudes, to be honest, the dudes are knowledgeable. They know what they're talking about those guys, sort of. And they like, they created their own unique lore in some way.

The story part in the Greenstone is like, I can't prove or disprove it. Right. But it's not so unbelievable. Like they did go find things. They did like figure stuff out some at some point. Like we know there was a knife. We know there was a thing. Like they used Rosicrucians like real world like there's mysteries they interwoven to it that made it interesting. This guy just was like internal. It's not like internal. It's not like an imagination fantasy like Michael Scarn type story like this one. If you know what I'm saying. This guy should have leaned into the absurdity of it and just wrote wrote fiction novels about him being a. like the center of a horny alien spy ring. Yeah. There's no boobies. There's no boobies. You know what I mean? Yeah.

And speaking of boobies, wait a minute. But isn't there like a sexy witch? No, there's just a witch. I think that was just you thinking she was sexy in your mind. They channel people. Yeah.

It was like a like Gwynnevier and stuff. Yeah, yeah. Gwinevere is in there, but she's, she's not. I wouldn't say like, I feel like she would be offended.

She's not a four inch plastic heels bending over. No. Different time. Different time. Different. I'm different story. I'm sure she had huge tities, though. And speaking of tities, the whole reason I asked Agent Brown to do an episode on this topic

is because I was looking for a story with weird sexy aliens in it because it's like sexy Alien Month or whatever. And as the plot thickened, Agent Brown starts to get more and more interested in these bizarre tales of overwhelmingly sexy, highly capable space babe women, aliens, entering the workplace and pretending to be secretaries or from corporate and really just coming out of nowhere and seducing everyone and guiding and monitoring all developments secretly from behind the scenes. And basically that's where we left Agent Brown last week

other than when he took a brief detour to possibly imply that people besides Bill Tompkins may have financial interest in publishing these stories, whether they're true or not. But I don't think he's going to go into that anymore than he did. I think he was just kind of being a little punk rock there. know what that was about. But yeah, here he is now with another letter to update us on what he's been up to since last week. And this time, it is for Jesse to read. I'm a different Agent Brown than I was last week. Last week, I felt the spark of wonder and joy and hilariousness. But of course,

in looking into it deeper, as in ever my curse, spoilers, I'm left feeling unfulfilled and depressed about the depravity of man. But, and this is where you can track my growth as a character in this story, I realize now that I only have myself to blame for this situation I found myself in. And while I still personally think Alex is kind of a nerd and I probably wouldn't like to seek him out as a pal or at a party or like even if he was in my direct nuclear family, I'm not going to hold that against him on a professional level. Because yes, I have to admit, it was circling back on this guy and his weird little invisible psychic alien sex bunny conspiracy, which did bring that old magic feeling again.

And it did remind me why I got into this line of work in the first place. And we'll talk more about that stuff in a second. Believe me. but it also kind of re-jokerized me in the end too. So fair warning, listener, have fun while you can, but this is going to be one of those ones with a kind of sad message by the end. So, you know, sorry. But first, let's have Alex tell you about the mayor of Lake Isabella.

He's becoming the jocler. Yeah, he's jocling out. He's getting straight jockeleton. Also, the way that ended was kind of like that old, PBS kid show for Carmen San Diego Oh yeah Yeah

Like gum shoes But first Let him tell you about But first I love Around the world We're in Lake is a Bella All right

I think probably what he's talking about here is I don't know Maybe a day or two after the last episode aired Some male showed up in my tube From Agent Brown But rather than be raiding me for like pages and pages like he always does. He just like gave me a homework assignment sort of. So I told him, of course, I'd do it because I was also interested in the outcome since just in case you don't

remember what the mayor of Lake Isabella was from last week. It meant getting to look into the claim that Bill Tompkins made about being mayor of Lake Isabella, being made mayor of Lake Isabella. He said specifically that first he was asked by many people to do so while he was living out there and quickly becoming a licensed architect who designed over 60 buildings, if you don't remember. And then eventually, he actually did become the mayor in 1966, according to him and his website and a couple of the times. He said that. First of all, on a second closer look, I couldn't find a single reference to William Mills Tompkins or Bill Tompkins as the mayor of Lake Isabella anywhere on the internet that wasn't directly quoting either Bill's own book or his personal website.

So instead of giving up there, I called up Valerie Stone, who is actually the executive director of the Carnville Chamber of Commerce, or as she calls it, the complaint department. And she confirmed that something was fishy here for the same reason Agent Brown did last week, which is that Lake Isabella is unincorporated and therefore does not have a mayor and never had one. right so right that makes now at this point if you're from kern county you're probably wondering why i did contact the kern river valley chamber of commerce uh commerce i was just thinking that yeah which which which actually is the chamber of commerce come why am i saying commerce commerce commerce commerce at the eddie dot com slash jimmy 26 it's all commerce um by our merch uh it serves like

isabella uh the kern river valley chamber but the kernville chamber of the kernville chamber of of commerce oversees my other theory about what Bill Tompkins could have possibly meant, which is that maybe he was made ceremonial mayor at an event called Whiskey Flat Days, which has been going on in the area since 1957, and has crowned a mayor, which was also not voted on like normal, but based on community interaction, like Bill kind of implied, might have been the case in his mayorship, right? Leave it vague enough to sound official, but not correct of truth enough where it couldn't be real in some way. Exactly.

So, yeah, I called Valerie Stone. And it was a very informative, pleasant conversation. And for a second, I almost felt like an actual researcher because she literally actually did have a list of all the people who had ever collected the most bribes and became dubbed that year's mayor. And if that seems weird, let me just backtrack for a second. I will explain. Whiskey Flat Days is also called Whiskey Flat Days, because back in the day, day, day, The area was actually called whiskey flat. Like back in 1860,

thanks to this guy, Adam Hamilton, gave up his gold mining business, opened a whiskey barrel saloon near like a successful gold mine. They changed the name to Kernville like a few years later because they didn't want to be like Boos Town. You know what I mean? But they originally were whiskey flat.

