Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 344: Cryptids of New England ft. Crendor

Episode Date: April 5, 2026

Mathas tries to take Alex and Jesse on a tour of his cryptid-infested New England home, but not before he's invaded by Chicago's favorite cryptid, Crendor!CHILLUMINATI is a weekly comedy podcast hosted by Mike Martin, Jesse Cox and Alex Faciane. Hold on to your tin-foil hats and traverse the realms of the mysterious, supernatural, spooky and sometimes truly horrible - and your third eye will never be the same!Subscribe to our Patreon to support us and for extra content like full video episodes, weekly Minisodes, exclusive art, and more at http://patreon.com/CHILLUMINATIPODMERCH: https://theyetee.com/chilluminatiMike Martin - http://www.youtube.com/@themoleculemindset Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - https://www.youtube.com/@StarWarsOldCanonBookClub/Editor: DeanCutty Producer: Hilde @ https://bsky.app/profile/heksen.bsky.social Show Art: Studio Melectro @ http://www.instagram.com/studio_melectro Logo Design: Shawn JPB @ https://twitter.com/JetpackBraggin

Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the Chulamani podcast. Episode 344. As always, I'm one of your host, Mike Martin, joined by my very own, oh, dang, what am I going to go with with you? I have wow on the brain, so I was just going to say wow characters, but it's just Jesse and Alex. How's it going, boys? Oh, first off, we'd be orcs. You'd be thrall and... Thrawl.

Yeah. Okay, hold on, hold on. If we're doing all horde characters, yeah. I am clearly thrall. Alex Yeah Is Oh man

You're one of the Torin I don't know which Crendor what's the Torren what's the Torin guy Be like Bain Blood Hoof Yeah Bain Blood Hoof yeah that's it that's it Crenor is is obviously Vulgin 100%

And Mathis Good luck You're more like that one Undead guy that betrayed everyone at the Rathgate wait what I stand by that you betrayed everyone you're like

yeah the living will suffer oh oh why did I betray why would I betray everybody you're Renfield dude because you want revenge on us for living you're the group Renfield for sure and when the aliens are here Mathis would probably be

Zoltz oh yeah Mathis would be and then I would be the guy getting revenge on every oh I stand corrected Mathis you're very clearly a troll I'm gonna say you're Vulture Crenor

you're that big fat goblin which one the fat goblin the main guy that fucking fat ass goblin dude that fucking one everyone's worried about that fucking nearly like the big gaunt jaws or like the neck

this guy's jowls make sound galley wicks no not yeah galleywicks yeah that's who boy this is a hyper focused conversation for three listeners and I love you for that listen I'm just saying I would be the Rathgate, rat gate on bed if like my hips really started giving out. My body's breaking down. I'm like, the living will suffer like I do. Yeah, that's you. My hips. My hips. My kingdom for my

hips. And welcome back to the show Crendor, by the way. Thank you. Thank you. Great to be here. Just you were just on geekenders taking Jesse's spot. Yep. A lot of fun on that one. Some even said geekenders was even better with Jesse not there. Honestly, not all. That's a trend. It's probably my own viewers. I get messages on this show and on scary Game Squad, but they're like, it'd be better without Jesse. I understand. Everybody, yeah, no. Everybody, there's no accounting for anyone's taste.

It's amazing that, no matter what it is, there's somebody out there who's ready to like die, like that dude who was in the jungle and he never knew the war was over. That's for everything. That's for like P.B. Crisp, like snacks. Like, that guy's out there. Like, he'd rather like, He'd rather like attack someone online about some snack that he lost 25 years ago than like let go one inch of what makes him happy. And you know, you got to admire him a little bit. I appreciate it.

Yeah. I've always said that. Yeah. I've never been able to buy. I've never bought a PB crisp. If you want to help me buy one, you can go to Patreon.com. So I'm trying to help you. Shameless.

It's almost impossible to imagine that we would buy math. this and P.B. Crisp. And if we did buy them for him, he would probably die because they would be so poisonous. But maybe they'll bring them back. I heard some rumblings. I heard some rumors. I can get one on eBay. The first place that I'll let anybody know

if I hear anything is at patreon.com slash Chilminati pod, which is the only place for P.B. Crisp updates from the Chulminati crew. And if you like, you know, like bonus content relating to our show also, another great thing that's there is the minisode. Every single week after episode, we do another, like, I don't know, sometimes like 45 minutes, sometimes 15 minutes.

We go over what's in the news. What's making Mathis go crazy? What's making Jesse, like, doubt the very fabric of reality. Like, there's all kinds of stuff going on. I usually just read a silly story. Everybody's got their own little niche. But it's there. It's awesome.

And we just have another rotten popcorn on the books. Maybe by the time you're listening to this, if you're a late listener, it's our. out but I don't want to say exactly what it is yet because I don't think we've decided but I have some ideas of my own I have some ideas of my own what we should do you think you could make a quilt out of the fabric of reality oh shit and then wrap yourself in it yeah I do that's called doing psychedelics I think the quilt out of the fabric of reality is like there's probably like some physicist out there that's like that is literally like this process like there's probably like something that literally is what is what is called what you

call making a quilt out of reality. I don't know what it is, but they're out there. I'm about to wrap you boys in a quilt today for today's episode. That seemed like a threat. Could be, depending on how you perceive it. It's a quilt of cryptids. A quilt of cryptids. A quilt of cryptids.

Yeah, we're going to go over some cryptids. Yeah, a quilt of cryptids. Say that three times fast. I can't. A quilt of cryptids. A quilt of cryptids. A quilt of cryptids. A quilt of cryptids.

A quilt of cryptids. A quilt of cryptids. A quilt of cryptids. A quilt of cryptos. He's twisted. His tongue's twisted. I've been doing it. I twist.

It's been officially twisted. It's too south. We're doing another cryptid grab bag episode is the whole point of that introduction, boys. We've done this many, many times. Crandar, I don't think you've been on an episode where we've done cryptids before? I don't believe so. No. Live shows you've done the cryptids.

You were encrypted in a live show. That's true. Honestly, for the next live show, I feel like you need the branch out. Because, like, your thing has just been like, how many. cryptids could I put my wiener into? And I feel like you need to like, at least do like Chicago based cryptids or something. Would you be surprised if there's not a whole lot when it comes to Chicago based cryptids? You know, not really because they, they probably either left or they got too drunk on Mallor.

Or just, can I just say, can I just say welcome to the podcast when we like that you're like, Mathis, what's up with the deal where like, when you go on stage you're like obsessed with fucking cryptids. Like it's all about aliens last time and it was also educational. I also educated you on what those aliens were. It is always

extremely educational. I do the Game of Thrones thing where I mix sex appeal and is that what? Is that what happened? If all information has value, it was very educational. I will say I am currently reading Game of Thrones. I'm on book three and I just got to the part where the

the fat slave owner guys like, you can either lick the honey off of my nipples or I'll lick him off of yours. And I was like, oh. I don't remember that from the show. I think, I don't know if they put that in the show, but I think in the, in the show, they don't show the part where the honey guy

comes back to life and is like the honey guy and he's going around in the background. Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah. They don't do that bit. They call him honey hands. Yeah. Yeah. That's a game of throne scripted. So you say, I should not be writing. I should stop writing the song that I'm going to play on guitar at the live show about how I want to fuck whatever it is. I'm going to.

No, I think that would be a definite step. Yeah. That'd be great. But also, let's not forget that there is a brand new Game of Thrones cryptic called Sticky Hands. And I am here for him. Alex. He knows things. All right.

We're talking about cryptos today. How are we going to, usually when we do a cryptid grab bag episode, we like to race. we like to rate how what we would do with them whether be hanging out with them grabbing a drink with them uh well what's the theme what's today's new england themed cryptids oh new england new england you say new england that must be because it's stop the start of our bbbb b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b buntz isn't that isn't that right that's that right featuring the boston baked bean boy which is a which is just like just like Los Angeles month from last year except it's about Boston

and the codes begin now. Just kidding. I was not informed. I was not informed. April code was built into the script I wrote unfortunately. All right. So hold on. So this one is in the past we've done get a drink with or good. I think

for this because we're New England. Yeah. It should be who would you like to go get a lobster roll with? Mm. A lobster roll? Like, like you're saying like who would you like to go to union oyster house with how would you like to what would you like to performatively visit unit oyster house one of the oldest restaurants in the country who would yeah you'd have to take them there you have to prepare them and be like look

it's not be the best food you ever have but it's not even close but it's yeah but it's memorable yes you're going to go yes yes that's the one that's the place or we went to for that one packs east and then oh it was mathis and then they they wanted to order the base or the yes yes yes yes yes. Yep, the bass base. The waitress is like, oh, you mean the bass or the bass? I don't remember what you know. The waitress kept calling it base, dude.

Yeah, that's the one. And you were like, she's the waitress at a seafood restaurant. What do you mean? Keep calling it base. That was insane. We actually talked about the Union Oyster House last week in the, in the Chuck Bears episode because he took one of his like spy contacts there too.

Isn't that crazy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like a weird. It's probably why it's on percolating on the mind right now. I think, yes. I feel like. Take him to the Union. Oysterhouse. That's it. That has to be out of five. How many how many oyster crackers out of five?

No, would you take him to the union oyster house? Yes or no? Would you? Because this is just a yes or no. You have to bring them there. Okay. And then imagine the scenario in which they're eating there with you while you enjoy the food. And the like the lady who comes around with the like the cornbread. It's like, y'all want some corn bread? Yeah, she'd have to do that to the cryptic. Yes. Can they fit? Can they fit through the slightly smaller? Yes.

Yeah. From the colonial sized humans that made them building. They were of a smaller nature back in the day. All right. The first one we're going to cover today is actually one we covered on one of our very first live shows we did way back when we were doing a live show in New England, the once ballroom. It was our first, I think, our first venue ever. Yeah.