So that's the history. And then basically in practice, it's basically like a cowboy themed version of Deer Fest from Alan Wake. If you guys ever played down there. Sure. Yeah. It's like a town. family, big family town event.

Cult. Yeah. Well, in this case, it's like they got rodeo. They got food. They got music. Everybody dresses like cowboys, takes on like old West nicknames and stuff. And it happens every President's Day weekend just happened. Anybody's ever gone with the cowboy nickname Little Barry shoot because I hope someone does.

If someone's out there. I mean, one guy, dude. I hope so. Yeah. Kernels. Not that far from here. Like we could go. We could go.

I would love to go to whiskey flat days. It's on President's Day weekend. So it just happened. We got a year then. Yeah, it looks super fun, though. And as far as the mayor's race is concerned, I was saying bribes earlier because that's what they call it for fun. But really, it's just like a super competitive local community fundraising drive by the Chamber of Commerce. And each year they dubbed the winner, the mayor of Whiskey Flat, and it's like a big laugh and people who need it, get money.

And it's in good fun, right? Yeah. However, according to Valerie Stone, who again is the Chamber of Commerce's current executive director. In 1966, the year that he said he was mayor, the winner was somebody whose old West's name was truthful Vic Gallagher, which is not Bill Tompkins. And, you know, in the words of Bob Wood, right, Bill messes up dates constantly and nothing that he writes makes sense.

And I already knew that going in. So I also asked Valerie to look many years in both directions, just to be sure. And she looked at all the names. And the closest that she found was in 1967 the next year. the mayor was hard rock Bill Marks. But I looked into it. And that is definitely a totally different and like nice, chill, probably not liar person who is different to Bill Tompkins, who only recently passed away like in December. So Bill Marks, if you're out there, sorry for getting you mixed up in this.

May you rest in peace. And yeah, unless I'm just fully off base and out of line, which I'm fully happy to be, by the way, if you prove me wrong. no, I don't think that Bill Tompkins was the mayor of Lake Isabel like he claimed to be more than once. And if I'm being fully honest, as far as I can tell, right? I think the reason that Agent Brown was trying to make me do this in the first place is that now we know for sure, right, that sometimes for no discernible reason, this dude can be a liar.

And if he's willing to lie about this completely unnecessary, if he's willing to lie about this sort of like totally like, nobody said in his It doesn't make his, like, like, case any stronger that he's the mayor of Lake Isabella. He just, like, would lie about that completely unnecessary thing. It's like just to self-inflate. A, we should now definitely at least be asking ourselves what else he's willing to lie about, right? Though I think we're all pretty clear on that. And B, how much other stuff in here is just fluff on top of a story for coolness's sake, right?

And we still have more letter here from. Agent Brown. So here is Mathis this time with a little bit more from Agent Brown. Welcome back to the big show listeners. Hi, Mathis. Hey, what's up? So once I got in my head in my head that there may actually be something to the Nordic secretaries, I poured back over the book to find any scenes featuring these bosom babes that didn't just read like an outtake from a sexual harassment training video that might hint at something which might lead me to discovering their true nature. I felt that Bill was trying to tell us that he was communing with some with some sort of alien presence, but it wasn't until I got toward the end of chapter 11 that I found

some clues as to their physical nature and what some of the more extreme limits of their ability set might be. How naive I was. And yet at the time, I was so inspired that I adapted it for audio performance. Mathis will be another engineer at this time called Kirk Swanson and Jesse will reprise his role from last time. And unless anyone else happens to be sitting in this week, I guess Alex can be the narrator again too. See you at the intermission

nerds. Right. Okay. And so yeah, so I have it right here. I'm looking at it now. I pulled up the file. Can I file a complaint with Chulamati HR about this agent? No, no. No, he is HR, unfortunately. He wears a lot of hats. It's really

unfortunate. Why'd we go to the HR guy for this story then? He, because he's also head researcher, so. Oh, HR, right. No, that checks out. Head research. Yeah, you get it. Oh, got it. Damn. Yeah, fair. I did not. That's what we call improv. Improv.

Making my jokes a little bit better. So this next scene is called the Girl on Complex 37 and is adapted from chapter 11, part five of the book, which has the same name minus the the. It's just called Girl on Complex 37. I guess Agent Brown added the The for artistic value. And it just starts a few days after a failed launch of NASA's Saturn C2 vehicle when Kirk and Bill were in two different times. He says they're either 120 feet up or 300 feet up in the air doing an examination of the lower

section of something called the Complex 37 service tower that has to do with this Saturn C2 vehicle launch. And they're standing just inside of a small sort of like enclosed structure that's high up and there's nothing but like metal scaffolding outside. Okay. So they're really high up. Bill and Kirk are both dressed like in like heavy like the thing

like flight jackets they're quiet because it's like shivering cold up there I thought man I was trying to work that out of my head I thought you meant the thing from the Fantastic Four I was so I didn't understand what you meant Yancey Street's own no the thing like John Carpenter is the thing yeah no I got it big snow jackets and they're keeping to themselves they got their shit

covered up they're doing their work when suddenly their ears perk up at the same time to what sounded impossibly like someone walking towards them along the metal scaffolding, hype in the air, in high heels. And when they looked up, they saw a woman they'd never met before,

dressed in a thin, flimsy miniskirt despite the literally freezing temperatures outside. And they couldn't help but stare with their mouths hanging wide open, as she said, almost like she was annoyed at them. I suggest that you do your homework. The approach that you are using needs to be conducted

in an entirely different manner. They were too stunned to do anything but stare, and she just kept yelling at them. These operations should be conducted in a white room. And possibly somehow, at this point, Bill decided to try and whisper something to Kirk just outside this woman's earshot, and this is what he said.