And Somerville. Yes. That once ballroom closed down. Now, RIP, that was a great little spot to do our first live show. Horrendous memories I've ever had about like most legendary live show memories. That is the single greatest memory I have of any live show. Yeah. The flipping piss scenario.

I'm not going to tell a story again, but if you know, you know, yeah. Crandor doesn't know the story. I just think I might know the story. I think I may have heard it through the. I've told it many. I've told it many times. Well, in that show, we talked about some New England themed stuff. And one of them was the Dover demon.

And so for a grander audience on a proper episode, we're going to talk about the Dover Demon right at the top of this one. So the Dover Demon actually was only spotted briefly within a 26 hour period, but has become such a huge lore crypted in the area that it's like common knowledge. Is he on a layover? What do you mean? I know, right? Well, maybe he did because he kind of looks like a gray alien. The Dover demon was spotted on April 21st and 22nd in 1977 in Dover, Massachusetts, which is just like a quiet little suburb, about 15 miles south of Boston. multiple witnesses described essentially the same thing, a roughly four foot tall creature with a disproportionately large head shaped like a watermelon set on its side. Two enormous, hold on, hold on.

Not wide like, hey Arnold, tall. Like Gerald. Like Gerald. All right. Like Gerald. Not wide like Arnold. I thought like Snoopy. I thought you meant like.

No, no, no, no. Sat up like this. Oh my God. It also had two enormous glowing eyes that sat on each side of its face. There was no mouth, no nose, no ears, just a smooth, featureless creature of, like, gray skin. The body was described as starved looking with rail thin limbs, far too long for the torso it was attached to, which all ended an elongated, tendril-like fingers. The skin, the skin was hairless and peach-colored with some gray dull spots with a rough texture that mulberry. Multiple witnesses compared to sandpaper shark skin.

I don't know how they knew that. I guess they got close enough to see. New England. I mean, this is a salty place, right? This is Dover, Delaware. Is that what this is? Dover, Massachusetts. Oh, Dover, Massachusetts.

Well, same thing, right? Like, we're talking about right next to the water, right? Yeah. Next to the water. Yeah. So, like, they, you know, I don't know. They might know about, they might know about the ocean. As they maybe did.

The creature when they was spotted, didn't do anything threatening. It was just sitting there on a rock wall and by one account crouching by a tree and another. We have the two stories here. The first sighting was by Bill Bartlett at 10.30 p.m. He was 17-year-old Bill was driving down Farm Street with two friends around Spring Break. They're cruising around looking for something to do. And his headlights sweep across a broken stone wall and illuminate something perched on the rocks. At first he thinks it's like a cat or a dog.

But then the creature turns toward the car and Bartlett gets a much clearer look. He saw the massive head, the glowing eyes, the thin fingers gripping the stone. And he watches it for maybe seven or eight seconds just as the car is driving past. And that's it. That is a sighting. That's crazy. Okay. Lauren Coleman, who would go on to investigate that case later, said that Bartlett's artistic

skills is key to why the case is compelling to him because he was actually able to draw out what it looks like. And again, if you look up Dover-Demon, you're going to find something that kind of looks like a gray alien or identical to a gray alien. Isn't it basically look? Bartlett. Bill Bartlett. Bill Bartlett.

But you can just like look up Doverdemean as well. One of the most Northeastern names I've ever heard. William, William Bartlett is this full name? Dude, this guy looks like. Bill Bartley. This dude looks fucking crazy. But one of the one of the sketches just shows that it's a moose.

one of them just says one of them just put antlers on it and says moose and I'm just looking at it right now and I just see like it's like long weird fingers gripping the rocks it looks like tree roots yep but like if you did like if you did put like antlers on it

I don't think it would look like a real moose but it would look a lot like Boehinkle the Moose honestly you kind of looks like if Gollum from Lord of the Rings got like abducted by aliens for year or something. If he had like a pump on his head.

Yeah. Like he elongated his skull. I mean, he cured his need for the ring. Yeah. And now he just has a need for clam chowder. He needs that mid-tier clam chowder at the union, you know,

oyster house. If he has no mouth, how can he scream? Siting number two is by another individual with a very New England name, John Baxter. That was about two hours later. He's 15 years old of time. And he's walking home with his,

uh, from his, uh, from his girlfriend's house down Miller Hill Road. And he sees what he initially thinks is a short person just approaching him on the street. As they closed distance, he realizes that it's no person. The figure stops and then he stops and they're just looking at each other for a moment. Then the thing bolts into a gully and takes a position next to a tree.

Like he crouched the creature ran and hid. And basically what the boy described is he saw his long fingers wrapped around the tree trunk and like hiding behind it and he'd be peeking out looking at the boy. He got, the boy said he got within about 15 feet of it close enough to also describe the oversized head, the strange proportion of its limbs and fingers, the weird big eyes. And he goes home and also draws what he saw. And his drawing made with zero, made with zero contact with Bartlett actually matches Bartlett. This is the one with the tree.

Yeah, John, uh, citing to is John Baxter. The one that says like the one that says like feet mold to rocks and silhouette is spelled wrong and stuff. Yeah, I think that's the correct one. I didn't put the, that's actually, that's actually crazy if that's true. Right. Like these are, these are like on model for like a branded creature, like level similar. Like this is why it made like stuck in New England like lore, even though there was only two days of sightings. So we've got one more sighting.

And it just, it was just it stuck. And I mean, what else is going around in the 70s? And there's not much else to do. There's really nothing to do in the same. When you're outside, you're either looking for cryptids or avoiding Siri. There's no games. There's no video games. In the 70s, there were.

In the 70s, there were. Yeah, that Atari, come on. Doesn't really count. Not free to play. Those are fake games. Those are fake to play games. No free to play games. You didn't have Temple.

They don't have Temple run. No optional cosmetics. No gaming. Siding 3 is by a girl named Abby Brabham is around midnight on April 22nd, which is the next night. And she's also Brabham. Brabham. 15 year.

That's actually that really just said. Brab them. 15-year-old Abby is being driven home by her boyfriend along Springdale Avenue. She spots a hairless creature crouched on all fours near a bridge. Her description, that's it for her sighting, by the way. She briefly saw a creature near the bridge as she drove by. That's it. Her description is very similar.

Small creature, bald, large head, weird limbs. Is it meant to be bipedal or like a kind of like a giraffe? Bipedal. Okay. From my under, like my understanding is supposed to. bi-pedal. So did she like, she only got a glimpse, but she got a glimpse of it. Yeah, ball, but she like knew so many details. I know. Yeah. Well, she's like it's bald, like, lanky kind of, you know. Have you seen like roadkill as you zip down a highway? You can like,

I don't know what else you see on the highway that you can describe if it's pretty like, like a creature. Yeah, but like a creature roadkill, that's like standing still not move or like laying there not moved. But like this thing would be moving, man. The problems of Dover Mass are known for their perceptive abilities. I don't know. That's all weird. Well, the sightings, all three of the sightings in the kind of way it made its way into the pop culture at the time attracted somebody, a cryptozoologist, not by the name

of Lauren Coleman. And he was like the first serious investigator that went on scene and started going around interviewing these people. And he's the one that coined the name Dover Demon. He pulled together a team of experienced researchers, including Walter Webb, who was the assistant director of the Hayden Planetarium at Boston Scymon. Science Museum. And these,

uh, they went on, uh, people just like interviewing people. They had a history of interviewing UFO, people with UFOs, basically people who saw UFOs. They had interviewed people like this before.

This is not their first time going out and interviewing people who've seen weird things basically. And while Coleman didn't think he was dealing with the UFO, uh, by the end of it necessarily. He did want people. He want, he wanted people who knew how to question these witnesses who had experience. with weird things and UFO people were the only people who could get a hold of.

There was not anybody who was like a cryptid investigator at the time. It's basically UFOologists and that's fucking it. And they interviewed everybody separately and didn't come to any definitive conclusion as to what it was. But it's because of these guys that the Dover Demon name, the brand even came into being in the first place. And that's it. That's the Dover Demon. Would you hang knowing what we know, what little we know about the Dover Demon with some actual like you know,

sketches that might or may not be a baby moose according to some. Would you take it? A baby, yeah, baby moose. That's what some people say the sketches are as well, like a baby moose or something.

That's the thing. Well, that's the thing. It's like, you know how like a sloth or like a giraffe or like something like that? Like they can like go up on the tree. Yeah.

A little bit and like get. So like if a moose did that that didn't have antlers. What about a skept? Another skeptics take on it is it's a snowy owl with its wing spread. Why is it was an owl? How does the owl become every shape? I agree.

I don't know. I don't even see that one. Like the owl, the entire owl's body is the head? Yeah. And then what's the body? I don't know. What's the four-legged body with the tree root legs?

I don't know. I'm just telling you what another take is, okay? All right. First thing's first. Not sure if you could fit through the door. That's my first. That's the first thing. Second thing, I think I would want to give it some beer.

I know that Union Oyster House has a great bar down the first floor. And I think that, you know, in there, it would be like it could fit. There's a lot of room. It could be a conversation piece. Seems pretty peaceful. But I don't know what happened in large crowds. So I guess, I guess if it's either yes or no. It seems really, it seems really shy.

Yeah. I think if you get a couple of beers in him, he'd open up pretty well. That's what I was thinking. Here's the issue. Here's the issue. He has no mouth. And he must drink. How do you get anything in him?

Yeah, that's a great question. no visible mouth. That's right. He might just dip his like watermelon in the beer glass and it's kind of. That's why the shape it is. If it's yes or no, I'm going to go with no just because I'd rather not deal with the fallout of doing something so insane as that. And that's probably going to apply to every cryptid here unless one of them looks like a

human. But in cartoon world, I want you to know that I was, I was, if there's a range of zero to 10 between no and yes, I was about five on that range. We could slap a range in there if we need to. I'm not trying to slap a range on there, but I hesitated before I say it. We have to be definitive. This is what what Chulamonati is always known for. Our definitive takes on all things.