Who the hell does she think she is? Kirk kept it calm at first, but suddenly the rage was too much. This woman couldn't just show up out of nowhere and tell him what to do. Yeah, back off, lady. That's why we're here to correct the electrical problems. And at that, a woman just, the woman just stopped. She turned on her heels and wordlessly walked away,

strangely opting for the stairs, which are outside rather than the nice warm elevator like they expected a scantily clad woman to. And ten minutes later, they were done with their assessment and headed back down in the elevator themselves. When we get down there, I'm going to give that hot piece of tail a piece of my mind. And maybe something else, if she's lucky. Ugh, I can not like saying that. The elevator got out at the ground floor and a random crewman was there near the door. Hey, so what happened to that girl with the miniskirt and attitude?

The crewman told him nobody'd seen anybody but them go up there or come down the entire morning. A few days later, back up in the tower with Kirk, still trying to solve the problem. Bill was eager to follow up with him because he couldn't get her out of his mind. Hey, did you ever talk to that girl in the tower again? Strangely, Kirk looked at him perplexed. What girl, Bill? And yeah, I think it was probably because she shows up out of nowhere and just kind of teleports away that Agent Brown found this account of meeting her so special because

like, you know, this one, like she just, it's like almost like she's magic in this one compared to the other ones. Though, I don't know for sure what he thinks. So I'll let him tell us this time he wants me to read it anyway. So in a way, it's almost like I'll be the one telling you if you think about it. It's pretty weird. Anyway, here's Agent Brown. And here's the big man himself.

Big Al. Does anyone call you that? I hope it bothers you, but not too much because we're finally co-workers now. Congratulations, millennial scum. Anyway, to me, this one was the flagrant one where it's definitely like some kind of strange force with bizarre powers contacting them and affecting their minds and possibly the minds of others rather than it just being like something mundane, like a person who worked there or was visiting.

And it sent me off on a frustrating goose chase for similar accounts of psychic alien messengers who use sexual seduction as both a pacification technique and a control technique. And ironically, the only really compelling similar case I found was in the archives of your own show in yet another motherfucking horny boy purve episode

where you did the sexiest alien abductions for episode 169. I sent over some files and quotes and stuff so you can tell the boys about it and I'll see you when you're all done, okay? Cheers, Big Al, love Agent Brown. So yeah, just in case you don't know, David Huggins is like this,

75-year-old guy, he claims to have been an abductee since he was like eight years old. You probably remember him. He's from Hoboken, New Jersey. But unlike probably most lifelong abductees, David also studied at the Art Students League in New York City and has spent most of his time since his divorce, because now he has only a 27-year-old son who lives in Thailand to worry about. He has spent most of his time

since his divorce documenting his encounters with aliens through an enormous series of mostly erotic paintings. We've done this, right? We've talked about this guy? Yep. Thank you so much to 1-800 contacts for sponsoring today's episode. I'm going to tell you a very spooky story. It's late, you're tired, you go to put in your contacts and you realize you're on your last pair. Not running low panic, last pair of contacts panic. And somewhere in the back of your mind, you know your glasses are in a drawer, then you haven't opened since 2019. Listen, you're not alone out there. Most contact wares have and honestly it doesn't have to be that way anymore because 1 800 contacts makes the whole thing so easy. There's really no excuse to ever get caught off guard again.

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right now. Order online at 1,800 contacts.com or download the free 1,800 contacts app today. Thank you again to 1,800 contacts for sponsoring today's episode. The first thing Agent Brown has attached is a quote about David from the art blog.com in which is going to be for Jesse to read. So here's some about David. Sitting in David's studio surrounded by his painting creates a feeling of being watched. This both excited and unnerved me. David begins to tell me about the cast of characters that populate his paintings and often visit him from another world or another dimension.

He doesn't know for sure. There is Crescent. She's the alien hybrid that took David's virginity at age 17. she and David have over 50 hybrid alien children, 50 hybrid alien children together. There's hairy guy, think mini Sasquatch, with luminous yellow eyes. There are the classic grays that always accompany Crescent

on her visits to see David. And there are the insect-like beings that David says are the leaders. They're often present during Crescent's sexual encounters with him. David is their stud. They only seem to want him for that purpose. He has complete trust in his alien companions, which I find shocking, considering his memories are often manipulated by his succubus buddies. I suspect David is suffering from Stockholm syndrome. He has accepted his lifelong enslavement as a sort of gift.

He feels protected by these beings and claims they have saved his life on more than one occasion. is generally grateful for their intrusion into his life. David's paintings may be the work of a madman, or David may be the victim of childhood trauma abuse, or the most radical scenario of all, David may be painting the truth. Yeah, and, you know, Agent Brown admits in his notes that many of the details surrounding the story of David and Crescent

deviate from the alien mythology at the core of Bill Tompkins story, right? like you know but he but he felt that after watching the documentary about the guy love and saucers which i think we also watched on rotten popcorn one time is that right did we watch love and i don't think so i don't think we did i mean agent brown watched it and there's there was a scene in it that i remembered um maybe give me your therapist email for my own no i can't it's there's no reason unfortunately it's classified i uh they it's really i don't they you know they they they clamped on that stuff. Anyway, after watching that documentary, he felt that the actual accounts that David

gave of having sex with Crescent exhibited similar mind control themes. And so he wanted to get, you know, you guys in the audience's opinion on that. So we included a short quote from the film for Mathis to read, which goes with what is probably also Huggins' most famous painting, which is called the first time from his series, Love and Alien Perkins. I put the painting in the show notes just to go you can see it there just the jogger guys's memory yep I remember that photo very well yeah and here's and here's here's math is with the quote from David Huggins yeah that's a great picture dude I love that painting I should find I don't want a copy that painting it's like a wide ass angle of of her just like a woman with an alien face and long

hair just like mounting him just riding him in the in the forest but like 400 feet away it's crazy yeah no it's it's wildly like negative of space and then him like this big. Anyway, I was walking in the woods and I see a woman sitting under a tree and she gets up and she starts coming towards me. I become very aroused sexually. I couldn't get my pants down fast enough. I fell back on the ground and I'm lying there and she's looking at me and I reached my

climax, which was quite painful actually. It was very intense. And then I'm looking into her eyes and I pass out. And the next thing I know, I wake up and I don't know how. much later, maybe 15 or 20 minutes. My pants are down around my knees. I couldn't understand what they were doing down there. And so I quickly got up, pulled my pants and underwear up, and I was gone. And she, yeah, and I was gone. I left. Virginity lost. Virginity lost. And yeah, whether or not he's delusional in some way or he's telling the truth. I with this guy in particular, especially with

his stories, I think it's sexual trauma. The brain is processed. as an alien, which often happens. Because like he said, initially he woke up and didn't remember what happened. I think he recalled this via like hypnosis, if I'm remembering correctly. Yeah. And there's lots of different sort of levels of trauma too, right? Like it doesn't necessarily have to be like one to one direct that like actually it wasn't an alien having sex with them 400 feet away in the woods.

It could just be that he sort of made up this sort of, you know, other sort of sort of story to explain that this thing that sometimes happens to him. But it's, it's pretty, it's pretty wild. And to me personally, it's just as easy to see just relating this story to Bill Tompkins one that, like, it's just as easy to see where the similarities are in the ways the alien psychic sex is described in this book and that book as it is to see the many differences between them. Yeah, there's, there's other ones we talked about too, where this guy gets abducted and, he doesn't want it, but they like put cream on him or something, and he gets like horny on the ship.

And like this, this alien who just looks like an alien with long, blonde hair and like huge tits, of course, like shows up. Why would aliens need boobs? To get you going, bro. To get you rock solid, bro. But it's like, like, fuck the shit out of him. He never saw him again. He was super sick after for like days.

But like, there's no super spy plot that happens through these stories. You got that alien. Right. sexually transmitted disease. Right. Yeah. Well, yeah.

You mean, that happened to Barney as well. Barney Hill. Yeah, all kinds of wards on his dick and shit after that. Yeah. Yeah, very sick.

But yeah, I don't know exactly what Agent Brown thinks. I'm just, shoot, I'm just out of pocket on this. Yeah, of course. So here's Jesse with Agent Brown.

Jesse looks, I feel like Jesse. Jesse's own nine pushes this. The more you give me to read, the more I'm just absolutely baffled by all this. We had to, we had to, we had to tackle this topic eventually.

I don't know that. We did, man. And so, as happy as I was to see some similarities, it was too hard to ignore all the differences between the stories. Starting to feel like Mathis now. But as much as you have to bend this specific story around to get it to be in any way consistent with that of Bill Tompkins, there's a hundred other stories that are just as similar

without really being all that similar. And pretty soon, when you're on a case like this, you find your own imagination doing a lot of the work in your latest theory. Like, sure, maybe the stories themselves aren't consistent. But what if the aliens use some kind of horridness beam I've just invented? Surely then these stories can be related, right? Not exactly, and I promise in real life I did a lot more research into that than this before I came to my conclusion. but for dramatic purposes, this was enough for me to lay this part of the story to rest. If the best I could do was a horn in his beam, maybe it was better to focus on Bill's story of the moon

and the imminent alien threat and see if once I figured that out, everything else about this guy might come into focus. After all, his book and especially his interviews are cited constantly on social media and various forum threads. So surely there must be something at the core of this that everyone is grabbing onto, right? No. And so I followed the threads. As you saw last week, Bill said the reptilians brought the moon here after stealing it from another alien gang, who were eventually coming back for it, and that they wanted to jumpstart our own civilization in time for us to be strong enough to fight them.

And searching for more moments in the book to connect these concepts, the conspiracy I was already chasing, it gave me an idea for another scene. And yeah, this time we're adapting part of Chapter 12, which is called Reptillions in Manufacturing. And while Jesse once again is returning as Bill, this time Mathis is going to play all of the other fellas in the room at once during this meeting about the Army's Nike Zeus anti-missile pro. which occurred to the old manufacturing slash line, like old manufacturing line slash electronic checkout slash test area portion of the factory, when suddenly two guys

caught the entire group's attention at once, all starting with Henry Slater, the first of many people who will be played by Mathis. Those two guys. They look like Jessica's brothers, Bill. Look at their eyes. They have that zombie look. Don't look at their eyes. Yes.

but wait, I thought aliens only came in girls. What the fuck? The two men walked. The two men got closer. What line is that? Into their eyes! Oh, knock it off. That's the VP of manufacturing with them.

But others weren't as convinced. This is a tight security area. I know the entire top manufacturing people and I never saw them. Those must be subcontractors that assembly used on Nike's dues. Damn. We don't want to.

those kinds in our discussion now. Yeah, they're not human. Those guys seem evil to me, and that tall one gives me the creeps. Yep. Look, they're looking at us. Hey, this whole thing seems weird. And where is the manufacturing VP's

two department heads? He never goes outside without big gun protection. What are they doing here? One other guy called Rick spoke up and said, I have no idea, man. It would take much too long to explain, but those two are not human.