Oh, yeah. It's factual. Here's what I'll say. Knowing that this guy showed up and then left, honestly, perfect Jesse guest. I would love to go out with this guy, spend one night. hanging out and then never talk to him again, I'd be fine with that. Has it outstated as welcome. Is that what you wish that this podcast was?

It was in not 344 episodes. No, this podcast is great. We have a good two or three hours a week and I go about my life. That's solid. That is, that's why I like this guy. That's what hanging out with the Dover demon is like. Yeah. It's like being on the Chulamani podcast.

That guy isn't trying to like call you up, see what's going on, bug you. I got stuff I got to be doing, man. I got a Chulmini podcast to film. I can't just be going out drinking all the time. Honestly, it's the same. On Cox and Crendor, we meet up for one to two hours every week. And then we're like, see you next week. It's great.

Later. We're not trying to go out to drink with some baby mooses. None of us are. I don't think I'm going out. I'd take him out to the drink either. I agree. I feel like this, I feel like this criteria is we're going to be like, actually, we shouldn't probably bring anything besides a bonafide person.

I'm going to take him to the Union Oyster House. we're going to have a great exactly great two to three hour like chill sesh we'll get some food at the bar i'm not taking him upstairs that guy i don't even know if you can make it upstairs we'll hang at the bar on the first floor we'll do our thing we'll talk with the locals they'll be like you're from out of town aren't you and they'll be like and then well i'll like be like all right cool see you later man and i'll leave and i'll never see him again that sounds like a winner can you you boys hear me okay by the way you're all getting really laggy for me but if i'm okay you sound great and we love you for that

You're crushing it, man. This is the best you've ever sounded. Well, you guys sound like glitching robots to me, but I can understand what you're saying. That's just my demon of nature coming through. We're going to be next talking about the Gloucester Sea Serpent, basically like the Loch Ness monster of this area. Witnesses described a massive serpentine creature estimated between 60 and 100 feet long. Different people have different counts of hum.

Humps on its, along its back. Some say there's 13. Some say they've seen 20. Some seem they say, no, it puts up as 30. Like, 20 humps? Like, like little. Yeah, like little humps on. Yeah, like that.

Like little humps on its back. I don't know what. Cartoonish, like sea monster on a map. I guess. Humps. They, what they often describe is it rising out of the water like a, quote, string of barrels of or buoy strung together.

End quote. They're like a size of a cake. What it really is in like one. But it wasn't. They didn't see that. It moved as if it were a string of barrels accidentally let loose upon the ocean. We can only see its humps. The body was dark with smooth or scaly skin depending on who's talking and about what they've seen. The head is often held several feet above the waterline.

Some compare it to a horse's head. Others said it looked more like a sea turtle broad and bluntly. looking and one witness described the eyes as being as large as quote pewter plates. I just want to ask a question. General, both to the three of you, but just to the audience. I hope it's what are pewter plates. When describing a sea turtle, would you use the words broad and blunt? I guess if I was going to beat somebody to death with it. it's a very weird way to describe a sea turtle as all I'm saying.

Don't look at me. If I was going to swing it around by its back fins, I guess I would say it's broad and Blonde. Yes, it was a weapon in a game. It would be a blunt weapon. Broad and blunt. You're right.

Yeah. Try to hear it from the New England accent. It was like, it was like broad and blunt or something. Like, I get it. Yeah, I see it.

I'm not even going to venture into that territory. I, you know, I, I don't think. I can do it, but what? I can, I can, I can, I can, yeah. Yeah, just get rid of the Oz and you're done.

Bride. Broad and broad and blood. Yeah, the R's. Get rid of the R's. Get rid of the R's. And then you have no more. I can't do it. And I will. Broad. I don't know.

That's like a New York accent. All right. So people say undulated vertically like up and down through the water. Some described it as a caterpillar like when it moved through. Others said it slid around like a water. under the water. This is in the Atlantic Ocean. Yes, but here's in Cape Ann specifically. But sightings go back as far as 1638. Is that before or after the invention of the barrel? Oh, good question. Reverend John Jocelyn reported that colonists near Cape Ann told him about a sea serpent coiled up on a rock like a cable. When English sailors wanted to shoot it, the indigenous

people with them argued against it saying if the serpent wasn't killed outright, they'd all be in danger. It's like Avatar. It's just like Avatar. Exactly. Like Princess Mononoke. Like Jaws 4. Oh. Damn.

I don't have that deep. What's the one where the shark gets revenge? Is that three? It's three or four. Jaws the revenge. It's like, I'll get revenge in this one specific family. Jaws PS2. Jaws PS2.

That works. That's equally as good. No, yeah. Jaws the Revenge, that's Jaws 3. There you go. Oh, four is C-World, I think. This is Jaws 3, but Jaws 3D exists, and it's a side. It's Jaws Guy Dan, basically, if you want to think about that way. And then Jaws the Revenge is the true Jaws 3.

You're welcome, guys. Yeah, thank you. Well, that's Oterica for you. Thank you. The main amount of sightings came from August of 1817, starting with August 6 where two women saw something enormous swim into Gloucester

Harbor in the local reaction. I was there that day. I figured you were. You know, what they saw. They'll never forget. Yeah, serpent in the water.

Yeah, no, I get it. My bad. My bad ladies. My, my, my bad.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh, I remember that. Oh, I was there that day. It was a mistake. Was that August 3, 18, 17. Oh, yeah.

Oh, I remember. That was me. That was me. Let me just check my planner. Oh, yeah, yeah, I was swimming. Then on August 10th, a mariner named Amo's story spotted the creature from another tale. He spotted the creature from shore and watched it for over an hour.

He described its head as resembling the sea turtles. That's where the broad and blunt quote comes from, a man from 1817 by them, mind you. Does that make more sense? Does that, like, for, I'm trying to do my old New Englanders. I'm trying to defend them. These are my people. Yeah, it's like, I'm staying off the water. I'm going to make cookies from now on.

My God, they'll be famous. His head was broad and blunt. Like a sea journal. Like my chocolate chip cookies. Oh, God. Which I will be known for. And then a few days after that, shipmaster Solomon Allen observed it repeatedly from a boat over multiple days.

Shipmaster. Got it. Shipmaster, yeah. He said shit master too. And I was like, I imagine most shipmasters were also shit masters as well on the boats. I get that. Then on August 14th,

ship carpenter Matthew Gaffney got close enough to fire his musket at it. He was certain his shot connected, but the creature simply submerged and popped back up elsewhere unbothered. Shooting it shit. What is that? What the leaves is really drunk? How many? Yeah, he's probably extremely drunk,

being a carpenter on a boat, but also how many times has encrypted been seen by an American and the first thing to do is pull their guns on this thing? Like, we talk about You're going to get a chance to use your gun, man. You've got to be shooting crypti. I've been waiting for this.

The family on Skinwalker Ranch use multiple guns on the same animal. They're like, go get my bigger gun. Go get my even bigger gun. And they just kept shooting at it. The Simpsons episode or Mr. Burns is all like morphed out. And he's like, I bring you love. And they're like, it brings love.

Kill it. I hate love. Kill that thing. Within weeks, though, the harbor was swarming with curious visitors who would heard about the creatures, the people on the boat, and people on land had been seeing. And back that it was called a broad sheet, like a newspaper, a broad sheet published in Boston. How was everything called broads in New England? What's going on?

I don't know. Published on August 22nd announced that the creature had been seen by hundreds of people over the previous 10 to 12 days. Ferries then overflowed with tourists wanting to go out there and say, see the thing. Should I bring my gun? Ask if I should bring my gun. Bring your musket.

Bring your musket. David Humphreys, a former aide de camp to George Washington, claimed the serpent, this is how old we are, claim the serpent was watched by 200 people simultaneously during the single afternoon. Captain Richard Rich, Rich, or Richie, Richie Rich. These are all like fake names, man.

Captain Richie Richie Rich, the first, the great, great grandfather of the boy that lives atop of Mount Rushmore. or whatever the fuck. Yeah, whatever that movie was. He was an experienced whaler, claims he actually pulled alongside the thing in a boat and tried to harpoon it and failed. So this is the sightings of this thing.

It's just a bunch of people being like, I tried to murder it in cold blood. Didn't succeed. You were warned by the natives not to do that. We did not listen. Some kind of monster. It latched onto my face for three hours while I was unconscious.

I'm feeling hungry. though. I'm going to go have a banquet. Now, the Linnean Society of New England, which is like a gentleman's club with scientific aspirations is the best way I could probably put this thing. They were like,

they saw this as an opportunity to build credibility for them. So they dispatched a committee to Gloucester on August 18th of 1817 to interview witnesses and gather evidence and they collected sworn affidavit, and published a pamphlet declaring the creature an entirely new species,

Solyophis? Isn't that Big Bird's best friend? There you go. I don't know how you would say that. Solly office, right? Saliophis. Why isn't it coming in the chat? Oh, there it is.

Scoliophis? Scoliophis. Scoliophis? Scoliophis, Atlantis. I don't know. Okay. It looks like scoliophis. I need everyone when you get the time to look.

this guy up. All the art renderings from like the 1700s are incredible. Scoliophis Atlantis? Yeah, look it up. They're incredible. Which means, quote, unquote, the Atlantic hump snake. Dude, these guys all suck, dude. Incredible art.