What do we do? We confront them. Here they all come, but where did those two zombies go? They disappeared. Back off. Manufacturing wants to start the meeting. Manufacturing walked up, and they had a normalish meeting. Afterwards, uh, boys met back up to chat a little bit more. Bill, what's going on?

Drinks at 6.30. The cocktail lounge near LAX and I'll fill you in. The meeting didn't go as well as we expected, but it's a start. I understand manufacturers using those thugs from Cicero to back him up, but if Jessica is on our side, then who the fuck were those alien guys that looked just like us before the meeting? Well, just as they disappeared, both them turned into reptilians. The tall one with no sound yelled back. Tall one with no sound yelled back.

Sure. His face twisted with hate. while the other one appeared to hiss. Yes, Bill. For just a moment, I think the tall one clawed at us too. Do you see the grotesque-looking feet, bro? I've been trying to get in Jessica's sister's crystals panties. I hate this.

I've been trying to get in Jessica's sister Crystal's panties for months. I know she and Jessica are helping us, but I am confused. Who were those two alien guys? Yes, we all know, Dan, that you are easily confused. But listen, this time, we all are. No, you aren't going to get Crystal's panties down, bragging to her that you have 10 inches. What? She and Jessica are smarter than all of us.

Plus, they're aliens, so they could take it. You got to have like 69 inches, bro. Aalese love that dude. Remember what Ralph Malone said. We are dealing with far more than just company politics. I am saying that we must realize the potential consequences of different aliens. Some love that big D and some with white hats, some with black hats. Yep.

And it looks like in searching that stuff up, Agent Brown once again turned to the actual show, Chulamati show archives for research. But I don't know exactly what that means. Here it is in his own words now for Jesse to read. I mean, for Mathis to read, sorry. What is it with you guys? This is all part of some weird narcissistic plan for you? I go digging for more stories of our government preparing for alien evaders and guess what I find?

The freaking alien digest from Cornerfest. Remember that? From like a month ago? Like honestly, what do you think Alex's deal is? Is he really planning all this stuff out or is it bullshit? Or is the point not to be able to tell? Why does that make me so furious? Anyway, here's Alex with some more media for you guys to engage with.

See you cats later for the big reveal. Yeah. And basically, he just hooked me up with a couple quotes from the UFO Digest, which if you remember was another guy who said, I'm finally done working after years in reverse engineering alien tech. This was the guy who like fought in a war with the aliens and like got shot. Remember this guy? And then eventually he talked about him.

Yeah, eventually he was killed. It was a Dulce base of that series. Exactly. Same exact profile as Bill Tompkins. But, you know, we'll see. No missing fingers. Well, basically, he just hooks, so the quote, the quote is labeled a different entire war, and it's for Jesse to read. So I guess we'll find out what that means in the second.

Which brings us to the secret wars. Come the fuck on. Which brings us to the secret wars. In January of 1989, certain UFO experts here in the U.S. were made aware of a huge planetoid, which is a huge spaceship. 4,300 miles in diameter coming to Earth to enslave the entire. planet. This planetoid, which is expected to use the solar system's magnetic grid field as a method of anti-gravity-type travel, would use the full moon as its timing and attraction point to Earth. Thus, one day before the full moon and two days after was considered a danger point for Earth.

This planetoid command station, after taking its respected orbit, would then send large spaceliner to a certain point in the United States when the grid energy. was high. By March 1989, large spaceliner's or mother ships were seen with a host of smaller ships in certain states in the U.S. These spaceliders, to my understanding, are not part of the planetoid, but are part of a vast network of aliens arriving here on an almost daily level. They have to go through the port New York, we've all seen men about. Yeah, exactly.

The reason for this is because Earth is being set up to take a bad fall. Aliens plan to make Earth a part of a one galactic government through the New World Order. Controlled by imperialistic totalitarian aliens with a God complex.

These aliens now coming here have set up underground underwater bases some time ago and some are being reactivated. after a time in mothballs. They all have been given a piece of the pie by the head vermin, and therefore have their own assignments such as terrorism, spying, sabotage, kidnapping, vice, vice, and murder.

Selling drugs to kids, bro. Earth is a state of attitude of patient too sick to resent the undertaker measuring him. geez cool man which again it's similar to the plot that Bill Tompkins describes but only like superficially

like a lot of the same buzzwords are there but the plot itself doesn't match like if you can't read that well and you just read Bill Tompkins book like four months ago and you pick up the Alien Digest and then you read that you might think that you have read

the same theory twice but it's only in the vaguest of terms you know and these are both things that are like super-sighted and they are both like, no, no, these guys are big in the government. This same article like later name drops Bob Lazar like two seconds later. Yeah, of course. They're all, they're all mixed up in this and it's all, it's all conflicting. Thank you so much to HeroForge for sponsoring today's episode and listen, just can tell you, go to hereoforge.com, heroforge.com, heroforge.com. If you're like me and you play tabletop

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So if this is something you're interested in, you love tabletop RPGs and you want to make. minis, you can go over to heroforge.com and do that. And if you've got your own 3D printer, you could still go over there, make your own model, and then buy the digital file for cheaper, and then just print it out at home. That's kind of what I do a lot of the time. Go check it out, heroforge.com. Thank you guys for sponsoring the episode. I don't know. Like fundamentally, the fact that like, even though the details are similar, the fact that the actual aliens themselves are totally different, if you were high up and you were talking, if you had the ability to talk about what the aliens wanted and what they were thinking,

you know, it's not possible that this guy's right and this guy's right. You know what I mean? And they don't ever try to explain that or they kind of just stay out of each other's territory, which is kind of interesting, right? Yeah, no. We want to meddling each other's fictional universes. I mean historical accuracies. Right. This next one is for Mathis to read and it is labeled frustratingly similar. Here we go. Sources and documents recently made public indicate aliens from other planets have had treaties in contacts with this world for a very long time throughout history. Recent documents suggest the aliens always break these treaties unless they get everything they want.

In the past, it was not hard for aliens to get everything they wanted because they already had most of what they needed. What they did need was food, drugs, sex, and slaves. Unfortunately, the aliens who concern us now, those seven foot tall reptiles from Draco, eat humans for food and can frequently extract glandular substances and drugs from humans that will get them high at the cost of the humans life. Were they the guys under the pizza parlor extracting? Yes, exactly correct. Like absolutely the same through line. It's also like disgraceous from Vampire the Masquerade. A great.

Most of the ancient civilizations that were contacted by these aliens had kings and high priests with a hunger for magic and power. At other times in history, secret societies made contact with aliens who had a like mine. But not here in America. No hunger for power here, baby. Zero. Democracy wins. Bohemian Grove.

We feel like we need to do another one of those bohemian groves. I feel like we should look through the files. There's no reason to do that. True. If only there was like an East Coast version of the Bohemian Grove, that was maybe a little further south and a little bit more secretive. I don't know what you mean. Yeah.

No idea. These guys formed covenants. And it is so it is not at all surprising to find out that there are maybe five different agreements between aliens and humans that have been put to the test. One in 1933, one in 1948, agreement operational in 1952, one in 1954, one in April of 1964, and one in the late 60s or early 70s. This last alien group is vicious, nefarious, and ruthless, and will stop at nothing to get a one-world government.

So this is like almost, like, if this was all that was here, this would be like almost sympathico with Bill Tompkin's story of reptilians and aliens and what the aliens are doing and making treaties with humans. But then this next bit, which is the very next sentence in the article, also for Mathis to read, is labeled frustratingly different. Let's talk about the treaty of April of 1964. Sources indicate that this was a contract with the Zeta reticuli and the network, quote unquote, a group of aliens that are for the most part mercenaries with a God complex, That is, they like to pretend to human abductees and contactees, that they are God's messengers and get abductees to worship them. There are seven races of small gray aliens involved in this network.

The new name they now use is called Unity. The treaty was to give us special atomic technology, atomic spaceships, beam technology, beam weapons, and the thought beam technology, which is what the aliens use for communication. They need electronic nerve modifying metallic implants to talk to each other. in exchange, one, the aliens got quite a few underground bases, and two, they were allowed to abduct humans on a limited and periodic basis. They were supposed to provide MJ12 with a list of all abductees and to return them safely. Three, they were helped with processing of a special atomic fuel they need for their spaceships,

and four, were given raw, were given minerals, water, raw products, and much, much other help. The issue I always have with this, no matter. what we're talking about when it comes to like secret government contracts with aliens is like especially the ones where they're like allowed to make bases or allowed to abduct people if these things are as advances they seem to be with giving us the technology they are it also forces the argument of why would they make contracts at all yeah they would just take what they want because they can and we can do nothing about it unless there's a galactic united nations you i'm so pleased right now you are my sex or terry thank you and in this

And then this, the reason I think you put it in here, Agent Brown, is because, like, it's a totally different time period than what Tompkins said, but it's like the same. And the treaty is not with the Nazis here. And the technology exchange in Tompkins world comes 20 years early in World War II. And it's not really about atomics and beams. It's more about like anti-gravity and like other things. And all you kinds of different treaties. This is the ones that we're like, we get internet technology and Wi-Fi. And like that was part of the 90s. And we got in terms for that the grays, that's another one where the grays were allowed. to abduct X amount of humans, but they also were abducting more than they were supposedly allowed and also their nonsense. Right. And if that's the case, right, and you know that, and you know that nobody's even going out of their way to, like, say that these other people are lying, right? Then you know for sure that somebody's lying. But the question is, who is lying? Right. And in this case, I am lying because, guys, Agent Brown didn't write this episode. Oh, what? Yeah. someone else did. I know this is going to sound crazy,

but actually the real person who wrote it was Agent Scott, because Agent Brown's been on vacation since Cornerfest 26. So he was able to do the first half and they didn't get to fish the second half. So we had to make up the end. And the jig's kind of up now. But I'll just talk on my own voice now because he emailed me and he said, we're going to work it out. So sorry, Agent Scott.

Thank you guys so much for help me out. And, yeah, I'm going to talk in the last part of this as myself because it actually came. What emotions are you feeling in this moment? It's hard to quantify. Informed, obviously. It's like there must be a German word for it. You know what I mean? It's one of those things where it's like a concept only Germans can truly understand.

Beer garden. Spatzel. Yeah. Something nice and delicious. into that, sure, yes. Yeah, but I'm going to talk in my own voice for this last bit because it came together when I was actually like standing outside your office the other day, Jesse. Because like originally what was going to happen at the end of this episode was we're

going to talk about more about the idea of through lines between UFO stories and like that there's always so much else wrong. And so it's not really worth taking any of the accounts as fact. And I think what everybody's trying to do is kind of like, take only the things that match up. Like there's not really any effort to like, to like, cherry picking. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

And I think that's the thing. But the reason that it came together outside of your office was because my mom called me on my way to recording Resident Evil Requiem the other day. And it's interesting because I mentioned this briefly at the beginning of last the week. Shout out to your mom. Yeah, shout us to my mom.