Actually, I recognize some of these ones as that one fish. That one fish. Yeah, the Scoliofus atlantis. No, what's the oar fish or what? whatever the what's the one that like if it comes up to see we're in the apocelish yeah the orfish yeah yeah yeah it kind of some of the some of the ones look kind of like an orfish i'm gonna i'm gonna throw that out there some of these drawings but a lot of them are literally just like a fucking squiggly dragon or a dragon that looks like almost like it's like a submarine with team

rocket inside it kind of looks like the shit you would see on medieval walls yes like yes yes yeah exactly um now this little uh the lenarian society uh the reason i say they had a say like scientific aspirations quote unquote is because as soon as they published this their case took a hit nearly instantly a local resident found a three foot long snake with an oddly undulating spine on a nearby beach and what did the society do in response it's basically jumped the shark and they declared the snake the offspring of the great serpent. Kill it. At the time, French naturalists kind of took this in the argument and ripped it apart.

The small specimen turned out to be a common black snake with a deformed spine. European scientists started calling the whole affair the quote, Great American Sea Serpent and barely concealed condensation. Basically, that was them insulting it. And they went on to be kind of debunked from that point on and nobody took it seriously. But it didn't explain the debunking didn't explain the boat sightings of this thing in the sea that they were shooting muskets at and how long it had been, how big this thing had been. But it was enough for people to stop paying attention to it. So that is the Gloucester Sea Serpent, gentlemen.

What do you think? I'm going to say something controversial. Yep. I don't think we should take the Sea serpent to the oyster house. That's what I was going to say. It'd be like you're eating his friends and fans. Yeah, I don't want to do that. I feel like bringing him in the door.

We're talking about at least 20 feet long. We're talking about a line, like something that acts like a, like a bunch of barrels tied together on a line. Like, well, okay. So let me, let me twist the question on you. Would you add a visit to the Union Oyster House eat their catch of the day, the Scoliofus atlantis? No.

If I saw, if I looked at the special. You know what I mean. If I looked at the special board at the Union Oyster House and I saw Scoliophis Atlanticas. Almondine. I would be like, no. I don't know what that is.

I'm good. I'm going to go with, let me think about this. How about the oysters or perhaps some clam chowder? Yeah, get some base while you're there.

Get some of a delicious base. You think she still works there? That's what Sebastian, the crab uses. Okay. We'll move on to the next one. The Galawakis from,

the Galawakis from Glastonbury, Connecticut. The Galawakis? I already like this guy. So the witnesses describe this Galawakis as a larger than a dog with a cat-like head creature, shaggy dark fur, a long bushy tail, and the temperament of something,

like an aggressive temperament, but not like a full-out attack, but like a defensive dog, like growling and, like keeping you away. Descriptions shifted, obviously, depending on who fucking saw it and what they were saying. Some people said it actually just looked like a giant cat, not like shaggy fur or anything like that. It was just a big ass cat.

Others said the front end looked like a cat, but the back looked like a dog. One person just... Okay. All the one in the world is a little cat dog. Seabass into that. Sea base. One person described the reverse arrangement of the body, I guess. The front was the dog.

The back was the cat. And a man called the newspaper to report he'd seen an animal, a big animal in both fronts. Both fronts and both fronts. Not together. Not together. Are we talking literally cat dog? No, no, no, no. We're saying some people saw a front half dog.

Some people saw a cat half front half dog. Also, when you said a man called the newspaper, I thought you meant like his name was the newspaper. No, we just got cut off mid-sentence. Man called the news. That'd be great. They called me the newspaper. That's like what you know all. A Death Stranding guy.

And I let people know that I know everything. Constantly. Every morning. Death Stranding is such a good game. It's just so fucking stupid at the same time. A man called the newspaper to report he'd seen a big animal in the, in the dark with eyes that glowed like embers. And the thing was howling at night. Dogs apparently would run off and chase it into the woods and would come back shredded with claw marks and wounds.

And some of them didn't ever even come back at all. Livestock and pets went missing and small farm animals would turn up dead. Now, the name Gallawakis was coined by Hartford Courant editor, Francis J. King for Glastonbury. It stands for Glastonbury. Wack for Wacky. Oh, okay. I hate that so much. Okay.

And us as a faux Latin suffix to make it sound scientific. So it's just Galawackie. The get the wacky, the galawhacky, galawackus. That's it. It's a fake fucking name. Glastonbury.

Glastonbury. I mean, I'm there, but like galley, right? Like that's like not in glastonbury. Galawakus. Yeah,

I guess. Glouacus. I guess I'm saying it wrong. Can you, can you give me, can you give me this one in the Scoliophus chat, please? Yep,

here it is. the scoliosis chat please Gloacus I guess I'm adding I'm adding a bunch of word letters of me Glouacus Glawacus Ciawacus Golawacus makes it makes it

makes it sound better to me Gloacus Gallowacus is like a better designed word but that's not what these guys chose yeah this is like claw but glauacus Glawacus actually sounds like a place in America though like

oh yeah that's like 15 miles out past Gloacas over on the I-49. You know what I'm saying? Like that sounds like a place, right? Yeah, no, exactly. The reason this became so famous to is because back then, this is the late 30s,

1930s, by the way, a man, a radio commentator by the name of Lowell Thomas, whose broadcasts apparently reached millions across the nation, picked up the story and told his audience that the creature had been named the, been named by a quote unquote,

Connecticut scientists. And while technically, yeah, he's correct, they didn't explain that the name meant something silly. And it literally gave this thing an air of legitimacy that it wasn't supposed to have in any way. So it became like a myth version of itself? Yeah, exactly. The glowackus entered public consciousness on January 13th, 1939. the Hartford Corrin reported an unsuccessful hunting party near Glastonbury

that had been searching for a creature giving quote, quote, blood curdling yells at night. The context, the other part of like this that I think, if it was an animal that does that, there are red foxes in New England. I heard them all the fucking time.

Sure. They literally sound like women screaming in the woods at full volume like somebody is dying. There's a couple animals like that. Mountain lions kind of do that too. It's fucking scary. Mountain lions do that too. But yeah, Red Fox,

I had one outside my apartment for like 10 years. That thing always sounded like somebody was dying and not once it did not make me jump. So I don't doubt. Are you sure it wasn't a glowacus though? It could. I mean,

fair point. What if it was just like a really bad neighborhood? Are you sure? Yeah, I'm going to just bend that. Murder a night, dude. Hardcore. Speaking of Mountain Lions, right?

The game warden, Charles All's house at the time, it did initially suggest that it might have been a mountain. Lion, possibly one that escaped from a Manchester Vermont Zoo during a recent hurricane that had hit the area. So threw it over the fence. Yeah, exactly. Blew it out over the fence out of it.

Think about it. If these things are seeing something that they're describing as bigger than a cat or dog, but has the front half of a cat, but the paws of a mountain lion are huge in the back half of a dog, to me, that sounds exactly like what they're seeing. It's like a mountain lion that fucking escaped a 1930. zoo that got damaged by a hurricane. Is there anything over? There's not anything.

Forgive my ignorance. There's no cats over there, right? Like in the wild. I never had to worry about any. Wild cats of some sort. My point is just out here, it's not that odd to imagine seeing a cat in the wild. There are, they do exist. You're in a more mountainous area, which makes sense.

I'm going to look that up right now because it's something I didn't even bother to look up. Bob, the American bobcat is out there. Okay, but that's not a very big cat. It's not huge. Yeah,

it's not like huge. Mountain Lions, Eastern Mountain Lion is considered. There's Pumas and lynxes, Canadian lynxes. Yeah, Canadian lynxes, yep.

So maybe they are as big as like, to me, like the size of the mountain lion makes more sense to what these guys are described. It would be shocking to see that, even if you knew they were around. But I was just imagining that if they didn't, if they weren't familiar,

it would be extra scary to see something like that. Yeah. Well, because it wouldn't be used to what it looks like. Like coyotes to me, right? Like I have a different reaction to coyotes than probably like people who have never seen a coyote before.

Right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. This is a bunch of coyotes out there too, obviously. Like it's like, but like it could have been,

it could have been anything. And to that point, they even, on January 14th, they took out a fororable hunting party to go look for this thing. They like got a posse together. With two hounds that had been trained in the Ozarks, like a proper 19,

30s hunting party. That's the fucking glowwhackers right there, dude. Yeah. And they searched the countryside thoroughly and came up with nothing, but the sightings continued for the next month or so. And this actually had a minor cultural impact here. The Glowacus frenzy spawned a dance at the Polish national home in Hartford held for revolver and rifle club members the night before a Glastonbury hunting expedition.

It was called a Glowacchus. ball was held at the Grange Hall with free admission to anyone, offered to anyone who brought a real gloacas with them. You could get in there for free if you could bring an actual gloacas. And obviously, where there's a gathering of people, there comes the capitalism. Local merchants ran Glovacus themed promotions. A fake legislative bill was introduced proposing to set aside the town as a,

quote, sanctuary for the gloacas and other unknown forms of wildlife. The Amalgamated Canine Society of Connecticut issued a formal objection to the bill stating it, quote, denies us dogs the right to punish a cunning, vicious animal. What? The month closed with the acknowledgement that the mystery creature had provoked more tourism than the town had ever received. And the Gloaccus then faded by the spring of 1939 and then resurfaced in the mid-1950s with new animal attacks before disappearing. seemingly personally permanently. But fun fact, the Hartford Athletic Soccer Team unveiled

a mascot based on the Gloakis in 2023 named Dylan. Dylan the Gloakis? Dylan the Gloakis for the Hartford Athletic soccer team. I'm not going to clown on that just in case it's like named after some like kid who got hurt or something. He's his favorite cryptid dude.

But that's just a weird thing to call a Gloakus. You know what I'm saying? That's just like that's not what I would call a Gloakus. That's as far as I'm going to say. Would you take the Gloakis to the Union owner's house? I, okay. No, first of all. But second of all, I feel like the Gloacas is like people who are like trapped in the like

YouTuber family content trap before they even knew what that was. Like they had to be like Gloakus town to to stay on the map. That was like the most tourism they ever got. That's crazy. That's crazy. I feel like there's a lot of small. towns all throughout America that have like one weird thing got really popular for a hot minute and then they were like that's who we are because Roswell can be described as that

Roswell could easily be described as that. Crendor, you're going to say what I think you're about to say because I might be saying it too. Please continue. I said I was going to take the Gloakis to the Oyster house because everyone would be like, dude, that guy's got a Gloakus and then I'd become famous. Yeah. That's true. Finally. Completely agree. More importantly, I would like to take Dylan specifically click that link that's what Dylan looks like I want to take Dylan oh my God

Dylan Dylan's got he's got child bearing hips he's like he's like a cookie monster with like a wide hips and soccer ball antennas God he could crush me with them thighs dude that's crazy

crush it a Dover demon's head right between his thoughts I go to date with Dylan so yeah we take him out a glow ass It's out to the Ewancer house. Honestly, Crenner's right. It's a marketable,

that's a marketable evening. If it looks like Dylan, he can come for sure. But if it's a cat dog, that's giant and it's probably a mountain lion, I won't, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to even try and get in the cab with it.

Speaking, well, being able to crush melons with your thighs, that'll bring us right to the next cryptid that we also talked about back in the once ballroom. The Massachusetts melon crusher. The melon heads. Oh,

My fucking God, I forgot about these assholes. It's been a while, yeah. We talked about them in the live show back in the day. So these guys are fucking crazy. So what the melons heads are are small, humanoid beings with disproportionately large, boldest heads sitting on undersized bodies. The heads are swollen, misshapen, melon-like, which was where they get their name. Eldon ring enemies.

It's super Eldon-ringing. The creatures are pale with eyes that some witnesses describe by, saying that they glow in the dark. They are very quick. They live deep in the woods. And they come out at night to attack travelers, steal livestock, eat pets. And depending on which version of the story you're getting, possibly consume human flesh. This is literally Mr. Burns now.

Like this, like we're, we're just literally talking about that Mr. Burns with the dilated eyes. They have a personal fondness for teenagers in particular. They like to eat and, like, bother teenagers the most. Who doesn't? These guys, the melon heads are like very, very. very famous out there. They are scattered across Fairfield and New Haven counties out in New England. And our specific roads, there are specific roads that are considered melonhead territory,

actually. Zion Hill Road in Milford, which I know Milford. I know Milford well. Like, I know that area well. You see in Melanchard? I've never seen a melonhead,

unfortunately. I may have been the melon head back in the day. Oh my God. When you were in the graveyard walking. This is what heck is what melonheads grow up to if they are left alone. Velvet Street in Trumbull, also called Dracula Drive, which is its own separate legend. Its own separate thing. Dracula Drive for Sega Genesis.

You got that, dude? I don't. Do my car. I could only rent it for Blockbuster. I could never own it. Yeah, it was not available for purchase. That's why it's two. Exactly.

Dracula Drive. Then he had also active on Sawmill, Sawmill City Road in Shelton. and Jeremy Swamp Road in Southbury. Jeremy Swamp, dude. Jeremy Swamp, that's almost as bad as calling him Dylan. Jeremy Swamp. Jeremy Swamp, dude.

Jeremy Swap Road. Roads around Lake Mohhegan and Fairfield, marginal road in New Haven. All of these are real actual roads, too. You can fucking go to these places. A rough word. And a lot of these roads are like your old ass, and there's a lot of these down in New England,

if your old ass narrow, winding roads that are like, stressful just to drive down. I used to hate driving down those kinds of roads before running through heavily forested areas that are there's just no light. The only light is your headlights. That's it. And like these are like the areas teens would go drive to like, you know, do makeouts and like spend some time alone, which is another do make out. That's what you do.

The make out. Can I. What is surprising that I never. The kids are doing the makeup. It could surprise you that I never once got ever driven out to the woods? No, that doesn't surprise me at all. I have heard that they have engaged in making the making themselves out. The kids are doing the makeout.

Making themselves out in some way. It is terrible. I got to stick to the script I wrote and not go off and try to like. There I was. A young melonhead making it out. I got to get the tears out of my eyes so I can see straight. Oh, God. Another reason I think teens often saw them is because, you know,

when you're in the middle of the fucking woods by yourselves with no light, any animal, small, medium large is going to look really weird and creepy when it's like cast by shadows of trees. And that's all you can do. You guys have stories of yourselves of seeing weird things late at night due to bad lighting. And that wasn't when you were going to do any of the making out. That was when you were just being normal. I went to go piss and a deer walked out of the bushes like two feet away from

me while I was like in the middle of the night while I had a flashlight and I was like I was just like oh there it was like it was like silent until it appeared I just was like so like you you would you would never don't don't don't sell yourself short like it's so much scarier than you think every time because you become like animal mode I don't know how to describe it like when you go away from the loudness of city your ears like tune in another way you know what is happening I'm serious. From loudness of city. I'm serious.

Like, when you go away from, like, the loudness of the city, you're like, your ears, like, tune. You're, you, like, you, like, you, like, you, like, you, you like, you decide you can hear more. And then when, when a deer walks out of, like, a portal in front of you, you're like, oh, like, it's so scary. Moving out to, like, the boonies, when I moved from, like, actual, like, suburbs near the city of Providence out that way, out to Baraville, which is the, the, woods of like New England having deer around you for the first time and having like 10 of them and not hearing shit and they used to flash the flashlight into the woods and you just see the reflective eyes just looking back at you that shit the first time that happens it's creepy

as hell eventually you just get used to it but like it's so weird because they you have to really listen and you can kind of hear them walking around but most of the time they're just standing there silent as fuck and they're huge they make like weird ass noises they do That was surprisingly a good impression of what it sounds like. People have always told me I have a great dear impression. Yeah. I can see why. For the melon heads, though, there are a few different stories that we have.

In the 1980s, a group of girls, some of them are really short like this one, a group of girls from Notre Dame High School in Fairfield, drove down Velvet Street after a Friday night football game, parked and walked into the woods. They heard their car door slam behind them. Then the engine started and the car drove a little bit toward. them. What? It's like that Harry Potter scene or the car's coming to help them.

Yeah, exactly. It's like that, that Twilight Zone where they're on the wing, which is like way, way lower stakes. That's all it did. There was nothing in the car. They attributed to the melon heads. An asylum for the criminally insane in Fairfield County burned down around 1960. Most of the staff and patients died. 10 to 20 inmates were never accounted for. They fled into the woods, survived the winters through cannibalism. And so this is all a legend inbred for decades. Became the melonheads? Which they are the origin of the melon heads.

Supposedly, that is the origin. Like the hills have eyes. I was about to say, that's the hills have eyes. Yeah. Like, yeah, that's one of them. They basically inbred until they became like hydrocephalus and feral behavior is what the melon heads are.

That's just like a resident evil. That's like fucking insane. One of the other origin stories is during the colonial period, a family in the Shelton Trumbull area was accused of witchcraft because of, you know, there were witches back then, obviously. This is New England will be talking about all of that. Actually, not that long in the future here on this show in the next few months, which is exciting. But because they were witches, they were banished into the wilderness and survived through centuries of isolation and inbreeding, also producing the characteristic deformities over the generations which created the melonhead. So either you've got insane asylum inbreeding or witch family inbreeding. But no matter what, inbreeding is occurring.

Yeah, well, and those two. And then the last one I could find was one that kind of crossed over with an Ohio variant of a melonhead. So like assing of Ohio, like it checks out. A scientist named Dr. Crow conducted experiments on this is a lovecraft story. Dr. Crow. The umbrella sanitarium in New England. Dr. Crow. Eagle Town, New England.

did experiments on orphaned children. No. Injecting chemicals into their brains that cause their craniums to swell grotesquely. This is literally Resident Evil Requiem. The children eventually killed or did they steal, did Requiem steal it from the melon heads? The children eventually. If I ever play a video game where I have to fight and kill melon heads, I'm not like that anymore. R.

Shoot the melon heads. Presidents. In the eugenics, there's the one guy looks like a melon head that you have to find. You're not wrong. That's true. You know what? Can we just like, what about lemon heads? Those are pretty good.

Yeah. They are pretty good. I like that. I do like a lemon head. I always like those. Well, these children, we just got to get got a, the children experiments eventually killed Dr. Crow. No.

Facility to the ground and escaped into the woods. And the legend goes that there was another facility underneath that one. More high tech. But if you find the ruins of the building. You might see a melon head or two standing there, staring back at you from their old home. So they're just bulbous orphans that got like those are the three origin stories I could find. Inbreeding, inbreeding experiment. All I can think about that last one is the fact that it almost feels like an always sunny in Philadelphia episode where in the end the melon head is just Frank.

Yeah. It's just him naked in the window. He's like, yeah, hey, they have a melon. That's all I'm Why's the melon head just staying And they're looking at you Like what's he thinking about Life man

The melon head's like They want to eat your flesh They like teenagers Do they're not just looking at you They're gonna go get you They're gonna get you They're meaning It's because they never tried like

Like pretty bad Pretty bad clam shouter And The Union always A little lottery clam chowder They're like really Why they drove the car They never got to drive a car before

So they just wanted try driving a car. And they remember how it drove the car for like a foot at those teenage girls? Yeah. They just want to experience life. So taking them to your Norse house to give them that bad clam chowder might be a good idea. I think they start eating the people. That's what I'm.

That's my concern. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't take them. Yeah. A melon heads probably drive better than a lot of people. That's true. That's true. If you give them a chance. Yeah, he wasn't trying to hit them.

Yeah. Yeah, you just wanted to try it. Exactly. He could have hit all of them. I mean, look, maybe if, if the lemonheads were cool with me, the melon heads, sorry, I've got lemonheads on the brain now. Lemonheads are not cool with you. I've heard. I'm going to have to get some.

I don't know where even to find those anymore. I don't even know if they still make those. Those things are like 150 years old. Like there's got to be a shop somewhere called like Big Pete's house of treats. Where there's lemon heads? Get me a little bit of honey? Yeah. Oh, man.