She listened to the show and she is a, she for many years worked at Northrop Grumman, which is a place where Bill Tompkins said he interacted with at least. And she called me on the phone and she was like, listen, I have an idea of what it actually was that was going on because it actually like reminded me of what it was like. My mom was kind of young when she graduated high school early and like was very smart and successful at. the job and she was like the only girl in the workforce there really in her like area and she got and because she was smart and because she was a girl she rose like super fast through the ranks right like she was like very noticeable like she was very like sort of like seen as successful by people around her and she basically said that engineers a lot of the time and it's not every engineer right

but there's plenty of articles in the show notes if you want to go look at them from arse technica and just a bunch of like interviews with people in different parts of the aerospace industry, talking about how it's a very boys-centric thing. And strangely, like, it doesn't seem to be like super exclusionary so much as it is that like girls don't really like think of the idea that girls are in aerospace very much that keeps girls out of aerospace for the most part. But once you're in, you know, a lot of the people in engineering, my mom like referred to them as like in-cell type people. And, you know, if you imagine what it took to become an aerospace engineer in the days before nerds were like rehabilitated, right?

Like as like a as like a topic, as like a type of person. Like if you were like a science nerd, right? You basically were like shunned. Like you basically were like left out of like all the social activities of school and of college and stuff like that. If you really were like a nerdy one or somebody with not not the greatest social skills or a super hyper focus on fucking building model boats and, you know, active imagination that's really sexually aggressive.

And maybe, you know, women don't find you very. easy to relax around, right? And suddenly these women come into the workplace that are attractive and younger than you. And they know everything that you know, even though women are supposed to be like a type of girl, like a type of person that can't even be here. You know, like people actually didn't even know that, you know, women were capable of actually holding the knowledge. in their brains that it took to do aerospace. And it's true of astronauts and it's true of all these other things. And I just think like in talking to my mom,

she just believes that what this guy is, literally is a mix of his sex fantasies, his fears as like an older man in, aerospace, like getting replaced from the old guard as like civil rights, like open up, you know? And as somebody who maybe did work. I mean, if you look, if you go look at the actual obituary, and this is going to be the show notes too, you guys should go look at the craftsman, the craftsmanship museum, uh, obituary that's like super long that they left for him. And it talks about his actual achievements. Um, and it talks about that he just the things that he really did where he worked without getting into alien stuff. And it talks about how he really was a truly amazing model maker. Like truly like you, there's a million pictures of his mom. models here. And you can see how fantastic he was at it. And it leads you to believe, you know,

even in here, you get the story of him making the model and giving him a leg up in the industry. You get the, you get a picture of what kind of guy he was. They talk about how he was slightly famous for the way he wrote like beautiful articles in the model train world also, which is another not very social, uh, hobby, you know. And so in the end, right, he wasn't pulling in in the fucking ladies and writing articles for his model train hobby zine. Yeah. I mean, look at, if you just, just look at, like, the, the, I was raking in the ladies as the head of the anime club in 10th grade. I don't know what to tell you.

Just look at. Don't believe that. In Ars Technica, right, there's a, there was an article on SpaceX, right? Which is like in the area of the world where Bill was. It's in the South Bay like this. And the, the former mission integration engineer at SpaceX, uh, uh, uh, former mission integration engineer at SpaceX. was writing about sexism at SpaceX.

And she said that the workplace culture was so bad that, quote, these conditions would be disturbing anywhere. But in this particular workplace, we are blazing a trail to settle a new planet. What will life on Elon's Mars be like? Probably much like life at SpaceX. Elon uses engineers as a resource to be mined rather than a team to be led. The health of Earth is rarely a consideration in the company's projects.

misogyny is rampant. And if you've got a bunch of people who can't necessarily see the real big picture, you know, people who don't know how the government works and who are mostly engineers and, you know, they are giving access and they're being used as a resource and they're being kept out of these big projects, they're likely going to have a complex about being shut out and not being given all the information and, you know, being really probably, you know, repressed and horny just because of the nature of the time period, this is a the nerd from the 50s, right? This is like a G-Wiz type of nerd, right? And so, you know, I said at the

beginning of this whole two-parter that this was a thing that we need to look at because we need to start talking more about the fact that sex and like not sexual violence necessarily all the time. They'll obviously, a lot of the time sexual violence too, but like just sex as a resource, sex as a commodity, sex as a lever that people can pull is so central to all this stuff, all the time and this guy doesn't even realize it like this guy's writing this book and he doesn't even realize how horny he's being on main and how fucking weird it is and we're reading that's that's what makes these so good it's so good in a comedic way it's like it's like the room and the reason the room was originally funny is the lack of self-awareness of just like not realizing holy shit brother

how do you not realize how overt you are being and everything you write about this bosomed alien in heels with legs and being and then the only only time, at least in the episode, the only time boy aliens show up, their reptiles and evil and like, you know, they don't like them, whatever. I thought aliens were only girls. It's hilarious in that. I thought aliens only come in girl. Yeah, God. Oh my God, that line. Yeah. It's wild. But yeah, I, I invite us to step away from these guys as anything besides jokes ever. He's sort of like, these ex-government UFOs, Spangali guys, guys, I think we're done with them.

Like, I don't know. Like, I'm sure there'll be another episode about a guy like this at some point, borderline. But I'm really, I'm really done with the narrative of a guy that ends up, you know, on a podcast about disclosure in 2026, who used to be in the military. I think it's such a shit.

I think it's such a shit thing. And I did this two-parter as a funeral for that type of guy. I even think, like, I'm trying to think, like, who would we even really talk about? The only one I can even think about would be like, Bob Lazar. Right. It is like the only one that maybe we will talk about at some point in the future.

But like there's not going to be a Lou Elizondo, a David Grush. God, that pissed me off. Like Lou Elizondo in the fucking documentary dude. Dude, that made me mad. That made me curious. This suck. Like there's just no, you know, there's no value there. And I think that's that's just part of it.