You know what's there. It's not the gas station anymore. That's for sure. No, but if I was cool with the melon heads, like maybe we could like, maybe we could like. like go somewhere like a park and like Uber some union oyster house to us. No. I don't think that would be good like the park, dude. No.

Oh, I didn't think about that. No, I mean, okay, well, maybe we're somewhere. Maybe we're in a house. Maybe we're like at a, maybe we're at an Airbnb. Maybe. And I, and I just order some union oyster house because like I want to hang out with them if they're cool with me because it would be weird. But like, I don't want to bring them in there.

I think I think you're bending the criteria too much. It's would you bring them to the union oyster house. No. I would. Yeah. No, let's be honest. I wouldn't. Yeah, I don't think I would.

No, these guys suck. It doesn't matter if they have their very own version of the Sam Adams beer that is only available at Union Easter House. I don't care. Not bringing the melon heads. In fact, they seem like they'd be really annoying if they were drunk. Yeah, they probably pretend like they know a lot about about beer, but then they get grossed out by all the beers that taste anything different than what they're expecting. Yeah. Probably those type of people.

I agree with you. I don't think I'd bring them either for very similar reasons. It's a lot of. like I'm not a beer fan but I do love a Zima how the fuck did you find out about Zima Melanette's? What do they have down there at the umbrella

facilities? Don't question it. Or 1,500. Who knows you remember being born and before? We used to have Zima back of the day. That's why they killed all those witches. We are Legion. And there was some of us around

when Zima was still in stores. Honestly, that might actually be a good conversation at the oyster house now. Maybe I would bring him. If it's slow at the oyster house, bring them to the bar and sit at the bar and let the bartender be like, wait, what?

Actually, I was only brought back to life when Zima came back on Amazon. The witch family, like, create the Zima is that? I don't know what the melon heads are about, but they love stuff that was discontinued and then brought back.

Remember that one melon head that was like, remember they were like, oh, do you remember, surge. Oh, I got someone, it came back. Oh, do you think they'd want P.B. Chris back? Dude, I bet you they would. And where's

Waffle Chris? Yeah, where's Waffle. Chris at? I was the one. Dude, their blood is probably Crystal Pepsi. That's probably what that was. That was probably a piece. That was like a piece pack that we made with

them that we'd stop doing that. So, nose across the board, onto the next one, which is the Coos County Slender Samp. Sasquatch. You made that up right now.

You madlips that. Don't lie. You madlips that, right? A.K. The Wood devils. No, you madlips that. Don't lie. The Coos County,

slender Sasquatch. I don't know what's the problem. I like the alliteration, frankly. I think it's very good. What makes it so slender? Let's talk about it. So the, or also knows the wood devils.

Purging, sadly. Turkey. It's just turkey. I just want to get them help. And they can get help if they use promo code, Chill. Better help. We do not have a sponsorship with better help.

The Wood Devils have been reported in the dense force of Coos County, New Hampshire's largest in most remote areas. They stand between seven to nine feet tall, but they are described as exceptionally thin, often even gaunt. Somebody even went on to describe to describe it as being built like a scarecrow. Are you telling me there's like meth head bigfoots? Meth head bigfoots may exist, dude. Are you telling me there's like methed out malnourished bigfoots in the woods of New England? I think you should hear the description and you might come to the decision that meth head bigfoots might exist. Are meth head bigfoot's just meth heads that people mistake for bigfoots?

We did just learn on Cox and Crenthor. There are drug sharks. That's true. There's sharks on drugs. I'm sorry. Are you saying sharks or sharks? Sharks. Like swimming through the ocean.

Oh, yeah. Okay, that's... Yeah, so they're eating the drug. So that would make sense that big feet are also eating the drugs and kind of going a little crazy. You know what? We're the problem with the friends. It's because we take so many drugs. It filters into the environment and a big foot's like in a river, drinking the river water.

Mm-hmm. Start to see. He can't sleep. Too angry. Long limbs, narrow frame, shaggy hair. that ranges from tan colored to gray. Lost job at Apple Store. They described with a long face with a pronounced snout

and small, deep set eyes. The hands and feet are enormous and they smell terrible, which is very similar to most big feet that we've covered. And they always smell like shit. homeless people, though. I don't like what.

That's so weird. But for these guys, a wood devil will stand emotionless behind a tree trunk. and wait for the person to walk past them. If there's no tree available, it just freezes in place when the sees a human, standing perfectly still until it's sure the person just can,

until the person can't see it. And then when it feels like it's safe, it'll just bolt off in the other direction. Don't notice we're like it? Isn't that what that fake CHC is supposed to have done to you? Wasn't that like a thing? It's like, I was like hearing about it in like downtown LA back before weed was legal, like these like gang members.

were down there and they were like freezing on the streets because like they were just like they're getting all the bad drugs is going into the woods now to saskwatches and then when they think they can't be seen anymore they bolt in the other direction multiple witnesses end up describing the same kind of experience that they're hiking through these woods and they get either like they think they see something at the corner of their eye they feel like they're being watched and they turn around and there they see a seven footish tall figure standing behind a tree you just watch walk past and it takes off. It sprints. You can spot it. He gets spotted. He's like, I imagine when he runs. The start of it is like a Scooby-Doo. Like,

like, do you think he drives a Tesla? I don't think he drives. Where to get the license? These things also vocalized to hikers in Coos County report blood-curdling screams that echo through the entire. woods so loud and quote sounds so wrong that they send like these people running back for their trucks. I lost my apes. Gone. Citing's date back.

Citing's date back to the early 1900s with reports picking up significantly in the 1930s. Some of the lumberjack names for the creature were the Indian devil, Karkajoo, not J.E.W. They owe you on on meet that. Oh boy. We are over two so far. Yeah. And oh me that sees. Oh me that sees.

A what? Which is a Cree word seeds. Yeah. Yeah. Here, I'll show you. You'll see what I mean. I'll descend it to you. And you tell me.

Oh me that sees. Ami? It's a cree. It's the Cree name for Wolverine. Has it ever been used in a Wolverine comic? almost certainly. If that's out there, you know some dude was like,

what's your name, old man? Only that sees, Bob. That does work painfully well. The carachajoo, the word I said before that, also means Wolverine. So it's also just another word. So is it not just like a is it not just a Wolverine?

That's what it means, but these are like what the lumberjack started calling. this thing, which makes no sense because a Wolverine wouldn't be this big. Okay, fair enough. Okay. It's just what the lumberjacks were picking it up and identifying it as. There's a theory that the lumberjacks ended up like putting forward. There's a theory that the lumberjacks put forward these stories to scare off competition.

Or it was a new worker hazing ritual type thing. Bringing a new guy into the woods, cutting trees and tell him, oh my God, did you see that over there? And like, just trolling and shitting on them. In 1942. To trolling and shit. A hunter named George Wentworth claimed to have shot and wounded one of these things. Changing Wentworth.

He said he claimed to have shot and wounded one of these things near Dixville Notch. He described it as roughly. I just want to say before you continue, shout out to every election year. Because that is the very first county that report. in the country every year. There's like 20 people that vote and every year newscasters

have to say Dixville Notch and honestly we're hearing it in from Dixville Notch. Yep. J.G. Wentworth just shot. 877% now. He described it as roughly 8 feet tall and 400 pounds and he said he followed the blood trail

until the blood trail disappeared into a thick brush and he lost it. Hunter in 1948, a hunter named George LaVoy spotted a tall hairy creature standing behind a tree near his hunting camp. He described it with a horse-like face, gray hair, and he fired his rifle and missed. The only evidence he found afterwards was a set of enormous footprints. 1973, hikers near Mount Cabot reported a large creature standing on two legs behind a tree

roughly seven feet tall with grayish brown fur, and they also noted a powerful, unpleasant odor when they got close. 177, a driver named John Horing reported a large hairy creature crossing Route 3 near Pittsburgh at night. And that is the extent of the sightings I deemed worth keeping. And that is slender potentially methhead, Bigfoot. The big method slender Sasquatch. The Coos County Slender Sasquatch.

Coos County Slender Sasquatch. I'm taking, first off, aside from the stink, which honestly I've been I don't think I'm not gonna take him because he already stinks too bad you were at packs I just came back from place that had some stinky people

um did you go to the oyster house no no instead I went to Chinatown and I got fall which was delicious you had like an actual good dinner yeah yeah but um I will say

that if I'm going to you an oyster house you know what there's some hairy dudes with long beards and you're gonna fit right in slander Sasquatch Yeah. I can get in there. You probably got stories to tell. It's like,

one time I was in Pittsburgh. It was crazy. Yeah. I used to live in Pittsburgh. Which is there. So yes on everybody then? Yeah, I'll bring them.

You too Krendor? No, I said I wouldn't. He'd smell too bad. I don't even think I'd want to smell them. I think I'm a no also. I mean, oh, wow.

Look, look, is there, should I risk it? Like, you were willing to bring melonhead as long as you could take him to a bar, but you wouldn't bring meth head. Yeah, Melanhead was going to eat people. This guy just stinks.

But he doesn't smell. If we're cool. That's our line. It's the house. Eating people. No, if me and Melanhead are cool. I bet Melanhead smells good.

I think I think slender Sasquatch are going to bum people out because I think people are going to realize what he really is. No, the melon heads are terrifying. And just because melons in the name doesn't mean they smell like fresh fruit. These guys are killers. Have you smelled one? Have you smelled sledge?

Have you ever tasted a lemonhead? Lemonheads are delicious. How do you know he smells bad? Just because some asshole said so? numerous people said he smelled bad. No, you know what? Could be them.

They could be the ones that smell bad. All big feet do smell bad. All big feet do smell bad. Then why are there so many books about banging big feet? Because maybe some people are into that. I was going to say, I bet you there are just some people that are really in the feet. Maybe you're all jealous of his musk.

You guys can't handle the musk. Takes a lot to cultivate a musk. Yeah, I don't think anybody can't anymore. I think we're all tired of the musk. All right. You ready to move on to the next one then? Yes. I would take him to the oyster house.

I would take him. We'll go. We'll go with a grumble. Yeah, we'll go. This one is the nightmare of North Smith Smithfield. Fuck, I fucked that up. The nightmare of North, I wanted to say North Smithfield, because that's where I come from in an area I was around, but it's Northfield. The nightmare of Northfield, pig man.

Yo! I'm already in. I'm taking this. We're going out. We're going to do a whole box today. We're going to do the tourist stuff. I'm going to take him over to Boston Common. We're going to go shopping.

You'll talk to Benjamin Franklin on the street. Yeah. We'll go watch all the guys who like bang the drums and stuff of the throat. The whole thing. Let's see. Let's go through it. Let's go three and through that. You might not feel the same after that.

You might not feel the same after this. All right. I'll tell you when I'm out. I'll tell you when I'm out. The pig man is described as a tall bipedel creature covered in coarse white hair naked with a with a hollowed out pig's head worn over its own face like a mask I'm out I'm out sorry oh wait so we don't know what this dude looks like I can't take him to the I can't take him to the way it's not necessarily even a man how mysterious

I'm still in I'm gonna spend a whole day with this guy the exposed skin beneath the white hair is seen as pale the hands end in long clawed fingers it's associated with often pig slaughter, animal mutilation, and the discovery of caves filled with gnawed bones, aka where a wild animal was spending its time.

At night, it is supposedly has a, like, uh, ear shattering scream. The sound is described as between a human shriek and a high-pitched pigs,

a squeal, which is like, awful sounding. I'm not even, I'm not even like going to do the bit. I don't even want to how bad that says. No. Uh,

and it's, This is at Northfield, Vermont forest is often seen. Now, on October 30th, 1951, the most interesting thing Vermont has ever produced. Some like game developers like writing this down and we're going to like play this on Scary Game Squad in like six months. On October 30th, 1951,

the night before Halloween, uh, known locally as picket night or mischief night. 17 year old Sam Harris left his family's farm in Northfield, Vermont with a, basket of eggs planning to vandalize some houses as a prank. He never came home that night. His parents reported him missing the next morning and a massive search was organized. Hundreds of locals combed the forest and hills surrounding Northfield for weeks.

They searched every area they could, every hillside they could reach and they found nothing. They didn't find any body. They didn't find any clothing. Just zero trace of this guy at all. It's like he simply vanished. Over the years, people tried to make sense out of it like he ran away. somebody killed him or he fell, maybe fell into a ravine, and his head.

But the locals developed a much darker explanation. And 20 years later, Big man, got him. And 20 years later, the explanation walked out of the woods. During a high school dance in Northfield, a group of boys went out behind the school to a sandpit near the cemetery where they'd stashed some beers. They came tearing back into the dance,

white-faced and crying. They said something had come walking out of the woods on two human legs. It was naked, covered in white hair, wearing a hollowed-out pig's head over its own face, and it carried a knife in one hand and a bloody pig's head in the other. Some of the braver students went out to investigate the sand pit, but they didn't find the creature. Who wouldn't let the kids out? It's 1971, bro. I don't know.

Oh, yeah. I mean, if my dad can ride in the back of a pickup truck, we might as well let the kids out of the gym to go mingle with the pig man. There is something interesting about every sighting of the pig man so far is related to kids doing something they shouldn't. And as a result, the pig man gets them. Frankly, I'm here for that. This pig man is laying.

He's keeping kids safe. When they went out to the sand pit, they found, didn't find the creature, but they did see the grass and underbrush had been trampled flat. After the dance, the connections started to form. A farmer came forward to say he'd seen a hideous naked. figure rummaging through his garbage a few nightsie earlier. And pigs had gone missing from local farms. And obviously people remembered Sam Harris, the boy who never came home.

Most sightings since then have centered on a place called the devils. Like a Harry Potter thing. The ball and never came home. Because it was like a spooky like a little like fairy tale, man. That's why. It's a fucked up fairy tale, bro. Most sightings have since then have centered on a place called the devil. wash bowl, which is a remote basin of streams cliffs water bowl.

I remember devil's rock out that near where I live too, where kids would go hang out and jump off the rock on that's like famous, I think. I think there's like a like a show about it or something. I don't remember. Oh, yeah. Actually, I think you're right. I think there's like a documentary type thing out out there. Like somebody like weird is the host of it.

Like somebody like Henry Rollins or something weird. It's all this hell of what you're talking about too. Like I know what you're talking about. Why do I imagine it's Mark Summers? It's like somebody. Wow. Great. This is Devil's Rock, and we're going to see what kind of mysteries are inside.

On unwrapped. Basically, you reached this place, the Devil's Washbowl. You reached it via an unmaintained Class 4 road called Washbowl Road. The houses along the road are spaced half a mile to three quarters of a mile apart with nothing but deep woods between them. There are abandoned structures, caves. The name Devil's Washbow even predates the Pigman legend, which, uh, obviously makes everything more creepy.

Jeff Hatch, a local who became the unofficial pig man historian after his high school dance was interrupted in 1971. Hey, when you end up as the unofficial pigman historian. I know,

right, dude. That's like, that's like, you're an aspirations, man. And then all of a sudden he blinks and he's the unofficial pigman historian. It's like all that's out there to do. Like,

what else are you doing out there? I guess he's that small town. There's, again, house every half a mile to three and a quarter of the mile. And you're just the local pigman historian and he he kind of did it to himself he kind of did it to himself because he just like went out looking for the pig man more and started like taking in stories of the pig man it's one of

those nights we go out and you decide i'm going to document and analyze the activities of the pigman for the rest of my life i can see this being him being the origin story of slender saskwatch he's been in the woods looking for the pigman too long where are you pigman uh he would explore caves near the wash bowl with friends and found them filled with animal bones. A similar stash of gnawed bones was also found at the towns of only pig farm. Strange cloven footprints turned up in soft ground. Listen, I'm going to do this man justice and tell you what he found.

Vermont author Joseph Citro, who has documented the legend extensively, visited the washbowl himself and described it as a place where the temperature felt, quote, misaligned with the rest of the world. Well, of course. What does that mean? Yeah, like cold?

Like, what are you? You decide, what does that mean? Fives? Smells like shit? What are we talking about here? No, the temperature. I know, but... Misaligned, not the smell.

I mean, if he's saying misaligned, all right? What does temperature even mean at this point? Like, oh, the temperature is misaligned with the rest. It's a bit bluer than the temperatures are here and on this realm. I find the temperature is a bit more suspicious than this realm. I guess. I don't know, dude. I don't know what he meant by it.

Misaligned is a bullshit fucking word. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. What about Mr. Aligned? Yeah. Where is he at? Is he at? That's good.

Now, if you're wondering what the origins are, I don't think you picked it up. But the origin isn't him. Sam Harris got killed by the pig man. The idea is Sam Harris became the pig man. Sure, sure. That's the supposed origin. The pig man is Sam Harris. And the pig man was also featured on a 2015 episode of Monsters and Mysteries in America.

and is still one of them Vermont's. And they found them. Then they solved it. Like they did with every single one of them. He tells them in the asylum. He's still there. And if it catches you,

he turns you into a pig slave. And you have to follow him around and be his little pig pig pig. Hedgeman. It just become his henchman. Citron, Citro rather, has said that the pigman is much more likely to be seen

if people know about him. So now you know. He's more likely to be seen if you know about him because if you don't know about him, then you won't mistake things for him. That is the same guy. That's the same guy who said the temperature felt misaligned to the rest of the world. So he also said,

the more people know about him, the more likely you are to see him. Misaligned with the rest of the world. The rest of the world. Yeah. Yeah. Like what the fuck? Like, what in the hell does that mean, dude?

You know what it means. It means that that guy's a sociopath is what it means. That's a crazy thing to say. So, with that said, Are you taking Pigman to the Union Oistair House? Absolutely not. No. No, the Pigman can absolutely not.

I'm still in. Oh, God. We don't know what he is. That's what makes it fun. First off, Pigman and I roll in the Oyster House staff is going to be excited. They're going to be like, go to stop in their trash. They're going to be like, poor pig man. I'm going to get free drinks all night.

They're going to be pouring. It's like showing up with Jason Voorhees. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I would, I would not. bring him. Oh, no. You guys are missing out on a fun night. I wouldn't bring him either. I wouldn't bring him either. It's this guy. He's got stories. He's going to be like, I was got. I scared kids at a dance.

I'm like, man. Hell yes. I got kids about premarital sex. All of my scary occurrences are moral lessons. You should have listened to your religious mother. All right. We're going to move on to our very last cryptid here. The Winstead Wildman of Connecticut. Oh. On. Great. Greg.

Before. His reputation proceeds. Hold on. First off, Pigman and Wild Man one night together. Let's go. Let's go. You know that would be amazing.

Amber. Pigman and Wildman is like a forgotten hip-hop. Dude, I'm going to say, you got to bring the slender Sasquatch, the pig man and the wild man. And we're taking that snake water taxi over to the you across the harbor from the convention center over to union house we're riding there this is a night i agree i agree although eff them lemonheads yeah i said what i said what i said they were cool with us man

don't say that about them dude just because they eat other people man you know so on august 21st 1895 the winstead evening citizen published a report from town selectmen Riley Smith, who claimed that while picking blackberries on old Lausale Road near Colbrook with his bulldog Ned, a large naked, hair-covered man, roughly six feet tall, burst from a clump of bushes, leaped into the air, let out a fearsome cry, and then bolted into the woods. I think that happens in Florida, like every week. That's what happens when the bars close, yeah. The creature's hair was long and black and street.

seemed behind it as it ran. The body was described as muscular and heavy built. Both Smith and his dog were reportedly paralyzed with fear. The story was edited by 21-year-old Lew Stone, and within days, it was being picked up by papers across New England and eventually New York. Sightings multiplied at a suspicious pace. A strange coach driver saw a large creature leap a stone fence. A farmer reported his chickens were going missing.