Well, I would. No value to us. Let's be very clear. There's value to many people in that what they're. saying, I think problematically is that they are reinforcing things that people believe on the more like, boop, right? But there is something there that's worth pointing out. Sure, sure.

And I just feel like this goes back to a thing we keep talking about is like people can exploit belief in anything. And that's something that we need to be aware of just going through all this stuff is the amount of people that are willing to exploit someone's already held beliefs. And in this case, aliens or, you know, workplace structures and things like, I mean, like, let's be real. We're in the gaming space. And in the gaming space.

Another wonderful place for women. It is a space that for decades. Alex and Jesse are very heavy in the gaming YouTube space. I'm not there anymore. I was there for a decade, but I'm not really there anymore. But yet, it's a whole different worlds. Yeah. It was a world that, uh, very similar to I would have.

imagine aerospace or any of the nerdier fields was male dominated by men who could not get a girl to save their lives. Let's be clear on this, by the way. And I always, I always hate this, the idea that like a nerdy guy can't get a girl. It's always the nerdy guy doesn't want the girl he can get. No, yeah, he gets, he wants like the cheerleader. And he gets upset that the cheerleader doesn't appreciate. or whatever the case may be.

The Incredibles or something. He wants to dominate. He wants to be the president of the relationship and like use her as a trophy, not as a one partner. That's also because that comes with not experiencing women as people. Right. Because if you're not dating like, hey, spoiler, go date people. Go learn and talk to human beings and realize there are other people before you start making

demands of relationship. But whatever the case may be, it's one of those things where yeah, we come from a space that was male dominated by roughly the exact same demo. And the minute it becomes a little different, it's threatening. And then that becomes a whole issue. And then suddenly everything is, everything that changes that you don't like is because of those external factors, which is why we still exist in a world where a video game if it doesn't have a hot lady, man, people are going to be mad.

Or if you cover up the titties like 40, like like 10%, it's like a war. It's like a genocide occurred online. Yeah, level of anger. It's also important, like, you know, as these people maybe initially pull you in, whether they be the Bill Tompkins or the Elizondo's, you know, as you're doing research, it's like okay for your opinion to change about these people. Yes. I've gone through an entire character arc, I think, on Lou Elizondo on the show where I

absolutely trusted that man so much more earlier on when we were doing Chulminati as a whole. And then as time wore on, his book came out. I did my own research and followed my own, like, government payments. paperwork document requests and stuff. You can be like, oh, yeah, he's talking about some real things, but he's doing it wholly in service of seemingly himself in a way that makes no sense. You can like, it's okay to be like, okay, yeah, these guys hooked me. I still am in for these weird mysteries, but this guy is a fucking fraud.

And I will say Elizondo is borderline problem is like, he's a problem. I mean, going back to what I was reading earlier, um, it always must escalate. Originally, it was sexy lady, is alien. There's stuff going on. And there's like an, but eventually we literally get to the point where the United States in 1989 has these warships. But guess what?

It's because they're trying to make a new world order. And it's these aliens that are imperialistic with a god complex, not like real God. And they're trying to, like, it slowly morphs into ideology. every time because that's what the people who are invested in this want to hear. They want to hear the aliens are like intergalactic communists that are coming to take their freedoms.

Like that it's what they want to hear. So that's what they get. You got to play the hits. Demons sell. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Correct.

And that's and there are. And I also believe there are people out there who have had their own experiences, but in order to get people to believe them, they make them. they make them sound more fantastic or they make up more experiences that they didn't have because they're so desperate for you to believe that this one experience they may have had happened and like that spirals too and i think you know warrants are an example of that initially i think that maybe they did see some weird shape but then they became predators and all kinds of problems but yeah it's it's the the issue is like these place these places in mystery

are riddled with these kinds of people because there's so much room for them because there's so much uncertainty and mystery, whether it be because- You can't prove what they're saying isn't true. Yeah, right. Fascinating topic. I agree. I don't think we'll be talking about anybody similar to these guys in a law. I don't really see a reason why we would.

Can we- I'm gonna say it. Where the fuck are the cryptids? We have not been cryptid. We actually have a cryptid episode not in the far future coming down. I'm literally, I'm starting to say, we've also got a true crime. Yeah, we've got true crime coming down the pipe. I've got ready. We've got cryptids coming down the pipeline. We've got some

government mystery intrigue ones. Yeah. We got some good ones. OG conspiracy guy we're going to talk about for a couple episodes who like influence the world of conspiracy at its very core. That's right. The only person doing an alien thing is me. Whoops. I got a big, I got a big, uh, I got a big, uh, like fun spy one coming up. Yeah. This is, this is just happy Valentine's month. It's February. Lots of weird, sexy alien. we did do one sexy ghost thing we're going all the way till the end of march there's still plenty of time to add a sexy ghost in there ghost if you want to chuck a ghost in there we have till the end of march you have the next episode jessie don't yeah i know you do it you do baby yeah you do

okay i got the next one okay got you yeah yeah we're in there we'll see you guys there yeah thank you so much for joining if there's one thing you took if there's one thing you took away from this right like just just just just think just just just wonder just wonder about who's saying the story all the time. Just wonder, always. Think about how much a little bit of like sexual repression can like change somebody. Yeah, change everything about the entire planet. It's crazy.

Unfortunately, true. Yeah. We're off to go do a minnesota over at patreon.com slash Chulamini Pod. Thank you guys so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, we'll be back next week with a brand new episode. We appreciate you. We love you. Bye-bye. Bye. Me and my wife were sitting outside indulging on our porch

one night enjoying ourselves. I need to go to the bathroom, so I stepped back inside, and after a few moments, I hear my wife go, holy shit, get out here. So I quickly dashed back outside. She's looking up the sky in the far. I look up too, and there's a perfect line of dozen lights traveling across the sky.