A man named Charles Benson claimed something. dropped from a tree and chased him all the way home. He had no idea. He had no thought to look and see what the fuck it was. Dude, he just saw something drop in the tree and ran. Oh, fuck. A woman and neighbor and neighboring Colbrook found a creature sleeping on her front porch

and had to like, like it was human size. I just think it was a person. Two vacationing New York women insisted it was clearly a gorilla that was sleeping on her porch. No way. What? You think it's a wild man more than you would think it's a gorilla?

Was there a missing gorilla? Not that I'm aware of. I couldn't find a missing gorilla. Yeah, no, I don't think it was a gorilla. New England is known for its New England gorillas. Oh, I did know that. See, I'm not from there. I believe they're called slender saskwatches.

Oh, right. Let's get a boy run in Boston. It costs more than Los Angeles. What's happening? Why is that? And the more of the stories seemingly came out, the more like it got picked up, the more of the wild man seemingly like grew in physical size. Like each retelling of sighting,

it just became bigger and bigger. Yeah. Yeah. It became a fucking kiju by the end. Eldon ring boss, 14 foot tall man. Exactly. The melon heads has these little cohorts. Dude.

Unfortunately. So like a man by the name of Jim. Madra actually boasted that he'd snapped a photograph of this supposed wild man

monster. Unfortunately, the photo showed just a perfectly normal dude who was a little hairy but like he

was unremarkable. It was just like a guy. It was just like this dude. Catch me naked. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Except not naked. You know, yeah, I think it's exactly it. It was just your relative from way back in the day.

Just me. Just a guy. just a guy with a little bit of body hair. Exactly. When you questioned about like, hey, this is just a dude in your photo. Madra explained that his camera had been so,

that his camera had been so startled by the wild man that the camera couldn't see straight. It turned him into a man. No, no, the camera was just unable to properly get a photo of it, because his own camera was like startled by it. It got so scared that it mistakenly printed a man on the image instead of what it actually saw. Yeah,

Exactly right. That's what he said. Yes, that's exactly what he. The camera fucked up. And instead of what really was there, a normal dude came out of the camera. The image of a normal dude was burned onto the film instead of a. Yep. Yep.

Well, what are you doing, America when something like this happens if you haven't learned by now? Shoot it. So about 100 armed men organized a search party, divided into groups and scoured the country. the countryside looking for this thing so they could fucking shoot it. They're like, that was their response. It treated just like that Santa Bank robber.

Yeah. This is like the town coming out with all. Get your gun! Soops! And someone in the pot is just hitting it with a ladle. The search party found a cave

with some bones and a sink shoe. It's him. They also accidentally shot, you got me, I laughed so hard to give me the hiccups, bro. Oh, God. Okay. They also accidentally shot a farmer's, a farmer's escaped mule, which they had mistaken, mistaken for the wild man. It's him. Exactly. The reporters eventually left with nothing but one paper got, quote, sunburn and hangovers from the local beer. Sunburn hangover dead donkey

That's all the hunters got Wildman doesn't exist Later on it went on to become locally famous As a A fabricator of tall tauntage The person who created the initial story Of how he saw this thing in the woods with his dog Eventually went on to become like a local

Famous liar Doodoo writer What do you mean He got a local famous liar You all know you all know like those one up people that tell stories that are so unbelievable that but like they there's no way to like he tells like he tells whoppers is what you yes he tells whoppers of of a story like he would go on later on in his life after this to invent stories about how he came across talking owls how he

found a five-legged cow how he was able to tame trout dude one time my dad swears he was running by the cliffs in Pallas Verdes and he looked over and he saw an owl on his back resting in the grass getting ready to fly again I think it was just dead I think it was just a dead he said it was like you said it was like

ooh yeah of our audio listeners wiping the sweat the sweat of his brow my dad my dad also did die who's like see that mountain

I could put a flag at the top of that I'd be back here 15 minutes I get the feeling that that's kind of what kind of guy you're talking about. Yeah, I think you might be correct. But the original Wildman story, because he hadn't been known to be that kind of person yet, many researchers actually just believed the story initially. But eventually when they all realized it, they were like, oh, so it was all fabricated or at the absolute best case scenario, a highly dramatically embellished event of where maybe he

saw a dude to sell papers or something. You'd be like, hey, one time we're better faster than a boat. The American Guide series later described Winstead as a quote, never, never land where the unusual is expected to happen and usually does. Body. It would later return briefly in the 1970s after Stone died in the 1930s, but in July of 1972, two Winstead teenagers, Wayne Hall 19 and David, Chapman 18 reported seeing a creature near Crystal Lake Reservoir.

They described it as roughly eight feet tall, covered in hair, and walking upright. One said it made a noise like, quote, a frog mixed with a cat. When someone suggested it was probably a bear. It just sounds like a deer. Yeah, exactly. When someone suggested it was probably a bear, they insisted, quote, it was no bear. Dude, shut him down real quick. That's it.

Being controvert, just, just irrefutable evidence. Boom. It was. Two years later in 1974, two couples parked at a night, at a night, two couples parked at night near rug. God, I kept adding, ah, for no reason. Two couples parked at night near Rugbrook Reservoir reported. I can't read. I can't read my own fucking script.

It's going down. Rug Brook Reservoirs where they parked it reported a hairy bipedal creature, approximately six feet tall and 300,000. counts. Police came to investigate. They found nothing. That's it. And that is all the sightings of this wild man creature from the 1800s to the 1970s. The wild man, the wild man can come because I'm pretty sure it's just a dude.

And he needs to do it. Yeah. I'm pretty sure he's just a dude and he needs a meal. And he's a wild man. That guy's going to party. Yeah. He'll even accept something like the Union Oyster House because of how hungry he is. He'll probably drink anything.

you give them. Yeah. Even that brand, that, that, that unique flavor of Samuel Adams that they have just for the union oyster. The oyster flavor? I don't know what it is. I think I'm talking about something that really exists. But there's actually one more, uh, cryptid. I was going to say, I have some details on a cryptid. I was going to put on the, on the full script, but I didn't have, because it's not a ton known about them, but I can go over them real quick. Yeah, real quick. Just real quick. Yeah. So this cryptid, uh, is usually around four inches tall, often seen more in modern day times rather than old in day times. There are some reports of him being on boats in the 1800s or so. Yeah, because it was a legal gray area at the time.

At the time, it was a legal gray area, exactly, of a short bean shaped like entity that often only shows up in the homes and camping grounds of those who are partaking in legal marijuana use. Yeah, he might be around otherwise, but he doesn't come out unless it's all above board. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That's all I really know about him.

Did you know more about him, Alex? I heard that he has been seen lately outside of Fenway Park in the shadow of the sicko sign, but that he's made some changes and that he's getting things ready for. I don't know what he's, I don't know what he's planning. He said, I don't think it's like a whole month about Boston, but I think it kind of is like a whole month about Boston.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know what's going on, but the Beanboy is around. That's what I've heard. He's about and we should be looking for him. That's all we know. That's all we know right now. And on any sightings, honestly, put them on the subreddit, please. Yeah, there's one.

There's one. If you check out Studio Mel Electro, there's one sighting of him. And we actually used it as our channel art this season. Because, you know, Mel, our artist is from Massachusetts. And Mike also lived in Boston for a long time, Boston area. And so, I don't know. Like, we did L.A. because me and Jesse are from there.

and this is another place that's kind of similar to that. And even though we're kind of trolling, we are actually going to talk a lot about like some stuff that has to do with this area of the country. The greater New England area is often kind of seen as one entity, you know, in a lot of ways. And there's a lot of weird shit, including the Salem Witch Trials, which will be deep diving. Yeah. In about a month and a half or two months. Yeah.

So give some love to our Boston family here on the show. And yeah, I, that's all I wanted to say about the Boston baked bean boy. Yeah, yeah. More to come. Let us know. And thank you to our Chicago cryptid, Crendor, for being here. Thank you very much for having me. I know there's not many Chicago cryptids out there.

So she had to make his own. Yeah. We're going to do all hot dog mascots next time. We're going to do all the various different hot dog mascots. And where shall we send people this time Crenor to see more Crenor? Not that we, you know, all statistics pointed them knowing where you're from. Where can we send them? Yeah.

Uh, personally, you know, you could, you could really go to YouTube.com slash Crendor where I make top 10 lists out of pointless things in World Warcraft. Or if you want to hear me and Jesse rant about absolutely nothing for an hour every week, there's YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast. It's true. 500 episodes. Perhaps sometime to and we'll all meet again somewhere someday. In person. In person. In the summertime.

In the summertime. In the living. Oh, yeah. No, I mean, in theory, we can in fact say that Cox and Crenor, Live and Chulamani Live are returning in August. Yeah. And that's no April Fool. That's a real fool.

That's a real fool. That's not no April fool. There ain't no April fool. That's real fool. That's August fool. That's August, you fool. Yeah. And we're going to go do a minisody fool.

Yeah. Over at patreon.com slash ChuluminaityPod. We appreciate you. We love you. You may see Crenor there. We're going to figure out if you want us to hang out between episodes. You have to come listen to find out. We'll see you there.

Shout out Boston. Shout out Central Mass. Shout out New England. Much love. Bye. Anyway, me and my wife were sitting outside indulging on our porch one night, enjoying ourselves. I needed to go to the bathroom, so I stepped back inside,

and after a few moments, I hear my wife go, holy shit, get out here. So I quickly dash back outside. She's looking up the sky in the fall. I look up too, and there's a perfect line of dozen lights traveling across the sky. I'm